Sinead MacDughlas's Blog, page 4

Prepping For The Surgery - Paging Doctor Author

It's nearly time. The anticipation built up, in my mind, is so strong it's beginning to give me headaches. Every morning I need  to forcibly restrain myself from opening that file.

With Learn to Love Me in the hands of the second round of beta readers, I'm so eager to get editing, my hands are shaking. The manuscript is the first thing I think about every morning, and the last thing on my mind when I finally fall asleep. Nearly everything else seems like an annoying distraction. "What? Feed the children? Clean the  house?  Do I really need to go to the washroom, right this moment?" I know that sounds extreme, but it's the truth.

The sad part is, it won't be time to begin edits for another week, at least.  The beta reports are coming in fast and furious, but I know I need to take the time away from the manuscript, to be able to look at it fresh when I start editing.

 I've worked myself up over the whole thing so much, I'm nearly as emotionally volatile as I was during my pregnancies, swinging between elation and despair with nauseating speed.

I purposely sought out beta readers who would be tough on my writing. I asked for brutal honesty. Still, when some of the reports came in, I couldn't resist the temptation to whine, and rebel. I felt like my four year old daughter at bedtime, stamping her little foot and insisting, "I don' wanna!"

It wasn't that the reports were unduly harsh, or the suggestions for improvement off base. Perhaps, it's simply an artist's instinct. We reflexively oppose alterations that might skew our original vision. 

Many of the suggested changes are necessary, if I want my work to be more than mediocre, and I do. I want to produce a novel that will entertain the reader, while being as error free as humanly possible. I don't want plot holes, shallow characters, predictable plotlines, or technical errors to jolt the reader out of the story. The ultimate goal is a story the reader gets sucked into, so they can't put the book down until they know how it ends. I want to publish a book I would buy... at full price... in hardcover. If I'm going to do that I must keep myself open to suggestions from the beta readers, especially those who have already earned my respect, as writers.

No matter how I tried to be professional and detached about the reports, I couldn't help that mental foot stomp, or the wild backlash of emotional response.  "What the hell am I doing?  I can't publish this book. It's tripe. It's worse than tripe! It's leftover tripe, left to grow mouldy, in the back of an abandoned refrigerator someone dropped at the dump, ten years ago!" (Like I said, 'extreme', lol.)

I contemplated quitting. I thought about scrapping the entire book. I even imagined printing it out, just so I could burn the pages before I expunged the files from my laptop, backup drive and flash drive. I had freakish mental images of chopping through the manuscript with an editing-machete, or throwing myself bodily on top of it to protect it from imaginary, critic-bomb-shrapnel. In short, I panicked.

The panic passed quickly. Logic and professionalism stepped in and took the reins, bringing me around to a gentle stop, though still figuratively foaming at the mouth. I saved the beta reports, reminding myself that these reports were exactly what I'd asked for, and exactly what I needed. Before going back to the manuscript, I'm going to memorize the reports, and read from the new perspective they've given me. Not all of the suggested alterations will be made, but I know I'll implement many of them, (with careful application of a literary scalpel - hold the machete).

I'm honoured by how many brilliant people agreed to do these reports for me, and I hope they all realize just how grateful I am.

So, Learn To Love Me is still in the preparation stages, and still destined for self-publication. I don't have a release date yet, but I'm getting very close to setting one. First I have to scrub up, grab that scalpel and start checking the "patient's" records. Wish me luck!

A Blank Page

Is there anything so beautiful, to a writer, as a blank, white page?  Is there anything so terrifying, except perhaps an empty page with a deadline looming?

Most of  the time a blank page is a vessel of infinite capacity, into which I can pour every human trait and emotion - every situation, problem and solution- stir it up and scoop out the basic structure of a story.  

The main character almost always comes to me first. Strengths and weaknesses, logic and emotions, habits and faults, must all be learned and revealed.  Of course, without conflicts there would be no story to tell.  There must be  something for the character to overcome or learn.  

Whether I am conscious of it or not, there must also be a message.  I've only recently learned the most  prevalent of mine.  It is: "You are not alone."

