Ken Lizzi's Blog, page 18
November 13, 2022
Aragorn Drops Back to Pass. Resurrected Post.
Cultures, whether writ large or sifted down to the level of subculture, link us together. Like it or not, my fellow misanthropes. (Is that an oxymoron, fellow misanthropes? And, I���m really not. People are ��� fine.) One of linkage a culture offers is a shared day of celebration. A holiday, for example, like Christmas, or a national day of remembrance. Or, the Superbowl, a purely organic artifact of American culture, utterly secular and without government origin or sanction.
Now many of you reading this are already rolling your eyes. There are some who take active pleasure in disliking sports, employing such dismissive phrases as ���sports ball��� and deliberately mixing baseball and basketball jargon in a proud display of ignorance. This attitude projects two impressions. One: I am too smart to care about the outcome of some athletic contest; and two: only semi-literate knuckle draggers do care.
That���s all right. We all tend to dismiss that which doesn���t interest us personally as somehow unworthy. Afterall, if it was worthy of attention we���d, naturally, be interested. Basic self-esteem. I���m sure I���m as guilty of this as everyone else. The point is, you like what you like, and, conversely, don���t like other things. I���m not about to cast the first stone.
But, at the risk of being labeled as a low-brow, proletarian, lumpen brute incapable of appreciating the finer things in life, I enjoy many spectator sports. I���m not going to construct an argument proposing some objective value inherent in them. By profession I���m a lawyer, I get paid for that sort of writing. I���m not giving it away for free here. However, I think it a reasonable statement that gathering to watch sports does create a cultural link.
Consider the Superbowl, and how it will draw so many Americans to observe the same bit of entertainment collectively. Most won���t care about who wins. Those with an interest in football subdivide tribally when it comes to rooting for teams and thus the majority of football fans won���t be fans of either of the two teams that remain to vie for the Lombardy Trophy. And football fans probably won���t account for the majority of the viewers. The bulk of the viewership are watching solely because it is a cultural event, a spectacle we share, with the game itself only a piece of the larger event.
And so, drilling down from the larger cultural context to the subcultural, what fantasy characters should make up the ideal football team? Tough question, and I���m not sure how well we can answer it. I mean, how do you define the characteristics of the ideal punter?
I���m limiting this to human characters. It���s already complicated enough.
I propose Aragorn as quarterback. Tall, rangy, with great eyesight and exceptional leadership qualities.
Conan is a middle linebacker. Fast, strong, and aggressive, yet still intelligent enough to make the right calls for the defense.
I���d suggest Temper, from Malazan books, as left guard. He���s got that protective mindset that will help protect the quarterback.
Fafhrd is big enough to play tackle, but I see him as a tight end, blocking or breaking through the defense to catch a pass.
I���m considering Druss the Axe for nose tackle. Is he big enough, do you think?
Solomon Kane for wide receiver, slotback probably. Line him up with John Carter and maybe Faramir on the wings.
Brule Spearslayer for free safety.
Eric John Stark for running back.
The Gray Mouser returning kicks?
Help me out, people. We need the big boys in the trenches. Hard choices when we���re limited to human characters.
Anyway, for those of you uninterested in the big game it���s something for you to think about in between commercials.
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Published on February 02, 2020 12:21
The Beat Goes On. Resurrected Post.
I grew up in the Northwest. Rain is the norm. Wet weather can limit activities, hinder weekend recreation. I recall one of the go-to choices for a rainy Saturday was a trip to Bonneville Dam. Tour the museum, count the fish, visit the hatchery. Not a lot of pizzazz, perhaps, but it can occupy a kid for a few hours.
So, I decided to pass the tradition along to the Heir Apparent. I drove MBW and the HA along the Columbia Gorge to look at some fish and watch a dam generating electricity. Neither one seems to hate me for it.
The HA found the gift shop more engaging than the enormous sturgeon, but still seemed to like what she saw.
Unfortunately the fish ladder was shut down for cleaning. So, no fish counting. That���s too bad. The windows in the observation level are usually good for at least a lamprey or two. But the HA has been watching an education show that delved into energy generation, so she showed some interest in seeing the turbines. Ultimately she was more entertained by an old manual typewriter that formed part of an exhibit, and a model energy-efficient house. But I���ll take it as a win.
