Johnny Walker's Blog: My blog, page 6
October 13, 2013
"Perfect for readers who enjoy reading for fun."EKKO Revi...
"Perfect for readers who enjoy reading for fun."EKKO Reviews @ http://www.ekkomysteries.com/reviews/
October 11, 2013
Five APPs I’d like to see arrive – and soon. (Mature Humo...
Five APPs I’d like to see arrive – and soon. (Mature Humor)
If you spend any time online, you’ve seen bootstrappists offering a plethora of new ways to communicate. Faster. Quicker. Do more with less. It’s no longer a matter of shoving ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag; it’s now ten minutes of thoughts crammed into a two second video, or even better, make it all happen with the touch of an APP. Being someone who spends the majority his day in front of a desk, the following suggestions for APPs would definitely make my day faster, quicker, and, without a doubt... much more enjoyable.
# 1 Time Vampire APP:It’s no secret we use YouTube for just about everything. Even though the program you just downloaded comes with a 72 page PDF and seven thousand forum topics, the quickest way to learn the new program is, yep, you guessed it; YouTube. That said, there’s an increase in scammers posting videos that rip through a presentation with no sound or instructions, or even better, you’ll catch a fake image of Britney Spears tits. Now that you’ve wasted your time, don’t waste any more time signing in to warn others. Simply tag this looser with the infamous ‘Time Vampire’ APP, informing other viewers that, well, they suck.
# 2 Insect APP:An APP that allows you to place an insect on the monitor. By using this APP, I might not stop the video every time one of those Hasselhack bimbos opens their yap, but instead, I might listen to the spoon-fed nonsense—if I could just place a black spider on top of her head. Something as simple as a black beetle would save my retinas from the nuclear explosion every time Kelly Rippa beams her neon smile across the airwaves.
# 3 Shock the dog walker APP: (mobile APP for break time) Every time I see someone dragging their dog down the street, scraping the pooch across the pavement while they’re yakking on the phone, I’d enjoy an APP that emits a shock wave to the person holding the leash. When they tremble and drop the phone, I think the dog would grin a bit, too. (Repeat module optional.)
# 4 The Cockroachin APP:This APP would resemble the flaccid penis of a hyena. Use this APP to replace someone’s social profile, reminding you that every article they post is about superficial nonsense. There’s nothing wrong with spreading vanity and greed. Our Congress makes a habit of it. There’s even a family of bottom-feeding Cockroachians that have made millions by hacking our airwaves with a reality show, filled with worthless human qualities. By spotting this little place marker, you could save yourself the agony of trying to relate to the mentality of a parasite.
And finally (for this list anyway)
# 5 The Scent APP:It’s about time we added scents and aromas to the APP world. This could be really handy when you receive emails such as: * How to write a book in 2 days. * You’ve been selected. * What the President doesn’t want you to know. Of course a snapshot plug-in would be a great addition to this APP, to capture the look of shock when the bogus entrepreneur opens my response and a rancid fart discharges my reply, but hey, one APP at a time here.
While I would never wish anyone any real harm, there are times when hitting the ‘Thumbs Down’ button just doesn’t cut it. If anyone out there is so inclined to build these APPs, I’ll be your first customer.
If you spend any time online, you’ve seen bootstrappists offering a plethora of new ways to communicate. Faster. Quicker. Do more with less. It’s no longer a matter of shoving ten pounds of crap in a five pound bag; it’s now ten minutes of thoughts crammed into a two second video, or even better, make it all happen with the touch of an APP. Being someone who spends the majority his day in front of a desk, the following suggestions for APPs would definitely make my day faster, quicker, and, without a doubt... much more enjoyable.
# 1 Time Vampire APP:It’s no secret we use YouTube for just about everything. Even though the program you just downloaded comes with a 72 page PDF and seven thousand forum topics, the quickest way to learn the new program is, yep, you guessed it; YouTube. That said, there’s an increase in scammers posting videos that rip through a presentation with no sound or instructions, or even better, you’ll catch a fake image of Britney Spears tits. Now that you’ve wasted your time, don’t waste any more time signing in to warn others. Simply tag this looser with the infamous ‘Time Vampire’ APP, informing other viewers that, well, they suck.
