Sheila Roberts's Blog, page 15

BIRTHDAYS JUST KEEP GETTING BETTER

Two birthday girls posing for the paparazzi. Gorgeous flowers! My birthday brunch ladies. At least that's what I think.  This was the first year since I turned 30 that I didn't throw my annual surprise birthday party for myself. Just didn't have the energy.
But I did find energy to go to a local country-western eatery for burgers and line dancing lessons. And even though I didn't last long on the dance floor, I still had fun being out with friends. One of my dancing pals, Sandy, also had a birthday. She's with me in the top picture. (Sandy's the slender one!) We're modeling the hand knit scarves our friend Cora made for us.
I figured a night out would do it and planned to spend my actual birthday lounging around watching old episodes of House Hunters, but some of my neighbors decided they needed to bring over birthday brunch. I was touched by their thoughtfulness ... and we had so much fun!
Both my kids checked in and my son's girlfriend sent flowers. (She's a keeper.) And one of my Sheila Girls street team sent me chocolate covered strawberries. Wow, what a birthday!
The most wonderful thing of all was simply being able to celebrate the fact that I'm still here. Life is a gift and I'm so grateful to have been given a few more years of it.
So this birthday was filled not only with celebrations but with gratitude. Yes, a very happy birthday for me!
And how about you? How do you like to celebrate your birthday?

KEEPING THE LOVE ALIVE

I think it's a good thing to have one day a year where we celebrate love. Most of us have so many wonderful people in our lives - it's great to have a day when we can honor those relationships.
It's also good to remember all through the year how special those special ones are. And after so many years with my honey Gerhardt I fell somewhat qualified to offer some tips on how to keep the love alive.

Our marriage has had some real ups and downs. Let me tell you, some of those downs have been real downers: coping with having a handicapped child, living through some soap opera adventures, having money struggles and, recently staring down cancer. But we've also had good times: great fun with our kids, our siblings and nephews and nieces, wonderful parents, memorable family gatherings, great times with friends, career success and travel adventures. And through it all we've had each other. This is not to say we've always had a perfect relationship. That's had its ups and downs, too. But we've hung in there and I've got to say that we're closer now than we ever were before. And I think part of what has pulled us together is clinging to each other during those hard times.

Here's what else we've done over the years to stay connected.
Enjoy common interests.
Ever since we got engaged we've played tennis together. He usually beats me but I'm determined to take him down one of these days. We also love to watch movies and mysteries on TV and most weeknights you'll find us smuggled on the couch watching some poor slob get his throat slit. We also go dancing once a week. Manly man that he is my husband took West Coast Swing lessons with me and we are death on the dance floor. He's also picked up a little Waltz and can Cowboy Cha-Cha like nobody's business. And we know 4 whole Tango steps. Our newest adventure is taking up golf which is proving very entertaining as Gerhardt has total Donald Duck meltdowns on the course. This year is going to be one of travel adventures as we hope to visit the set where "The Nine Lives of Christmas" will be filmed this spring. And then, come fall, we'll be off for a winter cruise in Germany. Woohoo!
Keeping your friendship alive by doing things together will also keep the love alive.

Do for each other
Even though I hate getting up early I always make Gerhardt's breakfast before he goes off to teach his college German class. I massage his aching muscles when he's overdone it (and he does the same for me). He's taken me to all my doctor and chemo appointments and waited on me and rubbed my aching joints when I've had bad days. He works part time as my assistant in my writing business and I'm currently editing his first book. We are each others' number one fan.

Remember special days
Like today. If you're broke you don't have to go out to eat. Stay home and feed each other chocolate. You can get small sample boxes for next to nothing at your favorite drugstore or Wallmart. I either get a chocolate rose or fun Valentine socks on my pillow and he always gets a big Hershey's kiss. A massage and a romantic trip to the bedroom after the kids are in bed is free!

Fight nice
When you're upset explain how you feel and what you'd like. Starting sentences with "You never" is not half as effective as "I feel like" or "It would make me so happy if you could"

Always be appreciative
Especially of those household chores your hubby does. Does he like to do a lot of the cooking? Thank him. Compliment him on his culinary skills (and thank you're lucky stars you don't have to be in the kitchen every night!) Does he take out the garbage without asking? Keep the garage organized. Let him know you appreciate it. Thank him when he does something nice. Tell him how much you appreciate him. This is a little like dog training where you're saying, "Good boy," and patting Rover on the head. The positive reinforcement makes Rover much more inclined to be a good dog. :)

Remember to see his good points through a magnifying glass and his flaws from a distance. None of us are perfect and there will always be times when we get upset with each other. Those are the times it's important to remember what you love about your sweetie and remind yourself why you got together in the first place.

