Sarah Wynde's Blog, page 55

Gift horses

Babelcube sent me $64.63 today.

I blinked at the email in surprise for a few seconds, then said, out loud, “Seriously?” Zelda put her paw on my knee and stared earnestly into my eyes, informing me that I should really not be reading my email before walking her, so I didn’t bother to look up the circumstances until later, after walking and breakfast. My walk thoughts, though, concluded that it was likely to be a mistake.

But nope, turns out the German copy of A Gift of Ghosts actually sold a few hundred copies in January and February on Tolino. I’m delighted — really more for the translator than for me, because yay, she’s finally earned some money for her hard work. Not much money, obviously, but I hope it came as a nice surprise to her, too.

I promptly spent almost my entire $64. My first purchase was two nut milk bags.[image error] My homemade yogurt tasted pretty good, but it was too thin. The internet informed me that if I want thicker yogurt, I’ll need to drain it, and offered lots of options for how to do so. I went with the nut milk bags as feasible, low-effort, and requiring minimal storage space. For obvious reasons, items that can be rolled up and tucked into corners make a lot more sense for quixotic cooking projects than mesh strainers or boxes of industrial-sized coffee filters.

Next up, AmazonBasics 4-Piece Packing Cube Set[image error]. I met a fellow Travato owner last week and her above-the-cab storage was so much more organized than my own chaos. It’s not space that I find very useful — I’ve got clothes, linens, jackets, towels, a yoga mat, window covers, and hand weights all stuffed in there, more or less haphazardly. She was using it for the same type of stuff but with packing cubes, which seemed so much more efficient. Her packing cubes are nice ones, but I decided to go with cheap ones instead. Fingers crossed that they last more than ten minutes.

Then I spent $38 on books, all by Lois McMaster Bujold. Huge mistake, most likely, because obviously, I am now going to want to read all weekend, but I’ve been slowly but steadily re-purchasing the books that I regretted leaving behind. I used to have everything of hers in hardcover and when I cleaned out my storage unit in April, I didn’t even look in the box that I was taking to goodwill. I knew once I saw them, I’d want to keep them. But Paladin of Souls[image error]was only $4.99! And once I started… well, my two favorite Miles books[image error]were in a boxed set for only $8.99, and the books I was missing from the Wide Green World series[image error]were only $6.99 each and The Curse of Chalion[image error]was only $2.99 and… yes, my resistance was low.

It feels delightfully improvident of me to treat a windfall as an opportunity to splurge. But it was really fun. If it had been just a slightly nicer windfall, I’d have a new shower head[image error]and/or a rather cool hanging organizer[image error]or maybe one of the interesting cookbooks[image error]on my wishlist. Maybe next time!

Last night, it was so windy that the van felt like a boat, rocking from side to side. It was fun in a worrying sort of way. My neighbors, who are in a pop-out trailer, had a much more anxious night than I did, though.

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Looking west at sunrise.

But I’m loving the weather. It’s only going to last for another day, but I baked cornbread (gluten-free) this morning to take advantage of it being cool enough to use my oven. I’m going to make a bay scallop chowder with coconut milk and ginger to go with it for lunch. In fact, I think I’ll go do that right now. And then I’m NOT going to reread favorite books, but am going to work on Grace. Well, at least for a little while.

(All those links are affiliate links, so if you buy something from one of them, I’ll get some percentage of sales. So far I’ve earned .20 from my affiliate linking, so thank you so much to whoever bought… well, probably a book! I appreciate the contribution.

Random things

On one of my first days here, a bird flew overhead carrying a fish at least half its size. It was a raptor, and the first name that popped into my head was “osprey.” I didn’t even try to catch a picture–I just watched in awe and wonder as it glided past me.

Then I looked it up. The app I’ve been using to identify birds is seriously stupid. This bird was obviously, unquestionably, without a doubt, a raptor. I knew it was some sort of hawk. But the method of narrowing down the options is by location, size, and color, so my first list of birds included ducks and geese and other totally inappropriate choices. My second list was just as bad. In the end, the app’s only close-to-reasonable choices were peregrine falcon or red-tailed hawk. I was grumpy about both of them. It didn’t look like a red-tailed hawk to me and it seemed too big to be a peregrine falcon. Today I remembered to look it up when I was on my computer. It was totally an osprey. I’m both pleased with my own bird identifying abilities (score!) and ready to look for a new app, one that lets you choose “type”. Maybe even food supply.

