Jonas Eriksson's Blog: Jonaswrites.com - official site of author and writer Jonas Eriksson, page 9

Who is a Bestselling Author?

Lots of independent authors seem to be throwing around the term “bestselling” like it was any old adjective, which makes me wonder what a “bestselling” author really is. How many books do you need to sell to call yourself a bestseller?

It seems like many mix this up with giving away books for free. I’ve given thousands of books away for free, but wouldn’t label myself as a bestseller just because I’ve had up to 40 000 free downloads or more. Maybe I should call myself a bestgiving author?

Many independent authors use programs like Kindle Select to give away books for free to spike interest around their work and possibly climb the “bestseller” lists (there is a free bestseller list on Amazon). The idea is to get traction on the book and move it into the bestseller list for paid books. I managed to do this once for The Wake-Up Call and got more than 25 000 free and hundreds of paid downloads over a couple of days. Does this make me a bestselling author? I don’t know.

Here’s an idea that’s up for grabs. Why not have an independent organization of some kind create a “verified bestseller” stamp that you can apply for and when granted, use in your marketing. Something like this 5-minute design:

This way we would know that when someone calls him- or herself a “verified bestselling author”, we don’t need to wonder about the authenticity of that expression.

Or for simplicity’s sake, why don’t just call yourself an author?

That’s good enough for me. Good enough for most of us.

And besides, just because someone has sold a lot of books, doesn’t mean they’re any better than someone who hasn’t.

Stay writing and keep hustling, but don’t write to sell – write to tell.

Drinking Buddies and Hollywood Endings

Yesterday Lenah and I watched a movie called Drinking Buddies by Joe Swanberg. It’s a cute little story about co-workers at a Chicago brewery and the blurred lines between their friendship and their relationships. Okay, I better just quote IMDB:

Luke and Kate are co-workers at a Chicago brewery, where they spend their days drinking and flirting. They’re perfect for each other, except that they’re both in relationships. Luke is in the midst of marriage talks with his girlfriend of six years, Kate is playing it cool with her music producer boyfriend Chris. But you know what makes the line between “friends” and “more than friends” really blurry? Beer.

What I like about movies like Drinking Buddies:

Few actors. (They can focus on acting and they (Olivia Wilde, Jake Johnson, Anna Kendrick, Ron Livingston all do a great job in Drinking Buddies)
The story is realistic. No string music at opportune moments, no one telling you what to feel and when to feel it.
No frills. No explosions. JUST STORY.
Believable characters. No stereotypes.
No Hollywood ending. Low predictability level. It ends in a realistic, but sympathetic way.

A really nice little movie that doesn’t require 3D glasses or surround sound. It tells a story about real people in a real world. I wish there were more films like that.

Minimalistic Tendencies – Stop Hoarding

In case you haven’t noticed my For Sale post, you might not know that we’re moving house. But we are, we’re going from a pretty large house to a small apartment. What that means? We have to de-hoard.

I wouldn’t say we are “hoarders” the way some people collect shit like they were invaluable trophies of life, but we have stuff. Lots of stuff. And it’s pretty much all going out the window (mostly through the door though) one way or the other. We sell, we donate to charity, and we give to friends. It’s a cleansing process. The motto is: if you don’t use it, why do you keep it?

Stuff takes energy. It sits there and whispers somewhere in the back of your being. I’m not into feng shui (I know you shouldn’t place furniture in front of the door because you won’t get in), but I believe that you get stressed by having too many relatively pointless possessions. Things that don’t get used are probably unhappy. Better give them to someone who’ll use them. Happier people, happier things.

I had four guitars. I mostly played on one, but I had four. Now I have two and I soon hope to have one. It should be enough.

I have seven tennis racquets. I don’t need seven tennis racquets! I play with one and if the strings break, it’s good to have a spare or two. This means I need two (or maximum three) tennis racquets. That’s the goal.

I shouldn’t get started on how many t-shirts and shirts I had that I never use. Why? People starve in the world and I, Mr. Middle-Class Man,  walk around with at least 30 unused pieces of clothing stored in my wardrobe. What a waste!

Do we collect stuff because we’re thinking we’ll use them someday or because we’re afraid we’ll be poor enough to have to use things we don’t like? Maybe somewhere in the back of our heads we hold onto things because they become like a safety net for us?

