Elizabeth Barone's Blog: Elizabeth Barone's Blog, page 19

Bringing It Home

This month’s been a rollercoaster. I’ve been struggling with burnout and depression. Our only car shit the bed. Mike and I both got COVID (his first time, my second). Our finances, which have been limping along for a while now, took a major fall. I had to cancel my one and only 2022 appearance (RomantiConn). We both made a full recovery (I have some residual issues, but nothing major). Mike did his first tattoo on someone other than himself: me! I finally started writing again. I got cleared by my rheumatologist to resume my treatments. And I’ve officially graduated—he and his office are setting me up to do weekly Benlysta injections at home rather than monthly infusions!

I can’t believe all of that happened in one month. That’s usually my typical year. 

I’m just grateful that neither Mike nor I had any COVID complications.

I can’t wait to start doing Benlysta at home. My rheumatologist wanted me to resume infusions ASAP, but there’s no way I can get out to the infusion center. I told him about my car problems and he asked if I’d be okay with switching to weekly injections. I’ve known for a while that method was available, but I kinda liked going to the infusion center. They have snacks and cable; I binged a lot of HGTV from behind my eyelids.

I’m so ready to bring Benlysta home, though. It’ll give me some autonomy back; infusions aren’t easy and they pretty much take up your whole day.  When I first found out I was going to be getting biologic infusions, I pictured Mike sitting beside me for moral support. But the infusion center hasn’t allowed visitors since the pandemic started, so I’ve been doing them alone from day one. I also pictured moral support from friends and family, the way people rally around someone getting chemo: posters, cards, blankets, warm hats. Instead, some people in my life became even more distant. Rather than be bitter, I’m proud of myself. This flare has been beyond anything I ever imagined could happen with UCTD. (Now I know better, and I know what to watch for.) I made it through, and I rebuilt myself to be stronger than ever before.

Before I got sick, I used to play softball. I hit exactly one home run, during a practice. I was still crazy proud of myself. For a brief moment, I was in the zone. I hit that ball when I usually swung and missed. I ran from base to base with my whole team whooping and cheering. “Bring it home,” Coach yelled, and I did.

This kind of feels like that.

What’s the Holdup with A Lasting Prospect?

I finally admit it: I’m in a hell of a writing rut when it comes to A Lasting Prospect.

During the editing process for A Fatal Prospect, multiple early readers suggested I make some changes that even now don’t sit right with me. There was a method to my madness, but because so many people suggested these things, I felt I should probably change them.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Originally, Bryce’s rapists were 17 and 18 years old. This subplot was based on the Tennessee case from a few years back. Several players on a high school basketball team went to a conference and, during that field trip, raped one of their teammates. It made national news. The rapists got away with a slap on the wrist and, as far as I know, none of the adult chaperones or coaches were held accountable.

I wrote this into A Fatal Prospect because I wanted to make the point that we have to hold people accountable for rape, regardless of age, or potential, or status. But it was suggested to me by multiple early readers that it wasn’t cool to “kill kids,” as if I was going out into the world and slaying innocent children with my own two hands. Still, I changed it, because I didn’t want to get nailed with one-star reviews. It was suggested to me that I age them up a little and tone down the revenge scene, so I did, and now I regret it. The revenge scene was pivotal and what I ended up with is a watered down version where Cliff seems emasculated and the victim Bryce is not empowered because it’s Olivia, Donny, and Stixx who kill his abusers. (By the way, a gunshot just seems too easy to me, even a year after publishing book. The original revenge was an eye for an eye, much more gory.)

Speaking of Olivia, she was supposed to lose her baby. She’s long struggled with her relationship with her mother and she’s always thought she could never be a mother. When Lucy is murdered and Olivia gets custody of her daughter, she’s convinced she won’t be able to love Bunny right. This is triggered further by her learning that she is pregnant with Cliff’s baby.

In the original version of A Fatal Prospect, Olivia chooses to have an abortion so that she can focus on Bunny and go get Cliff. I know so many women who had to abort a pregnancy so they could care for their living children, so it was important to me to include this; it’s a very real concern that Olivia had. She’s worried that she doesn’t have the emotional and financial resources to raise two babies at once. She’s worried that being pregnant would only slow her down during the rescue op, potentially putting herself, Cliff, and the others at risk. She’s also worried that she’d just lose the pregnancy anyway, from the stress of everything. This creates a rift between her and Cliff but it teaches her that she actually really wants to be a mother. It becomes the catalyst to the ending I always planned for: Cliff, Olivia, Bunny, and baby Ruth.

But early readers did not like the abortion storyline. They suggested I either change it to a miscarriage or save the pregnancy altogether.

