Remy Richard's Blog, page 2

The Bossman’s Lov-ah/Sex-retaries

Ah, Harlequin Blaze where would I be without you? My first taste of romance novels – and indeed, any novels more serious than the Boxcar Children series—was from the woman who picked my little brother and me up from school every afternoon. She was then, and is now, unmarried and had a backseat full of fast food wrappers and those famous red cover romances.  I would hide them inside of my text books and read them in the car or shove one in my book sack to read in my room at home. I think I was ten or twelve years old. I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t supposed to read them really, but I knew that I was being quite a rebel by doing so.

And I loved the romance of them. Beautiful women in sparkly dresses looked adoringly up at men dressed in tuxes staring off into the distance.  I have long since had my own love affair with Harlequin novels (except for Steeple Hill – I love Jesus and all, but give me a break). In between reading more racy fare like Lori Foster, Lucy Monroe, and Jennifer Crusie, I would always sneak in a Harlequin novel. Not least because they take about twenty minutes to read.  Even less time when they are large print – the only Harlequin books that my local library loans. Do people with perfect sight not need love too? If you cut us, do we not bleed?

If I’m using Harlequin’s to make a blueprint for love, it appears that my best bet is to somehow become the secretary of a handsome and wealthy oil tycoon, advertising guru, real estate mogul, etc. In the Harlequin world, these types of men are thick on the ground. Although half of the time they have inherited family dynasties which they are required to produce an heir for and the other half they have come from nothing and built their fortune by never letting anyone close.

Enter the long-suffering secretary. Some young, beautiful, executive secretary at the age of twenty-five, who has pined over our hero since she started working for him. But she never let it show – no! She has maintained a poised and confident façade while making the hero’s life as comfortable as possible. Why, he’s never even seen her hair styled in any other way than in a no-nonsense bun. This is how we are to excuse the fact that he’s had a caring, wonderful, smart, and competent woman in his face every single day and never noticed her. He hadn’t seen her with her hair down.

So at the beginning of the plot our hero decides that he needs to get married to either a) breed an heir for his dynasty or b) keep the gossip mongers and gold diggers at bay. The best way that he can conceive to do either of these things is to get married to a woman who he respects and desires, but doesn’t love. He decides upon the long-suffering secretary and tells her that it really makes the most sense that they get married. She agrees, realizing it will be much worse for her should she say no and then have to watch him with another woman. Things are terrible, then they are wonderful and conveniently they are already married when they realize they can’t live without each other. And usually this involves a 2nd ring or other piece of jewelry on the part of our hero – Bonus score!

So by this evidence, what’s not to love about the bossman and his sex-retary lover scenario? How do I get in on that? Although nowadays it may be more like the executive assistant and her million dollar lawsuit scenario.

In real life, it takes tremendous dedication and logistical problem-solving skills to be an executive assistant and patience well beyond what little I possess. There is something sexy about the thought though. After all, in addition to being a classic Harlequin theme it’s also a pretty tried and true fantasy for a lot of people.

So what is it that makes it such a popular theme? The idea that the person you’ve been looking for has been right under your nose? The slow change from colleagues to lovers? My money is on the fact that most executives are thought to be alpha males. Large and in charge of their world, right down to their secretary’s. And who doesn’t like the thought of a very large and in charge man in their bedroom? At least occasionally. What do you think makes the boss and his sex-retary such a hot, and classic, read?

The Bossman's Lov-ah/Sex-retaries

Ah, Harlequin Blaze where would I be without you? My first taste of romance novels – and indeed, any novels more serious than the Boxcar Children series—was from the woman who picked my little brother and me up from school every afternoon. She was then, and is now, unmarried and had a backseat full of fast food wrappers and those famous red cover romances.  I would hide them inside of my text books and read them in the car or shove one in my book sack to read in my room at home. I think I was ten or twelve years old. I wasn't sure why I wasn't supposed to read them really, but I knew that I was being quite a rebel by doing so.

