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Rainfall puts out Australia fires

After months of untamable wildfires with seemingly no end in sight, a deluge of rain has finally extinguished two of Australia’s massive wildfires. Over the past four days in Sydney, 15.3 inches of rain have caused dangerous floods, but also put out over 30 fires, including the Gospers Mountain blaze northwest of Sydney, which has burned more than 1,265,179 acres since October. The similarly destructive Currowan fire, near the town of Shoalhaven, was also extinguished after 74 days.

According to the New South Wales Rural Fire Service, the rains are “the most positive news we’ve had in some time.”

This is the most positive news we've had in some time.

The recent rainfall has assisted firefighters to put over 30 fires out since Friday. Some of these blazes have been burning for weeks and even months.#NSWRFS #NSWFires pic.twitter.com/fNyuSE6nAx

— NSW RFS (@NSWRFS) February 10, 2020

Despite the welcome relief from the wildfires, the heavy rainfall has left 100,000 homes without power, and officials are warning of dangerous flash floods.

Many are celebrating the rainfall nonetheless. The BBC reported that this weekend’s rainfall has replenished water supplies after years of drought.


More like this: How you can help the people and animals affected by the fires in Australia

The post Heavy rain finally comes to Australia, extinguishing two massive fires appeared first on Matador Network.

Escape cheap trip planning contest

Are you that friend who’s always sending texts peer-pressuring your friends to jump on $250 flights to Thailand? Are you the person on the airplane smugly smiling to yourself because you know you paid less than the poor sucker sitting next to you?

When you saw this tool from MIT that shows you the cheapest flights from your home airport, did you bookmark it immediately and use it as your cheap-flight bible?

Okay, champion of cheap vacations. Let’s see how good your budget travel planning skills really are. Escape, the global travel search engine behind that insane flight tool, wants to see who, in fact, is the world’s best at finding flight deals — and it will give $10,000 to whoever comes out on top.

From now until March 15, you can go to Escape’s website and plan a trip that stops in every continent except for Antarctica. The idea here is to plan the trip as cheaply as possible, scouring for the best deals to get you all around the world. The 25 people who plan the cheapest trips will win free flights up to $500, and the grand champion will get 10,000 smackers to spend on their own global adventure.

To add a little sense of competition to your trip planning, Escape also offers a real-time leaderboard, so you can see how your flight search skills stack up. It’s a little like a Peloton class, with inspiration that doesn’t involve a sweat towel.

When March 15 rolls around, whoever has the cheapest six-continent trip planned gets the $10,000. So get your clicking fingers ready, flight-search mavens. The time you “waste” at work daydreaming about travel may pay more than your job if you’re good enough. And even if you’re not, you’ll at least learn how seeing the world is a lot easier than you think.


More like this: MIT developed a new map that is the only cheap flight search tool you’ll ever need

The post This flight search engine will pay you $10,000 for planning the cheapest round-the-world trip appeared first on Matador Network.

Best NYC shows with LGBTQ characters

There’s no place like home — just ask Transparent star Alexandra Billings, who recently became the first openly transgender actress to play Madame Morrible in the Broadway production of Wicked. After her inaugural performance, Billings wrote on Instagram, “Last night I had the honor to be placed gently and with loving hands into the glorious Land of Oz…Where home is defined by truth and the power of chosen family.”

Wicked, the girl-power prequel to The Wizard of Oz, has always had a home in the hearts of queer audiences, but the casting of Billings is monumental for LGBTQ individuals in the New York theater scene. Billings joins a small but mighty community of trans performers who’ve finally cracked the Great White Way’s glass ceiling. (RuPaul’s Drag Race finalist Peppermint became the first openly trans actress to originate a principal role in a Broadway musical in 2018.)

For queer theater fans visiting New York City, Billings is part of a season replete with plays and musicals honoring LGBTQ voices. Here’s a list of the year’s best shows featuring LGBTQ characters.

The Inheritance

Photo: The Inheritance/Facebook

This modern stage adaptation of E.M. Forster’s 1910 novel Howard’s End paints a vivid and precise portrait of millennial gay life in New York City. The Homeric two-part tale is told over seven hours; you can either see both parts in a single day or purchase tickets for separate days. With conversations about things like the AIDS epidemic, partying on Fire Island, and defining the word “camp,” this is the most quintessentially queer show currently playing on Broadway.

Where: Ethel Barrymore Theatre, 243 W 47th St

Company

Photo: Company Broadway/Facebook

The West End’s critically acclaimed revival of Stephen Sondheim’s 1970 musical transfers to New York City in March with a brand-new cast, save the inimitable Patti LuPone. The show, about a single soon-to-be 35-year-old working through commitment issues, is gender-swapped to reflect the times: Bobby is now Bobbie, and the role, usually played by a man, will be portrayed by Tony Award-winning actress Kristina Lenk. The song “Not Getting Married Today,” traditionally sung by a straight woman, has also been reimagined. It’ll now be sung by a gay man who’s seriously reconsidering his decision to get married.

Where: Bernard B. Jacobs Theatre, 242 W 45th St

Jagged Little Pill

Photo: Jagged Little Pill/Facebook

Inspired by Alanis Morisette’s 1995 album of the same name, this jukebox rock musical features a high school character named Frankie, who gets caught up in a bisexual love triangle. Frankie’s relationships are only a portion of the play, however. Jagged Little Pill is jam-packed with subplots related to a bunch of newsworthy buzz words. There’s addiction, rape, climate change, race, and all the Alanis Morisette hits your inner ‘90s kid can handle.

Where: Broadhurst Theatre, 235 W 44th St

The Confessions of Lily Dare

Photo: Charles Busch/Facebook

Charles Busch, the writer and legendary female impersonator of New York’s downtown theater scene, is getting out his best gowns for a new Off-Broadway play this winter. Busch plays Lily, a girl who goes from a convent gal to a cabaret chanteuse to a bordello madame in a quirky, queer send-up of a time when Bette Davis was the baddest woman in town. Busch is a veritable RuPaul of the NYC theater scene; watching him channel Hollywood’s golden age actresses is a lesson in high-class camp.