Any chance to drive along the Columbia River Gorge at least provides worthwhile scenery. That���s less of a benefit for the driver, but the passengers can get an eyeful of waterfalls, a wide river, and towering rock formations.
Cheers.
The tradition holds up, I figure.
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Published on January 26, 2020 14:12
Home on the Range. Resurrected Post.
Some days you just need to punish innocent steel plates and sheets of paper. And as a writer, it is good to remind yourself of the sounds, smells, and feel of firearms. You think, ���I really ought to go back and revise that scene, get in at least a mention of the noise.���
The smell doesn���t get mentioned much. But the smell of lead and gunpowder lingers, especially on your hands. (Then of course there is the smell of gun oil that accompanies the necessary chore of cleaning your firearms, but somehow that never evokes the same sense of enjoyment.)
What do you think: if I buy more guns, can I write off the expense as research?
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Published on January 19, 2020 14:52
A Farrago: Updates, Reviews, and Doings. Resurrected Post.
I hope to cram in a number of items in today���s post. A mishmash of topics. A salmagundi, if you will.
I���ll start with paying off last week���s hints and portents post. What I was dancing around back then was the news that I have a new book out. You can purchase the Kindle version here. The print version will follow soon, and there is an audio version in the works. It is the first in a three-book series. I hope you enjoy it. Reviews are starting to come in and so far they are positive.
The other week MBW was out of town for a couple of days. Once I put the HA to bed it was time for movies. Meaning yet another installment of the Stepson of the Bride of the Too Late Movie Reviews.
First up, Rambo: Last Blood. Will Golan and Globus please collect your child at the refreshment stand? He���s growling and threatening customers with a plastic fork. Seriously, this is a throwback 80���s revenge flick. There���s nothing wrong with it, really. It���s a lengthy set up, followed by some visceral, bone-cracking, blood-spurting action. Chuck Norris could have starred in this thirty-five years ago. It was fine, I suppose, but not exactly a resounding last hurrah for John Rambo.
Next, Fast and Furious Present: Hobbs & Shaw. This is a labrador of a movie: a big, dumb, genial dog of a film that just wants to please you. It flies its characters all over the world (with implausibly short travel windows) and has them engage in extensive, expensive fight scenes while exchanging quips. It is utterly nonsensical, but seems earnest in its desire to bring you along for the ride, seeming to feel that if the script doesn���t care where that ride is going, neither should you. Have you ever noticed that dumber the movie, the more likely it is that the ���theme��� of the story will be family. You���ve got a team of a half-dozen writers assembling a haphazard assortment of action sequences into a screenplay, using paperclips and scotch tape, and when they get near the end and realize there���s no connecting thread or concept they have to go back and toss in some dialogue to convince themselves that their film conveys a message. That gives the actors on the publicity junket a talking point. ���So, Max Strongjaw, what is Bullets and Bikinis IV about?��� ���Well, Tracey, it���s really all about family.��� I mean, it���s fine. Drink enough beer and you���ll probably enjoy it.
Third was Joker. If Rambo: Last Blood is an 80���s flick, Joker is a nihilistic 70���s movie. This is a movie that wants you to know it is important. And it does convey a certain gravitas, leaving you feeling that you���ve seen something seminal. You haven���t though. It is good. I don���t want you to think I didn���t appreciate it. Everything from the performances, the scenery, the cinematography, and the music is top notch. But there really isn���t anything groundbreaking about its portrayal of mental illness and nihilistic narcissism. Easily the best of the three movies I watched.
Yesterday I took MBW and the HA to the Kennedy School for the annual J.R.R. Tolkien Birthday Bash. The HA is starting to take more of an interest. I think I���ll read The Hobbit to her later this year, once she has her seventh birthday. She���ll get more out of the Tolkien Birthday Bash next year, once she���s become familiar with Mr. Bilbo Baggins. She had a good time anyways. The costume contest was a highlight, as you can see from the winning entry of The Bridge of Khazad-d��m and what was clearly intended to be a Balrog (though it couldn���t, since Balrogs don���t have wings.)
Published on January 12, 2020 15:46
November 6, 2022
Texas Updates. Plus Savage Journal Entry 16.
