Erica Lindquist's Blog, page 11

Depression

from Depression Part Two by Allie Brosh

A lot of authors and artists stereotypically suffer from depression. I don’t know the numbers and can’t be bothered to look up the numbers on this general impression, but fuck the numbers. This isn’t about the numbers. This is about feeling shitty.

As you might have guessed by now, I have been feeling shitty. Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half captured the feeling exactly.��Because Allie does it so well, I won’t even bother trying to explain the feeling for anyone out there who doesn’t already know. Instead, I’ll just point you to her excellent and insightful posts: Adventures in Depression and Depression Part Two.

The important part to convey here is��twofold. First,��I’m in one hell of a funk. I’ve been crying and fighting with Aron at the drop of a hat. Over stupid shit, too. We’ve shelved Lily Quinn for a few days while I figure this out because I’m having a hard time not taking every critique or question as some terrible, duel-worthy personal slight. I’ve been laying on the futon and listening to audiobooks a lot, too, occasionally shouting at the book for using words incorrectly. That’ll show them.

But��second, I’m down but not out. I’m fighting this thing like crazy. I hate feeling like this and there’s shit I want to do, damn it! I’m going to beat this depression��� somehow. Probably with chocolate.

Reblog: What not to say to authors (and what to say instead)

Originally posted by Author Allsorts:

NOTE: I LOVE being an author. I feel like the luckiest THING ever. This post is not a sign of my unhumbleness.

���However, since the wonder of being published, I���ve got one niggle. Whenever I talk to anyone about my books, people say the same things to me. Over and over. There are obviously a lot of myths out there about authors, so I���d thought I���d answer the main ones here, all in one go.

Myth one: Authors are all filthy rich��� like JK Rowling

What not to say: ���Wow, you���re an author? So, where���s your castle then, JK Rowling?���

The reality: Honestly, I���d make more money if I was paid a pound for every time someone brings up JK Rowling when talking to me about my career, then I���d ever make from selling books.

Here is the basic maths���

An average book costs, say, ��7.99.

An average royalty rate for an author is around 7-9% of the cover price.

So, if a book sells at full price, an author can make around 60p.

Oh, yes, and around 15% of that 60p goes to your agent.

And don���t forget Mr Taxman, he���ll be wanting another 20%

So, even if a book sells over 50k copies, an author would only take home around ten grand.

���And most books don���t sell over 50k copies. Most books sell less than two thousand copies.

Authors don���t do it for the money. And not just because WE���D BE FRICKIN��� MAD TO. We do it because we love it and we���re so very lucky to do something we love���but it���s usually not a living. It���s more like a ���hobby with benefits���. And no castles.

What to say instead:�����You���re an author? Golly, do you want me to get this round in then? And, yikes, you look cold. Here���s my jacket.��� *covers shivering author with jacket*

Read the rest >>

A quick update

I won’t keep you long, but I figured at least a couple of you will want to know what we’re up to right now. Well, I’m finishing up the last bit of a personal writing project ��that I expect to wrap up in the next week or so. (In case you’re wondering, I’m novelizing a little Eberron story��that wasn’t enough to build��a game from, but I still liked the idea enough to write it out.) After that, I’ll begin work on the second draft of The Burning Noose. Aron’s working on the last few chapters of draft one, which will be long done by the time I get my slow ass that far.

We’ve also recently finished up the second of three outlines of a 12-book erotica novella series, tentatively named after the protagonist, Lily Quinn. I’m beginning work tonight on that third outline, which includes all of the world details and scene-by-scene breakdowns of each book. That should be done by the end of the month, I hope, which will have it in Aron’s hands for drafting in February. We really don’t know how quickly we’ll be producing Lily Quinn books.

Also of importance, we will not be publishing the Lily Quinn books under our standard Erica Lindquist & Aron Christensen names. Most of our mainstream stuff is pretty clean. (Not everyone agrees, though ��� we’ve had some complaints about the sex scenes. And compliments.) The Lily Quinn books will be something else entirely. If you’re offended by the words “cock” and “pussy,” these are not the��books for you.

That’s why we’ll be publishing then under a different pseudonym:��Natalie & Eric��Severine. (Currently, both Aron and I write under pen names, anyway.) That way, it’ll be a lot harder for our mainstream readers to accidentally end up with something on their ereader that might make their poor eyes bug out.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Our current catalog of books is hardly universally beloved. We’ve got plenty of really painful one-star reviews lying around the internet like caltrops. And erotica isn’t exactly a commonly accepted genre. It’s growing in popularity and acceptance, but it’s hardly standard summer reading yet.

But we’re really excited about Lily Quinn, so screw all that. Wish us luck!

