Michael Kelley's Blog, page 36

God is Our Refuge and Strength

I grew up in the panhandle of Texas, an area that was and still is pretty notorious for the amount and severity of thunderstorms in the area. It was not uncommon during the spring and early summer for us to hear the tornado sirens and head next door to our neighbors’ basement because we needed a refuge. We needed a safe place to go.

I remember some years ago when I was a college pastor, my wife and I were leading a mission trip in eastern Africa and we had driven into the Sahara desert in two four wheel drive pickup trucks. We went out a little further than we should have, and stayed a little longer than we should have, and the desert around us got very dark very quickly. I felt exposed, in danger, and confused, and what I wanted more than anything was a refuge. We needed to find a place of safety.

On a lighter note, I am an introvert. If we are at a party or another event and we have been there for some time, you’ll probably find me eventually migrating to a chair in the corner, or perhaps even spending a little more time in the restroom than I actually need to. Once again, I will be looking for a place of safety.

We all need a refuge, and because we do, Psalm 46 is good news:

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging (Psalm 46:1-3).

This is good news! That we have a place of strength and power to which we can turn. That even when the foundations of reality are shaking there is somewhere we can go to find peace and safety. But it’s also important to note that the very idea of needing a refuge implies a threat. The whole reason we need a safe place to begin with is because someone or something has made it unsafe for us. And for that reason, we must not only think of God as our refuge because of our particular circumstances.

We must also see God as our only refuge… from God.

We might look at Psalm 46 and see God as a stronghold when times are tough. When the money is lean or the health isn’t right. When the relationships are falling away and the future is uncertain. But we must also look at it and recognize that all of us were once under the just judgment of God for our sin. We were destined to go down into Sheol as a consequence for our rebellion. God was against us. We were his enemies. But here, from this viewpoint, we find the shadow of the gospel.

Because when we were enemies of God, God chose to become our refuge. He imposed His judgment upon Himself at the cross. He took His own wrath that we might be safe in His arms. When God was against us, He was also for us. So when we were running from Him, the only place for us to go was to Him.

The punishment of God, on God, has brought us peace. We can turn to Jesus – to God – and find refuge from Him because He loves us.

Wednesday Links

Four links to some things you might have missed, or at least ones that caught my attention this past week:

1. When Technology Harms Discipleship

Because it has. We are now a “broadcast” kind of people to our detriment. There is another way.

2. Why Christian Teens Have an Identity Crisis

When we believe the source of truth is inside of ourselves, crisis is inevitable. And it’s here.

3. You Aren’t a Slave to Sin, Even if You Feel Like One

The center of this article is a really wonderful and vivid illustration. Sin isn’t our master, so we shouldn’t do what it says.

4. The Infinity Stones Can Be Yours… for $25M

Wowsers. Yep. You read that right.

An Illustration to Help Understand God’s Purpose in Creation

We have been parenting for a good while now. And the longer we parent, the more truth I see in all the old adages about being a dad:

Time flies.Blink and it will be over.The days pass slowly but the years pass quickly.

All true. It seems like yesterday when we were expecting our first child. In fact, it seems like yesterday when we were asking the question of when was the right time to actually bring a child into the world. We asked that question to each other and to more experienced couples in a lot of different ways:

“How long should we be married before we have kids?”“What should our bank account look like when we become parents?”“How will we know when we’re ready?”

We asked all those questions and more to people who already had children, and nearly without exception, they laughed at us. They laughed because they knew what we were too young and inexperienced to know:

There is no right time to have a baby.

That’s because no matter when you have a child, your whole life is going to be flipped upside down. Everything will be reordered from your budget to your sleep cycle, and that’s true no matter how long you’ve been married, how much you have in savings, or how many parenting books you’ve read. 

But inasmuch as those couples told us that there was not necessarily a perfect time to have a baby, many of them told us that there were certainly wrong times to have a baby. The wrong time to become a parent is when you believe that having a child will fix something inside you:

A child will help you feel more respected.A child will make you feel needed.A child will repair your broken marriage.

These are the wrong times because in those times, you are laying an unreal and unfair expectation on that child; you are placing a weight on that baby that is far too heavy. Now if that’s true, then the opposite is also true – though you might not be able to name a specific time and date for the right time, the best time is generally when you are so satisfied and content in life that you want that satisfaction and joy to spread into another life. 

New life springs from abundance, not deficiency. And here is maybe a helpful illustration about God’s creation as well.

God did not create the heavens and the earth, including human beings because He was lonely. Or bored. Or to take up space. Or because of any other deficiency in Himself. God has existed, and will exist, from and for all eternity in perfect satisfaction and community with Himself. Father, Son, and Spirit, three in one. Creation came from the abundance of the trinity not to fulfill something lacking in it. And that is very good news for us.

