Michael Kelley's Blog, page 22

Wednesday Links

Four links to some things you might have missed, or at least ones that caught my attention this past week:

1. What You Need More Than Clarity

We tend to gaze at the sky and ask the Lord for some confirmation – to be certain – of some decision or event. But we need faith much more.

2. Three Subtle Parenting Shifts

These are great points – all based on Proverbs 22:6 in training up a child in the way he or she should go.

3. Reconstructing My Faith

With all the talk in recent years of deconstruction, it’s refreshing to read a redemption story like this.

4. Top 10 Moments in Women’s World Cup

I’m not a huge soccer fan, but still enjoyed reading through these.

7 Things the Gospel Says When You Make a Mistake

Everybody makes mistakes. We forget birthdays or anniversaries. We don’t leave ourselves enough time to account for traffic and so we’re late to a meeting. We misread a note from school and don’t show up for a parent meeting. We make mistakes because we’re people.

To be clear, though, there is a difference between “sin” and “mistakes.” While both have consequences and both affect people other than ourselves, one is mainly willful, the other is accidental. One is malicious, the other is more innocent. When we think about the gospel, we primarily think about it in terms of sin. And thank God the gospel has something to say about that – that because of the good news of Jesus Christ, we can be forgiven for our sins. But let’s not sell the gospel short.

If the gospel is really the center of our lives and not some ancillary piece, relegated to Sundays and the occasional heartfelt moment of gratitude of sorrow, then the gospel has something to say about our mistakes as well. And thank God it does. So what might the gospel say to you if you make a mistake today? Here are seven ideas:

1. When you make a mistake, you make an error in judgment or a moment of forgetfulness.

The gospel reminds you that your self-worth is not tied to your ability to perform perfectly.

2. When you make a mistake, you are tempted to hide, blame, or ignore.

The gospel gives you the confidence you need to own up to it and accept responsibility.

3. When you make a mistake, you start to focus on yourself, thinking that the whole world is looking at you.

The gospel reminds you that you are not the center of the universe – Jesus Christ is.

4. When you make a mistake, you find yourself wanting to do anything you can to avoid the potential of failure.

The gospel encourages you to take risks instead of burying your talents in the dirt.

5. When you are around someone who has made a mistake, you can easily slip into judgment in order to make yourself feel better.

The gospel reminds you that you have the responsibility to fulfill the law of Christ by bearing another’s burden.

6. When you make a mistake, you look for ways to redeem yourself in the eyes of your bosses and peers.

The gospel reminds you that you have nothing to prove to anyone since Christ has proven Himself on your behalf.

7. When you make a mistake, you become afraid. Afraid of what people think, afraid of doing something wrong, afraid of the consequences.

The gospel drives out fear with perfect love.

Don’t confine the gospel to one area of life, friends. Embrace its permeating effect, and live all of life in light of the good news of Jesus.

God’s Love and the Porch Llama

Several years ago, I was invited to speak at a retreat being held at an out of the way facility in east Tennessee. Because the retreat didn’t officially begin until Saturday morning, and also because I couldn’t get away until late in the afternoon, I found myself weaving through the hills after dark, and eventually arriving at the facility later than I thought I would.

I couldn’t see too much of what was around me, so I focused on finding my way to the small cottage where I was to stay, went inside, and promptly fell asleep. The next morning, I opened the door to head to breakfast and was confronted immediately with…

A llama.

Right by the front porch.

In retrospect, there was probably a long list of things that wouldn’t have surprised me that morning – things I expected to see. Things like other cottages, campers, maybe a fire ring and certainly some rolling hills, but not a llama. It was out of place. Out of context. Something that didn’t seem to belong where it was. And that’s sort of what John was trying to communicate about God’s love in 1 John 3. Here’s the text in several versions: 

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! (NIV).See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God (ESV).Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God (KJV).

Though it’s translated in different ways (great, what kind, what manner), John wasn’t just communicated the depth and breadth of God’s love with that phrase; he was communicating something about its nature. The phrase, as John wrote it, has a quality of “strangeness” to it. You might translate it as other-worldly. Or bizarre. Or out of place. 

A little like a llama on a porch.

The idea is that this love of God doesn’t fit with its surroundings. It’s something that doesn’t seem to belong. And when we think about our own history with love, that begins to make sense. We are accustomed to love with strings. Love with conditions. Love that comes and goes. Love with limits. But when we come to the love of God we find something completely different.