Keep the commitment
Yes, there are times when you can't (when abuse is involved), but many of us are tempted to throw in the towel over an accumulation of misunderstandings that have piled up. Go to marriage counseling, try the above suggestions. Don't give up easily on your love. If you can hang in there and work through the hard times you will come out stronger as a couple. We've learned this from first hand experience.


Anyway, those are my thoughts. What do you do to keep the love alive?

FUN IN THE CITY

It was time for my chemo spa day in Seattle and we had one scheduled for earlier than normal so we decided to spend the night in the city and be ready to rock and roll the next morning.
Seattle is such a fun place to hang out and one of the coolest places to stay is the Edgewater Inn. This iconic hotel has been around forever. The Beattles stayed in it when they came to Seattle and fished out of their room. I'd always wanted to stay there so was very excited when we found a Groupon bargain for it. Only problem? I later read the fine print and saw we didn't have a room on the water side. Wah.
But it couldn't hurt to call and ask for an upgrade, right? So I did. No rooms available. Wah again. The helpful Edgewater lady did offer to make a note that we'd like an upgrade and if something came available they'd be happy to move us up in the world. Well, we got to the hotel and low and behold we had been given a complimentary upgrade to the top floor on the water side. Oh, heaven! And it's a good thing it was complimentary. We could never have afforded that four hundred-something dollar room otherwise. Yikes!
What a cool room it was! What a fabulous view of Puget Sound and the Seattle waterfront! What a blessing!
Needless to say, we had a good time. A lovely walk up to Belltown for dinner at a funky restaurant, a fire in the fireplace when we returned to the room. Oh, yes. Life is good.
And what did little Sheila learn from her adventure? Always ask for what you want. What's the worst that can happen? You might hear "No." But you might also hear "Yes."
Make the most out of life and enjoy every minute. And be grateful for every blessing, big and small. Even when you're facing challenges or going through difficult times you can always find that flower growing up through the crack in the cement.
Little Sheila, enjoying the view Gerhardt in the shower. Hon, you have to lose the clothes. A visitor waiting for a handout. Seattle waterfront at night. Is this a lovely city or what?

A PERFECT CHRISTMAS

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love it all - the lights, the fun with friends and family, the decorating, the goodies, the special Christmas services and singing of Christmas carols.
    Most of all, I love getting together with my big, crazy family on Christmas Eve. We play games and sing carols and my big Brother Ben reads the Christmas story from the Bible. My brother Sam always has a special message for the children.
    And the night wouldn't be complete without a game of Ducky Wucky. I've been playing this with the kids for almost twenty years. Just about when I think it's time to retire the game a new generation comes along and wants to play it. This is a silly game which involves players sitting in a circle. One poor schlub is blindfolded and stood in the middle of the circle, then set free to sit on someone's lap. Once seated, he/she says, "Ducky Wucky." The person holding the one who's it must then disguise his/her voice and say, "Quack, quack." If she succeeds in fooling the person who's it the poor Schulb has to try again. Like I said, it's a very silly game, but vastly entertaining listening to the many ways grown men and women can disguise their voices.
    Christmas day we spend with our kids and that, too, is always wonderful. This year my daughter and son-in-law offered to do the holiday dinner so we went to their house and enjoyed turkey with all the trimmings, even home-made crescent rolls. My son-in-law is a fabulous cook!
    Of course, many of you made Christmas a real treat, too. So many of my readers have showered me with gifts: paintings, home-crafted scarves, ceramic candy dishes, mugs, and Christmas ornaments. Wow! I feel quite spoiled. And my darling husband made sure I had goodies to open even though we didn't put up a tree this year. (First time ever. Shocking!) I was happy to still be around to enjoy the diamond earrings he bought me at the Notting Hill Street Fair in London last August. What a blessing to be around to celebrate the joys of the season - something I never want to take for granted!
    I do hope all of you have been enjoying the holidays as much as I have. Wishing you all a happy, healthy New Year!

Love this little ornament sent to us by Debbie, one of my wonderful street team members.

