Meredith R. Stoddard's Blog, page 3
June 16, 2020
How to spot a Sweetheart Scammer on Instagram
It’s been a while since I’ve done a post about social media. Although more and more, I feel like everyone needs a bit of social media training. Previously, I’ve talked about Impostor accounts on Facebook, how authors can make the most of Twitter. But I haven’t really done anything on Instagram, and there’s something about Instagram that’s been bugging me lately.
I love Instagram. There is something soothing about scrolling through everyone’s pictures and seeing their work spaces, gardens, bookshelves and pics of where people are finding peace in times like these. It’s also a great place for writers and authors to connect with readers. I share photos of places that inspire me, or quotes from my books. I’ve met a lot of authors this way. And almost all of us have noticed the explosion of scammers that seems to be happening on the platform right now.
The main culprits on Instagram are the Sweetheart or Romance Scammers. These are particularly insidious. They prey on people who are lonely and maybe less internet savvy. According to the Federal Trade Commission, people reported losing up to $201 million to these scams last year. You can find them on many social media platforms and dating sites.
These scams can run for weeks or even months. They involve the scammer starting a conversation the turns into an online romance. They will butter people up, get them hooked and then start asking for money in the form of wire transfers or prepaid gift cards. They give all kinds of excuses for why they need the money. It’s not for them, but their mother needs surgery. They would love to come and visit you, but can’t afford the travel expense, or need a visa. Once the money is obtained the scammer may sting their mark along in the hopes of getting more money out of them or, they may just ghost them. Loneliness is a powerful thing and can lead even intelligent people down the path to ruin. In one extreme example Dr. Paul Frampton fell for a sweetheart scammer who got him to fly to Bolivia and become an unwitting drug mule. He wound up serving two years in an Argentine prison for his trouble.
The FTC has some good information on how to recognize a scam once the conversation has started such as the excuses that scammers give for needing money. Of course, you should NEVER wire money to someone you just met online, or even someone you have been talking to online for months. If you haven’t met them in person, don’t send them money.
But you don’t have to wait until they start asking for money to recognize these scammers. When scammers are creating fake accounts to start these scams they follow a pattern. And that’s what this post is about. How to spot the Sweetheart Scammers on Instagram and what you can do about them.
Almost every woman I know who has an Instagram account has had this happen. You get a new follower and he’s kinda cute. I don’t follow back indiscriminately. His profile pic is of a smiling healthy-looking guy, maybe he’s in scrubs or a uniform. His user name is something like JohnSmith038 or Chris.Jones5429. Sounds totally normal right? Unfortunately for the John Smith’s and Chris Jones’s of the world, it’s very likely someone choosing a normal Anglo-European sounding name to make you think they’re totally a regular American dude looking for love.
Those usernames shouldn’t be deal breakers. There are legitimate people with those names who aren’t trying to catfish you. So, to give them the benefit of the doubt, I click through to look at their profile. Here is where the clues start to become obvious.
They will have fewer than 15 pics on their profile. And the pics they have are all smiling selfies sometimes in uniform or scrubs, or a white lab coat. There are often a pic or two of them doing something outdoorsy like hiking or running. And a lot of them have sports cars in them because I guess, dudes or they’re trying to appear that they aren’t struggling for money. Then there might be a pic or two to show their softer side, a teddy bear holding flowers (not making that up) or a dinner at a fine dining restaurant. What you WON’T see in their pics are kids, or lady friends even a sister, because then they wouldn’t look lonely.
Note: Most of these pics are stolen from the social media profiles of actual people and repurposed by the scammers.
Another possibility is that the account is private so you can’t see their pics. This can actually be alluring. It makes it seem like this person isn’t into social media games, but they’re into you enough to follow someone they don’t even know. Aren’t you special? Or they’re just too lazy to go find pics to copy from someone else’s profile.
And then there are celebrity accounts. I got followed the other day by leonardodicaprio1915 whose bio says he’s an “Actor and Environmentalist”. Those are the exact words of the actual Leonardo DiCaprio’s Instagram bio. The big difference is the blue check mark. That shows that the account has been verified to be that actual person, or their publicist or assistant or whoever does the posting for them. I promise you Leonardo DiCaprio is NOT following me on Instagram. I’ll wager he’s not following the 257 other people that leonardodicaprio1915 is following either.
