Dee J. Adams's Blog, page 11

You Heard It Here: Happiness Is

This week my happiness is extra special! This past Wednesday was the Readers for Life Literacy Autographing at the Romance Writers of America national convention in Atlanta, Georgia. (Affectionately referred to as Hotlanta!)

Though I was thrilled to be sandwiched in between Cherry Adair and Victoria Alexander, I was a little worried about getting lost with their long lines on either side of me. It ended up not mattering because both ladies were so wonderful that I didn’t care!

 

The one and only, fabulously outrageous, Cherry Adair. And me.

Cherry especially made my night unforgettable. That woman is my new hero. She realized early on that as a new author, I wasn’t going to have a vast amount of people screaming for my autograph. LOL. But bless her New York Times Bestselling heart, she ordered me to stuff MY flyers into HER books and she plugged me to almost every author who asked for her autograph. How can you not love that?!!

I was so grateful that I might have gone a little overboard when I offered her my first born. Of course, my 16 year old daughter probably wouldn’t be thrilled to hear that, but Cherry graciously declined so my kid is safe. I can’t wait to pay Cherry’s kindness to me forward. I can only aspire to her success and hope to be in a position to help a new author who just needs a little plug.

I’m still riding my Cherry high three days later.

How about you? Has someone you ever admired done something extra special for you?

You Heard It Here: Keeping Up

You know the saying, “Better late than never?” Yeah… that’s been my life lately.

Most people juggle a certain amount of things on a regular basis. Generally, I think that if you do something enough, you get fairly proficient at it. But what happens when a person has TOO MUCH to juggle? How do you decide what gets done in a day and what doesn’t? How do you decide your priorities?

I’ll give you an example. Currently, my (3 days worth of) dirty dishes are sitting in my bathtub soaking. That is because after 23 years, I’m finally getting a new kitchen. (The old one had very few appliances working, 58 year old, cracked (avocado green) tile and linoleum… and… well, I could go on for hours, but you get the picture.) I’ve been trying to get a proposal out for weeks, but I’ve started a new day job so my writing time has dwindled to tiny increments. I’m still dealing with my father’s Alzheimer’s and the back to back releases of Living Dangerously and Against The Wall. Oh… and I’m trying to get ready for the RWA conference next week and I’ve not done a thing.

So… you see my juggling act. Did I mention this blog is about 12 hours late? Guess what fell through the cracks? I can’t do much about it, but pick up the dropped ball and toss it back into the mix. So, here I am tossing those balls up in the air, but wait, I’m forgetting something… Right! My dishes are still in the tub. Heading off for dishpan hands. (You can now imagine me hunched over the tub’s edge as I scrub away.)

How well do you guys juggle? Are you better at it than me? (I think most people probably are. ) Let me know what you think.

 

You Heard It Here: Hollywood Hearing

I can’t believe it’s July 1st! Since I missed the post last month, I figure I owe you guys one of my bigger stories. (Did I just hear a deafening whoo-hoo?)

This one happened about 23 years ago, give or take a year. I was on a set working as a stand-in. (And forgive me for being vague, but I’m not going to drop names on this one. Any of my stories that involve any type of pain -on my part- I’ll avoid outing the abuser. Although anyone who wants to do some detective work might be able to figure out from reading older posts…just sayin’!)

I was sitting on the sofa in the living room set of this particular sitcom and I was working with the main cast since the 12 year old actor I was standing-in for was in school. Well, the actor playing her mother was supposed to whack her on the back of the head. You know… kind of a smack, but not anything really bad. I knew I was going to get popped on the back of the head, but I didn’t expect the flat-hand that smacked me right over my ear. My whole head kind of erupted and popped at the same time. My first thought was, “WTF?” But I was young and stupid and the show must go on, right? So I’m waiting to say my line and I noticed that I couldn’t really hear the other actors in the scene. I mean, I could hear them, but they sounded distant.

It only took a few lines before I had to say something, but when I started to speak, I couldn’t hear my own words from my right ear. I couldn’t believe it! My eardrum had popped or ruptured or whatever happens when someone smacks you so hard you lose your hearing. After trying to get a few words out, I finally turned to the actor behind me and said (rather loudly), “I can’t believe it! You popped my eardrum! I can’t hear anything!”

