Meradeth Houston's Blog, page 3
June 24, 2019
Science for Authors: Why Would You Clone A Dinosaur? #amwriting
While I don't work with cloning in my laboratory, one of the questions I get asked all of the time is whether or not we'll be able to clone/revive extinct species. Jurassic Park movies of course play a role in this, and there has been plenty of other articles/books/TV shows that talk about the potential of bringing back extinct species.
So, first of all, when people think of this, most of the time it's the idea of bringing back mammoths, or dinosaurs, or something big and amazing from earth's history. But, really, there are a few other things to consider: many species have been driven extinct by human actions and bringing them back may aid in restoring the ecology of places that now no longer have a species that was necessary to fill whatever niche the extinct species filled. This has always struck me as a something that would be really amazing to do, as maybe we could help repair some of the damage humans have done to the natural world.
But, of course, that's not what most people think about :) Many would love to see a T-Rex in person (so long as they wouldn't be eaten!), and there are other cool things that would be awe inspiring. Here's the thing: with our current technology, we don't have access to the DNA from dinosaurs. Yep, even if it's stuck in amber. See, DNA degrades with time, just like the rest of our body. So the longer it's been since the organism was alive, the less "good" DNA that we can read is around. This makes any sort of ability to make say, a T-Rex, really hard.
There are other species, like mammoths, where we do have pretty decent DNA, as there have been nearly whole individuals locked in the permafrost and recently found. From these, though, we still have the issue of their DNA being degraded. It's like having a huge puzzle of billions of little pieces (the basepairs of A, T, C, & G that make up all our genomes) that have been broken into tiny pieces. Making sure all the pieces are there, and put back together in the right way, is not so easy. In reality, we don't have 100% of any mammoths genome to date, as there are always a few missing pieces.
This all being said, there are a few things that could be done to clone these species. These are still pretty theoretical, and contingent on a whole lot of other technicalities I'll touch on in a bit. But, what can be done is, if we're able to identify most of the differences in the pattern of A/T/C/G's in, say, an extinct mammoth, and a closely related elephant today, it's possible to edit the elephant's genome to resemble that of a mammoth. So, go in and switch the A in an elephant's genome to the T it is in mammoths. This could be done with the CRISPR-Cas9 editing system, although the number of changes are huge and the effectiveness questionable. The other way this could be done is through back-breeding. This is basically finding two individuals with a lot of the extinct species' DNA and breeding them together. The offspring would then potentially have even more of the extinct species' DNA, and through generations of this it would be possible to end up with an few individuals with most of the ancestral genome. But then there's always the question of whether or not all of the differences between the mammoth and elephant have been found, because the original mammoth copy of the puzzle isn't the best.
The other way this could be done would be to build the genome from scratch. This is a huge undertaking--billions of basepairs all linked together in the way that a mammoth's would be--but not too impossible in the near future. Again, so long as we have a good copy of the original.
Direct cloning will never work for any of these species. That's because, in order to do so, one needs an intact and healthy cell nucleus to transfer into another cell (and egg that has had its own nucleus removed), in order to have the cell start using the genome to build a body. No really old and dead species has an nucleus/genome intact enough to do this, as, again, they degrade after death.
Okay, so say someone does manage to get all the mammoth changes incorporated into a genome, gets it into an egg, and it starts to replicate and grow. Those hurdles are pretty crazy hard already, but then it's necessary to get that egg implanted into a potential mother, and have her carry it to term. Anyone who is familiar with IVF knows this is hard enough in humans when the cells are our own--doing so between two species, and especially with species who have complicated reproductive timing, is even harder. We even know now that modern human mothers probably couldn't carry to term babies made with a Neanderthal father--their immune systems were incompatible. And humans and Neanderthals are super close cousin species!
But, say this all works out. A mamma elephant has a baby mammoth. Then what? How ethical is it to have a single member of a long gone species hanging around, especially if that species is known to have been highly social? Where does this individual live, when it no longer has the vast frozen tundra to wander? Honestly, it makes me kind of sad to think about what this poor individual might have to endure.
