Marty Essen's Blog, page 306

Eye of Yak

Marty’s photo of the day #2390: Oh, it’s time to get artsy again—eye of yak.

The post Eye of Yak appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.

From the Liberal Ten Commandments, #10

Imagine if the United States had an egomaniacal president who thought he was smart enough to drop nuclear bombs here and there without negative consequences. What if you could go back to AD 31 and present the people of Galilee with a new liberal version of the Ten Commandments? How would that affect our culture and values today? Would someone who was more qualified to be a cult leader than a president be able to get elected in this new timeline?


 


Those questions and more will be answered in my new science-fiction political-satire, Time Is Irreverent. To whet your appetite I’m going to post some of the commandments over the next few days.


 


Also, here’s how you can win a free copy of Time Is Irreverent:


 


When Donald Trump got elected, my way of dealing with the tragedy was to create my own world, where time travel became an option for giving “President Handley” a career change and dealing with a futuristic United States that had become a strict theocracy. For roughly 3,500 hours, I got to hide in my manuscript with Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon as they crossed the United States on an epic road trip in a 1959 Thunderbird convertible, and travel from 2056 to the time of Christ. I’ve never had so much fun as an author! And now it’s time for my labor of love to leave my laptop and help my readers escape reality, in a delightful adventure.


 


With traditional publishers, a finished manuscript can take a year or more to become a book. Because of the timeliness of my subject, I didn’t want to wait that long. Therefore I’ve entered it in the Kindle Scout program. If I win an Amazon publishing contract, the book will be out in early 2018. Most importantly, I will have the incredible marketing muscle of Amazon behind my book. That can mean the difference between a book that does just okay and one that shoots up the charts.


 




Winners of Kindle Scout campaigns are ultimately determined by the editorial staff at Amazon, but votes from Kindle Scouts can help sway their decision. If you have an Amazon account, you can instantly become a Kindle Scout. Please go to this link and vote for Time Is Irreverent: https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/3CV5BSUQUPB7Y.


 


Your reward for voting is that you will receive a free Kindle copy of my book if I win and get it one week before it goes on-sale to the general public.


 


Even if you don’t read on Kindle, I hope you will vote for Time Is Irreverent. The book will also be available in traditional print format, later in 2018.


 


Thank you!


Marty Essen

The post From the Liberal Ten Commandments, #10 appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.

Anhinga dance

Marty’s photo of the day #2389: Here’s a photo I took in the Everglades. Anhingas are such interesting birds. If you’ve ever watched one rhythmically moving back and forth, you know what I mean.

The post Anhinga dance appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.

Charging Fur Seal

Marty’s photo of the day #2388: This short excerpt from my first book, Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents, explains the shot:

As Olle and the others meandered away, I lagged behind to take some photos. In the midst of setting up a shot, I inadvertently invaded the personal space of a fur seal. He bared his sharp teeth and charged me with a terrifying roar!

I stood tall, raised my hands in the air, and shouted, “I’m big! I’m big!”

Ten feet short of me he stopped, turned, and retreated with a whimper. I had called his bluff.

I wasn’t the first person charged by a fur seal. A few minutes earlier, the same thing had happened to Olle. Having witnessed his stand-tall technique, I copied it, trusting my seal would be as predictable as his was. Luckily, the seal stopped when he did, because another foot or two and I might have violated the rule against defecating on shore landings.

The post Charging Fur Seal appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.

High Jinx n the African Bush

Marty’s photo of the day #2387: High jinx in the African bush! This short excerpt from Cool Creatures, Hot Planet: Exploring the Seven Continents explains the shot:

Our best find of the morning was a Land Rover parked beside a rutty road. One of the other guides had driven his clients into the bush, left the vehicle, and continued on foot.

“I have to leave my calling card,” said Brian as he scanned the ground. “Oh, good! There’s some—and it’s still fresh!”

He reached down with his bare hands, picked up a mountain of elephant dung, and placed it on the driver’s seat. While I’m certain Brian would face retaliation for his “card”—especially if the guide sat on the seat before looking—revenge would have to wait, as we’d soon be flying high above the park.

The post High Jinx n the African Bush appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.

Grope and Vote for Roy Moore!

As Martyman fans know, our hero loves to dress up for the holidays. In fact, just a few minutes ago, Martyman walked into my office and asked if I would take his picture, so he could include it in the thousands of Christmas cards he was mailing out. I was just about to click the shutter button when the Republican Jesus stepped in front and demanded time to give the following public service announcement:

“Hey, it’s the Republican Jesus here! I just want to remind all of my followers in Alabama that even though grabby men exist on both sides of the aisle, Republicans do not apologize or resign like snowflake Democrats. Instead we blame and deny, just as God intended. So remember to Grope and Vote for Roy Moore next Tuesday!

The post Grope and Vote for Roy Moore! appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.

