Freddy MacKay's Blog

So You Think You Can Kill Us - Queers in Visual Media

2019 had been a lot of things for me. But mostly, it was BUSY. Work. Graduate School. Friends. Family. Author Events. One book published (*coughs* sorry *coughs*) in February 2019. Life had been all consuming, especially after my 104 year-old grandpa, whom I helped care for, took a turn for the worse over the summer. 

(I'll miss the old grumpy-gramp. We were a lot alike. We fought for sure. But he was also one of my biggest supporters.) 

One of my outlets when I couldn't form two sentences together was all the queer visual media coming out of Thailand, Taiwan and a couple other places. It was nice see positive queer representation in TV/Movies with a Happy Ending. Something we don't often get in the visual media here because there is still a mentality of "Kill Your Queers"/"Bury Your Gays" in TV and movies in the States—or make the story depressing as hell, then KILL YOUR QUEERS.

Where there issues that rubbed me the wrong way in terms of representation in the media I was watching? Yes. But there are also cultural differences to consider. 

Are those same issues here in the States? Also yes. *looks at American culture, our conversations, and sighs* 

Did I stop watching? Fuck no. 

I needed happy because life was so darn complicated. The one-two combo of work and graduate school wore me and my health way down. I needed something not complicated. 

So, Thai and Taiwanese Queer TV series with Happy Endings it was. Problematic natures and all.

After a particularly disappointing Fall/Winter Season last year, and a particularly horrific ending to one series, I had FEELINGS. LOTS OF FEELINGS. And things to say. I normally avoid saying anything in public about any of these series because... well, the fans. People do not like having others "judge" - I am critiquing, though honestly, yeah, judging, too - what they like. Some groups of fans can be more energetic than others, so... I keep to myself. Normally. This post is coming weeks after those FEELINGS blubbered over and thumped my friends because I was so fucking mad. I have cooled off and finally decided to get it all of my chest. *waits for firestorm* But I was furious.

Fucking furious .

​I quickly identified why I was so mad. The trope used was something I was so used to seeing and I hated it. Absolutely hated SEEING it.

Before I get to the main entree, though, I have a few quibbles to work through that I might as well get off my chest. Go broke or go home, na? No matter what, I know my post is going to upset some people regardless of my intent. While this is about my feelings of what's happening, I can see it being taken personally. Try not to, but no worries if you do.

A lot of Boy's Love visual content has been coming out of certain Asian countries over the last few years, especially Thailand (home away from home) and Taiwan. There is other queer stuff showing up, but mostly, it's BL so that's what I am concentrating on for this post.

Woot! Live Action BL! Yay, right?

I noticed because a queer like me, well, would. Japan had put out some BL anime, even a few movies of their BL way back when, but the live action stuff had a certain ... quality to it. The last few years, Thailand and Taiwan started putting their own stuff out as BL has become more popular there. You have a younger generation influenced, mostly, by what they saw from Japan and a crop of fan fic turned pro writers blossomed. Not unlike what we saw here in the States 20-25 years ago. 

Whole new stories were consumed online. Authors had offers to publish and then offers to make those stories into TV series because they were popular. Squadrons of boys/young men got paired off and marketed (a whole other post and feelings). More visual media with gay (*sighs over the bi-erasure and GFY*) protagonists were made.

At first, it was the Asian markets getting the visual content, then it started coming through Netflix to the States and YouTube (some legal, some not so legal channels) and very few of the books getting translated (legally anyway - different issue, again). More people noticed the TV content. A larger world audience started paying attention.

You might be asking WHERE is ALL of this content? Some of the series are on Netflix. Some are on official YouTube Channels (some subtitled, some not). Some are on VIKI (an app), and some have been tweeted with international links via LINE TV. I will only ever supply legal options because illegal sharing of content kills genre. As a queer, I have a vested interest to see that not happen. (I have a whole post about Yaoi and how it almost died in the States fifteen years ago, so yes, I take it seriously.)

The market? Mostly younger women, but it was not necessarily just them watching.

The clamoring brought better budgets to certain companies producing the visual content. The production quality steadily improved. Some of the actors and choices made in the stories improved.

But most especially, we queers were getting Happy Endings .

Awesome, yeah?

With the good, also came the same issues story-wise we struggle with in the States in terms of gay/queer romance:

Bi-erasure
Trans representation
Strict "Roles"
Gay For You
Racism
Ablism
Magic Dick Trope (Not Joking)
Abusive/Toxic Relationships Romanticized
Rape the Love Interest (*coughs* where ppl like to call it dubious consent, sighs)
Lack of Intimacy (Intimacy does not equal sex ppl!)
Obsession/Possession Issues
Where are the lesbians? 
and more...

The TV series we got coming out? Had various combos of these issues.

Now, you can say, "BUT IT'S FICTION, let me have my escape." 

*siiiiiiggghhhhsssss*

I know it's fiction. Trust me. I do.

I have absolutely no qualms over complex, imperfect characters who try to make good choices but make bad ones too. In fact, I love those characters because they make the story more interesting. The perfect character that does everything right, always makes the right choice, and has had ten years of therapy to properly communicate with everyone is not only boring, but fucking annoying, too. It's an issue I have with YA and NA storytelling - that everyone must always "do the right thing" even the morally dubious or anti-hero type  characters.

*squints* 

I made a lot of dumb choices growing up. Mistakes are part of us. Learning from those, growing, improving when you know better, is good fucking story.

However, marginalized populations that are getting written and produced for profit - because that's what's happening here in BL TV mania - influence how people think about the characters they see and the characters' choices. It also influences, whether the intent is there or not, how people think about certain norms involving those vulnerable populations. Having conversations around those norms is not only important to the people consuming the content but it is also important to the marginalized people actually living their lives and directly affected by the assumptions made.

Books have been having these conversations. Enough of them where there are queer characters all over the spectrum because we are not necessarily the default bad guy anymore. *looks over at coded visual media and sighs* We don't automatically have Sad Endings in books anymore. Our lives are not Tragic. Our sexuality and gender aren't what MAKES the story. We are more than the labels. We are complex, rich characters who happen to be queer and this story is about us. Books, and the authors creating them, are having those conversations. Do you know how good that feels?

That's not to say we don't have problematic shit come up. It does no matter the genre. *dutifully ignores all the trash fires burning sky high right now*

Some of these problematic elements appear that appear in our books also then end up in the BL dramas being made. Conversations about how these elements are indeed influenced by the culture creating the story happen, not a lot in the West because we can be self-centered like that, but they are. That does not give a free dismal to elements portrayed in the media that's coming out. Yes, different cultures are at different points in the conversations, and you have to understand the values and cultural  roots will affect how change happens in that culture. 

Each culture has to address their concerns the best way they know how. *looks at America's dumpster fire* We're not the best at knowing what to do or how to handle every issue. I'm not even sure we know what do for ourselves right now. It's all kinda on fire. Saying a problematic element must be solved X way because that's how we do it is not always translatable culturally.

At the same time, certain problematic stuff is problematic regardless of culture:

Rape
Abusive/Toxic Relationships
Fetishizing Minorities
Abuse of Power
and so on...

So let's look at some of the series that have come out. I can't cover them all, but the highlights are good, na? Plus, this is how a queer who has been schooled and educated in the States perceives them:

Love Sick (Netflix) - high school, fake relationship trope, ensemble cast

This was one of the first big Thai shows that helped kick off the rest in terms of queer representation. The first season is on Netflix and it's actually an ensemble cast where the main characters end up in a same-sex relationship. The second season and the Special are not on Netflix, however.

Problematic Elements:
Femmes are the butt of jokes, though you have some people stick up for them
Gay For You, the "only for him" idea
Bi-erasure, see above
Potty humor related to being gay, how someone farts & goes to the bathroom
The "it's not cheating if he's a guy and I'm a guy" idea
Evil Girlfriend or Bitchy Girls, see above for why it's tiring 
Lack of intimacy (remember, intimacy does not equal sex), you could tell they weren't comfortable touching

What it did well:
The struggle of self-acceptance
Teens making bad choices 
Did not kill off it's queers
Acting was from newbies so they did okay, just okay
Did have a plot other than the romance 
Production quality (better than some)
Normal kids
Season Two gave a Happy Ending

None of the problematic aren't any different than what Yaoi or gay romance has been through. There have been other articles about why these concepts still exist ad nauseam, so I don't feel like getting into here.  The main point is that it wasn't a perfect series. It had a lot of young kids playing roles, which means touching people you don't know could be highly uncomfortable for the kids. Thai culture is such that touching random people you don't know is uncomfortable even if you are affectionate with your friends/family. Touching means a certain amount of familiarity.

Fans of the show have been clamoring for a third season. And it has been announced and backtracked many times. *shrugs*

Side Note: There are a lot of other high school aged BL TV series out there, I am not a big consumer of them because, well, they're in high school. But also, not a ton of them are acquired legally here in the States at the moment.

Sotus (Netflix) - college, enemies to lovers trope, ensemble cast

The first season is on Netflix. Season two and the special is not. This is another Thai show that helped spurn the current production of BL series. Plus this had the first really big couple pairing that got built up by fan bases. This series revolves around an incoming freshman who is not particularly happy with the school's hazing system (note, I said school). Yes, Thailand has hazing. It is still legal there. Yes, it is a problem in some universities. Yes, there has been a call to address the issue. Yes, it has gotten somewhat better. Mainly from public pressure. 

Problematic Elements:
Femmes are the butt of jokes
Gay For You, the "only for him" idea
Bi-erasure, see above
Lack of intimacy (remember, intimacy does not equal sex), you could tell they weren't comfortable touching in the first season, they got better (especially by the Special)
Not the best plot/pacing
Bullying via Hazing (As seen by someone who grew up where hazing is illegal and went through schools that had massive anti-bullying campaigns)

What it did well:
The struggle of self-acceptance, kinda
Did not kill off it's queers
Blink and you'll miss her lesbian
Acting was from newbies so they did okay and they improved over the seasons
Production quality
Normal people
Good Female Characters
Season One gave a Happy For Now, Season Two and the Special gave us a Happy Ending

Now something to understand here is that Thais will try to talk their problems out and see the issue from another person's POV. Violence and lying are two big no-nos based on their culture. Fighting, and a person quick to temper, is  frowned upon. Someone will almost always intervene anyone trying to fight if they are friends. It is also why people who use violence are portrayed the way they are in these series. That can lead people *cough* the States *coughs* where white lies/lies are an every day thing and fists come out more often than not, to be confused as to why certain behaviors are a big deal while others are not, or to be confused as to why Thais have the reactions they do to the lying. 

Lying is a HUGE no. It is a much bigger deal in Thailand than it is seen here in the States, which is why it often gets the reaction it does. The default is that people are being honest with you, not the other way round.

Side note: It would be awesome to see a college series where engineering majors aren't the default. *looks at all the ones that are now, siiiiggghhhsss*

Bad Romance/Together With Me Series (LINE TV) - college, Friends to Lovers, ensemble cast

This is a three season series that can be watched via LINE TV if you have access. It started with Bad Romance where the supporting same-sex couple was already together in the first season. Now, this has happened with multiple series in Thailand where the first a het romance first season, then the queers had a large enough fan base they got another series but the chronological order is off.