Just as it’s a crushing weight for a child to fulfill some unmet expectations or desire in the lives of his parents, so also would it be crushing if an even heavier weight was laid on the back of humanity. We do not exist to fulfill something lacking in God; we exist because there is NOTHING lacking in God. And that truth makes His invitation to join His eternal life, in Christ, all the more beautiful, because we are invited into that abundance. In Jesus, we too can experience perfect togetherness. We can be with God forever and ever. And until that day, we can live in the secure peace of knowing that we don’t fulfill God’s need. 

Parents, Be Careful What You Affirm in Your Kids

Everybody likes to be complimented; everyone enjoys being affirmed. Of course that’s true – it feels good to be acknowledged and appreciated. For someone to notice. To have the breath of fresh air of affirmation in a world of criticism. But maybe we can go a step farther and say that not only does everyone like to be affirmed; everyone needs to be affirmed.

That is to say, it’s not just nice when someone affirms you; it actually fulfills a very basic and fundamental need deep inside of us. The problem, as with so many other things, is that we seek that affirmation and validation in the wrong places:

From work. From the culture. From Instagram. From wherever we can find it, and unfortunately, most of those affirmations are empty because we are failing to find our affirmation in the right place which is from God. It is a good and right thing to live in such a way so as to hear God say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” It is a destructive, selfish, and sinful way to live to hear those same words primarily from somewhere else. But in the event that we don’t perceive we are receiving affirmation from the right place, we will inevitably look for it elsewhere.

We will do that, and so will our children.

We want our children too to live for the approval of the Lord. But as parents, one of the ways we point our children to that desire is through our commitment to affirmation. We ought to want our kids to know they are our beloved children, that we are proud of them, and to know it in such a way that they can believe the same thing is true from their greater Father. If that is one of our goals as parents, then we must affirm our kids, but we must also be careful about what we affirm in our kids.

That’s because affirmation is like fertilizer. Whatever you put it on tends to grow.

Here’s what I mean:

As parents, we might give our kids all kinds of compliments. We might tell them they are beautiful. Or smart. Or talented. Or responsible. Or whatever. We should affirm them in all these ways and even more, and yet at the same time, we should do so with the knowledge that whatever the main focus of our affirmations is will tend to become the main focus of our kids. Such is the influence and responsibility we have as parents. 

So if we are constantly and only telling our daughters how beautiful they are, then our daughters will begin to see their physical beauty as their main characteristic. If we always and only tell our sons how tough they are, then our sons will begin to see their toughness as their main characteristic. Nothing wrong, of course, with affirming either of those things, and yet we should make sure that the main thing we are affirming in our kids has more to do with their character than their beauty; more to do with who they are than what they are doing. We should trend toward the inside rather than the outside. Because that’s what we want to grow in them.

In this, we truly are affirming the way God affirms – not affirming what the world fixates on, but instead what God sees. We are affirming the heart. And by God’s grace, that is what He will continue to grow in them.

2 Ways to Encourage Our Sport-Playing Kids

As we were driving to a baseball practice not long ago, my son began asking me about my own experience with sports. Because there is a tryout for a team he’s interested in playing on that’s coming up, he wanted to know how I had dealt with being cut when I was younger. I told him that I never had that experience.

His eyes got big and he looked at me the way he used to when he was a little boy, but just for a second, because I had to remind him that the school I went to and the school he is going to were very different.

I didn’t get cut because nobody got cut. The best I can remember, I showed up on the baseball field one day and someone threw me a hat and a uniform. No questions. No tryouts. Just fielding a team. And it’s not that way any more. 

His school is bigger. The competition is greater. And unfortunately, the pressure is larger. When it comes to sports, he is dealing with things I never had to deal with, and part of that is knowing how to respond when, inevitably, something doesn’t go his way on the field.

So how do you encourage a child in that situation? When you really don’t know what it feels like? And even more so, when you see the value in sports, but at the same time, do not want your child to fall into the trap of bowing down and worshiping those sports as so often happens? Perhaps in two ways:

1. Remember what you can’t control.

There are all kinds of factors in sports we cannot control. We cannot control the talent level on the field. We cannot control the attitude or decision-making of a coach. All of this is ultimately completely out of our control. Now why is it important to remember that?

Well, because we as parents must remember what our chief aim is in sports. It’s not to raise great athletes; our chief aim is to raise young men and women who love the Lord and other people and serve Him in all they do. By remembering what we can’t control, then, we are putting ourselves in a position to trust the Lord, even when we don’t understand exactly how He is engineering the circumstances around us. Remembering what we can’t control, then, leads us to actively trust in the Lord. It’s a subtle way of emphasizing that we must:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones” (Prov. 3:5-8).

