Michelle Nelson-Schmidt's Blog, page 77

He's here! He's dear! And he'll take away your fear!!

OMGOSH!!!! He's here! He's here! And I am IN LOVE WITH HIM and the AWESOME folks at Binkley Custom Plush Toys!!!

If you haven't already pre-ordered, you are going to want to NOW! Order your little Whatif Monster because he will take all your worries away for you. He will do the worrying and you go take your chances, risk, dare and DREAM! Because my little green dude is MAGIC! And with him by your side to remind you that life is not about worrying, but about LIVING and MAKING MISTAKES and LEARNING and TRYING AGAIN even if you fall flat on your face! He will be by your side no matter what!

Check out my dude!! (and I love you guys so much I didn't even stop to clean up after I got off the treadmill I was SO EXCITED to share him with you! Ahem. Sorry about that. I really do love you. Good thing it's not Smell-a-vision.)

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Why I love you and why my 15 year old has to admit he is wrong. heh.

Last week my son and I were in the car waiting on his sister to get out of her improv class. There is a lot of sitting and waiting on kids when you are a parent. Especially when they are in middle and high school – after school activities you know. I probably sit and wait more than most. I share custody of my kids. (I hate that word, 'custody.' Makes the kids sound like possessions. Ick. Terrible.) Anyway. Two years ago we ended up moving into my husband's house that was about 25 minutes from where we all had lived – me, the kids, their dad, their school, etc. We tried to sell the house my husband already had and buy one where we were renting, but we all know the housing market… Hence we live 25 minutes away. And the weeks I have the kids, there is a lot of driving. And waiting when need be.

Back to the story. This waiting leaves time for talking with one of the kids one-on-one a lot of times. I love that. My kids and I are really close and can talk about anything. I love that too. So my son, is 15. And like many typical 15 year olds he can be rather, um, cynical is a way to put it. Nicely.

He is taking AP History and they are learning about world religions. And all the fighting that seems (ironically) to go hand-in-hand with loving your particular God, the land your particular God wants you to live on, and faith in your particular God. And how people think their particular God wants them to fight to the death for him and over. And over. Insert a cynical 15 year old that is learning about this, whom has also learned all about the major world wars that involved land and religion and lack of tolerance and well, you get a 15 year old that declares, "Mom, face it. People SUCK."

Me: No. They don't.

Son: Yes, mom. They do. You just like to wear your pretty rose-colored glasses and make your little dog paintings and green monsters and pretend they don't suck. Your world of unicorns and rainbows is make-believe.

Me: They don't suck. You are wrong. And my world is the actual world.

Son: You are deluded, Mother.

Me: No, I am not. It is just that the news does nothing but tell us terrible things. And the history books have to document all the terrible things so we can try not to repeat them again and again. So it SEEMS like people suck. But most people? They are awesome. And giving. And generous. And tolerant of each other.

Son: Mother. Puh-Leese.

Me: Okay. Think about YOUR world, son. Every single person in YOUR world. Not on tv, not on the news, not in the paper. Think about the people in YOUR world that you have DIRECT contact with. Can you think of anyone that is truly evil? That truly is a terrible person? That TRULY sucks?

Son: Hitler.

Me: Dude. I said that you know DIRECTLY.

Son:…….

Me: Exactly. Now, most people would not be able to come up with one truly evil, person that sucks. And if they could, it is probably only one or two people. Again, I mean a person that you DIRECTLY interact with. Therefore, if you take that fact and multiply it by EVERYONE, does it not make sense that the VAST MAJORITY of us people are good, and happy and nice and giving and tolerant?

Son:……..

Me: Yeah, well, you may not like it, but most of the people in this world are good, generous and loving people. Sorry your cynical 15 year old world can't quite handle my rainbows and unicorns, but there are more of us out there than you think.

And when I get emails from people that support my Whatif Monster concept with encouraging words or by buying from my campaign? There is a cynical 15 year old that dies just a little inside because he has to ADMIT HIS MOTHER IS RIGHT.

And to that I say, THANK YOU LOVELY PEOPLE!!!

Whatif you fail? What then?