They’re obviously lots of psychological analysis around “real” hoarders, see this link for compulsive hoarding for example and I guess many of you have seen the different reality shows around this phenomenon. If you haven’t this image explains it all:

This is not a reflection of our home, but it’s something that makes you think. Think what the hell these people think?

Anyways, we hope to be more like this:

Okay, maybe not exactly like this, but you know what I mean. Less is more! Stop hoarding and get your zen on folks!

PS. Found this pic too, it’s pretty good. DS. /J.

Brand-dropping and Product Placement in Rap Music

Listening to Kanye West and Jay-Z’s latest albums, Yeezus and Magna Carta Holy Grail is making me think of lyrics in rap music. Arguably, Jay-Z and Kanye West are two of the biggest names in not only the genre, but in music today, so although their output might not be reflective of every rap artist out there (I know there ARE better lyricists), they bear a huge influence.

And when you listen to the lyrics to their latest albums you really understand how much influence top brands have in their lives/music and how much the brands must say thanks for being dropped in popular songs without having to pay for it.

If we begin with Magna Carta Holy Grail and the song Holy Grail, Jay-Z starts out rapping about how money can fuck up your life:

Caught up in all these lights and cameras

But look what that shit did to Hammer

Goddammit it I like it

Bright lights is enticing

But look what it did to Tyson

All that money in one night

Thirty mill for one fight

But soon as all the money blows

All the pigeons take flight

Money, luxuries and fame are really what most famous rappers seem to have on their minds. Maybe it’s their way of dealing with it. In the next song, Picasso Baby, Jay-Z is talking about the same theme, but you notice he has a thing for the arts (everything art-related in bold):

I just want a Picasso

In my casa, no, my castle

I’m a hassa, no, I’m a asshole

I’m never satisfied, can’t knock my hustle

I wanna Rothko, no, I wanna brothel

No, I want a wife that fuck me like a prostitute

Let’s make love on a million

In a dirty hotel with the fan on the ceiling

All for the love of drug dealing

Marble Floors, gold Ceilings

Oh, what a feeling, fuck it, I want a billion

Jeff Koons balloons, I just wanna blow up

Condos in my condos, I wanna row of

Christie‘s with my missy, live at the MoMA

Bacons and turkey bacons, smell the aroma

Okay, have to quote the next verse too:

It ain’t hard to tell, I’m the new Jean Michel

Surrounded by Warhols, my whole team ball

Twin Bugattis outside the Art Basel

I just wanna live life colossal

Leonardo Da Vinci flows

Riccardo Tisci Givenchy clothes

See me throning at the Met

Vogueing on these niggas, champagne on my breath, yes

House like the Louvre or the Tate Modern

Because I be going ape at the auction

Oh what a feeling, aw, fuck it, I want a trillion

Sleeping every night next to Mona Lisa

The modern day version with better features

Yellow Basquiat in my kitchen corner

Go ahead lean on that shit Blue, you own it

The next song on Magna Carta Holy Grail is called Tom Ford after the famous fashion designer brand. The chorus is Jay-Z repeating the name Tom Ford over and over and that will surely create a deep interest in that brand. Jay-Z is alluding to that he’s all grown-up and dressing better, but I’m sure Tom Ford can’t be happier about his brand’s inclusion in the song.

Then there is all this talk both from Kanye West and Jay-Z about Paris. They seem absolutely obsessed with the French capital and it’s culture. It’s always been kind of hip for Americans to go to Paris, but they take it to another level and for their duo album they even have a song called “Niggas in Paris.”

I guess Paris represents luxury, snobbery, fine dining, super brands and outrageously expensive wines.

Here is a line from Tom Ford:

Paris where we been, pard’ my Parisian

It’s Hov time in no time, it’s fuck all y’all season

Piss Bordeaux and Burgundies, flush out a Riesling

I think what they want to shout on the rooftops is that “you have this perception of black people and rap music, but we rich and classy!”