# 2 Insect APP:An APP that allows you to place an insect on the monitor. By using this APP, I might not stop the video every time one of those Hasselhack bimbos opens their yap, but instead, I might listen to the spoon-fed nonsense—if I could just place a black spider on top of her head. Something as simple as a black beetle would save my retinas from the nuclear explosion every time Kelly Rippa beams her neon smile across the airwaves.
# 3 Shock the dog walker APP: (mobile APP for break time) Every time I see someone dragging their dog down the street, scraping the pooch across the pavement while they’re yakking on the phone, I’d enjoy an APP that emits a shock wave to the person holding the leash. When they tremble and drop the phone, I think the dog would grin a bit, too. (Repeat module optional.)
# 4 The Cockroachin APP:This APP would resemble the flaccid penis of a hyena. Use this APP to replace someone’s social profile, reminding you that every article they post is about superficial nonsense. There’s nothing wrong with spreading vanity and greed. Our Congress makes a habit of it. There’s even a family of bottom-feeding Cockroachians that have made millions by hacking our airwaves with a reality show, filled with worthless human qualities. By spotting this little place marker, you could save yourself the agony of trying to relate to the mentality of a parasite.
And finally (for this list anyway)
# 5 The Scent APP:It’s about time we added scents and aromas to the APP world. This could be really handy when you receive emails such as: * How to write a book in 2 days. * You’ve been selected. * What the President doesn’t want you to know. Of course a snapshot plug-in would be a great addition to this APP, to capture the look of shock when the bogus entrepreneur opens my response and a rancid fart discharges my reply, but hey, one APP at a time here.
While I would never wish anyone any real harm, there are times when hitting the ‘Thumbs Down’ button just doesn’t cut it. If anyone out there is so inclined to build these APPs, I’ll be your first customer.
October 4, 2013
August 22, 2013
Thank you Pensacola Paracon! Your convention was a blast!...
Thank you Pensacola Paracon! Your convention was a blast! There were tons of awesome costumes, high energy people, and great music. Thanks for being so receptive to EKKO Mysteries!
August 14, 2013
&...
Just a few more days till the gates are open....July 14, 2013
Hey Pensacola,This should be a blast...
Hey Pensacola,This should be a blast...
June 18, 2013
Newly released and professionally edited. (Finally) :)
Proud to say that the EKKO series has been overhauled. New covers, story structure, professional editing... it's a whole new day for EKKO.
During the reconstruction, Thirty 6 Black Bees has been renamed to fit the series, Book two is now titled, Black Coffee, which will be followed by Blue Violin.
Black Coffee is the official book 2 of the series.
Big thanks to goodreads.
During the reconstruction, Thirty 6 Black Bees has been renamed to fit the series, Book two is now titled, Black Coffee, which will be followed by Blue Violin.
Black Coffee is the official book 2 of the series.
Big thanks to goodreads.
June 6, 2013
EKKO Mysteries Official Release June 19, 2013!  ...
EKKO Mysteries Official Release June 19, 2013!
For the past six months we've been rebuilding.
Professional Editing, Cover Designs, Integrating Music, and a whole list of other features.
The team of professionals helping out have added so much to the EKKO Mysteries Series. It goes without saying that we are fortunate, excited, and most appreciative. We hope you like the new look of EKKO, not to mention the terrific products hitting the airwaves this June.
As always, thank you for your support.
Further information:
www.CICPublishing.com
www.NathanJuju.com
Can I get a 'Hell yeah" out there!
For the past six months we've been rebuilding.
Professional Editing, Cover Designs, Integrating Music, and a whole list of other features.
The team of professionals helping out have added so much to the EKKO Mysteries Series. It goes without saying that we are fortunate, excited, and most appreciative. We hope you like the new look of EKKO, not to mention the terrific products hitting the airwaves this June.
As always, thank you for your support.
Further information:
www.CICPublishing.com
www.NathanJuju.com
Can I get a 'Hell yeah" out there!