I woke up with the Whatif Monster whispering in my head today. Actually that's a lie. He was whispering a lot in my head last night. Okay, that is a lie too. He pretty much is always whispering my my head all the time, just a lot louder yesterday. I choose to ignore him, but last night, he really got loud. It is probably the PMS. Nothing like hormones to make you doubt yourself and be sure that you are going to be found out for the utter failure your hormones promise that you are. Ugh. Only part about being a female I would trade in. At least it only lasts a day or so, right? still. ugh.

What are MY whatifs? What if my my book doesn't sell? What if I don't get enough money to manufacture these monsters? What if I never make any money and can never pay back the money I have already invested into my business? You know what? I have no idea what I will do if those things happen. I guess I will have to figure it out if it does. Part of me thrives on the not knowing. The exhilaration of working hard everyday, making phone calls, making connections, going to schools, meeting people and seeing what comes of it. It is SO exciting! Never knowing what is in store!

But on those other days? The ones where self-doubt creeps in? The ones where you look at your credit cards that you maxed out for your dream? The days where you spent more money than you made and you just promised to comp another school visit because the school has no funding and you would rather spend your own gas money than to even THINK about saying no to talking to little kids? Those days you crave KNOWING. You crave it like you want chocolate and you think you would push your husband into traffic if he got the last bar of chocolate before you on certain days of the month.

For just a moment, wouldn't it be nice if you just KNEW that it was going to work out? You KNEW that you weren't going to go into debt over this latest venture that you are wondering if you thought through enough before making BIG, HUGE promises to the world? You KNEW you would not fail?

But we don't get that. Even on days where we want to stay under the covers and say, "What are you TALKING about? I didn't promise anyone I would produce 1200 monsters with money I do not have!! That would be CRAZY! Surely you are talking about some stupid person, because who would commit $6000 to a project without having a CLUE if they could do it?!?! That is not me, can't you see I am hiding sleeping here? Go away and turn off the light when you leave, please."

Yeah….

So I am going to go paint a pet portrait now of a dog named Gus. And try to shhhh the whispers of my Whatif Monster. Because it will all work out. Somehow. I believe that with all my heart. Even if I have no idea HOW to believe it right now. Because we cannot fail if we do not stop trying, right? Right.

Success still doesn't always pay the bills and why that's okay.

It is 6:34am and if I focus, I mean REALLY, REALLY focus I can get this blog entry running through my head and out before I need to shower, pack the car and wake up The Soph and get out the door to Norcross Splashfest where I am doing storytime today at 12pm and tomorrow at 1pm (plug!). Coffee will help. One moment. Sluuuuurp.

Okay then.

The Universe has been pretty amazing to me lately. I am getting opportunities to travel, both locally and out-of-state. People want to fly me (and GASP! pay me!) to come for storytimes and school visits. I am being invited to festivals and people are talking about flying me to conferences. I am getting emails that my books are selling with 'great success.' Really? Me? When did this all happen? How?

Well I do know 'how' – the 'when' just all snowballed. Over the past 10 years.

You know, when you work for anything, not just an artistic dream, but maybe a medical degree, science degree, mechanic certificate, there are inevitably DAYS. You know the kind – the late night, what in the heck am I doing this for, everyone else on the planet has the common sense to be out with friends, watching tv, eating a pizza, SLEEPING and you are EXHAUSTED wondering if ANY of this is worth it AT ALL. I mean, there you sit late at night painting, watching all the ailments of Henry the XIII and all about every single wife because the Tudors series is over and you are in withdrawels so deep you will take anything, and I mean ANYTHING to ease the shakes – did you know his skin was rotted so bad you could smell him from 3-4 rooms away? In a CASTLE. And last time I checked? Castles? BIG rooms. No, that's just me? Ahem… Anyway, um…where was I? Yes, late night, the rest of the world certainly has it easier than you. Right?

I have known for a long time now that I wanted to write and illustrate children's picture books. I have been an artist for as long as I can remember. I always felt lucky that at least I KNEW my dream. That right there? The knowing? Way ahead of the life game in my opinion. At least I had an INKLING the path I thought I was supposed to be on. I say this, because, I am not so smug to think I have the Universe all figured out. I see myself writing and drawing for children until I am so old I cannot grasp a pencil in my hand anymore. (then I want to be like Henri Matisse and have some poor assistant do my bidding while I hold a long stick from my bed. (Google it.))