Where: Cherry Lane Theatre, 38 Commerce St

Honorable mentions

Photo: The Book of Mormon on Broadway/Facebook

Aside from these new productions, Broadway has a few old favorites still worth checking out. The bright-eyed missionaries in The Book of Mormon are gayer than Christmas and sweeter than candy, and Mean Girls is “almost too gay to function.” If you’re looking for musicals about queer icons, look no further than Tina Turner’s eponymous musical (leading-lady Adrienne Warren sings the roof off the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre), and a piece about the late Princess of Wales, Diana, which begins previews in March. Lastly, Grand Horizons, a new play by Bess Wohl, features out actor Michael Urie (Ugly Betty). The play focuses on a husband and wife who decide they want to call it quits after 50 years. Urie plays their gay son, a dedicated high school drama teacher.


More like this: The best LGBTQ museums and archives around the world

The post The Broadway shows you need to see in NYC: LGBTQ edition appeared first on Matador Network.

Is it weird or sad to eat alone

This is the Travel Take, where Matador’s writers and editors make the case for their favorite travel hacks, tips, and personal tics.

It doesn’t matter if you’re someone who travels to eat or someone who eats for the energy to keep traveling: Sharing a meal with your companions is an essential part of the journey. But eating alone can be just as special. Next time you find yourself somewhere new, carve out some time to eat at a local restaurant by yourself.

Few experiences can better teach you about where you are, the people who live where you are, and the other tourists who visit. Eating alone is like donning Harry Potter’s Cloak of Invisibility — you get to hear what people say when they think no one is listening.

Don’t stress about feeling lonely. Trust me, you won’t be. Be present in the moment. Don’t rely on headphones or screens to keep you company. Without your friends in tow, there’s no pressure for small talk between bites of food, just a chance to soak in the local vibe. Restaurants are where people catch up, get into fights, and hide their affairs. They’re where local business leaders meet and where enviously fashionable people, seemingly unemployed, dine for hours in the middle of the day. Observing all this with no distractions is like a glimpse into what it would be like if you, too, were a local.

Eating alone provides ample time to people watch — an essential vacation activity. It’s far easier to enjoy the farcical conversations of loud strangers (and share a moment with the bartender laughing about those conversations after) when you don’t have to also keep up a conversation with a dining companion. The pleasure of dining solo doesn’t come from being by oneself, per se, but from being open to what’s around you.

I can understand the aversion to publicly eating alone. Silence can be awkward, as can sideways glances from strangers. It’s also important to note that, as a white guy, I rarely have to worry about discrimination or feel threatened by unwanted advances. When I’m mocked, it’s often harmless, like when a bar owner in Marseille, France, who, upon learning I was American, strutted around with her shoulders pushed out imitating what I’d look and sound like after drinking the mid-afternoon pastis I ordered.

Then there’s all of the media out there that say eating alone is bad. “Is it true that eating alone is bad for you?” one Guardian headline asks before listing studies that find a link between frequent solo dining and depression, heart conditions, and diabetes. But those studies are often flawed by small sample sizes or skewed demographics. They also don’t take into account that, when done right, a solitary restaurant meal while traveling gives more insight into the day-to-day culture of a location than six stops on the hop-on, hop-off bus. It’s a break from the sightseeing, constant walking, and pressure to make the most of every moment. The only downside is that there are less chances to try a variety of dishes off the plates of what other people ordered — though of course, this is the time to order as many dishes as you want without judgment.

What you do get to eat, however, is consumed in concentrated bliss. There’s no order shaming or diet restrictions to be considered other than your own. You can try that regionally specific dish without having to listen to a single close-minded or judgemental comment. You can even close your eyes and think about each ingredient and flavor in a basic grilled cheese if you want. Meals alone are when you realize that taste buds are your best buds, and that quality, uninterrupted time together is the key to happiness.

But you only get to use your taste buds fully, and experience the pleasures of people watching, if you get out and eat a meal alone.


More like this: When Paris isn’t what you expected, go to a cafe

The post Why you should always eat a meal alone during your travels appeared first on Matador Network.

Best cities for black travelers 2020

The Year of Return has come to an end, and whether or not you were able to make the pilgrimage, it remained a cultural phenomenon, sweeping the diaspora worldwide. This celebrity-studded, year-long event was created by the Ghanaian government to commemorate the 400th anniversary of the first African slaves arriving at Jamestown, packaged in an invitation to Ghana. Formally announced by President Nano Akufo-Addo in September 2018, its aim was to celebrate “the cumulative resilience of all the victims of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade” and to promote a “consistent boost in tourism for Ghana in the near and distant years.” Even now, Ghana is unveiling its Beyond the Return tourism initiative, so if 2019 ended without you collecting a Ghananian passport stamp, you could absolutely still go.

Though the invitation still stands, some are unsure where else in the world they’ll be able to readily connect to other black tourists besides Ghana. If you are among them, here are a few places that would be perfect to travel to if you’re looking to connect with the black diaspora in 2020, from other major cities in Africa to cities in the US, Europe, and beyond. It’s a big world, and there’s a little something for everyone within it.

1. For the politically aware: Washington, DC

Photo: Deborah Kolb/Shutterstock

Because of its seat as the US capital and the home to the notorious incubator of black activists, Howard University, and The United States Federal District, Washington, DC, has long invited black travelers and transplants. While a selfie in front of the Washington monument can be merely Instagram-fodder for some, to a black American, it can be the culmination of a pilgrimage. The monument and its surrounding reflecting pool can hearken memories of Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King Jr.’s iconic “I Have a Dream” speech at the seminal protest of the civil rights movement: The March on Washington. If your interests sway toward the political, DC may just be your perfect destination this year.

In 2020, DC is poised to welcome thousands of tourists for an ambitious multi-exhibit program celebrating the 100th anniversary of the 14th amendment to the US constitution. For those unfamiliar, this piece of legislation, ratified on August 18, 1920, prohibits the federal government and encompassing states from denying an otherwise eligible citizen the right to vote based on gender. Though considered a major turning point in the US’s political history, it also left many states in the position of continuing to limit voting rights on the basis of race, leaving many black women unable to vote for an additional 45 years. This is a fact so frequently overlooked that even the official destination marketing organization of DC devotes only half a sentence to it in their preamble about the centennial celebrations.

But don’t let this deter you from visiting: A presidential election year in the US, 2020 might be the perfect moment for black women to, as Rep. Maxine Waters might say, reclaim your time by celebrating the 55th Anniversary of the Voting Rights Act. This law formally granted black women the right to vote in 1965. Should you choose to go to DC, be sure to check out Rightfully Hers: American Women and the Vote, an exhibit that goes beyond the 19th amendment to tell the complete story of voting rights for all women. A comprehensive installation exhibiting documents, photos, and other mementos, it is on view at the National Archives Museum until January 2021.

