Matador Network's Blog, page 2154

Fit filmmaking gear in one backpack

Gearing up for travel filmmaking is quite the endeavor and can lead to ridiculously heavy and cumbersome luggage. Luckily, the Vaga brothers are here to share their secrets on what camera gear to bring along when making travel videos.


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The fight to save Peace River Valley

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I LOVE HONEYBEES. They really know how to dance.

While on production in British Columbia with photographer Garth Lenz, I met Guy Armitage and Mary Bereton of Hudson’s Hope Honey. Guy also loves bees and he has searched for the best nooks and crannies in Hudson’s Hope for his hives to live. They are picky, and he is dedicated to their happiness. Happy bees make the best honey. Unfortunately much of this prime bee real estate will be underwater if the proposed Site C dam is built. Guy, Mary, and their bees are among the many who will be affected by the proposed dam.

Site C would flood 83 km of the beautiful Peace River Valley, displacing all who call it home.

There are often differing opinions around energy development. What is unique about Peace Valley is that you’d be hard pressed to find someone in the valley who supports the proposed Site C dam. I couldn’t tell an unbiased story on this issue if I wanted to. The business community is against it, because the economics are not sound. The $8.8 billion project would be funded through taxing BC citizens. No one is talking about the need for more hydro power; BC has hydro power already. Site C would flood 78 First Nations heritage sites, in violation of the First Nations treaty rights. Some of the best class agricultural soil in BC is found in the Peace River Valley and is of course worthless underwater. This valley is also used by wildlife as key portion of their migration routes.

Everyone living in the valley has something at stake. I asked Xavier Beam about the proposed Site C dam. He was standing in his backyard on the banks of the Peace River, holding a fishing pole and shading his eyes to watch his younger brothers paddling in a tiny canoe. He responded, “Well, they are going to build a highway right through our house and then flood it…I just have this huge problem with that.”

I caught a screening of DamNation right before I set off on this project, and was astonished by the extent to which dams are no longer considered an effective way of creating energy. Dams are obsolete. With thousands of unsafe and deteriorating dams to address, building new ones is a step in the wrong direction.

There is a lot of buzz surrounding dams right now, and decision makers are listening. There is simply not a good argument for the Site C dam and the BC government knows it. The solution is simple — don’t build the Site C dam. Everyone wins, and Guys’ bees will be happy.

More information in the links below:

“Building the dam is the equivalent of turning gold into lead.” — Dan Potts, the former executive director of the Associate of Major Power Customers of BC
“I think the cost of hydro-electric dam construction is so astronomical that no one will ever do it again and we’re going to have this huge white elephant. Potentially it’s going to drive our industry out of business.” — Craig Thomson, Energy and Environment Supervisor at Canfor Taylor Pulp Mill
“The alluvial soils to be flooded to produce overpriced power for the Site C dam are capable of producing sufficient fresh vegetables to provide the nutritional needs of a million people. Forever.” — Wendy Holm, Professional Agrologist
“Obsolete dams impose a high cost on river communities and ecosystems, our economy and tribal cultures. We have found better ways to do the work of dams.” — DamNation

This US town banned cell phones

When did you use a corded phone for the last time?

In Green Banks, West Virginia, not only do the inhabitants use corded phones every day, but they also have no access to wifi, cell phones, and are banned from using microwaves.

The explanation for this ban is simple: the town is a “national radio quiet zone” because it is home to a number of sophisticated telescopes that could be dammaged by wireless transmitters’ interference. The cutting-edge Green Banks observatory plays a very important role in studying remnants of the big bang, stars being formed, new planets, etc.

If this looks like your idea of hell, well, think again. The people of Green Banks have learnt to appreciate their unplugged lifestyle and the benefits that come with it: human connections.

While the telescopes are helping scientists to explain the origins of life, the good people of Green Banks are just enjoying it fully. It’s a win-win situation.

Feature image: goog-god-guy

12 signs you learned to drink in NYC

Photo: Zachary Robert Repko

1. Your drinking game of choice was Kings.

Casual drinking usually meant cramming into the 5’x7’ shoebox of a bedroom in whoever had the biggest apartment, or whoever’s parents weren’t around. Space for beer pong or flip cup was basically non-existent, so smaller, easier games — like Kings, Spin the Bottle, or Never Have I Ever, usually sufficed.