But I do get the Universe has its own ideas. Perhaps I am right, perhaps not. But this I know: I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now. I feel it to the depths of my soul. And every single pet portrait, missed vacation, missed sleep, delirious, bleary-eyed walk to the bed at 4am after finishing some painting made it worth it. And yes, I sure wanted to give up MANY times. Because sometimes following your dream is so damn hard. And let's not forget about reality. If I had a dollar for every time someone offered me an 'opportunity' for 'exposure' that helped them out but sure as heck didn't pay me? Well, I would have actually had money for bills. HA!

And just so we are clear, I am not swimming in money. A lot of my visits that I am doing are expenses only pay. I am going to Panama City for a week and won't come home with any money, but I won't have spent any and I WILL have sold a lot of books and MOST importantly, talked with and hopefully inspired hundreds of children.

Yes, I want to make money at this. I have to. I have bills to pay like everyone else. But success for me is about doing what I love and following my dreams and my passions. I am very lucky to have a partner that is paying the bills while I pursue this. I know that and I don't take it for granted for one single second. That gives me the advantage of being able to do all this faster. But make no mistake, I would still be doing this if I was still single, had a full time job and had to do all this at nights and weekends. Because for the past 10 years? That is exactly what I have done. When you are on your right path, even when you don't know where it is leading you, you can't not do it. In my experience anyways. Money or no.

So yes, I still don't make so much money. I still get rejections all the time on my other books. (good ones, we are CLOSE, but nonetheless rejections. And WOO-BOY! do they still sting. Recovery is faster though.) And dude, I have NO CLUE how I am coming up with $5000 more dollars to produce my Whatif Monsters if I don't get more pre-sales either. I am DETERMINED to earn it myself through pre-sales or school visit money or pet portrait earnings!! I will NOT give up!!

Um, on that note? Would you pretty please like to pre-order a Whatif Monster? They will give you good luck and magic and darnit if they aren't the CUTEST things! Really. Go here now and get one – only $15! http://www.indiegogo.com/Whatif-Monsters-for-Everyone?a=230675&i=addr Awesome. Thanks!

It is 7:09 am and I think I got out what I wanted to. The message in a nutshell? Success is something you feel. It is not always reflected in your bank account in the beginning. Or maybe ever. (but let's hope enough to pay our bills, right?) But when you know you are doing what you are meant to be doing, even if it is for just right now? There is no amount of money in the world that can buy that feeling. This I know.

If you are not already following your dreams? BEGIN. Today. Even if it is just having the COURAGE to admit what it is you LONG and DESIRE to do. (And totes order a Whatif Monster to remind you everyday to keep at it. What? Don't forget to be a good business person too, I know you've got bills too. Believe you me, the gas company don't take passion for payment. I tried that.)

Public Love Note to my AMAZING Husband

I just finished a whirlwind cleaning of my house before hunkering down this morning to get LOTS done. Four dogs and two kids make for a constant MESS. And constant need for vacuuming. And have I mentioned all the puppy pee? Not to mention the constant needs of a puppy? And have I told you I am one of those gross people that forgets to wash the toothpaste out of the sink every day and my husband's sink is SPOTLESS? Yeah, I'm THAT person. What can I say? Chaos is where I thrive. Where I am most comfortable. Where ideas come and come and come. I love my life. I think my life drives other people insane at the thought of how I live. People that like order and tidiness and discipline become unraveled at how I live my life. I think one of those people is my husband. I know he is actually. The man is in the military. The man was raised by a man in the military. The man lives his life with ORDER. You should see his closet. You should see mine. I am not quite sure how it is we work. And how we manage to stay crazy in love with each other and adore each other.

And sometimes I forget that my love and need for chaos is very, very hard on my sweet, sweet, (have I mentioned patient?) husband.

So today I am making it a point to make sure my sweet, patient husband comes home to a clean, nice-smelling, quiet house. The big dogs will have been fed and taken out and in the basement for a bit. Only Otto will be upstairs and he chills when he is with me. We will have drinks and appetizers on the deck with some slow relaxing music.And maybe we will just order pizza. Because my husband loves pizza almost as much as me. Or maybe more when he comes home to dogs wildly running through the back yard off their leashes and I am laughing in the middle of the crazy. And he is NOT. And that is my gift to the man that puts up with my crazy, my chaos, my insane ideas that launch websites with monsters and going out of town to help sell books that don't necessarily bring a paycheck into our house.