It’s been nearly five months since MBW, the HA, and I pulled into the driveway of our new home in Texas. Five months of adjustments, slogging through bureaucracies (both governmental and private), home-improvements, etc. If you’ve moved from one state to another recently, you know what I speak of.
Things are beginning to fall into a comforting routine. The HA has settled into her new school. Though she misses her friends at the old one and occasionally pines for Oregon, she seems to like her new school and (most) of her new classmates. MBW has a new career as a mortgage agent (one of the primary factors driving our move here). She is busy. Unfortunately the high inflation rate we are currently suffering and the concomitant hikes in interest rates to fight it aren’t helping. Yet this too shall pass, unless something breaks the cyclical nature of the economy.
And the swimming pool is (nearly) finished. Huzzah. Just in time for cooler weather. Sigh.
I’m continuing to write. The work in progress is just a few words shy of 110,000 with four more chapters to go. So, with all that on my plate I of course decided to write a short story as well, employing all my copious free time. But when the muse has a stranglehold you just have to cry “Uncle” and get the thing written. First draft done, so I hope she’ll loosen her grasp.
Now, before proceeding on to the next installment of Savage Journal, please consider picking up one of my books. Thank you.
P.S. Note to new readers — if any: You might be seeing a number of posts with the addition of “Resurrected Post” in the title. My site suffered some sort of catastrophe a few months back. That catastrophe took with it years’ worth of web log posts. I found a trove of these lost post elsewhere and have been systematically (more or less) uploading them again. Anyway, on to Magnus Stoneslayer’s diary.
SAVAGE JOURNAL
ENTRY 16.
I spend a great deal of time alone, dear diary, as a wandering barbarian swordsman will. Given so much time for introspection I believe I have achieved a reasonably solid self-knowledge. I have lived long in the company of men as well, either in various armies or outlaw bands, or thieving and carousing my way through one decadent city after another teeming with men, good, bad, and indifferent. So I have a fair understanding of men.
Now, I hate to resort to clich��, dear diary, but women are another matter. Sometimes I think I have them pegged. Other times they are completely unfathomable. (Speaking of unfathomable, a brief aside: do you recall Yaslina, the young woman to whom, along with her companion the wizard Vetrius, I gave an escort through the northern wilderness? A caravan master in his cups held forth on news from the north and he let fall that a certain chancellor of the Zantian Empire was in a frenzy over his missing daughter ��� one Yaslina ��� and her trusted companion Vetrius. (Trusted? A wizard? I ask you.) End of digression.)
I mention the perfidiousness of women ��� all right, I did not use the word perfidious, I employed unfathomable, but perfidious best fits the following anecdote ��� because I have just dealt with a duplicitous, diabolical specimen of the conniving sex. A tavern girl, a working girl, a practitioner of the oldest profession ���pick the euphemism you prefer. She was a beauty: red hair to mid-thigh gleaming like polished bronze, ample in the proper locations, gracile, ruby lipped. Have I sketched her sufficiently?
Well, she accepted my coin readily enough and took in my broad shoulders with appreciative eyes. So the double dealing was unexpected. I’m not referring to another man. I could no more object to her taking on another client than I could to a publican drawing a tankard for the next drinker in queue at the bar. No, my objection is to her allowing two accomplices to enter the room while I slept and lay hands on my belt pouch and sword. Of course, I sleep as lightly as a jungle cat and in a trice I threw one bravo through a wall with my right hand while I crushed the throat of the other with my left.
Leaving me to deal with the woman. Now, I hold to a rough, barbaric chivalry. I do not war on women. Why? Perhaps as a savage I am subconsciously aware that the survival of the tribe depends upon women producing the next generation of warriors. I will ponder that at length some other time. But this rude nicety of mine, this discriminating peccadillo, left me with a dilemma. To resolve it, I grasped her by her shimmering locks, tugged hard, pulling back her head, stretching taught her coppery glory, drew my dagger, and cut ��� leaving a ragged, uneven stubble atop her naked pate.
I wonder, dear diary, how much silver I can get for these tresses from a wig maker?
Magnus Stoneslayer
Revelations. Resurrected Post.
