David L. Atkinson's Blog, page 131
January 5, 2014
Writing - Stories and settings
The feedback from readers is invaluable in so many ways. I had a conversation this morning which was centred around setting. It was interesting and reinforced the idea that it is best to write from where you're at.
Most significantly successful authors have written about places they are familiar with or that they've at least visited. The people I have immense respect for are the SF writers where that option doesn't exist in the physical world. However, having said that, if you set your SF novel on this planet then you can use a familiar setting. In Cessation I used my local area which has been identified by a reader. In short your acquired knowledge is a gold mine of experiences. The gratifying factor was that my reader could identify the places I was writing about which led to a discussion around types of imagination. In short some people will have their imaginations triggered by the written word taking them to the places that the writer is trying to have them see, and others are incapable of that level of imagining. As I said yesterday in the development of minor characters, it is all a case of balance. If you give too much description then you steal the need to use imagination and probably the interest in your work, at the same time fall short on the description and the readers imagination hasn't enough to be effective in creating the story in their heads. Get the balance wrong and your story may fail.In works of narrative (especially fictional), the literary element setting includes the historical moment in time and geographic location in which a story takes place, and helps initiate the main backdrop and mood for a story. Setting has been referred to as story world or milieu to include a context (especially society) beyond the immediate surroundings of the story. Elements of setting may include culture, historical period, geography, and hour. Along with the plot, character, theme, and style, setting is considered one of the fundamental components of fiction.
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God Bless
Most significantly successful authors have written about places they are familiar with or that they've at least visited. The people I have immense respect for are the SF writers where that option doesn't exist in the physical world. However, having said that, if you set your SF novel on this planet then you can use a familiar setting. In Cessation I used my local area which has been identified by a reader. In short your acquired knowledge is a gold mine of experiences. The gratifying factor was that my reader could identify the places I was writing about which led to a discussion around types of imagination. In short some people will have their imaginations triggered by the written word taking them to the places that the writer is trying to have them see, and others are incapable of that level of imagining. As I said yesterday in the development of minor characters, it is all a case of balance. If you give too much description then you steal the need to use imagination and probably the interest in your work, at the same time fall short on the description and the readers imagination hasn't enough to be effective in creating the story in their heads. Get the balance wrong and your story may fail.In works of narrative (especially fictional), the literary element setting includes the historical moment in time and geographic location in which a story takes place, and helps initiate the main backdrop and mood for a story. Setting has been referred to as story world or milieu to include a context (especially society) beyond the immediate surroundings of the story. Elements of setting may include culture, historical period, geography, and hour. Along with the plot, character, theme, and style, setting is considered one of the fundamental components of fiction.
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God Bless
January 4, 2014
Writing - Getting over Christmas
Well that's it! Christmas has gone from my humble apartment. It is supposedly bad luck if you don't take the decorations down by the 6th January. Some say it's bad luck if you take them down before, well I struggle to see the reason for keeping them up much after New Year's Day. It has been okay, rather like the last few, euphemistically termed 'quiet'.
[image error]I woke this morning with the thought that writing stories is a bit of a balancing act. I was considering the amount of detail to include regarding a new character that I've introduced into the latest Steele novel, Most Wanted Artefact. The balance is between getting on with the tale, rather like taking away the decorations and getting on with the new year, and providing sufficient detail for the character to be three dimensional. It also depends on how important the character is but then that is not necessary under the writer's control. Some characters refuse to be minor no matter what your intention is when you include them in your tale. One such character in the Steele novels is Ethan Small.
[image error]Ethan Small entered the Steele stories as a bit of a delinquent teenager that Patrick Steele was persuaded to take on by another of his staff. He accompanied Steele on a meeting in York (The Biter Bit) and got in the way of a bullet meant for his boss. Ethan ended up losing the use of his legs with the ensuing traumas for the injured lad and Steele's feelings of guilt. Over the next couple of stories Ethan turned himself into a bit of a geek with computers and security measures for Steele's properties and has become an essential member of the team.
Watch these minor characters but keep them interesting.
RIP Phil Everly
[image error]Phil Everly (1939 - 2014)
Half of the Everly brothers passed away. Their music was iconic although personally I was never that taken. It is always sad when someone dies but that action is inevitable, I just hope he enjoyed his life and that his family remember the happy times.
God Bless
[image error]I woke this morning with the thought that writing stories is a bit of a balancing act. I was considering the amount of detail to include regarding a new character that I've introduced into the latest Steele novel, Most Wanted Artefact. The balance is between getting on with the tale, rather like taking away the decorations and getting on with the new year, and providing sufficient detail for the character to be three dimensional. It also depends on how important the character is but then that is not necessary under the writer's control. Some characters refuse to be minor no matter what your intention is when you include them in your tale. One such character in the Steele novels is Ethan Small.
