Hal Johnson's Blog, page 24

Terrible punning conundra

[My absurd, filthy, pun-laden novel Sudden Glory is only $0.99 on Kindle this week. Snap it up while “supplies” “last”! Test-read the first three chapters here.]

The conundra.

1. Q: Who boasts too much Gen X ennui
To order wings at KFC?

2. Q.: How are the sides of a triangle like Belle’s looks?

3. Q.: What kind of yams learn from painful experience to cultivate their garden?

4. Q.: Why do earrings fit into neutered kine on a jetty?

5. Q.: What is a Muslim’s favorite kind of anime?

6. Q.: What popular c...

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Miller/Janson!

A garland of quotations LXII

Perhaps you like books?

It is supposed to be difficult to understand Hegel, but to understand Abraham is a small matter. To go beyond Hegel is a miraculous achievement, but to go beyond Abraham is the easiest of all. I for my part have applied considerable time to understanding Hegelian philosophy and believe that I have understood it fairly well; I am sufficiently brash to think that when I cannot understand particular passages despite all my pains, he himself may not have been entirely clear. A...

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Ayers/Trimpe/Giacola!

(Thanks to Carlo Fortunato!)

A garland of quotations LXI

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Every ornament of perfection, and every labour of love,
In all the Gardens of Eden, & in all the golden mountains
Was become an envied horror, and a remembrance of jealousy:
And every Act a Crime, and Albion the punisher & judge.
•William Blake, Jerusalem (1820).

Do they wear “new shoes”—in “Eden”—
Is it always pleasant—there—
Won’t they scold us—when we’re homesick—
Or tell God—how cross we are—
•Emily Dickinson, “What is—‘Paradise’” (c. 1860).

And already there is a si...

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Swan/Klein!

(Thanks to John Wells!)

A garland of quotations LX

PREORDER!

PREORDER!!

PREORDER!!!

PREORDER!!!!

(too late)

As art sinks into paralysis, artists multiply. This anomaly ceases to be one if we realizes that art, on its way to exhaustion, has become both impossible and easy.
•E. M. Cioran, The Trouble with Being Born (1973).

Rome rose with the idiom of Caesar, Ovid, and Tacitus, she declined in a welter of rhetoric, the diplomat’s “language to conceal thought,” and so forth. ¶The man of understanding can no more sit quiet and resigned while his country le...

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Simon/Kirby!

A garland of quotations LIX

I am once again appealing to you

to buy one of these books

So clamorous was their applause—
“His mind” (said they) “is free of flaws:
The Veil of God is thin as gauze!”—

That almost they had dulled or drowned
The laughter (in its belly bound)
Of that dread Beast he had not found.
•Aleister Crowley, The High History of Good Sir Palamedes the Saracen Knight and of his Following of the Questing Beast (1912).

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedWhile some discuss if near t...

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The King, baby! (w/Giacoia!)