Kimanzi Constable's Blog, page 62

The Importance of a Good Support System

This past weekend I had the honor of speaking in Grand Rapids, Michigan. This time speaking was a little different because not only did I have my wife and kids with me but some friends were also able to attend: Ben Lotter (who also spoke), Joe Lalonde, Rich Avery, and Alana Mokma.

Alana, Me, Joe,, Rich

The morning of the event didn’t start out to hot, getting the kids up and going early is always a bit of a struggle To make matters worse, when we got to the car the tire was flat I almost forgot my laptop and by the time we started driving I was a little frustrated.

When I got to the event I was a little late but after the opening speech, I saw my friend Joe. It was the first time we met in person, and I also met Rich. We formed a little group that included Ben and another friend, Tim Burns. After talking for a little bit all that frustration started to melt away.

Me speaking

When it was my turn to speak I got up there as I normally do but having family and friends relaxed me and made me more comfortable. I got up there and felt at ease, I was told I rocked it, you have to ask Joe to find out for sure

When my first book came out and it flopped (only sold 11 copies the first month) I was ready to give up and not ever write again. It was my wife and a close group of friends that encouraged me and motivated me to not give up. I don’t think I would be where I am today if it wasn’t for them.

Support can be the difference between success and failure.

As you chase your dreams, or walk through the crazy journey of life, you will encounter many road blocks that seem impossible. There will be some that you can get through on your own but some things will simple be too much to handle.

For those times when things get overwhelming, that support can help you get through it. In my second book I have a whole chapter about support, it is one of the keys to success.

Do you have a good support system?

All of us have cheerleaders that would be there for us in moments of crisis, they key is to reach out to those people. We have a natural tendency to want to keeps things to ourselves, find a way to deal with our own problems, STOP!

Alana, Joe, Me, My Wife

It’s ok to reach out in those rough moments, stop trying to hold it in.

How has reaching out for support helped you?

 

The Art of Sabotaging Your Own Success

Note from Kimanzi: I will be taking a page from Michael Hyatt’s book, starting this week I will be going to a twice a week posting schedule. New post will come out on Monday and Friday with any guest post coming out Wednesday. Thanks for being a loyal reader of this blog I’m honored to have a guest poster today:

Mike Holmes a blogger and speaker speaker who heads the Simple Strategies for Startups community. He is also the author of How to Be Raised Up: Ancient Principles for Lasting Greatness.

Hi my name is Mike… (“Hi Mike!” you all say in unison) …and I’m…sigh…an unlearner. (You all clap!)

Yes…the road hasn’t been easy. And I wish I didn’t have to travel it. But at the same time I’m glad I learned what I learned from it. See…for years I learned how to sabotage my own success. Anytime I got close to the thing I wanted I found someway to lose it, got discouraged by “someone,” lost focus because of “something” and kept going back to zero. This is painful. But it’s necessary. Because there might be some saboteurs in the audience. As painful as this may be, let me give you some examples:

One time I got serious about my weight, gave myself completely over to health and wellness. I went twice a day, did boxing and weight lifting, and lost massive amounts of fat and put on lean muscle. I had approximately 5 more pounds of fat to lose…but then I stopped going, gave up my correct eating habits, got lazy, and well you know the rest.
I wrote my book and even got great testimonials for it. Did guest posts, promotions, and was even starting to make headway. But then I quit. It was too hard. It took too long. And even though people LOVED the book…I resigned prematurely, and well you know the rest.
I started “great” businesses and closed them down just as quickly when they got too “hard.”

So what woke me up

What woke me up. Two things…or one thing and one guy:

The Christ in Business Conference I put on


Kimanzi

Now I’m not just saying this cause I’m on his blog…no…I’m being completely honest. Let me deal with the first one. When I put on that conference it was HARD WORK. And during the middle of it the results I got were dismal…no where near what I had expected. It was 5 days before the conference and I was about to pull the plug. I got on the phone to tell my wife about the next failure I was about to encounter. She said this:

“Ok. Do what you have to do. But I want you to know: if you quit know you will NEVER be able to get these people back. And rightfully so.”

Whether she was wrong or right about the people I don’t know. What I do know is: she was right and I was wrong. I could no longer afford to bail out because things got “tough.”