NO MORE BAD HAIR DAYS

Goodbye hair! First of all, I promise the next few months worth of blogs are not all going to be chemo chick stuff. But I thought I would share my hair odyssey since it turned out to be a triumph.
One of the things I dreaded and mourned before it even happened was the loss of my hair. (Not being as brave as so many of you who have rocked the scarves and the bald head.) I don't have good face for bald, let me tell you, and I hated the idea of standing in the shower pulling out clumps of hair. (Not that I had the best hair on the planet mind you. I used to joke that I was having a bad hair life. Still, it was all mine and I've grown rather attached to it over the years.) I decided to get proactive and attack this looming hurdle head on.
So, Tuesday, Gerhardt and I had a date in Seattle with Darla at Hair Options, who does an amazing job of helping women feel good about themselves. I must say it was a little strange walking into a wig shop and being "watched" by all those bewigged mannequin heads looking down on us from the shelves. And at first glance I wasn't sure we were going to find anything that would be a match for me. But lo and behold, we did, and let me tell you, my hair has never looked so good. What a surprise!
And here's the other surprise. I had envisioned myself weeping in the beauty chair as I morphed from hair-covered to bald. It never happened. I did have one moment of "Yuck, is that an ugly sight." But my other half reminded me that hair grows and I was able to shrug it off. (And I must add, it's surprising how quickly a girl can get used to a new look. Now I don't look at my bald head in the bathroom mirror and want to barf.) By the time we left the shop, me with my new head of hair and Gerhardt with his stomach full of chocolate he'd scrounged from that little bowl Darla keeps on the counter, I was feeling downright pretty. What a cool blessing!
The biggest blessing of all though, and the one I'm most thankful for this Thanksgiving, is my husband, who, when I made a comment about being a scary hairless wonder, said, "You're more than your hair." He even observed that I look like the singer Sinead O'Connor. Yeah, right.
How can I not adore this man? He's a true hero! Obviously, a keeper... just like my new wig. :)
A little styling and snipping and you'll never know it's an illusion!

THE GIFT OF FRIENDS

Flowers from friends It's been a while since I've blogged. That's because I've been busy... getting well. Right after our London trip I discovered I had the alien baby growing in me.
    Well, okay, not really. But I did have uterine cancer. Unexpected and unfun. But thanks to modern medicine and the fact that I no longer need my uterus it looks like I'm going to be fine. After some preventive chemo therapy where we will make sure no nasty cells are roaming around loose. Funny how during something like this a girl finds so much to be thankful for. Of course, the top thing would be family. My husband has been my hero, watching over me and going to all my appointments with me, standing guard over me in the hospital. What a great guy! And my family has been there for me, too. God bless my sis-in-law Karen, who made a long drive down the freeway on a rainy day to come see me.
    And my friends. Oh, my gosh, when it comes to friends I'm the richest woman in the world. My pal Jill came out to watch over me my first day home from the hospital so Gerhardt could teach his college English class. My pal Karol brought over a gift basket. Roger and Elizabeth came over with a "chemo starter kit" containing everything from scarves to lotion. My buddy Faith (who lives up to her name) gave me a great book titled "You'll Get Through This" - I highly recommend it to anyone going through a difficult time! My agent and editors all sent flowers and goodies. My buddy Kathy vacuumed for me and pals Theresia and Kimberly came out right after surgery also and made pesto for me so the basil in my garden wouldn't go unused. And buddy Kimberly had a girl party for me to cheer me up right after we got the bad news. Kathleen and my friend Diane came to see me in the hospital and Donna, my friend since high school sent flowers and joked about my "tummy tuck".  My community of writing buddies was amazing. Marie Bostwick had chocolate chip cookies delivered, Debbie Macomber knit me a prayer shawl which I will proudly wear,  my writing group (Susan Wiggs, Anjali Banerjee, Lois Dyer, Elsa Watson, and Kate Breslin) hired a gardener to whip my yard into shape. Extravagant! Doctor-writer Carol Cassella has kept tabs on me to make sure I'm doing okay and children's book genius Suzanne Selfors has checked in several times. So has Alexa Darin. Today I got home from having my port installed to find flowers on my porch from my old friend Lisa and our buddies Casey and Vera.
    Okay, this is beginning to read like an acknowledgement page in a book and you've probably fallen asleep by now. So I'll stop. But I'll never stop being grateful to all the people who have been praying for me and have sent cards and flowers and generally made me feel loved. Thanks to the wonderful readers who have become friends and to my great street team. I think that, like George Bailey in "It's a Wonderful Life" I'm the richest gal in town!
Kathleen harvesting basil Going through hard things is never easy but let me tell you, it's a whole lot easier with the support of good friends.
Theresia the chef in action Loved this cute gift basket from my fabulous agent Paige Wheeler

SWAP PARTY FUN

Here are a few of the goodies on display at the party.     This last weekend the ladies at the beach held their second annual swap party. It was fun simply with the yummy treats and great conversation, but add all kinds of goodies up for grabs to the mix and, well, it got even better.
    So, what, you may be asking, is a swap party? It's simply a bunch of friends getting together and trading things they no longer want or can use. (My something for nothing buddies here in our little lake community have done this with jewelry.) With the ocean gang, it's a case of anything goes and we had everything from jewelry to CD's to wall hangings and candles up for grabs. This picture shows only a few of the things our hostess KJ had on display on various tables set up around her condo.
    How does the swapping work? KJ has a great system involving poker chips. For every item a guest brought she received a poker chip with her name on it. She then was allowed to play her poker chips on any item that caught her interest. In fact, if she really wanted something she could play all her poker chips on it. If more than one guest put chips on an item, then, when it was time to see who got what, our hostess put all the chips in a bag and drew a winner.
    I was very happy because I came away with a lovely picture for my wall, a new purse and a decorative container to keep chip dip cool. Any items no one wanted were collected to be donated to a local charity and sold . Now, how cool is that? A win-win-win situation.
    So, what about that picture you bought and then never hung or that egg tray someone gave your for Christmas? Those CD's you no longer listen to or the scented candle that just isn't your thing? You might want to get together with your friends and neighbors and do some swapping too. Make it potluck and you can swap recipes while you're at it!
    You know what they say, one woman's junk is another woman's treasure.

