Denise DeSio's Blog, page 3

Listen to Kelly Hitchcock – Author of The Redheaded Stepchild

I was fortunate enough to get an interview and a live reading from The Redheaded Stepchild directly from the author. Please leave questions and comments for Kelly below.

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How to Write and Respond to a Bad Review

When looking for a book on Amazon I use the reviews to help me make a decision. I sample the lowest ratings first, throw out the ones that contain some variation of “I hated this book, the ending was too sad, I would never be friends with that character, and focus on the reviews that contain literate, constructive criticism rather than a subjective emotional response.

Today I ran across a great example of a well-written, bad review, and the amazing response from the author. I was so impressed...

How to Stay Authentic in Author Groups

In my last blog post I talked about the pitfalls of membership in cross-promotional author collectives. This week I’d like to talk about using author groups in a way that won’t bankrupt your integrity.

1. ALWAYS read the free sample of an author’s work before you recommend it.

2. Build relationships with authors whose writing you admire. If there are 300 authors in the group, start sampling the ones who write in a genre you enjoy. If you can’t stop turning pages, tweet it like crazy, offer to read and review their books, invite them to guest post on your blog, then cross your fingers and hope they feel the same about your work. If so, these people will form your core group of supporters. Promote them regularly. Drop their names in forums you belong to, pass them on to bloggers, re-tweet their tweets. Let them know you have their back.

2. Don’t waste your time on authors whose free samples are full of typos, bad grammar, and poor technique. Close the window as fast as you can and move on to the next one. Life is too short to read crap, never mind recommending it to your friends.

3. Although you don’t want to read crap, you do want to support an author with potential. I define potential as my ability to rate sample chapters a solid three stars, which means there’s a lot to like but the author could benefit from some coaching. Always give honest, constructive criticism layered into your appreciation for their strengths. Authors hunger for great reviews but they also appreciate feedback that will make their work better. Don’t be a jackass and trash a book and its rating for trashing’s sake. As an author, if I can’t give a book a solid 3 stars, I don’t review it at all.

4. When a fellow author loves and promotes your book and wants you to reciprocate, read the sample. If you love it or see potential, act accordingly. If you hate it, bow out as tactfully as you can. Staying true to yourself won’t make you wildly popular with some members of your group, but going out of your way to support the work you truly love will gain you a loyal group of colleagues who won’t forget about you after a single tweet, tag, and like.

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Breaking the Silence

Now that I’m a published author, I’ve stumbled upon a secret society: the cross-promotional author collective. Any author, regardless of literacy, could join any number of warm, fuzzy clubs to mutually stroke each other’s egos, exchange rave reviews (sometimes without even reading the book), tag each other’s books on Amazon, like them on Facebook, host each other on blog tours, even compose our own hyperbolic promotional tweets (“…a real page turner!” “…stayed up all night reading!”) and post them to a special thread for other members to copy and paste to Twitter.

Apparently, scores of burgeoning authors have no trouble promoting anything and anyone for mutual marketing purposes. But is it a good idea for authors to publicly endorse badly written, poorly edited work under the guise of support? Is it really worth our time? Does the indiscriminate promotion of questionable writers result in more book sales for anyone? How do our recommendations affect our credibility? How long will it take for our Facebook and Twitter followers to discount our opinions and ignore our posts?

On the other hand, it’s a tough market out there. Trying to promote our own books makes us pariahs in reader forums. Even friends and family get tired of listening to us talk about “the book, the book, the book!” Giving away books for free is the not always the best business decision. How do we get noticed without support? Is there a better way? What do you think?

Stay tuned for my next blog post for more.

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WAKEUP CALL

This is not another article complaining about homophobia in America. This is not another plea for us to lobby for human rights, write our congressional leaders, or combat the religious right. This is a wake-up call, to take a good hard look at our own community and acknowledge the ways in which we sabotage ourselves.