While in Chocolate City, many black visitors may want to skip the ironically named White House and head instead to the National Portrait Gallery. There you will find Kehinde Wiley and Amy Sherald’s respective portraits of the former President and First Lady, Barack and Michelle Obama. The paintings will be headed out on a nationwide tour in 2021, so now’s your chance to view them in their rightful home at the Smithsonian.

Also not to be missed is the recently opened National Museum of African American History and Culture, which will only be celebrating its fourth birthday this year. Among the many items in its permanent collections is the uniform jersey worn by none other than the late Kobe Bryant in the 2008 NBA Finals. After he and his wife Vanessa became founding donors of the museum, Kobe himself donated his uniform after being so touched by his first visit. With a massive 85,000 square feet of exhibition space dedicated to the triumphs and struggles of black Americans, you will likely be similarly moved.

2. For admirers of the arts: Dakar, Senegal

Photo: Vladimir Zhoga/Shutterstock

In 1966, in combination with UNESCO, then president of the newly independent Republic of Senegal, Leopold Senghor, launched a project so massive and unprecedented that it was only ever repeated twice. Dubbed the World Festival of Black Arts, it was the very first international expo of arts in history to be created by and directed at black people. Himself a poet, Senghor was always committed to an independent Senegal maintaining a strong tradition in the arts. From that cultural legacy, a modern, cosmopolitan Dakar is flush with artists and their admirers.

2020 will see the return of the Dak’art Biennale, a contemporary African art fair first held in 1990. Conceived initially to oscillate between celebrating the arts and literature, it has, for the past several years, held the seat as the preeminent aggregator of fine art in west Africa. This being the 30th anniversary of the original event, organizers are ready to bring you the most involved program yet. Flanking the expected international exhibition, you’ll also find shows from visiting guest curators, talks led by notables in the art and science communities, and an entire network of affiliated presentations and events collectively called The Off. If you come for the whole month span of the program, from May to June 28, you’ll have enough time to scout and visit some of The Off events that will be scattered throughout the nation.

While in Dakar, art lovers will appreciate a visit to the showroom of Selly Raby Kane, a fashion designer who reconciles the vestiges of French colonialism in her unique designs that rely heavily — and beautifully — upon appliqué techniques. Combining the Parisian with the Senegalese, her artful pieces will be sure to warrant a “where did you get that?” should you return home with one.

Plus, heading to Senegal means you’ll be able to check one of Matador Network’s top 25 places to go in 2020 off your list.

3. For dance enthusiasts: Salvador da Bahia, Brazil

Photo: R.M. Nunes/Shutterstock

Like many nations, Brazil has also fallen prey to a resurgence of white nationalism under the auspices of their newly elected president, Jair Bolsonaro, a vocal supporter of far-right politics. But in Bahia, the blackest state in Brazil and arguably the center of the Black Consciousness Movement, a new brand of radical blackness is emerging with traditional Afro-Brazillian dance holding steady as a performative symbol of united defiance. With 80 percent of Bahia identifying as either black or mixed-race, they have managed to retain their African traditions despite hundreds of years of indoctrination and legislation that aimed to wipe this culture out.

In 2020, the black-alternative music festival AfroPunk makes its Brazilian debut. With previous annual iterations in Brooklyn, Atlanta, Paris, and Johannesburg, this festival will act as a rallying cry to diasporans worldwide to come to experience the most African city in the Americas. Occurring at the Salvador Convention Center on the 28th and 29th of November, this comes at the tail end of Black Consciousness Month. Visitors to Bahia during November are rewarded with a myriad of events and installations aimed at celebrating Brazilian black history with a decided trend toward their radical legacy.

Keep in mind that Soteropolitanos (residents of Salvador) have been dancing all their lives. You may want to enroll in a dance class if you’re going to hold your own among them. You can take an Afro-Brazilian dance class at Funceb in Pelourinho, the Historic Center of Salvador. While a fluent Portuguese speaker will have no problem arranging their own course, this might be best left to a concierge to book it for you in advance if you don’t have a command of the language.

4. For connoisseurs of culture: Paris, France

Photo: Svitlana Sokolova/Shutterstock

While many might conjure images of mid-century American expat artists when envisioning black people in Paris, African communities there are, in reality, much more diverse. As France was a major player in African colonialism, blackness in France goes back hundreds of years.

In a speech delivered in Ouagadougou in November of 2017, French President, Emmanuel Macron announced his plan to host the ambitious and comprehensive Season of African Cultures in France, or Africa 2020 for short. Though affiliated functions will occur all over the nation, its epicenter is definitely Paris, already home to a considerable population of its own resident Francophone-African communities. Paris, and the rest of France, will begin to welcome the diaspora on June 4 when it kicks off the season with the 2020 Africa-France Summit for Sustainable Cities and Regions. After over six months of events, installations, and exhibitions, the Season will finally conclude in December, so you have lots of options when making travel plans.

While you’re in Paris, consider attending one of Kevi Donat’s Le Paris Noir tours. In his programs, Kevi aims to answer the question: “How can a city so connected for centuries to a vast African and Carribean empire own and take responsibility for its part of negro-ness?” There are two tours to choose from: exploring the rise of global black culture in the “Pioneers of the Left Bank” and a survey of contemporary diversity in “Paris in Pigalle and ‘Little Africa’.” You’re going to want to leave time for both.

5. For fashionistas: Johannesburg, South Africa

Photo: Rich T Photo/Shutterstock

When American musician Gil Scott-Heron famously posed the question, “Tell me brother, have you heard from Johannesburg?” in the eponymous track from his 1976 Album, “From South Africa to South Carolina,” he may have literally wanted to know. At the time, black South Africans were still forced to try and survive under the untenable system of apartheid; black Joburgers specifically were mostly corralled in the township of Soweto. Because the pro-apartheid white elite controlled the narrative of most news escaping the country, this left international supporters eager for information about the black revolution in South Africa.