We don’t find a God who loves “if…” or a God who loves “when…” or a God who loves “as long as…” We find a God who loves because it is His very nature to do so. See with all of those conditional kinds of love, the origin of the feeling that passes for love is the object. As long as the object is deemed worthy, then the love continues. But God’s love is different.

Unlike our own experience with what passes for love around these parts, God’s love finds its origins in Himself. He loves us not because we are particularly lovable; He loves us because He is love. And that is very good news. It’s good news because we know, deep in our hearts, that we are not lovable. Not really. Or at least not permanently. But God never changes. His character is as sure and certain as the very fabric of the universe. This is the source of His love, and because it is, we can rest securely in it.

What manner of love indeed.

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This article originally appeared at thinke.org.

Three Pitfalls of Suffering

Concerning the subject of suffering, CS Lewis famously said, “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

Countless people, including my family and I, would affirm the truth of that statement. Pain opens the door to intimacy with Jesus. It’s through pain we grow, mature, and even find some previously unintended avenues for ministry. These are all examples of redemption – the Lord taking the broken pieces of our lives, crumbled under the weight of a corrupted creation, and creating a mosaic of something beautiful from it.

From a scriptural standpoint, there are numerous places we might point that show us the good that can ultimately come from pain. Take, for example, James 1:2-4:

“Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”

Suffering produces the good of maturity which, according to this verse, is a key to spiritual maturity, which is a good, good thing. Or take another example from 2 Corinthians 1:3-7:

“Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For as the sufferings of Christ overflow to us, so through Christ our comfort also overflows. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation. If we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is experienced in your endurance of the same sufferings that we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that as you share in the sufferings, so you will share in the comfort.”

Suffering creates an avenue for ministry, for we are able to extend the comfort we receive from the Lord to others. This, too, is a good and right after effect of suffering.

These are just two examples of how it’s supposed to work. But like all things, it doesn’t always go that way. In as much pain and suffering can, in the end, have positive and redemptive effects, there are a number of ways that our pain might have negative effects. Though there are many such pitfalls, here are three:

1. Callousness. If you go back and look at the passage above from 2 Corinthians, you can glean that pain in our own lives is meant to soften our hearts toward the pain of others. We can truly sympathize with what they’re walking through; we can shoulder the burden along with them in a very true and honest way. But sometimes we find that instead of making our hearts pliable and soft, our pain actually causes us to have a sense of callousness toward others. We spend so much time looking inward at what’s happening in our own lives that we find we have little interest, emotion, or empathy left to look outside of ourselves.

2. Entitlement. Pain is the great equalizer. In the hospital waiting room, everyone seems to be on equal (albeit it shaky) footing. That’s because all of us live in a world broken by sin, and because we do, none of us are immune from the effects. But when you suffer and suffer greatly, there is sometimes a temptation to think that you have “paid your dues.” You’ve done your time in the prison of pain, and because you have, God owes you some measure of peace and comfort. In a perverted kind of way, your pain becomes your pride, proof of the fact that you have been tested and tried. Having earned that badge, you are now entitled to live above such things.

3. Comparison. Suffering is relative. A scraped knee isn’t going to mean the same thing to a 35-year-old man as it does to a 5-year-old boy; that’s because that man has been though a lot more life than that boy has. That doesn’t mean, however, that a father can’t stoop low and sympathize with a boy. And yet sometimes the ugliness of comparison rears its head even in the midst of our suffering. We walk through a season of pain and then must battle the temptation to look at what others might be going through and compare their struggle to our own. We look with contempt on the suffering of others, bolstered by a sense of our own superiority because, ironically, of something that we did not control and something that caused us so much grief.

How, then, can we recognize these pitfalls and do the thing that none of us wants to do, but all of us will have the opportunity to do, and suffer in a God-glorifying and honorable way? I’m sure there are 3 or 4 good steps to doing so, but mostly, we can look to Jesus.

Jesus, who suffered more than all, and yet even with the knowledge of His own suffering wept at the tomb of His friend. Jesus who emptied Himself and befriended and had compassion on the dregs even when He was the only truly superior One. Jesus who did not compare the suffering of His cross to the suffering of others but instead willingly took it upon Himself for the sake of others. We can look to Jesus and see a Savior who did it the good and right way, and we can be humbled under the weight of His sacrifice and emboldened to feel deeply for others in light of His compassion.