I am a lesbian. I spend a lot of time communicating with other lesbians, both over the Internet and in person. In the process of exchanging information and ideas I have come to the sad conclusion that we, as a group, are bound by fear, shame, and apathy. Too many of us are not indignant at the lack of justice toward the gay and lesbian community in this country; we are not interested in changing our lives, even if it’s for the better. Our principal goal is to try not to draw attention to ourselves. When we gather in numbers, we do not use the opportunity to form a cohesive infrastructure of power. Instead, most of us would rather party among ourselves and return to our don’t-ask don’t-tell lives.

We are in the closet to varying degrees and most are satisfied to be there. We make statements like, “it’s just a small part of who I am, I don’t tell people my salary either,” and the ever-popular “it’s none of anyone’s business.” When challenged, we become extremely belligerent and will fight for the “right” to remain oppressed. “You cannot force me to be out,” we say, “it’s my choice.”

Yes, it is, but the question is: Why? Why do we choose to live in fear and not freedom? Why do we suppress, instead of celebrate our lives? Why do we censor our speech, deny our lovers, and disown our passion? Why are we satisfied to have superficial relationships with our parents, our children, our friends, and neighbors?  Why are we so full of shame and guilt that we willingly forfeit our basic human rights? Why do we shake our heads, click our tongues and use the word “radical” at those who are visible and vocal.

For every lesbian who lives authentically and consciously on the front line, thousands more lurk in the closet, and denounce indiscreet, banner-wavers. We believe that this attitude keeps us safe, but like a cancer, it destroys us individually from the inside, and collectively works against those of us who are unafraid to be visible. Does no one wonder why, when there are so many of us, freedom does not come faster? It’s time to WAKE UP!

It is impossible for mainstream society to dismiss us without our cooperation and collusion. They count on our fear to keep us oppressed. They count on our shame to silence us. They count on our apathy to put people like George Bush and (could you just imagine) Mitt Romney in office.

Without building a true sense of pride inside the gay and lesbian community, society will successfully continue to use their most powerful weapon against us. And that weapon is US. We are our own worst enemy. We must develop enough courage and self-esteem to stand up and refuse to be a pawn in the game. Those of us, who have somehow managed to escape this bondage, need to become activists, turn our sites inward and work our local LGBT communities furiously to raise the collective consciousness and dispel homophobia where it is most pernicious.

Of course we must be ever-vigilant in combating the religious right, which actively strives to erase the slightest bit of progress we make, but writing letters and making phone calls to mainstream institutions to beg for our rights will never be enough. We must face the awful truth that without strong individual participation, we will be baited and switched to death without ever attaining federally mandated equality.

It must be universally acknowledged that LGBT Pride is not a flag that we dust off and wave at our annual Pride March. Pride is a state of being, a matter of self-esteem, a sense of entitlement, an inner voice that tells us we’re good enough. The stronger it gets, the more powerful it becomes — powerful enough to quell our fear, conquer our shame, and express ourselves fully and joyously as whole human beings. Only when we accomplish that, is it possible for real change to occur.

Denise DeSio -Author of Rose’s Will, a novel about one woman who refused to be stuffed into a closet.

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Healing From Child Abuse

Today, I’m happy to introduce Life Coach and Child Advocate, Mary Romero, Author of THE BREAKDOWN OF AN ALL-AMERICAN FAMILY. She caught my attention in an author’s forum as a kindred spirit whose book exposes her abusive family.

DD: Welcome to my blog, Mary.

MR: Thank you, Denise, for reaching out to me.

DD: I know from personal experience how hard it is to write autobiographical material. Your book, THE BREAKDOWN OF AN ALL-AMERICAN FAMILY, deals directly with the child abuse you suffered in your family. How difficult was it to write?

MR: I had been working on my autobiography for a very long time and finally decided to finish it at a time when most of my children were grown. As I got deeper into the process, some repressed memories came to the forefront and those were the times I had the most difficulty with. I knew myself well enough that I had to walk away from the writing for a while, deal with the memory and all the emotions that came with it. Only in this way was I able to come back to the writing to tell my story in order to help others.

DD: Your life has inspired your life’s work. Tell us about that.

