Steven J. Pemberton's Blog, page 11
July 1, 2018
June's writing progress
I didn't write any new words this month, but I did finish recording the audiobook of Dust & Water. I'm about 90% of the way through editing it. Then I'll have to listen to the whole thing to make sure there are no mistakes and that I'm happy with the pacing. Then I have to master it (process the audio so that it meets the distributor's submission requirements). Fortunately I've managed to automate most of this last step. Then I send it off to the distributor, and it should be available before the end of July.
Our town has been staging its annual festival over the last fortnight, and our writers' group took part in a few events. We walked in the parade and got second place in the "walking" category (i.e. of the entries that weren't on a float). We also entered the quiz and came third out of twelve teams, which we were quite pleased with. Though I'm ashamed to admit none of us knew where Jane Austen was born...
Our town has been staging its annual festival over the last fortnight, and our writers' group took part in a few events. We walked in the parade and got second place in the "walking" category (i.e. of the entries that weren't on a float). We also entered the quiz and came third out of twelve teams, which we were quite pleased with. Though I'm ashamed to admit none of us knew where Jane Austen was born...
May 31, 2018
May's writing progress
I wrote another 4500 words of my "War of the Gods" story, which now stands at 35,500 words. I still don't know how long it's going to be when it's finished.
I edited the material I recorded for the audiobook of Dust & Water last month, so now I have to resume recording. I found a few more small continuity errors - fortunately nothing that breaks the plot.
The local writers' group attended the first outdoor event of the year, which of course got rained off, though not before we'd sold a few books. Ah well...
I edited the material I recorded for the audiobook of Dust & Water last month, so now I have to resume recording. I found a few more small continuity errors - fortunately nothing that breaks the plot.
The local writers' group attended the first outdoor event of the year, which of course got rained off, though not before we'd sold a few books. Ah well...
May 15, 2018
So we finally made it to Dublin
A visit to Dublin has been on my (embarrassingly humble) bucket list for some years. Last month, we went to Ireland for the wedding of one of Breda's cousins, and decided to spend a week in Dublin afterwards, rather than staying with Breda's family as we usually do.
We stayed at the Pembroke Townhouse in Ballsbridge, which is a little way out of the city centre, but close enough to the places we wanted to see. As I mentioned in my previous post, part of the appeal of it was that the reception area was fairly quiet (no TV), meaning that I could sit there in the evening and do some writing.
For most of the first two days, we mainly used one of the hop-on, hop-off sightseeing buses to get around. In hindsight, this was a mistake, as the service we chose had quite a long route and didn't stop at many of the places we wanted to see. It also wasn't very punctual - the website claimed it ran every 15 minutes, but I don't think we ever waited less than that for a bus to arrive.
We didn't get to see everything we wanted, but we saw a few things we didn't know about beforehand, so it balanced out. Dublin is small enough that most of the places we visited were within walking distance of one another, or just a short bus or tram ride away.
The first place we visited was the GPO (General Post Office) in O'Connell Street. This is famous mainly because it was the rebel HQ during the Easter Rising of 1916. I was vaguely aware that it's a memorial to the Rising and those who died in it, so I was surprised to find that it's also still a functioning post office. Downstairs is a museum about the Rising, its causes and aftermath. This does a good job of explaining what happened and why, though their speaker systems could use some work. They have several videos running on loops, one of which has a lot of gunfire and explosions, and the sound from these tends to travel quite a long way from where the screens are.
The next day, I went to the Dublin Writers Museum. (Breda returned to the GPO, not having seen everything the day before.) Ireland has a rich literary tradition, and this museum packs a lot of it into a small space. The audio guide is included in the ticket price, and mainly provides edited highlights if you don't have the time or the inclination to read all the labels.
Pretty much everyone we asked what to see in Dublin said we should do the Guinness Storehouse, a museum and behind-the-scenes tour of the Guinness brewery. It left me somewhat underwhelmed, though this isn't entirely the attraction's fault. Neither of us is particularly fond of beer, and we had timed tickets for the next place we were going, so we had to go round quicker than we would have liked. It was the most expensive attraction we visited, and most of the tour is unguided (though since we were in a hurry, this wasn't as much of a disadvantage as it might otherwise have been).
The highlight for me was the tasting session, where you learn how to drink Guinness properly. It's not meant to be sipped, because if you do that, you mainly get the head, which doesn't taste very nice on its own. Instead, you should breathe in, take a mouthful, let it lie on your tongue for a couple of seconds to appreciate all the different flavours, swallow, then breathe out. It's not so bad once you get used to it ;-)
The reason we had to rush around the Guinness Storehouse was that we had timed tickets for Kilmainham Gaol. This building will be forever associated with the rebellions of the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries, as many of the rebel leaders were held here after they surrendered, and in most cases were executed here. After it closed in 1924, it lay derelict until the 1960s, when it was restored as a museum. The guided tour (included in the price) is short but informative.