Two of our ocean blonde cuties, Linda and Elizabeth. "What, oh, what do we want?" One of the goodies I scored, now hanging on my wall. I love this saying!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO FAR TO GET AWAY

I took Gerhardt away this weekend. A four hour afternoon drive put us in beautiful Portland, OR, to celebrate Gerhardt's birthday. We stayed at the fabulous Lion & the Rose bed and breakfast - a beautifully decorated historical mansion near the Rose Quarter. I'd been saving up for this and it was worth every penny!
There's much to do in Portland. Any book lover must go to Powell's Books, one of the biggest book stores in the country. And then there's the Saturday market, where local artisans sell everything from jewelry to homemade soap and wood crafts. (I got a box of little soaps that look like bonbons. So cute!) In the evening we went to the Living Room Theaters, where the chairs are comfy and you can order a pizza to eat while you watch the movie. What a great idea! I don't know why this hasn't caught on in Seattle.
All iood food, good fun, good hubby-wife time. It wasn't a long getaway but it was a perfect getaway.
Where do you go when you want a quick getaway?
This is one of the bedrooms in the place. Ours was a little more masculine since this was for Gerhardt. Darker colors and not so frilly - but still fabulous.
This cool little sitting room was in the turret part of the bedroom. Oh, and did I mention the sheets were the softest things I'd ever slept on. They had info on the company that provides them ... maybe someday when I'm rich. :) Meanwhile, I got to be rich for a weekend and that was plenty!
Look at all the tea selections in the kitchen. This place had the best food! Gerhardt at the Saturday Market. We never let a little rain stop us from having a lot of fun.

Pip, Pip, and Cheerio

I am such an Anglophile! I love England. I fell in love with that wonderful country when I was just a sweet young thing thanks to the novels of wonderful writers such as Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer. So getting to spend two weeks in London was a real treat. And it was made even sweeter by the presence of my two favorite men: my husband and my son, who decided to join us.
    They're not in the picture above because I was at The Orangery at Kensington Palace, doing a girl day with my writing buddy Shirley Marks and her sweet daughter. Fancy china and little tea sandwiches aren't exactly guy fare. And they could have cared less about the costume displays. But we girls sure had fun!
    I did drag the boys to Harrods. I mean, you can't be in London and not check out that amazing store. We did go there for a spot of tea and a piece of cake. "Piece" - a gross exaggeration! Our "pieces" of cake were a disgrace to pieces. For $7.50 pounds (not dollars - which means we spent even more!) I had a yummy little goody that was gorgeous, but I've seen bon-bons bigger than this. It couldn't even qualify as a bite. Sheesh. But, of course, we were there for the experience, which is what I kept reminding the guys. (I think poor Gerhardt is still in sticker shock.) But, sucker that I am, I would go back again.
    We enjoyed seeing Agatha Christie's "Mousetrap" which is the longest running play in history. And no, I can't tell you whodunit because the audience is sworn to secrecy. Well worth going to see though, and the old St. Martins theater is gorgeous.
    Most fun was visiting with the people. We rented rooms in an home in Croyden that had been built in the 1800s and Joseph our host was great fun to visit with. We even had a music night with the boys taking turns playing his guitar. Then there was Sally and the fabulous team at Harlequin UK. I had a lovely time visiting their offices. Everyone was so friendly and enthusiastic. And, my, oh, my, did I fall in love with Richmond. I hear Sting lives there. I didn't run into him though. :)
    I came back with some cute little souvenirs, which I'm slowly giving away on my Facebook page. (So like me there and get in on the fun.)
    And now it's time to get back to work and finish my next book. I love to travel. I brought back plenty of nice memories of sights and people and wonderful times with my men. But it is nice to be home again.
    How about you? Do you love to travel? Where's the one place you'd go if money were no object? I'm thinkin' a ride on the Orient Express!

HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD

Well, one and all, I'm happy to announce that Ambrose the cat from "The Nine Lives of Christmas" may be poised to become a movie star. This book has been optioned for film and right now it's looking like a year from Christmas we'll be watching as Ambrose works hard to keep his 9th life by bringing together a commitment phobic fireman and a shy cat whisperer. Of course, we'll keep you posted.