Then there are the bold ones that slide into your DM’s. You’ll get a notification that you’ve got a message request from someone you don’t follow. You wonder what they want. You can ignore the message request, but if you’re like me and an author, or creator who uses social media to talk to your audience, you’ll probably at least look at it. You go to the message they’ve sent you and it just says, “Hi”, or “Hello”, or if your scammer is really bold “Hi, pretty lady.” These are a blazing red flag. Who the hell just sends a one word message to a person they don’t know? Not even a creepy pick up line. To start the conversation. That is not normal behavior for an American trying to strike up a conversation with a person they don’t know.
So, what do we do about these scammers. If all they do is follow you and don’t try to contact you, you could just ignore them. But then they’ll just move on to try their game on some other unsuspecting person. You can block them, but again that just saves you and they can move on to someone else. So, we should report them, right?
The trouble there is that as far as anyone can see, they haven’t really done anything wrong. If you walk through Instagram’s reporting wizard for reporting a bad account, there are only two options: Pretending to be someone else or Spam. Sure, these scammers are pretending to be someone else, but you can only really prove that with the ones that pretend to be celebrities. If they’re just pretending to be a soldier or a doctor or just a lonely guy looking for his soulmate and you don’t know the person they’re impersonating, how can you report them for that? There’s no, ‘Probably a Sweetheart Scammer’ option. It’s that gray area that allows these scammers to run rampant on social media platforms with very little to stop them, and it’s probably why there is such an explosion of these accounts lately on Instagram. At least half of my recent follows are scam accounts, and many of the women that I follow have commented on roughly the same thing.
I’m not a programmer and can’t give a prescription for what it will take to protect legitimate users from these scammers, but a reporting mechanism for these accounts would be a good start. In the meantime, educate yourself with the signs so you can recognize these scammers before they get a chance to hook you.
June 9, 2020
Office Hours - Brand Management in these times
What’s News
Good news – My son continues to bake cookies
Sourdough success – Shoutout to Amy Duska at Little Spoon Farm for her Beginner Sourdough Bread recipe.
Summer Read-along for the Once & Future Series – Inside the Kettle Holler Literary Society
Weekly Topic – Brand ManagementDisclaimer - Not claiming to be perfect or an expert on brand management especially in crisis times. Stating my ideas so that you can understand my take and maybe learn something of value to use in your own life, because how we manage ourselves on social media becomes our brand
Speak out or stay quiet.
Do I stick to writing fiction or speak out
Artists are citizens too and we’re citizens with a platform.
Why are so many artists on the left of the political spectrum? Empathy – To create art that resonates you must have empathy. And in the case of writing you’re relying on the reader’s empathy too. Whatever is written is still viewed through the lens of the reader’s experience
Will I lose readers/fans? Maybe, but some things are more important than selling books
The difference between politics and morals
I have black family. I have gay family – I will always stand up for them. And I will not apologize for it.
Responsibility of having a platform
Don’t be hurtful – JK Rowling Anti-trans tweetstorm
Why it’s surprising and how it is hurtful
Trans teenagers at risk of depression and suicide
Be Consistent
Previously an ally drawing a strange line – Feels like a betrayal
My books and race
Racial purity in Larachd an Fhamhair and why Sarah insists on pushing back – Not saying I created it as an analogy for that, but some may see it that way. This is why Sarah pushes back against those ideas.
The skinheads at the Celtic festival - There is a certain element among white supremacists that fetishize Celts and Nordic culture. I worry about them reading their own views into my books.
Never punch down – It’s fine to talk about issues, but don’t personally attack people especially if their platform is smaller than yours. That’s what bullies do
Anne Rice getting her fans to attack a blogger who wrote a bad review
Real leaders don’t punch down
Does this hurt the work?
The fine line that we walk – Write diversity, but don’t try to tell the stories that aren’t yours to tell, but it is important to be conscious of that
Daniel Radcliffe’s response
Key paragraph
To all the people who now feel that their experience of the books has been tarnished or diminished, I am deeply sorry for the pain these comments have caused you. I really hope that you don’t entirely lose what was valuable in these stories to you. If these books taught you that love is the strongest force in the universe, capable of overcoming anything; if they taught you that strength is found in diversity, and that dogmatic ideas of pureness lead to the oppression of vulnerable groups; if you believe that a particular character is trans, nonbinary, or gender fluid, or that they are gay or bisexual; if you found anything in these stories that resonated with you and helped you at any time in your life — then that is between you and the book that you read, and it is sacred. And in my opinion nobody can touch that. It means to you what it means to you and I hope that these comments will not taint that too much.