Okay, this post is getting long. To make it shorter, I will just list all the mentions of brands and products in Magna Carta Holy Grail from here onwards (I have probably missed some):

Lamborghini Countach

Mercedes

Basquiat (several times)

Hermes

Black Maybach (EXPENSIVE car brand)

Yellow Lambo (Lamborghini)

Sonos (Wifi music system)

White Lexus

Jordan Packs (Nike Air Jordan’s)

new Bugatti

Diablo (Lamborghini)

Maybach partition

D’USSE (fine cognac)

Mercedes

Ray Bans

Bally shoes

Gucci sneakers

Adidas

Fila

D’USSE

Hermes towel

Maybach

Suzuki Jeeps

Cherokees

Cherry M3 (BMW)

Silver Toyotas

Teflon Q45 Infinite

MCM Seats

Versace plates

Basquiat

Mercedes

Hublot

Ouch. That’s a lot of BRANDS! Let’s see what Kanye West is talking about on Yeezus (he’s very angry on that album by the way, but it’s very good).

Benz (Mercedes) (5 times at least)

Black Timbs (Timbaland shoes)

Porsche

Bentley

Alexander Wang

Ranger Rover

Corolla (Toyota)

Blackberry

Louboutin (shoes)

Maybach

So Kanye West’s Yeezus is not near the brand-dropping magnitude of Magna Carta Holy Grail. Still, it seems like I need to get myself a Maybach, some Basquiat paintings, shop more at Alexander Wang, drink more D’USSE, buy a Hublot watch, and make more millions. I like both Magna Carta Holy Grail and Yeezus, but the best songs are when both Jay-Z and Kanye West rap about relationships, fear, hatred, love and feeling lost. Things everyone can relate to.

My favourite songs on the albums are:

MAGNA CARTA HOLY GRAIL: Holy Grail, Oceans, Somewhere in America and Blue (when Jay-Z raps about his relationship with his daughter and his fear that his marriage with Beyonce will break.

YEEZUS: Hold my liquor, Blood on the Leaves where I assume Kanye West is talking about old relationships. There’s so much dark and vulnerable emotion in this album. Just look at this verse from Hold My Liquor:

Bitch I’m back out my coma

Waking up on your sofa

When I park my Range Rover

Slightly scratch your Corolla

Okay, I smashed your Corolla

I’m hanging on a hangover

Five years we been over

Ask me why I came over

One more hit and I can own ya

One more fuck and I can own ya

One cold night in October

Pussy had me floating

Feel like Deepak Chopra

Pussy had me dead

Might call 2Pac over

Yeezy’s all on your sofa

These them Red Octobers

Still ain’t learn me no manners

You love me when I ain’t sober

You love me when I’m hungover

Even when I blow doja

Then her auntie came over

Skinny bitch with no shoulders

Tellin’ you that I’m bogus

Bitch you don’t even know us

“Baby girl, he’s a loner

Baby girl, he’s a loner

Late night organ donor

After that he disown ya

After that he’s just hopeless

Soul mates become soulless

When it’s over it’s over”

And bitch, I’m back out my coma

I think for someone to be really, really “trill” (true and real) you need to go where it hurts, not cover everything up in brands, brands, brands. Both Jay-Z and Kanye West does it in a few songs, but not to the extent I’d personally like them to.

For Sale

This could have been a post on the shallowness of society and how everything we cherish and love is for sale these days. But it’s not. We’re just moving house and selling a bunch of stuff at good prices. You’re interested? Hit me at jonaswrites@gmail.com

See picture for reference.

Pic top left

Tikkams Antique style side table

Price new: 150

Our price: 80

Pic top right

Custom made kitchen side table

Price new: 250

Our price: 100

Pic mid left

Tikkams large chest of drawers

Price new: 520

Our price: 250

Pic mid right

Atrium New York foldable wall

Price new: 120

Our price: 50

Pic bottom left

Atrium chest of drawers

Price new: 220

Our price: 100

Pic bottom right

Atrium desk

Price new: 170

Our price: 80

Th en I sell a bunch of tennis racquets and guitars too:

Handmade Canadian Simon&Patrick acoustic with a great hard case.

Price new: 700 guitar 120 case

You get both for 150 euro. (Yeah, I’m nuts)

Behring practice amp 15W

New price: 60

My price: 40 (used once)

Behring iAxe electric guitar

New price: 90

My price: 50 (used once)

Wilson Pro Staff BLX 90 (Federer’s racquet of choice)

Grip 3. Strung with Babolat RPM Blast (Nadal) and Luxilon Big Banger Alu Power).