2. Remember what you can control.

Yes, there are a lot of things out of our control when it comes to sports, but not everything. Some things he can control. Namely, he can always control his effort, and he can always control his attitude.

Here again it’s helpful for us to remember the end game. We are not raising athletes; we are raising people. People who will not play sports forever, but people who will always in every circumstance have the chance to control their effort and their attitude. These are the things that last a lifetime, and, in the grand scheme of things, are actually the most beneficial parts of sports. They teach us to give our best. To be a good teammate. To not give up and persevere when it’s difficult. These are all matters of attitude and effort.

The Bible, too, wants us to remember that in the midst of all the things out of our control, we can still think on that which we do control:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb. 12:1-2).

Attitude and effort. We can always control where we are looking – that’s our attitude. And we can always control how hard we run – that’s our effort. 

How will sports go for our family in the future? Time will tell, but by God’s grace, at least they will go like this: that we will remember what we can’t control, and at the same time, remember what we can.

Wednesday Links

Four links to some things you might have missed, or at least ones that caught my attention this past week:

1. Maturing Toward Childlikeness

I love this idea, and have actually written about it here. This is a great summary as well.

2. How to Graciously Say “No”

We could all learn a lesson here since most of us tend to consistently overburden ourselves by saying “yes” to too many things.

3. A Nobody in One Country, Famous in the Next

What a great story. Makes me think of one of my favorite scenes in The Great Divorce as well.

4. 12 Best Performances in Steven Spielberg Movies

Spielberg is undeniable greatness. This was a neat countdown to revisit some of these movies.

3 Ways We Might Be “Playing God”

“God complex” is not a clinical term. It’s not an official diagnosis that is treatable with various medications and therapies. It does not appear in any medical manuals or diagnostic evaluations. But we all know what it is nevertheless.

If someone has a “God complex” they have a consistently inflated sense of their own abilities, intelligence, and self-importance. But even someone with such inflated ideals doesn’t really think of themselves as God. Or, if they do, they are certifiably insane, because we all know that none of us are God. Even those among us who don’t believe in God know that they aren’t him.

So we don’t really think we are God. But despite that knowledge, there are ways in which we put ourselves in the place of God. Now there are obvious examples of people doing that in the Bible. Think of instances like when King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon setting up a golden statue to be worshiped or later, in the same book, when King Darius issues a decree that for 30 days prayers be made only to him. But there are also less obvious moments when, though we might not think we are God, we nevertheless put ourselves in God’s place and in a subtle way claim the title of deity for ourselves. 

Here are three such times, when we put ourselves in the place of God:

1. When we excuse sin.

There is a desire in everyone to avoid conflict if we can. To live peaceable. To be well-liked and to not stir up trouble and controversy. For the most part, those are good things. In fact, the Bible tells us that this is how we ought to live:

“…make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody” (1 Thes. 4:11-12).

But that desire to live quietly and peaceably goes too far when it comes to excusing sin. When we refuse to acknowledge that sin is actually sin, we aren’t just failing to tell the truth. We are putting ourselves in the place of God, for He is the One who tells us what is sin and what is righteousness. In our effort to live quietly and in our desire for peace, we are setting ourselves up as God as if we have the right to excuse what God has said is not excusable.

2. When we become our main advocate.

We live in a culture that tells us that we must, at all costs, stick up for ourselves. To fight for our own rights. To ensure we get what we are entitled to, and if we don’t, to keep running the issue up flagpole after flagpole until we find someone who can make it right. But consider this – when we become our own chief advocate, we are once again taking the place of God. Because advocating for us is actually not our job; it’s Jesus’s job:

“My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One” (1 John 2:1).

Here again:

“Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them” (Heb. 7:25).

The place of advocate has already been taken on our behalf, and it has been taken by Jesus. When we try and assume that role, we are making the claim that we would do a better job advocating for ourselves than Jesus is doing. Once again, we put ourselves in the place of God.

3. When we try and fix others.

Many of us are geared this way – we see a problem, and we immediately try and jump in and fix it. Because we do, we find ourselves constantly over our heads in other people’s issues, invading places we really ought not to be going because we are not qualified to “fix” anybody else.

We can tell them the truth; we can listen to their perspective; we can point them to God’s Word and help them lean on God’s grace; but we cannot “fix” them. We can’t, but God can. Indeed, this is what He is presently doing in all those who have been called Christians:

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18).

When we take on the burden of fixing other people, we take on a burden we were never meant to carry. God is already bearing it, and though the process is slow and painful, He is moving us all to reflect the image of Jesus. In this way, He is indeed “fixing” us.