— Daniel Radcliffe
What I’m Writing
Still Book 4 – Interminably Book 4, you can check my progress here.
What I’m ReadingNot much actually, because Book 4 What I’m Watching What I’m CraftingMy office – Working on a wall hanging, curtains, and blackboard
May 26, 2020
Office Hours: Getting a handle on your voice
What’s New
Mask mania
The mask isn’t just to protect you. It’s to prevent you from unwittingly spreading the virus. Once again people ASYMPTOMATIC SPREAD.
This is NOT violating your civil liberties – You are still able to speak, you are still able to pray, you are still able to go about your business.
In VA the health department will start issuing citations to businesses who don’t require people to wear masks. (I’m looking Giant Foods)
Journaling – Started last week – Very cathartic
Live stream expansion – Streamyard or Restream for streaming to multiple platforms
Summer Read-along for the Once & Future Series – Inside the Kettle Holler Literary Society
Weekly Topic
Voice – This is the thing that makes each writer distinct. Agents and editors will tell you that
Endless retellings of fairy tales, rewriting classics like Emma into Clueless or Pride and Prejudice into Bridget Jones Diary
The Bookwoman of Troublesome Creek and The Giver of Stars – Two books so similar that it has been reasonably argued in many circles that Moyes plagiarized her book Richardson’s book. – What’s different is the author’s voice.
Recognizing your voice
What makes your voice different? Most writers have things that make their voice different from another’s. Even if you are influenced by another author. Dorothy Dunnett is a prime example. Her books The Lymond Chronicles and the House of Niccolo have influenced so many writers. Before Phillipa Gregory or Cassandra Clare, Dunnett is the high priestess of palace intrigue. But she also has one of the most distinctive voices in modern literature. None of those other writers even attempt to sound like her.
Compare descriptive passages from The White House compared with The River Maiden
Description woven with action
Rhythm to the length of the sentences
Spare description
Included backstory
Finding Your Voice – How is your voice unique?
Exercise from Finding Your Voice – Rewrite a favorite passage from a classic book
What I’m Writing
Still Book4 – The finale
I would give you a link where you can get your own, but they are out of stock everywhere.
What I’m Reading
Not much actually, because Book 4
What I’m WatchingOuter Banks - Netflix
What I’m CraftingMy garden. – Greenhouse
May 19, 2020
Office Hours: Spring Haze
End of the school year
Spring fever/cabin fever
ennui
Weekly Topic: Redirection and Revision
Writer’s block?
Take a shower/drive
Do something else. Distract yourself from whatever you’re dwelling on
Write something else
Try working in a different place
If you listen to music while writing change the music. The Dark Side of Chopin
Not so much block as lack of focus. It’s not like I’m not thinking about what I’m writing. I think about it all the time. But all that thinking is high level, “How do I bring this thing home” thinking rather than what words do I write next thinking. I sit down to write a scene and I immediately project 3-4 scenes ahead to where this scene might lead, or I think 2 – 3 scenes back to revisions that I’ll need to do to shore up the ending that I want. And did I stick with this theme, and what about my B-story? Can I put that one thing off to the next book or does it need to happen before the end of this book. All that big picture thinking obscures the scene that I need to write. So how do I get back on track?
Revision notes: Keep a notebook, virtual or otherwise handy for jotting down notes on revisions that are needed.
Plot break – If you can’t get your mind off the big picture, then step back and look at it. What is it about the big picture that you think is incomplete and how can you fix that?
Writing prompt: Same characters, different situation. It helps to have someone else give you the situation.
Take a REAL break. Most writers that I know are struggling to write just now. Early in this I was trying to stay productive in those non-writing times by working on marketing, YouTube videos, taxes, and other things related to the business of writing. But sometimes, you just have to step away. For me that was last weekend. It was all garden all the time. For the first time in months, I didn’t even think about the book and it was so refreshing not to wake up anxious about the time it’s taking to finish this, or whether you all are going to like it or hate it. I have to remind myself sometimes that it’s okay to do that. Sometimes, my work ethic verges on pathological and I get very cranky and down on myself when I don’t see myself being productive.