Thank you baby for loving me. And you are stuck with me. Forever. I love you.

What if you tried?

WHAT IF?

More coming VERY SOON!

The voices in my head. Really should take a nap. Really.

It is Saturday. I have not slept in in weeks and weeks and I don't mind at all. I am shocked at how much I love having this silly puppy- Otto Von Schmidt. He really is a wonderful dog, already learning and pretty obedient. Which is a big deal when I researched AFTER getting him that doxies are not a breed that care to listen to their owners much. Heh. Typical me. Leap first, look later. It works out. Most of the time. I am on my second marriage tho.

Yesterday Otto was mad at me. I was sewing in the studio all day long. See, normally I am sitting painting or on the computer. And he LOVES to sleep on my lap. But when I sew, I am constantly up and down, cutting fabric on my lap and well, just no room to spare for a tiny German dog. He was NOT happy. And today? Just now, when he saw me sitting at the computer? He ran over, sat down and yipped loudly. Just once. But loudly. And gave me a look of, "Ah HAZ! I zee you are zitting! And you lap! It eez eeeempty! Do my bidding womanz!" (You have to imagine he has a German accent. Do it, for real. Go back and reread that with a German accent. See? FUNNY!

And so…

Spoiled much? Can't even deny it. But enough about Otto. My obsession is obvious.

I got back on Monday from SCBWI in LA. It was amazing. And I am still processing. So many amazing things heard. So many amazing people met. I am still in awe at this community of people that I am part of. I still feel sort of a distant cousin at a family reunion kind of member. You know, like when you know you have this whole family out in Iowa that has a huge old get together every year and your parents from New Jersey finally decide you and your sisters need to meet ALL those Nelsons out there on account of you really have a huge family and well, let's do this so you get out there and it is huge and everybody knows EVERYONE but you five people from Jersey and they are laughing and hugging and being polite and you cannot believe you come from a family of redheads and oh LORD there are SO MANY redheads in the family and THAT is where your pale easily-burned skin comes from and they hug you and are nice, but you are not REALLY one of THEM you are that family way out in New Jersey that never comes to visit but here you are and you are family would you like a piece of fried chicken?

Yeah. Kind of like that. Working on getting to know everyone more. Trying not to be intimidated by all the red hair. Or major literary and illustration achievements walking and sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.

I write and illustrate children's books. I have worked really hard on this goal for about ten years now. My first two books just came out this summer. I am working really hard on a new one and another behind that and my agent is shopping a third. I am booked the entire fall for school events, reading rally's, literary festivals and art festivals. I intend on selling the $%#^ out of my books. I promised my publisher I would single-handedly sell 5000 each of my titles. And I will. I don't make promises I can't keep. See, 5000? That is considered a successful number for a childrens picture book. And my publisher loved another book that I wrote and illustrated, but they want to see how these books sell first. (Ya know, distant cousin, first time to the party and she doesn't even have red HIGHLIGHTS.) I am happy to prove myself. I worked really, really hard to get here. I learned, I got rejected, A LOT, I listened, I got rejected MORE, I learned. Oh, and I got rejected some more. Yeah, it stings. A LOT. But if it was easy? Everyone would do it, right?

Where am I babbling on to, you ask? I have a point, I do. Well, I have been working like crazy for years and I am finally in the door of childrens book publishing. I have work out there, work in progress, work in my head. I have done it! "Woohoo! Let's enjoy the fried chicken, right??? Pass the potato salad red-headed peeps o' mine!!" Right?

But then. But. Then. Man…. why, oh why? Last year at the conference I heard a little voice. And I ignored it. Easily. I was not published yet, I was working hard and so I said, "Voice! Simmer down! I can only work on one thing at a time! Hush up until I can breathe."

Well, that little voice waited. I thought it had left. Gone. Vamoosed. I thought wrong.