Anyhow, this is all to say, that cloning of extinct species is possible. Maybe. Easy? Definitely not. Worth it? Maybe, as we could potentially help in bringing back, say, extinct species of Galapagos tortoises or Carrier Pigeons. But if you're really hoping for a pet Velociraptor sometime, it's probably (a) not happening anytime soon, (b) maybe not the most ethical of things to do, and (c) a good way to get eaten ;)
So, first of all, when people think of this, most of the time it's the idea of bringing back mammoths, or dinosaurs, or something big and amazing from earth's history. But, really, there are a few other things to consider: many species have been driven extinct by human actions and bringing them back may aid in restoring the ecology of places that now no longer have a species that was necessary to fill whatever niche the extinct species filled. This has always struck me as a something that would be really amazing to do, as maybe we could help repair some of the damage humans have done to the natural world.
But, of course, that's not what most people think about :) Many would love to see a T-Rex in person (so long as they wouldn't be eaten!), and there are other cool things that would be awe inspiring. Here's the thing: with our current technology, we don't have access to the DNA from dinosaurs. Yep, even if it's stuck in amber. See, DNA degrades with time, just like the rest of our body. So the longer it's been since the organism was alive, the less "good" DNA that we can read is around. This makes any sort of ability to make say, a T-Rex, really hard.
There are other species, like mammoths, where we do have pretty decent DNA, as there have been nearly whole individuals locked in the permafrost and recently found. From these, though, we still have the issue of their DNA being degraded. It's like having a huge puzzle of billions of little pieces (the basepairs of A, T, C, & G that make up all our genomes) that have been broken into tiny pieces. Making sure all the pieces are there, and put back together in the right way, is not so easy. In reality, we don't have 100% of any mammoths genome to date, as there are always a few missing pieces.
This all being said, there are a few things that could be done to clone these species. These are still pretty theoretical, and contingent on a whole lot of other technicalities I'll touch on in a bit. But, what can be done is, if we're able to identify most of the differences in the pattern of A/T/C/G's in, say, an extinct mammoth, and a closely related elephant today, it's possible to edit the elephant's genome to resemble that of a mammoth. So, go in and switch the A in an elephant's genome to the T it is in mammoths. This could be done with the CRISPR-Cas9 editing system, although the number of changes are huge and the effectiveness questionable. The other way this could be done is through back-breeding. This is basically finding two individuals with a lot of the extinct species' DNA and breeding them together. The offspring would then potentially have even more of the extinct species' DNA, and through generations of this it would be possible to end up with an few individuals with most of the ancestral genome. But then there's always the question of whether or not all of the differences between the mammoth and elephant have been found, because the original mammoth copy of the puzzle isn't the best.The other way this could be done would be to build the genome from scratch. This is a huge undertaking--billions of basepairs all linked together in the way that a mammoth's would be--but not too impossible in the near future. Again, so long as we have a good copy of the original.
Direct cloning will never work for any of these species. That's because, in order to do so, one needs an intact and healthy cell nucleus to transfer into another cell (and egg that has had its own nucleus removed), in order to have the cell start using the genome to build a body. No really old and dead species has an nucleus/genome intact enough to do this, as, again, they degrade after death.
Okay, so say someone does manage to get all the mammoth changes incorporated into a genome, gets it into an egg, and it starts to replicate and grow. Those hurdles are pretty crazy hard already, but then it's necessary to get that egg implanted into a potential mother, and have her carry it to term. Anyone who is familiar with IVF knows this is hard enough in humans when the cells are our own--doing so between two species, and especially with species who have complicated reproductive timing, is even harder. We even know now that modern human mothers probably couldn't carry to term babies made with a Neanderthal father--their immune systems were incompatible. And humans and Neanderthals are super close cousin species!But, say this all works out. A mamma elephant has a baby mammoth. Then what? How ethical is it to have a single member of a long gone species hanging around, especially if that species is known to have been highly social? Where does this individual live, when it no longer has the vast frozen tundra to wander? Honestly, it makes me kind of sad to think about what this poor individual might have to endure.
Anyhow, this is all to say, that cloning of extinct species is possible. Maybe. Easy? Definitely not. Worth it? Maybe, as we could potentially help in bringing back, say, extinct species of Galapagos tortoises or Carrier Pigeons. But if you're really hoping for a pet Velociraptor sometime, it's probably (a) not happening anytime soon, (b) maybe not the most ethical of things to do, and (c) a good way to get eaten ;)
June 3, 2019
After Reading ENCHANTED INC. by Shanna Swendson
DON'T MESS WITH HEXESKatie Chandler had always heard that New York is a weird and wonderful place, but this small-town Texas gal had no idea how weird until she moved there. Everywhere she goes, she sees something worth gawking at and Katie is afraid she's a little too normal to make a splash in the big city. Working for an ogre of a boss doesn't help.