And I loved the romance of them. Beautiful women in sparkly dresses looked adoringly up at men dressed in tuxes staring off into the distance.  I have long since had my own love affair with Harlequin novels (except for Steeple Hill – I love Jesus and all, but give me a break). In between reading more racy fare like Lori Foster, Lucy Monroe, and Jennifer Crusie, I would always sneak in a Harlequin novel. Not least because they take about twenty minutes to read.  Even less time when they are large print – the only Harlequin books that my local library loans. Do people with perfect sight not need love too? If you cut us, do we not bleed?

If I'm using Harlequin's to make a blueprint for love, it appears that my best bet is to somehow become the secretary of a handsome and wealthy oil tycoon, advertising guru, real estate mogul, etc. In the Harlequin world, these types of men are thick on the ground. Although half of the time they have inherited family dynasties which they are required to produce an heir for and the other half they have come from nothing and built their fortune by never letting anyone close.

Enter the long-suffering secretary. Some young, beautiful, executive secretary at the age of twenty-five, who has pined over our hero since she started working for him. But she never let it show – no! She has maintained a poised and confident façade while making the hero's life as comfortable as possible. Why, he's never even seen her hair styled in any other way than in a no-nonsense bun. This is how we are to excuse the fact that he's had a caring, wonderful, smart, and competent woman in his face every single day and never noticed her. He hadn't seen her with her hair down.

So at the beginning of the plot our hero decides that he needs to get married to either a) breed an heir for his dynasty or b) keep the gossip mongers and gold diggers at bay. The best way that he can conceive to do either of these things is to get married to a woman who he respects and desires, but doesn't love. He decides upon the long-suffering secretary and tells her that it really makes the most sense that they get married. She agrees, realizing it will be much worse for her should she say no and then have to watch him with another woman. Things are terrible, then they are wonderful and conveniently they are already married when they realize they can't live without each other. And usually this involves a 2nd ring or other piece of jewelry on the part of our hero – Bonus score!

So by this evidence, what's not to love about the bossman and his sex-retary lover scenario? How do I get in on that? Although nowadays it may be more like the executive assistant and her million dollar lawsuit scenario.

In real life, it takes tremendous dedication and logistical problem-solving skills to be an executive assistant and patience well beyond what little I possess. There is something sexy about the thought though. After all, in addition to being a classic Harlequin theme it's also a pretty tried and true fantasy for a lot of people.

So what is it that makes it such a popular theme? The idea that the person you've been looking for has been right under your nose? The slow change from colleagues to lovers? My money is on the fact that most executives are thought to be alpha males. Large and in charge of their world, right down to their secretary's. And who doesn't like the thought of a very large and in charge man in their bedroom? At least occasionally. What do you think makes the boss and his sex-retary such a hot, and classic, read?

The Beginning of the End/Apocalypse Now-ish

Welcome to 2012! Congratulations – you are now less than 365 days away from death if you believe the doomsday skeptics.  I'm required to believe them because my mother is their leader. That's a totally different blog/therapy session though.

According to the most vocal of the doomsdayers the world will be ending on December 21, 2012 because that is when the Mayan calendar ends.  If you want to know more about this, please visit Google to find a more credible source. My only interest in the possible apocalypse at the end of this year stems from one belief:  I'm going to die alone.

That may be a tad dramatic. But I only admit to a tad. I am 26 after all. Fine, 27. God, you're such a stickler.  But if the world is ending in December of this year two things are true:

I'm definitely not going to start my Christmas shopping until December 22. I mean, generic bath salt gifts have no purpose in the post-apocalyptic world.
I've got 12 months to find a man to be my human shield when the zombies come for me.

Oh, did I not mention that it's going to be a zombie apocalypse? Well it is.

As an addendum to #2, I may also need some bottles opened in 2012 which would help the man feel useful if the zombies don't come. I'm trying to be prepared for every eventuality.

So, to this end, I am launching a full scale investigation into relationships. You see, I have a two-fold interest. The first being protection in the coming zombie apocalypse. The second interest being research for my favorite pastime: writing great, steamy, and sometimes (hopefully) funny romance novels and novellas. Dating is a tricky thing these days and people don't meet at USO dances like they used to. It's a complicated, messy business to meet your soul mate. And I want to find out how folks are going about it these days so I can tell those stories. (Because I'm clearly no expert.)

And hey, if I meet someone to be my human shield then we can all live happily ever after. Until the zombies come.