2. Drinking anywhere outside of New York is a huge pain in the ass.

We groan and gripe in places like South Carolina, where the liquor stores are completely closed on Sundays, or London, when the pubs do a last call at 10:50pm. These little eccentricities make zero sense to us, especially because anywhere outside of New York alcohol is considerably cheaper. We’re spoiled with bars that close at 4am (or don’t close at all), which stock unique liquors and craft beers, so our expectations are just super high once we leave the metro area.

3. You collected body stamps.

Everyone always knew where you had been the night before based on the red ink stamp or black permanent marker X on the top of your hand. A blue smiley face signified you were at a dive bar somewhere on Avenue A. A neon yellow wristband showed you were dancing at a gay bar around Chelsea. Eventually you found places like Pacha where stamps were doled out to anyone who looked hot, young, and stupid enough to spend money to be surrounded by other hot, young, stupid people who didn’t mind the amateur DJ of the week.

4. Your bodega salesman had your back.

Amir jokingly wagged his finger at you when you put a case of Natty Light on the counter, but as one of his best customers, he always let it slide. Selling alcohol to underage minors is nothing new in New York City. Is it completely illegal? Hells yeah. Dangerous? Probably. Something to be proud of? I’m not sure. But it’s hard to raise a fuss when almost 75% of the borough bodegas participate in this practice. We considered it a contribution to the astronomically-priced rent encroaching upon anything north of 80th Street.

5. You RSVP’d to every Bar Mitzvah, Quinceañera, and Sweet 16.

These parties were full-blown catered affairs at places like Villa Russo, or Giando on the Water, resulting in pitchers of soda for the kiddies and an open bar for the adults. If you couldn’t get an obliging drunk auntie to pass around some Jack and Cokes, you had an emergency flask on hand to make your own. It made the dry chicken fricassee taste better, and loosened you up for doing the Electric Slide.

6. You had a fake ID at age 14.

Kids from around the area come to NYC specifically to purchase false identification. You knew which sketchy “10-cent Copies” centers made the best scannable cards, and as long as you were with a few other teenagers, being led to a secret door at the back of the store was a rite of passage. Four IDs or more, and you got a discount.

7. You made it a mission to score free drinks.

$12 cab fares, $15 cover charges, and $8 cocktails adds up. You worked your whiles as much as you could to get free drinks from friends or strangers. Sure it was slutty, but it saved you precious cash that went towards buying MAC cosmetics, new heels from a no-name shop on 7th avenue, and clubwear from Strawberry.

8. House parties were like, next-level.

Unless you happened to make friends with a trust-fund Dalton kid, movie-style drinking parties were almost exclusively held away from home. But every so often someone would rent a beach house for a week and invite all of the neighborhood families to come along. Then shit would get real. Those few times when you made it out to a party in Flushing, Marine Park, or a cousin’s place on Long Island, where someone had an actual backyard bigger than five-people’s worth, seemed like a dream.

9. You tried drugs before everyone else.

When the thrill of underage drinking ran out at approximately age 16, you experimented with drugs. Most of it was innocent — a few joints on the fire escape at 2am, or uppers prescribed to you by the family shrink — but scoring angel dust, ecstasy, crack, and other ridiculous chemical substances was never difficult. Someone’s mom always had cocaine “to make it through the day,” and if anyone ever asked, you could tell them exactly where they could buy heroin, and for how much. Some of your friends became drug addicts, but most of the time it was an, “I’ll try anything once” situation that was overrated anyway.

10. The night always ended with drunk food.

A $1 slice of pizza, disco fries, or pancakes at the diner, falafel from a guy who shaved meat for a living, a ginormous pastrami sandwich from Katz’s Deli, a hot dog that snapped when you bit it from Gray’s Papaya, or — if you were really drunk — something off of the Dollar Menu at McDonalds, was a must when the booze got to be too much for you to handle. Sitting in Washington Square Park at 2am, you didn’t care about how terrible the styrofoam container holding your chicken and rice with white sauce was for the environment; you were just fucking hungry.

11. Pre-gaming was the game.

Because alcohol is so expensive in the city, the easiest thing was to hunker down at someone’s apartment and make uneven mixes of your favorite cocktails, or fill water bottles with straight-up vodka and wander the streets looking for celebrity parties to crash. Even if you did end up at a bar after midnight or something, you usually split drinks with your friends before complaining about being “tired” aka too poor to buy another drink.