[image error]Ethan Small entered the Steele stories as a bit of a delinquent teenager that Patrick Steele was persuaded to take on by another of his staff. He accompanied Steele on a meeting in York (The Biter Bit) and got in the way of a bullet meant for his boss. Ethan ended up losing the use of his legs with the ensuing traumas for the injured lad and Steele's feelings of guilt. Over the next couple of stories Ethan turned himself into a bit of a geek with computers and security measures for Steele's properties and has become an essential member of the team.
Watch these minor characters but keep them interesting.
RIP Phil Everly
[image error]Phil Everly (1939 - 2014)
Half of the Everly brothers passed away. Their music was iconic although personally I was never that taken. It is always sad when someone dies but that action is inevitable, I just hope he enjoyed his life and that his family remember the happy times.
God Bless
January 3, 2014
Writing - Another new start.
No I'm not still talking about the new year, or a new book, or a restart of Most Wanted Artefact but a new/old computer. After I had completed the critical reboot I virtually had a new computer and there is something refreshing about that. However, sadly I have made some mistakes in rebooting in the way of forgetting to back up one or two things, like contacts and photographs.
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This new starting becomes a bit of a pain after a number of years. Talking this evening to a man around 15 years younger than me who couldn't appreciate why I didn't go out and have a 'session' on New Year's Eve. Oh I went out with a mate for an hour or so, we had a few drinks and I was home in bed by 11:30. This guy couldn't understand that even though retired I didn't want to waste a day feeling unwell because I'd drunk too much the night before. That is not to say that I hadn't done so in the past. I remember falling out of a taxi in Blackpool, ending up in a fight in Brian London's 007 club and spending most of New Year's Day feeling like throwing up. You just reach a point when that is not the best way to enjoy yourself.
It's a little like the first steps in writing. You produce a few thousand words re-read and start re-writing - starting again! You end up convincing yourself that what you are writing isn't good enough. The writing process is not like that! I am writing this blog to try and help new writers. I like to think of writing as being like painting, something that I have dabbled with.
The fact is it is quite daunting when you are faced with a blank sheet of paper. What you have to do is make the first mark. Like eating the proverbial elephant, it is only possible to begin one bite at a time. You have to trust in the source of your inspiration. I am assuming that you have had an idea and the feeling that you want to write it down and share it with others. Write it! If you feel the need to check it over then CHECK IT. Check it for grammatical errors, style and other technical stuff but leave the content alone at this stage. Then go on and continue your idea. Keep writing like you would keep painting until the job is finished. Have some one else proof read your work and refine it as a result of that exercise but be proud of what you have achieved. I'm not saying be satisfied that you can't do a better job next time.Never forget that telling stories is an art, it's personal and even though your early efforts may not satisfy practice makes perfect.
God Bless
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This new starting becomes a bit of a pain after a number of years. Talking this evening to a man around 15 years younger than me who couldn't appreciate why I didn't go out and have a 'session' on New Year's Eve. Oh I went out with a mate for an hour or so, we had a few drinks and I was home in bed by 11:30. This guy couldn't understand that even though retired I didn't want to waste a day feeling unwell because I'd drunk too much the night before. That is not to say that I hadn't done so in the past. I remember falling out of a taxi in Blackpool, ending up in a fight in Brian London's 007 club and spending most of New Year's Day feeling like throwing up. You just reach a point when that is not the best way to enjoy yourself.
It's a little like the first steps in writing. You produce a few thousand words re-read and start re-writing - starting again! You end up convincing yourself that what you are writing isn't good enough. The writing process is not like that! I am writing this blog to try and help new writers. I like to think of writing as being like painting, something that I have dabbled with.
The fact is it is quite daunting when you are faced with a blank sheet of paper. What you have to do is make the first mark. Like eating the proverbial elephant, it is only possible to begin one bite at a time. You have to trust in the source of your inspiration. I am assuming that you have had an idea and the feeling that you want to write it down and share it with others. Write it! If you feel the need to check it over then CHECK IT. Check it for grammatical errors, style and other technical stuff but leave the content alone at this stage. Then go on and continue your idea. Keep writing like you would keep painting until the job is finished. Have some one else proof read your work and refine it as a result of that exercise but be proud of what you have achieved. I'm not saying be satisfied that you can't do a better job next time.Never forget that telling stories is an art, it's personal and even though your early efforts may not satisfy practice makes perfect.
