Z.L. Arkadie's Blog, page 13

EXPOSED, BOSS BILLIONAIRE SPENCER CHRISTMAS

OMG, I am so late with this post. I’d been writing my tail off, trying to meet my edit deadlines for The Secret Billionaire Asher Christmas Trilogy! Anway… If you missed it here it goes!   Newlyweds Spencer Christmas and Jada Forte are struggling to keep their relationship above water in light of his senatorial campaign against Jada’s mother, Patricia Forte. But this couple won’t go down without a fight, especially when they receive unexpected news that changes everything. Regular e-Book Price: $3.99 Print Price: $14.99

Exposed Releases Tomorrow!

Just a reminder that Exposed, Boss Billionaire Spencer Christmas releases tomorrow! You’ll be able to grab it from all retailers tomorrow or reserve your copy today!

50 Years Old: Life, Live, Love Lesson #4

I definitely want to fit this in today! I’m writing Seduction, The Secret Billionaire Asher Christmas. I’ve gotten through the hard part, the beginning, and now I’m on easy street, and loving the story! Anyway, this lesson is something I CONSTANTLY have to reach into my toolbox to keep myself from doing. So here it goes: Arguing is a futile effort. Don’t argue. I’ll say it again. Arguing is a futile effort, exercise, and action. So try not to do it. Talking, conversing, communicating is the way to go. Only, the problem with that is, you’ll have to be mature enough to accept not getting what you want. Stay with me… One day, I was arguing with my ex and that’s when it hit me. I was arguing with him because I wanted him to do what I needed him to do so that I could be happy. And he wasn’t capable of giving that to me. Then, I was arguing with this person or that person, and the same illumination struck me. We were not going to get anywhere. I had to step back and figure out if I can even get from that person what I’m trying to get by arguing. Get it? We argue because we need the other person to “see the light”, change and give us what we want or need. That’s it, and that’s all. And the fact that we’re arguing in the first place is a clue that the other person is not seeing the light and not even close to doing so. Arguing creates acute stress and creates a fight or flight response within us. So eventually my ex would take flight. He would apologize to shut me up, but then not long after we ended in the same place again. Another apology, until the next time. Men do that a lot, you know. The act is often depicted in popular fiction.  You see the man swallowing his pride, giving up his power to agree with her. Then, they follow it up with this stupid saying, that I think needs to be banished, “Happy wife,  happy life.” As if it takes only one person to make a relationship happy. I promise you, he better be TRULY happy as well, or there will be no happiness at all. That’s another thing I learned about the male. A man will ALWAYS empower himself, one way or another. You want to beat him down? He will go to a strip club and screw with one of the prostitutes. He will sleep with your best friend. He will have several relationships with women on-line. Is he your son? He will lay on the bed all day, stinky, and doing nothing until the next time you go into his room, shouting, yelling and getting nowhere loudly. A man will ALWAYS strike back–it may not be physically but it’ll be emotionally and done with precision to take us down a peg. So basically, arguing and fussing never cures the cycle–with men or women. Why? We are all people who seek to empower ourselves and protect ourselves. Arguing is fighting. A person will never interject rationality or pragmatism while engaged in the exercise of arguing. Although I remember once a long time ago, I was arguing with this guy over something my youngest sister did (later discovered she was in the wrong), and he and I were just yelling until he said, “there’s a newborn baby in the room.” I shut up immediately. All the anger left my body as I looked at that baby, then I apologized. He was shocked, I had come down so fast. We actually went outside and had a rational conversation after that. I just remembered that… It was by accident that he said something that triggered me that way. New life. I respect a new human. I know that they are like sponges and if you bring negativity into their environment, they will feel the stress. They will… Babies feel it. Anyway… Maybe something like that could happen while arguing,  maybe… Children have always been my stop-button. They stop me cold turkey from acting out negatively and aggressively. They’re just so innocent and have their whole lives ahead of them. I never want to be part of a negative experience they had while being so young and at the mercy of older, stronger humans. Anyway… That’s the lesson in a nutshell. I don’t argue with people anymore. I’m not black or white with them either. I assess the situation. I give them space to be human. Then I think about it, is who they are good or bad for me, or do I lose anything by being indifferent. What do I do instead? I set a boundary and follow-through. Period. That’s the action to take instead of arguing. It’s the solution. Also, I think about it. Why does that person’s behavior make me so unhappy? Maybe I need to break off the relationship with that person if their behavior puts a heavy burden on me. Maybe I need to set standards of interaction with that person if