MR: Well, Denise, I can remember making a promise to myself at a very young age…that I would never forget what it felt like to be young. As I grew into adulthood, I found myself consistently being drawn to people or, situations that would test my strength of character and conviction. My life just seemed to take on a natural progression towards helping others as this is where I felt most at ease and most fulfilled. Not only was I especially drawn to but, conversely, children and young adolescents were drawn to me. Having the ability to relate to so many of them due to the abuse and domestic violence seemed to be the invisible magnet. One of the most fulfilling jobs I had was working as a senior juvenile corrections officer in an all-male facility. Like any other human being, treating these young people who have gone down the wrong path with respect and dignity can go a long way in their rehabilitation.

DD: You and your sister work together as adults. How far apart in age are you, and how similar are your memories from childhood? How do you coach siblings with very different experiences?

MR: Yes, Denise, my sister and I are colleagues in that we are both Life Coaches. We are 11 months apart in age and she is older than I. I had to make that clear…(Lol) Our memories from childhood are very, very similar. Some are different as we, obviously, are different children and we did have different experiences. What was actually fascinating in writing this book was, when I would recall a memory and may have been stuck on a small detail, my sister would be able to fill it in. Kind of like the piece to a puzzle that had been missing. There were also some experiences that were very different and this was helpful too as it allowed for a completely different perspective.

In coaching siblings with very different experiences, we have yet to come across that bridge, although it would be a wonderfully welcome challenge. In my opinion, it would not pose any particular difficulty as everyone has their own unique qualities, personalities, gifts, and experiences. Perspective is going to vary depending on those things. People have their own stories to tell and it is up to them what it is they would like to gain or, let go of, from their stories.

DD: What makes your book different from all the other autobiographical stories of abuse? How do we get a copy?

MR: One major factor is that my main abuser is still alive today and still trying to contaminate my world with what my sister and I have dubbed his ‘poison pen letters’. In fact, I received one just last week and sent it back, “Return to Sender”. It is important for those who have been victims of child abuse, molestation, domestic violence, and other abuses that I mention in my book, to know that what happened to them is not their fault. I do not only speak to the victims in my book but, I also speak to the abusers on behalf of the victims. I speak to the parents of victims and any parent who thinks their child may be a victim. I speak not just from Mary as an adult but, also from Mary as a child. Victims need to realize there is a difference. They can move forward by giving love to the child who never received it by the adult who is now able to give it….themselves. By doing this, they are empowering both their ‘child-self’ as well as their ‘adult-self’.

Presently, my book can be purchased from my website: http://www.wix.com/mmmcconnell/live-l... or on Ebay by just typing in the title of the book, “The Breakdown of an All-American Family.” I am working on making my book available in ebook format within the next few weeks.

Let me just say in closing that I am deeply honored that you have taken the time to interview me as, ultimately, you are helping bring more awareness to the many victims out there whose voices still wait to be heard. My goal is to be one large voice through my book for those victims.

DD: You’re very welcome, Mary. I believe in the work you’re doing and I love to help other authors. I just want to add that many of us, with abusive childhoods that don’t involve sexual abuse, are encouraged to believe that “it wasn’t that bad” or our parents were “just strict.” That kind of attitude invalidates our experiences and most often prevents us from getting the help we need to be happier adults and better parents. So I encourage those who have had verbally, physically, or emotionally abusive parents to consider reading Mary’s book. Abuse, in all its forms takes a silent toll.

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Downsizing

Now that I viscerally understand that publishing a five-star book will not make me rich (I still refuse to believe that I don’t have a shot at being famous), Carol and I have come to terms with the fact that it’s time to downsize from our big house in North Phoenix, to a smaller one in South Phoenix.

The word down in downsizing has such negative connotations. Down means less, lower, depressed. Then there’s breakdown, lock-down, meltdown, knockdown, rundown showdown, and letdown, not to mention downcast, downfall, downhearted, downgrade, downtrodden, and what goes up must come down. Buying a smaller house means a fond farewell to our huge combined collection of cassette and VHS tapes, a wall of books I haven’t read since college, six boxes of 25-year-old classroom paraphernalia, clothes that will fit me someday (if I ever get a terminal wasting disease), a drawer full of gifts that are so unwanted I can’t even bring myself to re-gift them, and an extra closet full of bed linens that have seen eighty times more sex than I have now.