At the conference? I heard Bruce Coville. And Gary Paulsen. And Richard Peck. And David Smalls. And Ellen Hopkins. And Laurie Halse Anderson. And Judy Blume. JUDY BLUME. Her writing got me through my awkward pre-teen years. And that voice? Started YELLING. SCREAMING. DEMANDING. Kind of like Otto Von Schmidt but even MORE rude. But with no accent. that would just be silly. I mean I am Danish. And I have no idea what a Danish accent sounds like anyways. "You need to write. For older kids. Middle Grade. Chapter Books. You know you want to. And I am telling you, you NEED to. DO IT."

And I wanted to cry. NOT in the good way. No. Tears of frustration. Tears, of please, PLEASE just let me enjoy my chicken! I don't know how to do that! I can't do that. I am hardly good at THIS! How do you expect me to be good at THAT. Can you imagine THOSE rejections? My heart cannot take it. No. No. I will not. SHUT UP VOICE. But the voice had spoken. Sigh. And I can hardly imagine the rejection that awaits me now. Yippee.

Yesterday I was on my way into the art store to buy more stuffing and pipe cleaners for my Whatif Monsters – which while I was sewing yesterday with a very ANGRY Otto Von Schmidt GLARING at me from my feet I thought, "Man, would I ever LOVE to give these away to children and adults that need it. I so wish I was a trust fund baby so I had an endless supply of money. I would totally manufacture (IN AMERICA) my monsters and then spend my life giving them away. How fun would THAT be?"

But I am not, so I need to sell this book, get my Whatif Monsters made (HOPEFULLY in America, but I doubt it. Sad face.) and THEN I will give away as many as I can. But I digress. On my way in to buy the fluff and the pipe cleaners for the bendy arms (LOVE the bendy arms! Squeal!!) I saw – see, I had a point to this meandering mess and it is coming, pay attention if you are still awake! – a used paperback book store.

I was drawn in like a magnet. I walked in. It seemed empty. SO quiet. Then, somewhere, a few rows over, I heard a voice, "Can I help you?" Wow! Talking bookcases! this is a magic store! I love it! "No, I answered, not yet anyways." I bee-lined to the back, like I KNEW where I was going.

I walked straight to a shelf. Again, I had NEVER stepped foot in this place. Right in front of me was a stack of books. By Gary Paulsen, Richard Peck, Judy Blume. I literally looked up and said OUT LOUD, "Seriously? You have GOT to be KIDDING me." I then proceeded to buy ten books. (For $20!! HELLO!) Plus one for free that the owner gave me because it had a torn back cover and she REALLY said I should read it. She asked why I was buying all these books. And this is where that OTHER voice took over. Surely it was not MY voice that said:

"Well, I write and illustrate children's picture books (Like I had freaking been doing it for YEARS and my books are not BARELY off the presses!) and I think I really want to try some middle grade books. They really meant the world to me when I was growing up and I just really feel like I need to do this."

WHAT. THE. HELL?

Sigh. So here I am. Working on my picture book career and deciding to try to write middle grade. I have NO idea about what. I grew up with an idyllic childhood. My parents were and still are amazing and married. No abuse. No terrible, very bad thing happened to me. I was a fat kid, but not like a huge kid and I was nice, so ya know, only a few teasings here and there. What the HECK do I have to offer? I guess I will find out. Because I really have no choice. And that is how it goes when you are an artist. Logic? There is NONE.

And just when I was not being noticed with my piece of chicken and potato salad off in the corner, someone yells, "Hey! Who are YOU? Are you one of those girls from New Jersey? You don't look like any of us! Are you sure you belong here? No one in your family even HAS red hair!"

Like I said. Sigh.

Now excuse me while I irritate a little German dog by putting him on the ground and finish making Whatif Monsters, paint an illustration for the dummy book that will hopefully go out Monday for submissions and thinking about what I can possibly say to 8, 9 and 10 year olds so I can write it down and get rejected about a bazillion times. A bazillion and one. At least.

Here are some pics of me with some of those amazing people. Altho, Judy Blume probably is probably scared of me now and told people, don't let that crazy girl with that green monster near me again. See, there was a HUGE crowd around her (obviously) after her talk and finally they said she had to leave. Well, I NEEDED my pic with her! So I threw my monster at her, leaned in and shouted to my sister, "LIZ! TAKE THE PICTURE!!" She did. And I probably scared my childhood hero. LOL! But dude. Got the picture! WITH my monster! Score!

My agent, Deborah Warren and another client of hers, Naomi. (can't remember her last name.)

