Kergan Edwards-Stout's Blog, page 2
September 8, 2020
2020 Next Generation Indie Book Award Finalist!
“Never Turn Your Back on the Tide” has been awarded a finalist in the 2020 Next Generation Indie Book Awards, in the LGBT category! Thank you, Next Generation Indie Book Awards.
September 4, 2020
Check Out the WROTE Podcast!
Thanks to Vance and Baz at WROTE Podcast for the fun interview! It gives some insight into my new memoir, as well as a variety of other topics!
August 25, 2020
Win My New Book!
The nice folks at Erie Gay News are running a contest on my new book, Never Turn Your Back on the Tide! Enter to win a paperback or e-book here! Must enter by Septemer 15!
July 9, 2020
Five Stars: “…a touching and eye-opening read”
Thank you, Readers’ Favorite, for this lovely and thoughtful, 5-star review!
”French author Guy Blaise states that: “The most tolerant people that I know, both in America and in France, are gay...people in same-sex relationships care more for each other at a level that would embarrass heterosexuals.” No books I’ve read give more credibility to those statements than Never Turn Your Back on the Tide by Kergan Edwards-Stout. While it was the sub-title suggesting I’d be reading about a lying, psychopathic wannabe-murderer that caught my attention, it was the emotions experienced by the principal character, Kergan, in this disturbingly beautiful autobiography that really spoke to my humanity.
Without putting a label on it, Kergan knew at a young age that he was gay. He wasn’t unhappy about it, but as he matured, entered the showbiz world, and learned first-hand how many others in all walks of life and at all levels of their businesses and careers were just like him, he also became increasingly aware of the intolerance toward gays. He watched sadly as his closest gay friends succumbed to AIDS, one of whom, Shane, became his partner for several years before dying. It was Kergan’s depiction of this particular relationship that showed how people in same-sex relationships do indeed care more for each other “at a level that would embarrass heterosexuals.”
Unfortunately, the level of caring in Kergan’s next relationship with “Eyes”, the “lying psychopath,” was strictly one-sided. It took years for Kergan to wake up to the truth and by that time, he and Eyes had adopted a son. While the years Kergan spent with, and later, without Eyes, were heartbreaking for him, what a wonderful, caring single father Kergan became to not just one, but two adopted sons who might otherwise not have had any chance of a good life. Never Turn Your Back on the Tide is a touching and eye-opening read. The style is laid-back, easy to follow; the tone is compassionate, sincere, and honest. These are the kinds of books that need to be written...the autobiographies, the memoirs...if ever the world is to better understand and become more tolerant of the differences between each and every one of us. Thanks for writing this wonderful book, Kergan Edwards-Stout.”
May 8, 2020
IndieReviewer: “beguiling…”
I so appreciate when a reviewer truly understands why I write pieces in a certain way. I didn’t want this book to simply be about the bad things that have happened to me, which is what some people encouraged that I do. I wanted to tell a more rounded and nuanced tale, and I’m glad IndieReader “gets” it!
4.5 Stars (out of 5)
Actor/activist Kergan Edwards-Stout is quite the character, and NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON THE TIDE (Or, How I Married a Lying, Psychopathic Wannabe-Murderer and Kinda Lived to Tell) is his charming life story.
NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON THE TIDE (Or, How I Married a Lying, Psychopathic Wannabe-Murderer and Kinda Lived to Tell) is a fascinating hodgepodge of a memoir exploring the life of writer/actor/radical Kergan Edwards-Stout. Luckily the book delves into the author's experiences from being a child of the 1960s onward, rather than dwelling excessively on the one husband (of three) who turned out to be a psychopath...because though Eyes (the psychopath) has been given the honor of being the memoir's title character and hook, of all the colorful occurrences Edwards-Stout has had, the heartthrob who lied, cheated, manipulated, and bore deep undercurrents of violence (as psychopaths are known to do) is the least interesting element.
Much more remarkable is Edwards-Stout's observations of life as a gay man from elementary school forward...his time in Hollywood...his lifetime goal of fatherhood achieved. While there are typical bullies during the schoolyard years, they lead to Edwards-Stout becoming the kind of creative, passionate individual who champions activist causes and a fairer reality for all. And though initially embarking on the process of parenthood as a white man attempting to adopt a black son with a (psychopathic) husband, the reality of remaining a committed, functional, single father once things with the psychopath end is a truly touching look at the ins and outs of endeavoring to juggle healthy, attachment-based parenting in this day and age. "The first year of Mason's birth was magical. I loved being a full-time dad. My bonding time with him is something I will always treasure, and I have Eyes to thank for that." The message: even roads painfully traveled with psychopaths can turn out okay in the end. In sometimes hilarious Hollywood sections from Edwards-Stout's years in the movie business, a good number of names are actually named, whether the incidents being described are positive or not. Want to know what it's like to be the production assistant charged with driving Jennifer Beals and Billy Zane to set, long before they were as famous as they are now? Read this book and find out.
IR Verdict: NEVER TURN YOUR BACK ON THE TIDE (Or, How I Married a Lying, Psychopathic Wannabe-Murderer and Kinda Lived to Tell) by Kergan Edwards-Stout is a beguiling look at the long, lively years of this thoughtful, rainbow-hued advocate for loving male/male relationships, fatherhood, an inclusive society, and pursuing one's creative dreams.