every time I get off the phone with her I feel icky as if I’d been dragged into negativity and unkindness. Get it… Assess. Always asses before arguing and figure out what boundary to set, if a boundary needs to be set, and be prepared to follow-through. A boundary is nothing but hot air if there’s no follow-through. And never forsake the aid of a GOOD therapist, to help us get to where we can begin setting boundaries and following through. And I mean a good therapist because most therapists suck. Here’s a bit of advice, a good therapist will respect and do inner-child work. You can never heal until you go back and resolve the traits we acquired from emotional survival as a child. All of our damage is connected to that wounded little boy or girl inside, and it’s now OUR responsibility to be his or her nurturing parent. But we have to learn how to be a good parent to ourselves, and to do that, we can’t parent ourselves with a wounded inner-child driving our bus. Get it??? And this goes for lecturing and unsolicited advice as well. Both are no different than arguing with someone. Both are also actions taken to get someone else to do what we want so that we could be happy or satisfied. In a nutshell, that’s called CODEPENDENCY. And I’m a recovering codependent And I get it. I’ve learned that codependence is a result of a stew of things, but one meat in the pot is that we love someone and only want the best for them–especially our kids, right??? Like, my first nephew was and is a light in my heart. When he came into the world, I never knew I could love so much. And then watching him become a human being… Learning who God made him… The big problem was, he wasn’t my child. My sister used to say he was just like me–that was not her being complimentary. And he is like. We’re very similar. We’re both independent-minded. You can’t feed us a story and expect us to believe it because you spoke it with that “this is the truth” tone. We’ll test our beliefs and make sure it makes sense. We’ll do things our way, find our path, and you can’t and never will be able to control us. He and I have that in common. I would’ve raised him a lot different than she had because of our similarities and both of us being from the same family. I’d gone through it before he had. Listen, this family of mine is a staunch matriarchy of women who lead with their masculine–no feminine, NONE. This post is not about that but I had survived and now thrive and am no longer in crisis mode. But my nephew had been in a power struggle with his mother ever since he was like seven or eight. I would’ve never engaged in a power struggle with my child. I would’ve listened and tried to validate or clarify his thoughts and how his mind was making meaning at his age, because of my experience. But my sister picked up our family traits. She was like, “I’m the mom, so I’m right, now get over there.” Sigh… And so now, my nephew is 22 and trying to figure out how to reclaim that power she had stripped away from him. I got to tell you, he’s a mess. Like a mess. Ohh… Lordy… A mess. He’s what emotional survival had made him. The assessment before going head to head with him, trying to argue, lecture and shame him on what I think is his right path… I was what emotional survival had made me at 22 as well. And so, I had/have to remember that. It’s his life. I’m not paying his bills for him to stay stalled, so I have no power in the situation. He’s not asking me, “Auntie, how do I get out of my jam so that I get out of survival/crisis mode and start thriving?” So, I don’t give him unsolicited advice. Believe me, I tried that, it didn’t turn out pretty.  He doesn’t want to hear it. He’s too angry at his mother. To hurt. And all the women in my family with the power to do something about it, don’t have the tools to do something about it. Four generations of mostly stalled men, and over-achieving women. So let me tell you… I’m in the trenches. I’m not just writing this stuff from my high-horse. But I learned a thing or two about God and humanity. My nephew, each human, has their own path to walk. We all have our damage caused by emotional survival to either conquer, be in a relationship with (Most humans choose to remain in relationship with their damage by justifying it, make it the truth, values, beliefs, the way it is and everybody must think and live that way.) or ignore it (Those people who put on a persona in order to get as far away from the pain and damage as possible.). My nephew is going to make his choice. I’ll always love him regardless of the decision he makes. I hope and I pray to God every day he chooses option number one. We are similar in the ways that count, which means, I’m betting on him pulling through, regardless of how the women in my family tolerate and nurture slothfulness in men and in effect smothering their masculine power. That’s a whole other post about why that is. I will say, thanks to my ex-boyfriend, who I will always be grateful for, I learned a lot about those same traits in myself. I’m a much different woman/feminine being than I was before I met him five years ago, and it’s because of our beautiful yet heartbreaking relationship that most certainly had to end. Anyway… That’s it. Don’t argue. Figure out other ways, better ways, more effective ways to communicate with others or yourself. Peace, Z

Intrigued in Audiobook Now on Amazon.com!