The next day, we trudged through a downpour along the bank of the River Liffey to reach the Jeanie Johnston, a replica of a "coffin ship" that took people from Ireland to seek a better life in North America during the Great Famine of the mid-19th century. They were called "coffin ships" because not every passenger survived the journey - already weakened by hunger, they were vulnerable to diseases like cholera and typhoid, which could spread quickly in the overcrowded and unsanitary conditions that were common on board. The original Jeanie Johnston was unusual in that all 2500 of the people she carried on her 16 voyages across the Atlantic lived. This is largely thanks to the ship's doctor, who refused to allow anyone on board who had any signs of illness.
Our final stop was Trinity College, home to the famous Book of Kells. There was quite a long queue to get in - I finished reading one book on my Kindle, and had time to read the sample of another and decide to buy it. The exhibition about the making of the book was more impressive than the book itself. The curators open it to different pages over the weeks and months, and the pages we saw were mostly text, with a little decoration on the capitals.
After the book, we saw the Long Room, the college's old library, which is the largest single-room library in the world. The cataloguing system is unusual, at least for anyone accustomed to the Dewey Decimal System. The books are organised into broad subject areas, but within those, they're shelved by size - tall books on the lower shelves, short ones on the upper. I suppose it makes the librarians' jobs easier when they have to climb ladders to reach the top shelves.
I paid a brief visit to the Science Gallery, a small exhibition space on the edge of the campus that hosts temporary exhibitions exploring the intersections between science and art. The current exhibition is about real versus fake, and how the distinction between the two isn't always clear. Everything in the exhibition is fake in some way or another. Probably the most unusual is a "fake fake" alien corpse. Readers of a certain age might recall a film that surfaced a few years ago, purporting to show an autopsy being carried out on an alien who'd been killed when his (her? its?) spaceship crashed on Earth. (The film was fake, of course, and the alien was a prop made in a special effects workshop.) Soon after the film was released, before it had been revealed as a fake, someone came forward with an alien prop that they claimed had been used in the film. Except that it wasn't the one used in the film, but one they'd made themselves in an effort to discredit the film - a fake fake.
And that was all we had time for. We'll probably go back, and who knows - we might actually plan it next time!
We stayed at the Pembroke Townhouse in Ballsbridge, which is a little way out of the city centre, but close enough to the places we wanted to see. As I mentioned in my previous post, part of the appeal of it was that the reception area was fairly quiet (no TV), meaning that I could sit there in the evening and do some writing.
For most of the first two days, we mainly used one of the hop-on, hop-off sightseeing buses to get around. In hindsight, this was a mistake, as the service we chose had quite a long route and didn't stop at many of the places we wanted to see. It also wasn't very punctual - the website claimed it ran every 15 minutes, but I don't think we ever waited less than that for a bus to arrive.
We didn't get to see everything we wanted, but we saw a few things we didn't know about beforehand, so it balanced out. Dublin is small enough that most of the places we visited were within walking distance of one another, or just a short bus or tram ride away.
The first place we visited was the GPO (General Post Office) in O'Connell Street. This is famous mainly because it was the rebel HQ during the Easter Rising of 1916. I was vaguely aware that it's a memorial to the Rising and those who died in it, so I was surprised to find that it's also still a functioning post office. Downstairs is a museum about the Rising, its causes and aftermath. This does a good job of explaining what happened and why, though their speaker systems could use some work. They have several videos running on loops, one of which has a lot of gunfire and explosions, and the sound from these tends to travel quite a long way from where the screens are.
The next day, I went to the Dublin Writers Museum. (Breda returned to the GPO, not having seen everything the day before.) Ireland has a rich literary tradition, and this museum packs a lot of it into a small space. The audio guide is included in the ticket price, and mainly provides edited highlights if you don't have the time or the inclination to read all the labels.
Pretty much everyone we asked what to see in Dublin said we should do the Guinness Storehouse, a museum and behind-the-scenes tour of the Guinness brewery. It left me somewhat underwhelmed, though this isn't entirely the attraction's fault. Neither of us is particularly fond of beer, and we had timed tickets for the next place we were going, so we had to go round quicker than we would have liked. It was the most expensive attraction we visited, and most of the tour is unguided (though since we were in a hurry, this wasn't as much of a disadvantage as it might otherwise have been).
