Magda M. Olchawska's Blog, page 5

What Is Your Relationship With Stuff?

I still keep clothes from my crazy 20’s only because they remind me of some fun and important adventures. I’m attached to those items because I loved these experiences so much that just thinking about having to let go of those things is too painful. Emotional attachment to stuff is real and can be very powerful, especially if it replaces our connection with others or begins to control our decisions, affecting our everyday life.

I’m a firm believer in moderation in life; there is nothing wrong with collecting a little bit of stuff that has emotional significance. However, emotional buying can only recreate the temporary happiness and peace of mind. If purchasing gets out of hand, clutter creeps in, introducing brain fog, confusion and inability to think creatively.

For example, for years I had my son’s kindergarten art displayed in our living room. A few weeks ago I decided to put it away because it was becoming too dusty, at least that was my excuse to deal with that. The moment I tidied up that part of the living room, it “magically” became brighter and somehow lighter. Now, when I look at that spot, I see clarity, while before it was just unnecessarily busy, adding to my brain clutter.

Photo by Luca Laurence on Unsplash

As much as I wanted to hold on to my growing son’s early childhood, I needed to make room for growing and changing teenage M. That physical de-cluttering gave me the clarity of mind I needed to accommodate and hold space for his growing needs.

Every time I go to my mum’s house for the summer, I obsessively and systematically try to de-clutter her home. However, only recently, I noticed her strong emotional attachment to all that stuff. I realized that holding on to all those items had nothing to do with the material possessions but with feelings and emotions those objects evoked in her.

When I asked my mum, whether I could dispose of old beauty products, some of which was when my sister and I were in high school, I saw a sadness in her eyes for a brief moment. In her eyes/mind, I was disposing of her memories, trumpeting all over her emotions attached to those beauty products from the past. She had a lot of herself invested in all those things without even realizing that.

In the world of clever marketers and advertising executives, whose only objective is to sell more and more crap, the human need for happiness and connection is highly exploited. The forever evolving adverts scream at us: You Need That, You Are Not Enough Without… To Be Part of the Club, You Need…

So, people easily get attached to what they buy, hoping that miraculously their lives will turn around and suddenly they will belong, find their tribe and their people. People invest a lot of financial and emotional resources during the process of buying. But owning objects hardly ever bring happiness.

As a society, we have known for years that buying more isn’t the way to solve our emotional needs. But we still do it and are easily manipulated into thinking that our belongings represent the class we aspire to belong to or the level of happiness we experience.

Objects should never replace memories and daily human connection, regardless of how much the marketers try to convince us they would or could.

Stuff is just stuff; it cannot make us happy or enough. Useful and practical things can make our lives easier but not happier. They can also make our lives cluttered, which leads to unhappiness and incapability of taking charge of our lives.

Since 2021 is the year of de-cluttering and the year of sustainable change, I decided that from now on, until the rest of my life I buy everything long-lasting. Before every major purchase, I’ll ask myself the following questions:

How long do I intend to use it for? — If the answer is “just once” I won’t buy it.

Do I really need it? — Giving myself a day or a week to decide will allow me to see if this new thing will make my life easier or positively contribute to my life.

How does the price reflect the quality? — From my experience, if something is too cheap, the quality is not high. There is a reason something costs £1 instead of £10. The positive side of being a consumer, spotting differences in quality become like second nature over time.

Is it recyclable and sustainable? — Will I be able to recycle the packages or dispose of the item if it breaks down or somehow falls apart? Or possibly will I be able to fix it?

I hate buying anything that lasts a season or less. Once I dispose of it, I know that it will end up in a dumpster somewhere around the world. Hence I know that my shopping decisions need to be very conscious and triggered only by need and necessity.

However, as long as people will attach strong emotions to items, such as happiness, feeling wanted/needed, searching for social approval, they will keep on buying, while the marketers will keep on finding even more sophisticated ways of making people feel inadequate. Social media and celebrity throw-away culture is indeed setting unhealthy and destructive trends. You cannot fight global pollution while promoting cheaply mass-produced products, insisting that your followers need them.

Rejecting that type of marketing message is vital in the process of creating a sustainable life. Owning stuff doesn’t make us wealthier in the emotional or financial sense. For me, spending time with my family and friends, having a job I love, and truly relaxing and unwinding without feeling the social and financial pressure is what happiness is all about.