Wednesday Links

Four links to some things you might have missed, or at least ones that caught my attention this past week:

1. Don’t Let Urgent Matters Keep You From Eternal Ones

Urgent matters don’t have to stop the work of the kingdom; indeed, sometimes gospel opportunities are hiding inside the urgency.

2. Self-Denial is More About Looking Up Than Saying “No”

Denying ourselves is fueled not by our resolve, but by seeing and savoring Jesus.

3. Jesus Can’t Wait to See You Either, Tim

I know it’s been a couple of weeks since Tim Keller went to be with the Lord, but this article was beautiful. Full of beautiful truth.

4. How Historically Accurate is Tombstone?

Short answer – I don’t care, because it’s an awesome movie. But still interesting.

A Discouragingly Encouraging Truth for Parents

May, at least in our house, has become the new December. It’s the month when it seems that no matter how hard you try to be organized, to keep your cool, to have a tight reign on the schedule, and to communicate effectively, it all falls apart.

There are end of school celebrations, final exams, kids pining away about the last days of school… it’s always like an unexpected gut punch when we find ourselves stretched too thinly, committed to more things than we can reasonably accomplish, and at the end of our collective ropes.

This year it was multiplied, because for the first time, we had a child actively engaged in the graduation process and everything that it entails. And to pile on, there was the added emotional toll this season of life takes. If you have been through it before, the season when you are about to cut a child loose to live and make decisions on their own, you understand that it comes with a completely new and potentially guilt-inducing set of questions:

Have we done enough?Can he make good and right decisions?Is he spiritually ready for this next phase of life?What’s going to happen to our family dynamic?

All very real questions, but there’s one more that is the most difficult of all both to ask and to try and answer:

Have we failed him?

As parents, we all know that our children are a blessing from the Lord. But like all blessings, there are responsibilities. We are meant to help our children grow in all kinds of ways – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. They have been entrusted to us, and so this last question is really a reflection of that reality.

Have we failed him?

Did we teach him enough? Challenge him enough? Strike the right balance of independence and accountability? Did we provide the right amount of discipline at the right time? Did we communicate the love of God and our own love as well?

Now here’s the discouraging truth with regard to the question.

Have we failed him? Yes. Absolutely we have. We have failed him in both ways we know of, and ways we don’t know of yet. We have absolutely failed him.

Surprisingly, though, this truth is discouragingly encouraging for at least two reasons:

1. First of all, it brings light to our deep fears as parents.

It has been said that sunlight is the best disinfectant, and that is true in this case. There is a great deal of freedom that comes when we actually verbalize not only what it is that we fear, but then actually own up to the uncomfortable truth behind it. It’s not unlike the dynamic of confession:

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed (James 5:16). 

Notice that we are to confess our sins to each other, not so that we can be forgiven, because forgiveness of sin comes from God. No, we are to confess to one another – to bring our sin into the open – so that we might be healed.

Something similar happens with the acknowledgment that we have not been perfect parents. That we have, and will continue to, fail our children despite our best efforts. There is a measure of healing that comes when we begin to acknowledge our failings.

2. Secondly, it reminds us of the best thing we can do.

Should we try our best to protect our children? To provide for them? To teach them and train them in godliness? Absolutely. And yet despite all these things, the reality is that we cannot control what happens in and to our children. Sometimes we think we can – and we even misunderstand certain passages in Scripture to mean we can. Mainly, a verse like this:

Train up children in the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6).

This is not a promise from God; proverbs don’t work like that. They are instead statements of wisdom; they are descriptions of the way life generally works in the way God has set it. They are principles for living wisely. No, here again we are confronted with the reality that despite our best efforts, we cannot engineer our children. The best thing we can do, however, is entrust them to the Lord.

To pray for them. To support them. And to trust that the Lord can continue to use us, as radically imperfect parents that we are, to influence our children toward a life-long love of and service to Jesus.

Yes, parents, we have failed them. Thank God that He never will.

3 Misunderstandings of What it Means to Repent

The word “repent” is a misunderstood one I think. It has a mad, negative connotation toward it. It’s a word that belongs on the sandwich board of the crazy guy on the street corner who threatens the vengeance of God. But like so many commonly used church words, this one has been hijacked by our Christian culture, and its meaning has been infused with inaccuracies.