The highlight for me was the tasting session, where you learn how to drink Guinness properly. It's not meant to be sipped, because if you do that, you mainly get the head, which doesn't taste very nice on its own. Instead, you should breathe in, take a mouthful, let it lie on your tongue for a couple of seconds to appreciate all the different flavours, swallow, then breathe out. It's not so bad once you get used to it ;-)
The reason we had to rush around the Guinness Storehouse was that we had timed tickets for Kilmainham Gaol. This building will be forever associated with the rebellions of the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries, as many of the rebel leaders were held here after they surrendered, and in most cases were executed here. After it closed in 1924, it lay derelict until the 1960s, when it was restored as a museum. The guided tour (included in the price) is short but informative.
The next day, we trudged through a downpour along the bank of the River Liffey to reach the Jeanie Johnston, a replica of a "coffin ship" that took people from Ireland to seek a better life in North America during the Great Famine of the mid-19th century. They were called "coffin ships" because not every passenger survived the journey - already weakened by hunger, they were vulnerable to diseases like cholera and typhoid, which could spread quickly in the overcrowded and unsanitary conditions that were common on board. The original Jeanie Johnston was unusual in that all 2500 of the people she carried on her 16 voyages across the Atlantic lived. This is largely thanks to the ship's doctor, who refused to allow anyone on board who had any signs of illness.
Our final stop was Trinity College, home to the famous Book of Kells. There was quite a long queue to get in - I finished reading one book on my Kindle, and had time to read the sample of another and decide to buy it. The exhibition about the making of the book was more impressive than the book itself. The curators open it to different pages over the weeks and months, and the pages we saw were mostly text, with a little decoration on the capitals.
After the book, we saw the Long Room, the college's old library, which is the largest single-room library in the world. The cataloguing system is unusual, at least for anyone accustomed to the Dewey Decimal System. The books are organised into broad subject areas, but within those, they're shelved by size - tall books on the lower shelves, short ones on the upper. I suppose it makes the librarians' jobs easier when they have to climb ladders to reach the top shelves.
I paid a brief visit to the Science Gallery, a small exhibition space on the edge of the campus that hosts temporary exhibitions exploring the intersections between science and art. The current exhibition is about real versus fake, and how the distinction between the two isn't always clear. Everything in the exhibition is fake in some way or another. Probably the most unusual is a "fake fake" alien corpse. Readers of a certain age might recall a film that surfaced a few years ago, purporting to show an autopsy being carried out on an alien who'd been killed when his (her? its?) spaceship crashed on Earth. (The film was fake, of course, and the alien was a prop made in a special effects workshop.) Soon after the film was released, before it had been revealed as a fake, someone came forward with an alien prop that they claimed had been used in the film. Except that it wasn't the one used in the film, but one they'd made themselves in an effort to discredit the film - a fake fake.
And that was all we had time for. We'll probably go back, and who knows - we might actually plan it next time!
April 30, 2018
April's Writing Progress
I finished the audio version of
Simon and the Birthday Wish
that I mentioned last month, and it's now on sale from most audiobook retailers. I was pleasantly surprised to realise how much faster I've become at audiobook production since I started. The first one I did,
The Accidental Dragonrider
in 2015, which is a similar length to this one, took two and a half months to record, edit and get accepted by the distributor. This one took a week, and that included some time to write a couple of computer programs to make the process smoother.
I started another audiobook, this one of Dust & Water. I'm about a third of the way through recording that.
Our local writers' group held a couple more book signings, one of them to raise money for Cancer Research UK.
Breda and I were on holiday for the latter part of the month, officially for the wedding of one of her cousins. After that, we had a week in Dublin (finally!). More about that in the next post, but for now, the relevant point is that I found somewhere I wouldn't be disturbed in the evenings (the hotel lobby) and managed to write 4500 words of my "war of the gods" story. That now stands at 31,000 words, so I think I was probably right not to include it in the Barefoot Healer omnibus...
I started another audiobook, this one of Dust & Water. I'm about a third of the way through recording that.
Our local writers' group held a couple more book signings, one of them to raise money for Cancer Research UK.
Breda and I were on holiday for the latter part of the month, officially for the wedding of one of her cousins. After that, we had a week in Dublin (finally!). More about that in the next post, but for now, the relevant point is that I found somewhere I wouldn't be disturbed in the evenings (the hotel lobby) and managed to write 4500 words of my "war of the gods" story. That now stands at 31,000 words, so I think I was probably right not to include it in the Barefoot Healer omnibus...
