Cindy Sutherland's Blog, page 7

Some thoughts, a give away and a fic rec (of course)

So, I’m writing something and I’m not sure if I’m going on the right direction with it, but I like the idea so I will keep going. My inspiration is not a fandom this time, but a person and an idea. Maybe I will tell you who and what sometime.

I haven’t heard from Dreamspinner about the submission I made, but at the moment I’m going with no news is good news. I will keep hoping.

I went to the local library the other day. I used spend a lot of time there, but with all the writing I’m doing and the fact that I read mostly ebooks on my computer, I have been remiss in saying hi to my friends there. While there, I went to the card catalogue and looked myself up…I’m not there yet. But, I looked up Dreamspinner and was gratified to see several pages of books listed there and so I have hope for the future.

The librarian, a wonderful lady I’ve known for years, came to chat with me and asked what I was doing. I told her I was looking myself up in the card catalogue (as I blushed like crazy) and she asked why so I told her about my stories. She asked me why they didn’t have any copies of my books and I said “because they are gay romance novels”. She looked at me like I was nuts and I was getting ready to defend myself when she said “So? We’d love to have them.”

Huh…I wonder how one goes about donating an ebook to the local library?

Also, the more I hear coming out of Russia and from the IOC, the more I think any gay athletes and their supporters should just stay home. I know you have a point to make, I know you’ve trained so hard and so long for your chance to be there, but it’s not worth your safety. And as the IOC has threatened to ban anyone who attempts to make a stand, you would be there without any backup. I know you will probably go and I understand. I’ll be the person sitting at home not watching the Olympics and hoping desperately that you will all return home safe and sound.

Meanwhile, I’m watching as state after state and country after country are coming to terms with equality and while I know there is a long way to go, these steps that are being taken in the right direction almost every day give me hope that one day everyone I care about will be treated with respect and dignity.

So, I’m feeling a little nostalgic so I’ve decided to do a giveaway. Comment here or at my FB author’s page and I will pick a winner in a couple of days. Any of my stories, the winner picks the one they want. Here is the link to me at Dreamspinner so you can read the blurbs and pick one. http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=55_454

The link for my FB authors page is here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Cindy-Sutherland-Dreamspinner-Author/313915495374744

Sorry for the shortness of today’s blog, but RL is definitely busy this week. 5 small children under 6 is enough to keep anyone busy, so I don’t feel too bad for feeling like a Mack truck ran over me at the end of the day.

But, I do have a fic rec for you. Beyond Duty by SJD Peterson is a wonderful story about two soldiers who’ve loved each other for years and then end of DADT means changes for them. They are good changes but still hard for men who’ve lived the military life of rules and routine. I loved watching as they figured out how to be with each other the way they always wanted to be. Do yourself a favor and read this story that’s sure to make you smile. Here is the Dreamspinner link: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=4097&cPath=55_424 and here is the Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Duty-ebook/dp/B00EAE7HQM/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1376486815&sr=1-1&keywords=beyond+duty

And as always, you can find me at the Dreamspinner link above or at Amazon as well: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=Cindy%20Sutherland&search-alias=digital-text&sort=relevancerank

Russia is out of step with the rest of the world

So, it seems to me that some people and some countries are always out of step with the rest of the world and while that can be a good thing, sometimes it’s really not. Sometimes it just ends up make you look like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Or in the case of Russia, like you are taking a giant step backwards in your evolutionary process.

The recently adopted draconian laws against the LGBTQ community harkens back to the days of iron-fisted Tsars and it terrifies me. Watching on the news as people are arrested and beaten for nothing more than declaring who they love makes me wonder what kind of Hitler-like aspirations Valdimir Putin has.

It seems kind of telling to me that these laws have been brought into action mere months before the opening of the Sochi Olympics. I’m hoping that if the laws had been in place earlier that the Olympic committee would not have decided to award them to Russia.

So now the countries and athletes who are supposed to be participating come February are left with a difficult choice…or at least I hope it’s difficult. Do they go to the Olympics or not?

And I get it, I really do. Years and years of training for the chance to show the rest of the world what you can do and make your country proud. It’s the ultimate aspiration for the best athletes in the world. But the 2010 Winter Olympics will forever be tainted because of the country they are being held in and the man who decided to put these laws into place.

For the members of the LGBTQ community the choice is doubly hard. Do they go and spend the whole time in fear of discovery and prosecution? Putin has assured the world that the laws will not be enforced against athletes and others connected to the Olympics but other members of his own government have stated that the laws will indeed be in effect.

