Kathleen Patel's Blog, page 9

To All The Writers Who Change Lives

I've never met these great writers and I probably never will.  But one thing is for certain; they changed my life forever.   Growing up in a middle class suburb in the Midwest, life was pretty bland.  At times my childhood was a bit sad.  But then something happened that rocked my world.  I learned to read.
When it all finally 'clicked' and I was able to comprehend the letters on the page and read the stories, the world was mine!  
Thanks to Rudyard Kipling and his 'Jungle Book', I could travel to India.  I was dazzled by Mowgli and his family of wolves.  I could see the jungle and became acquainted with all the characters- lovable or not.  I was enchanted.  Mr. Kipling took me away to another world. 
Then there was 'One Thousand and One Nights'.  This book of stories featured some of the most well-known tales in history. Its origins are in ancient Persia and India. Happily these stories were illustrated.   The illustration gave me a deeper understanding of these new experiences.  Ali -Baba and the Forty Thieves showed me fascinating aspects of daily life in ancient Persia and amazed me with opulent jewels and rugs.  And of course, no one ever forgets the magic words, "Open sesame". 


Then there was the less exotic, but nonetheless exciting Nancy Drew -She was created by Edward Stratemeyer, but the books have been ghostwritten by a number of authors and are published under the collective pseudonym Carolyn Keene. 
 Everyone wanted to be Nancy Drew.  She was smart, fearless and cool.  She was wealthy.  In the words of Bobbie Ann Mason, "At sixteen she 'had studied psychology in school and was familiar with the power of suggestion and association.' Nancy was a fine painter, spoke French, and had frequently run motor boats. She was a skilled driver who at sixteen 'flashed into the garage with a skill born of long practice.' The prodigy was a sure shot, an excellent swimmer, skillful oarsman, expert seamstress, gourmet cook, and a fine bridge player. Nancy brilliantly played tennis and golf, and rode like a cowboy. Nancy danced like Ginger Rogers and could administer first aid like the Mayo brothers"I'm in good company when I say that Nancy Drew has influenced my life.  That is also true for Supreme Court Justices Sandra Day O'Connor[9] and Sonia Sotomayor as well as Senator  Hillary Rodham Clinton[10] and former First Lady Laura Bush
But I have to say that my absolute favorite series was 'Trixie Belden'.   The series was originated by Julie Campbell who wrote the first six books. Trixie Belden was a teenage girl who lived at Crabapple Farm in New York with her family.  She's not gorgeous.  She has freckles and curly hair that frustrates her. But she is smart, brave and adventurous.  She saved her brothers life,  she befriended and rescued a runaway boy, she helped a sickly rich girl, she has a big heart and is always up for a challenge. She even formed a club with her close friends, called the Bob-Whites. And she can solve a mystery like no one else.

Later as an adult, Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt was a brilliant illustration of the poverty that many endured at that time in Ireland.  My own mother sometimes spoke of "not knowing where their next meal would come from" and many times after a meal she will say,"Well, as your grandfather would say, we're sure of that one."  I understood that it was a hard life, but reading Mr. McCourt's story caused me to feel that pain so deeply that I cried.  It gave me a profound understanding and respect for what my ancestors battled and survived.  

Coming to current days, I reluctantly found myself addicted to the Twilight Saga.  I didn't want to- I thought it was for kids.  But Stephenie Meyer was able to write stories that crossed generations and appealed to everyone from seven year old children to middle aged women and everything in between and beyond. It's a phenomenon really.  These are stories that create a bond with me and my young nieces and nephews.  From the beauty of Forks, Seattle to the diamond- like skin of the vampires.  I could see it all so clearly.  When the movies came out, I almost felt like I had already seen them. 

As a writer of fiction, I am in awe of these and the many other gifted writers that bring magic and light to their readers.  These and countless other amazing writers changed my life.  They opened my mind to new cultures and different lifestyles beyond my own small universe.  I believe that this made me a more accepting person. It took away the fear of people and things that were 'different' and replaced it with curiosity.  It gave me a desire to travel the world and experience all these new worlds firsthand.    I thank you all.  You have changed the universe.
My dream is that I will be able to open new worlds for my readers-even if only in a small way.
HirensMagical Adventure 

Your Pet Can Save Your Life

I think we can all agree that nothing warms your heart more than the unconditional love a pet provides.  I can't help but smile when I come home and my little dog jumps and spins with happiness while he tries to shower me with kisses.  There's been  a lot of information recently on the health benefits one can reap just by spending time with a furry companion. 


 First of all, there are all the studies that have shown that spending time with a pet can improve your  health. There have been several long term scientific studies to prove that pets can dramatically loweryour blood pressure.  Way back in 1980, the State University of New York at Buffalo conducted a large study on pets and individuals who had high blood pressure.  The results were impressive.

Even the Center for Disease Control recommends pets!  According to their research, pets can decrease your:
    Blood pressure
    Cholesterol levels
    Triglyceride levels
    Feelings of lonelinessPets can increase your:

    Opportunities for exercise and outdoor activities
    Opportunities for socialization

In addition to this, pets can play a pivotal role in the recovery of a serious illness.  There are now many organizations that provide pet visits to hospitals and nursing homes.  Sometimes the love of a pet is enough to keep a patient strong and can energize their fight for life.  Sometimes the inability to care for that pet, and ultimate loss of the pet can have the opposite effect.  Many people are forced to give up their pets when they become ill or are going through a health crisis.