Chronologically:

Together With Me (2nd season)
Bad Romance (1st season)
Together With Me: The Next Chapter (3rd season) - most everyone has graduated and are working

Problematic Elements:
Femmes are the butt of jokes (Seeing a theme here?)
Gay For You, the "only for him" idea
Bi-erasure, TV series (see above) - in the book one of the characters was bi, the other straight and in the TV series the may the straight book character gay and the bi character straight ... I have no answers for those choices.
Not the best plot
Strict "Roles"
Rape/Assault, sighs - in the TV series it's a supporting couple where the much younger boyfriend is gang raped in Together With Me, but in the Together With Me: The Next Chapter, they have him get back together with the man who set it up. It's a long fucking conversation because what happened was rape.  The book is a whole other story.
The "it's not cheating if he's a guy and I'm a guy" idea - Together With Me Season
Evil Girlfriend or Bitchy Girls, see above for why it's tiring 
Continuity between seasons (sometimes you can't help it)
Abusive/Toxic Relationship Romanticized
Fetishizing darker skin
BR did have the crazy/obsessive queer character that tried to kill people

What it did well:
Multiple characters were actually gay and not "Gay For You." It was nice to see some of the characters already self-assured in their sexuality.
Did not kill off it's queers
Acting improved over the seasons, had good cast chemistry from the get-go
Production quality
Normal people
​Supportive Friends 
Strong Female Characters
Conflict with unaccepting family
Cheating - the MF couple in Together With Me: The Next Chapter
Season One and Two gave a Happy For Now, Season Three gave us a Happy Ending

Now, I have no issue with problematic elements. People are people and do dumb shit. Sometimes you can have an awesome conversation around those dumb choices and talk about why they are a problem, why they cause harm, etc. Showing negative choices is also something that can be as beneficial as showing positive choices. The issue here is that is NOT what is happening most of the time, especially in these TV productions of the stories. *looks at the rape involving Farm and how that whole storyline went* Sighs. 

The Kiss Series (Netflix/GMMTV Official YouTube Channel) - college/working professionals, enemies/friends to lovers, ensemble cast

Similar to the BR/TWM series, this is a three season series and a Special that started in the middle with the het couples but then went back. They are, once again, mostly engineering majors. There are some working stiffs (*throws confetti*) The second season mixed it up a bit, though. That was nice. Season one is on Netflix. Seasons one through three are on GMMTV's Official YouTube with English (and others) subtitles. There are mostly het couples here. Now, this series produced one of the most favorite/shipped same-sex couples, and honestly, it influenced stuff. 

Kiss Me Again happened before Together With Me and upped certain levels in terms of intimacy (Not Sex) shown on TV. The same-sex couple actually kissed, and it felt intimate, creating waves. Then Together With Me upped the ante with intimacy and sex. It's been interesting watching what has happened since. :/ Yes, sarcasm is involved. 

Chronologically:

Kiss Me Again (2nd Season, same-sex couple main cast)
The Kiss (1st Season, supporting same-sex couple)
Special - Our Skyy, Episode Four (I think)
Dark Blue Kiss (3rd Season, two same-sex couples, one supporting het couple, and a maybe lesbian/bisexual woman) - also, when to place this chronologically confused a lot of people, so there might be some actual overlap with season two but who the fuck knows.

Problematic Elements:
Gay For You, the "only for him" idea
Bi-erasure, see above
Strict "Roles" (Season 1 and 2)
Not the best plot (Season 3, I'm looking at you, JFK what was that?)
The "it's not cheating if he's a guy and I'm a guy" idea - Season 2
Evil Girlfriend or Bitchy Girls, see above for why it's tiring 
Continuity between seasons (sometimes you can't help it, certain actors were not available)
Obsessive/Possessive - Abusive/Toxic Relationship Romanticized
Intimacy (not a problem for season 1 or 2 - and again, intimacy does not equal sex)

What it did well:
Multiple characters were actually gay and not "Gay For You." It was nice to see some of the characters already self-assured in their sexuality.
Did not kill off it's queers
Not Strict "roles" for one couple (Season 3)
Acting improved over the seasons, had good cast chemistry from the get-go
Production quality, hell of a lot better than most
Normal people
​Supportive Friends 
Strong Female Characters
Pete's Dad - Love him
​Intimacy (Looking at you Season 3 - and no, I'm not talking sex, I'm talking intimacy)
Season One and Two gave a Happy For Now, Season Three gave us a Happy Ending

Lying also becomes a big issue in this series and I saw a lot of Western viewers just not get how bad it is to lie. They couldn't wrap their heads around the reaction and why it was so bad. This is a cultural issue. I'm not saying Thailand needs to stop doing what they're doing. It's part of who they are. It's up to the people joining the culture to work to understand it. Though it is something people might want to be aware of. Western viewers thought Kao's rejection of money and lying to cover everything up was actually reasonable - he should be his own man and make his money. What they didn't see is how much the rejection of Pete's offer of money (in a Buddhist culture, those with more help those with less - it's more complicated but that's the basics) was sincere and not offensive and why the Kao lie was worse. It would not have been looked down upon for Kao to take Pete up on his offer, at least not viewed the way Westerners saw it. Was it ideal? No. But Pete was in a position to offer help. 

I'm not even going to get into giving a high school antagonist instead of an older successful businessmen antagonist to create a misunderstanding and a love triangle was such a bad idea. Sighs. I just... won't. And the "You can't hang out with other guys?" FMR.

*Looks at the fighting* Yeah. It was there. Normalized because boys. *Sighs* Abusive relationships are not just between het couples people. *Sighs Again*

And for the last one, because damn this has gotten long, the 

Love By Chance Series (Studio Wabi Sabi Official YouTube Channel/LINE TV) - College, mostly engineering students (not all), friends/enemies to lovers and all sorts, ensemble casts

This series got a lot of attention. One, the acting. Two, the production quality (especially from an indie studio - they anted up production quality - thanks). Three, the story. It also got a lot of attention because of fighting behind the scenes and the not so professional behavior by certain people (not the actors). A third/second season (it's complicated) almost didn't happen then an announcement came out of nowhere in December 2019 that no one was expecting.

Chronologically:

TharnType: The Series (Season 2 but not done by Studio Wabi Sabi) (LINE TV international direct links)
Love By Chance (Season 1) (Studio Wabi Sabi Official YouTube)
2 Wish: Love By Chance Season 2 (Season 3 - like I said, it's complicated) - coming 2020 (I think)

Problematic Elements:
Gay For You, the "only for him" idea
Bi-erasure, see above
Strict "Roles"
Rape/Assault - the handling of it in TharnType - was there effort, did they change editing, yes? Was it still there - yes. Was the handling realistic... sighs. Depends on the couple. They did try to have a conversation of how rape could happen to men and affect them? Yes.
Magic Dick Trope (TharnType - I loathe this trope with a vehemence only known to mole rats and it feds into the issue below)
Sexually abused Victim Representation - inconsistent handling between characters, the representation with Type and how he would react was so far off base
The "it's not cheating if he's a guy and I'm a guy" idea 
Continuity between seasons (sometimes you can't help it, certain actors are not available, it's REALLY complicated in this case)
Assault - between a couple (TharnType), Type punched Tharn many times. *sighs* Tharn raped Type - also a long conversation about the kiss scene in episode one, the holding down in the bed scene, shower scene and how Tharn continued to touch Type when he was told to back off so... issues. Though Tharn was presented in such a way after that kiss scene in episode one where stuff happened consensually - again, issues. 
Obsessive/Possessive - Abusive/Toxic Relationship Romanticized - TharnType season, the step-brothers in ALL the seasons
Pacing/Plot issues (TharnType) - a lot of this had a lot to do with the editing choices. TharnType was the first attempt for the producer (also author of the books), but there were pacing issues that caused confusion and so a YouTuber started explaining what happened in each of the episodes to people because so much was not explained/shown. If you have to rely on your book readers to explain it to an audience who hadn't read the book, then there are problems in the story-telling of your visual content. I know the author can produce quality pacing because she worked on season one (Love by Chance) with Studio Wabi Sabi. And something I noted is that the independent work of her suffered pacing/toxic stuff while the independent work Studio Wabi Sabi (Until We Meet Again) suffered cast chemistry/depth/plot. Together, the two made a kick ass series (season one). Their strengths must've complimented each other's weaknesses.

What it did well:
​Femmes were not the butt of all jokes
Trans representation - TharnType
Multiple characters were actually gay and not "Gay For You." It was nice to see some of the characters already self-assured in their sexuality.
Did not kill off it's queers
Bisexuality was brought up as an option (yay?)
Both seasons thus far had good cast chemistry from the get-go
Production quality, hell of a lot better than most
Normal people
​Supportive Friends - Ae's Wingman, awesomeness 
Supportive Family 
Strong Female Characters/Good Female Characters 
Season One gave a Happy For Now for the Main Couple, Season Two has not ended as of this posting (and once again it gets complicated because Studio Wabi Sabi is now doing Season Three/Two and for other reasons, ugh.)

Now, this is where stuff starts to get complicated for this series. Season Three/Two is going back to the original cast of Season One and not using the cast from TharnType (Season Two) that does have overlapping characters. People loved certain characters from certain seasons. How it's all going to shake out is yet to be seen. What I do think is the TharnType cast are SOL. The author/producer has promised the TharnType characters other work (who knows).

They missed the boat on introducing a demisexual in Season One - though whether that identity has made it's way to Thailand - it hasn't, not that I know of, not with people outside my friends and family. Ae certainly clocked as demisexual to international (western) viewers because of how his attraction worked. They didn't go for bisexual, which could've worked to, but they didn't quite pull a Gay For You with his character. He just hadn't figured it out yet? Sorta. *shrugs*

The idea of consent in TharnType is a very, very long conversation. Some of it was done well (Tar), some was not (Type). It also has to do with the conversation around rape and assault in Thailand. Most people don't understand that assault victims do not, in fact, fight back but can undergo what's called Tonic Immobility. Yes, that's a link you see. But basically, it's temporary paralysis due to the situation. So all those times in BL where "because they didn't fight back was proof enough they wanted it", is a no-go. Rape victims can't always fight back, especially in Type's case, which makes it all the more brain numbing. Another issue rape victims have (and can cause sexual dysfunction and PTSD) is some can and do experience an orgasm - that doesn't mean they wanted the orgasm, or that they liked what happened.  But how? A decent link explains it here. But basically, the neural pathways that cause orgasm are also the same neural pathways that are firing when undergoing stressful and fearful situations - like rape. Sooooooooo many people don't understand this and see orgasming as consent or that the person being assaulted really wanted it. 

That's just not true . 

What is true, is that if it happens during a rape, it can cause a hell of a lot of confusion to the victim because this is not something explained in sex ed all that often. A lot of shame can get involved as well as cause forms of post-traumatic stress disorder. But what I want people to understand is this: Rape Victims cannot always fight back because Tonic Paralysis is a thing, and Rape Victims can experience orgasm, but that sure as hell does not mean they wanted what happened to them. 

