Cece Meng's Blog, page 2
March 4, 2010
Not crazy
I walked into the kitchen last night at 10:30pm because I heard some sort of commotion. The noise was louder than the scurrying of rodents, thankfully. Yet it wasn't at that mayhem noise level I am most familiar with - that sort of noise usually involves earth-shaking crashes and snarls as my dog and three cats throw a post-steak dinner garbage party on the kitchen floor.
The somewhere-in-between noise ended up being my husband getting himself a snack. Actually, what I interrupted was the...
The somewhere-in-between noise ended up being my husband getting himself a snack. Actually, what I interrupted was the...
January 13, 2010
Vicis Rabbits
The letter started like this: I have never had a bunny in my life because my mom's bunny peed on her lap and so then on she hated bunnies. I like them but they look vicis because they are all shaky.
This letter came home with my son, one of his classmates wrote it in response to the show-and-tell bunny we'd brought in earlier that day. That bunny was scared out of her mind and was definitely shaky. Fortunately, not vicious. But I see the kid's point.
Somehow, I have developed a reputation for ...
December 19, 2009
Mailing it in
I'm shocked my husband and I have any friends left. The problem is, we are tired all the time. And we're forgetful and perpetually overwhelmed. Translation: We're terrible about returning calls, we're too tired to entertain, and our long distance correspondence is nonexistent. The whole gift-giving thing around the holidays pushes us well beyond our capabilities. We once showed up to a holiday dinner at a friend's house, after mentioning we would not be exchanging gifts that year due to a job layoff, to find beautiful gifts waiting for us. It was too late to make a mad dash to a store, so we sucked it up, ate their food, accepted their generosity and left. Awkward.
Our dysfunction originates from the core of our existence. Our home. It's an unfixed fixer-upper with never-ending projects. Environmental chaos. Our happy home is enhanced by a large, big-toothed "crazy-eyed" dog that barks psychotically at every person who has the unfortunate experience of driving down our street. In reality, our dog is afraid of kittens and truly can't jump the picket fence because of an artificial hip and leg injury from an accident that happened before we adopted her. You'll have no trouble at all outrunning her. Plus, once you are safely inside my front door, you will be fed well and offered an assortment of live animals to warm your feet. Not all of them bite.
As I empty our mailbox of holiday cards and letters, I find myself more than a little surprised by the loyalty of my friends. I appreciate their ability to look past the fact that my husband and I seldom remember to send thank you notes or birthday cards. We've never sent out a holiday card with a family update. I don't have a mailing list. Alas, when my cell phone dies, so will the numbers of just about everyone I know. I keep no records, and I'm not much of a numerical memorizer.
I do feel guilty. Perhaps instead of sending out a New Year's card (something I fantasize about doing but I have never actually done), my husband and I should send out a blanket apology letter addressing our negligent behavior over the past two decades. Something like this:
Dear Family and Friend(s):If you are receiving this, it is because we consider you a friend and we recognize that compared to you, our family sucks in the manners department. Perhaps one day we will be able to make it up to you, but please don't hold your breath. In addition to lacking basic organizational skills, we tend to buckle under pressure.
We know that if you have stuck around through our flaky behavior, you must really care about us. Even though we don't always show it, we care about you, too. If you haven't stuck around but are still receiving this letter, it is because we deserve your wrath and disdain, we acknowledge your hurt feelings, and we want to offer you a sincere apology and let you know that we didn't pick on you personally. We treat all our friends like this. And we're sorry.
So here you go, this is an official letter off apology to all we have offended. I'd suggesting keeping it, perhaps even framing it, because it may be another two decades before we get around to doing another one. And, trust me, in two decades we'll owe all of you another one.
Remember the thank you note you got from us for that wonderful gift you sent? No? We want you to know that your gift and gesture was fully appreciated. We loved it, and probably still do love it. Unless it was wine or candy or homemade cookies, then I'm sure we loved it at some point in time, but now it is long gone and if I remember correctly, it was super delicious.
The clothes, scarves, bath robe, hair accessories and jewelry have all been worn and admired. The lotions and scrubs used and appreciated. The gift cards spent and enjoyed. The toys played with by the kids and probably the adults, too.
Mostly, though, we want to offer our support if life is treating you like crap. Those are the calls and cards we most regret not doing. To those of you whom this applies, know we keep you in our thoughts and are always hoping for the best.
For those of you who are wondering about us, here's an update:
Grandma Lonna is still kickin and not taking crap from anyone. The doctors keep telling us she is going to die. It could be any day. Obviously, someone forget to tell Grandma because she is back to chugging around town in her Volvo, moving boulders single-handedly from one end of her garden to the other, and attending her twice a week Yoga class. If you're in her neighborhood, remember to look both ways before you cross the street and run like hell if you see her coming.