12. There was always someone around to buy booze for you.

Finding someone older to purchase your liquor was never really an issue. There was always Enrico, the pothead down the hall, or Dejah, your best friend’s older sister who just graduated from City College. Rich kids had their nannies, maids, or the doorman. You always had a “go-to” booze buyer in your corner of the city.

How adventurous are you? [QUIZ]

Featured photo by Alan

Why Istanbul is the best place to teach ESL

Photo: Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade

AN AMERICAN FRIEND I had taught with in Taiwan beckoned me to Istanbul with tales of local men serenading Western women, luring them into love spells with baklava. Her descriptions of lunch by the seaside and bustling spice markets charmed me all the way to the travel agency.

“It’s my New York, but better,” she had said.

I got my suitcase and tea glass ready.

Upon arriving, a crowd of fake blondes congregated at the airport entry gates with the sort of urgency that says: “This is a great place.” Counting bright headscarf after bright headscarf, my first impression of Istanbul was part-Europe, part-Asia, and part hyperactive kid on the beach.

Now that I have been living and teaching in Istanbul for a few months, there’s still enough radiation to keep me feeling like a holiday girl, even teaching forty plus hours a week.

Considerations for teaching

Money

When contemplating a job here, it is important to remember that you are still the same old barking English teacher that you are anywhere else in Asia, but you will probably get paid decent money and have enough eager students to make it worthwhile.

Local Vibe

Be prepared to entertain your students as much as you teach them, and anticipate to be showered with home-cooked food from friendly students who appreciate the effort you put into your classes. Most will be willing to share their language and culture.

Culture

Photo: Barbaros Kayan

Should you tire of the workaholic schedule that English schools will likely impose, there is always the hammam (Turkish bath) to indulge in, where a burly masseuse or masseur, will scrub you like Hercules.

More like this: What NOT to do in Istanbul

Cuisine

Culinary delights abound, including fish still squirming fresh on the market table, sold by boisterous men in rubber boots. Rice is most often replaced with a range of other, more inspiring carbohydrates, like flower-shaped herb bread, and cherry-filled baklava.

The mighty lamb is prevalent, sliced with grilled peppers and tomatoes, and served together with yogurt, cilantro, and pita bread.

Job Placement

For those seeking ESL teaching work in Istanbul, numerous jobs abound, and can be found simply by walking into the language schools themselves, or by applying with a resume, cover letter, photo, and scanned copy of qualifications and passport over the Internet.

While I have never heard of an English school here that doesn’t need teachers (which means you will probably be working some serious overtime) private language schools mostly hire people with a Canadian, British, Australian, or American passport, a TESOL certificate (or similar qualification) and/or a degree in any subject, from a recognized university.

First-time teachers are usually welcome, as are people of various ages. My current work staff includes everyone from ages twenty to fifty-five, and they are generally sane people, from various professional backgrounds.

Accomodation

Some schools provide accommodation, but most don’t. However, there are throngs of English teachers actively searching for roommates, and most language schools will offer some help in finding an affordable and comfortable place to live.

Prices

Costs for accommodation, food, and other necessities of life are comparable to Canada, the US, and some parts of Europe. As Turkey is in close proximity to several Middle-Eastern and European countries, you may also want to travel.

Depending on whether or not you choose to go by train, plane, bus, or car, prices can vary from the extraordinarily cheap to the staggeringly expensive.

More like this: 10 things to know about Turkey

Activities

Photo: Miguel Virkkunen Carvalho

Istanbul has no shortage of things to do. In the Greek Quarter, old women haggle over striped socks at the market and fruit vendors greet shoppers with heaping triangles of olives and figs. Speeding taxis with bashed-in fronts steer and skid amongst the crowds of pedestrians spilling over the curbs in the downtown districts.

Ladies selling flowers by the boat docks push stems of daffodils under your nose, commanding, in their hats and headscarves, a mere dollar a bundle.

One of my best moments so far in Istanbul has been taking pictures of stray cats in a historic graveyard at 7am, while men and women beat carpets, men prayed, and children chased pigeons. People were doing their everyday activities, but it was nonetheless impressive.