God Bless
January 2, 2014
Writing - Critical reboot & first footing
Will it really?I've been pretty fortunate over the years with my technological devices and today was the first time that I had to get 'a man' out to my laptop. Scary prices to have a real person coming through the door! After two hours of prodding and poking to discover the reason for my intermittent loss of broadband connection he suggested a critical reboot. Even though I have done it somewhat successfully it still chills me to the bone to type the term. It is not a quick fix but it seems to have worked thank goodness.
First footing
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In Scottish and Northern English folklore, the first-foot, also known in Manx Gaelic as quaaltagh or qualtagh , is the first person to enter the household of a home on New Year's Day and a bringer of good fortune for the coming year.Although it is acceptable in many places for the first-footer to be a resident of the house, they must not be in the house at the stroke of midnight in order to first-foot (thus going out of the house after midnight and then coming back in to the same house is not considered to be first-footing). The first-foot is traditionally a tall, dark-haired male; a female or fair-haired male are in some places regarded as unlucky.I remember being put out of the house before midnight to shiver on the steps, clutching a lump of coal and awaiting midnight to pass. I am not tall, dark or handsome so it is hardly surprising that our luck was no better, or worse, than the next fellows. My first foot was the computer guy and if the rules follow my luck won't be any better this year!God Bless
Poetry Thursday 91 - Newness
A bit of a mixture today.
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I had a day off yesterday and so this post is late. In fact it is a work in progress. I wanted to write something for the New Year but as it can be a difficult time when you are on your own the thoughts were rather negative. However, the sun is shining this morning! The poem that I'm writing is a little raw but here is the first verse and a bit!
2014
A New Year begins once againmore days to live through.Challenges to confront and overcome.Twelve more months and 52 weeks.Days long and short, dark and light.Hopefully a time to be lived in peaceand one's prosperity increased a might.
The years roll on with increased rapidityage advances in parallel
A rare and satisfying occurrence.
John Rhys-Vivian I don't usually read novels, as I am normally a non-fiction reader. However, this book was so enthralling that I think it could make a fabulous TV programme or series. I was totally involved in the plot and in its ending. Well done, it deserves all the plaudits that it gets.
God Bless
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I had a day off yesterday and so this post is late. In fact it is a work in progress. I wanted to write something for the New Year but as it can be a difficult time when you are on your own the thoughts were rather negative. However, the sun is shining this morning! The poem that I'm writing is a little raw but here is the first verse and a bit!
2014
A New Year begins once againmore days to live through.Challenges to confront and overcome.Twelve more months and 52 weeks.Days long and short, dark and light.Hopefully a time to be lived in peaceand one's prosperity increased a might.
The years roll on with increased rapidityage advances in parallel
A rare and satisfying occurrence.
John Rhys-Vivian I don't usually read novels, as I am normally a non-fiction reader. However, this book was so enthralling that I think it could make a fabulous TV programme or series. I was totally involved in the plot and in its ending. Well done, it deserves all the plaudits that it gets.
God Bless
December 31, 2013
Writing - Happy New Year
I started writing my 6th Steele novel which is entitled 'Most Wanted Artefacts' but which is under review. The reason it is in that state is because I read a piece of advice this week which suggested that a title should go some way to revealing what's inside the cover. My own feeling is that you shouldn't be too transparent but having said that I can, sin of sins, be rather too obtuse. At the moment of writing this I am thinking 'Wanted - Artefacts' but I need to think long on this one.Progress with this new Steele novel is slow but I finished a third chapter yesterday. In fact I did quite a lot of writing based on inspiration that struck me at around 4am that morning. It didn't come to me in a flash but over about half an hour and I liked what I was thinking. I handed the ideas over to the characters and off we went. In fact the central direction of the whole book is set, not the detail, that is up to the protagonists, but I'm sure that they will do a great job.
Another 1500 words today.
A New Year
I uploaded the latest submission I made to Readwave the other day which was about Resolutions and my true feelings are there for all to read. Simply, tomorrow is just another day and the need to change behaviour can be tackled any day of the year. When all said and done almost 20% of the world's population celebrates New Year on a different day!
Still I wish you all that which you wish for yourselves.
Problem
There is a problem loading my blog which I have yet to find the source of and so when you try to load it there is a delay of around 30 seconds before it eventually opens. It does work though so please be patient.
God Bless
December 30, 2013
A Tuesday Recipe - Crispy pork with egg fried rice
Again at this time of year I was looking for something different from turkey and all the trimmings. I found the recipe for crispy pork and as I like Chinese crispy duck, thought I'd have a go. As always it is important that we get the best value with our food so choosing belly pork rather than a more expensive cut is important as is being creative with combinations. Once I'd roasted the pork I tried the meat with roasted vegetables and then with balsamic roasted veg before the match up with egg fried rice.