So yeah, chest unloaded. There are more series and more issues, but I think the ideas and basic overview of what is out there has been cultivated with what we have.

Also, there is one more thing I want people to understand. You can like stories with problematic elements. There is some fantastic story out there with all sorts problems - racism, bigotry, sexism - all sorts of problems. The key is: are you acknowledging those issues and having conversations around them? Are you talking about the whys and hows and what kind of damage/pain these things can cause? If you can, more power to ya. The problem becomes when people don't differentiate and set these ideals - toxic or otherwise - as standards and "the norm."

Now for the main course - there are major spoilers here , just saying - You Think You Can Kill Us:

One particular series - HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (all the HIStory series are found on VIKI) - killed off one of their main protagonists in the last episode. The reasoning? Because the writer wanted to explore this theme and the idea of moving on after the death of a loved one, and she didn't want to do something cliche like amnesia or a person who looks exactly the same to show for the love interest to also fall in love with. Killing off one of the guys was something new and unexplored.

Me, a queer person: ....... Excuse me, what? Fuck right off there .

How about we list a few of the recent visual media (yes, I know some of these are based off books) that already used this TROPE:

Umbrella Academy 
IT, Chapter Two
Bird Box
Game of Thrones
Supernatural
Voltron: Legendary Defender
The 100
Orange is the New Black
American Horror Story (Lots of them)
The Walking Dead
Brokeback Mountain
Rent
Bridegroom
Boys Don't Cry
Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
The Magicians
The Dragon Prince
The Handmaid's Tale 
Pretty Little Liars 
My Hero Academia 
Jennifer's Body
​This Is Us
A Single Man

That's 24 TV/movies right there. I could go on, on and on, really. These are just the ones I can think of at the moment, but main the point being is that the "Kill Your Queers" aka "Bury Your Gays" trope - and if it's a trope that means it's totally a thing that has been done and explored - is alive and well, thank you very fucking much.

Now, the reason people did not expect this to happen in MODC, though there had been foreshadowing, was because the makers of this particular web series had promised viewers happy endings since the first season series aired. This cast had chemistry and the pacing was good. HIStory season 3 - Trapped and MODC had thus far hit all three things you want in a series more or less - cast chemistry, story, pacing. Are there quibbles? Of course, but I'm not getting into those now. What I am addressing is the end of MODC. Happing Endings for all of these series was something the producers talked about. Making sure there were Happy Endings for the gay/bi characters.

Make Our Days Count most definitely did not have a Happy Ending.

In giving a Sad Ending, they betrayed the bond and trust they built with their audience about Happy Endings. It was betrayed because they said they wouldn't Bury Their Gays.

Now, I can 100% say my feelings had a lot to do with the media form. And yes, it's important that I identified that particular issue.

You see, if it had been a book, I would've gone along with the ending. I would've been okay with that ending in a book. Just not on TV or in a movie.

Why?

Because I see all kinds of queer representation in books. Are there corners of "Kill Your Queers"/"Bury Your Gays"? Sure. Is it as prevalent as it used to be? Not at all. There is representation across genres of all kinds. Fantasy. Sci Fi. Romance. Paranormal. Historical. And LOTS AND LOTS of Happy Endings . 

When I read a book I don't need queers to get a happy ending or to not be the villain any more because there is enough out there for it to not bother me when I see/read it. 

The same cannot  be said for TV/Movies. KILL YOUR QUEERS/BURY YOUR GAYS happen ALL THE TIME. ALL THE FUCKING TIME. 

So, yeah, I was pissed. Still am. Not as much, though. A little less, anyway.

Because getting the characters to a happy place, to have them touch happiness, and then rip it away, is all too familiar. It is also where a lot of queers are currently standing with the way the current government in the States is going. 

We were allowed marriage, but there were so many other fights for us still. And that ruling for same sex marriage, the normalization that had started after decades of advocation? Could be ripped away. Those Happy Endings we got are tenuous at best. Not everyone can understand it, but most everyone can feel it. There is an erosion of our rights as queers, of people of color, as disabled, as women, happening in the courts right now. And it hurts. That the Happy we got could be ripped under our feet and be just out of reach — again. The threat of loss is very, very real. It's terrifying. Being given reassurance where we can SEE it is almost required so we know that the are others who will continue to stand up against the injustices of the world with us.  

That's why the ending of MODC stung so fucking hard. 

Between the fact the trust the audience had was utterly betrayed, the fact the trope of KILL YOUR QUEERS/BURY YOUR GAYS is alive and well in visual media, and that recent political agendas have been threatening the happiness of queers, it was the last thing people wanted to SEE, especially when they had been told they wouldn't have to.

For me, it was the final slap that just wrecked me.

You want to do this in a book - hell, I have killed off characters - fine and dandy. 

TV? Movies? Where so many more people are reached and influenced because it's so easily consumable? Where what people SEE does influence what they think and feel about queers like me?

Fuck right off. 

I am not here the the KILL YOUR QUEERS trope in visual media. Not even a little. There hasn't been nearly enough Happy Endings to make up for all the hundreds,  thousands, of sad ones. Some plot choices/devices have yet to be used enough for them to be cliche for us queers.

So you think you can kill us? 

People do. Every day. Every fucking day . Just for who we are. It's an ending that has been explored for millennias, all throughout literature and visual media. The Sad Ending IS the predictable ending. The one us queers have seen most of our lives. The Happy ones had only just begun.

Let us be happy somewhere more visible.

Let us see it can happen.

Because we often don't.

Because we need, want, deserve, a Happy Ending.

It's not cliche. Not in the movies. Not on TV.

Not by a long shot.


_______________________________________

PS. I wrote this coming off jet-lag from Japan and really fucking late. I should b asleep if I ever want to adjust back to the right time zone. Typos, misspellings, tense issues (Sorry, Angel), etc., most likely happened, and will most likely be addressed as I go back and read my post when I am more cognizant. 

So, it's been a while

Hi, um, everyone. It's nice to see you. I'm surprised you're still hanging around, but it's nice you are. The last couple years have not been easy. They've been even harder on my writing because  time . 

Between working full-time, graduate school part-time, and family and friends, there hasn't been a lot of me left to give. I have been working on stories. I think I'd curl up into a little ball and cry if I never wrote again. It's getting the stories done to a level I am satisfied with. It's looking back on the ones I needed to step away from because of all the black feelings left inside from a bad partnership with a publisher. It's knowing my writing has changed a lot and unsure of which direction to go. I have scenes rolling around in my head for David, for Namid, a finished story for Tadashi, but nothing was settling.

These are all choices. Ones that needed to be thought about. Talked over. Why I wasn't happy with what I wrote. What I felt was wrong. How far was I spreading myself. Because I needed to find the energy to be focused and write.

I have some of the answers. I'm still working on others.

With Angel Martinez's help, I have gotten a little back on track (training wheels). Our LIJUN series is exciting for me. Having her to cheer me on, to help me write something personal has meant the world to me. She has also kept me going when I sometimes faltered. Knowing she was in more corner, wanting me to finish the next scene gave me the motivation and kick in the butt I think I needed. The publishing schedule has helped too. Knowing I have due dates to meet, that I don't want Angel to look bad if I don't meet them, has also helped. 

While we get through the LIJUN trilogy I am taking a solid look at what I want to do next. David has been waiting a long time, patiently as he does. The third book for the Finding Peace series was a stumbling block for me because so many things need to happen, and it was tied up in all that previous publisher business. When bad things happen to the stuff I love I have trouble separating the bad from the good. I'm working on it. David would like me to finish his story. I did start with an ending after all. I knew where his journey went. Now it's getting there.

I also have the Finding Home boys. I have already figured out it gets one more book. A trilogy. I love my Geeves. Seeing how he faired after the snowstorm is important to me. 

There is Tadashi's (Spirit Threads #2) story, Enhearten. I've been sitting on the finished manuscript for 15 months. *looks at calendar* okay, probably longer at this point. Angel took a look at it and we talked over why I was unhappy (she didn't see much wrong with it). Once we figured out why I was so "meh" over the book I had a bit of cathartic release. I know how to "fix it" now. It means some major rewrites but I'm okay with that, especially since it means I'll be happier with what I wrote. 

Then I have the Tall Tales of Hooper's Town. My little ode to Tall Tales. Namid and Dusty have been staring at each other, then me in turn. I have figured out that is a trilogy. What needs to happen for them. 

Then there are a few other things on my plate. The expansion and publication of the blog story over at MCB, the Marduk Expanse, and the Sheltered Universe. The blog story I had over on Prism. Lots of things. So many things. It was hard to breathe there for a while. 

Learning to put them in smaller packages, to make decisions on what I can handle next, has been important. 

I will get to the stories. I feel that now more than before. Will it take time? Yes. Lots of time. But I have that. Comparing my turtle speed to people who can produce book upon book isn't any good. I will never be knocking out books left and right. But I will always be writing. Slowly, as I go, hopefully producing the stories I can be proud of. 

Color of Love 2017 Blog Hop

Welcome to the 2017 edition of the COLOR OF LOVE Blog Hop co-hosted by Empi Baryeh (me), Kiru Taye, Nana Prah, and Love Bites and Silk.This year's hop is on from today 23 November to 3 December, 2017. 



We're celebrating People of Color in romance and offering you a chance to discover new books and new authors, as well as giving you a chance to win prizes. We have 30 blogs participating this year, each featuring an interracial or multicultural romance book! 

This year, we're doing things a little differently. We've separated the cash and book prizes so more people can win:

Here's what's up for grabs:

BOOK PRIZES
We’re introducing daily book prizes. Be sure to comment on blog posts and join the conversation on our  FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE  for a chance to win one of our 24 book prizes.

CASH PRIZES
Enter the rafflecopter below for a chance to win:
· 1st prize $50 GC
· 2nd prize $25 GC
· 3rd prize $15 GC
· 4th prize $10 GC

MY  BLOG PRIZE$5 GC to Amazon
Life hasn't been easy for Amir since he fled Iran after a brutal imprisonment. The trauma experienced at the hands of the guards left a dark spot on his soul. The one constant in his life since relocating to Chicago has been his lover—now husband—Esmail, whose steadfast love and support has soothed his wounded heart.

​But this Shab-e Yalda, Amir wants to be the one giving his husband something special, because even after the darkest nights, the sun will rise again.
AmazonKOBOiBooksCOLOR OF LOVE 2017 FEATURED BOOKS
ENTER RAFFLECOPTER
http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/75c4d51c121/


HOP ON TO THE NEXT BLOG

Dancing Stars

​The sniffles weren't too far away. Tadashi paused to listen again, allowing all other noises drown away. The fun type were children laughed, adults conversed in groups, and the teenagers amassed, broke apart then swarmed together again oohhing and ahhing over the different booths.
 
