Scott Adams's Blog, page 395

Government Efficiency

I was reading a debate on healthcare in the recent Newsweek. The prominent Democrat supported some sort of national healthcare while the prominent Republican supported more of a free market approach. Most people will probably take sides based on their assumptions about government efficiency versus market efficiency.

An old joke that works as its own punch line goes "I'm from the government and I'm here to help." Most people in this country reflexively believe the government will screw up anything

The Proximity Problem

When I'm walking the dog, and she squats to do her business, I reach into my pocket like a good citizen and take out a plastic poop bag. The bags are slippery and hard to open. The only solution is to lick a finger and give myself enough temporary gripping power to pry it open. The problem with this solution is that I'm licking my finger while thinking of dog crap. This never fails to creep me out.

But I topped it yesterday. I was working out at the gym and felt a powerful thirst. The gym provide

Watch Me Draw

Here's a link to a recent article about me. I thought it was especially well written.

http://www.mercurynews.com/entertainment/ci_12148055

As regular readers know, I lost my voice for several years thanks to a vocal condition called spasmodic dysphonia. I regained my ability to speak thanks to the one surgeon in the world who pioneered a fix for this problem.

I sound terrible on the video because I was drawing and talking at the same time, so you hear me mumbling and searching for the right words.

Profit from Global Warming

How can you make money from this whole global warming thing? I mentioned back in January that I was investing in a water resources portfolio (PHO) under the theory that water would be the next bubble. So far I'm up 9%, but the market is up in general, so that's no big deal. Global warming is predicted to cause massive droughts in some places, so this seems like a good hedge.

But it got me thinking that there must be a way for believers in global warming to profit at the expense of skeptics, assum

It's That One

Yesterday I spent several hours at a photo shoot. The photographer was an award-winning top-of-his-field professional with an almost supernatural sense of visual rightness. At one point he was taking some profile shots of me and I mentioned that I thought I had a "good side" but couldn't remember which one it was. So he had me face left, then right. As soon as I turned right he said, "It's that one." No hesitation. No doubt about it.

I find this to be an inconvenient sort of knowledge. For the re

The Fun Side of Cruelty

I'm in a photo shoot this afternoon for an upcoming article in Wired. No time for a proper blog entry, but my Google Alert just dredged up a Dilbert-related link that made me laugh out loud. It's cruel. It's juvenile. And yet so clever.

http://caps.fool.com/blogs/viewpost.aspx?bpid=187982&t=01001019292467236494

Dennis Kneale interviewed me recently during a satellite media tour that I did for my Dilbert 2.0 book . I like him. But I laughed anyway.

Speaking of my big-ol'-coffee table book, Dilbert 2

Swine Flu Greeting

A spy informs me that one firm is already telling its employees to avoid shaking hands as a way to lower the risks of swine flu. I can see this sort of policy catching on. My informant wonders what sort of greeting should replace the handshake. I'm on it.

There are few times in history when you have a chance to create a new and lasting custom. I say we put our collective minds together and come up with a business greeting that involves no skin-to-skin contact and no exchange of bodily fluids.  I

The Power of Ridiculous Reasons

The human mind is wired to accept ridiculous reasons as if they are legitimate. Studies have shown that people are more likely to agree to a favor if the word "because" is used in the request. It doesn't seem to matter what follows that word. As long as the sentence is in the form of a reason, people accept it as though some actual reason is present. (See the book Influence.)

I've often used this method. I think I've mentioned these uses before, but I will reiterate to set up my larger point.

Guys

Comics That Didn't Work

As regular readers know, I don't generally explain my comics. But I'm going to make two exceptions. I think they deserve it.

My comic on 4-29-09 featured an Elbonian pig that no longer needed to play fetch because of the economic downturn. Huh? That doesn't even make sense, does it?

The intended but failed joke was that in Elbonia their pets are pigs. Thus the pig was practicing his fetching. You see, fetching doesn't come naturally to pigs. They need to practice on their own. But that's not the j

Evolution of Applications

I'm always fascinated when an incremental change to an existing technology creates a new application. For example, you can browse the Internet with your phone, but its usefulness is limited to times when a regular computer isn't handy. Eventually, when your phone's browser speed approaches the speed of your regular computer, you won't bother getting off the couch to check something online. That's like a new application.

I was reminded of this while trying to make choices for the home we're build