Yay! FYI, you can now buy Intrigued, The Dark Billionaire Jasper Christmas in the audio version or Amazon.com. Don’t delay! Start listening today! I have to keep this short, but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I’ve been so, so, so busy this weekend, working of course. I had to prepare LOVE in the USA to go wide again, and with new covers and remember I took the series from twelve to ten books. Also, so… Seduction is not only a secret billionaire story but it’s set in a hospital. Sigh… Not easy to write. Tons of research has to be done, but finally, I’m finding my footing. I have some blog posts I want to write.

Just For You “Intrigued” Audio Sample!

Listen, you do not want to miss narrator Cate Strey’s performance of Intrigue (The Dark Billionaire Jasper Christmas, Book 1) by me, Z.L. Arkadie. I promise you that when I was accepting the chapters, I was biting my nails waiting for her to send me the next one.  Her performance is just so delicious. You have to listen for yourself, which is why I added audio samples to this post! You can also now purchase the audio version on Audible, Apple, Google Play and Chirp. Have you heard of Chirp? They’re owned by Bookbub. You should check them out! So, without further delay, here’s the sample! Listen to the rest, buy the book at one of the retailers below!   

Just For You “Intrigued” Audio Excerpt!

Listen, you do not want to miss narrator Cate Strey’s performance of Intrigue (The Dark Billionaire Jasper Christmas, Book 1) by me, Z.L. Arkadie. I promise you that when I was accepting the chapters, I was biting my nails waiting for her to send me the next chapter so that I could listen to it.  Her performance was just delicious. You have to listen for yourself, which is why I added audio samples to this post! You can also now purchase the audio version on Apple, Google Play and Chirp. Have you heard of Chirp? They’re owned by Bookbub. You should check them out! So, without further delay, here’s the sample! Listen to the rest, buy the book at one of the retailers below!   

Coming in 2020 by Z.L. Arkadie!

Okay, so, I didn’t do this last year but I had been doing a post like this almost every year before then. I stopped because sometimes I couldn’t follow through on what I said was coming. However, I have some surefire plans for next year. Want to hear them? Here they are! The first is already locked and loaded and ready to go as soon as I pull the LOVE in the USA series out of Kindle Unlimited. I’m pretty positive having the series in KU didn’t do me that much good. I just don’t get the value of Amazon’s exclusive clause if they don’t push the book. Regardless, LOVE in the USA was written in a unique way. I worked harder not smarter. So, I was able to combine Know Her, Love Her with Explore Her, More of Her and make then into one book. I was also able to combine Still In Love With Her and Made To Like Her and make those two into one as well. That way, I don’t leave readers hanging after Know Her, Love Her and Still In Love With Her ends with no resolution to the characters’ love crisis. Coming after I pull the books out KU, readers will be able to read through Daisy and Belmont, and Maggie Vince’s mistakes, straight to them mending their problems and setting their feet back on the road to a HEA. That means, I’m axing Explore Her More of Her and Made to Like Her. There will only be ten books in the series: Find Her, Keep Her (book 1) There’s Something About Her (book 2) Say You Love Her (book 3) Know Her Love Her (book 4) Still In Love With Her (book 5) He’s So Bad (book 6) which will feel appropriate after Still In Love With Her Made To Love Her (book 7) He’s So Good (book 8) Say You Love Me (book 9) Adore Her, More of Her (book 10) Secondly, get ready for all the Christmas family trilogies in the audio version! That’s right! Cate Strey is working on Desire, The Dark Billionaire Jasper Christmas, Book 2 now. Next, she’ll narrate Claimed, The Dark Billionaire Jasper Christmas, Book 3, and fingers crossed she can also do The Freed Billionaire Spencer Christmas Trilogy as well. You’re in for a treat because she is a real professional. I was  HOOKED during the process of approving the chapters. I was listening to the book as if I was a fan, who hated having to wait for the next chapters! LOL! I kid you not. Listening to The Dark Billionaire Jasper Christmas Trilogy in audio is going to be a brand new and magnificent experience. I kid you not! Thirdly, I’ll be finishing up Asher Christmas’ trilogy, and getting it ready for it’s April 30th release date. And… Drum roll… When you finish Exposed, Boss Billionaire Spencer Christmas you’re going to want to know what happened between Bryn and Jamison Cox. Coming on September 30, 2020, will be The Heiress Billionaire Bryn Christmas Trilogy! So those are my plans for 2020. After I write Bryn’s Trilogy, I’ll assess what to do next. I’m starting to play with some ideas. I like billionaires. Let’s face it, ladies, men who pay the bills and don’t bitch and moan and penny-pinch while doing it, are sexy. A man with ambition who keeps himself powerful by working diligently, being smart, shrewd and consistent–we want more of that man too. I want to give you more of him. He’ll be making an appearance in a new series in 2021. See… I don’t think I over-promised this year! That’s doable. Six books next year by Z.L. Arkadie get ready because here they come! Peace, Z