Saying “no” to fast fashion, gadgets and status buys will free not only our minds but also our wallets won’t have to stretch too far. Instead of obsessively buying new stuff and upgrading the “old” one, we should strive to empower ourselves to build up our stash and investment portfolio. Those deliberate, conscious actions can create long-lasting real freedom.

I realize that human relationship with things is unusually complex and shift of consciousness takes time. That is why 2021 is a perfect year to start a global movement towards sustainable social change.

After stressful and emotionally draining 2020, we all need to stand up for the environment, the Rainforest and all the amazing species that live on our wonderful planet. If we don’t stop destroying this planet by buying our way into happiness (to accommodate consumers needs, corporations need to eradicate more of our planets natural resources), you can bet that more deadly and vicious pandemics will come our way.

Suppose we don’t shift our relationship with stuff and start genuinely connecting with people and the environment surrounding us. In that case, the marketers will keep on making the 0.1% even wealthier, while knowingly destroying Earth’s limited recourses.

Collectively we need to stop associating having stuff with happiness, success and lovability.

In my 20’s I had lots of stuff, but that were the times I was the most miserable. It’s not going to be easy to question every single thing I want to purchase. I would need to think ahead and wonder about its purpose, what I would do with it, and how long I could use it for. But I would rather question my decisions than have an influencer or celebrity tell me that to be enough or accepted in the group I need to buy, spend and own more than I’ll ever need.

We are all enough without all the extra clutter that only weighs us down, limits our possibilities and deprives us of fantastic opportunities we could have had if it wasn’t for the constant need to spend.

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How to Be a Conscious Consumer?

I generally consider myself an optimistic person, and, like most people I think, I had high hopes for 2021. It didn’t start with a massive bang for us, but it did with two movies, which I always consider a good start of the year.

However, four days into the New Year BJ announced yet another national lockdown, which wasn’t that surprising.

What was though was how long it took him to finally make that decision.

The next day after the announcement it turned out that we needed to buy a new car seat for baby M, because the one we had and lent out, was returned to us broken, though none of the people using it before even bothered to tell us. (What the hell peeps?)

Photo by the blowup on Unsplash

On the 6th. of January our dishwasher broke down and even though we are waiting for the repair wizard to do his magic, we might need to replace it rather sooner than later.

This morning (I’m writing this on the 9th of January) our car’s engine started flashing and the car wouldn’t start. Luckily the insurance sent a really nice lad, who jump-started the car, gave Big M. a few tips and maybe, just maybe, we only need to replace the battery.

I have to say that none of the obstacles above has fazed me in any way. I wasn’t panicking, I wasn’t worried, and I indeed wasn’t scared that we didn’t have enough money to cover all the unforeseen expenses. 

However, that wouldn’t have been the case, if I only saw money through my consumer’s eyes. But because I managed to shift my perception of money and what it can really offer, I kept my spending low and savings pretty high, compared to what I used to do in the past.

Still, there is a long way for me to go to get my consumerism in line with environmental standards.

Global overconsumption needs to go, and it’s not even a choice anymore but a necessity if we are to leave this planet inhabitable for our kids and grandkids.

To keep up with my new sustainability goals, I decided to look into ways and solutions to transform my household into a more sustainable place.

Plastic waste — reduce plastic waste in any possible way. I’m going to start with my bathroom. I’ve been slowly replacing plastic non-recyclable toothbrushes, soaps and creams. But I know I need to push even harder. This year I plan to replace all the everyday products I have in the bathroom, either with re-usable containers or find substitute products in glass containers.

I’ve been using the Ecover refillable bottles for years. However, it’s still hard to find local shops that carry those products at affordable prices. I’m hoping that it will change this year so I won’t have to consider the price only. I think Ecover should do much more to make refillable stations accessible and affordable to the general public. How can the refilling of one container be more expensive than buying a new product in a new plastic container? Ecover, you need to step up!

Plastic waste in the kitchen is my worst enemy. We eat lots of fruits and a majority of them, for some unknown reason, come in extra plastic packaging in the UK. Over the past few months, I’ve been buying more loose fruits and veggies. The supermarkets are also making a change; it’s a slow one, but finding loose kiwis, lemons, mangos, or pears is becoming more common.

Regardless of those efforts, I still end up with masses of plastic from other fruits and veggies.

My currently most pressing thing is to buy re-usable wraps to use, instead of the cling film, which I simply hate but my hubby seems to have a love affair with.

We mostly cook ourselves so hardly ever buy takeaway or ready-made food. However, if we buy ready-made food, it has to come in a recyclable box for me. Luckily a lot of shops started offering that option.

