Rebecca H. Jamison's Blog, page 12

Tricks from a Mom of Six

When people hear I have six children, they usually think I'm a little crazy. They may be right, but I love each one of my kids. Each one is unique and brings joy to my life.

Nevertheless, raising six kids can be a lot of work. Today, I thought I'd share some tricks I've learned over the years to make things easier for myself.


I'll start with Meals and Shopping: For years now, I have collected simple, easy, cheap recipes in a binder. My kids have food allergies and don't always enjoy recipes designed especially for them, so my binder has been a life-saver. A few years ago, I also took the time to write out four shopping lists that I rotate. At the top of the list, I wrote the seven dinners I plan for the week. Then I wrote out the ingredients by category, so I can find them easily in the store. I used to do menu-planning every single week, and it took me way too long. I find I save time and money when we repeat our twenty-four favorite meals over and over again. Recently, I also started a non-foods shopping list, so I can stay stocked with items like tissues and vitamins. This saves me time because I don't have to make a special trip when I run out of napkins or shampoo.

House-Cleaning: A few years ago, I discovered Flylady.net. She helped me establish routines that save my time. I keep a control journal in a little photo book to remind me of my routines. I love Flylady's Weekly Home Blessing Hour podcast that I keep on my mp3 player. It helps me get my house shaped up in about an hour. (Click on the link if you're interested.) I also love her control journals, especially the one that helps me prepare for Christmas.
I also listen to books on CD or mp3 files while I clean. I get lost in the book and forget I'm cleaning. This is also a great way to read spiritual materials.

Laundry: Each of our kids has his own dishpan, into which we put his clean clothes. Ideally, the children put away their own clean clothes when their dishpans are full. That doesn't always happen, but the dishpans save me the grief of having laundry always piled on a bed or sofa.
Doing laundry is part of my routine. I do a load of laundry each morning, and I keep rebooting it until either the day is over or I reach the bottom of the pile. I sort laundry according to the Harry Potter sorting hat method. Ghosts are whites. Rags are Slitherin. Light-colored clothes are Hufflepuff. Dark-colored clothes are Griffindor. And towels and sheets are Ravenclaw. You would think this would make my kids more excited about sorting laundry, but it really only worked once.
Kids' Chores: The chore system that works best for us during the school year is to assign each child a ten-minute chore to do after dinner. Since they only have to work for ten minutes and they all work at the same time, they usually do their chores quickly without complaining. Our ten-minute chores include: washing dishes, collecting dirty laundry, clearing the table, sweeping the kitchen, vacuuming, and cleaning the living room. The youngest usually helps an older child. During the summer, I give the kids more elaborate chore charts that I print off the computer. I require them to finish their chores before they get screen time or outside time.

Keeping personal items separate: It's definitely hard to figure out who owns what. I have tried giving each child a different color toothbrush, but inevitably, the dentist will give them a toothbrush that is the wrong color. Permanent markers help on occasions like that. If the marker tends to rub off, you can put a piece of packing tape over it. I sewed rickrack on the edges of the kids' towels, so each child will have a towel that is unique to him (much cheaper than monogramming.) We also keep labeled plastic baskets in our smaller bathroom, so each child has a place for his toothbrush, deodorant, etc.

Finding time to write: Now that my youngest is in preschool, I have a lot more free time to write. Still, I have a few tricks that help me make the most of my writing time. First, I write on a laptop that doesn't have access to the internet. Second, I always keep a pen and paper handy, so I can write when inspiration strikes. I have a light-up pen and steno pad beside my bed. That way I can write down my thoughts in the middle of the night.
What are some of your tricks for saving time and staying organized?

Book Review: Home Matters

I just finished reading Julie N. Ford's new novella. It was a fun break after a stressful week. This is my first experience reading a novella. I liked it because I'm a person who can't start a book without finishing it almost immediately. And Julie's book only took me a few short hours in the evenings. It was a fun break. And Julie's writing style is fresh. I always come away from her books, feeling like I've been on a little visit to the South.