Nightlife

Photo: Matthias Rhomberg

Numerous nightclubs in almost every area of the city provide a comfortable places for expats and locals alike to get their groove on. While going out is expensive, one will feel at the end of the evening, as if their money has been well spent.

In Istanbul, atmosphere is everything- clubs and pubs are usually “dressed to the nines” with plush velour, seaside seating, water pipes, hip music, and cheerful chatter in a multitude of languages.

For me, Istanbul is a spot to rest my rucksack while I’m turning the tricks of the English-teaching trade, but my respect for the place and its people now goes beyond my initial pinwheel of tourist images. It is now my temporary home, and one that I see myself returning to.

For aspiring and seasoned travelers, there is no other city that quite captures the glamor of a martini glass, the pizzazz of a belly dancer, and the wild imagination of two continents.

As for whether it’s “better than New York,” I’m hardly to judge, but surely, anyone who comes here to teach will not be disappointed.

This article was originally published on April 17th, 2008.

How to piss off a female bartender

Photo: Dmitry Boyarin

There are thousands of ways to piss off a female, let alone a female bartender. We encounter sexism when we tell people what we do for a living and sexual harassment when we are just trying to do our jobs. Unfortunately, most of these people who piss us off just don’t get it and genuinely don’t know any better. We should all think about the way we treat bartenders, women, and other human beings in general.

The thing is, I would never quit being a bartender because I love love love my job. I enjoy serving people, listening to their problems and making sure they are happy and having a good time. Most of my customers are awesome and I wouldn’t let a few people who don’t know how to act ruin that.

Touch us inappropriately

We are bartenders, not escorts. Unfortunately it seems as though some individuals confuse the two. This is assault, and you will be forcefully evicted out the door.

Tell us to smile

Do people walk around your office telling you to smile while you’re sitting at your desk?

Snap or whistle

The same goes for waving your money, shouting, or literally anything else that you wouldn’t do out in the real world.

Say “Nice tits,” or any other derogatory comment

This behaviour is completely unacceptable. Sexual harassment makes me want to punch people in the face. The high road, however, is far more effective and worth the effort.

Assume we don’t have any structure in our lives

There’s a misconception that we are always all drunk, promiscuous, living paycheck-to-paycheck and this is simply not true.

Assume we are uneducated

Tending bar is a hard, dirty, working-class job and so many people seem to think that any bimbo can do it. Wrong! Not every bartender necessarily has a college education but a whole lot do. Sure, it’s often in something like Philosophy or History, but believe me, the person serving your drinks is more likely than not, extremely intelligent.

Body shaming

Apparently wearing a tank top, even though it can be hot as balls, is an automatic invitation for people to comment on our bodies. It’s not all men though — women are guilty of this, too.

9 signs it's time to leave Indiana

Photo: Tyler Rayburn

1. Wal-Mart is the hottest place to be on a Friday night.

When the movie theater and the mall are at least 40 miles away, the bright lights of Wal-Mart start looking pretty interesting. Folks gather in their pickup trucks, pulling out the coolers, lawn chairs, and occasional confederate flag to grace the night in drunken revelry. It ain’t fancy, but there’s enough room for everyone’s car and restocking the beer is as easy as crossing the parking lot.

2. You’ve loosened your belt loop.

It’s likely you’ve gained a little weight during your tenure; Indiana is one of America’s most-obese states. Fast-food joints outrank the number of churches, which is saying something for the bible belt. We take unhealthy to a new level: every year at the Indiana State Fair, people consume over 37,000 milkshakes and 10,500 deep-fried Snickers. Our eating habits, paired with an environment that encourages inactivity, is a recipe for all sorts of health problems. If you default to ordering fried, not grilled, you’re becoming one of us.

3. Light beer is the right beer.

Since most of our meals come from a drive-thru, light beer is the easiest way to cut down on calories (and cost). We can afford to throw back a few more when we’re hanging out with friends.

4. Your ego is proportional to the size of your pickup truck.

Pickup trucks are meant for trailers, firewood, and various other oversized items. However, repeated exposure to country music, extra-large parking spaces, and social pressure could have you buying into the extended-cab hype, even if you’ve never towed anything. Some say it’s worth getting only 15-miles per gallon as long as your truck looks bigger than your neighbors — and has a hemi.

