JoDee Luna's Blog, page 27

The Goodness of God and Conditional Belief

Do we believe God is good only when He does what we want? Lately I’ve been pondering this question and the concept of conditional belief. How often my lips whisper, “I know I can trust you,” when my mind conjures, if you give me what I prayed for. In fact, I find the simple trust a child inherently has difficult for me to practice.

I think we can all relate, on some level, to conditional belief, the concept that God is good if He provides, protects, or produces.

Yet what if God doesn’t heal your beloved or the mortgage money never materializes? What if you lose your job, get stuck in one you abhor, or fail to pass that test to qualify for another?

What if you’ve suffered as a child? Was God’s goodness temporarily suspended? No, God is good whether you had a miserable childhood or made cookies with flour-patted hands.

My husband and I have just endured six months of suspended hope as a short sale venture teetered on the brink of crumbling. In fact, we’ve been living out of boxes for a month. During this time of patience stretching, we’ve moved along a gamut of emotions from elation to despair and then frustration to anger. When the second extension deadline loomed, we  wrestled with releasing what we wanted so intensely.

So when a dream woke me up in the middle of the night, I paid special attention to the message.

In the dream, two nail-like spikes, aged and rusty like the ones driven through the wrists of Jesus when he was nailed to the cross, were driven into a beam of wood. As I looked at the nails, one fell over to the right and the other fell over to the left, yet neither nail was bent in the process.

The dream jolted me awake, and so I jotted the it down and then fell back to sleep.

The next morning, I shared the dream with my husband, “Here’s something for you to chew on today.”

After I explained the imagery, he said, “Maybe our house is going to fall through.”

Then, to my surprise, I found these words tumbling out of my mouth, “Maybe the only sure thing in this life is the Lord.”

We both sighed and mustered the grace to let our dream die. Ironically, that’s when the call came: “The house closed escrow.”

It was as if God handed our dream back to us. And yet, we realized there would be a whole lot of other times when the dream would not return.

So this morning I remember this truth, God is good, and His goodness doesn’t depend upon Him giving us what we think we want or need.

He’s good whether marriages crumble or children perish.
He’s good when pastors are unethical and parishioners cruel.
He’s good when bills don’t get paid or job offers fall through.
He’s good when cupboards are bare and students shuffle to school in threadbare clothes.

God’s goodness is inherent, and I’ve been thinking a lot about God’s inherent goodness, a goodness that stands impenetrable, unfathomable, untouched by our human condition. A goodness that exists even though we may end up like Job with nothing, a goodness that endures beyond the temporal and beyond our disappointments, suffering or sadness. Our faith need not rest on whether or not we get His gifts. What a relief!

Yes, God’s goodness existed back before we were in our mothers’ bellies and will continue after our earthly bodies become dust. His goodness is eternal and the very foundation for our belief…a belief that can be unconditional because He is unconditionally good.

 

 

 

 

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The Mysterious Wave-like Nature of Writing

How interesting that when I am most stripped of thought and emptied of soul, eventually, the sighs rise inside, like ocean waves, and then roll though my pen.

Something someone can relate to splashes onto paper; no guile, no posturing, just an honest description of a human dilemma. And when this happens, people relate, and I think, perhaps people relate to, and are refreshed by, writing that is real.

What a mysterious movement of soul water writing is. At times, words rise and swell and roll forth into inspired prose. Then, at other times, they lie still in one’s soul; no amount of conjuring can make them stir. The writer paddles out past the breakwater and waits, feeling depleted of creativity, exhausted in mind, threadbare of spirit.

Then, in time, the ocean’s belly of writing rises and heaves forth a thought, and that thought forms into words, collecting momentum. The writer catches the wave as it crusts and glides.

So if you have the compulsion to write, I welcome you to the fickleness of the craft. I invite you to ride those waves of inspiration. But I also encourage you to pay special attention to those times in between the easy. Try to remember to rest, to float, to gather strength. For rest assured, your best will spill forth when you are stripped of thought and emptied of soul.

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Releasing the Knowing

To live the life of faith, one must release the human compulsion to know, to figure it all out, to select the most secure path, step-by-step.

To know how life will unfold in any given situation
To know the purpose of every endeavor
To reduce the risks at all costs
To guarantee success

As I age, I’m starting to realize how much of a control freak I’ve become. What’s worse, I disguise my compulsion with, “I just want to live a life pleasing to God.”

In reality, I’ve got my teeth sunk into Eve’s apple. You know the story…the slithering serpent’s temptation gets the better of her: “If you eat this fruit, then you will become like God, knowing good from evil.”