What I’m Writing
Still Book4 because the last week was SO unproductive
What I’m ReadingLive and Let Spy (The King’s Rogues Book 1) – Pure delicious escape
What I’m WatchingSchitt’s Creek - Don’t get me started on how much I love this show and its characters. I just hope that one day I can meet Dan Levy and thank him for the gift that is this show
What I’m CraftingMy garden. Not much else
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May 5, 2020
Stream of Consciousness exercise
Trying the Stream of Consciousness exercise from Creative Writer’s Notebook. I am clearly no James Joyce, but I don’t hate the way this one turned out.
Sat here with my favorite mug in hand on my wee patio in the mid-morning sun watching the dog break apart a stick blown out of a tree by a spring storm. The trees that will have to come down, to my disappointment. I planned the shade garden around those trees. Now, the shad will be cut down.
Still, better that than falling on the house. The one outside Kip’s window is particularly worrisome. But the expense, and at the start of another economic depression. At least we haven’t lost any income. So many, so many have. Too many for us to help. Too many for any of us to help.
How do you choose where to give when you are so worried about the future? How do you decide who is worthy? Or do you? Can you choose whose poverty is greater?
And what about the poverty of spirit, of intellect, of courage? Those are just as dangerous if not more. I see people, adults behaving like the worst sort of school yard bullies. Shouting, spitting, waving their hands around.
-(Text from upstairs) Mom, have you seen my agenda?
-It’s beside your bed.
Where are the adults when even the supposed grown ups behave in ways that you would punish your children for? And how long will we be stuck at home when people keep defying common sense or putting profits over people.
-(Husband approaches from the garage.)Okay, is the grocery list up to date? I can go now.
-Should be. Oh, get whatever meat you can find. There may be a shortage soon, and we can freeze it.
-Okay. (checks grocery list) The order for the part to fix the weed whacker got cancelled. The company isn’t shipping anything right now.
-Damn. (Looks at weeds growing taller by the hour after all this rain.)
-Yeah. I’ll figure something out. (Shrugs because he has no idea what that something will be.)
-Okay.
-Have the boy clean up around the trash bins.
-Yep. Don’t forget to wear a mask.
-(Pats pocket) I’ll be back. Love you.
-Love you too.
He goes back into the garage to leave for the store. He’s going early to avoid the crowd. He’s going rather than me because his life insurance is worth more, because he thinks I could handle single parenthood better than he could.
I’m not so sure.
Office Hours: Setting and Stream of Consciousness
I’m an aunt again. YAY!
On Writing and Productivity - SettingWhere does your story take place?
How does that setting influence your setting?
Some stories can be moved like Emma to Clueless
Some depend on the setting to move the story along
Researching settings when travel is hard or expensive
Google Earth/Streetview
Youtube
Nothing beats going there
Note details like smell and noise levels that you can’t get from a picture or Google streetview
Details that give your story authenticity
What I’m WritingBook 4 - Gaining momentum coming into the Finale
Stream of Consciousness exercise from Creative Writer’s Notebook - Read aloud. You can see what I wrote here.
What I’m Reading
Non-fiction: Creative Writer’s Notebook
Fiction: Eve Silver - Dark Prince, Dark Desires
Outlander - thoughts on episode 511 “Journeycake” & David Berry leaving the show
Upload - The Good Place meets Black Mirror with a lot of heart
Not much, more writing than crafting
April 28, 2020
Office Hours: What is the True North for your book?
Cookie Madness
Gardening adventures
Bit by the sourdough bug
Recipes
Easy pickled vegetables - I did this with julienne d onions, carrots and cucumber
ProductivityTheme - What is the true north or your novel
What is a theme and why should you have one
How to pick it Outlining Your Novel - K. M. Weiland
How it CAN drive productivity
Ute Hagen’s Object Exercise from Respect for Acting
What I’m Writing
Book 4 - Going well after pausing to re-plot
Revision Notes
What I’m ReadingNon-Fiction - Creative Writer’s Notebook 20 Great Authors & 70 Writing Exercises
Fiction - Beauty: Everland Ever After - Caroline Lee
What I’m WatchingOutlander - Roger Mac galvanized, maybe so
What I’m CraftingSanquhar knit shawlApril 21, 2020
Office Hours: Plotting, Re-plotting and Artists Setting Boundaries
Getting the hang of this quarantine thing: virtual schooling, family time, and staying sane
Virtual Happy Hour with James River Writers might just inspire a KHLS meeting on Zoom
Remember these words and keep yourselves safe “asymptomatic spread” Say it again, “asymptomatic spread” Stay safe everybody.