I recently met an extraordinary woman by the name of Ann Marie Schrage-Glaviano.  She went through a horrendous experience fighting Lupus.  Ann Marie was lucky because she had a large support system.  She had great friends that volunteered to help her through this battle.  Not many people are as fortunate.   This journey included months of chemotherapy and two strokes.  Ann Marie fought hard and won. 

Then Ann Marie had a vision. "Autoimmune mediated and other serious illnesses rob us of the only thing we truly possess, that being, time together. Pets are family, love as family, live as family. None should ever be left behind in any disaster. Disability is not a choice!" exclaims Ann Marie. Having a life long passion for pets combined with her personal experience in a life threatening illness inspired her to create PetsNPatients.  Ann Marie has organized a national network of volunteers that can assist in caring for a pet when the owner is going through a health crisis.  I don't have any scientific statistics but I can say from my heart that Ann Marie has probably saved many lives- human as well as pets.

If you're interested in getting your pet involved in a pet therapy program, here is a list of local organizations.

In my opinion, nothing can make you feel better than doing something to help others.

An extraordinary love

When I read about the American Inspired contest it only took a moment for me to think of the one person who really deserves this award. Richard Weiner. I wrote this story because I felt he deserved to win.  Unfortunately today I discovered that he didn't make it into the finalist category.  So- in honor of Rich- I want to tell his story once again.

Rich works as a firefighter and policeman. Yes, he is a brave public servant, but he's much more than that.

About twelve years ago, Rich opened the door to his Northbrook home and took in some innocent pets that were in need.  They were Birds-mostly the large breeds.
It all started when Rich realized that there were so many of these highly intelligent birds that desperately needed life-long, loving homes.   One might not give it a second thought, when you think of birds and their intelligence.  But once you spend some time with these birds, you realize that not only are they incredibly smart, but they are extremely loving and affectionate.  In fact, they nick-named the Cockatoo breed as "Velcro Birds" because they love nothing more than cuddling up and getting some love.

But there is also a flip side to this.   Because they are so intelligent and sensitive, when they are ignored; not given enough attention and love, they develop some negative defense mechanisms.  Like humans, they can start self-mutilating.  Some birds continually pull out all their feathers, others actually peck at their skin until they have open wounds that will not/can not heal.  It's very sad. Sometimes these birds have been damaged beyond repair.  Rich makes sure they have a safe and happy home for the rest of their lives.

Rich began as a parrot parent, with an African Grey, Prince, who was followed by an Umbrella Cockatoo, Ninja.  Before long, he began taking in other homeless birds, from friends, business associates and from local veterinarians.  Soon, Rich had a house full of birds.  I mean wall to wall bird cages creating a symphony of cheerful chirping, talking and squawking in every room.
This is how 'Rescue the birds.' came to be.  According to Rich, "A Refuge for Saving the Wildlife, Inc. is a rescue, retirement, and adoption facility for exotic birds.  We offer birds a stable and loving home for the duration of their natural lives.  We do not sell or breed birds.  Some of the birds at the Refuge have "special needs," including a range of physical handicaps or other challenges requiring unique living or feeding arrangements.  Others have been bounced from home to home, often being physically and/or emotionally abused and have simply become too fearful of people to be "pets" any longer.  We now have eight permanent Psittacine residents and a red-tailed hawk.
A Refuge for Saving the Wildlife, Inc. also is home to a number of loving, healthy and contented birds whose owners brought them here when life changes precluded the continuation of their caring for their beloved pets.  These owners believe that the stability and ongoing responsible care provided by our facility, along with the with companionship of both people and other birds, is preferable to the possibility of their former companions being shuffled from home to home with no guarantees of responsible care or proper conditions."

It's expensive to run the refuge.  The birds are very well cared for.  Everything from Vet visits to the right healthy diet.  The balanced diet provided for the birds includes pelleted bird food, as well as fresh fruit and vegetables in season, frozen mixed vegetables, beans, pastas.  The cost of running the refuge is over $5000 per year.  Plus there is a lot of work involved in cleaning, grooming, cleaning... There are no paid employees here.  There is a small group of dedicated volunteers and of course, Karen Weiner, Rich's lovely wife. Here's a video of the refuge.

Rich relies on donations and does a few fundraising events every year.  In this economy animal rescue organizations have been hit particularly hard.  Donations are down, and more and more people are forced to give up their pets. One has to wonder how much Rich donates from his own pocket.  He won't tell.  He's just that kind of guy.  A real hero.

Lift your spirits

Many people feel a bit let down at this time of year.  Maybe it's all those expectations for the holiday season, along with the added stress.  Sometimes it just accentuates any feelings of sadness or loneliness.  Whatever the case may be, you are not alone and there is help out there.  You don't even need a prescription.  It's a new day and the answer be in your spirituality.