Then, seemingly out of the blue, Katie gets a job offer from Magic, Spells, and Illusions, Inc., a company that provides tricks of the trade to the magic community. For MSI, Katie's ordinariness is an asset.
Lacking any bit of magic, she can easily spot a fake spell, catch hidden clauses in competitor's contracts, and detect magically disguised intruders. Suddenly, average Katie is very special indeed.
She quickly learns that office politics are even more complicated when your new boss is a real ogre, and you have a crush on the sexy, shy, ultra powerful head of the R&D department, who is so busy fighting an evil competitor threatening to sell black magic on the street that he seems barely to notice Katie. Now it's up to Katie to pull off the impossible: save the world and--hopefully--live happily ever after. (Goodreads)
Okay, so opening mention: my agent asked me to read this as I started in on revisions on my WIP. So, while reading, I was being extra picky and trying to parse out a lot of what was going on at the writing level, and less at the general-reading level. Which may be a bit why I found the plot itself to be a bit lacking. Like, I wanted to see more happen. It seemed to take until the very last chapter for that to occur, and even then I found myself doing going "wait, all that build up for that?" LOL! Okay, that's me being uber critical. The best thing about this book was the way the setting and characters were described. I loved the writing and the creativity of the setting and world. It was hilarious and very well done. Katie, while a tad bit of a Mary Sue, was also engaging and had a quick mind and was well drawn. There were a few times when I wanted her to be more active in her predicament, but how she responded to the world around her fit well with how she'd been put together. Anyhow, overall, I am curious to check out the rest of the series, but have a long list of other reads to check out ahead of that, as well as my own WIP... :)
May 28, 2019
Three Weeks Post Release of SOMEONE ELSE'S SOUL
Today marks three weeks post release and I thought I'd chat here a little bit about what that's been like :) Honestly, it's been a whirlwind in many respects, both a bit amazing and a bit difficult.
Awkward photo of me at the signing.Starting with the awesome: I had such a wonderful time at my book signing! So many lovely people came, listened to me, and snagged copies of my book. It was utterly lovely. My mom even joined in, which was icing on the cake.
I also participated at MisCon, our local sci-fi and fantasy convention, over Memorial Day weekend. This was super fun, as always, and I had a good time discussing all the ins and outs of writing with people, along with how to use science and anthropology to be better world builders and writers. While I am certainly not any kind of expert, I had a wonderful time and learned just as much from listening to the other lovely authors in attendance as anyone else there.
On this kind of note, I have another book signing coming up at the end of June at our local Barnes and Noble, if you're in the area! Details will be in my Facebook page. Hopefully I won't end up there by myself, lol! This is definitely one of my weird fears.
Now for the more honest part of things, because I tend to do that kind of thing. It's been a rough couple of weeks, both for family health reasons that I won't go into here, but also because I wish sales were better, I wish reviews were better, and I wish I knew how to work with both. Marketing has never been my strong suit, but right now I feel a bit like I'm spinning my wheels and unable to see a good way forward. I probably ought to do some reading and figure out a few things, but I keep feeling a bit:
The other thing that I've been dealing with is a few reviews that have, well...sucked. While the vast majority of the reviews have been lovely, I have had a few from people that clearly did not like the book. Fine, I know that every book is not for every reader, but it has certainly stung. I know that I've read books that I flat-out did not care for, but I often am mindful of that in a review (and won't leave ones that are utterly scathing on public places if it comes down to it). Anyhow, that's been a little hard to work past and something I need to work on.
So, where am I really? Dealing :) Working on my next novel. Really looking forward to the release of THE COINCIDENCE MAKERS. Marketing where I can. And generally being the kind of author that's working toward a bigger, better future!
Awkward photo of me at the signing.Starting with the awesome: I had such a wonderful time at my book signing! So many lovely people came, listened to me, and snagged copies of my book. It was utterly lovely. My mom even joined in, which was icing on the cake.I also participated at MisCon, our local sci-fi and fantasy convention, over Memorial Day weekend. This was super fun, as always, and I had a good time discussing all the ins and outs of writing with people, along with how to use science and anthropology to be better world builders and writers. While I am certainly not any kind of expert, I had a wonderful time and learned just as much from listening to the other lovely authors in attendance as anyone else there.