If there is one thing all people have in common, it's emotion.  Everyone has had a broken heart, a darkest day, a victory, and a brilliant flare of joy. Just as we've all experienced moments of love, passion and hope, we've also endured  anger, shame and loneliness.  My duty is to put together words in ways that emcompass emotions, and wrap them around the reader.  I need to show the reader that, though there may not always be a tidy happily-ever-after, there is always someone who understands.

Of course, I want to entertain as well.  The basic structure will be enhanced with secondary, and possibly tertiary characters. The setting needs to be more than a loosely painted backdrop. I want to prepare a visual buffet and serve tastes, scents, textures, and sounds.  The reader should be able to step into the room with the character and experience the story.

I won't always succeed, but as long as there are blank pages the potential is there.

Sometimes the blank page is a bottomless void into which I launch unanswered pleas for a muse, a spark, or a shred of inspiration.  The page taunts me with its emptiness. Thoughts will ricochet around my brain, the million little "trains of thought", (A subtle plug for The Unscheduled Stops? Perhaps, lol.), all running at top speed on non-stop, express trips to oblivion. Tonight was one of those nights.

I should have had this blog posted this morning. The holidays have spun my brain in a vortex and spit me out at an unmarked part of my internal calendar. To simplify, I forgot it was Friday.

So here I was, at ten o'clock at night, trying desperately to come up with something to write for my blog.  For an hour I stared at the blank page on the laptop and prayed for something brilliant to escape my brain.  All I could wring out of it was this. How did I do?

Is It Time For A Change?

Usually my blog is a bit of a friends-having-coffee ramble about what's going on in my writing life, what I'm planning and anything I'm excited about. 
Are you bored yet? 

The past two weeks HAVE been eventful.  The Unscheduled Stops anthology is up to 82 downloads, and is in the process of distribution to Deisel©, Apple©, Kobo©, Barnes and Noble©, Amazon© and Sony©.  I've done some debating over having it produced in print form through Createspace©. (By the way, the decision on  that has been put off until after the holiday season).
 
I've joined some new writing groups. In fact, I'm in so many writing groups  I'm hardly able to keep up.  I  think I'll soon have to bow out of some of them.
  
I'm working on beta reading a compelling fantasy-fiction novel for a fellow indie author, Ressa Empbra.  One of my writing groups is staging a challenge and, of course, I have the three blogs I contribute to.  

I've submitted a short story to a charity anthology and I have the  beginnings of what could be another novel in my Bits and Pieces folder.  Beta reports are beginning to come in for "Learn To Love Me", as well.  I'm looking forward to making the changes some of those reports have  prompted.  I really think the book  will be much better for those readers


I AM planning some things, though they're still in the "contemplation and research stage", so there really isn't much to tell. My next potential project is a supernatural, mythological-based posthumous story.  It's still uncertain what form the story will eventually take. A short story doesn't seem long enough and a novel might be too daunting.  I think I'll simply get the research and basic outline done and see how many words it takes to tell the story.

I've also been contemplating  giving an old fantasy-fiction novel one last chance at rescue from the purgatory of the box under my bed.   

I AM holding back a couple of announcements I'm rather excited about. Unfortunately, I'm not able to divulge those secrets just yet.  If you're following me on Google +©, Twitter© or FB©,000 though, you'll certainly be among the first to know when I can spill the news.  No, I haven't been picked up by a publisher or an agent.  It's not something I expect will happen, either; one of the downfalls of being a general-  fiction/poetry/prose/mystery writer.

My chances of attracting a publisher would likely be increased, significantly, if I would stick to a single genre, but I love to challenge  myself.   The gypsy in me  isn't willing to choose just one place to settle yet.

So that's my ramble for this blog.  Now I'm going to put you to a task.  I need to hear from each of you who've read my ramble.  Even a couple of words or a single sentence.  What I  want to know is this: what should I do with this blog? Would you like to see me continue with my odd little ramblings, or would you prefer to see the blog make a change? Shall I find a new theme/ purpose, a new hook to bring  in more followers?  Have you actually read to the end of the post?  Is  there anybody out there?  *insert cricket chirps here*

Is It Time For A Change?