Fix it — last year I bought zero clothes for myself. Z E R O. Sure, I bought clothes for my children but nothing for me. I got some bits for Christmas, but I didn’t go to shops to hunt for bargains. Instead, I decided to tidy up all the clothes I kept at my parents’ house.

For years, I’ve been sending clothes to my parents because they have space. But when I finally displayed all the clothing on the floor, I wanted to cry, thinking about all those amazing experiences I missed out on, because I spent money on a garment that I hardly used, which only created clatter and gathered dust.

I’ve decided to stop buying; I solemnly apologized to some pieces that I thought were out of style (Duh…), I gave some bits to friends, but most are still waiting for re-distribution.

This experience got me wondering why, instead of fixing our clothes, we instantly dispose of them, even if some may be our favourite pieces. My granny used to fix clothes all the time. Everyone’s granny did that when I was growing up.

So, in the spirit of change this year I’m going to fix my beloved cardigan, which has a few tears but is in no way ready to be disposed of. I remember when in primary school they tried to teach us how to fix and mend things, but I was too busy with teenage life to learn.

Luckily, YouTube will surely show me the way.

Also, I’m going to re-purpose clothing that isn’t good enough to give away. If you have any inspiration or ideas for that, please share.

Minimalistic life choices — I started implementing that philosophy early on in my adult life, but it still didn’t save me from making lots of bad decisions. I always preferred to spend more money on good quality goods, such as clothing and kitchenware. But at the same time, I did stupidly buy-in Gap every time they had something on sale, and they often did.

Minimalistic life choices allow people to focus more on quality than quantity. Focusing on the longevity should be our priority. Yes, of course, cheap throwaway goods might be fun, but it doesn’t help anyone, charities cannot sale it, and often those things are unrecyclable.

I like having clothes and house/kitchenware that last for longer than a season, and I don’t care what the fashion influencers say about trends, be aware who pays them.

More people should start to buy for life, not for fashion. If you feel pressured to buy and spend, try to wait a day or two before deciding. The urge will more often than not pass.

I’m surely going to make 2021 count in my life as a conscious consumer. I don’t want the short time I have on Earth to be masterminded by marketers from offices in Paris, London or New York.

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What Is the Difference Between Biodegradable and Compostable Materials?

All materials will biodegrade eventually, however long that eventually is. The length of that process depends on humidity and temperature.

All compostable plastics are biodegradable, but not all biodegradable plastics would become compostable.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Biodegradable items will start breaking down into smaller pieces naturally, but it could take from 6 months to 100 years for the process to be completed. That is where the term “biodegradable” might be confusing or misleading in some cases.

Compostable products need higher temperatures to biodegrade, which means that they must be disposed of in the specially designated composting facility.

Food is fully compostable, and it will completely break down. For example, loose tea leaves and apple core can decompose in your home compost. But compostable food packaging won’t break down in your garden and needs much higher temperature that can only be achieved in the industrial composter.

Materials that follow international and European standards will break down within 12 weeks and biodegrade in at least 90% within 180 days in an industrial composting facility. When the compost created by those materials is sold for gardening or to agriculture, the international and European standards help to ensure that it will be free of toxins.

Water, carbon dioxide, and biomass are considered to be compostable materials because they break down thoroughly without leaving a toxic trace behind. However, for that to happen, they need to be under the right conditions that only industrial composter can create.

The positive thing about biodegradable items is that they aren’t made from oil and leave no chemical trace behind, as long as they are disposed under the right conditions. Otherwise, they can be as problematic to the environment as standard plastic. Countries that haven’t developed recycling plants or refuse collections, often chug rubbish in dumps, throw them into the rivers (that will end up in the sea or will be left in the water to rot) or simply burn them.

It’s vital to support poorer countries to dispose of their rubbish correctly. Looking after the environment is a collective effort, and not a single country can say that it’s not their problem what others do with their garbage. Understanding and being mindful of what is biodegradable and what is compostable is a good start towards building environmental awareness within the global society.

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Plastic in Fashion

Let’s face it, plastic is omnipresent. Fast fashion and cheap clothing create immense damage to sea life, which automatically affects us too. Before you go out buying your new set of clothes, read the fashion facts below and spend your money wisely and consciously.