On this kind of note, I have another book signing coming up at the end of June at our local Barnes and Noble, if you're in the area! Details will be in my Facebook page. Hopefully I won't end up there by myself, lol! This is definitely one of my weird fears.
Now for the more honest part of things, because I tend to do that kind of thing. It's been a rough couple of weeks, both for family health reasons that I won't go into here, but also because I wish sales were better, I wish reviews were better, and I wish I knew how to work with both. Marketing has never been my strong suit, but right now I feel a bit like I'm spinning my wheels and unable to see a good way forward. I probably ought to do some reading and figure out a few things, but I keep feeling a bit:
The other thing that I've been dealing with is a few reviews that have, well...sucked. While the vast majority of the reviews have been lovely, I have had a few from people that clearly did not like the book. Fine, I know that every book is not for every reader, but it has certainly stung. I know that I've read books that I flat-out did not care for, but I often am mindful of that in a review (and won't leave ones that are utterly scathing on public places if it comes down to it). Anyhow, that's been a little hard to work past and something I need to work on.
So, where am I really? Dealing :) Working on my next novel. Really looking forward to the release of THE COINCIDENCE MAKERS. Marketing where I can. And generally being the kind of author that's working toward a bigger, better future!
May 20, 2019
After Reading: APPARENT POWER by Dacia M. Arnold
Before touching on the book, I just want to say a GIANT thank you to everyone who has helped support me for my book release! Someone Else's Soul has been out for a couple of weeks now and I just can't say enough about all the lovely and amazing people who have helped spread the work, write reviews, and snag copies. And thanks as well to be publishing house, Bleeding Ink Publishing, because they have been awesome beyond belief :)
Okay, on to this book:
A dormant gene awakens in a quarter of the world’s population and the effects are apocalyptic. With an even rarer gene, the life of Valerie Russell turns into a shocking race against time.
When the human body begins to require more electricity than needed to keep a heart beating, cars lose power, phones no longer function, and planes fall from the sky.
Stranded in southern Colorado, a hundred miles from home—and from her two-year-old son— Valerie must find it within herself to trek the distance with the help of a questionable assembly of ex-military friends of the family.
But the awakening has a different effect on Valerie. While others absorb electricity, Valerie’s abilities are not as limited, making her the key to unlocking a worldwide genocide of those who were not affected.
As she evades the rising totalitarian government, Valerie is also faced with a moral choice: risk failure and attempt to save the masses from the regime’s deadly plot or run and preserve only the lives of her family.
How does a mother make such an impossible choice? (Goodreads)
After reading this, I'll never see the Denver airport as anything other than creepy :) LOL! Okay, really, that's not a spoiler. But I did really enjoy being able to picture this setting so well after all the time I've been stuck in that giant labyrinth. And since my brother used to live in Colorado Springs, I instantly felt like I could put myself into the setting of this novel. Not that Arnold leaves you any time to get too comfortable with anything--this is one fast-paced novel with all kinds of twists and turns that kept me up reading way too late. Not only is the insanity that results from the situation unfolding in the novel totally believable (totalitarian gov't--totally see it!), the emotions Valerie feels ring so true. She has to face some crazy stuff, but I really liked her fortitude. Overall, a really interesting and fun read, and I'm looking forward to the next!
Okay, on to this book:
A dormant gene awakens in a quarter of the world’s population and the effects are apocalyptic. With an even rarer gene, the life of Valerie Russell turns into a shocking race against time.
When the human body begins to require more electricity than needed to keep a heart beating, cars lose power, phones no longer function, and planes fall from the sky.
Stranded in southern Colorado, a hundred miles from home—and from her two-year-old son— Valerie must find it within herself to trek the distance with the help of a questionable assembly of ex-military friends of the family.
But the awakening has a different effect on Valerie. While others absorb electricity, Valerie’s abilities are not as limited, making her the key to unlocking a worldwide genocide of those who were not affected.
As she evades the rising totalitarian government, Valerie is also faced with a moral choice: risk failure and attempt to save the masses from the regime’s deadly plot or run and preserve only the lives of her family.
