Dan DeWitt's Blog, page 4

The DIY Writer #1: Keeping a Proper Timeline

This is an entry in the "DIY Writer" series in which writers share their tips, tricks, and experiences to help guide others from the opening sentences to self-publishing.
The story you're reading starts on a Monday. You know this because the author said, "Monday morning, Joe drove to work." The character goes to work a couple of days, and the next thing you know, it's Friday. You think, "Hm. That's odd. They didn't mention Joe was part-time help, and I don't think I slept-read again so what's up with that?" You're confused. You decide to have a drink and mull things over. Still confused, you have another. You stare at the words, which by now are running amok on the page like horny ants. So you have another drink to make them stand still. You forget why you're drinking, so you have another. The next thing you know, you're a raging alcoholic who refuses to attend your AA meetings because they might make you read a pamphlet, and reading will bring the traumatic memories of a reckless timeline to the surface. My point? No one wants to read a story that can't follow a timeline. Not even alcoholics.
Used to, I just did my best to remember. And as we all know (especially people who know me personally), the human mind is faulty to say the least, mine being no exception. In fact, my mind is probably from where that fact derives. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Timelines. 
Last summer, I wrote a novel called The Good Neighbor. While writing it, I decided to create a file in which to make a street map so I could keep track of whose house was located where and the relation to everyone else's house. Then, I decided to list each character and their characteristics (i.e., hair color, eye color, jobs, etc.). Then, I decided that since I had already created a folder where I was keeping notes for the story, I might as well go ahead and keep track of everything else. After all, I was getting confused. I was keeping track of the whereabouts of 8 people, one of which worked two weeks on night shift and two weeks on day shift. (You see how this could be confusing.) 
So I went back to the beginning of the story and read through, marking in my file on which day the story started and each day since. It was no surprise to me that when I'd caught up with myself, I'd already gone a day over where I thought I was in the story. I fixed it, and have kept track ever since. Work smart, not hard. 
For something to be so simple and so obvious, it certainly took me long enough to stumble upon it. But it's an excellent habit to get into. Each and every time I start a story, I create two Word documents. One labeled [Title of Story], and the other labeled [Title of Story Notes]. In my notes document, I put the following:
1) I list characters by name and every detail about them. You may think you know your characters well enough to not need a list, but eventually, you'll forget who had the braces and who had the freckles.
2) I write down everything I want to happen throughout the story (I've never been one to make an actual outline) - not necessarily in order - and I check them off as I write them. I could delete them, but years from now, I may want to go back and look at my thought process, so I put a line through it.
3) During the course of writing the story, things pop into my head. I add them to the document and they eventually end up in the book's description or as a clever line in the story. 
4) I write on which day the story starts, and each day that passes. I also make a note of what day any major events occur, so I can reference it later. You don't want to say in Chapter 20, "When the bomb killed Joe on Friday…" if the bomb actually killed Joe on a Tuesday in Chapter 4. It's distracting to the reader. It draws them out of the story, which is exactly what you don't want to do. And of course, you make yourself look silly. I mean, for crying out loud, if you can't keep your story in order, it must not be worth reading. The next thing you know, your book sales drop and alcohol sales skyrocket.
5) And as a bonus for myself, I write the date, and how many words I wrote. It's amazing to go back and look at which days I wrote 8,000 words, and which days I only wrote a few hundred. As a writer, you can detect any patterns in your writing. If you never write well on Mondays, you can plan to spend Mondays working on your blog, practicing your ninja skills, preparing for the inevitable zombie invasion, or whatever you like to do in your spare time. If you write better on Fridays, you know to clear your schedule on Fridays, lock the doors, lay down the throwing stars, unplug the internet, and turn off the ringer on the phone. Chances are, this is NOT the day zombies will invade.
It's VERY important to keep your timeline straight. You owe it to yourself and your reader to keep them from becoming confused alcoholics. As a writer, you must've read at least one book in your life. You know how frustrating it is to find inconsistencies in the story. It pulls you out and draws your attention to the mistake. And this, folks, is a no-no.

Kimberly A. Bettes, Author of The Good Neighbor and Annie's Revenge. Available at Smashwords, Kobo, Scrollmotion, Apple, Diesel, Barnes & Noble, Sony, and Amazon.http://kimberlyabettes.wordpress.com

Call for contributors: This time with actual details.

