David L. Atkinson's Blog, page 115

Poetry Thursday 115 - Football Cliché sonnet

This first poem is an exercise in shuffling. I have followed the World Cup for almost fifty years and commentary has gone from the sublime, one man not seen on camera, to a plethora of ex-players doing their utmost to destroy and reconstruct the English language in the space of a couple of hours.
The sonnet format has provided me with a puzzle in which to try and fit their blatherings.




Football cliché sonnet
Football was always a game of two halves.You have to take advantage of set play.Getting on the front foot stretches the calves.End to end stuff at the end of the day.
A funny old game setting out their stall.For a big lad he is good with his feet.He’d no right to score from that place at all.Tends to go missing when playing in heat.
Such a whole-hearted physical player.Game needs a goal on the stroke of half time.The ideal man for this team on paper.Fervour runs high when it’s squeaky bum time.
Manager armed with a transfer war chestbuys unknowns that he hopes will beat the rest.©David L Atkinson June 2014


The effort below came from a throw away comment by a friend on Facebook.


I hate my alarm clock
In defence of the hapless deviceit sits by the side of your bed,with nerves as cold as ice,coiled ready for the action ahead.
There is no intended malicethe purpose a job well done.No attempt at early dark practice,but going for success in one.
It was you that started the action.Your worry about being in dock.So bottle unreasonable detestationgive thought for the poor alarm clock.©David L Atkinson June 2014


God Bless

Writing - The World Cup is here warts and all.

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I love football and have spent my life attending games and watching the sport on TV but as a purveyor of words the mess that some people make of our language in describing games is frustrating. There are websites about commentators clichés some of which I'll share shortly.
Clichés are expressions, ideas, or elements of an artistic work which has become overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, even to the point of being trite or irritating, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel. 
So there we have it they are overused phrases to the point of becoming annoying and even nonsensical. Let's have some examples.
“It was a great ball in, but there was no one on the end of it.”
Well, it wasn’t a great ball in then!
“Those type of decisions tend to even themselves out over a season.”
Since when did footballer pundits believe in the Buddhist principle of karmic retribution?
“He’s found it hard to settle into the pace of the Premier League.”
His Argentinian wife hates living in Sunderland.
“Relegation dogfight”
Level on points with three games to go.
“But will he like it on a wet Wednesday night up at Newcastle?”
Guaranteed comment after an impressive début from Arsenal’s new foreign signing.
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There are shed loads of clichés about all sorts of events and it's interesting from a writer's point of view to think about the reasons behind their usage. Fairly obviously they are meant to be descriptive, they are meant to encapsulate emotion, and they're meant to be smart. There is also a certain degree of the euphemistic included. However, some are just blatantly wrong as in the first example and some are just plain silly like,
'it was a game of two halves'(isn't football always thus?)
All the above is not just me having a go at the beautiful game and those associated with it, but rather airing frustrations that seem to impede the quality of the sport. I was brought up to watch football commentated on by one man who was never seen and with not a single 'expert' in the studio to help me interpret the evidence of my own eyes. (Definition of an expert - an old drip under pressure!)
Having said that, when writing, there may be a place for the well turned cliché. They can take the form of a much used saying by a character in a book. The one that comes to mind immediately is Ian Fleming's phrase given to James Bond regarding his cocktail - 'shaken not stirred'. This has become the catchphrase which in itself has inaccuracies that were pointed out to me by a barman quite recently.

The chap that serves behind the bar in my local informed me that if a cocktail is shaken, the amount of water in the drink cannot be controlled as easily and so they tend to be weaker. Having your cocktail stirred produces a stronger drink as I found out with the Vesper Martini he made me.
Even so giving a central character a cliché/catchphrase may have a positive outcome on marketability. 
Returning to the World Cup theme, I do hope that England do well and if I was a practising wizard I'd do my best to cast a silence spell on the so-called experts in an effort to more fully appreciate the games I watch for myself, without my senses being battered by a plethora of senseless drivel.
God Bless

A Tuesday Recipe - Liven up your salads

If you saw a photograph of me you would know that I've been a salad dodger most of my life. In fact when Lent comes around I firm up my dislike of salad by professing to the Lord that I will not touch green stuff for the full period. The reasons for my dislike of such foods that are supposedly good for the average omnivore? Almost every type of green plant tastes bitter or bland, there doesn't seem to be any middle ground.