Cubes of crispy pork served with egg fried rice all of my own construction. If you like pork put fancy doing it a little differently then this is an easy way to spice up a joint. It requires a long period of preparation because you have to start the day before the meal is required but it is not difficult! Well I managed so it can't be. The egg fried rice is very straight forward as well but the full recipe is on the relevant tab.
This is the same joint of pork, sliced and served with the balsamic roast vegetables. Again very easy. I mixed 1tbsp of balsamic vinegar with 2 of olive oil, salt and black pepper and roast at 175 Celsius for about 45 minutes. You could spice these up as well in any way that suits your palate.
God Bless
December 29, 2013
Writing - Marketing and Readwave
A good service at church this morning and an interesting conversation with someone who has bought all of my books.
Feedback to a writer is rather like gold dust. This morning one of my readers said a number of things about my books which was wonderful. Firstly, on 'Cessation', he said that he could see it making a successful TV series. Secondly, on the Steele novels, he felt that he could picture the places I've included in the stories.Two simple statements of appreciation that have made my day. Perhaps I'm easily pleased but they were both unsolicited and made me feel that my work is appreciated. So why is it so difficult to have 'fans' actually post their feelings on review sites? I know there are plenty of friends and relatives who say that they've enjoyed reading my work and yet the things said to my face are not being put down to encourage others to sample my work.
Readwave submission
A half-hearted Resolution
We’ve all been there. Your nearest and dearest, or work colleague, perhaps a friend will ask the dreaded question,“Have you made a New Year’s Resolution?” I don’t know about you but the accumulated years of making resolutions that have lasted such a short time have sickened me to the ‘game’. Over the last three or four years I’ve given up altogether, or publically at least. If anyone asks the simple answer is ‘No’ and that actually serves two purposes. Firstly, I don’t beat myself up in the event of failure, and secondly, if I have something I want to change about my behaviour it is internalised. The word behaviour is the key of course. You hear people say that they can’t change in all sorts of ways and yet they are probably the same folk who put themselves through the resolution process. It is my firm belief that people can change but it is something which is very difficult to achieve. Hence the high failure level in such situations as re-offending rates in criminals. For a person to change a firmly embedded behaviour takes great internal resolve and probably some quality support. So having explained how difficult it is to create a resolution that is achievable I am going to look at some areas that I feel are rewarding and with a reasonable chance of success. I watched an interview on Christmas morning on TV between a presenter and an officer in the Salvation Army. The officer’s wish was that the feelings of good will generated by Christmas should pertain throughout the year. It was such a simple statement and yet I found it to be really powerful. When you consider how things are at Christmas it probably comes from the fact that we are almost ‘forced’ to think about other people before ourselves. In reality that may be linked to what we can get them for Christmas presents, but we are still thinking about others. I have a theory that the process of considering others for this small fraction of our year spills over into how we think of all other people and so you see examples of a higher level of respect and generosity between people at this time. As the officer in the Salvation Army wished these behaviours can last longer than just a few days and can be achieved through some very simple steps. I attended a business management course a number of years ago and some of the lessons have been retained. Take driving for example. It was pointed out that we were probably not very nice to other drivers when we get behind the wheels of our cars. There is a pretty good chance that many drivers harbour negative thoughts towards others they perceive as being in the way, causing a delay or break the rules of the road. All those negative thoughts are internalised and they make you feel bad! One strategy to help overcome the negative feelings is to give way to three other drivers on every journey that you take. It could be letting someone into the line of traffic in front of you, giving way at a junction or many other situations. I’ve tried it and you feel less stressed, but also you often receive a grateful acknowledgement and that feels good. One other aspect that I’ve noticed is that if you let someone into a line that person will often do the same for another driver so the good will spreads. The second aspect of this humanist sort of resolution would be simply try being nicer to others. Show respect and you will receive respect. So these would be the resolutions I would hope others will adopt for 2014 but what of my own? Well as I said earlier I am no longer sharing and hence the title of this piece. I have aims and ideas which are really resolutions but which will not be shared, but I have one which is to do with writing and which I have already made public to a degree. I actually published it on a fellow writer’s blog and only a few hours ago. My writing sort of resolution is to exercise more imagination. It would be easy to say that if you write stories you are exercising imagination but there are exercises that can be undertaken that allow a writer simply to imagine. Writing poetry is one of those exercises. If you wish to use your imagination and the pictures that form in your mind then write the down. Don’t worry too much about format just write what you see in your mind and enjoy the freedom.Happy New Year.