April 1, 2018
March's writing progress
A few weeks ago, I finally published the children's book that I've been teasing you about for the last year or more. (See my previous post for the release announcement.) It's currently in print and ebook. I took advantage of the Easter holiday to record an audiobook of it, which I'm now editing. That should be done in a few weeks.
Work continues on my "War of the Gods" story, which now stands at about 22,000 words. I'm maybe half to two-thirds of the way through it. Then I'll make a start on the sequel to The Mirrors of Elangir (which I should've begun in January, but hey).
Work continues on my "War of the Gods" story, which now stands at about 22,000 words. I'm maybe half to two-thirds of the way through it. Then I'll make a start on the sequel to The Mirrors of Elangir (which I should've begun in January, but hey).
March 4, 2018
My children's book is on sale!
My children's book, Simon and the Birthday Wish, is now on sale from Amazon. This is the cover, drawn and coloured by yours truly:
What Simon wanted for his seventh birthday was a set of action figures from Planet Patrol, his favourite cartoon. What he got was a tatty second-hand teddy bear.
What Simon doesn't know is that the teddy bear is alive and can do magic.
What the bear doesn't know is that he's not as good at magic as he thinks he is.
When the bear tries to grant a wish for Simon, everything goes wrong, and poor Simon's life is turned inside out, upside down, and sideways. Will things ever go back to the way they were?
Here are the links to buy it:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B75PQ9B (USA) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07B75PQ9B (UK)
It's on its way to other retailers as I write this post. Currently it's ebook only, but I'm working on a print edition, which should be available in a week or so.
Keep reading for a peek at the first chapter...
Simon Thwaite was sitting with his Daddy in the kitchen one Sunday afternoon when there was a knock at the door.
“Go and see who that is, Simon,” said Daddy.
When Simon opened the door, he saw his best friend Yasmin Campbell, along with her Mummy and Daddy.
“Happy Birthday, Simon,” Yasmin said. She gave him a large blue envelope that she’d been hiding behind her back.
Simon smiled and thanked her. He was seven today, finally. He was the youngest in his class at school, and was tired of the other children teasing him about being shorter than everyone else.
Inside the envelope was a card with characters from Simon’s favourite cartoon, Planet Patrol, all wishing him an out-of-this-world birthday.
Daddy came out of the kitchen and greeted Yasmin and her parents. “Come in,” he said.
They followed Daddy into the kitchen. While Simon had been at the door, Daddy had brought out a big birthday cake that he’d hidden in a cupboard. Everyone sang Happy Birthday, then Simon took a deep breath and blew out all the candles on the cake.
“Make a wish,” said Yasmin’s Daddy.
“Don’t tell anyone what it is,” Simon’s Daddy added.
What to wish for? Simon wondered. After some thought, he wished that Daddy could spend more time with him.
Yasmin’s Mummy cut the cake, leaving enough for anyone who wanted a second slice to have one. Daddy took care of the drinks—fizzy pop for the children, tea for the grown-ups.
The cake was delicious, with strawberry-flavoured icing on top and plenty of strawberry jam in the middle. Simon ate his slice as slowly as he could, but it still seemed to be finished too soon. Daddy cut some more slices for Simon, Yasmin and himself. Yasmin’s parents didn’t want another, even after Daddy asked them twice.
After Simon and Yasmin had eaten their second slices, Daddy told them to go and wash their hands. They did, and when they came back from the bathroom, the cups, plates and leftover cake had been cleared away. In their place were two more birthday cards and two wrapped-up presents.
One of the cards was from Daddy, and the other was from Joan, Simon’s big sister, who was away at university. That one had a book token for ten pounds in it.
“Now you can open your presents,” said Daddy.
Simon made a show of deciding which one to open first. One was small and oblong, wrapped in paper with trains on. The other was larger and odd-shaped, in left-over Christmas wrapping paper. He picked the small one, which was from Yasmin and her parents. It was a Captain Jones action figure from Planet Patrol. According to the box, it came with the Captain’s Rocket Pack and a Proton Pistol, which was the weapon he used for zapping enemies.
“This is really cool,” said Simon. “Thank you.” He held up the figure and pointed it at Yasmin. Doing his best to imitate the Captain’s voice, he said, “Activating scanners. Hostile alien life form detected. Open fire!”
The grown-ups laughed. Yasmin gave him a scowl that told him she’d get him back later.
Simon picked up the present from Daddy and tried to guess what it was. He pressed it, finding it soft. He shook it. It didn’t rattle. He looked for gaps in the wrapping, but couldn’t see any. What could it be? He didn’t think any of the action figures from Planet Patrol were this shape. He tore off the wrapping paper.