“Illuminating… engrossing… powerful.” Kirkus Reviews
My thanks to Kirkus Reviews for the thoughtful review of Never Turn Your Back on the Tide!
In this memoir, a writer chronicles his experiences during the AIDS crisis and his husband’s double life, revealing multiple affairs.
Edwards-Stout sets the tone of this book by sharing the story of reading his “civil-union” husband’s email in 2001 only to discover that he was planning to leave him for someone else. Readers will expect the sordid tale of this philandering husband, whom the author refers to as “Eyes,” to follow this opening scene. But the audience must wait for further revelations about Eyes. Instead, the author spends the first half of the memoir recounting growing up in Southern California as a gay man in the 1970s and trying to break into acting in Hollywood after dabbling in theater at UCLA. Telling tales of hobnobbing with stars from that period like Loni Anderson, Jennifer Beals, and Darren McGavin, Edwards-Stout also recounts meeting actors like Mariska Hargitay and Jack Black before they became famous. The author later turned into an activist, working for AIDS Project Los Angeles during the height of the health disaster. The chapters about caring for his lover Shane as he died from the disease in 1995 are the most poignant parts of the work. Edwards-Stout peppers his story with various “Life Lessons” he has picked up throughout his journey that also deftly display his sense of humor. For example: “Never underestimate the impact that walking into a gym shower, only to witness a former boss shaving his balls, can have.” The second part of the engrossing memoir finally divulges Eyes’ outrageous indiscretions: multiple affairs that had him switching out his wedding ring as well as fabricating chemotherapy treatments. The author actually offers two illuminating books here: the moving story of being a gay man in Los Angeles during the AIDS catastrophe and the shocking litany of betrayals by his husband, the father of their adopted son.
This powerful work mixes an AIDS account with a history of a spouse’s scandalous behavior.
Midwest Book Review: “Hard-hitting… Compelling...”
A new review for Never Turn Your Back on the Tide is out! From the Midwest Book Review:
Never Turn Your Back on the Tide (Or, How I Married a Lying, Psychopathic Wannabe-Murderer and Kinda Lived to Tell) is a hard-hitting memoir that Kergan Edwards-Stout never thought he'd write. After all—sometimes it's better to "let sleeping dogs lie". Or, is it? In this case, it quickly becomes evident that this is a story that needed to be told not only for the sake of family, survivors, forgiveness and moving on, but as a lesson for others who might recognize themselves in it and learn from its discussion.
Kergan Edwards-Stout and his mate 'Eyes' are California married gay men with a one-and-a-half-year-old adopted son. When Kergan learns his partner was not only involved with another man, but had introduced their child to him, hell begins... and it doesn't release him for years. Before it does, everything will change.
Never Turn Your Back on the Tide is about this particular brand of emotional hell, but it's as much about what contributes to naivety and downfall in the victim as about the modus operandi of his partner. This is just one defining, exceptional facet of the story, along with Kergan's lyrical descriptions: "For every lollipop, there is a sucker. And to understand Eyes, and his success in my deception, you need to understand me. The ultimate sucker."
His search for understanding explores a gay man's evolution, romances, flings, and changing relationship with parents and the world. Graphic sexual encounters pepper this world, along with astute reflections on the search for love and meaning.
The processes of coupling, uncoupling, sorrow over friends deceased, and forming often-mercurial unions before he becomes infatuated with Eyes is covered, along with the evolving deceptions that he realizes when he learns Eyes is not just having an affair, but is deeply involved with and actually wedded to another. And not just one 'another', either.
Another powerful facet to Never Turn Your Back on the Tide is its explicit survey of the process of gaslighting and how it works. Kergan's candid explorations of his feelings, reactions, and conundrums during this process is astute and emotionally revealing: "The daily barrage of lies, attempting to make me feel as it were my own issues which were fueling Eyes’ actions, was tearing me up."
Finally, Kergan goes the extra mile to confront his own personality, needs, and contribution to his situation with a therapist. This adds a further dimension of growth to his story which offers many personal reflections that readers will readily understand: "I used to feel as if I were an alien being, alone in the vast sea of humanity. Wherever I went, I felt this “otherness”, and it wasn’t an easy cloak to wear. I felt alone, even in a large group of people. It seemed that I didn’t laugh as easily as others, or at the same things. I had a different perspective on almost everything, and rarely met anyone with whom I fully connected or felt at ease. I would try my best to fit in, but it never felt genuine. When I was younger, I attributed this other-worldly state to being gay, but as I quickly discovered, I was just as out-of-place in the gay community as in the world at large. And being the odd-man-out is a lonely mantle to carry."
Compelling and graphically candid, whether it be about gay sexual evolution or emotional journeys, Never Turn Your Back on the Tide surveys a powerful series of lessons that are thought-provoking, involving, and revealing. While its likely audience will be gay readers interested in relationships, both sexes will find Kergan's story holds food for thought for anyone who would cultivate kindness and respect, breaking the silence of shame and secrets to contribute nuggets of wisdom to future generations.
- D. Donovan, Senior Reviewer, Midwest Book Review
December 23, 2019
Happy Holidays!
September 11, 2019
#Honor911
April 22, 2019
The First Draft of My Memoir is Finally Complete!