It was this very isolation and lack of resources that still inform street style in Johannesburg today. Current trends combine the DIY aesthetic of apartheid-era Soweto with elements of American athleisure and an air of vintage Britishisms. If you’d like to try your hand, Oscar Ncube’s line Dry Bone Co. touts a mix of fashion staples made from repurposed textiles. While his graphic tees are a favorite, consider investing in one of his signature leather jackets crafted from vintage leather pants. “It’s always been about responsible fashion” Oscar notes in a recent interview, but astutely adds, “no waste fashion for [Africans] comes from… that we don’t have the means to waste.” Dry Bone Co. is conveniently located in Victoria Yards, a complex of warehouses turned into boutique and studio spaces. You’ll find lots of other artisans there, including Tshepo the Jeanmaker, where you’ll find impeccably tailored handmade denim basics.

If you want to show off your new threads, do as Joburgers do and head to a music festival. Fresh from her meteoric rise to international fame and historic BET award win for Best New International Artist, Sho Madjozi, a fashion icon herself, is slated to perform at the 2020 Joburg Day music festival on May 16. Just remember, the days are pretty short in Joburg in May, so be sure to save some daylight for a little phone-camera fashion shoot.

6. For tech-heads: Busan, South Korea

Photo: /Shutterstock

Catapulted into the black consciousness by the 2018 Marvel Studios film Black Panther, this South Korean “City of Tomorrow” has seen a years-long push to build infrastructure and implement technologies to propel Busan into a new era as the preeminent center of tech in East Asia under the Smart Cities Initiative.

Even a casual vacationer in Busan can reap these benefits. Before you head out on your Black Panther Night Tour, you can enjoy a trip to VR 360 Cafe for immersive virtual reality gaming, or just use the city’s free WiFi to post Busan’s impressive vistas to your stories.

For those involved in the tech industry, do not miss Bounce 2020, an international conference dedicated to tech startups hosted by Busan Metropolitan City, from November 2-6. Not only will you get a chance to network and attend panels, but you’ll also be able to get a general feel for what startup culture is like in South Korea. This could be good to know, because, with so much funding available for international tech entrepreneurs, you may want to consider relocating. In conjunction with the Busan Economic Promotion Agency and the municipal government, Busan Start-Up can offer those willing to relocate to Busan facility, incubation, and visa support, as well as a clear path to financing their new venture. Who knows? Maybe your 2020 vision can guide you to a new career.

7. For film buffs: Lagos, Nigeria

Photo: MOdAMO/Shutterstock

Just behind India’s Bollywood, The Nigerian Film Industry is the second largest in the world. Frequently referred to as Nollywood, this nickname, though affectionately granted, is most definitely an exonym and can sometimes stir images of colonialism in the minds of many. Regardless of what you call it, Nigeria’s film industry is booming. With box office revenue expected to increase by as much as 50 percent from 2019, 2020 is looking like the perfect year to visit one of the many film festivals hosted in Lagos.

One of the most prestigious, the Eko International Film Festival, will be celebrating its 10th edition this year on March 10-14. Both a platform for the established and newcomers in Lagos and beyond, this festival is a non-profit, funneling proceeds from the event to train young filmmakers in Nigeria. Rounding out the year is the fashionable and avant-garde Africa International Film Festival in November. Catering more to the well-heeled, dress codes to various events in the program range from “cocktail” to “black tie,” some of which are relegated by strict invitation. Though general screenings are free and open to the public, an all-access pass will grant you additional screenings. Members of the film or media industries may be able to register in advance for even more special privileges. This festival is, in their own words, “positioned to be the biggest annual appointment for African filmmakers in the region,” and they are more than well on their way thanks to thoughtful curation and aggressive marketing spearheaded by their founder, Ms. Chioma Ude.

By no means a comprehensive list, Lagos is home to many official and unofficial film festivals every year. Whether you’re most into features, short films, documentaries, or animation, with a little searching, you’re bound to find the right one for you. Just keep in mind that Nigeria can be more expensive than one might assume, and it can be tricky to navigate the visa process. If your 2020 goals are to visit one of these festivals, you may want to start planning right away.


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The post 7 perfect cities for black travelers in 2020 appeared first on Matador Network.

How to have romance on family trips

It may seem unusual to be thinking about romance in the context of family travel. Travel with kids often feels like the least romantic travel of all, a tectonic break from the carefree, sexy jaunts you enjoyed with your partner not so long ago. And while it’s true that lugging strollers, ordering chicken fingers, and cleaning up kid messes are about as seductive as a fanny pack, keeping a little spice in the relationship — even on your family trip — is not just important. It’s actually doable.

There’s never enough time, but you still have to make it.

One of the biggest challenges of parenthood is the lack of time. Parents are often stretched thin, trying to manage their own schedules and those of their busy kids, making space for self-care, and, for many, juggling work as well.

“So much is needed from us. You feel like you can’t afford the time,” says Krisitin Donato, a San Francisco Bay Area marriage and family therapist on the effort it sometimes takes to focus on your partner. Yet the self-described “relationship enthusiast” adds, “You can’t afford not to. The time you make is the sunshine in your relationship.”

And, of course, vacations are the perfect moment to make that time. If you find it hard to take that time in your daily schedule, a vacation could be the reminder you need that carving out that time is vital for your relationship, even if the kids are in tow.

Kids want to see happy parents.

Photo: Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

It’s not just okay to take some time to focus on your partner; it’s actually a good thing to do. You may feel like all your attention should be on your children — particularly if you’ve chosen a kid-centric vacation destination like the beach or an amusement park. There’s plenty of research showing that healthy relationships within a household are good for kids. So you’re doing your kids a favor by letting them sense that you and your partner care for each other.

Donato adds yet another aspect to the idea that happy parents are good for kids since she says that kids need to see that adulthood is something to look forward to. It’s one thing for them to know that their parents are in love. It’s another for them to look forward to being adults themselves. Studies have shown that stressed-out teens who see overworked, stressed-out parents feel like they don’t have much to look forward to.

“Always model to your kids that mom and dad need a moment together to enjoy each other as adults. It’s so important,” says Donato. “It’s imperative that you show your kids that it’s fine to have fun.”

Be intentional and plan it ahead of time.

Planning a family vacation is a big deal for most families, and it takes a lot of work to take that time off, notes Donato. Most families take only one big trip a year, or maybe some long weekends. That’s all the more reason to plan ahead to include some romance. “When you go on vacation, one of the things you can do is set the intention — before you go,” says Donato.