Our kids are thriving, and sucking every last penny and bit of energy out of us. Alex is a passionate musician and math whiz. He is taking clarinet lessons. We often start our mornings at 6:00AM to the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad" in the highest octave possible. We wish you were here to enjoy it with us.
Erika is still doing gymnastics, training over twenty hours per week. That doesn't include the physical therapy for her knee or the massage and ice treatments before bed. Somehow, she fits in homework and continues to excel at everything she does. Except for ball sports. If throwing her a ball, please don't aim for the face, because that's usually where the ball hits first before she considers catching it with her hands.
Our family's contribution to society - we are doing our best to help with the water shortage. Our landscaping requires zero water and provides tons of free fertilizer. You guessed it, we still have seven rabbits. They won't die. They have eaten everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in my backyard, to include a peach tree and a lemon tree. My idea for making Tur-rabbit on Thanksgiving was vetoed by the rest of the family. Bummer, because I'm pretty sure I could have fit three rabbit carcasses inside the twenty-five pound turkey I cooked. I would have found a way.
We hope this nonexistent letter, that will never be mailed, and perhaps would be seen as the biggest offense from our well-meaning little family, finds you well and happy. Dear friends, know you are loved and appreciated, and we'd like to wish all of you a wonderful 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015...
Our dysfunction originates from the core of our existence. Our home. It's an unfixed fixer-upper with never-ending projects. Environmental chaos. Our happy home is enhanced by a large, big-toothed "crazy-eyed" dog that barks psychotically at every person who has the unfortunate experience of driving down our street. In reality, our dog is afraid of kittens and truly can't jump the picket fence because of an artificial hip and leg injury from an accident that happened before we adopted her. You'll have no trouble at all outrunning her. Plus, once you are safely inside my front door, you will be fed well and offered an assortment of live animals to warm your feet. Not all of them bite.
As I empty our mailbox of holiday cards and letters, I find myself more than a little surprised by the loyalty of my friends. I appreciate their ability to look past the fact that my husband and I seldom remember to send thank you notes or birthday cards. We've never sent out a holiday card with a family update. I don't have a mailing list. Alas, when my cell phone dies, so will the numbers of just about everyone I know. I keep no records, and I'm not much of a numerical memorizer.
I do feel guilty. Perhaps instead of sending out a New Year's card (something I fantasize about doing but I have never actually done), my husband and I should send out a blanket apology letter addressing our negligent behavior over the past two decades. Something like this:
Dear Family and Friend(s):If you are receiving this, it is because we consider you a friend and we recognize that compared to you, our family sucks in the manners department. Perhaps one day we will be able to make it up to you, but please don't hold your breath. In addition to lacking basic organizational skills, we tend to buckle under pressure.
We know that if you have stuck around through our flaky behavior, you must really care about us. Even though we don't always show it, we care about you, too. If you haven't stuck around but are still receiving this letter, it is because we deserve your wrath and disdain, we acknowledge your hurt feelings, and we want to offer you a sincere apology and let you know that we didn't pick on you personally. We treat all our friends like this. And we're sorry.
So here you go, this is an official letter off apology to all we have offended. I'd suggesting keeping it, perhaps even framing it, because it may be another two decades before we get around to doing another one. And, trust me, in two decades we'll owe all of you another one.
Remember the thank you note you got from us for that wonderful gift you sent? No? We want you to know that your gift and gesture was fully appreciated. We loved it, and probably still do love it. Unless it was wine or candy or homemade cookies, then I'm sure we loved it at some point in time, but now it is long gone and if I remember correctly, it was super delicious.
The clothes, scarves, bath robe, hair accessories and jewelry have all been worn and admired. The lotions and scrubs used and appreciated. The gift cards spent and enjoyed. The toys played with by the kids and probably the adults, too.
Mostly, though, we want to offer our support if life is treating you like crap. Those are the calls and cards we most regret not doing. To those of you whom this applies, know we keep you in our thoughts and are always hoping for the best.
For those of you who are wondering about us, here's an update:
Grandma Lonna is still kickin and not taking crap from anyone. The doctors keep telling us she is going to die. It could be any day. Obviously, someone forget to tell Grandma because she is back to chugging around town in her Volvo, moving boulders single-handedly from one end of her garden to the other, and attending her twice a week Yoga class. If you're in her neighborhood, remember to look both ways before you cross the street and run like hell if you see her coming.