Even if we don’t suffer from delusions of grandeur, we might in these ways try and remove God from His throne by doing the things that only He is meant to do. Let us be careful in doing so, and let us also remember the good news that God is doing the job of God just fine on His own.

3 Essentials You Learn in 4 Words

The first lines of great books matter. They matter a lot, in fact. Consider a few examples:

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.
— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby(1925)“There are dragons in the twins’ vegetable garden.”
— Madeleine L’Engle, A Wind in the Door(1973)Ba-room, ba-room, ba-room, baripity, baripity, baripity, baripity—Good.
— Katherine Paterson, Bridge to Terabithia(1977)

Of course, the first few words of a book don’t tell you everything. They don’t even tell you most of the things. There are settings, details, and plot points yet to unfold. But these first lines do unmistakably tell you something. Though they might do so in a variety of ways, the first few words of any book set the table for what is to come. They do so through communicating the tone of the book, and even if it’s just a sense of what’s to come, they help you begin to feel what type of book you are entering into.

That’s also true with the Bible. Consider the first four words of Scripture, perhaps the most famous first words of any book ever written or read…

“In the beginning, God…”

Only four words. And yet those four words communicate some essential details that will carry you all the way through the remainder of the text. Here are three such essentials we learn from the four, short words:

The post originally appeared at thomasnelsonbibles.com. Read the rest here.

Parents, Quality Time is a Function of Quantity Time

Can I share a secret with you?

It’s a secret that you already know if you’re a parent – one that we really all know, and yet we don’t say out loud very often. You ready? From one parent to another?

None of us really know what we’re doing.

Not really. Sometimes we are pretty good at faking it, but in the end, parenting is about faith. Every single day, my wife and I are probably just like you are – you pray, you talk, you decide, and then you second guess whether you’ve made the best decision or not. You have to move forward in faith that God, in His grace, might just take some of these feeble and misguided efforts on behalf of the children we love so much and redeem them in their hearts.

Now that we’ve acknowledged that we don’t know what we’re doing, let me point you to what might be the greatest ally we have in our parenting. It’s not a philosophy; it’s not a workbook; it’s not a psychology degree. Our great ally is time. Because time, when under the influence of the Holy Spirit, bring perspective, wisdom, and even transformation. It happens that way in our own lives, and it works that way in our children’s lives as well. Take, for example, one of the classic passage for parents when it comes to the spiritual development of their children:

Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates (Deut. 6:4-9).

You can pick out a lot of principles from these verses. They clearly emphasize the central place of God’s Word in our homes. They also teach us the importance of repetition in order for our minds to be formed around God’s Word. They further inform our understanding that discipleship in our homes is not just about a single devoted time but instead something that is ongoing throughout our days together. Beyond those principles, though, you see the thread of “time” running through them all.

Repeat them to your children. Talk about them in your home. Talk about them when you walk together. Talk about them in the morning and at night. It’s so obvious that it doesn’t even need to be explicitly stated – that in order to live in a home like this, then we must be spending time together. A lot of it, in fact. This is a very encouraging thing for all of us parents who don’t really know what we’re doing because if we commit ourselves to simply spending time together, then eventually, spiritual moments will present themselves.

To put it another way, quality time is a function of quantity time.

The inverse of the principle is also true – without quantity time there will never be quality time.

Imagine if you will you have a teenage son or daughter. You have grown distant from this child. Over the last few years, work has been hectic. The extra curricular activities have increased. As they have you have spent less and less time together. And I don’t mean “special” time – I mean just plain, old regular time. You haven’t gone for walks. You haven’t watched TV together. You haven’t eaten at the same table. There is always a device, a distance, or a distraction between you. And you hate that as a parent, so you pick out a specific 2 hour time frame on a weekend that you designate as “quality time.” You know what that’s going to be like?

Awkward.

It will be awkward because you are trying to manufacture quality time rather than allowing it to flow from quantity time.

So, parents, be encouraged today if you want to help see your kids grow in Christ. It’s easier than you think. Maybe the first step you need to make isn’t through some pivotal, life-changing experience. Maybe it’s with regular, everyday time together. And when you start putting in the consistent quantity time, the quality time will come along with it.

Wednesday Links

Four links to some things you might have missed, or at least ones that caught my attention this past week:

1. 5 Ways to Pursue Holiness

This seems to be a bit of a neglected topic in the church today, but one we would do well to revisit. Again and again.

2. The Quiet and Crucial Work of Deacons

I love articles like this that remind us that in the kingdom, the definition of greatness of flipped on its head. These people are, as the article says, “giants bowing low.”

3. 3 Ways God Protects His People

Good to remember, especially since we many times fail to praise God for His more “ordinary” means of protection.

4. Light and Magic Trailer

This looks super cool, especially if you enjoy documentary style films.