The countdown to a book release is for me what the countdown to Christmas is for a kid. I want the day to hurry up and get here. My present is offering something I created to you. I���m so damn noble, ain���t I?
Here is something for you while we���re waiting. It���s the cover. Or rather, the initial cover. My usual Twilight Times cover artist is backlogged. Must be nice to be so popular. But that means he won���t have the cover done in time for the release date. So, instead, we have this excellent temp cover. Pretty snazzy, right?
One benefit for me of having two covers is the opportunity to have a second cover reveal. Multiple revelations, that���s what you get from me.
[NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: This book is now Blood and Jade, available from Aethon Books.]
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Published on October 20, 2019 11:36
The Dreaded Synopsis. Resurrected Post.
I suspect it is an industry standard: the 250, 150, and 50 word synopsis. It may be that some authors, occupying celestial strata I can only dream of, have a publisher���s marketing department write these. I don���t know, I have to do it myself.
The dread synopsis. I can���t be alone in cursing it. A work is technically considered a novel if it exceeds 40,000 words. Most books you pick up are probably in the 65,000 words and up range. The point is, how does one go about summarizing in fifty words a dense narrative of tens or hundreds of thousands of words? What should one highlight? What should one gloss over or ignore? Is there a central theme that resonates? What is the quintessence of the book? What hook will capture a reader���s interest?
And, given that one needs to write three synopses of varying length, what is the best practice? Should one start with the 50-word kernel and build from there? Or is it better to begin with the roomiest synopsis and trim away the excess until only the kernel is left?
Well, as it turns out, I need to engage in this exercise again. Karl Thorson and the Jade Dagger is due for release next month. That means I have the privilege of writing up these marketing synopses. What joy!
So, how to go about it? I think I���m going to start with the 250-word version. That allows me relatively more elbow room, more freedom to include whatever I feel important. And I can procrastinate, push off the agony of paring away ���excess���, as if there can be excess in 250 words. Shall we begin?
���From a car chase through the streets of the Cancun, to gun battles and sorcery deep beneath the Yucatan jungle, Karl Thorson and the Jade Dagger keeps the mayhem and magic boiling from the first chapter to the last. Archaeologists uncovering a lost Mayan city unearth a magic artifact, an exquisite jade dagger. An earthquake disturbs the operations of neighboring narcotraffickers, alerting the two groups to each others��� presence. An ancient sorcerer, his mercenary henchmen, and his butler, arrive to claim the artifact. When these three factions converge, Karl Thorson, ex-Special Forces soldier, now in charge of site security at the Mayan ruins, is thrust into action. Dexicos Megistos, a nigh immortal sorcerer, wants to retrieve the mystical Jade Dagger and use it to cause worldwide chaos. Alejandra Matamoros-Lopez wants to smuggle narcotics through the tunnels beneath the ruins, avoiding the notice of rival cartels. Professor May Chen wants to see if any sparks remain from her relationship with the head of the archaeological dig, Professor Jim Allison. Karl Thorson just wants to do his job, and maybe have a cold beer. Can he safeguard the archaeologists, especially the lovely Professor May Chen? Can he defeat a murderous band of narcotraffickers? And can he deprive the sorcerer Dexicos Megistos of the Jade Dagger? He���ll have to survive heavily armed mercenaries, trigger-happy narcos, and magically summoned monsters in the dark, uncharted, subterranean depths of a lost Mayan city. But if anyone can hope to do it, it is Karl Thorson.���
There we go. 250 words. Well, 249, but who���s counting other than me? So, now we trim a hundred words.
���Archaeologists uncovering a lost Mayan city unearth a magic artifact. An earthquake disturbs the operations of neighboring narcotraffickers. An ancient sorcerer and his mercenary henchmen arrive to claim the artifact. When these three factions converge, Karl Thorson, ex-Special Forces soldier, now in charge of site security at the Mayan ruins, is thrust into action. Dexicos Megistos, a nigh immortal sorcerer, wants to retrieve a mystical Jade Dagger. Alejandra Matamoros-Lopez wants to smuggle narcotics through the tunnels beneath the ruins, avoiding the notice of rival cartels. Professor May Chen wants to see if any sparks remain from her relationship with the head of the archaeological dig. Karl Thorson just wants to do his job, and maybe have a cold beer. Can he safeguard the archaeologists, especially the lovely Professor May Chen? Can he defeat a murderous band of narcotraffickers? And can he deprive the sorcerer Dexicos Megistos of the Jade Dagger?���
There, 150. The opening line was a nice hook, but could be dispensed with to jump right into the meat of the matter. And the last bit was extra detail, information expanding on hints already provided. Prune a bit from the middle, and we���re down to 150. So, now to chop out another 100 words, leaving, I hope, only the essence.