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No app required to identify this bird.

The wind yesterday was strong enough to shake the van. This morning it was strong enough to blow Zelda sideways when we were walking and to turn her fur all sleek and spiky. There’s something exciting about wind. It feels rejuvenating. I’m not going to be trying to sit outside and write in it, though, because the gritty sand is getting everywhere.

But that’s okay, because with the wind came a twenty-degree temperature drop. It’s glorious. The first thing I did when Z and I got back from our walk was open all the shades and take down the window covers. I’ve been trying to keep it cooler inside by keeping it dark, but wow, the light really makes me happy.

I’ve been thinking about the rules of communication recently. Text, emails, messaging… Partly it’s because I got an email from a friend that made me unreasonably happy, which in turn sort of annoys me. Quit being so silly, self. Partly it’s because I have not gotten a return text from R, which makes me (possibly unreasonably) annoyed. Quit being so unsympathetic, self.

But also it’s because I joined OK Cupid a while ago, thinking I could find people to do fun things with along the path of my journey. I can tell already that’s not going to happen — it’s surprising how many people are looking for their One True Love rather than someone to go kayaking with, but perhaps I chose the wrong site. My ideas about the rules of online politeness are evolving rapidly, though. And I’m finding it sort of gratifying to realize that I don’t owe a stranger on the internet who calls me “sweetie” anything at all.

I think I’m letting go of two ideas: 1) that it’s polite to respond to people who talk to you and 2) that I have to be polite. I would never be mean or unkind, of course — I’m not going to troll people. But I was so well socialized to be a “nice girl” and I’m finding it very freeing to realize that silence is sufficient reply. It still seems to me that a polite rejection ought to be kinder than no reply at all, but sadly, I think the entitled assholes of the world have ruined that for everyone.

Also — unrelated thought — I am seriously mystified by the number of men who start with something like “hey, beautiful/cutie/sweetie/pretty woman/angel”. Is there a planet on which it’s appropriate to call women you don’t know by pet names? Because on my planet it’s patronizing as anything. If you walked up to me in person and said, “Hi, sweetie,” I would not respond positively. Why should that change online?

None of that, of course, has anything to do with feeling annoyed at R for not responding to my text. I have agreed to change my summer plans to give him a ride anywhere he wants to go, and while yes, that agreement did come with a lecture about initiative and settling, it is still a pretty damn generous offer. I deserve a thank you, even if it’s a sulky thank you. The longer I go without getting my thank you, the more I want to rescind the offer. On the other hand, I’m quite enjoying the uncertainty of having absolutely no idea where I’m going to be headed after June 2 or 3. It feels really freeing, even though I quite liked my June/July plans.

Last random note: I just put yogurt starter into the insta-pot. In approximately eight hours, I will be moving my homemade yogurt into the fridge and tomorrow morning, assuming this is not some total disaster, I’ll be eating my own yogurt with my breakfast. My happiness practice of appreciating my morning food is turning into a very entertaining creativity exercise in optimizing yogurt and granola. As with the granola, I really like the idea of not having to settle for lesser yogurt when stores don’t have the ones I like. It sort of defeats the mindfulness part of the exercise — I’m not exactly practicing acceptance by insisting on really good yogurt, not just average yogurt — but it’s going to be fun to see what I can make.

And now… to work. I really just meant to write about the osprey, but the sunshine in the van instead of darkness and the cool breeze instead of air-conditioning is making me feel really cheerful and chatty. I hope that translates into some good Grace words, too!

*****

I’m so terrible about remembering to add this, but I appreciate all purchases made through my Amazon[image error] associate link!

Cedar Key

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That palm tree really doesn’t provide much shade.

I’m watching the rain right now, although not really over the ocean, because the view out the side window is of the campground. I could angle myself better to see more water, but not without disrupting a dog’s nap. And it doesn’t matter anyway, because the rain is coating the windows and turning the view into a static-y television screen.

(I wonder when the image of static-y television will become completely meaningless? Like talking about a party line or sending a telegram? Probably not yet, but eventually.)

Serenity is feeling really crowded, because after six days in this campground, I’d pretty much filled my outside space. I had my chair, my table, my grill, my beach mat, and miscellaneous smaller items all scattered over the site, until it became clear that this was going to be serious rain. Now everything is jammed haphazardly inside while I watch the storm.