Our kids are thriving, and sucking every last penny and bit of energy out of us. Alex is a passionate musician and math whiz. He is taking clarinet lessons. We often start our mornings at 6:00AM to the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad" in the highest octave possible. We wish you were here to enjoy it with us.
Erika is still doing gymnastics, training over twenty hours per week. That doesn't include the physical therapy for her knee or the massage and ice treatments before bed. Somehow, she fits in homework and continues to excel at everything she does. Except for ball sports. If throwing her a ball, please don't aim for the face, because that's usually where the ball hits first before she considers catching it with her hands.
Our family's contribution to society - we are doing our best to help with the water shortage. Our landscaping requires zero water and provides tons of free fertilizer. You guessed it, we still have seven rabbits. They won't die. They have eaten everything, and I mean EVERYTHING in my backyard, to include a peach tree and a lemon tree. My idea for making Tur-rabbit on Thanksgiving was vetoed by the rest of the family. Bummer, because I'm pretty sure I could have fit three rabbit carcasses inside the twenty-five pound turkey I cooked. I would have found a way.
We hope this nonexistent letter, that will never be mailed, and perhaps would be seen as the biggest offense from our well-meaning little family, finds you well and happy. Dear friends, know you are loved and appreciated, and we'd like to wish all of you a wonderful 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015...
December 15, 2009
Ants In My Pants
Killing ants is a mesmerizing activity. I find, for instant ant killing, Fantastic spray works fantastically. Except that it gives my husband a headache. The smell of the spray, not the ant killing itself. We're both all-for ant killing. This month alone, I've killed thousands. I hate ants. They are coming in through the cracks in our kitchen tile grout. It's like watching a miniature horror film.
It has been a challenging month, ant-wise. We've made gingerbread creations dripped with...
It has been a challenging month, ant-wise. We've made gingerbread creations dripped with...
December 9, 2009
The Dark Side of Funny
Someone asked me the other day if the humor in my books is something I have to work at or if it is always there. "Always there," I replied without hesitation. It's how I think and process everything that goes on around me - by grabbing onto the funny and hanging on for dear life. I'm not sure how happily optimistic people can be funny. They're too busy being happy. The funny people I know are often tortured people who are trying to survive Bad decisions and Unexpected embarrassment and...
December 4, 2009
My Word Cleanse
My silence is related not to the busy holidays, but to my accomplishment of writing over 50,000 words in the month of November. I did it. I had never met NaNoWriMo until November 1st, but I am grateful. So grateful, that I made my donation, ordered a travel mug, AND grabbed up a winner t-shirt before they sold out. The guy said to hurry, that they were going to sell out. Then I noticed they still had t-shirts left over from the previous years. Hmmm. Nothing worse than a marketing professional...
My Word Enima
My silence, of course, is related not to the holidays, but to my accomplishment of writing over 50,000 words in the month of November. I did it. I had never met NaNoWriMo until November 1st, but I am grateful. So grateful, that I made my donation, ordered a travel mug, AND grabbed up a winner t-shirt before they sold out. The guy said to hurry, that they were going to sell out. Then I noticed they still had t-shirts left over from the previous years. Hmmm. Nothing worse than a marketing profe...
November 10, 2009
I Should be Writing
I'm 3,000 words behind in the NanoWriMo - National Novel Writing Month - thingy. I've been reduced to using words like thingy. I shouldn't even be writing this, I should be working on that novel. My life revolves around baking chocolate brownies, eating chocolate brownies, and noveling. Novel writing is fattening.
I have no outline, I'm totally winging it. I'm a picture book writer, people. My books have less than 800 words! There are special punishments for writers in my profession that have ...
November 5, 2009
An Adventure in Writing
Somehow I got sucked into the National Novel Writing Month project, known as NaNoWriMo, by my evil writing friends. I am behind in my daily word count requirement, but I have hopes of catching up this weekend. Basically, the goal is to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. As a result, I won't be blogging much, if at all. Except perhaps to complain. My friends, this is insanity.
I did take time out of my writing to see my doctor for a physical. In my house, getting a...
October 20, 2009
The Cookie Ban
I have forbidden a certain grandparent (Grandma Lonna) from feeding my children cookies. The whole cookie thing just got out of control. First it was holiday-theme cookies. I was fine with that. Then it was the cookies shoved relentlessly down my kids' throats when we'd stop by for a visit. A little irritating, but I was able to manage.
But that just wasn't enough for grandma. Her cookie compulsion soon evolved into the shameless stuffing of cookies into my kids' pockets and hands and mouths a...
But that just wasn't enough for grandma. Her cookie compulsion soon evolved into the shameless stuffing of cookies into my kids' pockets and hands and mouths a...