Where does Kimanzi fit it? Well, he gave an awesome talk sharing his journey. And it really hit home to me. Something clicked in my head: if this guy can do it why can’t I?! So, this is personal. And introspective. And personal lol! But if my journey can help you…then I’m happy to share it.

 Have you ever sabotaged your own success? What’s your story?

Learning How To Be Intentional With My Dreams

I don’t know about you but I can be easily distracted, it doesn’t take much for me to lose focus. As I wrote my first book it was a battle between the writing and the thousand other things that wanted my attention.

[image error]When I would get in the groove, my phone would ring or get an alert from social media. The book was written in a good period of time but a lot more could have been accomplished if I was more intentional about the time.

As you know a lot has happened recently and my schedule has gotten busier, so I’ve been thinking about my dreams and how I use time.

This year I went for every writing and speaking opportunity available, in the month of September alone, I’ll be speaking at a different event in a different part of the country every weekend. I am a contributing writer for a magazine, and another website and sending out guest post for every blog in the world. I forgot to mention, I’m writing my third book!

So do you see my dilemma with my time? How about you, are you being intentional about the time you spend on your dream?

Having a plan helps you focus

Now as I think about fitting everything I’m doing into my life, I know I have to plan things out better. Next year I plan on speaking twice a month (if conferences will have me), this way I can plan out all my other major projects. Like my book launch in February (stay tuned)!

When we don’t have a plan, we run the risk of doing things that we think are important but end up being time wasters. The thing about being intentional with time is doing what’s important at the moment, not what seems important. When I was writing my first book that was what I needed to spend my time on not Facebook. You will have to determine what’s important to you at that moment and focus on that.

Don’t let your dream become your nightmare

When I wrote my second book I went over-board, I wrote all the time. I felt like a better writing and I had a book that the world needed to read. The problem was I ignored my wife and took time away from the family to write the book. Can you guess how my family felt about my second book?

When you’re intentional about your time you’ll schedule time to write and it won’t interfere with what’s important to you at that moment. This way your spouse won’t wish you’ll get an unsolvable case of writer’s block It might mean that your dream takes a little longer but you’re doing it the right way and everyone wins.

For me this means getting my writing gets done after work and before my wife gets home from her job. When she gets home it’s all about her and my kids, like I said, everybody wins.

Fight the temptation to deviate

Even when you decide to be intentional and follow a plan, there will still be things that are going to try to ruin it. I realize you can’t plan out every area of your life but there’s just some things that you need to say NO too. Deal with the unexpected but don’t give into the time killers, like social media. I realize it’s cool when someone like Chris Guillebeau responds to one of your tweets, but you can respond later!

I’m making every effort this year to be intentional with my dreams and I know things will run a lot smoother and keep me sane. I pray you’ll join me and keep me up to date on your progress!

Are you intentional with the time you spend on your dreams? What do you need to work on?

 

 

 

 

PURPOSEFUL DISCOVERY

Note from Kimanzi: This is a guest post by Joseph Iregbu. He blogs here and is passionate about leading on purpose and helping others do same. He is the author of a book, husband to Temi and father to Isabel-Juda. Connect with him on Twitter here.

Call it passion or purpose; you cannot go far in life without it. Passion is an absolute necessity to winning in life.

There is something about passion and being passionate that inspires a person to greatness. Having the right passion is a good thing. But the question is:

What are you passionate about?
What drives you?

People without passion stand the risk of wasting their lives. In an age rife with mediocrity, who REALLY wants to hang out with people without drive?!

I believe God wants us to win in life, not survive. But it takes a realization of our purpose (or passion) to win.  Here’s why:

You cannot pursue what you don’t know. You cannot chase hard after what you don’t see.

HERE’S WHAT MIGHT HELP

The discovery of your passion is a personal experience. Others can only help and guide but you cannot outsource your responsibility. It’s YOUR life, YOUR dream, YOUR identity.