Usually my blog is a bit of a friends-having-coffee ramble about what's going on in my writing life, what I'm planning and anything I'm excited about. 
Are you bored yet? 

The past two weeks HAVE been eventful.  The Unscheduled Stops anthology is up to 82 downloads, and is in the process of distribution to Deisel©, Apple©, Kobo©, Barnes and Noble©, Amazon© and Sony©.  I've done some debating over having it produced in print form through Createspace©. (By the way, the decision on  that has been put off until after the holiday season).
 
I've joined some new writing groups. In fact, I'm in so many writing groups  I'm hardly able to keep up.  I think I'll soon have to bow out of some of them.
  
I'm working on beta reading a compelling fantasy-fiction novel for a fellow indie author, Ressa Empbra.  One of my writing groups is staging a challenge and, of course, I have the three blogs I contribute to.  

I've submitted a short story to a charity anthology and I have the  beginnings of what could be another novel in my Bits and Pieces folder.  Beta reports are beginning to come in for "Learn To Love Me", as well.  I'm looking forward to making the changes some of those reports have  prompted.  I really think the book  will be much better for those readers.

 I AM planning some things, though they're still in the "contemplation and research" stage, so there really isn't much to tell. My next potential project is a supernatural, mythological-based posthumous story.  It's still uncertain what form the story will eventually take. A short story doesn't seem long enough and a novel might be too daunting.  I think I'll simply get the research and basic outline done, and see how many words it takes to tell the story.

I've also been contemplating  giving an old fantasy-fiction novel one last chance at rescue from the purgatory box under my bed.   

I AM holding back a couple of announcements I'm rather excited about. Unfortunately, I'm not able to divulge those secrets just yet.  If you're following me on Google +©, Twitter© or FB©, though, you'll certainly be among the first to know when I can spill the news.  No, I haven't been picked up by a publisher or an agent.  It's not something I expect will happen, either; one of the downfalls of being a general- fiction/poetry/prose/mystery writer.

My chances of attracting a publisher would likely be increased, significantly, if I would stick to a single genre, but I love to challenge  myself.   The gypsy in me  isn't willing to choose just one place to settle yet.

So that's my ramble for this blog.  Now I'm going to put you to a task.  I need to hear from each of you who've read this entry; even a couple of words or a single sentence.  What I  want to know is this: what should I do with this blog? Would you like to see me continue with my odd little babblings, or would you prefer to see the blog make a change? Shall I find a new theme/purpose, a new hook to bring  in more followers?  Have you actually read to the end of the post?  Is  there anybody out there?  *insert cricket chirps here*

Xarrok: Birth of an Empire Part 1

Please welcome my guest today, Catrina Taylor.  I had the pleasure of meeting Catrina on Twitter and the honour of beta-reading for her debut novel,  Xarrox: Birth of an Empire -  Book One.

Today I have the honour of participating in Catrina's Release Day Scavenger Hunt! 

So let's begin with an introduction to the book:
Title – Xarrok: Birth of an Empire Part 1
Author – Catrina Taylor
Genre – Primary: Science Fiction; Secondary: Romance

Kala,  a young Xonerian slave with the ability to communicate mind-to-mind.  Kala is a young girl when we begin reading the novel, hiding her psionic abilities from her masters and terrified of discovery.  I loved watching Kala grow and evolve in this book. From a frightened slave-girl to a confident, well-honed weapon of war, she still manages to retain her sense of naiveté and compassion.

Yatrell, the hardened warrior who learns that duty and honour are not everything, and letting someone into your mind can expose your hearts. (Yes, that was intentionally plural.)

These two main characters live at opposite ends of a war, but they will discover a common history, a common enemy and a common goal.

I found the premise of this novel intriguing, the details well thought out and the writing engaging. I'm eagerly waiting for Book Two.

Scavenger Hunt

Here's how to play:
Read the questions and the samples then go to The Writing Network and answer the 5 questions OR the 2 bonus questions accurately and win a free copy of Xarrok's  first novel, Birth of an Empire Book 1.  