Inside was a brown teddy bear with one eye missing and some fur gone from the top of his head.
“Oh,” said Simon.
“Do you like it?” Daddy asked.
Simon knew you were supposed to answer a question like that with, “Yes,” so he did. But really—a teddy bear? Not even a new one? What was Daddy thinking?
Daddy’s phone rang. Daddy answered it and spoke quietly. Simon heard him say, “But it’s my son’s birthday,” before he went quiet again. He ended the call and told everyone, “I need to go into work for a couple of hours.”
“I thought you didn’t work on Sundays,” Yasmin’s Daddy said.
“Normally I don’t,” said Daddy, “but a few people have called in sick, and a big delivery’s just come in.” Daddy worked in a nearby supermarket, moving things from the warehouse at the back onto the shelves for customers to buy. Simon had wondered whether it would be simpler to let the customers go around the warehouse, but then Daddy wouldn’t have a job.
“So is the party over?” Simon asked. It had barely started.
Before Daddy could answer, Yasmin’s Mummy said, “We’ll mind him until you come back.”
“Thank you,” said Daddy, looking happier than Simon had seen him for a while. To Simon, he said, “You be good, now.”
“Yes Daddy,” said Simon.
Yasmin lived in the same block of flats as Simon, three doors down. Yasmin’s Mummy gave them some orange juice and biscuits, then Yasmin and Simon went to play in Yasmin’s room. It was the same size as Simon’s, but looked smaller, because of all the furniture and toys.
“We can play Planet Patrol now,” Yasmin said.
“With only one character?” said Simon.
She picked up a doll with a big head and long blonde hair. “Trudy can be what’s-her-name—Captain Jones’ girlfriend.”
Simon scowled. “Doctor Alex is not Captain Jones’ girlfriend.”
Yasmin raised her eyebrows. “You must be watching a different Planet Patrol from me, then.”
They sat on Yasmin’s bed and started making up a story. Five minutes into it, Yasmin asked, “What about Teddy?”
“There aren’t any teddy bears in Planet Patrol,” said Simon.
“How do you know?” Yasmin asked. “Just because you’ve never seen one, doesn’t mean there aren’t. It’s a big ol’ universe out there.” That was something Captain Jones said whenever he met a particularly weird kind of alien for the first time.
Simon sighed. “I suppose he can be some new alien they’ve never seen before. Or a giant robot.”
“Is he a good guy or a bad guy?” said Yasmin.
“Could one of yours be a bad guy?” Simon asked.
Yasmin shook her head. Simon knew she didn’t like any of her toys being the enemy, as they were more likely to get bashed about.
Simon picked up the teddy and studied him. He noticed now that some of the stitches around his shoulder were loose. “I’m sorry Teddy, but it looks like you’re the villain. I hope you’re good at doing evil laughter.”
“You can’t call him ‘Teddy,’” said Yasmin.
“Why not?”
“It’s what he is, not his name. It’d be like calling Trudy ‘Doll.’ Or you ‘Boy.’”
Simon wasn’t keen on giving a name to a toy he hadn’t wanted, so he said the first thing that came into his head. “Zac.”
Yasmin sniggered. “The sheriff’s horse in Cowboy Tales?”
Simon had completely forgotten about that uncool old show since he started watching Planet Patrol. On the other hand, this was an uncool old teddy bear, so maybe the name fit…
“Zac,” he said firmly.
“Whatever,” said Yasmin, not wanting to argue.
They carried on the story, bringing Zac into it as a giant bear-shaped alien with lasers for eyes who’d invaded a space station and was eating all its food. The good guys defeated him when Doctor Alex noticed he hadn’t eaten some left-over birthday cake and worked out he must be allergic to it. Captain Jones used his rocket pack to fly up to the alien and lob the birthday cake into his mouth. He screamed and thrashed about for a bit, then melted.
“Melted?” said Yasmin.
“Why not?” said Simon. “He’s an alien. Who says he can’t have a weird way of dying?”
Simon’s Daddy knocked on the bedroom door. “Time to go home, son.”
Simon had lost track of what time it was—he’d been there for hours. He thanked Yasmin and her parents for the present. Daddy thanked them for looking after Simon at such short notice, then Simon and Daddy went home.
Inside the front door, Daddy yawned and said, “I’m going to have a bath, then I think I’ll go to bed. Do you want to watch a DVD?”
“OK,” Simon replied.
“Finish the pop if you like—it’ll only be flat tomorrow.”