I guess I should tell you that I was talking to one of the biggest sitcom stars of that time. I continued with, “I’m going to sue your ass!” To which she replied, “Get in line.”

Needless to say, I didn’t sue her because as I mentioned, I was young and stupid and I didn’t want to lose my job. (I really did love my job.) I never got any sympathy or an apology from her. I sulked at work for a few days, but my hearing came back and I was once again 100% so I let it go.

I really did shock myself with my response and looking back on it, her reply was classic. I should’ve expected it. Actually, she did something even more violent another time, but that’s a different story for a later date!!

Speaking of dates… today the blog tour for Against The Wall continues at Just Romantic Suspense. Stop in and comment for a chance to win Living Dangerously!

So what about you? Did you ever surprise yourself or someone else by standing up for yourself with an outburst? I’d love to know!

You Heard It Here: Happiness Is…

I’m going to be honest… as I mentioned to a twitter pal not so long ago, life keeps throwing hurdles and I keep jumping. Finding a “Happiness Is” has been a little tougher for me this month.

I’ve made myself focus on each day so I can face all the things happening in my life and since this past weekend was Father’s Day and my little family took a much needed 2 day vacay to La Jolla, I can say that Happiness is spending time with my awesome family.

Here’s the view from our room in La Jolla. Not bad, right?

There may be only 3 of us, but we are mighty. We talk, we laugh, we get along and we (usually!) respect each other. Happiness was also spending time with my big brother and his wife. Two people I love and don’t get to see nearly enough.

I know my I’ve had past post where I’ve mentioned my gratitude for my husband and daughter, but somethings are so special that they deserve the shout. My family is one of them.

AND… because I just this evening received a couple of print copies of Against The Wall, I must also say that happiness is watching my dreams become reality. Not only do I have an amazing family, but seeing my story in print and knowing it’s available for anyone who wants a copy has absolutely lifted my spirits in way you can’t even imagine! Those beach shots are gorgeous… but check this out…

What about you? What’s your happiness this month?

You Heard It Here: The Tough Times

It dawned on me June 6 that I never posted my first of the month Hollywood story and I had a mini freak-out. I couldn’t believe I missed a post. Then I remembered where I was and why I missed it.

People who frequent my FaceBook page know I’ve been dealing with a family emergency, but I’ve been a little cryptic. I’ve decided to come out and just talk about it because I know I’m not the only one going through this. My dad has Alzheimer’s and my brother, sister and I decided it was time he receive more care so I took trip to Texas to facilitate a move.

My dad knew I belonged to him, but he didn’t really understand how. He called my by his little brother’s name all week. I was actually kind of glad he remembered that much. The hardest part about the whole thing was watching his confusion. When asked a question, he was unable to understand or answer it. He learned years ago to speak to people with generic responses so that they really didn’t understand that he didn’t understand what they were saying. (Of course, it doesn’t help that my father is deaf, which takes understanding to a different level.)

I won’t go into the details since they aren’t happy or fun. Anyone who’s dealt with a loved one with Alzheimer’s understands the difficulty. Watching my father’s decline is truly one of the hardest things I think I’ve ever gone through. No one imagines they will be in this position until it happens to them, I guarantee it. I never thought I’d be feeding my father or trying to explain to him where he was or who I was. I never thought I’d see him look so frail and old. He’s turned into a different man.

(This is a diagram of the brain in different stages of Alzheimer’s.)

I’ve said it to my family and I’ll say it to the world… If I die suddenly, you can be shocked, you can miss me, you can even be sad (for a little while) that I’m not around, but ultimately, I want you to be happy that I didn’t die from a terrible, debilitating disease. I once saw a poster that said, “Getting old isn’t for sissies.” That is the damn truth.

Already, I’ve begun to prep my daughter on what I want her to do and don’t want her to do should I follow in my father’s footsteps. I don’t want her feeling guilty, I want her to leave my care to professionals who deal with this kind of disease on a regular basis. I want her to live and enjoy her life to the best of her ability. Let’s face it, I didn’t do my kid any favors by making her an only child, but I’m sure she’ll have a support system by way of cousins, family and friends. The fact that she’s ultimately alone when it comes to the decision making is only another reason I don’t want her to worry about me. Hell, I won’t know the difference.