Spirituality is a term that is tossed around quite a bit these days.  Many people are not clear on the definition of spirituality.  Even if you check the Merriam-Webster dictionary  you will find that there are a few different interpretations. The definition that makes the most sense to me is, "Joined in spirit".   There have been several studies that have proven both physical as well as mental benefits to including spirituality in your life.

The term "joined in spirit" may seem confusing.  I know it was confusing to me, learning as a child and even as an adult I wasn't completely clear on that.  But one day I saw a video that illustrated perfectly how we are all one in God- the universe- or whatever your perception may be.  There were thousands of birds flying in formation- creating designs in the sky.  Like a perfect ballet. To me- I realized that we are all part of God- all living creatures- all connected.  Please see this video and tell me if you don't feel it.


Researchers at the University of Manitoba examined a link between religious attendance and attempted suicide.   This health survey was based on 37,000 respondents. Dan Rasic, the studies principal author found that, "Those who attended church at least once a year had decreased rates of suicide."   Some believe that the attendance of these services enable people to feel as though they are part of the community as less isolated. Some believe there is a powerful synergy when groups of people gather and pray.


Although people have found comfort in prayer and other spiritual for thousands of years, the scientific proof is relatively new.. Based on research dating back several years, it's been found that spirituality can give hope, act as an antidepressant and even help to cure serious illnesses like heart disease and cancer.   In fact, researchers have found that spirituality and the practice of religion may slow the ravages of Alzheimer's disease.  These findings were actually presented at The American Academy of Neurology 57th Annual Meeting in Miami Beach, Florida back in April of 2005.

In May of 2004 the National Center for Health released findings of a survey involving 31,000 people using prayer and complementary and alternative therapies.  Prayer was the most popular of all the "therapies".  The results were astounding. Catherine Stoney, Ph.D, a Program Officer at the NCAAM noted, "There is already some preliminary evidence that religious affiliation and religious practices are associated with health and mortality- in other words, with better health and longer life."
 
Many researchers agree that there are strong connections between the mind, the spirit and the body.  Spirituality doesn't have to include going to a church or other houses of worship.  Spirituality can be found in many ways.  Some find spirituality in meditation, yoga or even a support group.



Spirituality is a very individual, personal endeavor- but definitely one worth pursuing.

eBook Addict: Review: Hirens Magical Adventure

eBook Addict: Review: Hirens Magical Adventure

New Years Resolutions

The good ole "New Years Resolution'.  How it has evolved.  Almost as though it has a life of its own. It- like I- has become older and wiser.  It has matured and its value system is different than it was ten years ago.  It is kinder and gentler.
For many years it could be quite cruel.  Making promises it couldn't keep.  Almost setting me up for failure.  It put an emphasis on vanity and materialistic goods; losing weight, working out seven days a week,  giving up carbs permanently, making way more money... They were tough demands and even though I gave them the "old college try", inevitably I would fail.

But now it's different.  Sure, I want to be at a healthy weight and I will resolve to stay fit and work out at least three times a week.  But more importantly my resolutions will revolve around the priorities in my current life.  Things that matter in the big picture of life.  Spending more time helping others, fighting for my causes.  

I'm going to resolve to stay positive and not let negativity have the upper hand. There's something so comfortable and familiar about being negative: "These politicians are all crooks, I don't know how the economy will ever recover." or when you hear of the horrors and crimes against innocent lives, "What is happening to the world? Where is God? It doesn't make any sense." 

I think I will give up watching the news. I believe that watching the news is unhealthy.  I would like to have a daily summary of the headlines- minus the crime and cruelty.  Okay, I could be really negative here and say, "Then what news would be left?" But I won't.  I'm going to stop watching the news. It's so slanted anyway. (Was that negative?)

I'm going to keep writing my fiction books and I will keep them fun, but I will always include a lesson.  A lesson in acceptance and love. 

Acceptance and love is really all we need to change the world.

And I will pray to God that my work will make a difference. Even if only for one life. 

Happy New Year to all and may 2012 be the best ever!

Facebook Launches Suicide Prevention Tool- Bullying Epidemic!

Bullying and youth suicide has become a popular topic today.  It seems as though every week there are new stories of the tragic deaths of children and teens who were tormented by their peers.

Now, Facebook has even taken steps to try to help those who may be having suicidal thoughts. The company introduced changes that allow any user to highlight content from a friend or acquaintance they believe may be the result of suicidal thoughts or behaviour. Once the user highlights the content, the person who posted it will receive a direct link to a private, online chat session with a counsellor.

Facebook will then email the user in distress a direct link for a private online chat with a crisis representative from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline as well as the group's phone number.

According to Reuters, the new tool gives people who may not be comfortable picking up the phone a direct avenue to seek help.
"This was a natural progression from something we've been working on for a long time," Wolens said.
It's important that there is a finally a growing awareness of this rising epidemic in bullying. Education is the key.   Everyone needs to be aware of the signs of bullying and what to do when you spot a situation.  That is why I wrote a short handbook that I am giving away- free of charge.  You can get your free copy here.

Do you know that there are different types of bullying?