After Daddy had gone into the bathroom, Simon went to the kitchen. He filled a glass with what was left of the pop and took it to the living room. As he watched the DVD, he drank the pop a sip at a time, not wanting any of it to come out of his nose if he laughed.
Halfway through the DVD, he paused it. He hadn’t laughed once.
What was wrong? It was his birthday. Birthdays were supposed to be happy. There was even a song about it. Why wasn’t he happy?
His big sister Joan could probably answer that. She was the clever one of the family. But she wasn’t due back from university for another week or two. Simon thought about phoning her, but Daddy was always grumbling about how expensive that was.
Simon decided to go to bed instead of staying up and feeling sorry for himself. He brushed his teeth and changed into his pyjamas. Maybe he’d have a nice dream, he thought as he lay down and turned off his bedside light.
What Simon wanted for his seventh birthday was a set of action figures from Planet Patrol, his favourite cartoon. What he got was a tatty second-hand teddy bear.
What Simon doesn't know is that the teddy bear is alive and can do magic.
What the bear doesn't know is that he's not as good at magic as he thinks he is.
When the bear tries to grant a wish for Simon, everything goes wrong, and poor Simon's life is turned inside out, upside down, and sideways. Will things ever go back to the way they were?
Here are the links to buy it:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B75PQ9B (USA) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07B75PQ9B (UK)
It's on its way to other retailers as I write this post. Currently it's ebook only, but I'm working on a print edition, which should be available in a week or so.
Keep reading for a peek at the first chapter...
Simon Thwaite was sitting with his Daddy in the kitchen one Sunday afternoon when there was a knock at the door.
“Go and see who that is, Simon,” said Daddy.
When Simon opened the door, he saw his best friend Yasmin Campbell, along with her Mummy and Daddy.
“Happy Birthday, Simon,” Yasmin said. She gave him a large blue envelope that she’d been hiding behind her back.
Simon smiled and thanked her. He was seven today, finally. He was the youngest in his class at school, and was tired of the other children teasing him about being shorter than everyone else.
Inside the envelope was a card with characters from Simon’s favourite cartoon, Planet Patrol, all wishing him an out-of-this-world birthday.
Daddy came out of the kitchen and greeted Yasmin and her parents. “Come in,” he said.
They followed Daddy into the kitchen. While Simon had been at the door, Daddy had brought out a big birthday cake that he’d hidden in a cupboard. Everyone sang Happy Birthday, then Simon took a deep breath and blew out all the candles on the cake.
“Make a wish,” said Yasmin’s Daddy.
“Don’t tell anyone what it is,” Simon’s Daddy added.
What to wish for? Simon wondered. After some thought, he wished that Daddy could spend more time with him.
Yasmin’s Mummy cut the cake, leaving enough for anyone who wanted a second slice to have one. Daddy took care of the drinks—fizzy pop for the children, tea for the grown-ups.
The cake was delicious, with strawberry-flavoured icing on top and plenty of strawberry jam in the middle. Simon ate his slice as slowly as he could, but it still seemed to be finished too soon. Daddy cut some more slices for Simon, Yasmin and himself. Yasmin’s parents didn’t want another, even after Daddy asked them twice.
After Simon and Yasmin had eaten their second slices, Daddy told them to go and wash their hands. They did, and when they came back from the bathroom, the cups, plates and leftover cake had been cleared away. In their place were two more birthday cards and two wrapped-up presents.
One of the cards was from Daddy, and the other was from Joan, Simon’s big sister, who was away at university. That one had a book token for ten pounds in it.
“Now you can open your presents,” said Daddy.
Simon made a show of deciding which one to open first. One was small and oblong, wrapped in paper with trains on. The other was larger and odd-shaped, in left-over Christmas wrapping paper. He picked the small one, which was from Yasmin and her parents. It was a Captain Jones action figure from Planet Patrol. According to the box, it came with the Captain’s Rocket Pack and a Proton Pistol, which was the weapon he used for zapping enemies.
“This is really cool,” said Simon. “Thank you.” He held up the figure and pointed it at Yasmin. Doing his best to imitate the Captain’s voice, he said, “Activating scanners. Hostile alien life form detected. Open fire!”
The grown-ups laughed. Yasmin gave him a scowl that told him she’d get him back later.
Simon picked up the present from Daddy and tried to guess what it was. He pressed it, finding it soft. He shook it. It didn’t rattle. He looked for gaps in the wrapping, but couldn’t see any. What could it be? He didn’t think any of the action figures from Planet Patrol were this shape. He tore off the wrapping paper.