From the Liberal Ten Commandments, #9

Imagine if the United States had an egomaniacal president who thought he was smart enough to drop nuclear bombs here and there without negative consequences. What if you could go back to AD 31 and present the people of Galilee with a new liberal version of the Ten Commandments? How would that affect our culture and values today? Would someone who was more qualified to be a cult leader than a president be able to get elected in this new timeline?


 


Those questions and more will be answered in my new science-fiction political-satire, Time Is Irreverent. To whet your appetite I’m going to post some of the commandments over the next few days.


 


Also, here’s how you can win a free copy of Time Is Irreverent:


 


When Donald Trump got elected, my way of dealing with the tragedy was to create my own world, where time travel became an option for giving “President Handley” a career change and dealing with a futuristic United States that had become a strict theocracy. For roughly 3,500 hours, I got to hide in my manuscript with Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon as they crossed the United States on an epic road trip in a 1959 Thunderbird convertible, and travel from 2056 to the time of Christ. I’ve never had so much fun as an author! And now it’s time for my labor of love to leave my laptop and help my readers escape reality, in a delightful adventure.


 


With traditional publishers, a finished manuscript can take a year or more to become a book. Because of the timeliness of my subject, I didn’t want to wait that long. Therefore I’ve entered it in the Kindle Scout program. If I win an Amazon publishing contract, the book will be out in early 2018. Most importantly, I will have the incredible marketing muscle of Amazon behind my book. That can mean the difference between a book that does just okay and one that shoots up the charts.


 


Winners of Kindle Scout campaigns are ultimately determined by the editorial staff at Amazon, but votes from Kindle Scouts can help sway their decision. If you have an Amazon account, you can instantly become a Kindle Scout. Please go to this link and vote for Time Is Irreverent: https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/3CV5BSUQUPB7Y.


 


Your reward for voting is that you will receive a free Kindle copy of my book if I win and get it one week before it goes on-sale to the general public.


 


Even if you don’t read on Kindle, I hope you will vote for Time Is Irreverent. The book will also be available in traditional print format, later in 2018.


 


Thank you!


Marty Essen

The post From the Liberal Ten Commandments, #9 appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.

Birds along the Great Salt Lake

Marty’s photo of the day #2387: So much of wildlife photography is being at the right place at the right time—and being ready for that moment. I took this photo during the morning, along the shore of the Great Salt Lake.

The post Birds along the Great Salt Lake appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.

From the Liberal Ten Commandments, #8

Imagine if the United States had an egomaniacal president who thought he was smart enough to drop nuclear bombs here and there without negative consequences. What if you could go back to AD 31 and present the people of Galilee with a new liberal version of the Ten Commandments? How would that affect our culture and values today? Would someone who was more qualified to be a cult leader than a president be able to get elected in this new timeline?


 


Those questions and more will be answered in my new science-fiction political-satire, Time Is Irreverent. To whet your appetite I’m going to post some of the commandments over the next few days.


 


Also, here’s how you can win a free copy of Time Is Irreverent:


 


When Donald Trump got elected, my way of dealing with the tragedy was to create my own world, where time travel became an option for giving “President Handley” a career change and dealing with a futuristic United States that had become a strict theocracy. For roughly 3,500 hours, I got to hide in my manuscript with Marty Mann and Nellie Dixon as they crossed the United States on an epic road trip in a 1959 Thunderbird convertible, and travel from 2056 to the time of Christ. I’ve never had so much fun as an author! And now it’s time for my labor of love to leave my laptop and help my readers escape reality, in a delightful adventure.


 


With traditional publishers, a finished manuscript can take a year or more to become a book. Because of the timeliness of my subject, I didn’t want to wait that long. Therefore I’ve entered it in the Kindle Scout program. If I win an Amazon publishing contract, the book will be out in early 2018. Most importantly, I will have the incredible marketing muscle of Amazon behind my book. That can mean the difference between a book that does just okay and one that shoots up the charts.


 


Winners of Kindle Scout campaigns are ultimately determined by the editorial staff at Amazon, but votes from Kindle Scouts can help sway their decision. If you have an Amazon account, you can instantly become a Kindle Scout. Please go to this link and vote for Time Is Irreverent: https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/3CV5BSUQUPB7Y.


 


Your reward for voting is that you will receive a free Kindle copy of my book if I win and get it one week before it goes on-sale to the general public.


 


Even if you don’t read on Kindle, I hope you will vote for Time Is Irreverent. The book will also be available in traditional print format, later in 2018.


 


Thank you!


Marty Essen

The post From the Liberal Ten Commandments, #8 appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.

Metaphorically circling the GOP

Marty’s photo of the day #2386: Readers of my by second book, “Endangered Edens: Exploring the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, Costa Rica, the Everglades, and Puerto Rico,” will recognize this black vulture photo. Just think, eleven months from now millions of these will be metaphorically circling the Republican Party.

The post Metaphorically circling the GOP appeared first on Around the World with Marty Essen.