So even after six days, I’m still not sure how I feel about this campground. The biggest negative is the lack of good walks. The campground is set on a busy road and there’s no sidewalk. I’ve walked in both directions, roamed around some roads that feel like they should be private despite not being marked as such, gone all the way into the town and explored the railroad trail, but it’s felt like a struggle every day to find places to wander. The roads in the campground itself are dusty sand, the gritty kind that sticks to everything, and bumpy rocks, not at all fun to walk on.

The second biggest negative is the no see ‘ums. Relatively speaking, I don’t think they’re that bad. I’ve certainly been in places with much worse mosquitoes — I remember a park in Vero Beach, where the mosquitoes swarmed even the dogs. But when the no see ‘ums are biting — which is not always — staying outside is not fun. They seem completely undeterred by my environmentally friendly bug repellent.

And I guess the third biggest negative has been the heat. My spot is in direct sun and the weather’s been hitting the high 80s every day. I’ve had to run the air conditioner almost constantly. Sadly, I originally had reservations to be in Key West these weeks, but I cancelled them months ago because I decided it would be too hot. It is just as hot here. Alas. I rue the cancellation fees. And as I wrote to a friend today, heat + camping = sweat + dirt = yuck. It’s certainly no fault of the campground, but I really hate feeling dirty all the time.

All that said, wow, the sunsets are lovely. Sunrises, not so much. I haven’t found a place with a good view of the sunrise, except for a bridge on the way into the town. The campground is cute as can be — colorful signs, lots of plants in pots, pretty picnic tables — and the town is adorable. It is what I imagined Key West would be — small and arty, tropical but still feeling like Florida, not the Caribbean. I bet if I was here in March, I’d adore it. Even the lack of good walks would probably not bother me so much. In fact, if it weren’t so hot and dusty, I’d probably think walking into town was a great walk, despite the lack of sidewalks.

And sitting still feels wonderful. I originally thought that yesterday or today I should drive to a store to do some grocery shopping, but I have been completely reluctant to make the effort. I’m not being lazy — I’ve been writing and walking and cooking — but I’m really appreciating the peacefulness of not needing to pack up and go places.

It’s been good, but not yet great, for my writing. I’ve made definite progress, including some words that are very entertaining (to me, at least) but my characters seem to want to chat rather than reach exciting climactic moments. But I’ve got another week here, so I hope to get there.

Today I walked into town without Z and went to the little market. It’s 1.4 miles away, so I couldn’t buy more than I thought I could comfortably carry that far. In 80 degree weather. But I bought yogurt and salad greens and bananas and a few other things, enough to avoid shopping for a couple more days, I hope. On the way back, I stopped at the seafood market. The right thing to buy there was clearly fresh clams and if I was feeding anyone else — ideally three or four people, I absolutely would have. But they were selling the clams in bags of 100 and the thought of eating 100 clams by myself… well, I’m really not sure I’m capable of that. It seemed ambitious, anyway. So I bought some frozen bay scallops instead.

For dinner, I started with brown rice, while I marinated some of the scallops in lemon juice and garlic. I was thinking of doing something lemon-zesty with them but I got distracted by the red pepper flakes I bought recently. Once the rice was done, I melted some butter in a frying pan, added red pepper flakes to it until they were sizzling, added green onion until it was sizzling, then tossed the scallops in. I think I would have done better with a hotter pan at that point or less lemon juice on the scallops or longer defrosting of the scallops, but eventually they looked done. I then tossed in some arugula. I gave that thirty seconds at most, then put the whole thing over the rice. I added cilantro (which I should have added with the arugula) and then a sprinkle of romano/parmesan cheese.

I inhaled it. And if there’d been more, I would have eaten every bit of the more. The combination of the ocean taste of the scallops and the kick of the red pepper and the bitterness of the arugula… so good. Even the textures blended well. When I make it again (which I will have to, because I have about 3/4 of the scallops left), I’m going to skip the lemon and garlic, because I think I was working on two different ideas at once. But maybe I will marinate the scallops in a little gluten-free soy sauce.