I was under a deadline to fulfill pre-orders, struggling with my own grief, and in the middle of a flareup that’d landed me in the ICU, so I quite honestly just wanted to be done with this book. And I caved. I wish I hadn’t, because now I’m not sure how to write A Lasting Prospect. Everything I carefully planned for throughout writing this series no longer works.

It’s tricky, balancing readers’ expectations and desires with your own artistic vision. There are lots of things I’m trying to say with this story, about rape, and revenge, and love, and now I feel stifled. It’s my own fault, because I should’ve pushed back the release date and tried to figure out another way. (I have a fantastic editor and beta readers who would’ve gladly helped me figure this out. I’m not blaming them at all for my final revisions, and I very much appreciate their feedback—then, now, and always.) I can’t go back and change it. What’s done is done. But I’m really struggling with balancing it all. It’s not for lack of trying; I’ve written and scrapped many thousands of words for this book.

I’m sure I’ll come up with a solution. I always do. In the meantime, I’ve been working on other things, and I’m probably just going to start publishing them. You can’t build a career by being hung up on one book, stubbornly refusing to publish anything else until you figure it out. That’s crazy, and I think we can all agree I’m crazy enough without that additional pressure.

On the plus side, A Fatal Prospect has really good reviews, so making those changes might’ve been the right move after all.

Start the series now with your free copy of A Disturbing Prospect!

What’s the Holdup with A LASTING PROSPECT???

I finally admit it: I’m in a hell of a writing rut when it comes to A Lasting Prospect.

During the editing process for A Fatal Prospect, multiple early readers suggested I make some changes that even now don’t sit right with me. There was a method to my madness, but because so many people suggested these things, I felt I should probably change them.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Originally, Bryce’s rapists were 17 and 18 years old. This subplot was based on the Tennessee case from a few years back. Several players on a high school basketball team went to a conference and, during that field trip, raped one of their teammates. It made national news. The rapists got away with a slap on the wrist and, as far as I know, none of the adult chaperones or coaches were held accountable.

I wrote this into A Fatal Prospect because I wanted to make the point that we have to hold people accountable for rape, regardless of age, or potential, or status. But it was suggested to me by multiple early readers that it wasn’t cool to “kill kids,” as if I was going out into the world and slaying innocent children with my own two hands. Still, I changed it, because I didn’t want to get nailed with one-star reviews. It was suggested to me that I age them up a little and tone down the revenge scene, so I did, and now I regret it. The revenge scene was pivotal and what I ended up with is a watered down version where Cliff seems emasculated and the victim Bryce is not empowered because it’s Olivia, Donny, and Stixx who kill his abusers. (By the way, a gunshot just seems too easy to me, even a year after publishing book. The original revenge was an eye for an eye, much more gory.)

Speaking of Olivia, she was supposed to lose her baby. She’s long struggled with her relationship with her mother and she’s always thought she could never be a mother. When Lucy is murdered and Olivia gets custody of her daughter, she’s convinced she won’t be able to love Bunny right. This is triggered further by her learning that she is pregnant with Cliff’s baby.

In the original version of A Fatal Prospect, Olivia chooses to have an abortion so that she can focus on Bunny and go get Cliff. I know so many women who had to abort a pregnancy so they could care for their living children, so it was important to me to include this; it’s a very real concern that Olivia had. She’s worried that she doesn’t have the emotional and financial resources to raise two babies at once. She’s worried that being pregnant would only slow her down during the rescue op, potentially putting herself, Cliff, and the others at risk. She’s also worried that she’d just lose the pregnancy anyway, from the stress of everything. This creates a rift between her and Cliff but it teaches her that she actually really wants to be a mother. It becomes the catalyst to the ending I always planned for: Cliff, Olivia, Bunny, and baby Ruth.

But early readers did not like the abortion storyline. They suggested I either change it to a miscarriage or save the pregnancy altogether.

I was under a deadline to fulfill pre-orders, struggling with my own grief, and in the middle of a flareup that’d landed me in the ICU, so I quite honestly just wanted to be done with this book. And I caved. I wish I hadn’t, because now I’m not sure how to write A Lasting Prospect. Everything I carefully planned for throughout writing this series no longer works.

It’s tricky, balancing readers’ expectations and desires with your own artistic vision. There are lots of things I’m trying to say with this story, about rape, and revenge, and love, and now I feel stifled. It’s my own fault, because I should’ve pushed back the release date and tried to figure out another way. (I have a fantastic editor and beta readers who would’ve gladly helped me figure this out. I’m not blaming them at all for my final revisions, and I very much appreciate their feedback—then, now, and always.) I can’t go back and change it. What’s done is done. But I’m really struggling with balancing it all. It’s not for lack of trying; I’ve written and scrapped many thousands of words for this book.