50 Years Old: Life, Live, Love Lesson #3

OK… So this lesson may seem small but I promise you it is larger than life, like, literally larger than life. Vitamins. Like, I didn’t know and I wish I had known 20 years ago. And I’m not talking about those chemical latent vitamins they sell cheaply at Walmart. I’m talking about REAL good vitamins. Vitamin deficiency eventually caught up to me. When you’re young you never think about what the body needs. You never think about humanity’s roots and how the first humans lived so different than how we live today. And most of that difference is reflected in our diet. And for that reason, so many of us are vitamin deficient and I personally believe the healthcare providers know this! Look at your labs and how they leave out tests for vitamin C, K, E, A and magnesium. I read that 75% of Americans are magnesium deficient! Yikes! So let me tell you something that happened to me recently. About fifteen years ago I had gallbladder removal surgery. All my doctor told me was that I didn’t need it. And because back then the Internet wasn’t as big as it is now and the circumstances that led me to the hospital were so drastic, I didn’t question the treatment. Fast forward 15 years later and I had flatlined levels Vitamin D deficiency. I used to have a sharp mind where I could remember numbers as soon as I looked at them. One of my former bosses told me how impressive my recall for numbers was. It was–very impressive. It certainly was. Well, that was gone! I was struggling to remember three simple numbers after I looked at them, turned away and tried to recall them again. I used to be able to remember credit card numbers like that, snaps fingers. I would wake up in the middle of the night with night blindness in my left eye. And, the hot flashes–OMG. Not to mention I was sluggish all the time. There were so many more things going wrong in my body and brain. Oh, and I was gaining weight without eating more than I normally did. Also, my blood pressure was through the roof and I could see that I was bloated. I knew something was wrong inside me because I’ve always been in touch with my body. Doctors always want to chalk these changes up to aging. They want to prescribe pills, tell us to take them so that we can become dependent on them. Listen I hate to sound so fatalistic about the ordeal but that’s another thing I learned after 50 years of being alive–only in very rare cases will people, systems and corporations’ put their integrity above profits. So you have to pay attention. You have to be open to hearing and following the non-traditional advice. Trust your instincts–that’s God. So, and this makes me teary-eyed just thinking about it, but after I had my gallbladder surgery no one and I mean no one told me that I would never digest food the same. The gallbladder operates as a washing machine by using bile salts to scrub and absorb the nutrients from fats before food enters the small intestine and then the liver. That mechanism was no longer part of my bodily functions. My body wasn’t getting any of the vitamins that are absorbed from fats like A, K, D, E, and Magnesium. I also learned that they all are interdependent, meaning they need each other to work properly. Learning that was a life-changer. OK, so, at the beginning of October, I went to my annual checkup. When I arrived, my blood pressure was through the roof. The nurse who took my BP contacted a nurse practitioner, who instructed me to leave right away and go to the emergency room before I stroke out. I assured her that it was normal. My blood pressure jumped to the highest highs to normal and could do it all in a course of ten minutes. They let me sit for a few minutes and saw that was right. The NP became quite alarmed and took a good look at my lab results. She showed me where my D levels were flatlined and they had been in the same state last year too. Basically, I had made no progress even though I was taking cod liver oil every day. Then she said, “You have no gallbladder.” Her tone was like, ah, I see why. She told me that my body couldn’t absorb vitamin D, and the deficiency can be the source of a lot of my issues. The first thing she told me to do was to stop taking the cod liver oil and to take bile salts with meals along with non-oil-based vitamin D. I did/do that. I take an enzyme with bile salts with every meal. I also looked deeper into my vitamin deficiency and found this,IF YOUR GALLBLADDER HAS BEEN REMOVED, which taught me I was more than likely lacking vitamin A (night blindness), E, K and Magnesium. I started taking all of those as well, including beets. I can recall numbers again. The night blindness is gone. Also, the sight in my left eye was losing color–the vividness is back! No more hot-flashes, not one! My BP is normal again. The bloating is gone. Just like that, I look ten years younger than what I looked before. I was starting to look old. I say that because good genes run in my family and I NEVER looked my age, but I was beginning to look it. However, now, I solidly look younger again. Oh, and, I used to blame my mattress for my crappy sleep, I now know it was my body! My joints ached and could never get comfortable. That’s done! Two weeks into my vitamin regimen and my bed was comfortable again! I know right??? It’s crazy how simple that was–the fix. And cheaper than buying another mattress that wouldn’t work. My whole life has changed. However, here’s what was true, my lack of gallbladder made me severely vitamin deficient. I’m no longer vitamin deficient. Our bodies NEED vitamins. And if it wasn’t for that nurse practitioner, who wasn’t even my doctor, I somehow got her because my BP was through the roof, I probably never would’ve known any of it. So now I’m passing it on to you… Life, Live, Love Lesson #3 is to learn your vitamin levels. Make sure they’re good. I promise it’ll be worth it. That link I provided, read that, it’s good stuff. Even if you have a gallbladder, the vitamin portion can be very helpful. Not having a gallbladder is just one of many ways we become vitamin deficient. You know those people who never smoked or been around smokers and suddenly came lung cancer? Vitamin deficiency can cause lung cancer. I mean, read it. It’s amazing, just amazing. And now back to crafting Seduction. I’m at the beginning and that’s the hardest part of the story to write.