���Archaeologists uncovering a Mayan city unearth a magic artifact. An earthquake disturbs the operations of neighboring narcotraffickers. An ancient sorcerer and his mercenaries arrive to claim the artifact. When these three factions converge, Karl Thorson, ex-Special Forces soldier, in charge of security at the Mayan ruins, is thrust into action.���
Okay, I think that does it. We cover the three main factions, establish that this is a contemporary action-fantasy, hint at the overall plot, and introduce the main character.
What do you think?
[NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: This book is now Blood and Jade, the first volume of the Semi-Autos and Sorcery series.]
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Published on October 13, 2019 13:00
The Distant Cousin of the Son of the Return of the Too Late Movie Reviews. Resurrected Post.
MBW is away on business. Thus, as you may have guessed by now, this web log post will consist of movie reviews.
The HA stayed at home with me. Thus I was unable to indulge in lengthy film binges, having to wait until I���d put the HA to bed before starting the evening���s flick. So, only three entries for you, reader, this time.
First up, John Wick: Chapter 3 ��� Parabellum. The first two movies constructed a unique, stylized fictional universe. The third film was thus able to dispense with any exposition or world building and dives right into what is essentially two hours worth of fight scenes. And I was okay with that. The character arcs, plot, and world building were innocuous, too stylish and fresh to be pedestrian, but still consisting of recognizable genre trope. The second film indulged itself in expanding the mythology of this world. I cared less for the second film, but it did perform all the heavy lifting needed for the third film.
Look, the entire thing was silly. No one had any real motivation, no character was provided a believable backstory. The plot made no sense, the screenwriters didn���t even bother creating segues between scenes. And none of that mattered. Watching Keanue Reeves kill several dozen foes in creative fashion over the course of the running time was sheer pleasure.
We seem to be set for the fourth installment, wherein John Wick takes down the Continental. My guess: the Concierge will switch sides at the end, becoming the Manager himself and offering the job of Concierge to John Wick.
Second, Alita: Battle Angel. I am unfamiliar with the source material for this live action anime. If I had been familiar with it, I might not have been so unpleasantly surprised that I did not get a complete story. Instead this appears to be part one of an epic that will probably never get part two. Other than that, I suppose I have few complaints about this Rollerball (the remake) meets Real Steel meets the CliffsNotes version of Ghost in the Shell. It was, in keeping with recent James Cameron tradition, pretty but stupid, aided by Robert Rodriguez���s kinetic direction. I had no expectations for this film. For the best, since there is little substance. The world doesn���t make much sense, but it doesn���t really need to in order to provide a backdrop for wild Rock ���em Sock ���em Robots action. So, meh. But on the enjoyable side of meh.
Third, X-Men: Dark Phoenix. It has been decades since I read this story arc in the comics. As I recall it was a vast, galaxy spanning epic in which entire planetary civilizations were destroyed. (Correct me if I misremember.) This adaptation shows either a lack of budget, or an utter lack of imagination from the film makers. This is a wet squib of a film. It conveys no sense of peril. The cast of dozens fails to convince the audience of any iminent consequences. It doesn���t help that so many events are supposed to be internal, as indicated by the actors emoting with contorted features. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender perform heroically, which is impressive given the paucity of material they had to work with. Sophie Turner, however, doesn���t seem up to the task of carrying the lead role. Other than getting Jennifer Lawrence out of having to reprise her role in any future X-Men outings, there seems little point to this entire film.
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Published on October 06, 2019 15:36
Sail Hull-up. Resurrected Post.
There is a comfortable pleasure in revisiting books. This is especially true in the case of the Aubrey and Maturin novels by Patrick O���Brian. Each book is an immersive wallow in a warm bath. And when you consider the length of the series, you realize what an indulgence awaits.