Price new: 160 euro

My price: 100 euro

Wilson Six.One BLX 95 (18×20)

Some scratches on this one.

Grip 3. Strung with Luxilon Big Banger Alu Power).

Price new: 150

My price: 50 euro

Wilson Six.One BLX 95 (16×18) Innegra

As new.

Grip 3. Strung with Yonex Poly Tour Spin.

Price new: 160

My price: 80 euro

Fighting Impatience in an Instant World

We live in a fast world. Pretty much everything is instant, from our coffee to our needs for gratification. We question ourselves all the time. We wonder about our choices. We second-guess.

And when we do these things we need to fight our own impatience.

I need to do this all the time. Not many days go by before I open up that pandora’s box in my head and think about things I could do or have done differently. Am I putting time into the wrong things, should I be focused elsewhere?

It’s exhausting.

Sometimes you feel like you need a “sign from above” to go ahead doing what you want and sometimes you don’t even know what you want. The brain just won’t shut up and you feel time is running away from you.

I want to blame the Internet for speeding up the world. But then again, it made the impossible possible (at least that’s the mindset you need to have).

When you get into that mood of questioning yourself, you need to take a break. Get away from yourself from a moment. Have lunch, go out into the sunshine, talk to someone with positive energy. Turn off your phone. Close the lid to your computer. Stop staring at screens for a while.

Take a moment to just be. Let your inner self be heard. Maybe there is an answer there somewhere, whispering? Telling you who you are and what you need to do.

Let that voice be your gratification. And don’t worry that it’s not instant. Sometimes you have to let things come to you. Slowly.

You and Your Coffee

I love coffee and I can’t imagine starting my day without a cup or two. I like Espressos, Americanos, Cappuccinos, Macchiatos, you name it. What does that say about me? See the chart below and make your own conclusions. And what kind of (coffee) person are YOU?

Thanks to DogHouseDiaries for this.

 

Google: The Internship

Yesterday we went to Marsovin Summer Wine Festival. It was packed and atmospheric as usual. I only had four glasses of wine/champagne, but still woke up with headache. Lenah was fine so I guess I should blame the fact that I had a massage a few hours before and didn’t drink enough water. Two hours of tennis this morning should have removed all the toxins from my body, but I’m still slower than a snail on hashish. And that’s why we’re going to the cinema!

I love the cinema in Summer, it’s cool, they have candy and they also show films there. What can be better than that on a hot day?

Last time we went we saw Despicable Me 2, which had me falling in love with minions. I can be a bit childish sometimes, I know, but the minions are really funny. Just look at the trailer:

Anyway, Despicable me 2 was great, and today we hope to be equally entertained by The Internship with funny-men Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.

It feels a bit strange to watch a movie with such obvious product placement (Google, Google, Google), but for a slightly hungover Sunday it should hopefully be a good choice. Will get back the blog later with an update.

Here’s the trailer for The Internship:

Enjoy your Sunday!

UPDATE: The Internship was entertaining, but full of clichés (most of Hollywood movies are, I guess, but this one was pretty extreme).You can’t go wrong with the combo of Wilson and Vaugh, but some of the other actors might annoy you. Google seems like a cool place to work though, although I’m more of an individualist and would probably sell hot dogs (nothing wrong with that) than to go through another internship program in my life.

Entrepreneurs, Passion and Execution

Today I went to the offices of one small IT start-ups on the island. They were in the process of setting up their offices and everything looked fresh and new and partly in boxes. I took a tour of the offices and we talked about the Maltese building industry where expectation management is very important (Malta works in the timezone of MFT – Malta Flexible Time).

What struck me after having been at the same company for six years (a dynamic and fast-growing one) is the energy and passion that goes into a start-up. People look fresh-faced, energetic and seem to have the belief they’re going to change the world or at least the part of the world where they operate. There’s that revolutionary vibe in the air. It’s energetic and contagious.