5. There are two seasons: NASCAR and football.

In true Midwestern fashion, Indiana weekends are spent indoors, watching ESPN with a Keystone Light on a coaster within arm’s reach. From October through January, this is Colt’s Country. Since the Indianapolis Colts last won the Superbowl in 2007, we haven’t given up hope that this year could be it. Some of us in silence and some in great fits of testosterone, we beg the Lord for just one more yard or field goal so that the Colts will have another chance at winning the season. However, if our team is having a bad day, Indiana fans are happy to switch alliances to whoever has a chance to crush the Denver Broncos, more specifically hoping for an imminent injury to Peyton Manning.

By the time the Superbowl is over, we’re ready to move on to our next sport that is simple enough for anyone to follow: watching cars drive in circles, otherwise known as NASCAR. Most outsiders know Indiana for hosting the Indy 500, but few people in the state care about Indy car racing. Indiana folks remain loyal to the true American sport of stock-car racing. This gives reason to tailgate through the spring, summer, and fall until the season ends in November — although most of us have already switched back to football by then.

6. You’ve forgotten how to use public transportation.

Cars, trucks, and the occasional tractor speckle the roads, but you almost never see a bus. Indiana’s cities aren’t densely populated enough or designed in a way to make public transit a viable option for most people. Unfortunately, the only kind of subway that exists for us is the sandwich shop.

7. You have camouflage everything.

If your camo clothing makes an appearance outside of a hunting trip, you might be giving yourself away.

8. If God isn’t on every corner, it’s not a neighborhood you want to be in.

From small towns to big cities, God is everywhere. There’s a church on every block and as long as you subscribe to Christianity, your spiritual needs will be met. Churches are the epicenter of community and social activities, always doing their best to keep the flock out of trouble. Although the cross may deter Buddhists, atheists, and Pastafarians, consider it a sign that it’s safe to walk around at night.

9. You’re a nicer person.

Waiters, salespeople, even drivers on the road are more considerate and pleasant to deal with in Indiana. We’re a state full of courteous people who go out of their way to hold open doors and make you feel a little more welcome. You can’t help but reciprocate their amiable attitude. It’s a gift to bring with you to your next destination.

14 reasons to hit Vegas in winter

1. Wandering amid sculpted stone in the Valley of Fire

Photo: cjarv2010

As the name suggests, this scenic state park — Nevada’s oldest and largest — can get rather warm during the summer, and by warm we mean temperatures up to 120 degrees. Best to take in its stunning sandstone formations, ancient rock art, and winding trails during the cool season. Pack a picnic lunch for a day trip, or load up the car and snag one of 72 campsites for an overnight among the park’s undulating rocks and canyons. At less than an hour’s drive northeast of downtown Las Vegas, you’ll have no trouble getting there.

2. Warming up at Gold Strike Hot Springs

Every hike needs a rewarding destination, and it doesn’t get much better than this canyon scramble on the way to a relaxing soak in one of the state’s finest natural hot springs. Take note: The 6.5-mile round-trip route is no casual stroll. Small sections require basic climbing and rappelling, with ropes attached to ease the journey. Stop along the way to bathe in various pools — try to find the secret Cave of Wonders — or hike to the bottom and take a break on the bank of the Colorado River. The trailhead is along Gold Strike Canyon Road, just off US 93.

3. Flying the friendly skies

Photo: Skydive Las Vegas

Sure, you can jump out of a plane any time of year, but winter’s bright, clear skies make it prime time for killer views on the way down. Skydive Las Vegas takes rookies up for tandem jumps, each pair free-falling for up to a minute at well over 100mph before pulling their parachute and coasting back to solid ground. Resist the urge to put it all on black while the adrenaline is still pumping.

4. Unplugging at Mt. Charleston Cabins

If you think winter days are best spent surrounded by snowy pines in a woodsy lodge, grab your Pendleton blanket and head for Mt. Charleston Cabins. Located at 7,717 feet in the thick of Humboldt-Toiyabe National Forest and just 45 minutes from downtown Las Vegas, this rustic retreat is a serious escape, albeit with amenities like jetted tubs, fireplaces, and the nearby lodge where you can grab a hot toddy and an elk burger while gazing out over the snow-dusted trees. And since cell reception is spotty at best (and there’s no cable, wifi, or land lines in the cabins), you won’t feel pressured to live-tweet the weekend. Rates start from $118.