Nevertheless, it’s an important word – one that the prophets of old and the apostles of new called out to would be followers of the God of Israel and His Son Jesus. It’s important, then, for us to know what the word means. Because whether we want to admit it or not, when we are trying to follow Jesus, we will find ourselves repenting over and over again. I’d propose, then, that we have at least three common misunderstandings about it means to repent:

1. Repentance means stopping.

It actually doesn’t. Of course, there’s some stopping involved, but to repent means to turn. Turning is different than stopping. It’s bigger than stopping. You can stop and still be facing the same direction, sitting motionless. But repenting isn’t just about stopping. It’s not enough to stop. Repentance is about turning, choosing something better than the action you’re doing. It’s about choosing life with Christ over life with anything else. So repentance isn’t about stopping what you’re doing; it’s about valuing Jesus more than what you’re doing. That’s why we turn; not just because old ways are self-destructive, wrong, or immoral; repentance is about how much we value Christ. And how much we believe He’s better than anything else.

2. Repentance is a message of judgment.

It is, of course, some about judgment. This was the focus of many of John the Baptist’s recorded sermons: “Brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Therefore produce fruit consistent with repentance” (Matt. 3:7-8). But if repenting is not just stopping but turning, and if the message of repentance is about ultimately choosing to turn to that which is ultimately satisfying and joyful, then this is nothing less than a message of great love.

When God calls us to repent, He doesn’t do so as a cosmic killjoy; He does so as a Father discontent in His love for His people to see them piddling around with the temporal pleasures of the world. He has something better for us, and in His love, He calls us to turn. That’s why it’s not anger in the voice of God that says “Repent.” It’s love. It’s a voice that says, “You are settling. Don’t you want something better?”

3. Repentance is about willpower.

Like the first two things, repentance is a bit about willpower, but we are mistaken if we think that the willpower is the driving force behind it. It’s not. And thank God it’s not, or we would never truly repent for our willpower is embarrassingly and pitifully weak.

Repentance is about faith. That’s important to note because rarely, if ever, do we feel like repenting. We don’t; we feel like sinning. But in the midst of the temporary pleasure of sin, there is the kernel of faith inside us that chooses to believe that even though we don’t feel it in the moment, life and fellowship with Jesus is better than this.

In faith, then, we turn, painful though the turning may be. And having turned, and then having begun walking in the opposite direction, we find that the feelings do indeed follow.

—

This post originally appeared at thinke.org.

3 Bible Passages to Deal with Fear

“Fear not.”

It’s a refrain that echoes over and over again in the pages of Scripture, a command given by God to His people. He said it to Abram when Abram wondered when he would see his promised heir. He said it to His people as they looked at the odds stacked against them in the Promised Land. He said it to Joshua as he prepared to take the reigns of leadership from Moses. The words echo through the psalms as a means of encouragement during worship. It seems that God is very concerned about fear in His people – specifically, He is concerned with removing it from them. 

To that end, here are three places in His Word that teach us not only to not be afraid, but also help us understand why we should not:

1. Luke 12:6-7

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

The best reason to not be afraid is because God loves you. I think about all the times as a father I’ve cracked the closet door with the light on; all the times I’ve tested smoke alarms so my daughter can know they work; all the times we have fast forwarded through scary movie trailers on television; I have done these things because I love my children. And in my love, I do not want them to be afraid.

I, like any father, am just a shadow of the true Father. My love is woefully inadequate and incomplete compared with His great love. So, if we as sinful fathers, do not want our children to be afraid, how much more must our Heavenly Father? Not only that, but unlike us, our Heavenly Father can do much more than whisper assurances about fear; He can actually and completely guard the hearts and souls of all His children. God has loved us completely and fully in the gospel. And that love drives out our fear.

2. 2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

God does not want us to live in fear; indeed this is part of the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit in our lives. John Newton, the writer of Amazing Grace and a former captain of a slave ship, reflected on this spiritual change God was bringing to him: “I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.”

It is indeed true. God is transforming us, from glory to glory, into the image of Christ. That transformation does not take a physical form (at least not yet), but it does affect every other part of us. In Christ, our tastes are being transformed. So are our desires. Our priorities. Our emotions. And yes, our whole way of thinking. That includes ridding us of fear. As we are being transformed into the image of Christ, our focus is less and less on ourselves and more and more on the greatness of Jesus. It is, then, increasingly difficult to be afraid when our eyes are fixed on Him.