Salmon and bacon patties with salad with soy and honey dressing.
The green element of the salad you see on the photo above is rocket which I find the least astringent of salad leaves. Even so the dressing makes this quite sweet. RecipeThe dressing is made from 2 tbsp light soy sauce; 1tbsp olive oil; and 1 tbsp clear honey. (The recipe recommended sesame seed oil but as I didn't have that at home I used etra virgin olive oil.) 
Tuna and pasta salad
The second salad is more my 'salad' dish. I love pasta, in fact most things Italian, but even this can seem bland so I used the above dressing. One factor that is coming more to the fore in my thinking about preparing food is presentation and condition. Again there is rocket with this salad but added at the last minute and tossed on the plate. If you toss it all in the same bowl I find that the leaves tend to adopt a bruised limp look and are less appetising as a result. Similarly if you toss hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes with the rest of the ingredients they break up and seemingly disappear. Part of the process of enjoying a salad must be with a more vibrant looking meal! (After all, the flavours are questionable if not dressed!)Of course there are some additional flavourings as well. I like nutty flavours and so there is a sprinkling of pine nuts over the salad and I cut a rasher of bacon into strips, fried it and topped the salad with those so a kaleidoscope of flavours but a more interesting dish for me!
God Bless

Writing - Matchless haiku

Spot the Difference
Looks are deceivingHeat changes outer presenceInner self the same©David L Atkinson June 2014


Castled
Available as eBook for Kobo, smartphone reading apps and Kindle.Extracts on the relevant Tab above.

God Bless

Writing - Fraud by pen and paper

The pen may well be mightier than the sword. In Victorian times it was certainly more lucrative!


When friend and colleague Bert Carson encouraged letter writing using fountain pen and paper  it was to revive a failing form of communication. In Victorian times it was almost the only form of communication between individuals and so was used and abused a great deal.
Charles Dickens was a good friend to the 'deserving poor', but if tricked or traduced he was famously short on sympathy. In 1850, after discovering that he had made several donations to a man who was later found in good health, and far from dire circumstances, Dickens marched the begging-letter writer to his local magistrate. Aggrieved that the magistrate seemed 'deeply impressed' by this literate rogue - and 'quite charmed to have the agreeable duty of discharging him' - Dickens took aim at his new foe in his magazine Household Words: "He is one of the most shameless frauds and impositions of this time," snarled Dickens, recalling the glut of pathetic appeals that had recently found their way to his home. "In his idleness, his mendacity, and the immeasurable harm he does ... he is more worthy of Norfolk Island than three-fourths of the worst characters who are sent there."

In the late 1830s, the journalist and social investigator James Grant estimated that London's lodging houses were home to at least 250 professional begging-letter writers, the most successful of them able to employ clerks, keep a carriage and earn an income equal to that of a society physician. Grant believed that around a thousand such letters were sent daily and 49 out of every 50 were fraudulent, defrauding the benevolent public of around £50,000 a year - £2 million in today's money.
So, fellow authors, the message is simple, there is power in your words.
God Bless

Writing - 10 things we didn't know last week

Silly snippets of news.

1. The biggest impact of heavy drinking on rugby players' performance is on their jumping prowess.
I have the same problem!
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2. Rats can feel regret.

Oh no I don't!


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3. The playwright Sir David Hare was asked to write and direct two Star Wars films.

The force was obviously not with him.
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4. It's legal in the UK to have a primate as a pet.