5. Scaling the cliffs at Red Rock Canyon

Photo courtesy of TravelNevada

Glowing in terracotta tones on the western edge of the Vegas Valley, Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area is home to some of the best rock climbing in the US, as well as stunning geological formations, hiking trails, petroglyphs, and even a few fossilized dinosaur tracks. Winter brings cool days and plenty of sun — a great combo for climbers looking to take on the park’s sandstone cliffs with sport climbs or multi-pitch ascents. Check out routes with names like Epinephrine and Sour Mash, or go straight for the Original — a 14-pitch, 1,000ft route up Juniper Canyon’s Rainbow Wall.

6. Exploring the Mojave on horseback

Steer through canyon narrows cut by water and wind and see Red Rock’s bluffs painted by the sinking sun on Cowboy Trail Rides’ sunset excursion ($169), a leisurely exploration of the Mojave’s wonders. Keep an eye out for burros and coyotes along the trail, then head back to camp for a steak dinner followed by s’mores and a campfire song or two. Like everything else in the desert surrounding Las Vegas, this trip is most comfortably taken during winter.

7. Getting behind the wheel of a dune buggy

Photo: SunBuggy

Your 4WD SUV has nothing on these rough and rugged desert warriors that are perfectly suited for tackling sandy dunes and other off-road gnarliness. Just outside the city, SunBuggy runs relaxed, scenic drives ($149+), as well as the Mini Baja Chase ($199+), an edge-of-your-seat mock race where you’ll be blasting over challenging terrain in the driver’s seat.

8. Tearing down Bootleg Canyon’s mountain bike trails

This Boulder City canyon just outside of Vegas has 36 miles of single track, ranging from beginner-friendly cross-country to white-knuckle downhill (how about the Elevator Shaft’s 22% grade?), all cutting through a seriously scenic southern Nevada landscape. All Mountain Cyclery runs shuttles to the top for $5 a trip, as well as trail tours ($179 including rental) and bike rentals, so you can tackle an epic ride without lugging your gear from home.

9. Soaring over the desert by zipline

Photo courtesy of TravelNevada

Take in the southern Nevada terrain from a bird’s-eye perspective along four ziplines ($159+) that zoom over a mile and a half of canyon landscape just south of Las Vegas. The tour at Flightlinez Bootleg Canyon kicks off with a brief hike to the top of Red Mountain, where you’ll harness up for a burly 1,852ft first run that can reach speeds of up to 60mph. The progressive lines stretch up to about half a mile, giving you a chance to absorb the view, if not to catch your breath.

Pro tip: Keep an eye out for bighorn sheep on the morning tour, or go for the full-moon ride for a totally different experience.

10. Scoping out a ghost town

Rich with metals and minerals, southern Nevada mines brought big money and big crowds to the region in the late 1800s and early 1900s. But when the mines gave out, the miners moved on, leaving behind homes, roads, and communities to slowly decay in the baking heat. These days, those eerie, abandoned towns are tourist attractions that make for great places to catch a glimpse of the past. Check out Goldfield, Nelson (population 37 as of 2010 census), or Rhyolite for some classic examples, or visit St. Thomas, a town that was submerged by Lake Mead in the 1930s and has reemerged in recent years as the water level has dropped.

11. Strolling through Springs Preserve

Photo courtesy of TravelNevada

Las Vegas was named for spring-fed meadows in the middle of the Mojave Desert, and this outdoor attraction in the middle of the city was built around the town’s original water source. Today’s Springs Preserve ($18.95) is home to sprawling gardens featuring cacti and other native plants, and family-friendly walking and biking trails that are best enjoyed when the valley isn’t blistering in the sun. You’ll also find the Nevada State Museum here, with some stellar natural history exhibits.

12. Cycling the River Mountains Loop Trail

This 34-mile loop around the River Mountains is a favorite among locals, who hit the paved trail for casual rides as well as serious training. Take it in sections — along the shore of Lake Mead, up the Three Sisters hills, or through Boulder City where you can stop for a pint at Boulder Dam Brewing Co. — or pull on some bike shorts and ride the whole damn thing. Just be sure to pack plenty of water…it’s a desert out there, winter or not. Find trailheads in Boulder City, Henderson, and Lake Mead NRA.