If you've already read this, you know that I'm looking to do an informal blog series directed at the new writer and/or self-publisher. Several of you have expressed interest...thank you! If you have an idea for a post, just let me know ahead of time so no one's working on the same topic. You can email me here or just leave a comment on this blog; it amounts to the same thing.

With regards to posting, if you want to include any pictures in your post, just include a link. Also, I reserve the right to edit, but it's almost a certainty I won't for anything other than typos. If I need to edit beyond that for whatever reason, I'll notify you before it's posted.

The bottom line is this: If you have information to offer that will benefit other writers or self-publishing neophytes, I want to feature it. Hey, I'll probably learn something, too.

Dan

Random Writing Though from: Neil Gaiman

I'm not a big Neil Gaiman fan. That's not to say that I don't like his work. I'm saying that, outside of some Sandman when I was younger, I've never read him. I just started reading American Gods, so let's see where that goes.

However, it wouldn't matter if no one had ever heard of him. These next words are something that we authors should post above our writing desk, slap on a bookmark, or otherwise put in a conspicuous place to remind us of what it is we've all chosen to do.

A Writer's Prayer

Oh Lord, let me not be one of those who writes too much;
who spreads himself too thinly with his words,
diluting all the things he has to say,
like butter spread too thinly over toast,
or watered milk in some worn-out hotel;
but let me write the things I have to say,
and then be silent, 'til I need to speak.

Oh Lord, let me not be one of those who writes too little;
a decade-man between each tale, or more,
where every word accrues significance
and dread replaces joy upon the page.
Perfectionists like chasing the horizon;
You kept perfection, gave the rest to us,
so let me earn the wisdom to move on.

But over and above those two mad spectres
of parsimony and profligacy,
Lord, let me be brave, and let me, while I craft my tales, be wise:
let me say true things in a voice that is true,
and, with the truth in mind, let me write lies.

Planned blog series: call for contributors.

I'm planning a series of posts directed mostly at new writers and self-publishers. The topics I want to touch on include (but are no way in Hell limited to): dialogue, action, (un)common mistakes, formatting, writing groups, timelines, and marketing. I guess I already unofficially kicked this series off with "A Four-Letter Word to Describe the Self-Publishing Process", so that's a good indicator of the kind of informal yet informative content I'd like to feature.

Writing and self-pubbing is a pretty broad topic, to say the least, so I would love to see some guest posts from other writers and self-publishers. I don't mind concurrent posts that run on your own blog, so long as you have something to offer other writers: tips, good/bad experiences, reviews of writing software, etc.

I'm also drawing a blank on a catchy title for the series, so suggestions for that are welcome, too.

Dan

Zombies as I see them, zombies as they should be.

I'm appointing myself international head of something for only the second time in my life.*

Say hello to your Worldwide Zombie Commissioner. It's a lifetime appointment, so get used to it. I felt it was necessary to ascend to this post for one main reason: there seems to be too much leeway in what constitutes a true zombie nowadays. Zombies, like Hansel, are so hot right now, and some creators are taking too many liberties for my tastes.
My incontestable decrees:

Decree the First) With apologies to 28 Days Later, which was awesome, a real zombie has to have died and then been reanimated, not just be hyper-PMSing. There is no wiggle room here.

Decree the Second) With no apologies to recent George Romero, who has done his best to destroy his creation, zombies can't learn.

Decree the Third) Zombies don't remember. I may or may not have violated this in a short story recently, but only slightly. Still, I'll assess myself a hefty fine.

Decree the Fourth) As they don't breathe, zombies really shouldn't groan, either. I suppose they could in the beginning before they've gotten rid of all the air in their lungs. The zombies in my novel are silent, which I think is way creepier, but I often look past this one for dramatic effect.

Decree the Fifth) Zombies do not, I repeat, DO NOT, develop any kind of superpowers. I've seen it, and hated it every single time.

Decree the Sixth) Here's a question I've been asked more than once in the last month: "Fast or slow zombies?" Honestly, I'm fine with both. Fast in the beginning, slow later on makes sense. Thanks to Max Brooks for making me see the light on this one.

