pleasefindthis's Blog: Written On The Side Of The Page , page 24

The Shedding Of Skin

If you're not who you used to be, you still have time to become who you could be.

The Reading Of Words

Fleetingly Festive

So, as you may have noticed, we're not really here right now. Or at least, less so than usual.

Jon is capturing light, somewhere in the world - I'm never really sure where he is but I'm pretty close to getting some kind of electronic bell that goes around his neck and periodically texts me the words, "Hello, I am alive and I am at these coordinates, please do not tell the government."

And I am finishing (reading and writing) books, at home in Cape Town, a place you should visit if you ever get the chance. I have family visiting so I have an excuse to do the things that tourists do and even though I've lived here on and off since 1999, I am always amazed at how blisteringly beautiful it is and how lucky I am. I hope you occasionally find yourself surrounded by beautiful things.

If poetry teaches us anything, it's that finding a muse is not nearly as important as losing one. Every year around this time, I lose you all and there's a kind of comfortable silence we all must live in, while we acknowledge the fact that the giant spaceship has one again successfully navigated a course around the ball of fire in the sky that gives us all life. I hope it's been a good journey for you.

We walk the dogs and we are amazed that there are owls in the park and the dogs are amazed that there are squirrels and certain members of the older generation of my family are amazed at apple TV and aren't quite sure how hard to press the buttons on the remote. I hope you find things to be amazed by.

Someone once told me that it always rains somewhere pretty this time of year. I hope wherever you are at this time of year, the sky does something pretty for you.

My best,

Me

The Strange Things That Break Your Heart

A wall broke my heart. A wet field of grass broke my heart. A child hugging his parents legs in an airport broke my heart. Water in a bath has broken my heart. A tattoo has broken my heart. A photograph on the internet broke my heart. A watch broke my heart. Holding my breath underwater broke my heart.

You have your unique fractures along your heart, and I have mine. And maybe there is nothing, anywhere, that doesn't break someone's heart.

The Splinter Of Light

I know that love is both an emotion and an action, like light is both a particle and a wave. So I love you like light moves through glass. As if sunlight could shatter windows and shine on the shadows, in my heart.

The Heart Ends Its Own Pain

Anyone made of pure love would live forever. But you are taught to hate. And hate is what kills you. It kills you because love made you. It kills you with lines on your face and hurt in your heart. It makes you old and it makes you dead.

It's so simple to live long. Love makes babies but hate kills us all.

The Illusion Of Things Never Changing

You think, “This is life, this is just how it is and how it’ll always be.” But you are living through something. And while, logically, you must know that there was a time before now, when things were different, and that there will be a time after now, and things will change, it’s so hard to remember right now: Everything will change. 
You are alive in a memory. 
You, are once upon a time. 

The Tension Between Who You Are

You want to be so many things. I always thought you would settle down one day and be ok with just being who you are. And what kind of monster would I be, to ask you to want to be less?
Maybe wanting to be so many things, is just who you are.

The Design Of A Sickness

It only starts to hurt when you leave.

The Sad Sea Waves

When I look at you, I can see the person you used to be drowning in the person you are. And it makes me nostalgic and sad because I know when you look at me, you must see the same thing.