God Bless
Feedback to a writer is rather like gold dust. This morning one of my readers said a number of things about my books which was wonderful. Firstly, on 'Cessation', he said that he could see it making a successful TV series. Secondly, on the Steele novels, he felt that he could picture the places I've included in the stories.Two simple statements of appreciation that have made my day. Perhaps I'm easily pleased but they were both unsolicited and made me feel that my work is appreciated. So why is it so difficult to have 'fans' actually post their feelings on review sites? I know there are plenty of friends and relatives who say that they've enjoyed reading my work and yet the things said to my face are not being put down to encourage others to sample my work.
Readwave submission
A half-hearted Resolution
We’ve all been there. Your nearest and dearest, or work colleague, perhaps a friend will ask the dreaded question,“Have you made a New Year’s Resolution?” I don’t know about you but the accumulated years of making resolutions that have lasted such a short time have sickened me to the ‘game’. Over the last three or four years I’ve given up altogether, or publically at least. If anyone asks the simple answer is ‘No’ and that actually serves two purposes. Firstly, I don’t beat myself up in the event of failure, and secondly, if I have something I want to change about my behaviour it is internalised. The word behaviour is the key of course. You hear people say that they can’t change in all sorts of ways and yet they are probably the same folk who put themselves through the resolution process. It is my firm belief that people can change but it is something which is very difficult to achieve. Hence the high failure level in such situations as re-offending rates in criminals. For a person to change a firmly embedded behaviour takes great internal resolve and probably some quality support. So having explained how difficult it is to create a resolution that is achievable I am going to look at some areas that I feel are rewarding and with a reasonable chance of success. I watched an interview on Christmas morning on TV between a presenter and an officer in the Salvation Army. The officer’s wish was that the feelings of good will generated by Christmas should pertain throughout the year. It was such a simple statement and yet I found it to be really powerful. When you consider how things are at Christmas it probably comes from the fact that we are almost ‘forced’ to think about other people before ourselves. In reality that may be linked to what we can get them for Christmas presents, but we are still thinking about others. I have a theory that the process of considering others for this small fraction of our year spills over into how we think of all other people and so you see examples of a higher level of respect and generosity between people at this time. As the officer in the Salvation Army wished these behaviours can last longer than just a few days and can be achieved through some very simple steps. I attended a business management course a number of years ago and some of the lessons have been retained. Take driving for example. It was pointed out that we were probably not very nice to other drivers when we get behind the wheels of our cars. There is a pretty good chance that many drivers harbour negative thoughts towards others they perceive as being in the way, causing a delay or break the rules of the road. All those negative thoughts are internalised and they make you feel bad! One strategy to help overcome the negative feelings is to give way to three other drivers on every journey that you take. It could be letting someone into the line of traffic in front of you, giving way at a junction or many other situations. I’ve tried it and you feel less stressed, but also you often receive a grateful acknowledgement and that feels good. One other aspect that I’ve noticed is that if you let someone into a line that person will often do the same for another driver so the good will spreads. The second aspect of this humanist sort of resolution would be simply try being nicer to others. Show respect and you will receive respect. So these would be the resolutions I would hope others will adopt for 2014 but what of my own? Well as I said earlier I am no longer sharing and hence the title of this piece. I have aims and ideas which are really resolutions but which will not be shared, but I have one which is to do with writing and which I have already made public to a degree. I actually published it on a fellow writer’s blog and only a few hours ago. My writing sort of resolution is to exercise more imagination. It would be easy to say that if you write stories you are exercising imagination but there are exercises that can be undertaken that allow a writer simply to imagine. Writing poetry is one of those exercises. If you wish to use your imagination and the pictures that form in your mind then write the down. Don’t worry too much about format just write what you see in your mind and enjoy the freedom.Happy New Year.
God Bless
December 28, 2013
Writing - Things we didn't know last year
Here's my almanac of the best of 2013.
1. It would have taken 2.5 million seagulls to lift James's giant peach into the air, not the 501 that Roald Dahl suggested.
2. Hot drinks taste different according to the cup colour.
3. It's easier to pick wet things up with wrinkled fingers - suggesting an evolutionary reason for getting "prune fingers" in the bath.
4. There are two firms in the world cloning polo ponies.
This worries me.
5. Two per cent of Europeans lack the genes for smelly armpits
6. Horse-eating is called Hippophagy.
Very apt for 2013
7. Women look their oldest every Wednesday at 3.30pm.
Would any man dare to point that out???
8. Wines with animals on the label are known as "critter wines" in the US.
9. Female hawksbill turtles can store sperm for 75 days.
10. Fidgeting is good for men's concentration but bad for women's.
11. Workers at Amazon's warehouse in Rugeley walk past a life-sized cardboard image of a blonde woman who says: "This is the best job I have ever had!"