Inside was a brown teddy bear with one eye missing and some fur gone from the top of his head.
“Oh,” said Simon.
“Do you like it?” Daddy asked.
Simon knew you were supposed to answer a question like that with, “Yes,” so he did. But really—a teddy bear? Not even a new one? What was Daddy thinking?
Daddy’s phone rang. Daddy answered it and spoke quietly. Simon heard him say, “But it’s my son’s birthday,” before he went quiet again. He ended the call and told everyone, “I need to go into work for a couple of hours.”
“I thought you didn’t work on Sundays,” Yasmin’s Daddy said.
“Normally I don’t,” said Daddy, “but a few people have called in sick, and a big delivery’s just come in.” Daddy worked in a nearby supermarket, moving things from the warehouse at the back onto the shelves for customers to buy. Simon had wondered whether it would be simpler to let the customers go around the warehouse, but then Daddy wouldn’t have a job.
“So is the party over?” Simon asked. It had barely started.
Before Daddy could answer, Yasmin’s Mummy said, “We’ll mind him until you come back.”
“Thank you,” said Daddy, looking happier than Simon had seen him for a while. To Simon, he said, “You be good, now.”
“Yes Daddy,” said Simon.
Yasmin lived in the same block of flats as Simon, three doors down. Yasmin’s Mummy gave them some orange juice and biscuits, then Yasmin and Simon went to play in Yasmin’s room. It was the same size as Simon’s, but looked smaller, because of all the furniture and toys.
“We can play Planet Patrol now,” Yasmin said.
“With only one character?” said Simon.
She picked up a doll with a big head and long blonde hair. “Trudy can be what’s-her-name—Captain Jones’ girlfriend.”
Simon scowled. “Doctor Alex is not Captain Jones’ girlfriend.”
Yasmin raised her eyebrows. “You must be watching a different Planet Patrol from me, then.”
They sat on Yasmin’s bed and started making up a story. Five minutes into it, Yasmin asked, “What about Teddy?”
“There aren’t any teddy bears in Planet Patrol,” said Simon.
“How do you know?” Yasmin asked. “Just because you’ve never seen one, doesn’t mean there aren’t. It’s a big ol’ universe out there.” That was something Captain Jones said whenever he met a particularly weird kind of alien for the first time.
Simon sighed. “I suppose he can be some new alien they’ve never seen before. Or a giant robot.”
“Is he a good guy or a bad guy?” said Yasmin.
“Could one of yours be a bad guy?” Simon asked.
Yasmin shook her head. Simon knew she didn’t like any of her toys being the enemy, as they were more likely to get bashed about.
Simon picked up the teddy and studied him. He noticed now that some of the stitches around his shoulder were loose. “I’m sorry Teddy, but it looks like you’re the villain. I hope you’re good at doing evil laughter.”
“You can’t call him ‘Teddy,’” said Yasmin.
“Why not?”
“It’s what he is, not his name. It’d be like calling Trudy ‘Doll.’ Or you ‘Boy.’”
Simon wasn’t keen on giving a name to a toy he hadn’t wanted, so he said the first thing that came into his head. “Zac.”
Yasmin sniggered. “The sheriff’s horse in Cowboy Tales?”
Simon had completely forgotten about that uncool old show since he started watching Planet Patrol. On the other hand, this was an uncool old teddy bear, so maybe the name fit…
“Zac,” he said firmly.
“Whatever,” said Yasmin, not wanting to argue.
They carried on the story, bringing Zac into it as a giant bear-shaped alien with lasers for eyes who’d invaded a space station and was eating all its food. The good guys defeated him when Doctor Alex noticed he hadn’t eaten some left-over birthday cake and worked out he must be allergic to it. Captain Jones used his rocket pack to fly up to the alien and lob the birthday cake into his mouth. He screamed and thrashed about for a bit, then melted.
“Melted?” said Yasmin.
“Why not?” said Simon. “He’s an alien. Who says he can’t have a weird way of dying?”
Simon’s Daddy knocked on the bedroom door. “Time to go home, son.”
Simon had lost track of what time it was—he’d been there for hours. He thanked Yasmin and her parents for the present. Daddy thanked them for looking after Simon at such short notice, then Simon and Daddy went home.
Inside the front door, Daddy yawned and said, “I’m going to have a bath, then I think I’ll go to bed. Do you want to watch a DVD?”
“OK,” Simon replied.
“Finish the pop if you like—it’ll only be flat tomorrow.”
After Daddy had gone into the bathroom, Simon went to the kitchen. He filled a glass with what was left of the pop and took it to the living room. As he watched the DVD, he drank the pop a sip at a time, not wanting any of it to come out of his nose if he laughed.