I’m sure I’ll come up with a solution. I always do. In the meantime, I’ve been working on other things, and I’m probably just going to start publishing them. You can’t build a career by being hung up on one book, stubbornly refusing to publish anything else until you figure it out. That’s crazy, and I think we can all agree I’m crazy enough without that additional pressure.

On the plus side, A Fatal Prospect has really good reviews, so making those changes might’ve been the right move after all.

Start the series now with your free copy of A Disturbing Prospect!

Did A Disturbing Prospect just become an Amazon bestseller?!

This morning I checked my rank and sales while peeing, like I do every morning. (Yes, authors pee. This one pees a lot.) I was so stunned, I just yelped “Oh my god” a couple times. (Note to self: This is what happens when you say something ironically too long. It becomes actual habit.)

A Disturbing Prospect is now in the Top 100 in the entire Amazon free store.It’s also #2 in the Mystery Romance category.And it’s #9 in the Romantic Suspense category.

Mike was outside, so he came running in, thinking I’d hurt myself or something. I couldn’t form words so I just shoved my iPad at him, babbling “Book! Top 100!”

And then I died.

Screenshots or it didn’t happen, right? Well, here ya go.

 

It happened.

So then I did another super glamorous author thing: I threw on Lizzo’s “Juice” and danced it out… while washing my face.

There was water everywhere, but I didn’t care, because my baby is in the Top 100 free.

I know I’ve been very tight-lipped about my plans for 2022 and my next release, and I really appreciate your patience. I’ve made myself a little roadmap and I’ve been quietly working (and resting—you can’t accomplish anything while chronically ill without rest). I hope to have news for you soon!

In the meantime, download A Disturbing Prospect for FREE, everywhere ebooks are sold.

READ NOW

(This button takes you to a universal link, where you can purchase from your favorite ebook retailer, like Kindle or Eden Books.)

Want a taste before you commit? Read Chapter 1!

And thank you so very much to all my OG readers who didn’t even blink when I first published A Disturbing Prospect. I’ve always loved dark romance, but I didn’t know if you guys would be into it if I let myself write it. I also didn’t know if anyone would like it because I didn’t want to go the toxic “antihero” route. (I have strong opinions on what actually makes an antihero and why so many dark romances just… miss my mark.) I also didn’t want to write a spineless, sexless heroine. (I’ve got big feelings about that, too.) You guys showed up, though, and it’s because of you that I’ve been able to continue writing this series. So thank you, I appreciate you beyond words.

PS: Signed paperbacks are also available!

In 2022, I’m building out my empire…

I Love When Amazon Does This

Amazon is running a sale on River Reapers MC paperbacks!

I love when they do this! As the author, I still get full-price royalties, and my readers get pretty paperbacks at a steal.

A Risky Prospect is currently $10.39 (list price $16.99 USD), and A Fatal Prospect is currently $6.94 (list price $18.99 USD). (This sale is U.S. only.)

I’m not sure exactly why Amazon does this. I’ve heard it could be because their marketing team thinks a book would sell better at a certain price point, so they take it upon themselves to discount it. Or it could be because they needed to clear some space in their warehouse.

No complaints here.

Grab these for your shelves now!

Shop Now

PS: A Disturbing Prospect is free (ebook edition only)! Shop the series at your favorite retailer.

Note: I have no control over Amazon pricing, nor do I know how long this sale will last. Pricing is current as of January 21st.

This post contains affiliate links, meaning if you purchase these items on Amazon through my links, I receive a commission on the sale. My opinions are my own. Please read my privacy policy for more information.

Psycho Love, Italian Shenanigans, and Pure Sunshine

Every month in my newsletter, I give you my recs for what to watch, read, and listen to. Now it’s your turn to tell me your current favorites! Leave a comment and tell me your recs for December.

In case you missed it, here are mine.

What I’m Reading

I just finished the Darkly, Madly duet by Trisha Wolfe, and man, let me tell you, if you like the River Reapers MC series, you’ll like these books, too. In Born, Darkly, you meet serial killer Grayson and criminal psychologist London. Both of them have secrets. Both of them have motives. Both of them are killers. The story ends on a cliffhanger and continues in Born, Madly, which is my favorite of the two. The payoff of this duet is—chef’s kiss—worth the wait. It combines some of my favorite things: psych thrillers, vigilantes, and dark romance.

What I’m Watching

I’ve been watching An Astrological Guide for Broken Hearts, an Italian show on Netflix. It starts a little slow, but it really picks up in episode #3, where the show hits its stride. Each episode is between 30 and 40 minutes long, so it’s really convenient to sneak one or binge episodes. Alice’s ex, who refused to settle down with her, just announced his engagement to and pregnancy with another woman. Understandably bummed, Alice gets drunk and accidentally pitches a show to her network’s new creative director. To her shock, he decides to develop it—and the show is a hit! Behind the scenes, the show’s host teaches her all about the signs, guiding her as she dates men from each zodiac. I have a feeling Alice is about to be torn between her new boss and her new friend, and I am here for it!