The dogs are also eating really well. I don’t remember if I wrote about this, but when I took Zelda to the vet last week, she had some tests, and has an appointment for more tests, but the vet did sort of shrug and say, “Well, maybe feed her what she’s willing to eat.” And what Zelda is willing to eat is people food. And, post my birthday, I have an immersion blender as well as an insta-pot. So dinner for the dogs tonight was sweet potato, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and chicken, cooked in the pressure cooker and then blended to a dog-friendly consistency. (I define that as one where Zelda can’t pick out the meat and ignore the vegetables.) I’m going to have to figure out what supplements they need and maybe, now that I can make the veggie cubes, I will try the raw diet for them. But it’s been really satisfying to watch Zelda lick out her bowl instead of turning away from it and leaving it to B. B, of course, is delighted. He’d be perfectly happy with kibble, but chicken and veggies works for him. The other day, he actually growled steadily as he ate, which you would think might indicate something bad, but which I think was him saying, “Mine, mine, mine, mine…”

So yes, cooking good food, writing good words, and watching the rain. And now I’m getting back to those other words…

Best of April 2017

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So yesterday’s sunset was pretty decidedly the best sunset of April, I think. I saw some nice ones in the beginning of the month, in Trimble Park, and Trimble Park definitely had the best sunrises, but last night was gorgeous.

I needed a gorgeous sunset, too. Serenity’s sink is still not fixed, so I’ve given up on getting out of Florida until the end of May, and it’s really hot. I haven’t figured out how to sleep with the air-conditioning running and I’m starting to feel as fragile and sleep-deprived as I did when Rory was a newborn. I bet if you poked me the wrong way, I would burst into tears. Fortunately, the dogs don’t do a lot of poking.

And this is a best of post, not a worst of, so let’s see… I’m going to go with the two things that immediately jumped into my head.

First, wandering around Universal Studios with my niece, going on ALL the rides, and having serious discussions of superheroes and super powers. Her choice of super-power was basically to be Fen from A Lonely Magic, able to change interior decoration & clothes at will. And no, she hasn’t read A Lonely Magic — she’s definitely too young — nor did she know anything about it, so I’m taking it as evidence of how much we are kindred spirits. No one else involved had a great day, but M & I had fun.

And second, sitting on my friend L’s back porch in Merritt Island, talking about writing and marketing and self-publishing and life and ALL the things. Feeling the cool breeze from the water, admiring the view, writing good words.

Of course, this is making me remember all the other fun things I did this month — dinner with family, Pokemon hunting with J, yoga with C, going to the movies with R. The month didn’t involve a lot of nature or even travel — four campgrounds, plus four driveways, and beginning to end was spent in Florida — but it was very, very sociable.

Unfortunately, not very productive. But I am hoping to make up for that in the next two weeks. I’ll be sitting still at my current campground (of which more later) for the next twelve days. Well, not literally sitting still — at some point, I will have to go to the grocery store because I’d be getting very hungry around the 10th day, I think, and of course Zelda and I will still be going for walks, no matter how hot it gets. (Hot. Very hot. Sticky and miserable hot, dry wind blowing sand in your face hot. And/or no see ‘ums hot. Although I’m not sure I can blame the bugs on the weather, really.)

Mostly, however, I will be sitting still, admiring the gorgeous view, and trying to get Grace and Noah to their happy ending.

Driveway surfing

I’m starting to feel permanently parked in my friend C’s driveway. Let’s see, it’s been five nights here already, and I think I’m going to be here another two. That makes it pretty close to my longest stay anywhere. Fortunately, C is tolerant: I think I would feel seriously awkward about imposing on anyone else this long, but C is delightfully nonchalant about the whole thing. And the actual physical layouts of the driveway and house make it easy to believe I’m not getting in anyone’s way, even though I probably am.

I’m still waiting on the part for my sink. The service guy originally said by the end of last week, then said delivery on Tuesday. On Monday, he said that the part they needed was back-ordered and he had no idea when it would come in. I’m sitting here hoping that the answer is any minute now — today, tomorrow, Friday morning? — but one way or another, I’m leaving on Friday. If the sink isn’t fixed, it’s going to have to get fixed on my next swing back through central Florida.

The delays have seriously tested my zen. Zen in the urban dictionary meaning of the word, not the real definition. I want to be all peaceful and centered about the delay, living my life in a present that is actually quite comfortable, but instead it feels like an itch I can’t scratch. It makes me want to growl a lot and mutter bad words under my breath.