Fashion FactsA study showed that fashion items are often worn just seven times before being thrown away!Every person, on average, has 57 (!) unworn items in their wardrobe.Man-made fibres are almost always made from plastic, which means they are non-biodegradable and will never go away.Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

Non-biodegradable nylon is, by far, the most popular fabric in the fashion industry.When clothes made of plastic are washed, they release lots of tiny fibres, called microfibers, that go down the drains to the sea.Different types of polymers (plastic) that clothes are made of won’t break down or biodegrade.Football shirts, school blazers, sports socks and outdoor jackets are often made from man-made fibres.You can avoid plastic in your clothes by choosing natural alternatives such as wool, cotton, hemp, silk or bamboo.Tiny plastic is one of the most significant sources of plastic in the ocean.The fluff in your tumble dryer goes down the drain every time you wash your clothes. Sewage treatment plants aren’t able to catch the tiny fibres, so instead, they go all the way to a river or the sea where a variety of fish eats them and move up the food chain. Using a ball catching the microfibers before they enter the water system is a fantastic idea.There are many things you can do with your old clothes instead of binning them the instant you decide you don’t like it:Give it away to a charity.Give it to your friends.Learn how to fix your clothes if they have a hole.Try to upcycling your old clothes by using plastic, free dyes.I prefer buying more expensive clothes, which are better quality than the fast fashion shops offer and thus have all of us wear clothes for much longer.Buying second-hand clothes are always a good idea, especially for the kids, since they grow out of them so fast.

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Few Facts About Plastic

Let’s face it, plastic, in one form or another, is everywhere. It makes cutting down on plastic a very, very challenging task. I’ve been trying to cut down on plastic for years, and I know how hard it can be at times, especially when you live in a highly developed country that loves plastic packaging so much that puts individual cucumbers in a plastic foil.

Since it is omnipotent in our lives, it’s really tough to explain to children, born into the world of plastic that it isn’t too great, and rather very unkind to Mother Earth.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

If you are like me and need to get creative while trying to explain important issues such as plastic to your kids, below you will find a list of few facts about plastic that are rarely talked about but can make a huge difference in children’s understanding of where it can be found.

1907 — Bakelite a first synthetic plastic made from oil is created

1941– the first polyester fiber, called Terylene is used but kept in secret because of the WWII

1958– Plastic Lego bricks are invented

1976 — Plastic becomes one of the most used materials in the world.

2004 — The term microplastic is first used to describe tiny plastic particles that pollute the environment.

2015 — Oceanographer films a turtle with a straw up its nose

2018 — A dead whale was found in Indonesia with over a thousand pieces of plastic in its stomach, including:

115 plastic cups4 plastic bottles25 plastic bags2 flip-flops1 nylon sack

Surprising plastic:

Teabags often have plastic in them.Crisp packets are made from them.Most nappies are made from plastic.

What can go down the toilet?

PeePooPukePaper

What cannot go down the toilet?

-Nappies

– Pads

– Wet wipes

– Cotton-bud sticks

– Glitter

– Women’s hygiene products

– Microbeads

– Plastic bags

– Plasters

Plastic at the party.

Party poppersBalloonsGlitter — when it goes down the drain it becomes microplastic that goes all the way to the sea.Party bags — avoid plastic party bags, plastic toys, individual sweets and snacks.Plastic plates and cutlery –plastic plates, knives, forks and spoons might be recyclable but it’s better to avoid that. You can replace all that plastic by wooden alternatives.Straws: even at Tesco’s you can find alternatives to plastic straws.

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“A Bit More About Sexism”

“A Bit More About Sexism”

On Sunday, after my son won his football game (he is a goalie and the wins for his team don’t necessarily come in abundance) we decided to celebrate with a lunch in Blackheath Village. We went to a place we haven’t visited before called Zerodegrees.

And…

It was well past the lunch hour but the restaurant section (the restaurant is divided to the bar and the restaurant section) was still busy. The waitress sat us at the only available table and before we sat down the manager came in running screaming that the table was reserved for 3.30 pm. and if we didn’t have the reservation we weren’t allowed to seat at that table. To our utter surprise, together with his outburst he didn’t offer an apology or another table for us to sit at. Of course I have nothing against reservations and people booking tables but, first of all, the table should have a plaque saying “Reserved” as any other restaurant, bar etc. would have. Secondly, the manager, who wasn’t that bloody busy as there was enough floor stuff to take care of all the tables, should have been accommodating and communicative to us – paying patrons. I know, I know, my standards are pretty high; some may even say too high. I promise I’ll work on it. At the end of the day I’m only a woman and shouldn’t expect much from life.

However, we decided to stay and seat at the bar section, which was much more attractive for my son ‘cos of the high chairs.