Brain washing is alive and well.
12. Haribos are so-named because of founder Hans Riegel and his hometown Bonn.
13. Drone operators experience post-traumatic stress at the same rate as combat pilots.
14. Nigel Farage writes a column for Total Sea Fishing magazine.
That's a fishy story.
15. Monkeys avoid selfish people.
16. "Aunt" is the most popular pornographic search term in Syria.
Their aunties must be a lot younger than mine!
17. Plants lace their nectar with caffeine to keep pollinators loyal.
18. Sarah Greene used to bite Peter Duncan's ankles to distract him during Blue Peter cookery demos.
So that's what goes on behind those counters. I remember that Johnny Craddock used to crouch down behind the counter for a drink while his wife Fanny was cooking.
19. There are more deer in the UK now than at any time since the last Ice Age.
20. Some Norwegians feel strongly about whether firewood is stacked bark up or bark down.
21. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak belonged to a group of hackers and hobbyists called the Homebrew Computer Club.
22. At a Swedish dinner party you should never fold your napkin and put it on the table before the hostess has done so.
23. Bill Bailey bought a live owl in a Chinese restaurant to take it off the menu.
I like owls as well but if you took this to the nth degree?
24. Women really are satisfied by deep, husky voices.
25. Midsomer Murders is massive in Denmark.
26. "Lucifer" and "." (full stop) are banned baby names in New Zealand.
27. Using "don't" and "won't" correctly in online dating messages boosts response rates by more than a third.
28. The French call a walkie-talkie a talkie-walkie.
29. 6x8 is the multiplication children get wrong most while 9x12 takes longest.
30. Time doesn't fly when you're having fun (we just remember a lot more detail than normal after enjoying something so think it went quickly).
31. Babies learn to grimace in the womb so they can show they are unhappy after birth.
32. Sleep deprived men think women are more amorous than they actually are.
That explains a lot!
33. Until recently the US Navy had a requirement that all official messages be sent in capital letters.
34. "God's bones" was the sweariest expression in medieval times.
35. Qantas' Sydney to Dallas service is the world's longest commercial flight at 8,568 miles (13,790 km).
36. The French had no official word for French kissing… until now. It's "galocher".
37. The film Life of Brian remains banned in parts of Germany, but only on Good Friday.
38. Ampersand was once an actual letter which followed the letter Z in the Latin alphabet.
39. There are only two escalators in the entire state of Wyoming. Elevators are more commonly used.
40. The Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams is the most frequently misquoted song in the UK.
41. McDonald's drive-thru staff won't serve people on horseback.
Surely prejudice.
42. You could drive on the left or right in the Austro-Hungarian Empire.
Its a bit like that round London
43. The least common PIN code is 8068.
This is not some devious plot to break into your bank accounts.
44. Bookshop customers are six times more likely to buy romance or cookery titles when they can smell chocolate.
45. Scientists still don't really know how bicycles work.
46. Women who fear being forced to marry abroad are advised to hide a spoon in their underwear.
Why?
47. There's a Kenyan tradition of running naked at night.
From what?
48. The first recorded incorrect use of the word "literally" was in 1769.
49. Chimpanzees and orangutans swim a form of the breast stroke.
50. Polyamorous people have invented a word to indicate the opposite feeling of jealousy - compersion.
51. Wearing camouflage clothing is an offence in Barbados.
Holiday makers be warned.
52. Bill Clinton was taught a jujitsu move by his aides to prevent Yassar Arafat hugging him for the cameras.
53. Cuban rescue workers use sniffer rabbits to find people in collapsed buildings.
At least when they've retired you can eat them!
54. The Soviet Union published a children's book of Stalin's five-year plan.
It was reportedly the best cure for infantile insomnia.
55. Some species of marsupials mate with such vigour and intensity that it kills them.
Brings new meaning to the phrase 'I'm f...ed'
56. Medieval French cookery book Le Viandier de Taillevent contains a recipe for plucking and basting a live chicken, which is then rocked to sleep and placed on a platter beside two roasted chickens.
An absolute cracker - watch my recipe page!
57. A universal law of urination means that elephants, cows, goats and dogs all take roughly 21 seconds to empty their bladders.
58. In Scrabble, a Benjamin is a three-letter extension to the front of a five-letter word.
59. A man's walking pace slows by 7% for wives and girlfriends but not for other women, and increases if walking with another man.
60. The word "get" went out of fashion in books between 1940 and the 1960s.
It's surprising how enduring education can be. I am still reluctant to use that word.