The planning could consider sleeping arrangements and ways that you might have some alone time together. Even if a separate hotel room is too expensive, perhaps you can choose a small one where you can go to the lobby bar after the kids go to sleep. The more important point is to decide together that romance will be part of your family travels, in whatever form it takes.

Romance can be as simple as holding hands.

Photo: Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

Including a bit of romance in your family vacation doesn’t need to mean hiring an expensive babysitter and playing hooky from parenting for a night. It can even happen in the throes of your day with the kids. If you’ve been navigating the lines and crowds and the Epcot Center and finally had a moment to sit down, you should just take the time to look in your partner’s eyes and show your appreciation. To note that you are there together and to appreciate your kids’ joy.

If you’re on a hiking vacation, slow down and let your child run ahead of you as you and your partner hold hands. If the kids are all seated at dinner, Donato says you could take the time to walk outside and look at the sunset — just you and your partner.

Seize the moment.

Considering that time is such a scarce resource for parents, it’s important to seize the moment. In the same way that you should intentionally plan to include some romance before you even leave home for your family getaway, you should purposefully have those romantic moments — even if you’d really rather just fall asleep.

“You’ve got to make time for physical affection,” says Donato. “Don’t wait to want to. Don’t wait to want to hug them. Don’t wait to want to pop a quickie — especially on vacation.”

Should you be at an all-inclusive resort, say, and you both realize that your children are at an activity downstairs and you have 20 minutes to yourself, use them. Those moments can lift your mood, says Donato: “Say to yourselves, we’re going to sneak in moments to pretend that we are who we were before we had kids together.”

Romance doesn’t need to mean sex.

Photo: IVASHstudio/Shutterstock

The reality is that you may actually not get to have sex with your loved one on your vacation with the kids. Perhaps you’re all staying in the same hotel room. But as we’ve noted here, romance is also about acknowledging and appreciating your partner. You can still snuggle, spoon, or stroke your partner’s hair once you have finally gotten the kids to sleep and climbed into bed yourselves. There is a world of difference between that and quick goodnight peck before you pass out from exhaustion. There are many ways to show your partner that you are also their lover — even without the actual act.

Get creative.

Although sex might not happen, sexy moments still can. Donato says she always brings tealights with her on her travels. On a vacation in Southern California with their three kids some years ago, Donato said the family all stayed in one big room at a cheap Disneyland hotel. But she had brought the candles with her, and after the kids were asleep she and her husband were able to sit out on the balcony on cheap plastic chairs. They opened a bottle of wine and enjoyed the SoCal evening together.

As we noted above, in some hotels you can sneak down to the lobby for a drink and a chat over a glass of wine. While sleep may be a temptation, take the time to have that moment together away from the kids.

Also, take selfies of the two of you. Of course, you should also take as many photos of your kids — and of yourselves with them — as possible. But take selfies of you two as well, so when you look back at the trip you can remember that it was a great family trip that the two of you enjoyed as a couple, as well.

Take a walk.

Photo: Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

Maybe you’re at a relative’s house for Easter, Thanksgiving, or another holiday. Romance might understandably be low on your list of priorities, but you can still take advantage of the relatives to spend some alone time. While the kids are playing a board game with grandma, the two of you could also take a walk around the block, admiring the foliage and holding hands. It’s just a moment away that belongs to the two of you — which only adds to the enjoyment of your family holiday for everyone.


More like this: Dr. Ruth on why you need to have more quickie vacations -- and quickie hotel sex

The post You should (and can) include some romance in your family vacation appeared first on Matador Network.

Improve relationship through travel

No offense to the romance resorts and packaged passion vacations, but relational researchers actually have the blueprint for building healthier couples. After four decades of research with over 3,000 couples, Dr. John Gottman married emotional concepts with hard data, predicting success for all couples with over 90 percent accuracy. So when he and his wife Julie published the essential date conversations that matter most, my marriage and family therapy field sat up and listened. But I say, why make it just a normal date when you can pack your bags and travel? If you are looking to strengthen your relationship, here are seven unique adventures that might just do the trick.

1. Trust me: The commitment adventure

Photo: everst/Shutterstock

Goal: Practice vulnerability. How do you show each other that you have jumped in with both feet? How do you show your partner what you adore and respect?

Our first life task is to learn who to trust. All of our relationships from birth add to this equation, making it either easier or harder to trust others. Of course, trust and commitment go hand in hand, and both are essential for a healthy relationship. This is your base, your foundation. Start here if you have any hesitations for the rest.

Commitment means we’re both emotionally and sexually faithful. It means not keeping an eye out for someone better that may come along, even in our most subconscious thoughts and fantasies. It involves filling that room for rent in our head with information and care for our one special person. We strive not to compare our person negatively to other options. We communicate to each other that we know each other, we care about each other, and we hold each other irreplaceable.

The adventure: Give yourselves at least two days. Each day, one of you will be in charge; you’ll plan the day with your partner in mind, showing off what you know and appreciate about them. Maybe it’s a favorite meal or an activity they always wanted to try. Or it could be recreating a memory of theirs or yours as a couple. Now is the time to show them just how much space they have in your head. It may seem like an easy day when it’s your partner’s planning, but this is when you practice trust and letting go of control. No escape hatches or taking over. Trust and commit.

Picking the place is essential. Make sure you choose the destination together so you’re both comfortable. If you’d like a fast pace with lots of options or are feeling a bit nervous about what to do, choose a vibrant, multicultural city with a variety of options. If you want quiet and seclusion, consider a beach or mountain hideaway with both privacy and space to explore. Remember, the more secluded your environment, the more you will need to create your own details. But busy is not always best; something as simple as grabbing the favorite brand of coffee shows thought.

2. Off the clock… and grid: The retreat from work adventure

Photo: Stas Tolstnev/Shutterstock

Goal: Clock out from work and devices. What is your life like when the devices are off and your attention is on each other?

Work is one of the major commitments of our lives, fighting with family and relationships for time and attention. Workers, particularly Americans, are taking less time off than they did even a year or two ago; over half of Americans fail to use their paid time off, leaving 768 million days unused. And while most people say they getaway to relax and connect with loved ones, most people are still tied to phones, checking all the urgent texts, emails, and social media.