How does a mother make such an impossible choice? (Goodreads)
After reading this, I'll never see the Denver airport as anything other than creepy :) LOL! Okay, really, that's not a spoiler. But I did really enjoy being able to picture this setting so well after all the time I've been stuck in that giant labyrinth. And since my brother used to live in Colorado Springs, I instantly felt like I could put myself into the setting of this novel. Not that Arnold leaves you any time to get too comfortable with anything--this is one fast-paced novel with all kinds of twists and turns that kept me up reading way too late. Not only is the insanity that results from the situation unfolding in the novel totally believable (totalitarian gov't--totally see it!), the emotions Valerie feels ring so true. She has to face some crazy stuff, but I really liked her fortitude. Overall, a really interesting and fun read, and I'm looking forward to the next!
May 6, 2019
SOMEONE ELSE'S SOUL Available This Week! #amreading #scifi
IT'S FINALLY HERE!! Release day, that is :) Well, it'll be release day on Tuesday the 7th. Honestly, I can barely believe it!
Care to snag a copy?
A few other fun things are going on this week, of course. First off, who doesn't love a giveaway?
Enter Here!
There's also a little fun on Facebook :)
Come join me on Tuesday evening!
And I'd love to have you join me for my signing and little release day shindig at Shakespeare and Company in Missoula! If you're in the area, please come join me!
It's going to be a busy but awesome week--hope to see you around the web or in person!
Care to snag a copy?
A few other fun things are going on this week, of course. First off, who doesn't love a giveaway?
Enter Here!
There's also a little fun on Facebook :)
Come join me on Tuesday evening!
And I'd love to have you join me for my signing and little release day shindig at Shakespeare and Company in Missoula! If you're in the area, please come join me!It's going to be a busy but awesome week--hope to see you around the web or in person!
April 29, 2019
One Week Out! Release Day Fast Approaching for SOMEONE ELSE'S SOUL #upcomingrelease #giveaway
How did that happen? It feels like an eternity ago that I was thinking, "Oh wow, I've got a full year until this book comes out!" And Wham! It's in a WEEK.
So, what's an author to do? Well, I figured a little giveaway was in order. What do you think? :) Because pre-orders of books are SUPER important, I figured it wouldn't hurt to offer a little incentive. Here's how this'll roll:
Pre-order Someone Else's Soul from Amazon, or preferably my publisher.Send me a copy of your receipt/invoice/whatever proof. You can reply to this email or send it to my email (mhouston@meradethhouston.com)Do this before April 30th!Don't just turn around and return it, m'k? Because that sucksI'll select a winner for a $5 USD Amazon gift-card to be delivered to your email address!ALSO, if you happen to be in the Missoula area, I'll be doing a fun little reading/signing/party thing at Shakespeare & Company on the 8th. Come join in the fun--there will be treats!
There are going to be a LOT of other giveaways for my release, with some awesome prize packages, but this is to get this party started. Feel free to spread the word, and THANK YOU to everyone who purchases a copy! Words can't express how happy it makes me to share the stories that rattle around in my brain.
Snag a Copy!
April 22, 2019
Monday Mishmash: a little bit of everyone #amwriting #amreading
We are barreling like a freight train toward the release of Someone Else's Soul, the end of the semester, and all sorts of insanity. While this is great, it's also quite busy :) In a good way, of course! Also, in a bit of an insane way, haha. Anyhow, a few little things of late:
Sign-ups for the blog tour for Someone Else's Soul are live. Mind giving me a hand with this?I just recently returned from an AMAZING trip to see the UNESCO site of Paquime, which is in Chihuahua, Mexico. It was so cool, and a longtime goal, as I've wanted to work at this site since grad school. I have to pinch myself regularly that I'm lucky enough to work at this site!
Me and my grad student, Rachel, being blown away by this amazing locale!I also had the chance to attend the Society for American Archaeologists meeting in Albuquerque. While a whirlwind of a trip, I had a blast, and ate my weight in tacos :)Spring is here, finally! After a winter that never wanted to give up, it's been warm enough to ditch my giant jacket and even wear a sleeveless dress.
I've been busy making little memes to share for my upcoming release. Please feel free to share!