“Well heck ya,” I would have said, “Who doesn’t want to know good from evil?”

I would have argued with God, “Lord, we humans could waltz our way around life’s potholes if we had the knowing. We could end every day secure in the choices we’ve made”

 

Not only do I demand the knowing, but I also come to Him with conditions:

“Ok God, I’ll self-publish those other books if I know they will sell.”
“I’ll try this new art form if I know I can do it well.”
“I’ll take on that new job, if I know the opportunity will extend beyond a year.”
“I’ll try to buy this other home, if I know the process will go smoothly.”

But when opportunities yank on my hand like impetuous children, they often take me through circumstances that mess with my craving for calm, organization, and dependability…

And I don’t think I’m alone. When we humans release the knowing, surprises pop up in the most unexpected places, and yet we can’t enjoy those surprises if we open up all of the packages before hand.

In fact, if we release the knowing, our lives will snake around formidable obstacles and rise above impenetrable ridges. We will find those valleys of purpose we seek.

For we would have never attempted some of the most amazing opportunities if we had known every challenge that lurked in the bushes along the way, waiting to latch onto our ankles.

So just for this moment, and then just for today, let’s work on releasing the knowing. I highly suspect this is a much better way to life.

This post is linked to the True Vine Challenge.

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The Acrylic Painting of Artist Elya Filler

Today I celebrate an artist’s recent success. An artist I’ve had the privilege of watching emerge since she was just a wee thing, my daughter Elya Filler.

Elya began creating as far back as I can remember. She would escape into her room and get lost in making tiny books and writing stories about horses. She experimented with many art mediums before discovering, and falling passionately in love with, acrylic paints.

Now, every week, I wonder what Elya will dream up next. In fact, recently I went into her Etsy Store to purchase one of her new paintings. The acrylic tree mesmerized me, and so I thought it would be a nice surprise to buy it online.

I hesitated and then when I went back online five minutes later, to my surprise, the painting had sold within minutes. In fact, within the span of a couple of weeks, Elya’s paintings started selling and she received a request for a commission on a three-part tree painting she is now working on for a customer.

Then just the other day, her sister pointed out one of Elya’s paintings on Etsy, “Cherry Blossoms,” and said, “I want to buy this one.”

Then Elya texts me the very next day, “Mom, someone has emailed her about buying the painting “Cherry Blossoms.”

 

Now I find myself thinking, Hey which ones do I want before they’re all gone?

Seriously now, I’m thrilled that Elya’s art is taking off lately. I can attest to the incalculable hours she has painted for the sheer pleasure of it, as well as painted to give gifts to many of her friends and family. In fact, this one is my all-time favorite she titled, “The Tree of Life.” This painting was a gift to her grandfather, a spiritual mentor in her life.

So today I celebrate Elya’s artistic success and post what is still for sale on Etsy, while they last, mind you. This painting has been pinned repeatedly on Pinterest but I don’t think people know that it is still for sale on Elya’s Etsy store, “But I see it was you.” You may purchase this painting at: www.etsy.com/….

Here’s another one of my favorites. Elya is also passionate about traveling the world, which she’s done more of than most adults. These two paintings reflect her love of international exploration. The first is a…

Acrylic Multicolored Painting of the World, available on Elya’s Etsy Store.

You can purchase “Let’s Get Lost” with this link to Elya’s Etsy Store.

You can purchase this colorful tree painting with this link to Elya’s Etsy Store.

Yet as entrancing as Elya’s paintings are, those who know her would agree, the person she is comes out through the unique creations she features on canvas.

She is a vibrant young woman with a passion for living, traveling, and searching for truth.

A young woman who has conquered many struggles to emerge as a gifted artist.

Mask painted by Elya Filler

So I’ve you’ve been considering buying one of Elya’s paintings, I wouldn’t wait any longer, it might be sold tomorrow.

Elya also works on commission, so if you have an idea, you can contact her at elyafiller@gmail.com.

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Bone Dry

[image error]Have circumstances ever challenged your trust? You find yourself in a battle to believe, as worry wipes away all evidence of grace.

I have!

During those awkward hours, and often days, I have little to say beyond mental whisperings to God alone.

Cynicism overpowers serenity, and in those moments of humanness I don’t like the person I am inside.

During these uncomfortable times of unbelief, all attempts to write away my frustration fail. Feelings of satiation ebb away as if my soul has been punctured through, repeatedly, with a hot metal rod.