But how can you make this purposeful discovery of what you are about? These are not five steps to greatness – life is too short for such lists! I am just a regular guy with a huge heart for purposeful living and in my experience I have known these key points to lead the way:

Find a mentor(s) This is absolutely important if you want to succeed in life. I have one mentor for different areas of my life: marriage, career, family life, ministry, etc. Here’s why I believe in mentoring: God did not create us to be lone      rangers. We need people. We succeed when we stand on the shoulders of those who have gone ahead of us and those who share similar passion.
Identify what you’re VERY good at You came pre-packed into life with talents (at least one). But you must unpack      them to reach your potential. What are you VERY good at? This is time for soul-searching.
Read Grow your knowledge. You will limit your reach and progress if you do not read. Read about successful people whose passion you admire and find out how they are living out their purpose. Read about unsuccessful people too and learn to avoid their mistakes.
Don’t wait for permission Quit being overly respectful when it comes to living your dream; get up and do what you we rewired for. People applaud risk takers, not ‘nice guys’. Live you dream be yourself. You only have one crack at life. So, live to die without regrets!
Pray This tops my personal list of purposeful discovery. Who would you rather ask than the One who wired the gifts in you?

Purposeful discovery of your passion leads to a lifelong pursuit of the same. And if you do it long enough, you will discover the joy of living for a purpose greater than life itself.

Have you made your purposeful discovery yet? What other tips can you give to others yet to fully emerge in their own journey?

My Dreams Are Taking Way Too Long!

As I stepped in the airplane I was blown away, this was the best looking airplane I had ever seen in my life. Everything looked brand new and when I sat in my seat, I didn’t feel like I was in a sardine can, there was actually room!

I saw the entertainment system and all that was on it and figured I would be asked to pay some fee like all the other airlines, I was blown away to see it was all free. The food looked like there was a five-star chef in the back making it and when you wanted more, they brought you more (for FREE).

It made the fourteen hour flight seem like ten minutes, Virgin Australia made the first part of my Australian experience one I will never forget.

After I cleared customs it was time to catch a train into the city of Sydney, I could feel the knot’s in my stomach. The train ride started underground then as we came out of the tunnel I looked to the left and saw the Sydney Opera House, I almost had tears, and it was breath-taking.

I got off the train and started exploring, it took a minute to soak it all in and realize I was not only living out my dream but taking the next big step towards it. In a day I would officially become an international speaker, it was surreal to experience!

After I spoke and had a few extra days to explore the city and Australia, it was time to go home and Virgin Australia did not disappoint! As the plane got closer to home, something hit me and depressed me a little: I had to go back to deliver bread when I got back, ouch!

That first day back was rough (to say the least) not so much because of the work, because I want to be doing my dream work of writing and speaking full-time. I got a taste of what it’s like and it tasted better than I could have ever dreamed of.

The Reality

Our lives aren’t a Hollywood movie where we can quit these jobs we hate and everything will work out. We have families, bills, debt and a whole lot of other things that our day jobs pay for.

So the reality is until your dream can support you, it’s have an amazing experience and go back to the grind, I was really sad until I realized how far I’ve come. Last year I would have never dreamed of speaking in another country, I would have called you a liar if you told me it would happen.

This year I’m speaking in three countries and over ten states, completely surreal. So while I’m not there yet where my dream can support me, I can see the finish line!

Cheer Up

Even if you’re just starting out, when you do take action, that’s one more step to your dreams, smile when you read that :) Yes it sucks that you still have to deal with this job that you hate but you’ll get to your dream and it will be so sweet!

The key is to not let things like this depress you or feed into your doubt, push forward with your dreams and make them a reality! I have faith in you and I hope you have faith in yourself, we both just need to learn a little more patience, we got this

Do you have a dream that seems like it’s taking too long? How do you deal with it?

I’m speaking today at 2 p.m. EST at the Christ in Business conference. The conference is online and it’s now FREE so stop by or check out the recording!

You Are The Expert, So Act Like It!

This is a video I shot before I spoke at WordCamp Sydney at the University of Sydney. As I do more events I’m felling a lot more confident but to be honest, the nerves still hit me from time to time.

This trip it really hit me and I finally understood something: they booked me as an international speaker because I have some knowledge that they are looking for, and I’m the expert to them. That thought changed how I spoke, and completely changed my outlook on everything that I’m doing.