God Bless
1. It would have taken 2.5 million seagulls to lift James's giant peach into the air, not the 501 that Roald Dahl suggested.
2. Hot drinks taste different according to the cup colour.
3. It's easier to pick wet things up with wrinkled fingers - suggesting an evolutionary reason for getting "prune fingers" in the bath.
4. There are two firms in the world cloning polo ponies.This worries me.
5. Two per cent of Europeans lack the genes for smelly armpits
6. Horse-eating is called Hippophagy.
Very apt for 2013
7. Women look their oldest every Wednesday at 3.30pm.
Would any man dare to point that out???
8. Wines with animals on the label are known as "critter wines" in the US.
9. Female hawksbill turtles can store sperm for 75 days.
10. Fidgeting is good for men's concentration but bad for women's.
11. Workers at Amazon's warehouse in Rugeley walk past a life-sized cardboard image of a blonde woman who says: "This is the best job I have ever had!"
Brain washing is alive and well.
12. Haribos are so-named because of founder Hans Riegel and his hometown Bonn.
13. Drone operators experience post-traumatic stress at the same rate as combat pilots.
14. Nigel Farage writes a column for Total Sea Fishing magazine.
That's a fishy story.
15. Monkeys avoid selfish people.
16. "Aunt" is the most popular pornographic search term in Syria.
Their aunties must be a lot younger than mine!
17. Plants lace their nectar with caffeine to keep pollinators loyal.
18. Sarah Greene used to bite Peter Duncan's ankles to distract him during Blue Peter cookery demos.
So that's what goes on behind those counters. I remember that Johnny Craddock used to crouch down behind the counter for a drink while his wife Fanny was cooking.
19. There are more deer in the UK now than at any time since the last Ice Age.
20. Some Norwegians feel strongly about whether firewood is stacked bark up or bark down.
21. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak belonged to a group of hackers and hobbyists called the Homebrew Computer Club.
22. At a Swedish dinner party you should never fold your napkin and put it on the table before the hostess has done so.
23. Bill Bailey bought a live owl in a Chinese restaurant to take it off the menu.
I like owls as well but if you took this to the nth degree?
24. Women really are satisfied by deep, husky voices.
25. Midsomer Murders is massive in Denmark.
26. "Lucifer" and "." (full stop) are banned baby names in New Zealand.
27. Using "don't" and "won't" correctly in online dating messages boosts response rates by more than a third.
28. The French call a walkie-talkie a talkie-walkie.
29. 6x8 is the multiplication children get wrong most while 9x12 takes longest.
30. Time doesn't fly when you're having fun (we just remember a lot more detail than normal after enjoying something so think it went quickly).
31. Babies learn to grimace in the womb so they can show they are unhappy after birth.
32. Sleep deprived men think women are more amorous than they actually are.
That explains a lot!
33. Until recently the US Navy had a requirement that all official messages be sent in capital letters.
34. "God's bones" was the sweariest expression in medieval times.
35. Qantas' Sydney to Dallas service is the world's longest commercial flight at 8,568 miles (13,790 km).
36. The French had no official word for French kissing… until now. It's "galocher".
37. The film Life of Brian remains banned in parts of Germany, but only on Good Friday.
38. Ampersand was once an actual letter which followed the letter Z in the Latin alphabet.
39. There are only two escalators in the entire state of Wyoming. Elevators are more commonly used.
40. The Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams is the most frequently misquoted song in the UK.
41. McDonald's drive-thru staff won't serve people on horseback.
Surely prejudice.
42. You could drive on the left or right in the Austro-Hungarian Empire.
Its a bit like that round London
43. The least common PIN code is 8068.
This is not some devious plot to break into your bank accounts.
44. Bookshop customers are six times more likely to buy romance or cookery titles when they can smell chocolate.
45. Scientists still don't really know how bicycles work.
46. Women who fear being forced to marry abroad are advised to hide a spoon in their underwear.
Why?
47. There's a Kenyan tradition of running naked at night.
From what?
48. The first recorded incorrect use of the word "literally" was in 1769.
49. Chimpanzees and orangutans swim a form of the breast stroke.
50. Polyamorous people have invented a word to indicate the opposite feeling of jealousy - compersion.
51. Wearing camouflage clothing is an offence in Barbados.
Holiday makers be warned.
52. Bill Clinton was taught a jujitsu move by his aides to prevent Yassar Arafat hugging him for the cameras.
53. Cuban rescue workers use sniffer rabbits to find people in collapsed buildings.
At least when they've retired you can eat them!
54. The Soviet Union published a children's book of Stalin's five-year plan.
It was reportedly the best cure for infantile insomnia.