On the positive side, I’ve gotten to go to two yoga classes with C, and they’ve been great. I really do want to find a way to get real yoga back into my life. One of the classes was at 7AM and it was the first time I’ve felt clumsy while doing yoga for a while — the people who make it to the early morning class at the yoga studio are definitely the serious, graceful, very fit type. But instead of discouraging me, it made me wish for more practice. One of the best things about yoga is how easy it is to see improvement: at the beginning of a class, there are stretches that feel impossible, like sitting cross-legged and bending your head to the floor, and by the end of the same class, it’s so much easier to do the same thing. That said, I expect to be seriously sore tomorrow and suspect that I’ll be limping on Friday.

I’m also having lots of sociable time, and getting to see so many friends, some of them quite unexpectedly. It’s both really nice and a little much for introverted me. I suppose vast quantities of solitude punctuated by bursts of crazy sociability is simply part of the life of the nomad (except maybe for the really extroverted nomads meeting people wherever they go), but I wish I could even it out a little. On Friday, whether the sink is fixed or not, I’m headed off for two solitary weeks of sitting still. I’m sure by the end of it I’ll be feeling like I’ve been alone for too long, but at the moment it seems very appealing.

And of course I’m hoping to get lots of writing done while I do. I’ve been trying hard this week, but it’s been going nowhere fast. I’m in a part that feels boring to me and I don’t know whether it’s boring because I’ve been living with this plot line for more than two full years or whether it really is boring. I guess I’ll find out eventually, but only if I keep writing. Onward!

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Bartleby and Zelda, in the same picture and almost even looking at the camera!

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Folly by Laurie King

Folly by Laurie R. King

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was waiting for the oven timer to go off yesterday with ten minutes left. Not enough time to walk the dog or settle into writing, so I decided I’d read the first few pages of a book instead. Poor dog. It was over five hours later that she finally got her walk, because once I started Folly, I didn’t stop reading until I reached the end.

I’m not sure why it caught me so thoroughly. It has more description than I usually like, plus very in-depth details about wood-carving and building, and the basics of the story seemed potentially more depressing than enjoyable. But the narrator had an absolutely compelling mix of fragility and strength. She’s an unreliable narrator who knows she’s unreliable, who’s unreliable even to herself, and yet who is persevering in the face of devastating losses. I did guess basically every element of the mystery long before I’d finished reading, but it didn’t matter — the story had me and I kept going until it was done. A very satisfying read.

View all my reviews

Merritt Island

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I read an article about #vanlife in The New Yorker today and it made me resolve to take more pictures of flowers and sunsets. I’m much better at sunrises, though — at sunset, I somehow rarely have the patience to sit and watch the sky, the way I do at sunrise.

This morning’s sunrise was spectacular. I’m drivewaysurfing again, this time at my friend Lynda’s in Merritt Island. She’s a writer friend, so when I invited myself to stay for a couple of days, I told her we would do lots of writing. Hours of writing! Many sprints! Words, words, words!!

Instead we sat and chatted, then went to the grocery store and bought delicious food for dinner. She got to do all the cooking because the dogs were not happy about being left on the porch by themselves and it’s too hot to leave them in the van, but it was lovely to sit outside on the patio as the sky grew dark and talk about life, the universe, and everything. She’s one of those friends that I can talk to for hours without ever feeling like the topics of conversation are running dry. #Vanlife – at least an authentic representation of #vanlife, for a solo traveler – includes a lot of silence, so it’s not a surprise that given the chance to talk endlessly I’m taking it. But we’re still going to get some writing done today!

I’m still waiting to hear from the dealer about Serenity‘s two final fixes. When I called them on Monday, they said the parts should be coming in next week sometime, so I’ve given up on getting out of Florida for now. When the days are hot and we’re trapped in the van, I regret that enormously — listening to the generator rumble while the sun blasts down on the van is not my favorite activity. But sitting here on Lynda’s porch, two sleeping dogs next to me, a view of the canal before me, listening to the sounds of drifting water and trilling birds, feeling the light wisp of a breeze… well, Florida doesn’t seem so bad.

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Wekiwa Springs

[image error]I wasn’t planning on writing about Wekiwa Springs because a) I’m only spending one night here, mostly so that I could dump the tanks, and b) I’ve been here before, years ago, so I figured it would be familiar, nothing much to say about it.

On the tanks, for future reference for myself, ten days without dumping worked okay, largely because I avoided washing dishes or taking a shower in the van, but I was starting to get occasional whiffs of latrine. Seven days, as long as I shower elsewhere and am cautious with dishwater, is no problem at all.