At the end of the sample on each site will be a link to the next post and then to the home of the Scavenger  Hunt. The top 3 to answer correctly win a free copy of this incredible book. 
 
How many characters do we meet in this book?
Dozens, but you follow primarily a cast of 17. Most of them are psionic in nature and used to dealing with extensive bigotry because of it. 

Many of the characters are psionic. Can you define psionic for your readers?
Psionic is the ability to manipulate an outside force with your mind. This can only be generated by people who develop an additional lobe, known as the psionic lobe, by birth. It develops and matures over time. Some find it active early, others later but it's always active by adulthood. With the correct genetic manipulation a psionic lobe can be activated at or before birth. 

Which psionic types are represented in this universe? And can you explain what each of them do? 
Sure thing - Telepathy is the ability to manipulate a mind, either through simple projection of thought or the more trained and honed telepath can enter a mind and reorganize, erase or alter thoughts.

Telekinesis is the ability to manipulate physical matter. Most can lift things, themselves for short periods. The more trained and focused can break even the strongest metals. 

Pyrokinesis is the ability to generate fire with the biological body, or manipulate it outside of the body. Each pyrokinetic is able to do one or the other with very few being able to do  both. Those who can generate their own fire can manipulate what they generate, but can't stop a fire generated by other means around them. 
 
Electrokinesis is the ability to alter, manipulate and amplify electrical current from within the body. Highly trained electrokinetics can manipulate body functions, but most lean toward manipulating various computer and mechanical interfaces. 

Astroprojectors can alter a person's perception of the world around them. They can make objects appear to the mind's eye. The items are not solid, but they look real to the person watching it. Touching an image projected by one from this psionic discipline would be the same as interacting with a hologram, without the equipment.

Healers are the most unresearched ability. At this point the only explanation available is that the healer can manipulate the electrical impulses in a biological entity. Their intention is always to heal, improve or take away pain. The issue with this group, one that makes the difficult to study, is that the limitations of what they are able to do varies by individual. Some take away pain by duplicating it in their own bodies, and eliminating it in others. Some are able to heal even major wounds, while others can help alleviate minor afflictions like headaches. 
 
Seers - This discipline can see images from the future based on a given course of action. They are not forecasters, they are not charlatans and are aware that if choices change, their vision does as well. 

Psionic Sensors are people who can identify a specific psionic marker in an individual. While they have no other significant psionic ability by birth, they can train to develop another. Typically the few who seek to select the simplest to develop, telepathy. 
 
There are few other  abilities in this universe, but not others seen in book one.

Here is an excerpt
introduction of the Xenonian cast: (Chapter 10 of Birth of an Empire)

Acting Captain Palrion gestured to field Commander Maddux, "For the duration of this mission you will be introduced and treated as your field commissions, not the ones we left behind on our ships of the first Xenonian fleet. This is Commander Rouen Maddux. He's likely the best pilot in all of the Xenonian fleets combined and can teach hand to hand and close quarters combat. He will be flying the Enpassant as well as managing duties as my Second. Commander please stand up a moment so there is no question who you are." Maddux stood in his Commander's uniform proudly. He looked from face to face and back to Captain Palrion and nodded before he sat back down. Palrion continued, " Commander Maddux is a Tactile Telepath. On to my Psionic Chief Medical Officer, Commander Kala. She came to us as a former slave and therefore no house name. You will show her the same respect regardless of previous stature in life. Kala please stand up." Kala stood, her deep red hair falling to her shoulders and beyond and her warm green eyes greeting all she made contact with. She was among those not in uniform for this meeting. Once she was standing in full view, Palrion continued, "The Commander has studied more on psionic illnesses, injuries and related conditions than anyone else in this fleet. In the last six months she has forced herself to become the foremost psionic lobe expert. There are none who have focused and studied more than she has, however due to her otherwise lack of applicable experience she has a non psionic equal in the medical facility. Thus, for the duration of this mission, there are two Chief Medical Officers. For the chain of command concerns, Kala is my Third. She is a multifaceted psionic." Palrion nodded at Kala and she sat down.