55. Some species of marsupials mate with such vigour and intensity that it kills them.
Brings new meaning to the phrase 'I'm f...ed'
56. Medieval French cookery book Le Viandier de Taillevent contains a recipe for plucking and basting a live chicken, which is then rocked to sleep and placed on a platter beside two roasted chickens.
An absolute cracker - watch my recipe page!
57. A universal law of urination means that elephants, cows, goats and dogs all take roughly 21 seconds to empty their bladders.
58. In Scrabble, a Benjamin is a three-letter extension to the front of a five-letter word.
59. A man's walking pace slows by 7% for wives and girlfriends but not for other women, and increases if walking with another man.
60. The word "get" went out of fashion in books between 1940 and the 1960s.
It's surprising how enduring education can be. I am still reluctant to use that word.
God Bless
December 27, 2013
Writing - When the stardust settles. Dreams
What follows is a bit of a dream and then an actual one.
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'Will work for food'
So a week ago I slept in, was late getting to the supermarket and ended up in the crowded aisles being bumped and barged by sweet, but determined, little old ladies and their trolleys. The french have the greatest name for supermarket trolleys - chariots! (Pronounced without the 'ts'). I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.After a broken night due to howling wind, outside, and rain lashing on the windows I leaped up at 07:20, showered and charged off to the supermarket for opening time at 08:00. It was deserted!!!!
So the magic dust is over and done with, presents delivered and overindulgence fully partaken of, so what do we do now? Go back to normal? Or perhaps think about making some small changes in our lives. In writing this I'm not trying to preach any religion or moralise unnecessarily, but more to help us all feel better about the one life we have. Just two actions are necessary,
1. Save for next Christmas beginning now.
2. Be nicer to people.
These two points are ACTIONS not passive statements. You don't have to be grand, as I am often known to say you eat the elephant in the room one mouthful at a time. For example,
Saving - put money away each week £1 will more than pay for the majority of the food for next year buy your Xmas cards now - 40p for ten today that were £2 a week ago wrapping paper is cheaper too
Be nice - this can be achieved in simple acts such as if you drive give way to people 3 times in one day open doors for men or women smile more
Really that's just me hoping that people want to feel better in this hectic materialistic world.
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Dreams
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I had the strangest dream last night. This is not a story!!!! In fact if it were a piece of art it would rank among a piece of Salvador Dali type work. I have thought about the dream on several occasions throughout this morning and it makes no sense. Here goes.
First of all you have to fill your mind with the capacity for curiosity as it is this human behavioural trait that created the starting point. I could see a number of copper pipes feeding into some kind of junction rather like the mess of pipes you find at the back of central heating units. On the junction of these pipes were two red (I dream in colour) 'control' units. This is where things start going awry. These two round units were explosive with a timer lasting 24 hours. They were detachable and operated by flipping a circular disc situated on the top of the unit then turning the disc through 90 degrees. I remember staring at the unit for several minutes with curiosity building. Eventually I pulled off one of the units, then as one probably would, put it back and went away. That was not the end. I went back, left the unit on its mounting but flipped the disc and twisted arming the device. I knew that I had 24 hours to get rid of it!At this point I dimly remember thinking that I was not in my own apartment and that may have been the reason that I allowed my curiosity to rule. Then it was the following day and I knew I only had a few hours to get rid of the armed device. It is necessary to say that no other person was in the house. My mind was churning round different ways of getting rid of the bomb. I could bury it or put it in water. They were the only two solutions that I can remember. Time was getting short.
Enter someone else. I have no idea who the figure represented but he came on a powerful motorbike and both were black. He never spoke. I'm not even sure it was a man. I grabbed the explosive unit and got on the pillion seat and off we went. I have no idea where we were going but we ended up riding on the moors. Time was running out. The route we were driving on was exceedingly tortuous but my driver took us on with confidence once I'd become accustomed to which way to lean when cornering.Then things started becoming rather sketchy. I buried the bomb under the moorland turf and it exploded. Then I threw it in a water filled gulley and it exploded.
That was it - I don't remember anything else. I'm sure that the psychoanalysts will be rubbing their hands with glee at the psychological convolutions above - or not.
In a sense writing stories is rather like dreaming in a more organised way but closer to dreams are poems. Poetry allows writers to stretch their imagination and in any way that suits the moment. Reading the lyrics of Leonard Cohen or the writings of Lewis Carroll is an indication of how great it is to bend normal perspectives on life. So if you write or are thinking of writing just do it there are no right or wrong ways only your way. The technical stuff you will have to take care of and like many skills will improve with practice, as will style development but the core of the work is from you.
God Bless