Long post, but lots of pics, so there ya go! Hugs and much love to all who are able to help me out sharing my upcoming release :)
Sign-ups for the blog tour for Someone Else's Soul are live. Mind giving me a hand with this?I just recently returned from an AMAZING trip to see the UNESCO site of Paquime, which is in Chihuahua, Mexico. It was so cool, and a longtime goal, as I've wanted to work at this site since grad school. I have to pinch myself regularly that I'm lucky enough to work at this site!
Me and my grad student, Rachel, being blown away by this amazing locale!I also had the chance to attend the Society for American Archaeologists meeting in Albuquerque. While a whirlwind of a trip, I had a blast, and ate my weight in tacos :)Spring is here, finally! After a winter that never wanted to give up, it's been warm enough to ditch my giant jacket and even wear a sleeveless dress.
I've been busy making little memes to share for my upcoming release. Please feel free to share!
Long post, but lots of pics, so there ya go! Hugs and much love to all who are able to help me out sharing my upcoming release :)
April 8, 2019
After Reading: VENGEFUL by VE Schwab #amreading
So, just by way of reminder, it's ONE MONTH until the release of this book. Eeep! I am SO stoked (and SO nervous), but you'll undoubtedly be hearing more about this as the time draws closer. And closer. And then all hell breaks loose ;) Or, ya know, you could allay some of my fears and preorder it...*There's an awesome giveaway going on if you do happen to pre-order, too!* (Check out those details on my newsletter and get to ordering!
Okay, so on to what I've been reading:
The sequel to VICIOUS, V.E. Schwab's first adult novel.Sydney once had Serena—beloved sister, betrayed enemy, powerful ally. But now she is alone, except for her thrice-dead dog, Dol, and then there's Victor, who thinks Sydney doesn't know about his most recent act of vengeance.
Victor himself is under the radar these days—being buried and re-animated can strike concern even if one has superhuman powers. But despite his own worries, his anger remains. And Eli Ever still has yet to pay for the evil he has done. (Goodreads)
This is one of those books that I sank into and just loved every minute of swimming through the world. It was fascinating, dark, and utterly poignant. The characters Schwab portrays are so well done. I love their layers and the fact that all of them exist in some level of gray--not terribly bad people, but also not terribly good. Add in a few that are awful but think they're saviors. It's delicious. And because I've written a lot lately about horribly clever and dastardly compounds where people are taken and locked up by outside forces seeking to exploit them (no spoilers here! Hehe!), I was particularly pleased with the one in this book--a very good job at what some of my worst fears are of just such a place. Anyhow, I do hope this series continues because I utterly love it!
March 25, 2019
Thinking about Endings #amwriting #amwritingscifi
So, for those of you who may not know this, I am a major pantster (write by the seat of my pants and all that). I want to outline, I really do. It just does NOT work for my creativity. My muse likes her freedom I guess :) Mostly I d have some rough idea of where I'm going with a piece, but sometimes I don't...and I'm currently in this spot where I totally have been banging my head against this novel, trying to decide how to take it.
See, I've been working with a theme/concept that is important to me. I teach about it and it's one of those times where I'm really working to integrate what I know of a topic (in this case, eugenics) and the broader story. To tie this novel all together, I keep debating about whether I want an ending that will work for just the main character, or do I want something more sweeping that will potentially aid in the broader world? Because, yeah, I weirdly want to leave the world I've created better than how I found it, haha.
Anyhow, this whole situation has gotten me thinking a whole lot about endings. There are so many varieties! Nice, neat bows with a happily ever after, loose endings that hint at something to come, cliffhangers, and just about every combination you can imagine. Personally, I don't really like tying everything together perfectly in my novels. I like there to still be a few little loose ends that leave the reader thinking about the characters after the story's done. I love to continue thinking about the characters and world and issues later on, so a pretty little bow often doesn't provide me with that food for thought. But, I do know that most people like everything all wrapped up.
I don't have anything wise or deep to add here, but as I go back to wrestling with my novel (I. Am. So. Close!), I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you like your endings!