"From there the rest of you are equal in the chain of command. Chief of Security is Commander Henessa Sar. She is a projective combat telepath and she's the most qualified weapons expert I've ever worked with. If she indicates a specific tool for the job, trust her, she knows exactly what she's talking about. She will oversee both Security and assist at tactical as needed. " Henessa stood up, her blond hair pulled back tight and her piercing blue eyes staring straight ahead. 

When she sat back down, Palrion turned his attention to now Commander Phelian Crex, "My primary communications and operations officer is Commander Crex. He is a projective combat telepath capable of forcing many to succumb in a matter of seconds. He is also the best qualified to work with and run the fleet and ship communications systems. He knows the new systems on the Enpassant better than most people know their own hands." Phelian stood and his soft brown eyes made eye contact with everyone, before sitting again. 

"We move onto Commander Merx Tol. He is the most interesting humanoid empathic manipulator I know, but not surprising he's best with machines. He's been provided information on the unique systems of the Enpassant for study, almost a month ago. He knows the traditional systems better than I believe he knows himself, as such he is the logical choice for Chief of Engineering. Keydra Tan please stand up." Merx, who stood while the captain was talking, sat down as a small framed woman stood. Her nearly midnight dark features were enhanced by her shimmering blue eyes and soft brown hair. "This is Lieutenant Commander Keydra Tan. She is our ship's nutritionist. You'll find her assignment is in the mess hall. When we begin strike team training tomorrow you will find her as our astro-projector. She may prefer our crew healthy, but do not doubt she can carry her weight in battle. Small frame or not, she's a formidable team member." 

As she sat down the dark and very tall man beside her stood, his broad shoulders squared and his gaze remained forward as Palrion continued, "This is Commander Zaren Rixx. As most of you know, he is our telekinetic addition. What most of you are unaware of is that he is also a botanist and will be managing much of our food supplies on the botany levels below." Next to him stood a petite frame of a woman, her salt and pepper hair and features betrayed her as older than most in the room, but her
soft brown eyes danced full of life. Zaren took his seat again, as she looked around the room she made eye contact with each person, before the Captain properly introduced her, "This is Commander Kei Salin. She is also an astro-projector and shuttle expert. She was part of the discussions around a psionic influenced custom designed shuttle. It is on board this vessel now and she will be training all of us in flying, fighting and utilizing it for our purposes." The room acknowledged her with genuine respect. 
 
Next Palrion's attention turned to a taller woman next to Commander Salin. Her soft brown hair and light features were only more accentuated by her nearly purple eyes, "This is Lieutenant Commander Cyrin Lan.  She is quite the problem solver and will be working directly for Commander Crex. She's got quite the shocking personality." The Lieutenant Commander looked at Captain Palrion and arched an eyebrow unimpressed by his reference to her electrokinetic ability. As she sat down another woman, nearly as tall as Cyrin, stood. She had her black hair with deep blue highlights pulled tightly behind her head, her hazel eyes pierced through the wall in front of her and she remained at attention while Palrion introduced her, "This is Sira Fal. She is our pryokinetic and the Lieutenant Commander that will report to Commander Tol in engineering. Selecting between the two was a very difficult decision. Trust her instincts with these systems, she knows what she's talking about." After the Lieutenant Commander sat again, "We are all acquainted, now onto the mission."

You can find the book through major retailers including the ones listed below.
Amazon USA
Amazon UK
Barnes and Noble  
Smashwords

Learn more about the universe around Xarrok at http://Xarrok.com  (visit the intelligence page for the  questions)

Your next stop for the scavenger hunt is right here:   http://libbyhellmann.com/wp

Feel free to visit with Catrina on twitter as
@TheLadyWrites

Dave's Got Me Covered - Cover Reveal

I'm an author!

I guess I can say that now, as I've finally published. No, not the novel. Though it is written in full, it'll require extensive editing before it's ready to be sent out into the great, wide world.

What I've published is a collection of short stories, poetry and prose titled The Unscheduled Stops. This anthology will be available for free download from November. 28th, (the official release date), until December 31st. It's a Christmas present to all of you who've followed and supported me on this quest for authorship.