The book is about an actress, Olivia Pembroke, who's spent the last few years trying to get her big break in Hollywood. She finally gets it when she's cast as the co-host of a popular home improvement show. Only, she isn't as happy in her role as she'd expected. She has to make some big decisions about what's really important to her. She must decide whether her acting dreams are really worth all the sacrifice--and whether the man she's always wanted to date is really the man for her.

Overall, I enjoyed the book. It had some surprising twists and some interesting character development. I would've liked it to be longer, but I'll admit there are definite advantages to reading a short book too.

Rewriting My Own Stories

It always seems like the worst things happen when my husband is out of town. Last summer, when my husband and three oldest children were on a church camp out, I got three pieces of bad news. First, I got the dreaded call from the hospital that my tests had not come back normal. Second, one of my son's friends told me his mom wouldn't allow him to play at my house any more. (I felt terrible.) Third, I got my first reader reviews for my book, and they were horrible.

For the next three weeks, things didn't get much better. My husband broke our camera on the church camp out. The neighbor kids decided to play tricks on my kids. The reviews got worse. And I had to wait a month to find out for sure that I was cancer free. When I finally got that wonderful phone call from the hospital that said I don't have cancer, I was so relieved. I am still relieved. But a few days later, I got a $1000 bill for my biopsy (that was after insurance.) And more bills for my other hospital tests. 
With all the trauma in my life last summer, I didn't enjoy the publication process. It was just too stressful to revise, rewrite, market, and do signings when I had all these other things going on. I thought about quitting. Then I decided that I liked writing--just not the other parts of publishing.

So I kept writing because it made me happy, but I promised myself that I could write simply for my own pleasure. And I did. I have loved every minute of writing Sense and Sensibility: A Latter-day Tale.
I wrote for myself--what I wanted to read and what I wanted to write. When my acquisitions editor contacted me last fall and asked if I had a new book for 2014, I had to think a while before answering, "yes." It was seriously a leap of faith to agree to another summer publication date.
In the last few months, as I've finished my book, I've thought about last summer. And I've thought of the stories I've told myself about last summer. I'm trying to rewrite my experiences of last year in a way that emphasizes the positives: First, I had bad test results, but I don't have cancer, and my doctor says I'm in great shape. I am even more grateful for my health now.Second, my son's friend wasn't that great of an influence anyway. He was older than my son, and they fought a lot. My son has better friends now, which is another reason to celebrate. Yay!Third, I got some awesome reviews last year too, including one from Publisher's Weekly. And, overall, the reviews got much better after those first few weeks. My book just needed to find its audience.Plus, I had a lot of other things to be grateful for last summer. My kids all had wonderfully fun summers. I cultivated the habit of writing in a gratitude journal, a practice that has blessed me ever since. I discovered some new hiking trails. And I learned to have more faith that my Heavenly Father knows how I'm feeling.

So, as I continue learning to write, I also continue to learn to live. And so much of living is about the stories we tell ourselves.

How are you trying to rewrite your life?

A Book for St. Patrick's Day

I've finished the manuscript for my next book and sent it off to my publisher. After spending the last year working on it, I feel a little lost today. But there's also a huge relief that comes from finishing a project. I've spent way too much time revising lately. I'm glad to have more time to spend with my children. And I'm also glad to have time to clean my house.

I've said before that I love audiobooks. It makes housecleaning feel so much more like an adventure when I read a book while I work. And lately, I've found an excellent audiobook. It's my favorite book of the year so far--Sarah M. Eden's Longing for Home. It is the story of a young Irish woman, who travels to Wyoming in the mid-1800s, to accept a job as a housekeeper. This description doesn't do it justice, though. If you like historical romance, I guarantee that you will like this book. And the audiobook's narrator is excellent.

What's even better is that the book's sequel came out this month. It's called Hope Springs.