And each other. Tadashi sighed. Okay, maybe his concentration needed a little more work. He'd forgotten how hard this age was. Thirteen. The lack of focus, the hormones all over the place, and why did his hair have to grown in like that by his crotch this time around? No, not what he was supposed to be worrying about. Not even close.
 
Dag had run off. That was why Tadashi needed to focus on the sniffles. He knew that quiet crying anywhere, or more specifically, whom it belonged to.
 
The young boy he'd chosen to protect now that Per had grown up. His duty. His old persona had reached a ripe old age and it had been time to retire even before Dag had been born. The how's were a little more complicated than they used to be. Humans. They lived so long now. They also had too many means in which to document everything.
 
However, they had managed to put in place his brother Etsou and his wife, Hikaru, had a child but a sickly one. She traveled to Europe to get their kid treatment while Etsou stayed at the temple with periodic visits to her. The plan gave them all leeway to keep a facade while Tadashi passed on.
 
His end of the bargain was to stay out of sight. Not always the easiest thing, but they managed. Tadashi spent more time as his fox than human for six years. The freedom of the temple responsibilities had been nice, and he took more than one trip around the globe. But the mountain was home. Always would be now.
 
It felt good to be young again, like he'd been reborn. Maybe he had. So much had happened in the last century, so many wounds accumulated, so much life lived Tadashi welcomed the challenges of growing up again.
 
If I had only known what I was getting in for. Tadashi might've come up with a different plan. One that entailed the Mizuno's moving away then coming back. Staring over at five? Pretending to learn all over again? Only two things kept Tadashi from leaving. His son, Kou, and Dag. His little squirrel who preferred home and the strong, resilient young boy who brought laughter into life.
 
So to have Dag's eyes well with unshed tears, to see him cry out and stomp, then to turn and run away, it broke Tadashi's heart. He wanted Dag's exuberant smile back. To do that, he'd have to find him first.
 
Which is... Tadashi tilted his head to the left. The temple. Somewhere in the temple. Only Dag. Tadashi looked up. The sky had gotten quite dark. The fireworks would be beginning soon. They had some neat ones this year he didn't want Dag to miss.
 
Tadashi took off at a trot, weaving in and out of the flow of bodies. Friends called out to him, their excited voices asking where Dag was and whether or not to save some of the good seats for them.
 
"Maybe! If you can!" Tadashi called back, still pushing through the crowd. Going upstream was never easy.
 
The closer he got to the temple, the faster he could run without worrying about toppling someone over. People smiled at him, some asked for Etsou and Hikaru, while a few grumpy old timers told him to slow down. But he refused to go any slower. He wanted Dag to see the fireworks with him.
 
The thump of the tiles resounded in his ears as he made for the temple, zeroed in on Dag's hiccups and stuttered breaths. Tadashi zigzagged through a few stragglers before shooting up the temple steps and inside the main room. Out of breath, and a little frazzled, Tadashi took a moment to gather himself.
 
Partially because he needed to, and partially because the overflowing emotions he was desperate to hold in check. Stupid teenage hormones.
 
Obon never ceased to amaze him. The crowds. The energy. The love of community. The love of small town with mostly Scandinavian background had for his customs. The small pinprick of pride flowed through him. They helped him make the town feel like a safe place for Japanese citizens to resettle after... well, after Berg had him reopen the temple. They even had a museum dedicated to survivors of the internment camps down in town.
 
However, seeing the festival through these eyes, fresh ones, really hit him in the feels. Tadashi had been so focused on his birthright and paying homage to his ancestors, he had forgotten how much fun Obon could be. This year even more so, he was finally getting back to an age where people didn't question him running around all by himself.
 
Then there was Dag and their friends. Because of Dag, Tadashi always had people around him, kids wanting to play and enjoy the day instead of worrying about everything else.
 
How long had it been since he really let go and celebrated? Too long.
 
Except Dag wasn't there to celebrate. He'd run off, crying. His green eyes full of tears, Tadashi stunned into silence and wondering what had caused the outburst. All right. Time to find his friend.
 
Tadashi looked up and scanned the main room. He dipped his head when his gaze fell upon Inari, but continued his search for Dag. He could've sworn the sounds had been from here. If it had been any of the other rooms, the chances were Tadashi might not have heard them.
 
Disgruntled and surprised he was a little pissed at missing the fireworks, Tadashi turned to leave when color caught his eye. Color where there shouldn't be any. Bright red converse stuck out from behind Inari.
 
Dag.
 
Ambling over to the statue, Tadashi decided it would be better to not give Dag a chance to run. He went around the opposite side and hoped for the best. What he found broke his heart.
 
Dag leaned heavily against the statue. His head pressed against the top of the base. The defensive position in which he had curled into was awkward and telling. One gangly leg stuck out—the one that had given him away—while his other one had been pulled up against his chest. One long thin arm held it close while the other lay by his side, Dag's hand turned up on the ground.
 
A puppy. Too big for its own body. Thirteen and Dag was already a head over most of their friends. Gangly to the point where someone could count his ribs without much effort. Someday he'd grow into himself, but first, Dag would have to survive the teen years.
 
Tadashi crouched down next to his young ward and friend. Dag didn't even notice. His eyes were closed, cheeks stained red from the tears.
 
"Hey." Tadashi shoulder bumped Dag.
 
"What?" Dag started, turning a wide-eyed gaze on him. "Tada? What?"
 
Dag tried to untangle himself but only managed tripping himself up instead. Tadashi caught him, only to have Dag pull away. The move hurt, but Tadashi managed to put on a brave face. At least, he hoped he did.
 
"I'm sorry. Why did you run away?"
 
Unfortunately, the response only created more tears. Tadashi looked up to Inari wishing for a little help.
 
A garbled, hiccupped reply from Dag came instead. "You forgot. How could"–hiccup–"you forget? Anyone else."
 
"Dag, I need you to stop crying. I can't understand you."
 
More hiccups followed by more tears came. Tadashi had to remind himself once again how young Dag really was. Just because he'd gotten bigger didn't mean he suddenly grew up on the inside too. The first loud boom went off outside.
 
"No one." More hiccups. More booms. "I could've handled any"–hiccup–"one else forgetting. Just not you."
 
Whatever Tadashi had forgotten certainly had to be a big deal. He reached out tentatively and put a hand on Dag's shoulders. More loud pops and booms went off overhead. A shudder rippled through Dag, his mournful green gaze turning on Tadashi.
 
"All day I waited." He sniffled, snot running down to his lip. "All the excitement. I kept waiting when the surprise would be."
 
Surprise? Tadashi struggled to keep up with the jumbled words.
 
"I love you," Dag said with another hiccup. "And you don't even care. You just forgot me."
 
"I haven't forgotten you!" Tadashi protested, confused but sure he hadn't done anything wrong. Dag kept on going as if he'd never heard Tadashi.
 
"No cake." Another hiccup. "No present."
 
Oh gods no. Tadashi had indeed forgotten something incredibly important. His chest tightened and the pit of his stomach clenched. He had to do something. Quick.
 
"I kept waiting and waiting," Dag continued, tears and hiccups galore. "But nothing."
 
Tadashi grabbed Dag's shoulders and shook him. "Wrong. You're wrong."
 
Dag's forlorn gaze rose. He swiped his hand across his runny nose. His shoulders were still slumped but Dag had stopped crying. No more tears stained his cheeks. Tadashi saw the raw need radiating off him.
 
"I just wanted to wait," Tadashi said, only a tiny bit of guilt about the lie. Sometimes it really was kinder. "Because I didn't want the others to get jealous."
 
"Over what?" A flare of hope shined in Dag's eyes.
 
"What I got you."
 
"A-a present."
 
Tadashi nodded. "In my... Meditation room."
 
"What?" Dag's expression darkened.
 
"I wanted to keep it a surprise." But before Dag could question him further, Tadashi pulled him up and dragged him out from behind Inari. He ran, a startled Dag tripping after him.
 
They were out of the temple and off across the empty courtyard while Tadashi tried to think of what to give Dag. Overhead the fireworks display burst above them. Blue, gold, white and red li the sky above, cheers and claps following each burst. But the lights were of no importance anymore. The only thing Tadashi wanted was to make Dag understand how important he was. However, there were only a few items he kept in his shack. One of the drawers in the dresser had Kou's tidbits. There were shirts, mediation stuff, his pictures, and... And... Well, yes, that might work.
 
The problem with that was its size. Tadashi looked over his shoulder with a critical eye on Dag. He was still growing, but could he really excuse the improper fit because of that? Although... If he gave one of his own... Yes. Problem solved.
 
Tadashi led them into the shack, pushing away the wave of sadness he encountered every time he visited this place. He turned on the light, focusing on the dresser and ignoring the paintings on the walls. It would only hurt more to look at them.
 
Not only had he not been here to pay respects recently, Tadashi had failed Berg by hurting Dag. It hadn't been intended, being too busy wasn't an excuse, and Dag really hadn't cared if the festival trumped his birthday before, but it obviously mattered this time.
 
"Sit down," Tadashi said, pointing to the couch. Dag went, head straight, his eyes following Tadashi. "Just give me a minute."
 
"Sure."
 
The dresser wasn't completely empty. Certain items with deep meaning were kept here. When Tadashi needed to escape, or remember, or to breathe, this was where he always came. The place where his life restarted. The place where Berg brought him, healed him, and fought for him. Those gunshots decades ago should've killed him, but Berg wanted him alive, so Tadashi fought. Clung to that need. That hope. It taught him to breathe again.
 
Tadashi opened the top drawer. Four boxes were inside it. He touched he purple one, thinking hard. It had been his once upon a time, but Tadashi had never worn it. The occasion slipping away from him the moment Berg died in his arms. After that, he couldn't bring himself to wear it. Maybe it's time to let go. A little bit. Out of the corner of his eye, Dag sat rigid on the couch, anticipation vibrating off him. Maybe if it were Dag wearing the yukata it wouldn't hurt anymore.
 
With a smile, Tadashi pulled the box out and turned to Dag. "For you."
 
"Really?"
 
"Yes."
 
"It's not wrapped."
 
"Too pretty of a box to wrap it up." It was true after all. A kitsune adorned the box, standing tall by Inari's side. Fitting if Tadashi thought about it. "Open it."
 
Dag took the box and flipped the lid, eyes wide.
 
"Happy Birthday, Dag. May the next year be even better."
 
"But—"
 
"You don't like it?"
 
"It's just—" Dag shook his head. "A yukata? One like this?"
 
Tadashi turned away, not wanting to show his disappointment. He should've known Dag would balk. He hadn't been made with him in mind after all.
 
"Are you sure it's okay?" Dag asked. "It must've been... Expensive."
 
Tadashi didn't answer.
 
"It's beautiful. I think it would suit you better."
 
"It's too big for me." Give him about five years or so, then Tadashi would be the right size again. "If you don't like it—"
 
"No! I want it!"
 
Tadashi turned back, and sure enough, Dag had the yukata clutched to his chest.
 
"You said it's mine, right?
 
"Yes."
 
"Will you help me put it on?"
 
"Of course."
 