Anyway… that’s been my life lately. How about you? How healthy are your parents? Have you reached the point where the child is taking care of the parent?

 

You Heard It Here: Opposites Attract

First I want to announce yesterday’s winner of Danger Zone! Denise Z! Congratulations, Denise! I’ll be contacting you!

I’m breaking the rules by posting today, but I figured release week called for a little excitement! Since yesterday was the normal Happiness Is post, today is a little bit meatier.

One of the reasons I loved writing this book was to show how opposites attract. Julie Fraser is mega-famous and desperately craves a regular guy who doesn’t have an issue with her job or public persona. Troy Mills is a quiet P.I. who can’t imagine himself with an A-list actress. She wants the solid relationship that dating a normal man can afford her. He wants the confidence and strength of a woman who knows what’s important in life. Relationships and family. He doesn’t expect to find it in a Hollywood starlet. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Troy saves Julie’s life on more than one occasion, but it takes more than that for two people to click. Julie’s need to make people laugh feeds into Troy’s need to smile. Her positive outlook on life pulls him out of the darkness of his childhood. These two are perfect for each other.

(Okay, this shot has nothing to do with the book, but I couldn’t resist dropping it in. These two are as adorable as Julie and Troy! In fact, that’s what I’ve named them. LOL.)

I sometimes wonder if opposites attract because a person sees in the other person what they wish they could be themselves. My husband and I aren’t polar opposites, but he is very outgoing and adventurous. His constant need to experience new things has pulled me out of my shell dozens of times over the years and I’ve done things I never would’ve done without him. I think opposites tend to balance each other out in a good way as long as there is communication, respect and friendship in a relationship.

I talk about Julie’s debut movie, Dangerous Race, (which is still FREE by the way!) quite a bit in Living Dangerously, since it was playing the role of Trace Bradshaw that brought Julie to super-star status. But the actual making of the movie occurred in Danger Zone. So, to celebrate Living Dangerously, I’m giving away a copy of Danger Zone (Adrenaline Highs #2) to one lucky commenter.

So tell me…why do you think opposites attract? And once they do attract do you think they can stick together?

You Heard It Here: Happiness Is…

Today is a no-brainer!!

Happiness is… the release day of Living Dangerously!!!

I’m so happy this book is finally out! It’s been a long time coming, that’s for sure! I’m giving away a copy of Danger Zone to a lucky commenter. (It’s the book where you first meet Julie Fraser, the heroine of Living Dangerously. And of course you get another glimpse of P.I. Troy Mills who first appeared in Dangerous Race.)  Dangerous Race is currently free, so if you haven’t picked it up, you can do that too! It’s at Carina Press and Amazon.

Just tell me the name of your favorite auto-buy author or if you had a book you had to pre-order or snap up on release day. (Obviously, it doesn’t have to be one of mine. LOL.)

As always, I want to just give a shout out to all my readers to say thank you for your presence on my website, Facebook and Twitter pages! You guys are awesome and I can’t thank you enough!

AND… I have a big surprise for you in a few days… Stay tuned!!

 

You Heard It Here: Communication?

Recently (in dealing with my daughter’s driving instructor), I’ve come to realize that some people just aren’t great communicators. They might mean well, but they can’t see or don’t notice when their words fall on deaf ears.

I tend to be an observer. I watch for people’s body language or the way they speak. I look for clues as to what might be happening in their head while they talk and move. I’ll admit, I’m astounded when other people can’t read a situation, especially one that’s as clear as the nose on their face. (Or hair on the head or any other analogy I can come up with!)

Granted, I have to take into account that everyone is different as are people’s experiences, but still, how clueless are some people? As I’ve discovered… Very.

I mean, do you really need to be a parent to realize if a teenager is listening to you or do you need x-ray vision to see if someone is having an anxiety attack in front of your eyes?