On the familiarity, ha. I have been here before, years ago, and I have reasonably clear memories of it. My parents camped here with their motor home and R & I came and spent time in the campground with them. We swam in the springs, cooked on the grill, ate dinner outside at the picnic table. I remember it as scrub pine forest with sparse trees and sandy ground covered in brown pine needles. Somewhat desolate and barren — nice enough, but very different from the lush green vegetation around the springs.

Duh. It had recently burned back then. The landscape along the road was still blackened with dead plants and ashes. Fast forward a decade or so and it’s all lush and green and beautiful. But walking along the road this morning I kept being struck by the clear demarkations between one type of green and the next, as if the universe had drawn sharp lines between one terrain and another, instead of letting them smoothly blend together. It wasn’t the universe acting capriciously, though, it was fire — a long-ago fire, now.

That said, in other ways, it’s still much like I remembered. Sitting outside the camper, enjoying the breeze, the loudest sound I hear are some crows yelling at one another, but the second loudest and far more continuous is the traffic. From where I’m sitting, I can see the trucks passing by on the road. And when I got here yesterday afternoon, the park itself was closed due to overcrowding. The springs are a popular destination. Deservedly so — they’re a great place to swim, with water that’s refreshingly cold in Florida’s heat. But it’s the kind of park that you will be enjoying with lots of other people.

The campground, though, isn’t a parking lot. There’s lots of room & lots of vegetation between sites. Sure there are plenty of people here, but it still feels peaceful. If the weather wasn’t so hot — it’s supposed to be in the 90s by the weekend — I could see being perfectly happy to settle in here for the next few weeks. I saw wild turkeys this morning while walking Zelda, and I bet if I stayed long enough we might see a black bear. The warnings about them are prominent and I’m guessing one might have gotten into a nearby dumpster last night, based on the morning’s scattered trash, which looked a little too widely scattered to be raccoon mess.

I was disappointed with the results of my morning’s photo efforts, though. My dad thought I ought to be getting a camera instead of a zoom lens for my phone and now that I’ve had a chance to play with the zoom lens, I’m thinking he was probably right. (You were right, Dad!) The lens is part of this set: CamKix 9 Piece Camera Lens Kit for iPhone 5[image error]. (That is an affiliate link, so if you buy it from that link, something like $1 of your purchase price will come to me. On the other hand, you’re probably not going to buy it after I keep writing about it, so don’t worry that I’m getting rich. :))

The zoom lens is very nice if you have lots of time to set up your shot, use the tripod, can focus evenly, and don’t mind using the case that the lens attaches to, which both prevents you from using other cases and doesn’t look like it would offer any protection at all to your phone. All of my photos this morning came out so unusably blurry that I just threw them away as soon as I had a chance to look at them, even the ones of the wild turkeys. The photo at the top of the post was actually taken without the zoom lens.

And before I left for our walk this morning, I had to take off my phone’s case and put the phone into the lens case. The chance that I am actually going to remember and be willing to do that at 6:30 most mornings is… nonexistent, really. I’d be far more likely to remember to hang a camera around my neck.

Of course, the lens was a lot less expensive than a good camera would be and it is fun to play with. But unless I turn into the kind of person who wants to carry around a mini-tripod and patiently set up for long-distance photos, I suspect it’s mostly going to sit in its box. It’s just not convenient enough to work for me. If it came with a better case, one with some cushioning to protect my phone when I drop it and a cover for the screen, I’d probably get much more use out of it. As it is, I suspect mostly I will use it to try to take pictures of birds right outside Serenity’s windows. And that will be fun, but it wasn’t what I was imagining.

Bah, somehow it is almost 10AM and I have to get moving. My one morning at Wekiwa is rapidly slipping away from me! I’m still trying to figure out my next plans, but I am also determined to get some words written on Grace this week. Fortunately, I’m going to spend the next couple of nights parked in a writing friend’s driveway and I know she’ll encourage me!

Easter Sunday

There are many nice things about my current campground (aka my dad’s driveway), but not the least of them is that there was a chocolate bunny waiting on the kitchen table for me this morning. Happy Easter!

