Marty Essen's Blog, page 301
January 19, 2018
Hollywood actor to narrate Time Is Irreverent
I’m busy working behind the scenes, preparing for the March 1st release of Time Is Irreverent. There are so many exciting things happening that I can’t yet reveal. One of them is the audiobook version of the novel.
My two previous books were nonfiction and photo-intensive. Books with lots of photos are poor candidates for audiobooks. Novels, on the other hand, are ideal—and audiobooks are hot! Rather than read Time Is Irreverent myself, I wanted to get an actual actor to do the reading. Yesterday, I received an email from an actor who loves the book and wants the job. He’s not super-famous, but he’s been in multiple movies and is currently a regular on a popular network television drama.
I’m so geeked about this get! He’s an incredible talent and is perfect for the part. Sorry, I can’t tell you his name . . . just yet.
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Isn’t she a beauty!
Marty’s photo of the day #2430: Five years ago, I was on a speaking tour that took me to the Arizona-California border. During an off-day between gigs, I explored the Mojave National Preserve. One of my finds there was this desert tortoise. Unfortunately desert tortoises are listed as “threatened” under the Endangered Species Act. But as Steve Irwin would say, “Isn’t she a beauty!”
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January 18, 2018
Juvenile badgers
Marty’s photo of the day #2429: I photographed these two juvenile badgers a few years ago, in the same Montana valley I live in. I’m surprised I hadn’t posted this shot before, but then lately every photo I post has been a surprise. Just when I think I’m running out of quality shots, another one catches my eyes and badgers me to post it.
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January 17, 2018
Time Is Irreverent to be published March 1st, 2018
What if you could make a change to history that would eliminate the Spanish Inquisition, American slavery, World War II, global warming, and an egomaniacal US president who thought he was smart enough to drop nuclear bombs here and there without negative consequences? What if that change also made the United States and 5 billion people poof from existence? Would you do it?
When alien time travel specialists, the Krichards, learn of President Handley’s game of dodge the mushroom cloud, they race to Earth to investigate. For them, the question of whether it’s worth it to change history is easy to answer, but they will only proceed if the human they deem best qualified to represent Earth agrees to make the change. Erasing Handley’s nuclear annihilation will require a quick jump to AD 31 to correct an error in history. If the Krichards select a brilliant scientist or an elite athlete for the task, Earth may be in good hands. Instead they select Marty Mann, a mildly successful travel writer whose only superpower is not taking life too seriously. What could possibly go wrong?
Spanning from the Cretaceous period to 2056, Time Is Irreverent is a hilarious, thought-provoking satire, with unpredictable twists, colorful aliens, huge dinosaurs, a smokin’ hot redhead from the future, and a cameo from Jesus Christ himself!
Marty Essen
Arctic Camp
Marty’s photo of the day #2428: Setting up camp in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. I don’t remember what time I took this particular photo, but it could very well be after midnight, because the sun didn’t set while we were there.
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January 16, 2018
The bird formerly known as . . .
Marty’s photo of the day #2427: This is the bird formerly known as “The Blue Bird of Happiness.” Currently he is known as “The Blue Bird of Grumpiness.” He will return to his original name on the day “The Orange Shithole of Divisiveness” leaves office.
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January 15, 2018
January 14, 2018
Trump-based vs. Reality-based
Marty’s photo of the day #2425: Today I offer two descriptions of this photo. One for reality-based humans, and one for Donald Trump and his supporters:
Reality: I took this photo in Zimbabwe.
Trump: I took this photo in a shithole country.
Reality: After a friendly woman braided Deb’s hair for a few dollars, a group of local street performers invited my wife to join them for a dance. As you can see from the smiles, everyone had a great time.
Trump: After a brown woman braided Deb’s hair for drug money, a group of savages forced my wife to join them for a satanic dance in honor of their cannibal god. As you can see from the terror on Deb’s face, and the hungry look on the chief’s face, everyone knew human stew was on the menu.
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January 13, 2018
Donald Trump will never see something like this
Marty’s photo of the day #2424: Remember when kids didn’t need violent video games, 4-wheelers, the latest electronic gadget, helicopter parents, or the constant drone of a television to keep them entertained? Remember when a water puddle and a ball were all that were necessary to put wide smiles on children’s faces? Donald Trump certainly doesn’t, because scenes like that are now rare in the United States. Instead, you’d most likely have to travel to what he’d call a “shithole country” to see such a scene.
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January 12, 2018
And in this corner . . .
Marty’s photo of the day #2423: Fur seals sparring on Aitcho Island, near Antarctica.
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