Physical Bullies
This includes hitting or kicking the victim.  Also taking or damaging the victim's property. This is the most obvious type of bullying because it is so easy to spot. Physical bullies are usually known to the entire population in the school.


Verbal Bullies
Verbal bullies use words to hurt or humiliate another person. This would include name-calling, insulting, making racist comments and teasing. This type of bullying is the easiest to inflict on other children. It can be done quickly and on the sly.  Its effects can be more devastating than physical bullying, because these scars stay with you forever.

Relational Bullies
Relational or relationship bullies try to convince their peers to exclude or reject a certain person or people and cut the victims off from their social connections. This type of bullying is linked to verbal bullying and usually occurs when children (most often girls) spread nasty rumors about others or exclude an ex-friend from the peer group. The most devastating effect with this type of bullying is the rejection by the peer group at a time when children most need their social connections.
For more on types of bullying click here.

This could be a great opportunity to open the dialog with the children in your life:

Can you identify the type of bullying in the scenarios below?

This is a situation where Ally and Bella are playing and then Jenny asks them if she can play too.  Ally and Bella roll their eyes and tell Jenny that she can not play with them.
 
This is hurtful and Jenny will feel that she is being left out or ostracized.
This is relational bullying.

Here's another situation where Bobby and Nick think it's really funny to hide Jimmy's coat.  Jimmy asks them if they know where it is, but they will not tell him.  Jimmy is upset.  He has to go to recess, in the cold, with no coat.  Plus, he will get in trouble at home when he must tell his parents that he lost his coat. 

This is cruel and humiliating. 
This is physical bullying.

In this situation Jenny walks in the bathroom and finds Ally and Bella combing their hair.  Jenny says, "Hi." and Ally and Bella ignore her and then Ally says, "Why are your sleeves rolled up Jenny- it's winter!" and then Ally and Bella laugh at Jenny.  Jenny leaves the bathroom in tears.  She will be upset all day and have a hard time sleeping that night.  She is humiliated and hurt. 

This is hurtful and humiliating.  It is very mean to make fun of someone and laugh at them.
This is verbal bullying.

Another situation could be where Bobby and Nick are playing on the basketball team and they never pass the ball to Jimmy-even when Jimmy is in the perfect position and he's open to catch the ball.

This is wrong.  It is hurtful and mean to exclude Jimmy. Everyone deserves their turn.
 This is relational bullying.

In life- not just sports- we must realize that we only win when we are team players.  When we work together as a team we always succeed.  We all need to treat each other with kindness and love.
God said, "Treat others as you would want to be treated."  So before you do something mean or thoughtless to someone- think of how you would feel if they did the same to you?

Here are some random facts about bullies:

Even though a bully will insult their victim and try to ridicule the way the victim looks, the fact is- most bullies are unattractive. And even if they were attractive, they would still look ugly because of their ugly behavior.

The purpose of bullying is to hide the fact that they are not very smart.  In reality, they are weak and incompetent.  They want to take all attention away from their inadequacy.  Even though the bully puts on a big show, with the ability to attract and intimidate many followers, bullies have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and thus feel insecure. Low self-esteem is a factor proven in all studies of bullying.

Bullies operate on resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger, and often have wide-ranging prejudices against anyone who is different. Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy. Rejection is another powerful motivator of bullying.

Today, bullying behaviors at school are recognized as dangerous and harmful acts that victimize the targeted student and bystanders. Bullying can no longer be dismissed as harmless teasing.  Bullying is a pattern of deliberate, negative, hurtful, aggressive acts that works to shift the balance of physical, emotional, or social power.  This is a hate crime.  Yes a crime.

They are currently working on legislature to pass laws that will ensure if someone if convicted of bullying, as a child, they will go to a juvenile detention facility or if they are a teenager or adult, they will most likely be tried as an adult and go to prison.

If you are or have been a victim of a bully, you are in good company.  Some famous people who have been bullied include:
Lady GagaRobert Patterson- yes, Edward from TwilightKristen Stewart- Bella from TwilightTaylor Lautner- Jacob from TwilightDaniel Radcliffe- star of Harry Potter moviesEmma Watson- the star from the Harry Potter moviesMiley CyrusPrince HarryKate MiddletonMichael PhelpsChristine AguilaraChris RockPierce Brosnan- that's James BondBill Clinton- a former president of the United StatesTiger WoodsDemi LovatoRhiannaTaylor SwiftJustin TimberlakeSo, please keep your eyes open.  Whether you are a student or a parent or a teacher,  you must watch out for your fellow "team members".   As a decent human being, it is everyone's responsibility to keep our children safe.  Remember, "It takes a village to raise a child".  If you see any bullying behavior- be brave and do the right thing.  Your action could save a life.

As I mentioned earlier, I have written a short handbook to help you spot the signs and know what to do when you recognize bullying behavior.  I am giving away the book - free of charge.  Let's get the word out! The book is 'The Bullying Epidemic-the guide to arm you for the fight'
and you can get your free copy here

Picture: Sad girl Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kprj/wit...