Dag stood, carefully putting the box on the couch, then stripped down to his boxer briefs. Tadashi smiled, his heart squeezing tight. To see Dag putting on his yukata did strange things. Things he was better of not thinking on—not to mention the guilt weighing him down.
 
"Is this the way it goes?" Dag turned in a circle, frowning.
 
"No, here, let me." Tadashi adjusted the obi. "The left goes over the right. Right over left is for the dead."
 
Something he hoped Dag wouldn't be for a long time.
 
"Then the obi goes like this." Tadashi ducked to wrap it around Dag's waist. A hand pressed against his shoulder. An inquiring glance up found Dag staring intently down at him. "What?"
 
"Thank you." The words were small, quiet, barely perceptible, but they meant the world to him.
 
"You're welcome. Now let's see."
 
Dag turned around, holding his hands up. "Does it suit me?"
 
No, but Tadashi felt a little better knowing his yukata would be there to help protect Dag. "Yes."
 
The blue bottom grew into a dark purple the near black at the top. Instead of the more popular geometric pattern men's yukatas had these days, stars adorned the fabric will a lone sliver of the moon. Flowers dotted the bottom—definitely not the style of today—while a kitsune watch from afar on the back.
 
Please, Inari, Dag asked. Look over this boy as he makes his first steps into manhood. Let me be there always when he needs me.
 
The smile Dag wore reminded Tadashi of the ones Berg used to give him. Honest. Open. Loving. Sometime in the future Dag would probably remind Tadashi more of his grandfather  Berg than he wanted. When he filled out.
 
The thought niggled on something in Tadashi's head but he pushed it away. "You ready to join the celebration again?"
 
"Yeah, and Tada?"
 
"Hm?"
 
"Thank you." Dag petted the yukata. "It's like they move when I do, like the stars are dancing on the yukata."
 
Tadashi just smiled in return.
 
"I'll wear it forever," Dag declared, and took Tadashi by the hand. "This really means a lot to me."
 
"Well, you mean a lot to me."
 
Dag blushed.
 
"Ready for the fireworks?"
 
Dag titled his head, smiling sadly. "Sounds like they're almost done."
 
Tadashi pulled Dag outside, the two of them huddled close together in the courtyard, watching the explosions above. Shoulder to shoulder their eyes fixated on the shapes and colors above them. Dag's fingers brushed Tadashi's, and he almost drew back. Except Dag gave him that heart-attack inducing smile again.
 
"Thank you."
 
"You're welcome."
 
"No, I mean it. Thanks for not forgetting me."
 
"What are best friends for?"
 
Dag laughed. "To drive us crazy?"
 
"Maybe," Tadashi agreed. "But I like to think we're there to help pick the other person up."
 
"Sounds nice." Dag pushed closer to Tadashi.
 
He agreed and turned to the sky. Thirteen wasn't so bad, and he was excited to see what kind of man Dag was going to become. Halfway there, but still so short. Nevertheless, someday, they'd be out here, under the stars dancing away. Until then, Tadashi would watch over Dag best he could.
 
A brilliant smile lit up Dag's face the exact same moment the sky exploded with the grand finale, fireworks bursting every which way, floating down toward them like stars coming to rest. Music poured out from the speakers. Dag grabbed Tadashi's hand and pulled him close.
 
And together, side-by-side, they watched as the lights danced overhead. Tadashi pressed in a little closer and sighed. The night really couldn't get more perfect.
 
"Happy birthday, Dag. I hope that you get everything you wished for."

Queer Sci Fi Holiday Blog Hop

QueerSciFi is running our first ever holiday blog hop. Our members will be sharing a number of our great holiday-themed titles on their blogs - it's a great way to find speculative-fiction themed LGBT holiday books! We've included buy links for each of the books below - books are listed in alphabetical order by title. Happy Holidays! Candle in the Dark Anthology Author: Various Price: $5.00 eBook / $10.00 Paperback Summary: In almost all traditions, winter has been a time to huddle around the fire and be thankful for those the fire is shared with. The holidays grew out of a need to celebrate that time, from Christmas to Chanukah to Solstice. The longest night of the year has always held some special mystery, and we’re proud to present you with several stories of how those mysteries bear fruit. In the first story, Patrick receives a mysterious invitation to dine at the most exclusive restaurant for men. His server, Gio, encourages him to Savor the experience... Buy Links:

PUBLISHER | AMAZON | ALL ROMANCE

A Christmas Cactus for the General Author: Angel Martinez Price: $3.99 eBook Summary: Exiled to Earth for perhaps the worst failure in Irasolan history, General Teer must assimilate or die. Earth is too warm, too wet, too foreign, but he does the best he can even though human males are loud, childish louts whom he can't imitate successfully. When a grieving seaplane pilot strikes up a strange and uneasy friendship with him, he finds he may have been too quick to judge human males. They are strange to look at, but perhaps not as unbearable as he thought. Buy Links:

PUBLISHER | AMAZON | ALL ROMANCE | APPLE | KOBO

The Darkest Midnight in December Author: Jana Denardo Price: $3.99 eBook Summary: The year is 1930, and something is hunting infants and young couples in Economy Village, PA. When a local priest begins to suspect a demon may be the culprit, the sheriff calls in a team of Soldiers of the Sun. Caleb, Agni, Temple, and Li specialize in demon hunting, but they can’t rule out an old religious sect as the true culprit. Prejudice, distraught parents, and angry townspeople don’t make the team’s job any easier. And if something goes wrong, their own their own, because by the time their backup arrives, it will be too late. Buy Links:

PUBLISHER | AMAZON | ALL ROMANCE EBOOKS

Fruitcakes Author: Renee George Price: $1.99 eBook Summary: Losing your boyfriend because you see monsters...not good. Getting locked up in the local mental hospital because you accused your boss of being an actual ogre…also not good. Falling for your crazy roommate, who thinks he’s one of Santa's elves…so not good! Or is it? Come along for a sexy ride as Donner and Bran try to escape the locked ward before Christmas Eve so Bran doesn't lose the only job important to him. USA Today Bestselling author Renee George pens a laugh-out-loud MM Fairytale Christmas…Nuts included! Buy Links:

AMAZON | BARNES & NOBLE | APPLE | KOBO

Holiday Lights Author: Jana Denardo Price: Free Summary: Aaron asks Rhys for some help with putting up the tree and finalizing their holiday plans, even though he knows Rhys will have something to say about all of Aaron's geeky ornaments. Rhys puts his own special touches on the holiday decorating as only a fae could. Buy Links:

LIVE JOURNAL

Ilya and the Wolf Author: Rory Ni Coileain Price: $1.99 eBook Summary: Ilya, the youngest son of a Moscow oligarch, is so deep in the closet he’d find Narnia if that weren’t a decadent Western story. On Christmas Eve, his brothers lure him into the forest, intending to murder him and erase the shame he inflicts on their family by existing. However, the attempt is interrupted by Volyk, a wolf who carries the blood of the ancient oboroten’ —shapeshifters. Ilya never imagined a Christmas gift like the handsome wolf, but accepting what Volyk offers will have consequences that change both of their lives forever. Buy Links:

PUBLISHER | AMAZON | BARNES & NOBLE

Lion's Hero Author: Alexis Woods Price: $.99 eBook Summary: Eight nights to fall in love. Ari has a mission: meet and fall in love with a man chosen for him by God. The catch: he only has eight nights to complete it—the eight nights of Chanukah Gabriel has a test of faith. Reaching out to a young man, he finds himself confronted with the unbelievable. Believe, and the Festival of Lights may herald a miracle. Buy Links:

AMAZON | ALL ROMANCE | BARNES & NOBLE

Loving Blitz Author: Charlie Cochet Price: $3.99 eBook Summary: From North Pole City to Winter Wonderland, preparations are underway after a royal announcement sweeps everyone into a frenzy of festivity. At the heart of the celebration are the city’s most beloved elf pilots, the Rein Dears. Once the Big Flight is behind them, the pilots prepare for the royal event. Assigned a special task of finding an Elska rose, Cupid and Blitzen are unaware of how their friendship is about to change forever. Yet not all that glitters is gold. The sweet, angelic Cupid hides a dark secret, one that threatens to destroy his Rein Dear status, his friends, and the elf who’s captured his heart. It’s up to Blitzen to help Cupid see the light in the darkness and show him that together they can mend broken hearts. Buy Links:

PUBLISHER

The Magic of Christmas Author: Pelaam Price: $2.99 eBook Summary: Jared joins his four best friends on an early Christmas holiday in a beautiful winter wonderland. He's been in love with the talented and extroverted Casey for years, but lacked the courage to say anything. Casey loves Jared, but despite his gregarious exterior, inside lurks someone shy and insecure and so he's never spoken up. Both men are about to experience real Christmas magic. Buy Links:

MLR BOOKS | AMAZON

Nicolas Author: Dianne Hartsock Price: $6.99 eBook / $14.99 Paperback Summary: Betrayed by a lover, Jamie rents an isolated cabin on Lake Huron, wanting only to be left alone. Instead, he is pulled from his solitary existence as an artist and tumbles headlong into the legend of Saint Nicolas. As a young man, Nicolas accidentally killed a man intent on murdering three children, only to have the man's malicious spirit rise up against him. Fleeing through the centuries from the Krampus, the evil troll-like creature that dogs his steps, Nico finds refuge with the young artist who takes him into his home and bed. But Jamie has questions. Who is Nicolas, and why does the Krampus want to destroy him? Buy Links:

PUBLISHER EBOOK | PUBLISHER PAPERBACK

No One to Greet the Season Author: Elizabeth Barrette Price: Free (poem) Summary: Victor Frankenstein and Igor have a queerplatonic relationship and a constructed son. Igor's deformed back causes him more trouble in cold weather, which makes Christmas more of a challenge. Victor helps him through it. Gothic fluff, holiday hurt/comfort. Buy Links:

LIVE JOURNAL

Scrudge & Barley, Inc Author: John Inman Price: $6.99 eBook / $14.99 Paperback Summary: A classic tale takes off in sexy new directions! Poor Mr. Dickens must be twirling in his grave. When E.B. Scrudge, putz extraordinaire and all-around numbnuts, is visited by his dead ex on Christmas Eve, he can’t imagine how his life could sink any lower. But the three ghostly spirits that come along after are even worse! Good lord, a dyke, a drag queen, and rounding out the trio, a big, hunky bear with nipple rings and a butt plug! What’s next? What’s next is a good deal of soul-searching and some hard lessons learned with a dash of redemption thrown in for good measure. Buy Links:

PUBLISHER EBOOK | PUBLISHER PAPERBACK ALL ROMANCE EBOOKS

Silver/Steel Author: Belinda McBride Price: $6.99 eBook Summary: When dream hunter Dylan Ryve spots a beautiful shapeshifter raising hell in a bar, he knows he wants the wild young man. But Travis Feris is more to Dylan than a few hot minutes outside in the snow; he's the assassin's ticket into the magical town of Arcada. He didn't plan to rescue the kid, but when he found the shifter being attacked, the opportunity to play hero was too good to pass up. Through the solitude of a long winter night, Dylan walks in Travis's fevered dreams, learning about Arcada and the pack, and showing the shifter the man he'd been so very long ago. Buy Links:

AMAZON | ALL ROMANCE EBOOKS

Spindrift Gifts Author: Aidee Ladnier Price: $3.99 Summary: Scars and a tattoo may be the only physical reminders from his years as a slave, but when Jimenez suffers a setback in his medical treatment, the only option is a therapy that will wipe away his all memories of the past including his time with Teo. Teo, torn between supporting his lover's decisions and the good intentions of his family, sets out to teach Jimenez about Spindrift Gifts and how memories are celebrated on Celos even when they are painful. Can Teo and Jimenez weather the storm to find their happily-ever-after on Celos? Buy Links:

PUBLISHER | ALL ROMANCE EBOOKS

Tempted from the Oak Author: Rory Ni Coileain Price: $5.60 eBook Summary: With his blue eyes and heart-melting smile, Gavin could have been made-to-order to entice Tearlach, a lonely tree spirit. But the human is the one who’s been enticed—stolen from snow-buried Minneapolis to the Scottish Highlands by Tearlach’s darag, the ancient oak tree of which he is the living spirit. Tearlach is trapped within the darag by the terrible memory of his own death—hundreds, maybe thousands of years ago, but as recent to him as his last heartbeat. And if desire for the handsome human fails to tempt him out, spirit and oak are both doomed. Buy Links:

PUBLISHER | AMAZON | BARNES & NOBLE

Guest Post - Lime Gelatin Blog Tour - Paranormal Stories Should Be Serious

Hello, Everyone! Welcome to the mad writings of a demonic squirrel today! Oh *looks to the side* what? *listens* Oh, you don't say? Well *brushes off imperceivable piece of lint* I guess we're not listening to the mad ravings of a squirrel. It seems we have a guest author today. The wonderfully talented Angel Martinez is here to talk ago us about her new paranormal series,  Offbeat Crimes.

The series kicks off with her story, Lime Gelatin & Other Monsters. *looks at title name* You gotta love it, right?

So without further ado, here is Angel to talk to us about serious stuff. You know, funny. ;) Paranormal Stories Should Be Serious

Paranormal Stories Should Be Serious, Right?

Yeah, well, often they are. A lot of paranormal stories take themselves too seriously. I’ve written some pretty deadly serious paranormal stuff, too, though I can’t write serious all the time. A lot for the absurd always creeps back in. And boy is there a lot of stuff to make light of in the paranormal genre.

While I’ve run into quite a few paranormal stories in gay romance/fiction that have funny moments (even Whyborne and Griffin have endearingly hilarious moments) there isn’t much in the way of gay paranormal stories that are set up as humorous rather than as a serious stories. We have werewolves and vampires galore and their dark and trauma-laden pasts. We have ghost hunters and fae, zombies and psychics. But not a lot of comedy. Even mainstream het romance is a bit light on the comedic paranormal except for vampire rom coms. Absolutely buckets full of those. One of the few I can recall offhand in gay romance is Geoff Knight and Ethan Day’s zombie romance, Guess Who’s Coming At Dinner, which was hilarious. I can’t even find a list on Goodreads for gay paranormal humor. That might be operator error, though…

When Amber Allure gave us authors the 77th Precinct prompt, the idea was for each author to write about a paranormal police squad in a chosen city. The idea itself seemed humorous to me, but I knew my cohorts would most likely write serious paranormal with Character Trauma and Big Bad Things and stuff. I have to be different. Funny…but what?

I’ll confess, my first thought was a vampire detective, kind of the easy way out, using a defective vampire. But the more I thought about it, the more he needed cohorts, other officers with broken paranormal abilities, until I had a whole squad full of them. Poor vampire (who can only drink “skim blood”) was pushed to the sidelines and another character got to play hero, one who can only absorb other people’s abilities. This sometimes gets messy, dangerous, and occasionally embarrassing. And we needed monsters! Ridiculous ones! So, yes, I have a whole notebook page of the most absurd monsters I could think of, some of which morphed over time.

There’s still mayhem and destruction, cause I like mayhem and destruction, and a budding relationship that’s not treated as an absurdity, but I do hope the structure of the story and the adventures of my broken paranormal cops will strike some funny bones.

Lime Gelatin and Other Monsters

Offbeat Crimes 1

(part of Amber Allure’s 77th Precinct Pax)

Blurb:

Officer Kyle Monroe’s encounter with a strange gelatinous creature in an alley leaves him scarred and forever changed, revealing odd abilities he wishes he didn’t have and earning him reassignment to Philadelphia’s 77th Precinct where all the cops have defective paranormal abilities. 

Just as Kyle’s starting to adjust to his fellow misfit squad mates, his new partner arrives. Tall, physically perfect, reserved, and claiming he has no broken psychic talents, Vikash Soren irritates Kyle in every way. But as much as he’d like to hate Vikash, Kyle finds himself oddly drawn to him, their non-abilities meshing in unexpected ways. 

Now, if Kyle and Vikash can learn to work together, they just might be able to stop the mysterious killer who has been leaving mutilated bodies along the banks of the Schuylkill.  Excerpt:

Kyle sat up straighter, shifting to see between the heads in front of him. Soren looked like a poster boy for the model police officer, tall and straight, uniform crisp and sharp. He stood at parade rest beside the lieutenant, impassively surveying his new colleagues. A little knot of resentment lodged in Kyle’s stomach. At his own introduction to the 77th, he’d been nervous and fidgety, freaked out by the collection of…freaks. How can he be so calm? 

“Officer Soren transferred from the Harrisburg PD—” 

“Don’t they have enough freaky shit of their own up there?” Wolf called out in his rasping growl. 

“Since Harrisburg is in our jurisdiction,” she continued with a quelling glance. “He’ll start out partnered with Monroe.” 

“What does he do, ma’am? That it’s safe to put him with Kirby, er, Kyle?” Shira Lourdes asked as she flicked nervous glances across the room at Kyle. An empty chair slid away from her and fell over. Her partner, Greg Santos, shook his head and righted the unfortunate piece of furniture. 

“Officer Soren’s abilities are his business, which he may or may not choose to share if you ask. And don’t bully him about it either, any of you.” Lieutenant Dunfee swept the room again, pinning each of her officers with her needle-laser gaze like captive butterflies. “Monroe, my office after briefing. Info on your current case.” 

She dismissed them, stalking from the room with thunderclouds in her eyes. Kyle found himself approaching the new guy and trying his best not to be awkward. Did he offer to shake hands? Was it safe? Would the guy flinch like so many people did at the sight of Kyle’s scarred hands? Soren was even taller up close, six-foot-three of lean inscrutability, his blue eyes startlingly bright against smoky bronze skin. 

“Um, hi, I’m Kyle Monroe.” Kyle fidgeted when Soren didn’t offer his hand either. “You’re with me, I guess. I’ll show you our spot in the squad room.” 

Soren followed him silently and Kyle was starting to wonder if he was like Krisk in the not-speaking department until he finally spoke in a smooth, soft baritone, making Kyle startle and miss a step. “Why do they call you Kirby?” 

“You’d hear it sooner or later, I guess.” Kyle shrugged. “It’s this thing I do, absorbing other people’s talents temporarily. If they’re close to me. Or touch me. Like Kirby, the little pink dude in the video game.” 

“Ah.” 

Just that? Soren didn’t edge away, or change expression at all. Was he made of stone? “It’s a thing. Everyone here has a thing.” 

After a few more steps, Soren asked, “Always?” 

“What… Oh, was I always like this? Who knows? I mean, maybe I’ve picked up stray thoughts or something, but no. It’s pretty recent. Knowing that I do this.” 

Kyle took a wide arc around Vance as he entered the squad room, pointing to the double desk in the far corner, well removed from everyone else. “That’s ours. Coffee’s over there, but you might not want that coffee. Let me grab my file and we’ll go see the lieutenant.” 

“So what’s your story, Soren?” Vance called across the squad room. “What flies your freak flag?” 

“Yeah, what do you do?” Jeff Gatling stopped ’porting his banana from one corner of his desk to the other. 

“I don’t really do anything,” Soren answered as he hefted the empty coffeepot. “Guess I’ll make fresh since I’m the new guy.” 

He opened the top to remove the filter and every human voice in the squad room yelled out, “No!” 

Most people would have startled, maybe dropped the carafe. Soren just blinked at the roomful of people gesturing wildly. He took the filter out and emptied it over the trashcan. “Why not?” 

“You don’t want to do that.” Kyle stayed by his desk, a nice safe distance from the coffee station. “That’s Larry’s job.” 

“Larry’s not keeping up then.” 

The container of sweetener packets began to rattle. It shivered across the counter and leaped to a messy end, ceramic shards skittering across the floor. The desk that Krisk and Wolf shared rose from the floor several inches and slammed back down. Wolf fled with a squeaking yelp just before the desk flipped on its side. 

Soren glanced toward Kyle. “Larry’s not a cop, is he?” 

“He is…he was! A dead cop. Larry’s a ghost. He gets ticked if anyone else makes the coffee. Put the stuff back, please!” 

“Larry?” Soren raised his voice but to all appearances remained completely unruffled. “I’m new here. I’m very sorry I invaded your jurisdiction. See? I’m putting the carafe back. Closing the top. Are we good, Larry?” 

A breeze ruffled through a stack of papers, but no further mayhem ensued. The carafe slid from its pad on the coffeemaker and floated to the water cooler where Larry, who never manifested in a visible form, whistled tunelessly while he filled the carafe. 

From his dim corner of the room, Carrington said in his dry, genteel way, “Welcome to the Island of Misfit Freaks...” 

Giveaway:

2 commenters will be chosen at random (’cause I have a formula to do that and everything) for their choice of backlist Angel Martinez book!
 

HAHABT - Queering the Neighborhood

Welcome one and all! It's wonderful to participate in this years Hop Against Homopobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia this year as we all celebrate International Day Against Homophobia, Biophobia and Transpobia this May 17th, 2015. I sat for a while trying my darnedest to figure out what I should write about. I have lots to say, but when it came to this post I was stumped. I've written about bisexuality, homophobia, and all sorts of related topics so this should've been easy. I have talked about my bisexuality, should I talk about identifying as gender fluid? What would I say? I have talked about who I live in a conservative area so it makes it hard to met people like myself. To identify with anyone. Did I really want to discuss it again?

Nope. I write about those things in my books. I wanted something different for my blog post.

I sat staring at the screen and couldn't think of a thing. Frustrated I got up several times and came back, going 'round and 'round trying to decide what to say. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I had to do something.

So what did I do? I took a walk. I didn't think forcing myself to watch a cursor blink, and not have something to say, would be productive.

The walk cleared my head, let my mind wander. It gave me space from the problem and made me feel better (instead of being absolutely frustrated and no outlet for my energy). And while out on my walk I took my "usual route." A route I have taken since I was in high school, needing an escape. (Yes, I have lived in the area for a long ass time.)

Best decision ever.