Blog Tour: A Death in the Family

My friend, Marlene Bateman has another new book. It's a murder mystery. I love a good mystery. One of these days, I may just write one myself. Until then, I'll be reading Marlene's.

Here's the synopsis:

Meet Erica Coleman—a gifted and quirky private investigator with an OCD-like passion for neatness and symmetry, a penchant for cooking, (ten terrific recipes are included), and a weakness for chocolate.

In A Death in the Family, the second in the Erica Coleman series, private eye Erica Coleman and her family happily anticipate Grandma Blanche’s eighty-first birthday celebration in the picturesque town of Florence, Oregon. But when the feisty matriarch, a savvy businesswoman, suspects wrongdoing and asks Erica to investigate her company, things get sticky.

Before the investigation can even begin, Blanche’s unexpected death leaves Erica with more questions than answers—and it is soon clear Grandma’s passing was anything but natural: she was murdered. When another relative becomes the next victim of someone with a taste for homicide, Erica uses her flair for cooking to butter up local law enforcement and gather clues.

Erica’s OCD either helps or hinders her—depending on who you talk to—but it’s those same obsessive and compulsive traits than enable Erica to see clues that others miss. When she narrowly escapes becoming the third victim, Erica is more determined than ever to solve the case.


Author Biography


Marlene Bateman Sullivan was born in Salt Lake City, Utah and graduated from the University of Utah with a BA in English. She is married to Kelly R. Sullivan and they are the parents of seven children.

Her hobbies are gardening, camping, and reading. Marlene has been published extensively in magazines and newspapers and has written a number of non-fiction books, including: Latter-day Saint Heroes and Heroines, And There Were Angels Among Them, Visit’s From Beyond the Veil, By the Ministering of Angels, Brigham’s Boys, and Heroes of Faith. Her latest book is Gaze Into Heaven; Near Death Experiences in Early Church History, a fascinating collection of over 50 documented near-death experiences from the lives of early latter-day Saints.

Marlene’s first novel was the best-selling Light on Fire Island. Her next novel was Motive for Murder, which is the first in a mystery series that features the quirky private eye with OCD, Erica Coleman.

Here are the links to buy:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Death-Family-Erica-Coleman-Mystery/dp/1621085732/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1393108321&sr=1-1&keywords=a+death+in+the+family+by+marlene+bateman
Deseret Book: http://deseretbook.com/Death-Family-Marlene-Bateman/i/5120025
Seagull Book: http://www.seagullbook.com/lds-products-823999.html

My Sister Doesn't Talk to Me

My sister, Caroline, hasn't talked to me in over thirty years. In fact, she's never talked to me. She was born with Down Syndrome, and at her birth, experts assured my parents that we could teach her to speak, read, and write. It would just take longer to teach her than it would to teach a normal child. Let me tell you, we tried our hardest, but my sister never learned to talk. Boy, were we ever judged! My sister couldn't even qualify for the Special Olympics.

As time went on, we discovered that Caroline had many traits in common with autistic children. At that time--the eighties--autism wasn't as common. Teachers and doctors were only just beginning to talk about it. When you look at my sister, you don't see autism; you see Down Syndrome. Thus, she was never diagnosed as autistic.

However, those of us who know Caroline best know that autism defines her life. She is obsessive in her interests, showing a definite preference for musicals and classical music. She frequently rocks back and forth. She prefers certain textures over others. And she doesn't usually enjoy close contact with other people--though she does have her own sense of humor.

Growing up with Caroline was always an adventure. Every time we went out in public, people watched.  They watched as she swam in our neighborhood pool, diving in and out of the water like a dolphin. They watched while my parents reminded Caroline to sit in her chair, not the floor, at restaurants. And while she threw her eyeglasses off of boats and bridges. And while she screamed on airplanes.