Being Bullied- My Story

There are memories in my childhood that are still so painful I try not to think about it.   When those memories do come rushing back, the tears begin to flow. It's hard to believe that after all these years; I can feel the sadness as though it were yesterday.
You see, when I was a little girl, I was the victim of bullying.  I had just moved to a new city with my parents and I was starting at a new school.  I missed my old friends, but I hoped I would make some nice new friends.  I was kind of shy and quiet so I was nervous.  But it was exciting.  I didn't know what to expect- but I never expected what happened. 
On my first day of school, the bully in my class decided to single me out.  Looking back- it seems so absurd that someone can randomly pick an innocent child and then terrorize them based on something like their name or the fact that they wear glasses.  It's also hard to believe that this boy had so much power over the rest of the children- no one dared to confront him.  He could make other children join in with the taunting and teasing.
No one would defy him to be my friend.  They were afraid.  This could result in the bully focusing his abuse on them.  Even the teachers ignored the abuse.
Then there were the school rituals that fed right into the bully culture.
When it came to gym class there was a dreaded process that the teachers used to build the teams.  The teachers picked a couple of children to be the "Team Captains", and then those children would pick their teams.  It was so humiliating.  I knew I would be the last one chosen.  I didn't even want to play because the bully and his friends always welcomed the opportunity to hit me with the ball or just run into me and knock me to the ground. 
He made my life a sad and lonely hell.  It wasn't just the taunting and name calling.  At recess he and his friends just tortured me.  Between the taunting and being hurt physically, it was terrorism.  He once hit me in the face with a football and I still remember how badly that hurt.  I cried but no one came to my rescue.
My mother told me to ignore him.  I did.  It didn't change anything.  I had a very ignorant relative that asked me, what was wrong with me ?  There must be something wrong with me or the kid would not pick on me. 
I didn't know.  At this point I was confused.  I was only seven years old. Maybe something was wrong with me. But what changed? I had a lot of friends at my old school.  We all got along really well.  I didn't understand.
I had a hard time falling asleep at night because I had a pain in my stomach.  I was afraid of what would happen the next day at school.  I loved Fridays, I cherished my weekend reprieve from the suffering, but I started feeling sick on Sunday morning, knowing it was only a matter of hours...
I prayed and prayed to God to make the bully leave me alone, but the bullying never stopped.  Thankfully after a couple of years the school closed.  I went to a new school.  The bully went to a different school. 
 Everything changed.  I was back to being a normal kid with friends.  Thank God.
That happened to me many, many years ago and yet when I think about it or talk about it, I start to cry.  I cry for that helpless little girl so many years back and I cry for my young nieces and nephews- I never want them to go through anything like that.  And I cry for the children that were bullied so badly they felt there was no way out and they killed themselves.  Now their parents and brothers and sisters will always wish they had done something.   No innocent child deserves to be bullied. 
I believe the solution is education.  Everyone needs to be aware of the signs of bullying and what to do when you spot a situation.  That is why I wrote a short handbook that I am giving away- free of charge.  You can get your free copy here.
Do you know that there are different types of bullying?
Physical Bullies
This includes hitting or kicking the victim.  Also taking or damaging the victim's property. This is the most obvious type of bullying because it is so easy to spot. Physical bullies are usually known to the entire population in the school.