Me being me I couldn’t keep my mouth shoot and decided to speak up. I went up to the manager and told him that he was very rude and I didn’t like his attitude. And believe me or not he still didn’t apologies, quite the opposite actually. He decided to dispute the whole incident (as I said my standards are pretty high) with me. Even after I told him what I, a paying customer, expected from him. Nothing. He simply was comfortable to make a scene in the middle of the restaurant where other patrons were eating.

Interestingly enough, or perhaps not, his tune changed the moment I said that my husband and my cousin (male) also felt that his approach was rough and not in keeping with standards of the service industry.

What followed was quite fascinating to witness. His attitude changed the moment I had my “social proof” in the form of 2 blokes sitting opposite to me. When I was on my own he was dismissive of me and my complaint and I had to prove it to him that I was right and he was wrong.

If it wasn’t for an article I read couple of days before in the Huffington Post about sexism in the work place and constant need for women to convince men that they are right and fully capable to do the work they do, I wouldn’t have paid much attention to this incident but I did read the article and I did pay attention

I was right about his very rude behavior and the treatment he served us. But on top of pointing that simple truth to him; I also had to waste my precious energy on an entitled asshole who decided that his dick was superior to my (and most likely any other) vagina

Don’t get me wrong; the food was very nice and our waitress was lovely, chatty and very kind. Overall we did end up spending a lovely time together.

However, the chances of me going back to Zerodegrees are close to none, taking into consideration that he didn’t offer us any discount, neither tea or coffee on the house as an apology for his little tantrum.

Besides, I’m lucky enough to still live in a city full of choices and places to go to and I’m planning on exercising this very option.

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“Refugees”

“Refugees” 

As a modern, educated woman I have a lot of political views and opinions and I feel that as socially aware human I cannot not discuss refugees issue any longer.

A refugee is a person who has no other choice but to flee their own country, often running from violence, prosecution and war, in order to survive.

Unfortunately a lot of the far right wing media seems to forget that the refugees are people, not the monsters trying to get to the European Union country to live off benefits.

Refugees from Syria or Afghanistan are not extremists, terrorists or ISIS recruits (a terrorist is a terrorist, not a refugee), just like not all Polish people drink vodka (I’m a perfect example of one who doesn’t) and not all English people behave like savage drunk animals when they go to Spain.

The difference between us from the Western World and the refugees at the moment is that we were born in developed, secured countries and they were born in a country torn by war, often fuelled by foreign powers, which profit from that very war.

We all should remember that a person doesn’t consciously decides to become a refugee ‘cos this is the “easiest” option. There is nothing easy in fleeing your native country from violence, starvation and almost certain death. Do you think all those doctors, lawyers and teachers wanted to become refugees, wanted to leave their own countries, friends and families and go to the unknown, often very hostile environment to work as labourers? If you seriously do, think again. Would you, yourself risk your livelihood and lives of your children for the uncertain hope of claiming benefits in Germany or Sweden or die on the way? Rather not.

One becomes a refugee when all the other options have been exhausted. It’s a difficult decision especially in the current political climate and general disregard and disrespect towards people who are different than the white, heterosexual, perfectly Christian male.

Throughout our history people, tribes, whole towns and villages migrated from one place to another. So the concept of migrating isn’t new. Migration often was caused by starvation and fear (connected to war and food shortages) so the notion of large groups of people moving from one place to another is not a modern invention. Yes, there are more people alive then ever before, so consequently the movement of people is going to be larger than ever before.

Refugees (from many different countries) are people who currently need our help and this is what we humans do, we help one another and that help gets us all through hardships.

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“Sexism, Bullying and Women Power.”

“Sexism, Bullying and Women Power.”

One afternoon after school my son was playing football with his schoolmates. However, unlike all the other times one of the fathers decided that he was ready to take on the 7, 8 and 9 years olds on. I’m guessing the father was in his 50’s so it did seem like the right age group for him. I’m not against fathers playing with kids but I’m against cheating and against grown-up men competing against boys. And believe me or not from the moment they started playing he was at it, he wasn’t trying to teach the kids anything. He was trying to win and show them what a great, fantastic and powerful dude he was.

At some point my son’s team (my son was a goalie as he usually is) scored but the brave, powerful grown-up decided that it wasn’t a goal ‘cos he didn’t save it (he was standing right in front of the goalie making sure that no ball was going to pass him).

I said, “No, no, it was a goal.” Any adult person with at least a tiny bit of self-awareness and self-confidence would say “Yeah, fine, it was a goal”. The game like this should be fun for the kids, not a stressful activity where they have to be accepted by the Almighty know-it-all asshole.