And then, in time, the mystery of surrender surrounds, empowering me to open my hand and release the object of my obsession, plugging holes with rivets of grace.

The cup of my soul opens wide and words begin to trickle. Poetry flows forth after days of wrestling with wordlessness.

This is the mystery of abiding. When we can’t, He can.

 

*Original Renaissance photograph by Justing Luna

Check out this inspirational blog by selecting the photo link:

Do you want to hear about an amazing miracle? Select Cheryl Smith’s post link “True Vine Challenge: Ask Whatever you Wish.”

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Silence

“It doesn’t matter if anyone else understands. You do, and that’s all that matters to me.”

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The words stir my mind; a mind transfixed on silence. Only the refrigerator’s hum fills the still as I’m thinking…

What would it be like if I were alone, every evening, in an endless string of solitudes?  

Silence, the womb of communion.

Would others think me crazy if they knew I encountered communion in the silence?

Then the words come, as if a rush of wind stirring leaves in an abandoned well, an answer to my unspoken prayers:

“It doesn’t matter if anyone else understands.

You do, and that’s all that matters to me.”

Silence, delightful and yet terrifying. Not enough of it and I knit my brow in consternation, growing cross at slow-moving cars dominating fast lanes.

[image error]Not enough of it and I guffaw stalled shoppers fingering tin cans in body-packed aisles.  Not enough of it and I gasp for breath when people lunge for short lines.

Yet in this instant, silence thickens the air. The heaviness of imagining never hearing my husband turn the key and bumble through the door bears down upon me.

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Yes, silence is the gap between eternity and humanity, the void ushering in thoughts not generated by soul, or mind, or heart; thoughts arriving quite unexpectedly, at first seeming somewhat out of sync. Then making all the sense in the world of the world.

In this womb of communion, the whisper comes, unheard with ears but yet more real than my own chortling voice, “It doesn’t matter if anyone else understands. You do, and that’s all that matters to me.”

 

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DIY Lesson for Creating a Heart-themed Mixed Media

This is a fun project you can do with a few simple materials First, cut a heart out of plaster cloth, dip it into water, and then smooth the cloth onto a wooden heart.

After the heart dries, create a wash with your favorite paint colors by adding water to them. Brush the wash over the heart.

Stamp the heart with a musical-themed stamp using Tim Holtz Distress Ink. Then coat the heart with Golden Gel Medium. Next, trace the heart on a canvas already painted with off-white acrylic paint.

Sponge the heart’s shape with gesso.

Glue the heart to the canvas using E 6000 glue.

Wash diluted yellow ochre paint on the canvas to create an aged look. Add embellishments: a decorated tag, brown ribbon, inked edges, another wood heart, an embroidered yo yo, tinted cloth rose, and pressed leaves.

Supplies Needed:

4″ by 6″ canvas
Acrylic paints
Wood heart
Plaster cloth
Stamps
Tim Holtz Distress Ink
Pressed leaves
Tag made from scrapbook paper
Ribbon
Rose
Embroidered Yo Yo

 

 

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Unwinding

Is unwinding an important part of abiding?

[image error] Friday was an incredible day on the Colorado River:

Soaking in sun while draped across our boat’s deck
Gliding across the glass with the wind in my face
Connection with grown up kids
Much-needed relaxation
Lots of belly laugher

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Today I feel fortunate, thankful for the abundance I enjoy in family, recreation, fun, and relaxation. Necessary interludes such as this one help me to unwind in the midst of my otherwise full symphony of life.

Short excursions remind me to refill when my energy tank registers empty. Taking time away from those necessary routines, work requirements, and impacted thoughts opens my mind to idea refreshing, soul sighing, and body resting. When I take time away, I relish in plenty: plenty of sleep, plenty of laughter, plenty of peace.

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Now you might be saying, “But I don’t own a boat.”

Yet I would answer you with, “Owning a boat is not a prerequisite for unwinding, but changing locations often assists.”

There’s something mind expanding about different surroundings. Whether you drive for a day or stay for the weekend, find a place to lounge, preferably in surroundings that will fill your eye gate with something beautiful to you.

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Suck in some fresh air and release a few sighs. I promise grace will meet you there, and you will return with crisp perspective.

 

Select the photo link to read some more posts about abiding:

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“Lord, help me to endure my blessings.”

A tiny refrigerator magnet reminds me to be thankful when coffers of heart and home bulge with abundance. The words etched into the middle read, “Lord, help me to endure my blessings.” My mother gave me this magnet as a gift during a particularly busy time of my life. Now the words comfort me as I rush about my week in an attempt to diminish my never-ending “To Do” list.