Now I want you to realize something, YOU ARE THE EXPERT! You started a blog, you wrote a book, you speak about a topic, and you created a product, why? You did it because you have passion and knowledge about why you do what you do.

The Takeaway

Stop listening to your doubt that tells you you’re not good enough or that you don’t know enough. If you have at least one person tuning in every week, then you’re the expert. We need you to teach us your topic, we need to feel your passion, we need you to step up and lead us!

Are you willing to say right now “I’m the expert”? Are you willing to lead us?

P.S. I have the honor of speaking on Monday:

The conference is online, so hear me speak from the comfort of your home. There are some great freebie’s and awesome information, I’ll be talking about how to market your online business.  Sign up through my affiliate link here

Escaping Your Job – From A Guy Who Hasn’t Done It Yet

Note from Kimanzi: This is a guest post from Mike Greig who is an aspiring entrepreneur, dragon slayer, pilot and pursuer of a life worth living. He blogs because he has decided to stop letting life punch him in the stomach, and pursue the things that matter to him, the things he really loves. You can read his blog here or follow him on Facebook.

More than anything in life right now, I want to leave my job.

I work as a truck driver and can’t stand my work. It’s a pain I share with Kimanzi who has been in similar conditions for years. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the job or driving in general, quite the opposite in fact. By most people’s standards it’s a job that I would be foolish to leave. Good pay, doesn’t require lots of brain power, security etc….The problem is with me. I am following an education and a set of rules that I don’t believe in.

“You make good money, you ought to be thankful” “Scared of hard work are ya?”

These are the types of things that people say to me when I tell them of my dream to build my online businesses to a place where I can leave my current job. And for a time, I started to believe them. Maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe I should just stay here and work my life away with these guys. Until a few months ago. I read Tim Ferriss’ book “The 4 Hour Workweek” (which I recommend by the way) and had this realization.

I’m only doing this because it’s what I was taught to do.

I’m just simply not cut out to do this stuff and there’s nothing wrong with that. The guys at work were all taught the same things. They are giving me a hard time because I’m pulling them dangerously close to the edge of their comfort zone. Maybe they really love their work, I don’t know. What I do know is when I talk about leaving, there’s nothing but discouraging words. Like a herd of sheep they collectively chime “Don’t dooooooo it, come baaaaaaack”

There are millions of guys who are cut out for the type of work I do. They enjoy the regular income and the “security” that comes with it. I’m just not willing to pretend that I’m one of them any longer.

The time is now for me to decide what I want my 1-year-old daughter to learn from her dad. Should I teach her to get a job she will dislike, stay with it for 40 years, MAYBE retire and teach her kids to do the same? All this time I have thought that the most responsible thing that I can do as a parent is endure the repetitive, boring job and teach my daughter that this is what responsible people do.

Or would I rather her know that there countless other paths that she can choose to take in life, unconventional, but maybe exactly what she was designed for. That her decisions about what to do with her life do not need to be guided solely by the illusion of security and stability. What if I showed here that it’s ok to try to maybe fail in a huge way at something that really matters to her?

I’m not here to tell you to quit your job or make any kind of massive change in your life. Maybe you’re happy with where you are and what you do, that’s for you to decide. If you are fulfilled and have a sense of purpose in what you do then my hat is off to you. My experience has been however, that most don’t feel this way and it makes me sad.

Nothing is easy. Choosing to live your days in tolerable and unfulfilling work conditions is far harder in my opinion than getting out there and trying something new.

I’m not a pro internet marketer, I’m a truck driver who has to Google search things like “how to put a picture on my website” and “how to guest post for Kimanzi “ But I’m working on it. I’m not out of my job yet, but every day I work as hard as I can and I’m not going to give up. Every day a new wall comes down and I’m a little bit closer to my dream of working from home to spend more time with my daughter.

I made my first $66 dollars online this month and proved beyond a doubt that it can be done. Few things are as hard as you think they’re going to be once you actually get moving on them and work on them as though there were no chance you could fail.

I want you to try something. Rather than viewing all potential opportunities in terms of what they can offer you in terms of pay, security or benefits etc. Think about what you would do with your time if money were not an issue, and work backwards from there.