When you’ve seen a company grow from 50 people to a thousand in a few years, you notice a drastic change in company culture. Large hierarchies are created, the organization is restructured with each CEO, the turnover of people is fairly high and you get used to change, change, change, but even if you move with it – it can get tiresome.

Decision-making gets complicated, people smaller.

To thrive as a big company you really need to make sure the majority of employees tap into a culture, a passion, a set of values that rock their cores. Because no company can survive just as a money machine – can it?

No matter if you’re in a small, medium or big organization – make sure to keep your eyes open and alert and try to avoid the trap of being the nostalgic Grinch. If you keep your open mindset you might actually learn something or maybe the company might learn something from you(!).

I think the biggest change we’ll see in business is that corporations and individuals will get closer. We know that work is such a big part of you these days, you can’t let it just be a waste of your time.

I read a good thing about passion for work the other day. If you’ve been in business for x years, the passion has dwindled and you’re big motivation is that cheque that comes in your mailbox at the end of every month – but you don’t have a major plan for what else you can do or you’re not really sure you want to do something else – embrace execution.

How to embrace execution: Do the things you do as good as you can and take pride in that. Enjoy your life on the side, your family time, your hobbies, or your side business, but still try to learn how to be better at things every day. This will make everything more enjoyable and you can hopefully leave the office or (whatever setting you work in) every day feeling like you’ve learned something.

And I have an idea of how you can make that even more interesting: Set yourself a 30-day challenge to learn something new every day and document it. After the 30 days are done you sit down and you look at it and you ask yourself – am I going in the right direction? What have I learned that I want to delve deeper into and that can benefit my life even further? What was maybe possibly useless? List and evaluate every day and learning. You will get so much closer to figuring out yourself and what you want to do and what you can do to get there.

Challenging yourself and embracing execution can keep you from going crazy. And possibly make you into the person you’ve always dreamt you’d be.

/J.

Keeping Up With The Kardashians

Lenah and I have been following the hit E! reality show “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” for a while. It’s partly because there is nothing much else on TV to watch, partly because it’s entertaining and partly because it has been research for my celebrity crash novel Hollywood Ass.

If you have been living under a rock or on the moon, I will explain the Kardashians for you – it’s a famous half-Armenian, half-American family who run a little empire with a clothes brand (and I think a few sub-brands), perfumes, TV spin-offs, and lots of miscellaneous merchandise. The family got famous in part due to the now deceased father, Robert Kardashian’s involvement in the OJ trial. He was OJ Simpsons defense attorney.

I don’t remember all the details (you can read about it in Kris Jenner’s book), but then Kris Kardashian and Robert Kardashian got divorced, she later married decathlon Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner and even later Robert Kardashian (Sr.) got sick and died. Left was this crazy family composition where Bruce and Kris brought four children each (Kris: Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Robert and Bruce: Casey, Brody, Brandon and Burt). This crazy, high society family was obviously going to be entertaining to watch thought one producer/friend and asked Kris Jenner if she would consider having a camera team follow them around. How could she say no? A reality show was born.

Jeez, I wasn’t about to go into that kind of detail. I sound like a Kardashian scholar. The reason I wrote this is that I find the whole reality show and sort of artificial creation of celebrities very interesting. Normally you would be given a TV show because you’re famous, you wouldn’t be famous because you’ve been given a TV show. If you know what I mean.

Anyways. We’ve been following the Kardashian clan and it’s been an interesting ride with the addition of the colorful Scott Disick and Kim’s marriage drama with Kris Humphries and now Kanye West. It’s not art or even very intelligent – it’s just pure (and slightly strange) entertainment.

How long can they keep going with a series like this? We’re in season 8 now and the TV audience is very demanding. When will people get tired of the Kardashians? Some reports state the numbers are dropping, which they have to eventually. But the Kardashian fanbase is massive as well as the Kardashian bashers, so I don’t think they’re going to pull them off air soon. Especially since E! seem to have trouble finding new success stories (at least looking at their current output).

It’s actually quite funny/scary how divided people are around the Kardashians. Go to any decent-sized “news source” and scroll through the comments and you will find people either really LOVE or absolutely HATE them. I guess the Internet is too easy to hide behind.

Kind of like a chunky Hollywood ass - a Kardashian ass.

What are your thoughts and feelings around the Kardashians? Please share.