So, what to do? Do you go and participate and use the fact that the eyes of the world will be on Sochi to make a statement? Or do you boycott the Olympics and make the statement the kind of persecution going on in Russia is unacceptable?

I am torn on this subject. On one hand, I like the idea of making a statement. I’d love to see someone unfurl a rainbow flag during a medal ceremony! But on the other hand I’m terrified that in their zeal to make a point, someone might end up hurt or imprisoned and I don’t think that Russia cares enough about world opinion to be counted upon for leniency.

I don’t know what the solution is. Part of me want’s to say “Stand proud and let your rainbow flag fly high!” but another, more cautious part of me wants to tell all the people associated with the LGBTQ community to stay home and stay safe because sometimes when you walk into the lion’s den you slay the beast, but sometimes you get mauled to death.

Then there is this whole business of the dumping of the Russian vodka in the streets. While I understand the need to make some kind of protest, I’m not sure that there is anything that the makers of Stolichnaya Vodka can do anything to change government policies they have publicly stated they despise. From what I can see, Stoli has long been associated with the LGBTQ community and they seem to be very proud of it. And the fact that they have made a statement against their government at all is something I consider to be very brave, all things being considered.

So, what can we do, those of us who support equality for everyone? Make your feelings known in the way you feel is right for you and show your support the best way you know how. Contact your government or the Olympic committee and tell them how you feel. Use social media to your advantage as I am. It’s a great way for the average person to get their message out there.

A little personal story for you. I had to go to the chiropractor last week and we were half-way through my treatment when he suddenly asks me “what’s with all the rainbows?” I regularly wear a Pride bracelet and a little rainbow pin that a friend in England sent me and I love when they make people ask questions.

So, I told him that I was a big supporter of equal rights and that I wrote gay romance novels. He looked at me for a second and said “but you’re not gay, are you?” He knows my husband. I told him no and that the books I wrote were actually m/m not f/f. He stopped and looked at me in shock and says “Really….REALLY? Wow, how does that work?” I burst out laughing and we spent the next 20 minutes in a discussion about equal rights and my association with the LGBTQ community. He told me that he never would have guessed that I was so “badassed” His words, not mine, but it did make me giggle.

I do so love an opportunity to have a spirited discussion on a subject that is so dear to me and if I get the chance to educate someone while doing it? All the better.

Okay, the fic rec. Love, Like Water by Rowan Speedwell is a wonderful story about a man who is so broken by his circumstances that he is certain that he can’t ever be fixed. When Joshua Chastain’s mom suggests spending some time at his Uncle’s farm where he loved to be as a child, he goes just to make things easier for her. There he meets Eli Kelly, a man who just might be up to the task of helping Joshua heal his broken spirit. This story made me cry and broke my heart as I watched Joshua’s spiral into hopelessness before he finally finds his way to break free of it with Eli’s help.

Here’s the Dreamspinner link: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3970

And here is the Amazon link. http://www.amazon.com/Love-Like-Water-ebook/dp/B00DUQ5ABK/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1375797059&sr=1-1&keywords=love+like+water

And as always, here’s me! http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=454 and at Amazon! http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=Cindy%20Sutherland&search-alias=digital-text&sort=relevancerank

Burnt out Wednesday Thursday…and who am I reccing today?

You know, some days I have a really hard time figuring out what to write about here. I want to be interesting and relevant. I want to make you laugh or make you cry or make you so pissed off you want to punch something…or someone.

But mostly I’m just kind of boring and ordinary. I run my dayhome during the week with some admittedly hilarious little boys and on the weekends I work at a drug store. I live in a small town and I love it most of the time. I like being at the store and seeing the same people coming in. You get to know your regulars and I like the fact that when I greet them by name and tease them, they have a tendency to light up and smile.

We get a lot of senior citizens coming through. There is an assisted living building just down the street from the store and they like that they can walk up on their own and spend some time around people. I’ve seen some folks spend hours walking around the store, stopping to talk to people they know and it makes me smile to be a part of it.

But sometimes I miss living in the city. I don’t drive at all and trust me, there’s a good reason for that. It’s bad enough that I would be taking my own life into my hands but the thought that I could hurt others by doing someone stupid behind the wheel paralyzes me with fear. In the city, though, I could hop on a bus and get where I needed to go on my own. I hate having to ask for rides to do things that need to be done but I don’t have a choice.

I miss being able to go to the movies without help or attend an art or music festival. I miss being able to walk down White Ave, a street that contains a bunch of eclectic shops and interesting restaurants. In August they have a theater festival there called the Fringe and I used to love to walk around and see the different booths that were set up and the “interesting” people who walked around. You could see anyone from Goths sweating it out in all black to executives in suits to families with three kids walking side by side, smiling and chatting with each other in the celebratory atmosphere.