Well, the asshole (I don’t know his real name but I do believe this one is appropriate) decided that he was having none of this, especially from a woman. I am a woman so what I know about football, scores and the rules applying on a pitch.

I didn’t want to pick a fight; I just wanted him to fuck off and leave the kids alone. However he decided to keep insulting me starting with the statement that he has been playing football with the kids for the past 10 years every Tuesday. He might have but to be blunt with you I never saw him play football with any of the kids previously (I have been in the school for almost 4 years) and my son has been playing a lot after school for the last year or so. But that didn’t end there as he decided to go all the way and shout out: “Look at her, she is so angry; what kind of vibe you are giving. Look at her face, she is so strict. She is a very special person. Look at her.” To which I replied that yes, I was a very special person and his attempt at embarrassing me and shutting me up didn’t really work out for him. He did everything in front of all the kids and the other parents who found it amusing if not funny. Well done for having integrity.

Believe me or not but I didn’t want to start a fight or an argument, not in front of the kids who, as we know, learn by imitation. But he couldn’t let it go, he was too insecure to let some woman whom he usually ignores at the school gate tell him off. When the second part of the game started he decided to attack me verbally again. However this time he took a different approach. He was calm and composed, patronizing me all the time. Once he scored, he started shouting to me “Was that a score or it wasn’t?” so I said, “If you want to say something to me come over and talk to me”. He did that bringing a bunch of kids surrounding him and started telling me how angry I was. At that point I maybe was angry or maybe I wasn’t but that is none of your business, you asshole!!! I asked him if he was trying to pick a fight to what his reply was “I didn’t fight with anyone since the kindergarten.” I honestly didn’t want to argue with him in front of the kids. It’s not right. I just calmly said, “Just go and play”.

This asshole has a daughter and I bet at some point in her life she is going to meet an asshole like him on her journey or maybe a boy from school is going to treat her in exactly the same way he treated me. Thanks to people like him sexism, inequality and disrespect for women still prevails everywhere and the older I get the more I see it or maybe simply I don’t want to be “nice and sweet” little woman any more.

But I’m not having any of this. If a grown-up is trying to win a game against kids in a dirty way I’m going to speak up even if I have to take some shit afterwards ‘cos you know what buddy. Dudes like you make me laugh. Dudes who after so many years of holding power over women are still terrified the moment a woman challenges them in the slightest.

And next time you want to play a real football, pick lads your own age unless you are too afraid you are going to suck and lose and as we all know that won’t be good for your already shattered self-esteem.

PS. People who allow sexism behaviour, find it funny or amusing in any way are as guilty of spreading that type of behaviour as the “powerless” insecure dudes that execute that kind of behaviour and I have no time for people like that in my life.

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“The Best Plan Ever”

“The Best Plan Ever”

I plan everything I do. Every single step of my day is carefully crafted to the smallest detail. I have no time for mistakes or mismanagement of my time.

After my careful “basic” planning I sit down and map out more detailed plans. I spend most of my thinking time planning how to plan better in order to become more productive.

I’m the queen of planning. In a way I plan to plan.

According to my life strategic plan every minute of my life should be planned. When I have no plan my anxious nature takes over and I end up having anxiety attacks. I start shaking on the inside, am unable to move, my body aches and the fear is so painful that I want to jump out of my skin just to stop this feeling for a sec. or two.

If I’m going to be totally honest with you none of my plans have ever entirely worked the way I had planned.

Moreover, it seems that now I can’t even plan a day in advance without some unexpected shit coming up that ruins my plans.

What do I have to do to stop planning while allowing trust to take over my life instead of constant unbearable fear? Is there an answer to this question?

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“I’m Tired…”

“I’m Tired…”

I’m tired of being perfect.

I’m tired of the expectations put on women all day long, every day, all year long.

I’m tired of having to think about the ‘to do’s’ lists even before I open my eyes.

I’m tired that the moment I finally open my eyes I’m already out of time.

I’m tired that I have to be everything to everyone. I need to be a perfect mother, perfect wife and perfect business owner even though most of the time I have no fucking idea how to do it.

I’m tired that I need to make all the decisions.

I’m tired that my life has become one long service attending other’s needs.

I’m tired that I’m stuck and can’t move on ‘cos there is million things that need my attention before I can even think of moving on.

I’m tired that I lost myself in life that feels alien and doesn’t even feel that is part of me anymore.

I’m tired of being tired.

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