Perhaps I ought to step back a minute. It is possible that not everyone is familiar with the inimitable Mr. O���Brian���s masterpiece. The Aubrey and Maturin novels are set during the era of the Napoleonic wars, and feature the British naval officer Jack Aubrey and his friend, the surgeon and intelligence agent Stephen Maturin. There are twenty novels in the series. I���m currently in the midst of The Commodore, the seventeenth book. (That somewhat saddens me, the consideration that I only have three more to go. Four, if you count the unfinished fragment known as 21.) The novels are un-rushed examinations of nineteenth century British life, the navy, ships, naval warfare, then-current scientific knowledge, and human nature. The recurrent, fully-developed characters, repeated events and expressions become familiar and welcoming. I recommend the series, in case I haven���t yet made my approval plain.
It might be that some are only familiar with the works from the film adaptation, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. This is an excellent film. I���ve watched it many times. It is not, as the name might suggest, an adaptation of the novels Master and Commander and The Far Side of the World. Instead, it is a new story, combining elements from many ��� perhaps all ��� of the books, creating composite characters, and freely shifting around events. It is a masterful example of adapting the essence of a work rather than adhering faithfully to the original.
I���ve wondered at the title of the film. I suppose it couldn���t be called merely Master and Commander since that might lead an audience to believe it adapted that novel, which it clearly does not. Nor, could it be called Far Side of the World ��� even though that is a more apt description of the events ��� for the same reason. There isn���t, to my knowledge, an official title for the series. The producers couldn���t very well title the film The Aubrey and Maturin Novels. So, I suppose the name chosen conveys the idea that the film is a loose adaptation of multiple novels as well as could be hoped. Still, I wonder. There might be a better title.
But, to return to the film, I also recommend it. As an admirer of the novels, I quibble at the casting, but only because I cannot help but think of the characters as described. I have no complaints regarding the skills of the actors chosen. They all performed admirably. But if you consider Billy Boyd portraying someone described as large and muscular, you���ll see what I mean. And then there is Paul Bettany cast as Stephen Maturin. Maturin, in the novels, is short, slight, and far from handsome. Mr. Bettany appears to be relatively tall. And I���m probably no judge of such matters, but wouldn���t the expression conventionally good-looking apply?
I���d say the character of Stephen Maturin gets short shrift in the film. The storyline doesn���t provide an opportunity to explore his role as a naval intelligence agent. We do get to see his interest in natural philosophy and his surgical skills. But there is little reference to his Catholicisim, or his Irish-Catalonian background. And Jack Aubrey is also robbed of a chance to round out his character: he is shown only in his capacity as a naval officer and thus we don���t get to see his shortcomings dealing with civilian life ashore.
If I sound critical, I apologize. I don���t mean to. The film is terrific. There is only so much from a twenty-novel series that you can cram into a single movie. The screen-writers performed admirably. If you haven���t yet watched this, go pick up a copy.
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Published on September 29, 2019 12:13
Homestretch. Resurrected Post.
A moment���s digression before I begin: Happy Birthday Bilbo and Frodo! I wonder, on this wet and drizzly first day of autumn if Tolkien deliberately chose the fall equinox for the Baggins��� joint birthday. Perhaps it was a question of age, both hobbits having entered their autumnal years, if you will, before embarking on their adventures. I don���t know. Any suggestions, readers?
Karl Thorson and the Jade Dagger is in the homestretch. I���m reading the digital galley proofs. I���ve found far fewer corrections to make in this book than any of my previous novels. Perhaps because this one has been so extensively reviewed. Three different editors. Man, have I added, removed, and replaced commas. Every editor, it seems, practices a distinct brand of comma-fu. The point is, the book is nearly ready. I should be finished with my final pass by next week. The novel appears on target for the mid-November release date.
Except���Well, there might be a bit of a hitch. Word is that the cover artist has a backlog of work. Conceivably I might hear from the publisher that the release date will be pushed back. I hope not. But it is out of my hands. In fact, it is in the cover artist���s hands, I suppose.
I���m not going to worry about it. I have plenty of other projects to occupy my attention. More on those when I have something noteworthy to mention.
Enjoy the fall.
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Published on September 22, 2019 15:39