Maybe it’s because I’m an observer and I think everyone is. Most of the time (and I say most because everyone has a bad day–me included), I can tell when people are tuned in or tuned out (and I actually talk about that in my pitch workshop). I get a feel for the mood and either try to lighten it up accordingly or NOT lighten it up accordingly. (If that makes sense.) So sometimes I just want to shkaba (pronounced shkaba!) someone on the side of the head and say, “Yo, do you see what’s happening here?”

Okay, I think this ends my mini-rant. So what about you? Can you read a room or a person? Are you good at communicating or do you want to punch people that aren’t good at it? I’m curious to know.

You Heard It Here: Hollywood Then and Now

Today’s story isn’t so much a story as a general remembrance of one particular person during my years working on Roseanne. I was there for the first four seasons of the show and I was very young. It was only my second television show and it was the first place I began working as a dialogue coach. It was also the first time I worked with anyone who was still in single digits!

I’m talking about Michael Fishman. The thing I loved about him most was his ability to make Roseanne laugh. And trust me, that was always a good thing. (Here’s a pic of Michael when I worked with him and a picture of him now.)

I didn’t interact with Michael that much on set because I was busy working with Roseanne (whether it was standing in for her or Sara Gilbert or dialoguing coaching), but I do remember how much he enjoyed being there. He always had a smile on his face.

The reason I bring all this up is because Michael and I reconnected through FaceBook and we saw each other over a year ago when Roseanne and John Goodman came together to shoot a pilot written by Roseanne. (The show didn’t get picked up, but the reunion of cast and crew from the show was awesome in itself. It was so good to catch up with so many people from two decades ago. It was especially amazing for me to see a 30 year old man when the last I’d seen was a 10 year old boy! Talk about a time warp!) Recently, we found time to get together for lunch and catch up. That’s 20 years of catching up! Yes, it was a long lunch. LOL. But so much fun!

Hollywood has a tendency to break people and I always worry about children (who grow up) in television. Many learn bad habits and fall into different kinds of addictions. (You know who I’m talking about!). So I couldn’t have been more thrilled to discover that Michael has a good head on his shoulders. He’s a smart man with a loving family and he’s a great father. Yep, that little boy I remember so well is a father to two kids ages 13 and 10. How’s about them apples. The boy started young! But everyone travels a different path and some people are meant to be young parents. (I just wasn’t one of them. Haha.) It was a huge relief to see him happy and well balanced  and with his priorities straight. It was an awesome reunion!

So what about you? Any good stories of meeting up with someone twenty years later? Were they what you expected or completely not?

You Heard It Here: Happiness Is

This month’s happiness is stems from the horrific bombing in Boston on April 15th. My original thought was to go back to the old standby that I always try to keep at the forefront of my mind and that’s gratitude for the health and happiness and of my family. But as I thought about it more, I realized one of the best ways to counteract such a terrible event is to make someone smile. So this month, happiness is:

Paying it Forward. 

Did you know there was an actual “Pay it Forward” Day? It’s only 5 days away. April 25! (click the link above to learn more!)

I put this challenge out on Facebook and twitter on Tuesday, but I’m going to repeat it here. I challenge anyone reading this to do something that will make someone else smile. Do it for the simple fact that your action will make someone else happy.

I’ll share my pay it forward.

Last month I ran across a fellow Carina Press author’s book. And by ran across, I mean I got to actually hold it in my hands and take it home with me. Those of you familiar with Carina Press know they are a digital imprint first, so finding a print version of a Carina book is kind of like hitting the mother lode! I’m 99% sure the book was printed for the RWA RITA contest (just like my 2012 releases – Danger Zone and Dangerously Close – were). So I was thrilled to email Sandy James and tell her that not only had I read and loved her book Rules of the Game, but I was going to mail it to her since those print versions are hard to come by.

I do believe I made Sandy smile. And it made me feel good the rest of the day. It will make me feel good when I go the post office to mail it and it will make me feel good when she opens her mailbox and sees her book.

So once again, I challenge you! Yes, I’m talking to you! Go out and make someone smile! Why wait until the 25th? Be brave and start now! I’ll bet you won’t be able to hold back your own grin. Pay it forward. You’ll be glad you did.

Okay… tell me your pay it forward story! I can’t wait to hear it.