Now my sister lives in a group home with four other mentally disabled women. The caregivers there provide twenty-four-hour care for her. Her home is close enough to my parents that they can visit her as often as they like. Every Sunday, my parents bring her home to spend time with the family. When I visit, it's the same old story. Caroline sits rocking back and forth on the family room floor, listening to Mozart or watching a musical. Most of the time, when I try to hug her, she pushes me away.

Every autistic individual I know is different from every other. In some ways, autism defies categorization. When I started writing Sense and Sensibility: A Latter-day Tale (coming August 2014), I wanted to include a character like Caroline, so I created a little sister named Grace. She's a lot like my sister, only she talks. She loves musicals and swimming in rivers. And when she doesn't get her way, she sits down, refusing to move.

Grace is a minor character. My book isn't about autism. It's about a family. And, for me, being a part of a family involves loving each other despite our weaknesses. It's also a romance, and I have to tell you that for me, there's nothing more attractive than a man who's kind to disabled people. That's one of the important things my sister has taught me without saying a word.

Little Things Make a Difference

I borrowed this from happyhomefairy.com
My photo wouldn't load.We have a silly tradition in our neighborhood. Around holidays, various families like to leave anonymous surprises at each others' doors. Around Valentines' Day, people do something called heart attacking, which means attaching a bunch of heart-shaped notes on a neighbor's front door.(I know this can be a disrespectful term for those who've experienced the devastation of a real heart attack. That's just what everyone calls it.) My family has been heart attacked many times. It's fun and always makes us feel loved and appreciated when we see read the bright colored notes.

This morning, I noticed my neighbors across the street had been attacked with four large multi-colored hearts on their door, complete with notes written in crayon. This family moved here about two years ago, and in my memory, they've never had this happen to them before. I smiled, happy that someone had thought of them. (I swear it wasn't me, but I wish it were.)

Later on, as I walked outside to take out the trash, I noticed the mom had just arrived home with her kindergarten-age son. They stood, halfway up the walkway to their door, staring at the notes. I took out one trash can and then another as they read the notes. There were only four little notes, yet they stood there still. Perhaps the little boy was reading the notes himself. Or maybe they were trying to guess who left the notes. Either way, they were obviously impressed. The small gesture made a difference.

It touched me, reminding me how much everyone needs a little love. Sometimes at Valentine's Day, we think only of romantic love. (Me especially--I've been writing kissing scenes all week. That's just where I am in my book.) But seeing my neighbors this morning, I think maybe it's time to expand my circle of love a little this week. Everyone needs to feel appreciated, loved, and liked.

The Blessing of Seasonal Affective Disorder

In the book I'm writing now, one of the characters struggles with depression. It's a horrible disease. I can relate to depressed people--not because I have depression, but because I have seasonal affective disorder, also known as SAD. For at least ten years now, I've struggled to feel positive during the winter months, particularly January. It's one of those weird writer things that I'm grateful to have this struggle this year. It's made it easier to write the parts of my novel that deal with depression. To write well, it helps to feel what you're writing. Some of my worst days have inspired my best writing. Funny how that works.

I think more people struggle with SAD than realize it. I've encountered a whole lot of crabby people during the cloudy days of winter. Sometimes I just want to shake them and tell them they're in denial. "Get help!" Over the years, I've learned ways to help me cope with SAD. Because of these strategies, I sometimes don't feel the effects of SAD at all.

First, and most importantly, I have to get out in the sun--even if it's zero degrees and cloudy. Shoveling snow or taking a walk will usually boost my mood for 24 hours or so. It used to help me to simply drive in the car every day during the winter, but now that manufacturers have improved UV protection in car windows, that doesn't seem to help me as much. My fifteen minutes in the sun is my medicine. I also keep the window shades open during the day and use a full spectrum light at my desk.

Second, I try to lower my expectations. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I'm not perfect. I just want to be. Yeah. That's part of the problem. New Year's resolutions can really get me down if I try too hard to get them all done in January and February.

Third, I exercise every day. It always improves my mood and energy--unless I'm doing burpees and planks. I kind of hate burpees and planks. I only do exercises I like to do.

