pleasefindthis's Blog: Written On The Side Of The Page , page 30

The Time You Nearly Died When You Were Still Older

As you fell, you begged the air for just a little more time, for a second chance to do all the things you'd always meant to do.

So here it is.

You'll remember nothing of what happened.

You'll feel exactly the same.

You'll find yourself back in front of the computer, reading the same post on the same blog that started it all so many years ago.

And only the words in this post have changed.

And this is a little more time.

And this is your second chance.

And it starts: Now.

The Words I Will Read So We Recognise Each Other When We Meet Again

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy, happier than I've probably ever been. If you detect any sadness, it is only because I have found you in this life but I am not sure if I have found you in previous lives and I am worried about finding you in future ones.

What if there is a series of sad me's going backwards and forwards in time who did not and do not find you?

What if this is the only point of light along that infinite line?

So I am sorry if there is a hint of sadness.

I am just feeling sorry for myself.

The Reminder Of The Thing You Said You'd Do

Try and remember what you said you'd do and why you said you'd do it.

Forget what you think other people want the thing you said you'd do to be.

The thing you said you'd do should only be what you want the thing you said you'd do to be.

If the thing you said you'd do makes other people happy, that's great but don't say things or do things just to make them happy.

Find new ways to do the thing you said you'd do that don't change the meaning of what you said you'd do.

Have the purest of intentions for what you said you'd do and do it bravely.

If the thing you said you'd do becomes successful, continue to act and think like it is unsuccessful, otherwise you'll spend your time worrying that it might become unsuccessful.

If you said you'd involve people in the thing you said you'd do, listen to them when they say what they think you should do.

If you said you'd do the thing you said you'd do alone, then go boldly into the wilderness and may your own soul be company enough, while you do the thing you said you'd do.

Do right by the thing you said you'd do. Tend to it and love it.

By trying to remember what you said you'd do and the reason why you said you'd do it.

The Weight Of Stone

If you tie every word you've ever heard about yourself on a string around your head, one day you won't be able to lift it anymore.

The Stars Look Like Drops Of White Paint

I know you might think that you're just sitting there, looking at some random website, reading some stupid words and maybe the world has told you who you are for so long that you've started to believe it. But, please, remember that you're so much more than this.

Remember who you really are.

The Soft Crackle

Yet love's like a needle on a record, taking parts of you away as it draws sharply and constantly across the heart, in slow descending circles, just to hear a song hidden in the scratches one more time.

The Future Is Made Of Stones

Don't be angry and make art often. For those of you who do not make art, will make war. And those of you who do not make war, will be left to make art from what remains.

The Map Of Shadows

Sometimes I want to ask complete strangers who have never even met me or had any interaction with me, who have done nothing to influence my experience of the world in any respect whatsoever,

"How can you hate me as much as you do?

And other days, I know they don't even know me. And maybe they would be ok with me, if they did.

The Complications Start With You

Here is the simple truth about people: Love the ones you want to keep.

The Objection Your Honour

Just then, right in the middle of the brilliant monologue your defence attorney is delivering about all the things you've done and all the people who love you, the prosecution slides a note over to you, "Don't ever forget, everybody hates you."

You add it to the pile of notes he's already given you, which read:

"No one will ever understand you in the way that you desperately want them to understand you."
"You will watch all your favourite musicians kill themselves and all your movie stars will grow old."
"Everything you've ever made has been trite and cliche and horrible. In fact anyone who's ever said they've liked anything of yours has done so out of pity"
"One day you and someone you love will find yourself in a room and one of you will be dead and the other will wish they were."

All of which he will later enter as Exhibit B in the long, drawn out court case to convict you of being simply pathetic and sad and useless at everything, really.

And yet your defence attorney carries on. And you know that sometimes, he's fighting for your life.