What work situation do you want to escape from? What do you want to escape to do?

Travelling For My Dream

I went to speak at the University of Sydney in Sydney, Australia. I got back on a Tuesday then on that Friday I flew out to speak at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Sydney Harbor Bridge

This year has been a dream come true, I truly believe anything is possible!

Sydney Opera House

Sydney, Australia

Heading out of the country was an awesome experience. The flight from L.A. to Sydney was 14 hours there and 15 hours back but I flew with Virgin Airlines and they are the best airline out there, seriously. They had so much room, so much to do and the best customer service and they’re not paying me to say this!

Virgin Airlines

Sydney is a very modern city and there’s quite a few people, it reminded me of New York. The city is very expensive, the second most expensive city in the world. For a medium soda at McDonald’s (we pay $1 here for a large) was $4.95, for the ride on the train from the airport to the Hilton Sydney

While there I saw all the major sites and you’ll see pictures through out this post. The day did come when I spoke and I have to admit the nerves came back. I had to remember that I was in a foreign country to do something that I’m completely passionate about, I got over the nerves pretty quickly!

Darling Harbor

To be honest there were some things I talked about that didn’t translate in that different culture, like attitudes towards work. For them they don’t view work like we might, but the speech was a HUGE success and I made many new contacts and clients.

Me speaking

More than that I came away with a huge confidence in what I’m doing, I felt like I went to another level in my mind. I missed my family so much but it was so hard to go back home, the city is amazing and so much to do. Australia was always on my bucket list, so this definitely was a dream come true.

Right before I spoke in Sydney

Fayetteville, Arkansas

After coming from Australia and having a new confidence, this was the best presentation I did. I learned so much about talking to people plus I had a few funny stories to tell to an absolutely packed room.

In Arkansas

I got to see where president Clinton and his wife were married, I saw the home of Walmart and every building has a Walton name on it. I met some cool people and it just felt right.

What I learned

More than anything I got (not that I needed it) confirmation that this is the path the Lord wants me on, he has shown me this and has opened doors that I could only dream of. I got a new confidence that will transcend any doubt that tries to hold me back, I still hear that the doubt but hear my dream a lot louder.

I realized more than ever my mission is to wake people up to the effects of sticking it out at work that makes them miserable, it affects every other area of their life. I saw how much opportunity is available all around us if we’re willing to stop making excuses and take action today.

Going forward I will push even harder, I will stop holding onto any excuses and I will make a difference in this world for good,

Will you join me? How???????

P.S. There will be a post that just pictures.

P.S.S. I have the honor of speaking next Monday: 

The conference is online, so hear me speak from the comfort of your home. There are some great freebie’s and awesome information, I’ll be talking about how to market your online business.  Sign up through my affiliate link here

Fear Is A Liar – Four Practices To Conquer Your Fears

Note from Kimanzi: This is a guest post from Ryan Paul Ridgway  Founder of Ridgway Business Group & WeeklyHustle.com, which is a one-stop online platform and knowledge base for success-minded individuals and aspiring entrepreneurs. Check out the site and follow us on Twitter.  If you would like to guest post on this blog, email a post to kimanzi@talesofwork.com

You will often times find… Wait a second, let me rephrase that. You will always find that whatever you fear is irrational if you place it into a bigger context. I was sitting at work the other day when I was prompted with a number to make a sales call on. This is no big deal considering I make about 150 calls a day. However, this call in particular had some amazing potential to be a very large and continuous client. I froze. I stumbled through Google searching for the company’s background and further information that would assist me in developing a successful pitch. I gave a large sigh and then pressed dial. “Beep, beep, beep, this number has been disconnected or has been changed.” Do you see my point? I freaked myself out. My fear of stumbling through my words on the phone caused me to waste 15 minutes of my time, just to find out that the number was not working, as opposed to simply calling the lead and qualifying them just as I do every other call. For anyone who has worked in sales, you know how important 15 minutes can be, so no explanation necessary.

That’s a small example but it was the first thing that came to my head. There are a lot of people out there (yes, even me and you) that let fear completely seep into the grooves of their life. Often times, you don’t even realize it’s happening before you’re faced with a situation and tense up. Below are four practices you can utilize to help eliminate your fears. They’re all irrational anyways. Don’t ever let fear hold you back or prevent you from achieving your dreams ever again!