In downtown Edmonton in July you get the Street Performers Festival and the Taste of Edmonton. And of course, there’s K-Days going on now, a week-long exhibition of music, games, rides and cultural events.

Not being able to just hop on a bus and get to where I want to go is frustrating, and some days I wonder if the safety and security of my small town is worth everything I had to give up.

Mostly it is. My daughter is starting grade 7 with the same kids she went to preschool with and she’s never had to deal with being “the new kid” like I did pretty much every year I went to school until I started high school. I can let her get on her bike and ride to the park or go to the pool by herself without worrying too much. I’d never be able to do that in the city.

I like going to the grocery store or the local diner and being greeted by people I know. Walking into the pizza place, I usually see at least one teenager who I’ve known since they were small because they were friends with my nieces or nephew who also grew up here.

I know my neighbor on both sides and I’m at least on nodding basis with most of the people on my street. The neighbor across the alley is the local hero because he likes to play with his snow blower in the winter and usually does the sidewalk all around the block. He’s also made friends with my husband and so usually does our driveway as well.

So, yeah, I’m kind of torn about where I live. I guess the upside is that the city is only 20 minutes away and if I really need to get there for something, someone will give me a ride. My whole family lives here and so I’m kind of lucky that way.

However, I sometimes worry that my writing career could negatively impact my daughter because I live in such a small town. I’ve been lucky so far. Everyone I’ve told about my m/m romance stories has been pretty positive although some are kind of confused. I don’t hide what I do and I proudly display my own name on my books. I know there are very good reasons that a lot of people use pen-names but I wanted to be able to show people my books and say “SEE!!! That really is me!”

But gossip in small towns runs rampant and I know that sooner or later I’m going to meet “that” person. The one who thinks I’m disgusting and a horrible pervert for writing about two men in love. I really don’t care for my own sake. Those people can kiss my ass for all I care, but I do worry for my girl. She’s a lot like me. She is passionate and independent and sometimes a big pain in the ass. But she also has a huge heart and when people are cruel to her, it hits her hard.

I know that the first person who makes her feel bad because they think her mom is a freak is going to break her heart…and knowing her, she might break their nose. And I’d be proud while I was scolding her and explaining it to the police. (one of whom lives down the street from me).

My family is very supportive of me, even though they don’t understand why I do it and why things like the equal rights movement is so important to me. It’s not like they are against anything I believe in, but like most people, it’s not personal for them so they don’t really think about it.

My mom is my biggest supporter. She’s convinced I’m going to be the Danielle Steele of gay romance novels, just like she was convinced when I was younger that I was going to be the next Tammy Wynette or Barbara Mandrell (if you don’t know who they are, Google them. The all-time queens of country music). Her faith is unshakable and I love her for it. I only wish I had as much faith in myself…and I’d settle for being Andrew Grey or Mary Calmes (you can Google them too).

Okay, so once again I’ve rambled on way too long, but I’m claiming editing fatigue. The latest WIP is no longer a WIP and has been edited within an inch of its life and sent off to the publisher for consideration. Excuse me while I’m hyperventilating because this waiting stuff never gets easier. I know rationally that I will probably have at least one manuscript rejected by my publisher at sometime…and I know it’s going to knock my world off it’s axis when it does. Every writer feels that way. We put so much of ourselves into what we put down on the page that our story being rejected feels like I’m being told that Cindy Sutherland as a person isn’t good enough. It’s like someone telling me that my child is ugly.

Okay, so for my fic rec. I’ve recommended Mary Calmes as a writer but I specifically want to mention this story. Frog is about Weber Yates, a broken-down rodeo cowboy…at least that’s how he sees himself. In reality he is kind and understanding. He just naturally takes care of what needs taking care of…except himself of course. When he goes to see his sometimes lover, Cyrus Benning, he finds himself in the middle of a family crisis and gets caught up in down what’s right. He slowly comes to realize that the things he thought were important about himself are not the amazing things other see. All I’m going to say is that we could all use a Weber Yates in our lives.

Get it here at Dreamspinner: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=2892

And here at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Frog-ebook/dp/B007XAFECY/ref=sr_1_15?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1374775550&sr=1-15

And of course, you can already check out my stuff at both places. http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=454

Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=Cindy%20Sutherland&search-alias=digital-text&sort=relevancerank

One final note. As I’m writing this, I have on MuchMoreMusic, one of the Canadian music video channels. Macklemore’s Same Love just came on and it’s sitting at number 14 and climbing. It makes me smile. Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0

Some rambling Tuesday thoughts with the usual fic rec.