Learn To Love Me is currently with the first round of Beta-readers. Once it's completed two rounds of beta, and the edits between, it still has to go through an editor and still more edits before I can begin formatting the manuscript for publication.

I'd originally hoped to have the novel ready for an early March release, but I think early summer is a far more realistic goal.

In the meantime, I hope you'll download and enjoy T.U.S. and continue to give me the gift of your support.

You can read the first review on the Advance Reader Copies on LISSETTE E. MANNING'S BLOG

Today I have something awesome to share with you. Dave J. Ford has graciously provided his services, once again, and designed a fabulous cover for The  Unscheduled Stops. I'd like to present it to you  now.

Click on the cover image to go to the larger version on its own website.
Visit Dave's   FANPAGE on Facebook to see the original, untitled, wraparound version of the artwork. It's gorgeous! Cover design by Dave J. Ford

Battling Muses

    So what do you do when you finally begin to see the end of your creation; the novel you've laughed and cried over, sweat blood for, loving crafted using every personal resource, the project your muse just wouldn't let you give up on; and then another muse pops up and starts a catfight in your head?

    I was so close to completing "Learn To Love Me".  Three chapters remain to be written in the mystery-lit. I've been working on, diligently, for all these months.  Suddenly I couldn't get the random "other" characters to sit still. They've popped up here and there; glorious muses for short stories and possible secondary and tertiary novels. I've dutifully jotted down point-form notes, making a separate document and file for each, and gone back to the novel.

    Only…they weren't content with that.  I'd be happily typing a scene for the novel, find myself thinking about those other stories, seemingly at random, and be brought to a dead stop. 

     "One project at a time!"  I told myself repeatedly.  Fighting the urge to work on the other pieces, I sweat and agonized over the next scene in the novel.  Using several well-worn techniques for fighting writer's block didn't work. Ranting and raging against the muse didn't work.  Threats and bribes didn't work.  Finally, I gave in.
    I wrote the one short story that wouldn't go away and tried to return to the novel.  No luck. I pulled up a few free-write pieces I'd done for some writer's blogs I follow, edited them, and tried to return to the novel. Nope.  I wrote a couple of new poems and tried again. Still the muse, (Emily), snubbed me. 
    In the end, I made an executive decision.  I set the novel aside and assembled a small collection of short stories and poems to give to my readers.  
     The upcoming "sampler", (more properly titled,"Anthology") will be available on Smashwords™. I hope to have it available before the end of 2011, in e-pub formats.  
     The launch date for "The Unscheduled Stops" will be announced the moment I have one and it will be a free download for the first two weeks of its publication.

    For those waiting for "Learn To Love Me"…Don't worry.  As I've been preparing "The Unscheduled Stops", Emily has relented, and I have every intention of returning to her story by the first of October. 
    I have 4 ½ weeks to meet my original, self-imposed deadline for the first draft. Wish me luck!

Have You Seen My Voice?

Has anyone ever asked you a question, and when you tried to answer it, you just ended up with more questions?  The other day on Facebook,  Randy Peyser,  author/ consultant from Author One Stop, posted the  following status: "Have you discovered your writer's voice?"  Simple question; it should precede a simple answer.  Nothing is ever simple for me and one day I'll admit it to myself. This was not the day for admissions. I thought carefully for a few minutes and decided some quick research was in order.

Wikipedia defines "Writer's Voice" as a: "literary term used to describe the individual writing style of an  author . Voice was generally considered to be a combination of a writer's use of syntax , diction , punctuation , character development , dialogue ,  etc., within a given body of text (or across several works). Voice can be thought of in terms of the uniqueness of a vocal voice machine. As a trumpet has a different voice than a tuba or a violin has a different voice than a cello, so the words of one author have a different sound than the words of another. One author may have a voice that is light and fast paced while another may have a dark voice."

A quick search of Google leads me to a blog by "The Adventurous Writer" Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen who opens her blog with "Ask five writers 'What is writer's voice?', and you'll get 15 different answers." Hmmmm…this was not encouraging.