Fourth, I take a vitamin D supplement along with a multivitamin. I've heard fish oil helps too, but I haven't tried it. If I can ever get over the taste . . .

Fifth, I try to stay spiritually in tune. Depending on your beliefs, you might do something totally different than I do. I like to to read scriptures every morning and pray. Right now, I'm studying the lessons my teenagers are learning at church. Earlier this year, I studied all the topics from the BYU Women's Conference. I figured since I couldn't go to the conference, I'd teach myself little lessons about every class listed in the syllabus. I really enjoyed my study during that time.

Sixth, I notice that if I'm excited about something, I'm much less likely to get depressed. I try to plan events to look forward to. It usually makes me happy to help other people outside my family (as long as I don't overdo it.) And I find I also enjoy giving myself little rewards for small accomplishments.

What keeps you happy during the winter months?

40 Date Ideas

My husband and I have had some pretty boring dates lately. Part of that is just because we'd rather sit at home watching a movie, but part of it is that we didn't plan ahead. Sooo, I've decided to plan ahead and make one of those cute Internet Dating Ideas Lists. Here are some of the dates I plan to plan in 2014:


Visit a historic cemetery near our home Go cross country skiing or snow shoeingVisit the local cathedralBake breadMake Altoids emergency kitsFind "our" poemRun at the indoor trackEat at an Indian restaurantTake a tripod to a garden and pose for picturesLearn to make tamalesBake cookies and doorbell ditch them on neighbors' front porchesMake a list of goals we want to accomplish together (long and short range)Do a home repairWatch a drive-in movieSort family pictures and/or find ways to display themPlan our next anniversary getawayMake up a new recipe for homemade icecreamInterview an older family member on videoLeave kind notes for an elderly neighbor or bring her flowersEat at a Brazilian restaurantHave a water fightDestroy something with a sledgehammer (my husband's idea)Go birdwatching to see the eagles who winter near our homeWalk at the mallBeat up on my sons' heavy bag and jump on a mini trampolineExplore a new bike trailWatch one of these movies: "The Bells of St. Mary's," "The Young Victoria," or "Redemption: For Robbing the Dead."Go see a comedian or watch a Brian Regan dvd.Attend a filming of one of our favorite shows.Walk through IKEAHave a campfire with s'moresVisit an art museumGo sleddingVisit the planetariumMake a playlist of songs we both loveDo a puzzleHave a dinner party with friendsRefinish or paint a piece of furnitureSee a local band playGo hikingChaperone a school dance

Finding Family Movies

We had a lot of fun over the holidays watching movies, mostly thanks to Jonathan Decker and his book, 250 Great Movies for Latter-day Families. I got the book at the library and used it to pick out a few DVDs that were family friendly. It was quite a relief to be able to find movies we would all enjoy that met our standards. Granted, a lot of the films he recommends are animated and many others are religious films. However, there are plenty of other films I did not know about. It's filled up my "movies to watch" list quite nicely.


We watched, The Big Miracle, a movie about how a group of people in Alaska got together to save some whales. It's probably not the best movie you'll ever see, but we enjoyed it.

We also saw Courageous, a faith-based movie about a group of policemen who come to realize the importance of their role as fathers. It was a very serious movie, sometimes cheesy, and a little preachy at times. (The main characters are Baptist I think.) However, I'm glad we watched it with my sons. There aren't a lot of movies that talk about the role of a good father.



We also saw National Treasure. My younger kids enjoyed it while the rest of us couldn't get past the fictionalization of history. I'm sure you've heard of that one.

Last but not least, we watched The Letter Writer. Actually, I should say I watched The Letter Writer because no one else wanted to see it. (The boys didn't think it looked like their type of movie. It's too bad because it was really good.) It follows the story of a troubled teen who receives an encouraging letter from an old man. The two become friends, and the girl figures out how to fix some of her problems.