It can be hard to turn off work mode. Some work cultures don’t allow “unavailable,” with an unwritten threat of job loss. Other people find tremendous purpose and identity in their work, and stepping away from this is intimidating. But those ties to work (and the device) kill “unstructured moments” for couples, the moments Gottman describes that build closeness and connection. In fact, a 2014 Virginia Tech study showed that even the background presence of a phone in couples’ coffeeshop convos degrades the content. We’re “absent present” and pulling away into our isolated bubbles of somewhere else urgency.

The adventure: Really try to commit to leaving the work emails and texts behind. It’s easiest to do this off the grid; turn off your WiFi, flip on airplane mode, or better yet go to places without signal. The less developed or more rugged the place, the better. Mountains really do the trick. This can be a short adventure, even just an overnight if needed, as long as you are successful checking out of the rest and checking in to each other. See what happens when the emails and apps go off and what comes up in the present.

3. Wanna make out?: The intimacy boost adventure

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Goal: Get the pheromones pumping and the connection flowing. What turns each of you on? What type of sex and intimacy do you want?

The oversimplified stereotype is that couples fight about sex and money. While themes of conflict run deeper than this, the Gottmans’ studies show a satisfying sex life is vital for all genders to emotional connection. And there are two clear ways to make it easier to “just do it.”

First, couples who can talk about sex are more comfortable and satisfied with their sex lives. They can share what arouses them, what turns them off, what they want from sex, and what works. Depending on your culture, this may be awkward at first. But being able to talk like this with your person deepens both connection and the quality of sex.

Second, physical affection is not just for right-before foreplay. Kiss, cuddle, touch, hug. And when I say kiss, I mean really kiss. Passionate kisses that you’re not bestowing on anyone else. Don’t leave the PDA to your younger days, drive that chemistry up.

The adventure: Time to get touchy. Gottman gives a special shoutout to Spain and Italy as masters of public affection. If you can, head there, or another place where affection and your sexuality is simply an open part of the culture. Hold hands, hug each other, and make a point of kissing often. Plan a few seductive dates, and dress the part. Before you go on these dates, do an activity that increases body awareness like dance, yoga, or even a workout.

4. Let’s play: The adrenaline adventure

Photo: Mauricio Graiki/Shutterstock

Goal: Make time for fun. What pushes each of you out of your comfort zone? What gives you a sense of discovery and awe together?

We are wired for play. Fun, laughter, curiosity, pleasant anticipation — these things give us some lovely endorphin hits, our natural feel-good chemicals. Unlike some other systems in our brain, this one doesn’t rewire and shift across development. Even when we’re older we have the same capability to reap mind and health rewards from play. But we change anyway. Our leisure time goes from play to “chilling” in front of devices.

Play together, stay together. People can sync just like devices, sending out signals of soothing attachment and excitement to those who we connect with. Couples that play together share deeper intimacy, connection, and meaning, right down to their wiring. And the more exciting and novel the date is, the better the relationship satisfaction.

The adventure: Some couples will jump out of planes. Others will climb mountains. Still others will try a new country. And some will search their hometown and pick a site they’ve never heard of to explore. There is no wrong way; extreme isn’t necessary. Be spontaneous, lean into anxieties, and look for things that produce wonder and laughter.

If there are no obvious fun activities you enjoy together, or if you are at opposite ends of the adrenaline tolerance spectrum, all is not lost. The best way to find this middle ground is to think about the ways you each liked to play when you were young. Grab the adolescent mindset where you set out with people you like, often with no particular outcome in mind, follow an impulse, and just see what happens.

5. Deeper meaning: The spirituality adventure

Photo: Kryvenok Anastasiia/Shutterstock

Goal: Create rituals that honor the cherished things between you. What does each of you consider sacred? How do you connect with that as a couple?

For this adventure, spirituality is not necessarily about religion. You are searching for connection and meaning beyond yourself, a higher power, and what you hold with reverence.

Couples with strong spiritual connections rely on shared hope and purpose when difficult times arrive. Relational research highlights what Gottman calls the unsolvable problems: a whopping 69% of conflict issues can’t be resolved and are recurring. How we move past those, and how we repair, predicts healthy relationships. And having a sense of greater meaning eases this.

The adventure: It’s okay to start small. Do self-reflection and decide what you value. Explore the belief systems from your childhood. These may be in organized religion but it might also be more about approaches to life. Think about times and places in your life where you felt profound peace. Share all of this with each other.

Then pick a spot that might bring you a sense of reverence and awe. It might be a formal place of worship. Many people also experience this in nature or creative spaces like studios. Others experience this in meaningful memorials or spots in their life that hold powerful memories. Near or far, go to that spot together. If you have a shared one, run with it. If not, just go to each.

Once there, practice a ritual that has meaning to each of you. Prayer, listening to music, meditating, reading something, burying or burning symbolic objects: Humans around the world have created meaningful rituals for millennia. Find what works for you and share it. Make sure you take time off and away from your home to reflect, even if that’s staying in a hotel in your own town. If you’re feeling a little lost, pick a couple’s retreat that speaks to you both and let the professionals guide your exploration.

6. Better together: The shared-purpose adventure

Photo: Syda Productions/Shutterstock

Goal: Identify what defines the two of you as a team. What does your team offer that’s unique? How might you practice your shared purpose and give back?

At a certain point in our lives, most of us get to battle the life stage of “generativity versus stagnation.” Put simply, we need to feel that we are giving something positive to the world that will last beyond ourselves. For many couples, children fulfill a sense of this. But there is still “couple” beyond “parents.” Spirituality can connect us to a sense of a higher power beyond us; volunteering gives us a chance to act on our awareness of life past our own.

While each of us find our own identity and purpose, having a shared culture and meaning in a relationship is key. An old marriage and family therapy adage comes from Aristotle: “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” We are stronger and better as a unit than if you added each of us up separately. Your relationship satisfaction multiplies when it feels like you are working together for something greater.

The adventure: After you talk about what gives you each a sense of creating and nurturing something greater than yourselves, put it into action. Step outside of your current bubble of giving. Many people get a sense of connection in their family or community; if this is you, go far away from home. Try something out of your norm. Legitimate NGOs around the world are looking for skilled volunteers to support programs in healthcare, environmental sustainability, human rights, and education. If you’re service newbies and are unsure about a longer commitment, find something in your region. Do make sure you get away for at least a weekend. You want to fully engage in this project together to get the full benefit of shared creation.