Intrigued Is Coming in Audiobook Format!

Yes, that’s right! You heard it correctly. The same person who narrated Find Her, Keep Her, Cate Strey, has done  Intrigued and she is the best! She’s almost finished. I am listening through the final files and I am so happy with how she captured the mood of the story and the persona of Holly Henderson. Stay tuned! I’ll let you know when it’s available for purchase in the upcoming weeks! And I’ll try to figure out a first chapter sample or something as well. This is just a quick FYI! Until then, Z  

50 Years Old: Life, Live, Love Lesson #2

Something I’ve learned by looking at previous boyfriends from then to now–there’s no better version of him, FOR ME, that has risen out of our ashes after we broke up or cut ties. I’m here to tell you in all cases of my exes 20, 10, 30 or 5 years later leaving them has been the best decision I’ve ever made. So listen… Recall what I said in Life, Live, Love Lesson #1 about taking ownership. Fifty years of life and taking ownership has finally become very easy for me to do these days. So… My exes had me. And I had them. And we chose each other for however long we were involved. A guy who chose to be with the person, I’ve done a lot of work not to be anymore would’ve had commitment issues, stemming from a mother who he couldn’t count on for safe emotional support. And vice versa, he would’ve had to have been akin to my barely-there father who I couldn’t count on to adore me, respect me and show me I deserved devotion and love. So here’s the clincher. Most of my exes are still that guy, who’s never done his work to stop needing to choose women like the woman I used to be. I remember years ago when I entered a new unit (military). There were these two guys who were in that unit but leaving within that first week of my arrival. Both of them liked me right away. One was tall, handsome, wore glasses and he had this sexy little dimple in his chin. Like, sexy Clark Kent. He was only days away from leaving our unit to go be an MP. He asked me out on a date, bought me flowers, treated me so sweet and admiring, you know. He really liked me, and I couldn’t even kiss him. But the other guy, who was his friend, had a girlfriend but kept flirting with me. He was good-looking too, the same height as the good guy, somewhere above 6’4″, and always showing me that I had to chase him if I wanted any of his affection. He was never going to buy me flowers. He was never catchable, and deep down I knew it but he was my comfortable uncomfortable so I kept wanting him. Oh to win the love of my father… Guess which one was similar to my daddy issues. Guess which one I let go of.