3. Isaiah 41:13

For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you.

It’s true that part of God’s desire for His people to not live in fear is about us. It’s about our well-being, and about our spiritual transformation. But there is another even more important element at play here. That is, God’s own reputation. He commands that we not fear because He is concerned with His own glory.

In this passage, God is promising His presence with us, but if we move down a few verses, we find this in verse 16:

But you will rejoice in the Lord
    and glory in the Holy One of Israel.

So another reason that we should not fear is because of God’s own glory. Stop and think about how our fear reflects on the character of God. What are we saying about Him if we live in a state of fear? We are saying that the God we claim to serve, the One we claim sent His Son to die for us, actually does not love us enough to keep us from ultimate harm. Or we are saying that He is not powerful enough to keep us in Him. Or He is saying that this world with troubles filled can actually undo us, and not just threaten to. The reputation and glory of God is on display through our level of fear.

So fear not, Christian. Fear not, for you do not just have a God who claims to love you, but One who has demonstrated that love at the cross. Let His care, His power, and His glory wash over you and find that fear has a decreasingly small place in your soul.

—

This post originally appeared at thinke.org.

Wednesday Links

Four links to some things you might have missed, or at least ones that caught my attention this past week:

1. Jackie Robinson’s Haven in a Heartless World

It was his Christian faith that sustained him. This is a review of what sounds like a really interesting and worthwhile book.

2. 5 Misconceptions About Heaven and Hell

Lots of misunderstanding out there. It’s good that this article not only spells out the misconceptions but also offers corresponding truth.

3. The Funny Thing About Hope

This article offers some practical things to do when you are struggling with hope, in addition to helping us ground it in God’s character and Word.

4. Biggest Disney Animated Bombs

They all can’t be winners. And there are definitely some losers on this list.

You Don’t Grow Out of God’s Love

Remember when your children were younger?

Remember when you walked into the house after work, or picked them up from school, or even just saw them first thing in the morning? I may be remembering through rose colored glasses, but in my memory there were hugs. Lots of them. Sometimes too many of them. But they were always there – the physical sign of affection from your children. Those days, your kids would throw themselves into your arms with reckless abandon, holding nothing back.

But kids get older, and I’ve noticed that as mine have aged, there is a diminishing amount of these same displays of affection. Getting a hug from a pre-teen or teenager can seem like a chore; there’s a certain awkwardness about it. I suppose that’s the way of things. You start to grow up a little bit and you find that you’re a bit too old, too mature, and too cool for these displays of love and affection.

On my best days I know that this indeed just the natural progression of parenting. On my worst days, though, it feels like my kids are growing out of their love for me and my love for them.

It does make me wonder, though, if we do similar things spiritually – that we tend to grow up out of the love of God. Sure, there were days when we first heard the gospel, were first floored by the realization of the extravagant nature of God’s love for us, but then we start to grow. We start to learn. We involve ourselves in the “deeper” things of theology, relegating the love of God to the days of Vacation Bible School and macaroni art from Sunday school.

But we don’t grow out of God’s love. In fact, as we grow and mature as Christians, we ought to grow more deeply into it. This is what Paul prayed for the church at Ephesus:

I pray that you, being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love, and to know Christ’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God (Eph. 3:18-19).

We are indeed rooted and firmly established in the love of God, for God has not left His love in doubt. No matter what might happen to us or around us circumstantially, God has demonstrated His love for us in that Christ has died. This case is closed.

But the love of God is not only the foundation upon which we built the Christian life; it is the continual experience of the Christian life. We are meant, having been rooted and established in the firm love of God to continue to grow in our knowledge of this love.

This is an amazing thing – so amazing that Paul actually prayed that we would be able to comprehend the length, width, height and depth of God’s love. But that’s the thing about the love of God – just when you think you’ve got a handle on it, you are overwhelmed again and again. You might say, as Paul did, that this love is not the stuff of intellectual pursuit, but instead of experience. This is knowing God’s love that surpasses knowledge.

I wonder today if I have begun to grow out of this. Have I begun to think of myself as too mature, too educated, too “spiritual” to once again experience this unbridled sense of the love of God. I hope not, for me and for you. Let us, then, be careful as we move further into the faith that we don’t grow out of that which we are meant to push further into.