There is a part of me that will miss being wrapped in the comfort of my past, but I must admit that there is a certain amount of liberation that goes with the release of material things. Goodbye and good riddance to the pool, for instance, a bittersweet parting with the beautiful landscaping that I’ve tended – to the point of heatstroke, and au revoir to you, stuffed Easter Bunny Candy Holder with motion detector. From now on, I will visit you at Dott’s house!

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Rose’s Will Wins Award!

Lesbian Fiction Readers' Choice Award for Favorite General Fiction goes to Rose's Will

 

Thanks to the wonderful people who voted for me!  I was also one of the top 5 in Favorite Lesbian Writer! Yay!!!

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Interview With Elizabeth Guizzetti, Author of “Other Systems”

Today I have the pleasure of interviewing a fellow author discovered by my publisher, 48fourteen.com. I just finished reading her Sci-Fi epic, Other Systems, a review of which I posted on Goodreads.com.

Welcome, Beth. As you know, I’m more of a Wi-Fi than a Sci-Fi kind of girl, but I did get hooked into Abby’s character pretty early on, not to mention the amazing illustrations. Did you create them?

Yep, and thanks for the compliment. I’m really proud of them. The original cover was just text. It was a happy accident that Juanita (the publisher) saw some artwork that I did for the Other Systems website and a poster I made for the conventions. and wanted to include them in the book. So, I did a few others, which we used for the act breaks, and then I did the new cover.

Some of the scientific facts in the book went right over my head. How long did it take to research everything?

Three months. I saw this really neat documentary about colonizing Mars that said because of gene therapy, within a few generations, people born on Mars would not consider themselves Earthlings. They might not even be able to live on Earth. The same concept is in the novel Moon is a Harsh Mistress. I knew I wanted time dialation to play a pivotal role. As for the rest of it, I liked playing species/ship/tech designer–something I also do in my comics.

The promise of peace, abundance, and non-violence that leads Abby and her siblings to the spaceship turns dark pretty quickly. Talk about that decision.

While the fleet of transport ships did not set out to take slaves, Abby’s journey from Earth to Kipos took just under a century. By the time they got there, the leading generation had grown up thinking Homo sapiens might destroy their culture if they were not controlled. We can look into our own history at what happens when we do not look at other people as human beings, and instead see them as the “other” or “savages.”

Ohhh, I didn’t quite get that. Thanks for clearing it up. Still, some might accuse you of being too dark in some of the scenes that follow.

When writing the basic outline for Other Systems, I started with grandiose ideas and then realized a huge story about a changing society was just not very interesting to write. As I tightened my ideas, I chose to follow two families while focusing on a single young woman’s journey as she is considered a “savage.” I also tried to point out that there were other “others” on Kipos long before the Earth missions with the strict reproduction laws which sterilized the Alekos family and forced many to flee into exile.

Something that struck me about Other Systems was its lack of any real heroes and the large importance you placed on following one’s passion above all else. Did you do that intentionally?

I don’t know if I did it intentionally, but I do believe it. Of course, it’s a very American or at least First World ideal, to follow your passion above all, but I do think independence and personal freedom would be something that private space explorers would hold dear.

As for the lack of heroes, I love the flawed character. Like many science fiction fans of my generation, I grew up on Star Wars. Who is more beloved between Luke Skywalker and Han Solo? Everyone I knew wanted to be Han Solo (and yeah he shot first!) Some of my other favorite characters include Malcolm Reynolds and the entire crew of Firefly, Q (StarTrek TNG, DS9 & Voyager) Starbuck from both the original and the remakes of Battlestar Galactica. I just find these people more interesting then their ideal heroic counterparts.

That being said, while Cole, Harden, and the others are not heroes, they do have a moral code. They try to live by it. Sometimes they succeed, sometimes they don’t.

Abby’s relationship with Rover, the bot, was endearing and your thoughts on sentience seemed to draw a line in the sand about what constitutes humanity. Talk about that.

Because I am an American of my generation: I believe in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all humans regardless of color or gender. I also believe in religious freedom and freedom of speech. Even if my intention is not to influence, some of that does naturally come though in my writing.