Decree the Seventh) Zombies do not reproduce. Just...no. Let's move on.

Decree the Eighth) The origin of the zombie outbreak is preferably a virus of some sort. Man-made, alien, etc...I've seen them all from time to time and it generally works. No magic spells, please. Unless you're really good.

Decree the Ninth) The infection is spread through bites. Bites.

Decree the Tenth) Hit the head or you're dead.

That is all. For now.

*I'm also International Commissioner of One-Hit Wonders. The world needed this more than you know. If I hear one more person say that a-Ha or Cutting Crew was a one-hit wonder, I'll scream.

Hostile takeover.

Writers are like snowflakes: no two are identical.*

However, as in any other profession, I imagine that we all share a lot of similar experiences. For example, I just assume that almost all writers have that moment when they realize that the page they just agonized over is complete rubbish; or experience that queasy feeling when someone whose opinion they care about is reading their work for the first time; or get an anger-fueled boost of confidence when they read a successful writer who isn't fit to carry their laptop.

But I wonder how many have had a character show absolutely no respect for authority and just do whatever the hell they want.
In my upcoming novel Ragnarok , it happened like this:

My main character was walking to a great dining hall in Asgard. There was a door in his way. A shieldmaiden (Valkyrie) opened the door for him. Then she shut it behind him. Her job was done. Good work, sweetheart. Now scram.

That's what I wanted her to do, and I'm THE MAN IN CHARGE.

Like Col. Nathan Jessup, when I give an order I know it will be followed, so I got back to the exploits of my MC (I won't spoil it too much, but to call it a "barroom brawl" wouldn't quite cover it).

Wait...what's this? That little minx snuck in there! Hey, somebody get her out of there before she gets noticed! Security!

She got noticed.

Then she got a name.

Then she got bold.

Then she got some.

Then, she completely ^%$#@! up my entire love interest and, therefore, a huge chunk of my novel.

Thanks for just opening the damn door like you were supposed to, Kajsa. If I didn't know better, I'd say that you did all of it on purpose.

I fought it. I had the entire thing plotted out in my head for a year, and there was no way I was going to let an anonymous character dictate my story to me.

For a few weeks I tried to write her out. Unfortunately, I had to come to grips with the fact that she was right to butt in and refuse to be ignored. The story was much better with her in it. Much.

I learned the hard way. Now, I would recommend to any new author that, if they're not sure what to do next, do just one thing:

Stop typing. Shut up. Listen to your characters. They're talking. We may bring them to life, but, if we've done our job well, they'll start living it for us.

*Believe me, I hated writing this even more than you hated reading it, but I was stuck for an opening line. Shut up, it's free. :-)

From the old blog 2: The day I couldn't even throw a proper tantrum.

I'm a cusser. It's how I vent.

Not when it's wholly inappropriate, mind you. But I do use invectives to let off steam bit by bit, so that I can avoid a big blowup later.

During those rare blowups, it helps to break something. Nothing valuable...an old two by four, a brick, even something as simple as snapping a branch over my knee gets it out and then it's back to business.


Let me tell you something about rose bushes (even dead ones)...

...they remember. And they can mobilize in a hurry.

It doesn't matter what you do or how carefully you do it. They. Will. Hurt. Your. Epidermis. 

When I was nearly done, one of them got me in the face. And by "got me in the face" I mean "ripped across my cheek from back to front." Hoping to keep the blowup at bay, I yelled out, "Goddammit motherfuck assbutt!!! Doggone it!" and tried to pull away.

My headphones had a different idea, wrapped around a branch and e-braked my head.

That didn't help my mood.

I had to stand there and seethe while I carefully untangled the headphones. When they were free, I stormed off, and another branch gashed me across the ankle.

I deliberately dropped my mp3 player and my sunglasses on the ground, grabbed a thick birch branch and prepared to smite it against a tree. I hauled back with everything I had, and...

...the branch broke off in my back swing and hit me in the kidney. Naturally.

I was so dumbfounded by this turn of events that I just stared at the now six-inch piece in my hand. For like a minute. And threw the stump at the tree. And missed.

At that point, I actually gave up on my tantrum, calmly geared up, and went back to work.

There really is a first time for everything.