I feel the tiniest bit of guilt that it didn’t even occur to me to send my own kid a chocolate bunny, but he probably would have been very surprised and maybe even skeptical if I had. I’m sure he wouldn’t worry that I was poisoning him, but he would definitely wonder about my inspiration: I was never much good at the candy holidays. Or rather, I was never much good at remembering the candy on the candy holidays — I’d be perfectly happy to be cooking him a nice Easter dinner, it just wouldn’t come with sugar attached.

Last night, I had dinner with my whole family, missing only my own kid. My brother and SIL and his two kids were visiting FL and my sister and her kids live here, so the ten of us went out for pizza. It was definitely a belated birthday celebrations: balloons and flowers on the table and I, at least briefly, wore a tiara celebrating my 50 years. Everyone filled up on delicious-looking pizza, except for my youngest niece and me — I don’t know what M’s inspiration was, but I knew there was gluten-free chocolate cake waiting for me. And now there’s lots of leftover chocolate cake waiting for me.

Hometown minutiae

I had weird dreams last night: the kind that are not so disconnected from the real world as to be impossible (no flying, no spaceships, no monsters) but that are mystifyingly implausible. In one of them, I was taking on the responsibility of raising the infant of a friend’s son. I woke up from that one trying to figure out how I was going to change diapers in Serenity — the actual logistics of storing diapers and wipes and clean cloths and that kind of thing, and was both relieved and a tiny bit disappointed when I woke all the way up. I’m obviously not going to be raising any children while living in a van, and I can’t imagine how I would end up being the person responsible for that specific imagined kid, but I do like babies. The other dreams are all a lot less vivid now — can’t remember a single detail — but all had that same sense of taking on impractical responsibilities that don’t belong to me. At the time, they were mysterious, but looked at in the cold light of day, it’s more obvious to me where my brain was wandering.

This morning I went to yoga with my dad. If I had dreamed that ten years ago, it would have been mystifyingly implausible. If I had dreamed it two years ago, it would have been surreally unlikely. As it was, it was very fun. I haven’t been able to do real yoga at all while living in Serenity. I have about twenty different video classes saved on an iPad, but it’s too small inside to even do a good stretch, and outside… well, there’s uneven ground, dirt, heat, bugs, observers — a bunch of things that have disinclined me to make that choice. Going to a class reminded me of how much I love it, though, and how great it feels. The instructor suggested putting my mat on a picnic table and doing it there and I really ought to try that. Observers to be ignored, of course.

Right now I’m parked in my dad’s driveway, one of my favorite camping spots, looking forward to a quiet day today and a busy day tomorrow. The last few days have been busy-busy, with lots of stuff that realistically I could have done any time but somehow I saved until I was back in central Florida. Example: after more than eight months, I finally went to Bed, Bath & Beyond and bought small bins that fit inside the medicine chest. When I opened up the medicine chest this morning, nothing fell out on me. It was so exciting! Why I didn’t do this somewhere along the way, I can’t say. Some tasks still feel like things you should do at home and central Florida still feels like home. I wonder how long that feeling will last?

I also bought a new garlic press. When I still had a house, I had three garlic presses, and I decided I didn’t need them when I was getting rid of things. It’s the one kitchen item that I have regularly looked for, not found, and — with regret — remembered that I thought I didn’t need. I thought I might have kept one in the storage unit, so I looked when I was cleaning it out on Saturday, but nope, I truly did get rid of all three of them. I’m going to have to make something with garlic really soon to try the new one out. Maybe salad dressing for dinner tonight.

I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to be in central Florida. I’d hoped I’d be able to head north next Monday, but Serenity still needs some warranty work done. The sink in the bathroom is broken (again — 3rd time) and the heated tank system is falling off. So I’m busy making fun local plans for next week — Pokemon hunting with a friend one night, visiting another friend at her childhood home for a couple days, lunch with a third friend — but also trying to decide what makes sense for the three weeks between the time the van might feasibly be repaired and when I need to be back in Florida.

Three weeks feels like forever — that would have been a great stretch of vacation for me ten years ago, certainly sufficient to have any kind of adventure, up to and including driving to the Grand Canyon and back again! — and not nearly long enough. What I really wish is that I could find a place that I love to settle down and finish Grace. But I suspect I could easily spend three weeks just trying to find such a place. If it weren’t so hot here, I’d just stay in Florida. And maybe I’ll do that anyway, but I’m having to run the AC for the dogs most of the time, which is not my favorite thing. Decisions, decisions!

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