See, I've been working with a theme/concept that is important to me. I teach about it and it's one of those times where I'm really working to integrate what I know of a topic (in this case, eugenics) and the broader story. To tie this novel all together, I keep debating about whether I want an ending that will work for just the main character, or do I want something more sweeping that will potentially aid in the broader world? Because, yeah, I weirdly want to leave the world I've created better than how I found it, haha.Anyhow, this whole situation has gotten me thinking a whole lot about endings. There are so many varieties! Nice, neat bows with a happily ever after, loose endings that hint at something to come, cliffhangers, and just about every combination you can imagine. Personally, I don't really like tying everything together perfectly in my novels. I like there to still be a few little loose ends that leave the reader thinking about the characters after the story's done. I love to continue thinking about the characters and world and issues later on, so a pretty little bow often doesn't provide me with that food for thought. But, I do know that most people like everything all wrapped up.
I don't have anything wise or deep to add here, but as I go back to wrestling with my novel (I. Am. So. Close!), I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you like your endings!
March 11, 2019
Survive vs Thrive #authorlife #professorlife
So, a loved one pointed out something to me yesterday and I haven't been able to get it out of my head. I was talking about getting through the rest of this semester and noted that "I just have to survive until the end of it." Their reply: "That's every semester." This conversation went on to point out that honestly, if I keep going this way I'll just survive until I retire...and then maybe until I'm dead. It was meant kindly, if not a little pointedly. The thing is, I need that pointedness to remind me that this life isn't about just getting through, but maybe even thriving a little.
A little context: I am a tenure-track (hopefully to be tenured here in the next month or two) professor where I run two labs, my wing of the department, several large research projects, and the lives of about 10 grad students (and many undergrad interns). To say that my days are insane is an understatement. Many days I find myself sitting in my car on my way to work, crying, and wishing that I could just drive away. Away anywhere. That sounds melodramatic in a stupid way, but it's the truth. What I do for a living takes every last bit of me and leaves me coming home a drained and exhausted shell...who then often is working until late on the couch.
So, yep, surviving is what it feels like. Just let me get through this semester, and then just let me get through my summer research goals. Just let me get tenure. Just let me get through this next big conference. Just let me not let my students down. Just let me not feel like a moron presenting in front of the bigwigs in my field. Just let me not keel over.
I know this is a lot of bitching. I know many people have taxing jobs that demand a lot. And I know I chose this position and technically I could walk away (and do what, I have no idea, because I do love what I do...I just wish it were less). But here I am, staring down my next birthday and wondering how on earth I'm going to get there. How I'm going to even think about thriving.
The crappiest part is that thriving and self-care just feels like another item on my to-do list.
Anyhow, how do I get to a better spot? Hell if I know. I'm still working that bit out. But I do know a few things: it means saying no more. It means telling students that I have office hours and that 'popping by' at any time during the day/night/weekend means they think their time is more valuable than mine. It means being better about my boundaries and telling my institution that they get what they get from me and running me ragged is not worth my pathetic paycheck.
But I do need to be better about remembering to thrive and not just survive. It's not worth it otherwise.
A little context: I am a tenure-track (hopefully to be tenured here in the next month or two) professor where I run two labs, my wing of the department, several large research projects, and the lives of about 10 grad students (and many undergrad interns). To say that my days are insane is an understatement. Many days I find myself sitting in my car on my way to work, crying, and wishing that I could just drive away. Away anywhere. That sounds melodramatic in a stupid way, but it's the truth. What I do for a living takes every last bit of me and leaves me coming home a drained and exhausted shell...who then often is working until late on the couch.So, yep, surviving is what it feels like. Just let me get through this semester, and then just let me get through my summer research goals. Just let me get tenure. Just let me get through this next big conference. Just let me not let my students down. Just let me not feel like a moron presenting in front of the bigwigs in my field. Just let me not keel over.
I know this is a lot of bitching. I know many people have taxing jobs that demand a lot. And I know I chose this position and technically I could walk away (and do what, I have no idea, because I do love what I do...I just wish it were less). But here I am, staring down my next birthday and wondering how on earth I'm going to get there. How I'm going to even think about thriving.
The crappiest part is that thriving and self-care just feels like another item on my to-do list.
Anyhow, how do I get to a better spot? Hell if I know. I'm still working that bit out. But I do know a few things: it means saying no more. It means telling students that I have office hours and that 'popping by' at any time during the day/night/weekend means they think their time is more valuable than mine. It means being better about my boundaries and telling my institution that they get what they get from me and running me ragged is not worth my pathetic paycheck.But I do need to be better about remembering to thrive and not just survive. It's not worth it otherwise.