Verbal Bullies
Verbal bullies use words to hurt or humiliate another person. This would include name-calling, insulting, making racist comments and teasing. This type of bullying is the easiest to inflict on other children. It can be done quickly and on the sly.  Its effects can be more devastating than physical bullying, because these scars stay with you forever.
Relational Bullies
For more on types of bullying click here.
This could be a great opportunity to open the dialog with the children in your life:
Can you identify the type of bullying in the scenarios below?
This is a situation where Ally and Bella are playing and then Jenny asks them if she can play too.  Ally and Bella roll their eyes and tell Jenny that she can not play with them   
This is hurtful and Jenny will feel that she is being left out or ostracized.  This is relational bullying.
Here's another situation where Bobby and Nick think it's really funny to hide Jimmy's coat.  Jimmy asks them if they know where it is, but they will not tell him.  Jimmy is upset.  He has to go to recess, in the cold, with no coat.  Plus, he will get in trouble at home when he must tell his parents that he lost his coat.   
This is cruel and humiliating.   This is physical bullying.
In this situation Jenny walks in the bathroom and finds Ally and Bella combing their hair.  Jenny says, "Hi." and Ally and Bella ignore her and then Ally says, "Why are your sleeves rolled up Jenny- it's winter!" and then Ally and Bella laugh at Jenny.  Jenny leaves the bathroom in tears.  She will be upset all day and have a hard time sleeping that night.  She is humiliated and hurt.   
This is hurtful and humiliating.  It is very mean to make fun of someone and laugh at them.  This is verbal bullying.
Another situation could be where Bobby and Nick are playing on the basketball team and they never pass the ball to Jimmy-even when Jimmy is in the perfect position and he's open to catch the ball. 
This is wrong.  It is hurtful and mean to exclude Jimmy. Everyone deserves their turn.   This is relational bullying.
In life- not just sports- we must realize that we only win when we are team players.  When we work together as a team we always succeed.  We all need to treat each other with kindness and love.  God said, "Treat others as you would want to be treated."  So before you do something mean or thoughtless to someone- think of how you would feel if they did the same to you?
Here are some random facts about bullies:
Even though a bully will insult their victim and try to ridicule the way the victim looks, the fact is- most bullies are unattractive.
The purpose of bullying is to hide the fact that they are not very smart.  In reality, they are weak and incompetent.  They want to take all attention away from their inadequacy.
Even though the bully puts on a big show, with the ability to attract and intimidate many followers, bullies have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and thus feel insecure. Low self-esteem is a factor proven in all studies of bullying. 
Bullies operate on resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger, and often have wide-ranging prejudices against anyone who is different. Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy. Rejection is another powerful motivator of bullying.
Today, bullying behaviors at school are recognized as dangerous and harmful acts that victimize the targeted student and bystanders. Bullying can no longer be dismissed as harmless teasing.  Bullying is a pattern of deliberate, negative, hurtful, aggressive acts that works to shift the balance of physical, emotional, or social power.  This is a hate crime.  Yes a crime. 
They are currently working on legislature to pass laws that will ensure if someone if convicted of bullying, as a child, they will go to a juvenile detention facility or if they are a teenager or adult, they will most likely be tried as an adult and go to prison.
If you are or have been a victim of a bully, you are in good company.  Some famous people who have been bullied include:Lady GagaRobert Patterson- yes, Edward from TwilightKristen Stewart- Bella from TwilightTaylor Lautner- Jacob from TwilightDaniel Radcliffe- star of Harry Potter moviesEmma Watson- the star from the Harry Potter moviesMiley CyrusPrince HarryKate MiddletonMichael PhelpsChristine AguilaraChris RockPierce Brosnan- that's James BondBill Clinton- a former president of the United StatesTiger WoodsDemi LovatoRhiannaTaylor SwiftJustin TimberlakeSo, please keep your eyes open.  Whether you are a student or a parent or a teacher,   you must watch out for your fellow "team members".   As a decent human being, it is everyone's responsibility to keep our children safe.  Remember, "It takes a village to raise a child".  If you see any bullying behavior- be brave and do the right thing.  Your action could save a life.As I mentioned earlier, I have written a short handbook to help you spot the signs and know what to do when you recognize bullying behavior.  I am giving away the book - free of charge.  It's called, The Bullying Epidemic-the guide to arm you for the fight'and you can get your free copy here:  Let's get the word out! 

The Bullying Epidemic

Bullying has been around since the beginning of time.  I don't claim to be any expert but I have had my own experience with being bullied as a child, many years ago.  I know how deep the pain goes.   It's extremely traumatic. It scars you for life.  And although it has always been wrong- on so many levels- it has never been more rampant.  The heart breaking stories we hear on the news almost weekly.  Children being terrorized to the point of suicide.
Why isn't someone stepping to the plate?  There are many opinions and schools of thought on that topic.  There are several websites that are excellent resources for everyone. 
The government has actually put together a website that can be used as a resource by children, teens, LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender), parents and educators.  That site is: http://www.stopbullying.gov/