The wife?
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5. Drinking strong black coffee cleans your teeth.


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6. The word "fit" to signify a desirable woman was used in Henry Hawley Smart's 1884 horseracing novel From Post to Finish.


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7. Britain's only Costa Rican restaurant is in Whitby.

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8. At the end of the 18th Century, the kind of language used in the Old Bailey barely differed for violent or non-violent crimes - this changed in Victorian times.


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9. South Koreans drink an average of 13.7 shots of liquor a week - the most in the world, twice as much as Russians.

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10. Elizabeth I had a rosier complexion than her traditionally depicted alabaster complexion - her reputed paleness is based on red pigments fading in portraits.


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God Bless

Writing - Full moon on Friday 13th

Tonight there will be a full moon and it is Friday 13th June. These facts are what stories can spring from and may be worth exploration.


It could be wise to keep the vampires at home tonight! Of course there are other factors like soaring temperatures and yesterdays massive solar flares (true) that can affect such things as GPS systems. 
The origins of the number 13 being unlucky are wide and varied, from Norse tales of it being unlucky for 13 people to sit having a meal together, to the Last Supper and beyond. Dan Brown's book The Da Vinci Code linked the number 13 with the Knight's Templar and the number 12 is considered regular and complete - 12 months, 12 Apostles, and 12 hours in the clock day etc., so 13 becomes irregular and incomplete.
So what about the moon? Some theories suggest that the moon influences our behaviour in the same way in which it affects the tide. It exerts influence on the water in our bodies through gravitational pull.Others have suggested that it's the light of the moon that has influence. One study found an alarming increase in the number of animal bites on a full moon.So prevalent is the idea that the moon makes people behave in a bizarre way (hence the term lunacy) that in 2007 extra police were called in to patrol the streets of Brighton when the moon is full.Research by Sussex police concluded there was a rise in the number of violent offences that take place when the moon is full.
So what does that all mean? Don't go to Brighton on Friday 13th!

For writers such coincidences and widely held superstitions can provide the basis for stories, perhaps in this case more of horror and similar genre. However, they can also be used to include inexplicable events of extreme nature in any story. 
Once again this is an example of tapping into your readers personal superstitions and fears which will attract them to your work. It's always good to link make believe to reality.
Also with the factors outlined; solar flares, heat waves, Friday June 13th and a full moon, could inspire a whole story of its own.




Castled is available from Amazon at the slightly increased price of £2.49/$3.99. Just click on the title. Also now available to order from Amazon in paperback.
Books available on Kobo  
God Bless

Writing - Advice to other writers.

I've read a couple of blogs today about what advice you can give to budding writers. I consider myself, in my head, a novice and yet have just published my 7th novel. So it's a toss up as to whether I have anything to offer or maybe I'm just being arrogant. The latter I wouldn't be proud of but nevertheless I am speaking from experience.
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So where to start? Well that's rather like  being faced with the first blank sheet of paper after the decision to write has been made. As you have made a writing decision you must have an idea in mind so think of the words that are the basis for your idea and write them.
Once you've started - do a little bit everyday. Writing requires muscle and they need exercise so even if you only write for ten minutes it is useful exercise and establishes muscle memory.
Try to avoid going back over what you've written too soon. I have heard of writers who never getting beyond the first chapter. I would say write three chapters before re-reading the first. 
Read your work as if you are presenting it to a live audience. It is surprising how quickly you pick up sentences that have errors or even style points that jar.
Enjoy the construction of characters. This aspect of writing is where fiction touches on reality. By creating a character in a story you're playing God. You are the father, the mother, the ancestors, the siblings as well as the collective experiences of the person you have made. If you aren't enjoying the character then make changes or kill them off - it's in your remit.
Then there is the mystical aspect of writing that I have read commentary on from a range of authors so I know its not just me! There comes a point when you cede control to the characters in your story. It is a real feeling of you having lost control of the tale you're writing to the cast who are playing out the action. Don't worry, you have created the scenario, the players and the location and so it is natural for your creation to come to life.
On the other hand you still have to have in mind the experience you are providing your readers. It is necessary to grab them from the first page, to provide suspense and the emotions that will engage your audience. That is important because your are an entertainer.
I recently heard a writer describe the number of self-publishing authors as a tidal wave. So don't think that your first effort will have you sitting back in the lap of luxury. It may do but in the event that it doesn't - keep trying. I wouldn't ever give up trying to interest an agent but I no longer pressure myself into sending submission after submission. 
You have to decide in what format you want to produce your stories. Many self-publishing writers stick to eBooks which is fine but I like to see my work in paperback and so I publish through a London online publisher completelynovel.com which involves a small monthly fee. It's up to you.
Having a proofreader is important. If you know someone who is a reader of books and has an interest in language pray on their good nature. I'm fortunate having two such people who have the time and inclination and they are happy to have a signed copy of the finalised book as payment.