This show is so cute, just the lighthearted fun I needed after a long year. I’m watching it with subs, because the dub is terrible (and Italian is too beautiful to waste). Ciao!

What I’m Listening To

After a hiatus, Lorde recently released a new album, Solar Power, and it’s a masterpiece. I love how nostalgic it sounds, blending 90s attitude with the freedom of the 70s and Lorde’s alternately raspy and angelic vocals. It’s laid back, introspective, and full of gorgeous lyrics that resonate with me.

I’m in my own little golden age

Remember what you thought was grief until you got the call

She just released a deluxe edition, and I love the two extra songs. I’ve been listening to this album straight through almost daily, that’s how much I love it.

So those are my favorites for December. Now tell me yours!

This post contains affiliate links, meaning if you purchase these items on Amazon through my links, I receive a commission on the sale. My opinions are my own. Please read my privacy policy for more information.

For the First Time Ever, THE STAIRS BETWEEN US is Only $0.99

My “swoonworthy second chance romance” The Stairs Between Us is on sale for the first time ever! For a limited time, you can get it for only $0.99 (regular $3.99).

They should both walk away, but neither of them can.

It took everything for Noah to leave her husband Levi and his dirty mistress: surgery. One year later, the pressure of raising their son and building her own career is breaking her. It doesn’t help that every time she sees Levi, his touch and presence bring those old feelings racing back, until she shuts them down. She’ll never let Levi break her heart again—or their son’s.

Levi saves other people’s children every day, but he couldn’t save his marriage. Noah left him alone in an empty house and a hole in his heart, with only surgery to keep him going. In order to numb some of the pain she left him in, he decides to sell what used to be their home, but it’s not enough. When two apartments open up, Levi seizes the chance to move upstairs from Noah. He’ll show her that he can be a real father to their son, and prove he’s still the man she fell in love with.

As long as Levi is a doctor, there will always be an emergency taking him away from his family. Guilt is playing tug-o-war with his heart while Noah is strengthening the walls around hers. If Levi can’t walk away from his addiction to work, Noah will walk away forever.

Read Now for Only $0.99

The early morning glow filtered through the blinds—the wrong kind of light. It should’ve tipped me off, but it never did. I rolled onto my side to face him, a hand automatically stretching out. My fingers touched cool sheets.

Empty bed.

No husband.

There were still mornings when I woke, half expecting to find myself in my husband’s house, in our bed. Most mornings, actually. I should’ve been used to it, but somewhere between sleep and the land of the living, my brain kept glitching out.

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself back to that bedroom, to that life. To the person that I was. The velvet inside of my eyelids glowed red from the diffused light, the illusion shattered.

Even though I’d divorced my husband, I still missed him.

Read Chapter 1

Read The Stairs Between Us Now

Only 99 cents for a limited time!

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Paperbacks also available!

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Signed Paperbacks

First Chapter Friday: “Just One More Christmas”

Welcome to First Chapter Friday, where I read the first chapter of one of my books to you! I’m Elizabeth Barone, and this week I’m reading part one of my holiday romance, “Just One More Christmas.”

Follow along here!

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Read “Just One More Christmas” for free | Buy Just One More Minute

Order Elizabeth Barone Paperbacks Now to Beat 2021 Shipping Delays

Heads up if you’re looking to purchase some of my signed paperbacks for the holidays! Between shipping delays and paper shortages, I won’t be able to restock this holiday season. If there’s a book you want, order ASAP via my publishing imprint and shop, Maietta Ink.

Please note:

If a book is listed as on backorder, I won’t be able to reorder it in time for the holidays.For those of you who live outside the U.S., please email me at elizabethbaronebooks@gmail.com, as my website isn’t set up for international orders at this time.

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Join My Review Team

Looking for books? I’m looking for reviewers!

Whether you’re a reader on a budget or a book blogger (big or small), I’d love to have you on my review team!

What’s a review team? Whenever I release a new book, you’ll have first dibs on ARCs (advance reader copy), in exchange for you posting an honest review on sites like Amazon and Goodreads. Because I’m between releases at the moment, we’ll be working through my backlist.

This is good news if you’ve been dying to read my books but haven’t been able to!

In the past, I’ve limited my review team to bloggers only. While bloggers and influencers are still very much welcome, I’m opening my team to all readers.

There are still a few spots open. We’ve started with A Disturbing Prospect.

This is a great way to catch up on my backlist while you’re waiting for my next release. (Especially if you’re unable to get books outside of KU and giveaways!)

If you read on your phone, tablet, or ereader, and can commit to posting a review for each book you accept from me, click here to sign up.

(Never posted a book review before? Check out my tips!)