A third source, "About.com (Fiction Writing)" says: "Definition: Voice has two meanings as it concerns creative writers: Voice is the author's style , the quality that makes his or her writing unique, and which conveys the author's attitude, personality, and character; or 
Voice is the characteristic speech and thought patterns of a first-person narrator; a persona. Because voice has so much to do with the reader's experience of a work of literature, it is one of the most important elements of a piece of writing."

None of this was getting me any closer to answering the original question: HAD I discovered MY writer's voice? Well, obviously not.  I had no idea….Oh No!  Did that mean my writing didn't HAVE a voice?  Doesn't every writer have a unique voice?  The questions came faster then.  Isn't our voice influenced as much by what we read as by what we experience? Is it really possible to have a unique voice, without falling into the trap of echoing our favourite writers? How do we avoid cliché and still have vivid descriptive that doesn't sound forced?  The last being something I've been accused of several times. 

See, this is where I get confused.  An Example: "I detested the way the scent of the place crept into my clothes and clung, with the tenacity of a dense ex-boyfriend, long after I'd left the office." When I wrote this sentence, two readers suggested I cut it. Two others thought it was near-genius. I'm still not sure, myself.  I came close to writing "like a burr", but two things stopped me.  First; the phrase didn't capture just how pervasive the scent was. Second; it sounded too cliché. If I hadn't used the more original description, wouldn't I be stifling my voice?

Then the frightening entities Grammar and Punctuation, my greatest obstacles, stuck their hairy, bulbous noses in. Where do we draw the line between "correct" writing and individuality?  If I over-edit, will I remove whatever voice I might have?

Would it be better if I planned for voice before I begin, or just write and hope it manifests itself somewhere along the way?  Do I want it to be subtle or obvious?  Is my voice a whisper, a shout, or a scream?  Once I find my voice, how am I to define it?

All these questions still seem a little pre-emptive, as I have yet to discover my voice.  To be brutally honest, I still don't have the answers. Have YOU seen my voice; and if you have, could you PLEASE explain it to me?

I've been a bad blogger...but I'm not sorry.

Originally posted July 22, 2011

    I've been a bad blogger.  When I started this blog, I had the notion I'd post a new blog at the end of each completed chapter.  Life, however, often has a way of slipping distractions past my meager defenses.  So, against all advice to the contrary, I've neglected my blog.

    I have always had an inexhaustible curiosity.  Facebook photo albums can suck me into a cycle of "click, browse, repeat"  that has me viewing pictures of a friend's-boyfriend's-mother's-cousin's new puppy, before I realize that I've clicked two hours away I could have used to do something far more productive.  Often, I assuage the guilt by reading various blogs with vitally important knowledge of writing and publishing.  
     By the end of a session of blog-reading,  I'm often overwhelmed with information and opinion, curled into near-foetal position and fighting the urge to go back to Chapter one and edit it "just one more time".
    This susceptibility to diversion can't be blamed on the internet, though for my particular addiction it could be considered the most insidious enabler.  I'm just as prone to wander off course when taking a walk in a park, or worse, roaming through a mall.

    I remember once, walking through a major department store with my ex-husband, I caught a glimpse of a shiny new perfume display.  At one time I  collected perfume bottles simply to display them for the beauty of the glasswork.  That one display led me to another, then a perusal of the selection, then a discussion with the clerk about various new scents. The woman at the counter sprayed a little of one scent on my wrist.  As I turned back to my partner I asked, "What do you think of this scent, Honey?"
    I found myself looking at the chest of a complete stranger who cheerfully replied, "I'm not your Honey, but you smell really good."
    I found my ex-husband wandering another department, chattering away at air, completely oblivious to the fact that I'd wandered off at all.