Me with Lin Oliver, co-founder of the SCBWI at the pajama party.

Me in between Verla Kay (on left) and Ellen Hopkins in the hotel bar.

Me with the amazing, sweet, kind, generous Judy Blume. Who is kind of my here and idol. I love her.

Confessions of an optimist.

I'm an idealist. I wear rose-colored glasses. I see the best in people. I can't hold a grudge to save my life. Have you SEEN a grudge**? They are REALLY icky and slimy! WHY on EARTH anyone would WANT to hold one, I do not know. Nope, not me. I put that slimy grudge down the second I can. I forgive and ask good things to happen to the people that hurt me or hurt me accidentally because they don't understand me. Or don't believe I actually don't have ulterior motives when I do nice things. The truth is? Yes, it is selfish. I LOVE to do nice things for people. Especially unexpected things. Because it feels SO DARN GOOD. (full disclosure – I would TOTALLY have just said so DAM* good, but now that my books are out and the wee ones of the world might come check out my blog, I have to watch my New Jersey potty mouth on here.)

Last week I bought the cutest tutu from my used to be sister-in-law and sent it to one of my best friend's daughter's in the mail as a surprise. (You should TOTALLY click and go buy one for some little girl – it IS like magic in a box!!!) I think I need one for me for my next festival to wear.) Kim got a sale (yay for artists supporting artists!!) and a little girl got a box of magic delivered to her. Um, HELLO! DO you know how good that felt?? Anytime a kid says they want a Whatif Monster, I ask them to choose a color and make it for them. Often times I surprise them with it and won't let the parents pay me. (shhhh, don't tell the hubs!) The joy on the faces of these kids is better than money to me. It fills me with joy and happiness. I wish I could give away my art and books and somehow I could pay bills with joy and happiness. Alas, the gas company laughed at me. Oh well.

I am lining up school visits. I am not taking payments from the schools – only asking that I can do pre-orders for my books the week before. How can I charge a school in this economy? I NEED to sell the books! That way, the publisher gets sales, then they love me, then when I say, "Hey, check out this other book I wrote! You wanna publish it?" guess what? They TOTALLY do. But in order to not give the hubs a TOTAL panic attack that I will NEVER make money again, I have applied for a grant with SCBWI for newly released books that help with marketing. If that happens, I can use that for travel expenses. I just got asked to read at the Dallas Zoo in November! How cool would THAT be?? I know, right???

I know I am in a very, very fortunate position right now to be able to do this for not much money. My husband is supporting me right now. That kills me a little bit because I HATE relying on ANYONE, but I know that if I don't use his help right now, it could take me years and years longer than it would. Notice I didn't say it would never happen. I have NO DOUBT it would, but it would just take longer. I am so lucky, but I have also worked my tookus (TOTALLY wanted to say A$$ there, see how good I am being?!?! Yay me!) off for about 10 years now to get to the position that working at home even now makes sense. Countless nights and weekends and holidays I spent painting, honing my skills, developing stories and characters, studying this industry, learning, making mistakes, failing, trying again. Every single hour, every single failure, every single small success got me to where I am today. And even with all that I wake up every morning and am grateful. And do not think for a SECOND I do not understand how FREAKING LUCKY I AM. I am grateful to the universe for giving me this opportunity, grateful to my amazing husband, grateful to my amazing friends and family whose comments throughout the day on Facebook light me up like they probably don't even know. They make me shine.

I am not sure why I am writing this. Maybe because last week I got told mean things by some people that don't understand me. Don't get me. Think I am fake, a liar, a bad parent or that I am selfish in the bad way. It hurt my feelings and I wanted to hold a grudge. I did. I got MAD. But then I could smell it. And the slime. And the ick. And I put it down, washed off my hands and sighed. Some people will never understand me or the world I live in. And I will never be able to convince them that forgiveness and moving forward and putting grudges down is SO MUCH BETTER. And you know what? Like an idiot I am already hoping that we can still work it out. Still get along. Still one day be able to sit and chat over coffee or something. Invite them into my house or to a party. How awesome would that be? See there I go again, putting on those darn (heh – good job Michelle!!) rose-colored glasses.