1. Analyze Your Fear

The next time your faced with a tensing or awkward situation, I want you to ask yourself this: “Will the outcome of this action or decision potentially affect me negatively for the rest of my life?” Unless you’re considering trying skydiving without a parachute for the first (and last) time, the answer will most likely be no. The next time you’re sitting in the office lobby waiting for that big job interview, stay calm. Tell yourself that you’re the best. These other guys don’t have anything on you! Analyze your thoughts to believe if they don’t pick you for the position, there’s plenty of other employers that will.

2. Gradually Overcome Your Fear

I’m a High Octane type of guy, and frankly I don’t like this method too much. However, it can be very practical and work very effectively for many people. The concept of gradual desensitization has been employed many times throughout the course of psychological history. One example that immediately comes to mind is a story I remember from my high school psych class. A man was so afraid of snakes that if he even viewed a picture of one, he would immediately bust into tears. The next page in our text-book had a picture of him laying next to a few hundred snakes in a bathtub. After a few months of slowly confronting his fears in a gradual manner, he was able to finally live a life of normalcy when it came to visiting places like a zoo or pet store, and unexpectedly became somewhat of a bad ass in the process.

3. Hold Yourself To The Highest Standard

Who’s your hero? Who do you admire when it comes to your own dreams and goals? The next time you’re faced with an intimidating situation that pertains to your success, I want you to ask yourself what they would do. Other’s may live a life of normalcy, but if you want the utmost success within your respected field or ambitions, you need to set the bar high. Observe the masses and do the opposite.

4. Confront Your Fears Head On

Yes! Any “go-getter” out there will truly appreciate this one. Take your big toe out of the water and just jump in already! Chances are that cold water may shock your system for a second, but it’s often smooth sailing after that. If you have an issue with someone, tell them how you feel in the nicest way possible. If you’re faced with a tough decision, have confidence and faith that regardless of your decision, you know your judgment better than anyone else out there. You chose that decision for a reason. Stick with it, embellish it, and don’t live in fear any longer!

I hope these four practices will enable you to live a life of complete and utter freedom!

How do you conquer fear?

Wrecked: When A Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life (Book Review)

[image error]Has there been a time in your life when you were just cruising along and things were going great then out of nowhere: Boom!

I think we all have stories like this and that’s exactly what Jeff Goins writes about in his new book: Wrecked: When A Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life

I have the honor of being on Jeff’s book launch team and have had the privilege of seeing what’s going on behind the scenes and I have to tell you, lives have been changed.

Some people may have joined the team because it’s Jeff and he’s crushing it right now and who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? However, after reading the book you are wrecked and you definitely change your perspective.

A little over three years ago I rebelled against everything in my life, my job, wife, kids, bills, church, friends and my Lord. I wanted to do what I wanted to do and I didn’t care who I hurt, I was completely out of control.

It took a while but one day (it’s a very long story) everything came crashing down on my head, I was wrecked but the good thing was it woke me up and I got back on track.

Reading Jeff’s book shed light on a lot of things that I was either scared or didn’t want to admit to myself.

The book is a good read and very well-written, it’s worth the price you’ll pay for it plus there are $158.00 worth of bonuses if you buy it this week, just like Michael Hyatt did.

About the author

If you don’t know who Jeff Goins is you should, he’s crushing it right now and helping people everywhere become better writers. He has blogged for years with limited success until this past year.

He regrouped and refocused and start being intentional about his blogging and his blog has exploded beyond belief. If you are a writer, his blog is a great resource on tips and tricks on how to be the best writer you can be.

He is a world traveler, he works for a mission’s organization, and he is real nice person.

About the book

I love books that illustrate a story to show you the message of the book, that’s exactly what this book does and does it really well. Even the foreword, which was written by Michael Hyatt, captures your attention right away and makes you read more!

The book will explain some things that you might be confused about, or shed light on things you just haven’t been honest about, the message is very powerful.

The book is good, the price is right and you get FREE stuff, its definitley worth the investment!

Has there ever been a time when you were wrecked?