    Our family recently took a four day vacation, an annual event, at a rented cottage on a small lake in the Haliburton, Ontario area.  With very basic phone service and no internet connection, I was forced to disconnect myself from the global community.  Being on a lake with two toddlers assured my undivided attention be focused on their entertainment and safety, in a way our child-proofed home does not.  I read nothing. Not a word was written for those four days.  After returning home my mind lingered in an idyllic state.  The various social forums I patronize seemed overwhelming now.  How was I going to get my family back to routine, return to writing and catch up on my many internet obligations?
    "Wait a minute!" I thought to myself. "Are they really obligations? Do I really need to apologize to all my Twitter followers for not posting 'shout-outs', my few blog readers for the elapsed time between posts and my Facebook friends for not responding to their e-mails right away?"  Good marketing says "yes".
    A voice, remarkably like that of my no-nonsense Granny spoke up then.  It shouted, "Are you a marketer, or a writer?"
    Before the echoes had faded, my priorities snapped into place.  I AM A WRITER. I must write or wither.

    So…… I won't apologize, here, for the delay between blogs.  I won't scramble to make up for the things I've left undone, as they are only obligations because I have made them so.
    What I will do is take a moment to say;  "Thank-you, Dear Readers, for following my ramblings. Know that I am still committed to writing. Know, also, that I will be spending less time online until I've completed writing this book.  Please be patient with me.  I am honoured by the time each one of you takes to peek into my world."

What My Toddlers Taught Me About Writing

Originally posted May 27, 2011

    Last night, while I was bathing my 2 year old, I started thinking about the word "flow".
    I've seen many references to the "flow" of writing:  words flow, ideas flow, storylines flow.

    My son has a bath toy; a plastic octopus-shaped cup with three holes allowing the water to flow out when it's filled.  As I held the little cup in front of him, he was grasping at the streams, trying to catch the water.  At first, I was amused.  Watching my children discover and learn always brings me a mixed feeling of joy and pride, spiced with humour.
    I tried not to laugh as he stuck his little tongue out between his teeth to facilitate concentration.  Each time his hands passed through the falling water, he'd stop and look at them as if there was something wrong with them.  It struck me that he didn't become frustrated.  Each failure only made him more determined to succeed.

    My son taught me about persistence last night.

    I can't put a number to the times that I've sat down with my laptop, a million ideas swirling around in my brain. As they began to trickle out, I tried to capture them, only to find them slipping away.  Self-doubt slithered into my brain and told me something was wrong with me.  A successful writer captures those thoughts in words that flow.  Good writers don't spend twenty minutes agonizing over finding just the right phrasing for a sentence.  Their ideas aren't lost to minor distractions like a cat begging for dinner, or suddenly realizing they forgot to fold that last load of laundry sitting in the dryer.
    I know this isn't true, of course.  I've read enough blogs and interviews to learn; even the most brilliant authors had moments where the words simply would not connect.  The difference is determination.  
    Like my son, those authors went through their learning process.  There are no failures; only lessons.  Persistence is what gets a writer from concept to publication.  Writing is both a talent and a skill to be honed.
 
   My son has natural dexterity.  What he needed was practice.  He tried different hand positions, until he finally cupped one beneath the streams and captured a handful of water.  Proud and excited, he cheered and clapped, squirting the water into his face. When he looked for the water in his hands, he was disappointed not to find it there.
   
   My son taught me about priorities last night.

    Taking a moment to celebrate small accomplishments is wonderful.  Losing track of the task at hand, while you're patting yourself on the back, is not.

    He continued to capture small handfuls of water, throwing one or two scoops at me, a few on the floor and allowing some of it to trickle through his fingers.   I saw the moment inspiration struck, just before he reached up with his chubby little hands, cupped them under the octopus to cover the holes and lifted it out of my grasp.  He had finally captured the
water.

   My son taught me about creative thinking last night.

   When one way isn't working, a different approach may be in order.  Sometimes I have to step away from the writing and come back with a different perspective.

   I sat watching; awestruck by the innocent wisdom of my little boy.  Once he had his full cup of water………he threw it at me, soaking me to the waist.  I managed to fend off the next two full cups before my 3 year old daughter wandered into the bathroom, grabbed a second bath-toy cup, filled it with water…………and dumped it over my head.

   My daughter taught me about the value of entertainment last night.

   Sometimes you just have to stop taking it all so seriously and have fun with it.