Castled is available from Amazon at the slightly increased price of £2.49/$3.99. Just click on the title.
God Bless

Poetry Thursday 114 - To whom it may concern

A celebration of relaxation and fun.


To Whom It May Concern
Just anticipating the first droplet makes the quality of life seem better.The cool, velvety smoothness makes plain water just seem wetter.As the brown flavours dance across your expectant taste buds the mind is transported.The tranquil sojourn sweeps the arid cells of your body unescorted.
Level falls in your glass.
Interaction is lubricated by its’ luminous glory.Patience and calmness exudes in the assembled company.The body topped by an intelligent, creamy headthat knows to cling on until the body’s almost dead.
Level falls in your glass.
Unfettered bonhomie encourages a repeated impletion.The company argues gently to own blessed restoration.The process begins again with anticipation no less keen,as the servitor refills liquid heaven into receptacles pristine.
Levels replenished.©David L Atkinson June 2014
The title of the above is because if you don't drink hand pulled beer you won't appreciate the heaven you're missing.


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Haiku
Every Sunday we, the choir, line up in the church narthex to follow the crucifer into church. On parade Sundays as last week the children in various uniformed organisations follow the choir carrying their standards, which is risky for the choir!
I was challenged to write an appropriate haiku.

A nasal pennant
flagging Spring worshipfulness
and spiking the brain!


Haiku lends itself to current situations.


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The Pig
The pig, and I have more than an inkling,gives bacon, loin, belly and crackling.With its flesh it should be more careful,its health management is somewhat woeful.©David L Atkinson June 2014





Castled is available from Amazon at the slightly increased price of £2.49/$3.99. Just click on the title.

God Bless

Writing - Song writing

Bicycle in the Rain(to the tune of ‘Flowers in the Rain’ by The Move)
Set off one morning half asleepwent down the stairs into the streetgot on my bike to travel all around.The time was still approaching eightI really couldn’t be that latesped off in the rain that was falling down.
I’m just trying to ride a cycle in the rainfeel the power of the rain making my pace slow.I’m just trying to ride a cycle in the rainfeel the power of the rain making me glow.
So I rose up from my seatpedaled hard - legs feel the heatcouldn’t force the bike to go any faster.Hoping not to get too wetlowered my head into my chestcatching sight of the place that I am after.
I’m just trying to ride a cycle in the rainfeel the power of the rain making my pace slow.I’m just trying to ride a cycle in the rainfeel the power of the rain making me glow.
I felt the rain upon my facethen trickling down in every placeI was close to my own destination.My attitude was all reliefI was full of self-belieffantasizing about congratulations.
I’m just trying to ride a cycle in the rainfeel the power of the rain making my pace slow.I’m just trying to ride a cycle in the rainfeel the power of the rain making me glow.©David L Atkinson June 2014




Castled is available from Amazon at the slightly increased price of £2.99. Just click on the title.
God Bless