A new job fills my life to overflowing with opportunities for growth and change, for me… and for others.

Home improvement projects swell my soul and yet swallow me whole as work consumes evenings and weekends.

Memories of tiny hands pressed into fresh cement stir emotions, and my thoughts begin to battle. I don’t have time to feel! And yet the urge to reminisce overwhelms me.

An unexpected mask sale on my Etsy store forces a line up at the dreaded overcrowded post office.

Taking time for this post feels indulgent, and yet if I do not write my thoughts down I fear I might burst from hurrying’s inner combustion.

Yes, sometimes life forces the rush: the racing instead of the writing, the preparing instead of the pondering, the acting instead of the feeling, the doing instead of the being.

Wash clothes, load crock pot…need to pack, need to clean, need to breathe.

During these stressful days, we do well if we can whisper, “Lord, help me to endure my blessings.”

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Expectations: Motivator or Taskmaster

How do you gauge success? Do you base success on whether you achieved what you thought you could do or by the skills you learned while in pursuit of your goal?

If  you chose the first, then you probably go through life quite frustrated at times because often what you set out to accomplish doesn’t always materialize, but slips through your fingers like shifting seashore sand.

Expectations create the tipping point for action; and yet, if inflexible, morph into a taskmaster that drives you relentlessly.

Motivator: Tipping Point for Action

Have you ever seen one of those innovative contraptions in which a little ball travels down a series of channels? When the ball reaches what I call the tipping point, the weight causes the release of a lever, which, in turn, opens up a new path.

So it is with expectations. Our desire to achieve a particular goal motivates us to work hard, yet often the initial pursuit ends up falling short of what we envisioned. In fact, it often takes us in an unexpected direction.

A Taskmaster: Source of Self-flagellation

The reverse is also true. When you cannot release your envisioned outcomes, expectations morph into a taskmaster. Incessant mental chatter pummels: You just need to work harder. Don’t be a loser. You’ll be perceived as a quitter if you don’t make this happen.

So you work even harder until the reality finally sinks into your skull: Your expectations are unrealistic.

Knowing when to hold on and try harder and when to let go and accept the fact that your previous goal was not right for you is necessary but difficult to do.  Yet mastering unfulfilled expectations is essential if you are going to release your artistry into the world. This is because the release of your artistry will often materialize in a way you never anticipated.

I’ve experienced these unexpected directional changes repeatedly as I’ve journeyed along my life path. What I initially thought was God’s will for me ended up curving into a new direction that was far different from my initial plan. For example, years ago, I thought I was supposed to partner with someone to build an educational technology business. The business failed but the pursuit of the goal propelled my technology talents forward in an unprecedented way.

This reality leads me to another important awareness:

It is often the skills we acquire while in pursuit of our expectations that are the important outcomes, not grasping the initial prize we envisioned.

All is not lost if what you dreamed of doing doesn’t materialize. If you pursued your dream you most likely learned new skills needed to achieve your goal. So even though you failed to finish what you set out to do, you can take your talents with you because they have become a part of you.

My experience with self-publishing is a working example. I made it through the grueling five-year writing season and even the yearlong self-publishing marathon. Then I met with the seemingly impenetrable wall of marketing. My online marketing plan seemed sufficient enough but never produced the results I envisioned. After eight months of endless effort, my book sales were far below the number I was so certain I could reach. I was devastated, to say the least.

Yet the skills I learned while pursuing my goal have greatly benefited me. Here’s one example of how. Recently, I changed jobs from classroom teacher to Middle School Support Specialist. My writing and technology experience helped me to prepare, along with other educators, for teaching at our district’s Summer Institute. So all was not lost, just redirected.

I also decided to move forward with self-publishing my other manuscripts because I regularly come across people who need assistance with areas of expertise I gleaned while pursuing my self-publishing goal. I figured that releasing my artistry was important whether I sold one book or thousands.

In fact, I went through a season of self-reflection and realized that I needed to readjust my value system. In the end, the importance of my efforts should focus on inspiring one person at a time and not on reaching the masses I would never know on a personal level anyway.

So if you find yourself taking an unwanted detour in direction, don’t fight the directional shift. Try to harness your disappointment and ride your newly acquired skills into a hopeful future. Be assured that the skills you learned along the way will open up pleasantly surprising opportunities for you.

 

*A special thanks to my daughter, Elya Filler, whose photos are featured in this post. She is a poster child for flowing with life’s unique directional changes. You can visit her enchanting blog at http://elyafiller.wordpress.com/

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