13. Not frying in Death Valley

Photo: 白士 李

“Hottest, driest, lowest,” brags the website for this national park straddling the border of Nevada and California. Highs average 116 degrees in July, putting something of a damper on exploring outside the air-conditioned confines of your vehicle. In contrast, winter is hiking season, with polished canyons, rolling sand dunes, and snowy peaks to traverse. Even the Badwater salt flats, nearly 200 miles of barren landscape that sits 282 feet below sea level, can be downright pleasant. The gateway communities of Pahrump and Beatty are 1 hour and 1:45 from Vegas, respectively.

14. Shredding the slopes at Las Vegas Ski & Snowboard Resort

No one pictures alpine sports when they think Vegas, but less than an hour from downtown the Las Vegas Ski & Snowboard Resort has three lifts and 30 trails with options for everyone from noob to pro (bring your avalanche kit and expect to hike for the latter). Located in the Spring Mountains district of Humboldt-Toiyabe National Forest, the slopes at LVSSR receive an average 212 inches of snow annually. And with Vegas a short drive away, you can spend the day working your turns and then be back at your hotel in time for happy hour — or a well-earned soak in the hot tub.

This post is proudly produced in partnership with our friends at TravelNevada.

US states in 1 smart ass sentence

Photo: Kevin Bond

Alabama: We may be 49th in everything, but thank God for Mississippi.

Alaska: No, you can’t see Russia from here.

Arizona: Our main exports are heat stroke and rabid xenophobia.

Arkansas: Literrasy ain’t everything.

California: Where American dreamers settle for doing porn.

Colorado: Laughing at your altitude sickness since 1876.

Connecticut: We’re kinda close to the places you really want to be, like Boston and NYC.

Delaware: The first state, and that’s about it.

Florida: A wonderful place to enjoy some pain pills and die of old age. Or vice versa.

Georgia: Without Atlanta, we’re Alabama.

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death to mainland scum, but leave your money).

Idaho: More than just potatoes. Ok, maybe not, but the potatoes are real good.

Illinois: Where a politician’s term in office and prison sentence are roughly the same.

Indiana: Dan Quayle’s favorite country!

Iowa: Counting down the days until an election makes us relevant again.

Kansas: Come for the corn, stay for the tornadoes.

Kentucky: 5 million people, 15 last names.

Louisiana: We’re also thankful for Mississippi.

Maine: Stephen King really likes it here!

Maryland: If you can dream it, we can tax it, hon.

Massachusetts: We hope you enjoy both of our seasons, Winter and Construction.

Michigan: Where lake effect snow will bury you alive 10 ft. from your front door.

Minnesota: 10,000 lakes and 10,000,000,000 mosquitoes.

Mississippi: We make slightly less shitty states look GOOD.

Missouri: We love company.

Montana: The birthplace of the letter bomb.

Nebraska: Where the majority of the population has been intimate with a corn cob.

Nevada: Helping degenerates part with their money since 1864.

New Hampshire: A great place to stop for gas on your way to Canada.

New Jersey: Hope you like traffic, asshole.

New Mexico: Breaking Bad was the best thing that ever happened to us.

New York: If you have it, we’ll tax it, and if it’s fun, we’ll regulate it until it’s no longer fun.

North Carolina: Despite being North, we’re still as redneck as South Carolina.

North Dakota: All the weather or Canada without any of the health care.

Ohio: We like to swing.

Oklahoma: One tornado away from being Mississippi.

Oregon: Still a 50/50 chance you’ll die of dysentery.

Pennsylvania: Our Amish can beat up Pennsylvania’s Amish.

Rhode Island: If we were any less significant, we’d be Delaware.

South Carolina: We secretly pledge allegiance to the Confederate flag.

South Dakota: Closer than North Dakota.

Tennessee: Leading the nation in fat dudes who die while taking a dump.

Texas: Heaven if you are a high school quarterback. Hell if you are gay, black, an immigrant or a woman.

Utah: A great place to raise a couple of families.

Vermont: 75% hippies, 24.999% rednecks and .001% who came for the foliage.

Virginia: Southern enough to suck for northerners and northern enough to suck for southerners.

Washington: Where more things are legal and everything is damp.

West Virginia: Our obesity problem can be explained in two words: pepperoni rolls.

Wisconsin: Way too cold to be sober.

Wyoming: Where men are men and sheep are scared.