As we evolve or travel to other planets, we may need to expand the definition of “human” or “person” to include some animal or alien species and artificial intelligence. I believe that if it has sentience it should have the same rights as everyone else. Of course, it is easy for me to say that right now when Earth has only one known sentient species. When our robot overlords start taking over, I might change my tune.

Well, thanks for visiting my blog, Beth, and good luck with the release of Other Systems!

All you Sci-Fi fans out there, CLICK HERE to read the first few chapters of Other Systems for free! Or just buy it. For only $4.99, you’ll get over 500 pages of other-worldly stuff. It’s a bargain at a penny a page!

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Kathy Reinhart, author of Lily White Lies

A big welcome to Kathy! Even though I don’t read romance novels, I got sucked in a little by Lily White Lies. In the beginning of the book, Reinhart captures the very essence of what sex is like when you’re ready to bail out of a relationship. Hilarious! Read the excerpt on the next page of this post!

Blurb: Meg Embry has finally faced up to the fact that the shine has worn off her engagement ring, her family members are the equivalent of comfortable strangers and her dreams are running faster than she is. Change is imminent, but where does she begin? With the support of her two closest friends, one who’ll make her laugh and one who’ll let her cry, Meg faces life head on and learns that sometimes, love, family and betrayal are bound together by lily white lies.

Excerpt:  I wasn’t in the mood when he slid his hand up my nightie but I was even less in the mood to argue. I could convince myself to tolerate the ten minutes of faking interest and pleasure. It was the two or three minutes afterward, several minutes of what seemed an eternity that I found almost intolerable, as I waited for him to roll off me.

Those few minutes evoked an emotion I couldn’t understand, much less label. Wavering between disgust and surrender, it was the most pervasive feeling of despair. It reminded me of late Uncle Maury and the mole on his left cheek. Looking back, I don’t think the mole bothered me as much as the one, wiry, black hair that protruded from its spongy core. The urge to rip it out mixed with the urge to throw up—knowing I could do neither. Each time he’d say, ‘Come here and give your uncle a kiss’, I would close my eyes in defeat and obediently do as I’d been asked, my stomach turning in time with the heartbeat that pounded in my throat. Now, I lay underneath two-hundred-pounds of sweaty flesh, struggling with those same feelings, the ones I had closed my eyes to hide twenty years ago. The spoken, ‘I love you,’ that I once used to conclude our lovemaking was now replaced with the unspoken, ‘Get off me!’

“Damn baby, that was good.” His words came with exertion.

Not the least bit interested whether his remark was an observation or a compliment, I replied, “How about letting me up.”

As if he didn’t realize he was still lying on top of me, he mumbled something I didn’t catch and rolled toward his left, pinning my hair between his arm and the mattress. Wincing, I grabbed it to keep it from pulling tighter as he slid further away from me. He made a half notion to look in my direction. “Sorry baby, I didn’t mean to pull your hair. Maybe you should think about getting it cut. I mean… it would be a lot easier to take care of.” He added, “It’d probably be kind of cute on you, too.”

“No!” Mentally drained as I was, I could only offer a one-word challenge.

“Hey, it was just a thought.” Smooth as silk, a deep shade of brown bordering on black, a color my grandmother called molasses, I always saw my hair as my one and only pretty feature. Without it, I probably would have drowned in my own insecurities as a teenager, when everyone else seemed to be more popular than I was and have more dates than I did. My legs felt like tree trunks as I swung them over the side of the bed. “Would you bring me a glass of water on your way back?” A nod was all I could muster. We weren’t married yet, but somehow we had already fallen into married life re-runs.

About the author:

Kathy Reinhart, restauranteur turned author of 3 novels, including the award-winning ‘Lily White Lies’ lives in southern Pennsylvania where aside from writing, she enjoys interacting with other authors on her blog ‘Ink Drop Interviews’, cooking, horses, travel, but most of all, spending time with her granddaughters, Joonie & the Little One.

Learn more about Kathy here:

Blog: www.inkdropinterviews.com

Website: www.kathyreinhart.com

Twitter: @kathyreinhart

Purchase: Kindle or Paperback

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