Bullying is on the rise- there is no doubt about it.  And what's really alarming is how young these bullies begin to terrorize.  The key is to start educating children at a young age.  Parents need to take an active role, as they have the most influence over the child at this age.
"When we're talking about 3-, 4-, 5-year-old girls, your ability is stronger as a parent to police your child's behavior than when your girl is 15,'' says Simmons, founder of the Girls Leadership Institute, a nonprofit that teaches assertiveness skills.
Speaker and author Barbara Coloroso (http://kidsareworthit.com) claims we are living in a "culture of mean."   She told a story that should serve as a wake up call.  Coloroso says it's imperative to acknowledge bullying regardless of age because the behavior often progresses.
She described a case last year in Washington state in which a group of sixth-grade girls made an animated video set to a Hannah Montana tune and put it on YouTube. Titled "Top Six Ways to Kill Piper,'' the video showed two girls shooting their classmate, shoving her off a cliff, poisoning her, and making her kill herself. The perpetrators, 11 and 12 years old, were disciplined by their school, but no criminal charges were filed.
"If we don't handle it in grade school,'' Coloroso says, "it only gets worse.''
Still, most people do nothing. Plus, their have been disturbing cultural changes, that I believe directly contribute to increased bullying.  It seems that all the popular shows today illustrate that "mean" is equal to "cool".  They glamorize bullying.  This is especially true with girls and women. 
Anyone can be victim to a bully.  It's wonderful to see so many celebrities coming forward to offer support with their own sad stories of being victimized by a bully.  There are a group of musicians that have formed an organization called  'Make Beats Not Beat Downs'.  According to their website,  Make Beats Not Beat Downs is a non-profit uprising dedicated to presenting alternative help to bullies & the bullied youth through all aspects of music. Through partnering up with some of the most talented musicians, nation wide, we vow to make sure that bully victims have a voice. MBNBD and these dedicated musicians are here to say, "We, like you, have had enough. We're going to stand up for you. We're going to stand up for each other. Who's with us?"
They also list some alarming statistics that I will share with you.  Keep in mind, the numbers continue to rise every month...
- It is estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students. Source: National Education Association.
- American schools harbor approximately 2.1 million bullies and 2.7 million of their victims. Dan Olweus, National School Safety Center.
- 1 in 7 Students in Grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying.
- 56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.
- 15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school.
- 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.
- 1 out of 20 students has seen a student with a gun at school.
- 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.
- Those in the lower grades reported being in twice as many fights as those in the higher grades. However, there is a lower rate of serious violent crimes in the elementary level than in the middle or high schools.
- 90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying.
- Among students, homicide perpetrators were more than twice as likely as homicide victims to have been bullied by peers.
- Bullying statistics say revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings.
- 87% of students said shootings are motivated by a desire to "get back at those who have hurt them."
- 86% of students said, "other kids picking on them, making fun of them or bullying them" causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.
- 61% of students said students shoot others because they have been victims of physical abuse at home.
- 54% of students said witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to violence in school.
- According to bullying statistics, 1 out of every 10 students who drops out of school does so because of repeated bullying.
- Harassment and bullying have been linked to 75% of school-shooting incidents.
This is an epidemic!  Why isn't it being stopped?  Research indicates that many bullying incidents are not reported to school officials, but I must question how many teachers turn a blind eye?  According to the  California Department of Education:
Today, bullying behaviors at school are recognized as dangerous and harmful acts that victimize the targeted student and bystanders. Bullying can no longer be dismissed as harmless teasing or as a normal yet undesirable behavior. Rather, bullying is a pattern of deliberate, negative, hurtful, aggressive acts that works to shift the balance of physical, emotional, or social power.
Behavior motivated by bias or hate is similar to bullying and is intended to cause emotional suffering, physical injury, or property damage through intimidation, harassment, bigoted slurs or epithets, force or threat of force, or vandalism. Hateful or biased behavior is motivated in part or in whole by hostility toward a person's real or perceived race, nationality, religion, disability, gender, or sexual orientation. (Education Code sections 200, 220, 233, and 48900.3 describe policies and intent specific to hate-motivated violence. Penal Code sections 422.6, 422.7, 422.75, 422.8, 422.9, 422.95, and 628 define what constitutes hate-motivated crimes.)
The responsibility to establish the school environment lies with the entire school community. The environment evolves from the ideals, policies, practices, and administration of the school. Education Code Section 35294 et seq. requires each school to develop and implement a School Safety Plan as a part of its overall local education plan and to revisit the plan annually and amend it as needed. The first step in the planning process, as described in Safe Schools: A Planning Guide for Action, is to gather a planning committee that actively involves school administrators, teachers, students, and parents.