It's a nice time of year in Chicagoland. The air is fresh, alive. Everything is in bloom. The weather is just cool enough to not be cold, but not so warm you're sweating buckets. You can appreciate the smells and sights around you.

I have several houses I enjoy seeing aka stalking (and their yards—what can I say? I'm a garden voyeur. A construction voyeur. A, well, a "I like to watch change" voyeur.) We have some perpetual home improvement tinkerers in the area. Something new is always popping up in their yard, around their house, etc.. You can't help watching and taking note of what's going on if you've lived in the area a long time.

One of those house is a little carpenter-style stucco house. It sits on a corner so you can see 3/4ths of the house and yard. The owners take good care of it. Over the years it has changed colors. White. Off-white. Green. And with those color changes came other improvements as well.

First was the the front porch. Earlier on they went with a cinderblock design that went surprising well. Not something you expected but it worked. Then they added a back patio. Nice pavers with garden boxes around it.

For years the guys in the house focused on the inside. There were two doors that entered the side of the house, which seemed a little odd until I figured out door was meant for down (the basement level) and the other for up (the ground level). Slowly the floors were replaced with wood. A state of the art kitchen went in. The entry with the doors? Well, that always seemed unfitted because there was no divide between them.

But hey, it wasn't my house. If they wanted to share the entry and have two doors, go for it. Odd design, but I've seen weirder. (Including one that added a pirate ship in their yard - no joke.)

After they renovated inside to their satisfaction (I assume), the guys focused back outside. A tall fence went up in the backyard—maybe to keep us voyeurs from looking in. But you could still see the yard, so *shrugs*.

A tiny garage was added. Their regular cars never go in it, but it holds the lawnmower and other fun stuff. Their porch table and chairs go in over the winter. Their fire pit too.

Yes, I notice a lot happening in and around the house, but I walk by it nearly every days for years and years. When I went away to college I missed stuff. That sucked because then I had to figure out what changed because stuff had changed there. Little improvements happened.

Decades (yes, decades) passed. Twenty years makes it plural.

The two guys that lived there obviously held a great deal of pride in their work. They had one of the nicest houses because it was loved. Their cars went from being beaters to the expensive kind. They had a dog. It grew up, barked when I walked by. Eventually he was gone, though. The stone steps to the front of the house have been replaced by wooden steps. So, yes, changes happened. Big and small.

Oh,  a few years ago the guys added one minor detail. One little thing that had changed in the twenty years I've walked by their house in the right-wing, conservation, catholic neighborhood they lived in.

On the outside of the fence, the one that went around their backyard, they added a flag holder.

The first flag they flew? A Pride flag. A beautiful rainbow flag. Four blocks from the catholic church. Three from the high school. 

You know what happened?

Nothing.

Not a damn thing.

You could say "No big deal, I see pride flags all the time." But the thing is, here? In my neighborhood? You don't. Their pride flag is the only one I have ever seen out and proud as soon as the weather permits.

Could that have happened twenty years ago? No. Not one bit. Do we have other LGBTQ families in the area. For sure. I mean, I live here. But it's not like we go around advertising it. Not like what these guys did.

What that flag represents, the fact that no one has complained or damaged their property in any way, means so much to me. The fact that these guys can hang their flag, and no one bats an eye, shows how far we've come as a people. It gives me hope. It fills me with pride. It shows the amount of change that has occurred in our area over the last twenty years.

The other thing that changed? The two doors to make the house look like separate living spaces? French doors now.

The couple went from pretending to share a house to feeling safe enough to live there as a couple. One of their cars even has an marriage equality bumper sticker on it.

That is huge. So huge. It speaks volumes more than I could ever say here.

It shows how even conservative areas like mine are changing, can change, to be a place where all people are comfortable being who they are and not fear the consequences.

I will take that small pride flag over any declaration people could make to me in town any day because it shows progress. It shows hope. And it proves acceptance can happen anywhere. The Mischiefers have a Rafflecopter going for the duration of HAHABT. Just enter below for the chance to win one of the many prizes being offered.a Rafflecopter giveaway Below are the other authors, artists, reviewers, and publishers participating in HAHABT. Just clink on the links below to experience many more fantastic stories (and the chance for more prizes).

The Nut Job Snippet

It's hard to believe I have another release coming up already. Between life, work and everything else, my schedule for stories is pretty slow. BUT, as you can see, another story for you guys to enjoy. The Nut Job is a novella-length SF story in the Foolish Encounters anthology. As you may have noted, I am in good company with Tali Spencer, Tinnean, Elin Gregory, JC Wallace, Angel Martinez and Amy Lane also taking part in our quirky romp. 

I thought it would be fun to introduce everyone to Spencer, my space captain with a Napoleon complex. The unsuspecting world may not be ready for him, but Spencer and the rest of his crew hits shelves April 1st. Enjoy!

The Chair & Fork Excerpt

“It’s still there, Spence.”

He bit down on his lip, giving Krapor side eyes.

The tall, lanky Tu’Varian glowered back. “Rcrred is gone and can’t take your damn chair.”

“Fine, but if it’s gone, I’m taking your new sonic screwdriver.”

Krapor paused in his gathering. His slender green fingers went to his work belt, cupping the screwdriver protectively. “You wouldn’t.”

Spencer crossed his arms, straightening up to his whole four and a half feet. It was shiny. He liked shiny.

“That’s just mean, Spence. I’d never find it again.”

He sniffed, looking away.

“No one can find anything in your hoard. Not even you.”

“I know exactly where everything is.”

Krapor tossed the handful of walnut hulls into the bin. “Oh yeah? Where’s that ornate metal fork you picked up on Irasol?”

“Left cubby, on the third row of the sixth rack on my north wall, in the orange plastic cup.”

The birds tweeted, several crickets made themselves known, the breeze rustled the leaves on the trees. Spencer continued checking his square of the forest floor, chucking half the yellowish-green walnuts hulls in the bins while pocketing the rest in his pouch he kept on hand for such occasions.

Only when Spencer looked up did he acknowledge Krapor, who was staring at him, slack-jawed.

Incredulous bastard. “What?”

“I can’t believe you can just spout off bullshit like that. You little sqoltal.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your quarters are the definition of complete chaos. They have a picture of it in the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe. Do not enter—danger zone. Dozens of safety regulations are broken in it, with a pukey rainbow as its permanent guest on your ceiling. There is no way you can know where that fork is.”

In Translation...

A while back, on one of the Facebook groups I belong to, the question was raised about translating LGBTQ fiction into other languages. A hot topic for many. Once my response got to be over 1000 words, I knew I had a blog post on my hands, so here it is.

Would I love my books translated into other languages so readers could enjoy more stories in their own native tongue? Yes. It would be great to spread LGBTQ fiction (and SF & F LGBTQ) further.

The biggest problem for independent US pubs is cost, and honestly, that will always be a deciding factor no matter how much someone wants to bring their books to a larger market.

CAN WE AFFORD TO DO THIS?

Will they make money, break even, or have a deficit if they choose to translate it? Depends on how well the author has sold and if large enough population outside the US pushes for it. If the company can't make the money back then that puts their US business in peril.

What kind of market can they take hold of to be able to promote the book? Most of the LGBT indie companies we work with/write for are established here in the US, and don't have a way to market the way we can here. Are there LGBTQ indie pubs overseas? Yes, but that's another topic. The freedom we have to write/publish here versus overseas is a different experience.

Will they be able to find a person who can translate well? I've seen translations from presses who have been ripped apart because the native speakers found faults in the translations.

I could go on, but that won't allow me to stipulate on some of the things I've seen/thought about.

I have seen arguments between English language authors and foreign language readers about pirated translations get horrid pretty fast, and I don't want to spend too much time on that but it does need to be part of the discussion - without the vitriol. Also, geography is important. To put it in perspective I want to use two genres as an example that are not English LGBT fiction: Scandinavian Mysteries & Yaoi (Japanese Boys' Love manga).

Would I love my books translated into other languages so readers could enjoy more stories in their own native tongue? Yes. It would be great to spread LGBTQ fiction (and SF & F LGBTQ) further. The US is huge, with a lot of people, 330 million. All of Europe has about 742 million combined. We have a lot of people to create works for us, some of which aren't English, but the vast majority of books published here for the casual reader are in English. Now, the difference here, even though we have a smaller population is that the populace - until more recently - only needed to speak one language while Europeans are used to being multilingual. My brother in law speaks four languages regularly. Me? One. Take a look at the maps below to get an idea of what i'm talking about. They're not perfect, but I think the point is clear. Take a look of the one with Texas - our second largest state. How many different languages and cultures are shown in just that state?
Europe superimposed over Eastern US. Texas superimposed over Europe. Our societies have been structured differently from the get go. We drive two medium size states over, they're still speaking English. Travel the same distance in Europe and you have the possibility of encountering four, five, or six different languages depending on the direction. The average American will never have that experience. In Europe, being multilingual is a necessity and how business is done. If a book sells really well in one country, the others notice and approach that publishing house, work out a deal and get it translated as a course of business, but those are the best sellers on their lists. Some of the medium sized sellers may too, because they are used to this and have a business model to work with.

In the US, there are thousands of books published in English every week. A tiny fraction of those will only ever see translations in a foreign language. Only the big best sellers are approached — Stephen King is a perfect example — by publishing houses in foreign countries for the rights to translate and publish. It's not automatic and LGBT writers aren't discriminating against non-English speakers. We're writing in our own language and have not been approached by LGBTQ pubs in Europe to work out deals like the traditional model.

What about Scandinavian Mysteries? How does that apply? This applies to my geography issue, and the observations here are qualitative.

Stieg Larsson's The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (aka Men Who Hate Women) got rave reviews and was out long before it ever got a US English translation. My dad ordered the UK version of it a year before it came out here. What does this tell us? It tells us translation is not a given. Mysteries were considered 'dead' in some sense here in the US and here comes this Scandinavian writer that changes everything. If his book hadn't sold as well as it did in Sweden, then it wouldn't have been translated for everyone else. US publishers wouldn't have noticed the sales in the UK and they never would have approached him/his representatives for the rights to publish here. Larsson had this awesome and different book with a strong bisexual female protagonist, and it changed things. He not only reinvigorated the US Mystery market, but he put Scandinavian mystery writers on the map. Sweden is about 450,000 square miles with a population of just under 9.6 million. The Chicago metro area (in red) is almost 11,000 square miles, and a population of just over 9.6 million. Look at who is being brought over from Europe to the US—it's still the Scandinavian mystery writers they're bringing over, not the best French or German or Italian mystery writers - but more like Larsson. They found a spot to mine and that's what they're digging at until it dries up. Are there fantastic German/Spanish mysteries English readers are missing out on? Hell yeah, but we don't know because they aren't being pursued by publishers here. We also have a highly competitive market in our own language. Think about it. The size of the Chicago metro area (where I live) has almost the same population of all of Sweden. City vs Country. Think about it. Are those mystery readers pirating/translating the mysteries because they can't get them here? More often than not, no, no they aren't. Some are, there is always a small fraction of any population that will do so.