Productivity:Still working away on Act 3 of Book 4
Plotting flexibility - I’m a plotter, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room to shift gears when inspiration strikes (Another mention of beat sheets from Save the Cat Writes a Novel
Going to write this one out because it’s important. This past week saw Outlander star Sam Heughan share in Instagram about some of the bullying, stalking and privacy invading that he and his family and friends have been subjected to over the past few years. This week I talked about the fact that art whether it is acting, writing, painting, singing…requires creativity and comes from a vulnerable place inside all of us. I refer back to a blog post that I mentioned a couple of weeks ago by Lisa Cooper Ellison (I was close) on on Writing from the Bottom Wrung in which she talks about the difficulties of being creative when you’re worried about your health and safety. While artists show us vulnerability which may make the audience feel close to them, artists of all stripes still have the right to set boundaries. They get to decide where the line is that divides their work from their personal lives. Those boundaries are important so that they can feel safe enough to continue creating. When those boundaries aren’t respected, it makes it very difficult for them to do the thing that we love them for doing. So, if you want to continue enjoying artists work, you have to respect their boundaries.
What I’m Reading:
Fiction: Daring to Fall - Shannon Stultz
Non-fiction:
Ready, Set, Novel - Chris Baty, Lindsey Grant, and Tavia Stewart-Streit
Women of the Celts - Jean Markhale
Also mentioned the Further Reading pages here in the site if you’re looking for some lockdown reads
What I’m Watching:What I’m Crafting:Sanquhar knit shawl
Sophie Digard inspired valances for the shed windows.
April 14, 2020
Office Hours: Corn dogs & Couscous
In which I talk about productivity, character development, Outlaner, and going a little stir crazy. Pardon the technical issues at the beginning. You can’t see it, but my computer was going a little crazy.
What’s New
Eric’s lunchtime madness
Lounge wear for everybody
Productivity:
The dam seems to have broken thanks to continued attempts and just being sick of myself
Wise words from Steven Pressfield in The War of Art (seriously, you need this book)
Thanks to Wendi Dunford of the The Morning Stream - Therapy Thursdays segments for recommending this book
What I’m Writing:Breaking Into Three: If you’re a Save the Cat fan, you know what that means. If not, I can just say that I’m about 3/4 of the way through this draft.
What I’m Reading:Non-fiction - Ready, Set, Novel - Chris Baty, Lindsey Grant, and Tavia Stewart-Streit
Fiction - Daring to Fall - Shannon Stults
What I’m Watching:Outlander - Starz - I have a lot to say about this week’s episode. But it’s full of spoilers for the show and books so beware.
Ugears Mechanical Etui 3D Puzzle, Wooden Building Blocks, Decorative Desktop Business Card Holder, Brain Teaser Game for Teens and Adults
What I’m Crafting
Sanquhar Knitting shawl
Cloth mask - from my mom
Business card holder/dispenser - Eric - This is actually a nifty kit that you can buy here.
April 7, 2020
Office Hours: It's okay if you're not as productive.
Finding time and dealing with cabin fever
Book Sale - Still 3 books for 3 bucks. Don’t miss this deal
The Once & Future Series is now available at most ebook retailers and some subscription services
Productivity:Better last week than the week before, and hoping to be better this week.
If you’re like me and having a hard time writing fiction right now, this blog can give you some tips on why and how to break through or at least stay creative. Writing from the Bottom Rung: Sustain Your Creativity During a Pandemic - Lisa Cooper Ellison
Limit your news intake - I do this by decided to only READ news, not watch it. I get far less stressed out reading about current events than I do watching about them on the TV.
Accept that it’s hard right now and find other ways to be productive (which brings me to the next item.)
Video readings - I have been posting videos of me reading The River Maiden on my youtube channel. So, if you want to catch those readings you can. You can also find a video with some Gaelic pronunciations from the books.
Ready Set Novel Workbook
What I’m reading:
Non-fiction: Ready. Set. Novel! Plan and Plot Your Upcoming Masterpiece - Chris Baty, Lindsey Grant, and Tavia Stewart-Streit
Fiction - The Blacksmith - Cecelia Mecca
What I’m crafting:Sanquhar knit shawl - I’m freestyling it with no pattern. What is Sanquhar knitting? Find out here.