To avoid confusion or doubt about what constitutes bullying behavior, researcher Ken Rigby proposes a definition of bullying:
A desire to hurt + a hurtful action + a power imbalance + repetition (typically) + an unjust use of power + evident enjoyment by the aggressor + a sense of being oppressed on the part of the target.
Well, that sounds like a good start, right?  Bad news- that was released in 2003!
It is said that these anti-bullying programs have about a 15% success rate.  If this is the case, what now?   In 2004, The Canadian Public Health Association published its SafeSchool Study- and reports that we need to look at bullying as a public health issue.
Once thing is certain.  Adult intervention is one of the best defenses against bullying. This is where it gets fuzzy.  Research shows that teachers my be unaware.  They also often miss different types of bullying, especially social bullying.  Parents struggle with recognizing and acknowledging bullying as well. This becomes even trickier due to the fact that the child that is being bullied is sometimes embarrassed to tell anyone.  
But the reality here is that both parents and educators need to be on guard.  They need to  recognize the warning signs, intervene immediately when bullying occurs and send the message that bullying wrong and will not be tolerated.Here are some guidelines furnished by the government website : How to recognize bullying behavior:
Being BulliedComes home with damaged or missing clothing or other belongingsReports losing items such as books, electronics, clothing, or jewelryHas unexplained injuriesComplains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, or feeling sickHas trouble sleeping or has frequent bad dreamsHas changes in eating habitsHurts themselvesAre very hungry after school from not eating their lunchRuns away from homeLoses interest in visiting or talking with friendsIs afraid of going to school or other activities with peersLoses interest in school work or begins to do poorly in schoolAppears sad, moody, angry, anxious or depressed when they come homeTalks about suicideFeels helplessOften feels like they are not good enoughBlames themselves for their problemsSuddenly has fewer friendsAvoids certain placesActs differently than usual
Bullying OthersBecomes violent with othersGets into physical or verbal  fights with othersGets sent to the principal's office or detention a lotHas extra money or new belongings that cannot be explainedIs quick to blame othersWill not accept responsibility for their actionsHas friends who bully othersNeeds to win or be best at everything
Here are some actions you may want to consider:
Intervene immediately. Separate the students involved. Do not immediately ask about or discuss the reason for the bullying or try to sort out the facts.Request more information.  Get the facts. Speak to students involved (participants and observers) in the incident separately and ask what happened.Tell the students you are aware of their behavior. Talk to the students involved separately.Make it a teachable experience.  Helping bystanders understand what has happened and why may be important for preventing future incidents.
Remember to:Report the incident to the right person (the school might consider identifying an official contact, who may be the school administrator, or a member of the school safety committee).Consider an appropriate intervention based on the severity and history of the incident and the students involved.   Follow up with the students involved to ensure the bullying does not continue.And then Step Two:
For the Student Who Was Bullied
Check in regularly with the student who was bulliedDetermine whether the bullying still continuesProvide a supportive environmentReview the school rules and policies with the student to ensure they are aware of their rights and protectionConsider referring them for professional or other services as appropriate
For the Student Who Bullied Others
Identify the behaviorReview the school rules and policies with the studentAsk for positive change in future behaviorConsider referring them for professional or other services as appropriateConsider appropriate graduated consequencesEncourage the student to channel their influence and behavior into positive leadership rolesMonitor and check in frequently
For Bystanders
Encourage them to talk with youReview the school rules and policies with the studentsDiscuss with bystanders how they might intervene and/ or get help next timeAcknowledge students who took action to stop the bullying
For the Parents of the Students Involved
Describe the incidentReview the school rules and policies with the parentsDescribe the intervention measures taken as appropriateDevelop a plan to follow up
One would pray that these steps put a stop to the bullying behavior.  But many times the bullying continues.  
  What to Do When Bullying Continues or Gets WorseIf the bullying gets worse and you need additional help, consider the following if:  Someone is at immediate risk of harm because of bullying Call the police 911 Your child is feeling suicidal because of bullying Contact the suicide prevention hotline [image error] at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) Your child's teacher is not keeping your child safe from being bullied Contact local school administrator (principal or superintendent)  Your school is not keeping your child safe from being bullied Contact the State School Department Your child is sick, stressed, not sleeping, or is having other problems because of bullying Contact your counselor or other health professional [image error] Your child is bullied because of their race, ethnicity, or disability and local help is not working to solve the problem Contact the U.S. Department of Education's Office on Civil Rights
If your child is LGBT-the organization, the Gay and Lesbian Independent School Teachers Network has a website with a lot of resources.
Bullying and pressures related to sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression can feel overwhelming but there are many places that can help you get through this time. 
If you or someone you know is in crisis, get help now by calling the Trevor Project at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386).
Crisis Prevention Resources
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
http://www.afsp.org/The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) is the leading national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy, and to reaching out to people with mental disorders and those impacted by suicide.Trevor Project
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/The Trevor Lifeline is the only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention lifeline for LGBTQ youth. The Trevor Lifeline is a free and confidential service that offers hope and someone to talk to, 24/7. Each year, tens of thousands of calls are fielded from young people across the country. The Trevor Lifeline is accredited as an exemplary crisis intervention program by the American Association for Suicidology (AAS).
General LGBT Support Resources
It Gets Better Project
http://www.itgetsbetter.org/Itgetsbetter.org is a place where young people who are lesbian, gay, bi, or trans can see how love and happiness can be a reality in their future. It's a place where our straight allies can visit and support their friends and family members. It's a place where people can share their stories, take the It Gets Better Project pledge, watch videos of love and support, and seek help through the Trevor Project and GLSEN.National Center for Transgender Equality
http://transequality.org/ NCTE is social justice organization dedicated to advancing the equality of transgender people through advocacy, collaboration and empowerment.Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
http://pflag.orgPFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, their families and friends through Support, to cope with an adverse society, Education, to enlighten an ill-informed public and Advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights.Trevor Project
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Legal Assistance Resources
American Civil Liberties Union
http://www.aclu.org/The ACLU also works to extend rights to segments of our population that have traditionally been denied their rights, including people of color; women; lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people; prisoners; and people with disabilities.Family Equality Council
http://www.familyequality.org/Family Equality Council works to ensure equality for LGBT families by building community, changing hearts and minds, and advancing social justice for all families.Lambda Legal
http://www.lambdalegal.org/Lambda Legal is a national organization committed to achieving full recognition of the civil rights of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgender people and those with HIV through impact litigation, education and public policy work.
So, please  keep your eyes open.  If you see any bullying behavior- be brave and do the right thing.  Your action could save a life.

Based on a research report done by Snooth.com, moms ...

Based on a research report done by Snooth.com, moms  make up a large proportion of our customers.  To me that says we need to make sure we are providing what these busy moms need.

The research shows that two-thirds of the moms polled consider it to be "always acceptable" to drink wine while preparing dinner, and 27% feel it to be always acceptable to drink while doing housework.  I agree! It  Wine can elevate the mundane into something special.

We know people usually consume their wine within just a few hours of purchase, so why not stop by Discount Liquor check our selection in Kat's Wine Boutique, and.or ask us about what's new in wine, so that you can choose the wine that will dazzle at the next parental function. We can point out some really great, "drinkable" wines that appeal to a wide variety of palates.

58% of respondents in the recent poll replied that it was always or usually acceptable to drink wine during parental functions involving children. This is of course in moderation and always with a designated driver if there is driving involved.

It is acceptable (and fun) to drink wine in a variety of venues, but remember to drink responsibly.