What this shows us that exclusion isn't on purpose. It can be hard to feel that, though, especially when you've been excluded for being who you are every day on some level.

LGBTQ writers here in the US aren't purposefully keeping their materials away from other LGBTQ readers. But for people who are often excluded or are harassed or discriminated against I can see why it would feel that way. We don't have the network and resources built in like the traditional publishing houses do, and that's part of the growing pains, but more on that in a bit.

Growing pains and exclusion actually leads me to Yaoi - for simplicity sake, the Japanese manga version of MM Romance. There's also the tamed down version of it called shounen-ai. Just like MM it has varying degrees of heat and explicitness. Just like MM it hit big, huge in fact, in the market. Anime and manga were being imported from Japan to the US with increasing amounts, and Yaoi was among the products doing well. For a while.
SuBlime is a newer publisher in the game, slowly acquiring and rescuing titles. If you were at Yaoi-con this year they announced a couple new titles. Their eBook versions of their titles is the best that I've seen down in the industry. June is still publishing Yaoi but at a greatly reduced number. There were a few things that changed the landscape of importing manga and anime in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The internet being one of them, and a younger, savvier internet generation. Social media platforms made another huge impact. The way people could share information and their likes changed, and as that happened, so did another thing. Attitude. That one caused a lot of changes in the publishing landscape on many different ends-the authors, the consumers, the Japanese publishers, and the American publishers.

Yaoi has been around for a while, and was the big thing (in my mind) before MM Romance. It rose up in the 1970s in Japan and by the 1990s was often called Boys' Love, or BL. Its roots were in the Japanese dojinshi that parodied popular shonen (Boy's) manga and anime. What may have surprised some (but not others) was its staying power. In the 1990s, several companies were bringing over any (and really, I do mean any) anime and manga from Japan. We became a viable market for them and they started handing out their rights, signing big deals with lots of companies. Little, smaller operations popped up, wanting to bring over their favorites but not seeing the bigger names doing so. All sorts of genres fell into this. Popular anime and manga in Japan weren't necessarily what hit over here so it was a learning curve for everyone. And for a while, paradise. You could find anything you wanted.
If you're wondering about the "dated" look of Gravitation, that's because this manga was started in 1996. TokyoPop (now defunct in the US - the international arm is still going) brought it over during our Yaoi/Shounen-ai boom. People ate up anime and manga like no tomorrow. Lots of stuff got brought over, Yaoi being one of those things. And guess what? It was a huge hit, especially with female readers. Sound familiar? For a while dozens of Yaoi were being published a month, more on the way all the time. And then it all started to stop, slowly, bit by bit. The cash flow ebbed and all sorts of things got blamed. People had the demand, they wanted this anime and manga, so why was it too expensive to do any more?

What changed was the landscape.

We went from VHS tapes and paperbacks to DVDs and PDFs. On the internet, you could find anything, do anything, SHARE anything with anyone you wanted. The response was immediate. Hey, you want to know what happened in the next episode? Guess what, I translated it for you and uploaded to this server. Check it out. Geneon brought over some really fun stuff and a huge variety of anime. They were one of the companies that went belly up here in the states. One of their titles was Kyo Kara Maoh!, a shounen-ai. It was actually a very popular anime in Japan. It's still ongoing as a manga and light novels. The anime also has a PlayStation 2 game. It ran for 117 episodes with 5 OVAs, and was even made into a musical. Here is the US, we have two seasons. When Geneon closed their doors in 2007, Funimation finished off the second season (78 episodes) for them and then let it drop (it's license expired in 2011). Now, Kyo Kara Maoh! had its issues, but this was an overall positive role model for LGBT youth that we lost. The industry 'couldn't' meet fan demand. So, the fans took it into their own hands. They'd get pirated copies of shows or manga, do their own translation, and upload it to share. Who were they hurting? Those companies made a ton of money, right? Besides, they were too slow in getting the really good stuff out there. They had no taste. The fans could do it better than the paid translators anyway. Another problem? The readers were mostly teens and young adults – women — who didn't have the means to buy the translations. Not an uncommon problem LGBTQ youth have in today's market. (It is hard to buy the materials when you're afraid who might find them or have the means - job, credit card - to buy them legally and have to ask mom and dad to buy them when you're still trying to figure it out.)

All sorts of explanations went flying.  But what was happening is this: American companies invested in the Japanese manga and anime, but they no longer had buyers to give it to. Oh, now don't get me wrong, I have several bookshelves I can show you proving some of us bought, that many did. But with the illegal shares online (and some bad business decisions - no one thing can be blamed, but some shoulder it more), people stopped buying. They traded. So the companies who spent tens of thousands of dollars to put anime and manga out there weren't seeing revenues. Fans would refuse to take stuff down. Litigation happened, draining resources, and a sense of the right to share infused a certain portion of the fan base.

The result?

Less anime, less manga, and as a result less Yaoi. Publishers closed their doors because they couldn't afford to stay open and fight to get the translations down and not make money, as did companies of anime distribution. You want to tell me illegal translations didn't affect the market?  Junjo Romantica was one of the more popular mangas, by Shungiku Nakamura, that the now defunct BLU publishing released. It is an ongoing manga with 18 volumes (and spin offs and animes). We don't have all 18. Masara Minase was a popular mangaka to scanalate. She had some more controversial titles like this one (incest). DramaQueen brought over a few of her titles, and since they are now defunct, the few that were brought over are no longer available. I was/am an avid Anime and manga fan. When I found Yaoi, I ate it up. They turned out one book after another, and then dates got pushed back, titles weren't going to happen. I bought Anime on a regular bases, trust me, I have the shelves filled with the stuff. I WATCHED as companies folded. I saw the genre I read, watched, and enjoyed evaporate. I encouraged people to buy and not read scanalations, or pirated translations on YouTube. But the writing was on the wall. I can't just go out to the store, see a huge selection and just buy what I want now.
Here's a list of publishers that opened and CLOSED during the Yaoi boom: Drama Queen, Be Beautiful, BLU, Broccoli, and Deux Press. (It may not be complete, there are a couple I can't tell if they are defunct now or not). As an example, Drama Queen was founded in 2005 and closed its doors in 2010-2011ish (I think). They lost the rights to a lot of their titles not long after opening their doors and were on extended hiatus for a good portion of that time. BLU was publishing arm of TokyoPop originally started bringing manga to the US in 1997 and eventually went bust by 2011 for a variety of reasons (the Border's bankruptcy did not help). 
Deux was an arm of Aurora Publishing that closed its doors in 2010. This is, Say Please, a title by Kano Miyamoto. Yebisu Celebrities was published by Be Beautiful, now defunct. The manga has been "rescued" but only in digital format. Another Deux title, Yazuka in Love, this time by the ever amusing Shuiko Kano. Another Drama Queen title, Your Honest Deceit. A BLU title, Alley of First Love, a friends to lovers romance. Some are still open, but not many, and they aren't producing what they used to. Just compare what June Manga produced in January of 2008 to January of 2014. In 2008 they were producing six titles a month (you can find it here) and now, in 2014, January had one title (you can find it here), and they don't always have a release anymore. A Toko Kawai title release from the still functioning June Publishing. A Hyouta Fujiyama title from the still open Yen Press. Another side effect of the illegal translations was the erosion of trust with US businesses. 

Have new companies and relationships been forged? Yes, I won't deny that. But we aren't getting the same number of Yaoi translations we used to. The Japanese companies are tentative with what rights they do give. Some of the Yaoi companies popping up are forming from non-Japanese artists.

One example is SuBLime Manga (they have excellent PDF files by the way, best I've ever seen – love them). They have worked hard on getting Japanese companies to work with them again. To get the rights of Yaoi titles that were hanging in the wind because the other businesses shut down. But they had to work for each and every title, and the rights to print and digital versions were negotiated separately.

In fact, they had a post thanking fans for the responsibility they've shown with the digital works (you can find it here) because it has allowed them to negotiate new rights with other mangaka and their representatives. But it has taken a lot of effort.  Crimson Spell was released through Kitty Media, but they are no longer around. This is actually one of the titles rescued by SuBlime. SubLime's Crimson Spell. As you can see, the covers are different, but I'm for one happy to buy the continuation of the series. It was in limbo for so long (not unlike other titles). Japanese businesses and writers don't want to sign over rights to have their works published. And why? They weren't making money. This was their livelihood, how they earned the clothes on their backs, and the food on their table, and instead of giving them a more comfortable existence, what they got was a major headache. Lots of titles are now out of print because of the companies going belly up. Those artists can't resell their rights because a creditor has them. And they are wary of doing more business.

SuBLime worked their tail off to get the titles that they have, and they aren't many. It is my hope that readers continue to show them respect by not sharing their translations. Many people watched as the industry fell apart, and many readers mourned the loss, so a lot of those same readers are now protective of the Yaoi that comes over now. We know if we screw it up this time, we get cut off.

And all of this mirrors the debate of translations for English-writing MM authors. If people go around sharing and translating without permission, claiming it’s not hurting anyone, the evidence says otherwise. The sharp decline of Yaoi being brought to the US shows this. If people are saying it's because we're excluding readers, it is not. It's about the resources and ability to be able translate it and the fear of revenue lost to piracy and unpredictable new markets.

Writing takes time. Editing, covers, and marketing all cost the publishers and authors money. If authors can't earn from their writing, then they have to work regular jobs, which means their production goes down, or stops. Just because you can get it on the internet does not equal free. There are a lot of things we can get online that we have to pay for and are willing to do so. If we cannot support the people who create the work that we read, it will go away. I've seen it happen. I don't want to see it happen again. It's not the same when it comes limping back. The selection is smaller and not as diverse or as interesting. Do we really want that to happen here, to us now?

We have an easier way to publish our work in the US, but we are by no means the only ones producing MM Romance. It would be nice to see small pubs overseas reach out to US companies and US companies reach out to foreign companies to work on getting translations, working with each other just like the big pub houses do. But they need the time to allow that to happen. Readers need to give them the time to make those connections because we're new. We're fledglings in this business and haven't had the time to build those connections.

We need to work together, not against each other, if we want to expand our genre farther. Instead of pointing fingers, people finding solutions so we can make the spread of love happen would be more beneficial. Money drives the market, and if that money dries up, so does our market, our chance to have ourselves realized in fiction. It sucks to say something like that, but it doesn't make it less true.

So do I want my books in translation? Hell yeah. And someday, I hope it happens, but first we got to make it so it's possible.

GRL 2014 Excerpt Book Cover Reveal

Hello, everyone!

Today is the big day for the 2014 GRL Excerpt Book Cover Reveal! There is actually two books because of the 80ish authors participating. One for Featured Authors and the other for Supporting Authors. These will be handed out for free at GRL by the authors, so just scurry around and pick up your copy.

There are two covers for the two books. As you can see, the Featured Authors have red/black font with a sepia hue while the Supporting Authors have blue/white font with a blue hue. So be sure to take a good look when you're picking up your copy - we want you to enjoy everyone's excerpts.

I am looking forward to seeing everyone at the event! I will be the one with the squirrel shirt on. ;)