The NAACP bombing in Colorado.The Charlie Hebdo shooting...

The NAACP bombing in Colorado.

The Charlie Hebdo shooting in Paris.

A shooting just down��the street from Aron’s work. They haven’t released her identity, but everyone in his office is crossing their fingers, as that bar is a popular after-work hangout.

It’s a hard day to stay strong. But damn it, we will. For every shitty person out there, there are hundreds more amazing ones. They’re the NAACP. They’re the protesters filling the streets of Paris. They’re the cartoonists filling the internet with free speech and solidarity. They’re my neighbors and friends.

Doing what comes naturally

We encourage people to do what comes naturally to them. Seems like a good enough idea, but while rewatching an episode of My Little Pony (yes, that is correct), I suddenly stared glaring at the screen. And not just because I’ve picked up the nickname Twilight Sparkle among some of my friends. (I own a lot of��books, am obsessively organized, make a lot of speeches and have a tenancy to look shit up in the middle of conversations. Wikipedia is my best friend and friendship is magic.)

In the My Little Pony episode The Show Stoppers, the Cutie Mark Crusaders are doing what they always do ��� trying to find their “special skill” and earn their pony mark of��� what? Adulthood? I’m super confused about the relative age of the main characters in that show. Are they grownups? Adolescents? I have not idea. At any rate, Twilight Sparkle tells the kids the kids to focus on the things they’re already good at in order to find their purpose. When they fail to do so as the episode processes, the Crusaders��butcher their impassioned rock ballad and are openly laughed at on stage. All seems to end well when they win the Best Comedy award, though. As the young ponies depart, Twilight Sparkle chuckles��to herself and notes that someday they will come around.

Nice kids’ show message, right? Look to yourself for the things you already excel at and focus on those to make your mark on the world. (See what I did there? Mark! Get it? Bah, forget it.) But I got really red in the face watching this episode. I usually like MLP’s message. That’s why I watch the show. But this time, I felt��like they got something really wrong.

I love writing. It’s my life. It’s become much of Aron’s life. But while it came naturally enough to him, it didn’t for me. I’m dyslexic as fuck (or lesdysic sa��ckuf in my native tongue). I’m a slow reader. I have a crappy imagination. I nearly failed half of the English classes I ever took. Becoming a writer took ��� and still takes ��� a lot of damned hard work. In school, I was much better at biology and physiology. If I had shied away from writing just because I sucked at it, I wouldn’t be here now.

I think we’re��missing out��if we only encourage people to pursue things they’re already talented at. Sometimes the thing someone��loves isn’t easy, but that makes it no less important. Maybe even more so ��� you have to really believe in the dream that you chase if it doesn’t come easily. When you work for every inch, you know you’ve earned it. You paid for that passion��in blood, sweat and tears.��In my case, the only blood is from paper cuts, but still���

In some ways, I prize every book I finish��all the more because it represents such a hard-won battle. Not a single page came��easily or naturally. I fight for it every day when I sit down to work. I don’t write��as quickly as Aron or other authors. I’m slow and I have to study a lot ��� I read a lot of books on writing and listen to every writing podcast I can get my hands on. It’s taken me years to reach the proficiency level in my writing that many authors manage by the end of their first book.

But do I regret it? Do I feel like I’ve chosen the wrong life path? Fuck no! Well, not often. And everyone agrees that I’d have some sort of pen cutie mark. Because I’m a writer, damn it!

And because, yes, we’ve discussed��what our cutie marks would be.

Day three

I’ve been sick since a little before Christmas and I can’t seem to shake this annoying illness. So, since I finished off The Hangman’s Cross draft three days ago, I’ve been resting. Lots of laying down and napping and drinking orange juice.

Day three without writing and I’m boooooooored. I’m about to explode from boredom. That’s a thing that happens, right?��I’ve listened to books and podcasts, watched movies and shows, but now what? All those��things make me want to do it write.

Speaking of which, Aron and I��watch I, Frankenstein. It was a bland��heap of pasty meh. Not the��train wreck I was expecting, but thoroughly uninspired and underwritten. The idea was solid enough ��� demons descended during their war with gargoyles need soulless human bodies to return to �����but no one worked it into something good. What the hell were these sides fighting over in the first place? Where the fuck are the humans in this city? You know, the ones the gargoyles are supposed to be protecting? Also, there were��a lot of raging fireball and bright light fights being waged in the center of town during this purportedly “secret” war. Haven’t the demons or gargoyles ever head of guns? Maybe with silencers? Especially the demons, who don’t fly like the gargoyles do. I’d ditch the axe and claws in favor of a nice rifle against��those winged fuckers.