7. You and me and us: The family balance adventure

Photo: Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

Goal: Practice nurturing your relationship while balancing time with family. In what ways can you prioritize your relationship while being there for the others you care about?

A cruel fact in relational satisfaction is that children cause a sharp drop in it. It doesn’t last forever; those that push through and maintain their bond see satisfaction rise again as children get older. Many parents get lost in parenting, devoting all energy to the task and neglecting their relationship. It’s a tough road balancing children’s needs and relationship time but shared parenting, ongoing sexual intimacy and physical affection, and untouchable couple time make it smoother.

Of course, family isn’t solely defined by parents and children. It doesn’t even have to be defined by blood and marriage. Family and kin are the people in our inner circles, the people who have doors into our lives. They’re important to us, and we often forget how to shut the doors to be just us occasionally.

The adventure: You’re taking your people with you on this one. Kids, parents, siblings, friends who are family, whoever the people are that make up your inner circle and add to your lives but possibly distract you from each other. Resorts, ranches, and camps work well for this one, a centralized place with opportunities to break out. Get your own room, no bunking with kids or buds. Just remember the point of this is to practice carving out time for couplehood intimacy (and yes, this means sex but not just sex.) Try to do separate activities or dinner dates occasionally if you can. Practice drawing boundaries in the moment that prioritize you as a couple. Say no, or not now. And make sure you practice affection in front of others.

It can be hard to change habits in our regular routines. Now you have a new environment for new experiences. But instead of trying a cooking class or horseback riding, you’re also trying something new for your relationships. This is a practice run, in a new setting without ruts, of maintaining a strong foundation in the middle of other meaningful relationships.


More like this: The most romantic European destinations to visit if you both love solitude

The post 7 unique adventures to strengthen your relationship appeared first on Matador Network.

weekly environmental wins

Sustainability projects and community efforts are underway around the world, and some are actually making big progress. That’s what this column is all about — the good news, the wins, the stuff that brings a tear to your eye and keeps that inner flame burning. For this week’s inaugural column, we look at outdoor brands. We’ve dubbed it the “Outdoor Retailer” edition, following the bi-annual outdoors gear trade show that just took place in Denver. Many brands, and the parent company of the show itself, presented exciting sustainability initiatives.

1. Skateboarders planting trees

Shoe brand Etnies launched its “Buy a shoe, plant a tree” initiative back in 2011 and just surpassed 2,000,000 trees planted. This is an enormous feat for capturing carbon emissions. For a writer who grew up admiring the pro skateboarders that wore Etnies shoes, it’s also a nice piece of evidence — to go along with the sport’s 2020 Olympic debut — that a subculture once thought of as a public nuisance has grown up without sacrificing its DIY ethos.

2. Zero-waste snowshoeing

Snowshoeing is a low-impact sport — put on the snowshoes, move across the snow, take them off. But what happens when a pair of snowshoes has done its time and needs to be replaced? Crescent Moon Snowshoes is relaunching its recyclable foam snowshoes this fall with an even bigger focus on sustainability. They will be fully biodegradable, made of cornstarch, potato starch, and food waste. The brand says they biodegrade in just one year underground, meaning that the photos you take on your snowshoe trips will (hopefully) last longer than your discarded snowshoes.

3. Taking the gas out of ski wax

Finally, someone on this side of the planet decided that we don’t need to be rubbing gasoline onto the bottom of our skis or snowboards to go fast. North America’s first plant-based ski wax, mountainFLOW eco wax, funded its Kickstarter and is now available. To boot, the brand took home an Outdoor Retailer innovation award for its efforts. There’s even a rub-on option for those of you still tentative about using an iron. We all know how badly those burns can hurt.

4. Clothing for clean living

Nearly every company has a “sustainability” tab on its website these days, but how many are actually taking big steps to be as clean and ethical as possible? Outerknown, a clothing brand founded by pro-surfer Kelly Slater, talks a big game but also walks it. It’s turning fishing nets and nylon waste into clothes, and channeling Patagonia’s founder Yvon Chouinard by guaranteeing its jeans for life.

Outerknown also walks the talk on packaging. Often, “sustainably produced clothes” still show up at your door cocooned in plastic and accompanied by a bunch of promotional junk that’s destined for landfill. I ordered two shirts from Outerknown’s website to put their talk to the test, and it checked out. The shirts came in a recyclable paper envelope, were not wrapped in plastic, and I pulled out nothing but two t-shirts and a tiny receipt — also recyclable.

5. Bringing the industry together

We close this first edition of the round-up with a bold call to action for the entire outdoor community. At the Outdoor Retailer show, the Outdoor Industry Initiative unveiled its new campaign, the Climate Action Corps. It’s similar to what the non-profit group Climate Neutral has been doing to certify brands — ranging from outdoor gear producers to media companies — that offset 100 percent of their carbon emissions. Brands use Climate Neutral’s certification for bragging rights and to inspire others to follow suit.

The Climate Action Corps aims to bring brands on board to measure and reduce carbon emissions on an ongoing basis, with a focus on both quick wins and long-term solutions. The group released its initial field guide, with a follow-up promised for June. The focus is on helping brands build an “aspirational GHG reduction target” (GHG stands for greenhouse gas) and a plan that is built around their specific company needs to make it work.

Here’s to those stepping up to make it happen. We’ll see you next week.


More like this: How to keep your resolution to exercise more outdoors

The post Welcome to The Climate Win: The most positive sustainability news every week appeared first on Matador Network.

Best scuba diving sites near Tokyo

This summer, literally the entire world will be heading to Tokyo. If you’re among the hundreds of thousands of people planning to hit the summer Olympics during July and August, chances are that at some point you’re going to want a peaceful escape from the perpetual crowds. Sure, Japan is full of tranquil onsen spas, and there’s plenty of opportunities for forest bathing, but nowhere really provides peace, silence, and isolation like the undersea world. We talked to the experts at PADI — the largest SCUBA certification organization in the world — and they hipped us to seven spots within a day of Tokyo with some of the most unheralded dive sites on Earth.

1. Hayakawa

Photo: buttchi 3 Sha Life/Shutterstock

The closest — and easiest — dive site to Tokyo is Hayakawa, a fairly easy shore dive that’s accessible for anyone who wants to learn SCUBA on their trip. Its train station is a couple of stops before Atami and the Izu Peninsula, leaving you about a 10-minute walk to the shore (you can rent tanks here too, so you don’t need to worry about lugging your gear on the train). Once in the water, you’ll find a nice, sandy bottom and plenty of sealife. Bring your camera along and snap selfies with stingrays, octopi, frogfish, and batfish if you can catch them.