Halfway through the DVD, he paused it. He hadn’t laughed once.
What was wrong? It was his birthday. Birthdays were supposed to be happy. There was even a song about it. Why wasn’t he happy?
His big sister Joan could probably answer that. She was the clever one of the family. But she wasn’t due back from university for another week or two. Simon thought about phoning her, but Daddy was always grumbling about how expensive that was.
Simon decided to go to bed instead of staying up and feeling sorry for himself. He brushed his teeth and changed into his pyjamas. Maybe he’d have a nice dream, he thought as he lay down and turned off his bedside light.
February 27, 2018
February's writing progress
The charity anthologies that I mentioned a few weeks ago are now on sale. They are:
One Million Project Fiction Anthology: 40 fabulous short tales compiled by Jason Greenfield
One Million Project: Thriller Anthology
One Million Project Fantasy Anthology: 40 fantastic short tales compiled by Jason Greenfield
My story, History Lesson, is in the last of these. I made a video trailer for it, which you can watch here.
I finished drawing the illustrations for Simon and the Birthday Wish, my children's book, and have done most of the retouching in the computer. It should be on sale soon. I shot a timelapse video of myself drawing one of the illustrations, which is here.
I wrote about a thousand words of my War of the Gods story, which is rapidly heading towards being a novella, and is still nowhere near finished. Sigh...
One Million Project Fiction Anthology: 40 fabulous short tales compiled by Jason Greenfield
One Million Project: Thriller Anthology
One Million Project Fantasy Anthology: 40 fantastic short tales compiled by Jason Greenfield
My story, History Lesson, is in the last of these. I made a video trailer for it, which you can watch here.
I finished drawing the illustrations for Simon and the Birthday Wish, my children's book, and have done most of the retouching in the computer. It should be on sale soon. I shot a timelapse video of myself drawing one of the illustrations, which is here.
I wrote about a thousand words of my War of the Gods story, which is rapidly heading towards being a novella, and is still nowhere near finished. Sigh...
February 6, 2018
Making stuff up for good causes
A while back, I contributed a short story to an anthology, called One Million Project: Fantasy. (In spite of the title, the story is actually science fiction, but hey.) I'm pleased to announce that the book's now available for pre-order. Go to http://myBook.to/OMPFantasy - that should direct you to the appropriate Amazon site. We're raising money for Cancer Research UK and Emmaus, a charity for the homeless.
I made a video trailer for my contribution, which you can watch at https://youtu.be/TDatYCPcnIs
The One Million Project is launching two other anthologies at the same time, one for mystery and suspense - http://myBook.to/OMPThriller - and one for general fiction - http://myBook.to/OMPFiction
(And yes, the story is History Lesson, which I guess means I have to write another story to use for bribing people to join my mailing list...)
I made a video trailer for my contribution, which you can watch at https://youtu.be/TDatYCPcnIs
The One Million Project is launching two other anthologies at the same time, one for mystery and suspense - http://myBook.to/OMPThriller - and one for general fiction - http://myBook.to/OMPFiction
(And yes, the story is History Lesson, which I guess means I have to write another story to use for bribing people to join my mailing list...)
February 3, 2018
January's Writing Progress
January was another month when I didn't write any new words. But I did release the
Plague & Poison
audiobook, and I started on the illustrations for the children's book, which is provisionally called Simon and the Birthday Wish. I've decided I need 15 illustrations, and I've done three of them so far. Those should be done in a couple of weeks. Then I have to clean them up in the computer and decide whether (and how) to add shading or colouring.
January 26, 2018
The Plague & Poison audiobook is on sale
The audiobook of
Plague & Poison
is now on sale from the following retailers -
Amazon USA - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006JB8N4Y
Amazon UK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006JB8N4Y
Audible USA - https://www.audible.com/pd/Sci-Fi-Fan...
Audible UK - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Sci-Fi-F...
iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/us/audiobook...
It's read by yours truly and runs for 11 hours 16 minutes. You can listen to a preview of it here (4 minutes from the end of chapter 7, spoiler-free).
Enjoy!
Amazon USA - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006JB8N4Y
Amazon UK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B006JB8N4Y
Audible USA - https://www.audible.com/pd/Sci-Fi-Fan...
Audible UK - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/Sci-Fi-F...
iTunes - https://itunes.apple.com/us/audiobook...
It's read by yours truly and runs for 11 hours 16 minutes. You can listen to a preview of it here (4 minutes from the end of chapter 7, spoiler-free).
Enjoy!