The core idea of the movie just��floated there in the middle of the bowl, lost and alone.��I’m not sure what kind of imagery I’m using there, but I’m pretty sure it’s gross. Anyways, I like our Naberius for The Hangman’s Cross better.

I don’t think I’m going to make it till Monday without writing. C’mon, man. Just a little to get me through the weekend? But then again, this weekend is the inaugural game of Aron’s new Avatar (Last Airbender) campaign. Woo! I’ve got a five-legged sky bison. Can’t wait!

I did it!

I finished draft two of The Hangman’s Cross! Happy New Year!

Well, I actually finished it yesterday, but then I was too busy write about it. Not too busy to run around several times making some kind of excited sounds like ducks being electrocuted, though. This feeling never gets old.

Now, the book isn’t done. Actually, The Hangman’s Cross and The Burning Noose are going to take a couple more drafts than usual. Normally, after draft two, it’s time to send our manuscripts out to beta readers. But for these books, we won’t be whining for beta reads until draft four, after both Aron and I will take a full second pass over the manuscript.

It was a ton of fun ��� and work ��� to write up the second Hangman’s Cross draft. This is only our second book where Aron took point, writing out the first draft from the outline we developed together. I loved doing Whisperworld that way, and it’s been just as much fun to do Hangman’s Cross the same way. it’s a much bigger, much more daunting book, but Aron’s bravely soldiered on through almost two entire books now!

He’s��got a few more chapters to write for the first draft of The Burning Noose, then I’ll take it. The third and fourth drafts shouldn’t take nearly as long as number two did, so I’m hoping to have the books out for beta reading in maybe four to six months. Not sure how long until release after that, but we’ll keep you updated!

Time for another excited dance.

2014 in review

Well, 2014 is just about over.��Sometimes it seems like the year vanished while I wasn’t looking.��But then I think back to what we were doing at the beginning of the year and it seems like half a lifetime ago.

This year, we managed to put out three books. There was Hammer of Time��back��in��� what? January?��It was exciting to finally finish off the Reforged Trilogy. Anvil of Tears was our first book ever and it took us a long, long time to get to the end of the story. We learned a lot about writing over the course of 3.5 books. (Yes, 3.5. There’s a short story collection, too.) We made a lot of mistakes ��� hence the lessons ��� and I sometimes didn’t want to finish the series, but I’m really glad we stuck it out. Hammer of Time was a lot of fun and I hope you all enjoyed reading it.

There was also��Aron’s Storytelling Guide Companion, which follows up his RPG Storytelling Guide with more information on the crisis system and making NPCs. It’s taken most of the year, but the readers of the original guide are starting to notice the new companion guide.

And then there was��Whisperworld, which was a wildly successful experiment for us. Maybe not in sales, but in process. For our previous books, I always wrote the first draft. It took forever and I tend to meander in getting to the point.��Whisperworld was the first book that Aron drafted and I came in to coauthor on draft two. Aron’s far more succinct and focused than I am. It was a ton of fun to give him an outline and get back a manuscript. The result was a book with all of��world-building and the sorts of details that I adore working on, but with Aron’s focused pursuit of the plot.

The Whisperworld experiment worked so well that we’ve used the same model to write up the first draft of our next books, The Hangman’s Cross and most of The Burning Noose. Aron’s got just a few chapters to draft for Burning Noose and I’ve got 3 more to do the second pass on for Hangman’s Cross. After that, there will be 2 more drafts, then out to beta readers.��We hope to release both books��sometime in 2015. We’ll keep you updated, though.

Over the last couple of days, Aron and I have also outlined eleven erotica novellas in what we have tentatively called the Lily Quinn series. Expect lots of news about that in 2015. Writing smut will be another big experiment.

This year was also a big landmark in that we finally have our books in a brick-and-mortar bookstore up in our hometown. It’s just one store, but I think all authors delight in seeing their book on a shelf other than their own. Squee!

Wow, it’s been a busy 2014. Bring on 2015.

Pictures and stuff

When I updated the website here, I somehow forgot to post all of Rowena’s amazing Reforged artwork. I’ve since remedied that and put up a gallery page.��Also, look what got spotted at a bookstore up in our hometown!

Merry Christmas

Last night, a combination of illness and weather prevented me from seeing my family for Christmas Eve. Today, a double dose of migraines kept me from spending time with Aron’s family and most of our friends. So I lay at home, drugged out of my skull and lonely, since Aron still went up the hill to see his parents.

Needless to say, I didn’t exactly have the best Christmas ever.

I really hope you all had a way better Christmas.��May you all have safe travels and great times this holiday season.