2. Atami

Photo: SenSeHi/Shutterstock

Your best bet for wreck diving near Tokyo is at the beginning of the Izu Peninsula in Atami. The hot spring town also boasts the only wreck off Honshu island, colloquially called Chinsen — which translates to “wreck.” That not-so-creative name actually describes the Asahi Maru, a 370-foot freighter that sank during a typhoon in the ‘80s, splitting in half, and dragging two tugboats down with it. It now sits at 80 to 100 feet of depth, and is covered in hard and soft coral.

The dive itself isn’t exceptionally hard, if you’re used to some depth and moderate currents. Advanced divers shouldn’t have a problem, and if you want to swim aboard, it offers plenty of openings. What it doesn’t have much of, however, are swim throughs, so if you’re cool to just appreciate it from the outside, you’re not missing much. You’ll also find plenty of marine life feeding off the corals, including moray eels, nudibranchs, and spider crabs.

3. Izu Oceanic Park

Photo: Sean Pavone/Shutterstock

It’s amazing that one can feel like they’re smack in the middle of the Caribbean a mere 40 minutes by train from Tokyo. The shinkansen, or bullet train, will take you from Tokyo to Atami on the Izu Peninsula, a lush volcanic region that looks a little like St. Lucia or Dominica. The peninsula’s eastern shore is home to the Izu Oceanic Park, where dive shops, swimming pools, and soft Caribbean music provide the jumping off point to some of the best diving in the country.

Once in the water you’ll find plenty of soft coral and volcanic boulders, with sea fans, dragon moray eels, stingrays, and brightly colored fish abounding. The dives are easy, and many can be done right off the beach, so no advanced certification is needed if you want to get a taste. Once you’re on the surface, you can also enjoy the park’s hot tubs to warm back up, or try some of the barbecue served on site.

4. Shiretoko Peninsula, Hokkaido

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While it’s not exactly close to Tokyo, if you’re looking to get out of the city, into nature, and under the water, this peninsula on the far northeastern corner of Hokkaido offers a cool, lush escape. In the winter, the area is best known for its ice diving, and while you’re best advised to take a dry suit course before trying it, the cold water marine life is like nothing you’ve seen on a tropical vacation. The underwater critter highlight are sea angels — or cliones — transparent shellfish with small wings and a bluish tint.

If you’d rather be a little warmer during your trip, most of the peninsula is a UNESCO World Heritage site, and you can easily spend a few days exploring its wonders. In the northern region you can take a short hike to Furepe Falls, which drop from a brilliant green hillside straight into the ocean. You can also kayak past the massive rock faces along the coast, or take the hour walk around the Five Lakes spotting bears and other wildlife. If you’ve rented a car, head to the town of Kiyosato and behold the bright blue waters of Kaminoko Pond.

5. Ishigaki Island, Okinawa

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Imagine rolling up to a college campus with a truckload of free pizzas, and then tossing them out for people to devour. That’s more or less what happens at Manta Scramble, a dive site just off Kabira Bay on this island 186 miles northeast of Taiwan. Plankton swim here in abundance, so manta rays flock here to feed, resulting in one of the best manta ray dives on the planet. The best part is the whole show goes on at about 30 feet of depth, meaning even beginning divers can be part of the action.

It’s not all about the rays here, though. You can dive over a venerable sea of table, brain, and star coral at Mash I and Mash II, where sea snakes and rays poke their heads out on occasion. Or head to the Osaki Hanagoi reef and see more colorful fish than anywhere else on the island, as well as a gentle, sloping coral reef. The island is about a 3.5-hour flight from Tokyo, with five flights a day running currently.

6. Yonaguni Monument, Okinawa

Photo: Yong Hoon Choi/Shutterstock

Yes, trekking Inca ruins in Peru is cool, but if you want to see a brain-stumping wonder of the world, head about 15 feet below the surface near Yonaguni Island and you’ll find what looks like an underwater pyramid. Its origins are completely unknown — could be unloaded cargo or the long-lost home of Aquaman. Whatever it is, it has attracted divers for decades, and is one of the most mysterious dive sites in the world.

In addition to unexplained underwater ruins you’ll also find sea turtles, moray eels, and butterfly fish. And if you happen to go between November and June (aka NOT during the Olympics, but, hey, you can always go back) you’ll be smack in the middle of the migration pattern for hammerhead sharks. The bad news is this great mystery of the deep is about a 4.5-hour ferry ride from Ishigaki Island, or an hour flight from Naha Airport on Okinawa. But if you’re going to Japan more for the scuba diving and less for the spring board, it’s absolutely worth the trip.

7. Chichijima, Ogasawara Islands

Photo: Norimoto/Shutterstock

If you’re willing to spend an entire day of your life sitting on a ferry, you will be handsomely rewarded with one of the most stunning islands few people have ever heard about. Most of the Ogasawara Islands are a protected national park, a big part of why they’ve earned the nickname “Galapagos of the Orient.” On land you’ll find brilliant green mountains, turquoise waters, and beaches you’ll have to yourself. The largest is Kominato, though the snorkeling along Miyanohama Beach will give you unparalleled visibility. But for the ultimate remote beach experience, take a 70-minute hike through the jungle to Hatsuneura Beach, where you’ll likely have a tropical cove all to yourself.

Oh, right, the diving. While the fish here are bright and colorful the best things to dive are the numerous sunken warships off the coast. The most popular is the Hindko-maru, a cargo ship that sits right off Sakaiura Beach. You can also check out the Yayol Maru, which sits at a pretty-reasonable 75 feet. That said, the currents here can be pretty strong, so it’s best visited by advanced divers.


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The post Japan’s best dive sites to escape Olympic mania appeared first on Matador Network.

Antarctica’s hottest temperature

It’s not exactly new information that the world’s coldest climates are heating up at an alarming pace, but when Antarctica starts logging record temperatures, it’s certainly cause for concern. Indeed, it was just 64.94 degrees in Antarctica, its hottest temperature on record, beating the previous record of 63.5 degrees set in March 2015.

The reading was taken at Esperanza on the northern tip of Antarctica’s peninsula.

#Antártida | Nuevo récord de temperaturas