Dude, seriously, don't believe my me? Think my life is not really as good as I make it sound? TRY IT. I DARE YOU. Try choosing happy. Try choosing hope. Try choosing perseverance. Try choosing joy. Try choose love. Try choosing forgiveness. It gets downright addictive. Give a gift to someone that is not expecting it. Buy a card and send it. Trust me. You will not believe how incredible it feels. And yes, it is TOTALLY selfish. But when you do that for a while, you realize selfish is not a bad word. It can be an incredibly good word and the biggest gift to yourself. Do these things and watch your life change.

Okay, I am done now. I guess I had to get that ramble out. I have pigs to go paint! Have an amazing, wonderous fantastical day!!

**I now HAVE to write a book about the The Grudge. No one steal my idea, m'kay? Totally excited! I TOTALLY need to go draw a Grudge! Maybe even before I paint a pig! Lordee I do love my life.

Busy week with lots of happy and cute!

This past week I have been busy training Mr.Otto Von Schmidt, designing, new business cards, designing some fabric, editing flying pig stories, making Whatif Monsters and working on my portfolio for the SCWBI conference in LA. So busy!! Such a great week! And today I am off to Auburn, Alabama for a writer's retreat with two of my awesome writer friends! A friend is keeping Mr. Otto for me as hubbie has a reserve weekend. I'm not nervous about leaving him at all. Much.

I am particularly excited about my new piggie PB! My agent was really excited about it and loved it! She has not gotten this excited about one of my stories since Dogs, Dogs! Don't get me wrong, she is very encouraging and likes my work, but usually there is a lot of feedback and critique. This one just hit it right with her – makes me very excited! I can't decide if I will include that or my Whatif Monster dummies at the conference. Maybe both. Knowing me, I will try really hard to make the time. I would love to have both books seen by so many editors, publishers and art directors.

I have also been getting lots of emails about school visits which I am SO excited for! So far lots in Georgia and I have confirmed visits for Panama City, Florida and Charlston, SC. I am beyond excited to go share my books with so many kids. Literally a dream come true. I cannot believe it is all actually happening – something I have wanted for so long. Still just takes my breath away when I stop and think about it all. I am so very lucky.

Well, this is a pretty boring entry, but I wanted to keep up to date. I'll give you some things to look at that make me smile from ear to ear to make this more interesting and end on a fun note!



These are the new cards I just designed and ordered. I can't wait to get them. LOVE the die-cut that Uprinting</a> offers for SUCH a great price!

And how CUTE is this?? My use-to-be-sister-in-law, Kim, makes these ridiculously cute tutus, her business is called Tutu Dreamy and you can see more on her etsy site. I ordered one for a friend's daughter and asked her to make a Whatif Monster-sized too. The little girl that I am giving it to has a light purple one and loves girly stuff! I am going to be offering Whatif's with tutus soon on my etsy site. But if you need a tutu for your little girl, GO!! But be warned you may die from cuteness. Especially from the baby ones and the tutu wands!!

Kadence, Sophie and Noah's cousin, and Kim's daughter, had a birthday in May. I made her a Whatif Monster in teal/blue for a bleated birthday present. I gave it to her when Kim dropped off the tutus. Could you not just fall down dead from the cuteness??? I KNOW.

And finally, let's end with the ever adorable Otto Von Schmidt who is a little on the needy side as far as coworkers go, but I really don't mind. But dude, he does not spare your feelings when giving a critique. Ouch.

What's been keeping me busy

1. Kids doing their summer kid stuff at friends and camps and girl scouts.

2. Awesome parties with amazing friends and family.

3. Travels to Florida to visit amazing friends and families.

4. Getting my PUBLISHED BOOKS IN THE MAIL that you can buy here or here. Seriously. Go buy them. Now. I can wait……. Back? K, good!! I love you forever and ever!

5. Editing stories about fuzzy green monsters. (that my publisher loves! Cross fingers!)

6. Writing stories about flying pigs that I am about to send to my agent. Cross fingers!

7. Getting my portfolio ready for this. I am SOOOO EXCITED!

8. And in the past five days? Otto Von Schmidt!!

And yes he will be spoiled ROTTEN. Clearly. And yes he will come with me to book signings and festivals. And yes he is the cutest thing ever and he and my other GIANT pups are getting along. And YES he will have a book written about him. I mean, Just LOOK at him!!!