Someone kick me in the ass and make me finishing editing my story for submission. I’m not sure why I’m having such a hard time with this one. It’s not because I think it’s bad. I love it and think it’s one of my best…and maybe that’s the problem. When you submit something there is always the chance that the publisher will say no.

In fact, I always assume they will say no and every acceptance has me floored. It’s the whole “hope for the best but assume the worst” way of thinking that I use to fool myself into believing that if they do say no, I won’t keel over and die of a broke heart. I am really good at self-delusion.

I’m one chapter away from finishing my Nuke Bigbang story and as it’s due Saturday, that’s a good thing. My last two BB stories were published but this one isn’t going that way. It’s nothing but pure fanfiction that I love writing for its own sake. I have a sinking feeling that it might be the last Nuke BB so I wanted to send it out in style.

I quickly want to express my sadness over the death of Cory Monteith. I loved his voice and his sweetness seemed to be a genuine thing. Another young artist who found fame and addiction to be a deadly combination. I thoughts are with his family and friends. Glee will certainly have a different landscape this upcoming season.

I also wanted to express my disbelief over the whole George Zimmerman trial but as every time I think about it I start to growl and wanna punch someone in the face, I will leave it alone.

As for ideas for my next novel, I have a few thoughts but I’m unsure where to go with them. I’ve been getting off to a fantastic start a lot these days only to fizzle out after the first chapter. I’m finding it very frustrating.

So the summer is almost half over and don’t tell anyone, but I can’t wait for fall. It’s my favorite time of year. Especially after the first frost…when the bugs are gone. I am suffering from an ant problem that is starting to drive me batty and yes…I have tried every home remedy and store-bought solution there is. I’m looking at hiring a professional once my royalty check comes in. I don’t want an exterminator I want an ant TERMINATOR!

At this point I’d rather be dealing with a mosquito invasion and for those of you who know me, you understand how big of a statement that is for me. But at least the mosquitos stay where they are meant to be…outside!

Now, about that fic rec.

Lace by Jaime Samms is the story of Caleb, a young man on a journey to find himself with the help of his boyfriend Levi. It takes patience from the people he loves and meeting a kindred spirit to make Caleb realize that it’s okay to let people in and to show who you really are. It’s one of those stories that makes you want to smack the main character as often as you want to hug and protect him.

Available here at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Lace-ebook/dp/B00AHFHYUW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373984800&sr=8-1&keywords=Lace+Jaime+Samms

Of course, my stuff is available here: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=Cindy%20Sutherland&search-alias=digital-text&sort=relevancerank

And here, at my wonderful publisher: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=454

They are having a 30% off sale today, so check it out before its over!

Monday after the weekend before….with a fic rec

So, this weekend we celebrated my dad’s 65th birthday. It was wonderful. I spent the day running around, helping my mom and brother and sister organize barbecued hamburgers and hot dogs with all the sides….for 85 people.

It’s always a curious mix at these functions. Family, old family friends and some of the new friends my parents have made while spending every summer camped out in their trailer at the local campground.

I love getting to see family that I haven’t seen in way too long. It always takes a bit for everyone to feel comfortable with each other, but once the awkwardness wears off, it’s so much fun.

Several people asked about my writing and of course, that always makes me smile and one wonderful cousin made sure to tell me how much she enjoys my blog. I really need to update it more often.

It’s kind of funny though. Every time I post my blog to my FB page, I worry a little about what my family might think of what it is I write about. I know that not everyone is comfortable with the fact that I write gay romance novels and I keep waiting for that one person who starts in on a homophobic rant at me.

I honestly don’t know what I’ll do when it happens, but I hope my first reaction is to get mad instead of running away. I’m not good at confrontation and try to avoid it when possible.

I have been pleasantly surprised though. Some of the people I was concerned about have had nothing but positive reactions and it makes me so happy that these people really are as wonderful as I have always believed them to be.

Of course, there was one cousin who felt the need to inform me that I should be proud of his self-restraint for not commenting negative things on all the “gay shit” on my FB. He said “I would make you look bad.” I looked at him and said “You would make YOU look bad, not me. The people I know and love would know that your comments were a reflection on you, not me.”

He dropped it after that. His attitude didn’t surprise me. I’ve known him for over thirty years now and know his ideas and attitudes. He’s mostly a good man and I love him dearly, but he’s not perfect. I was a little disappointed though.

One the bright side, I had a couple of people ask me to explain about the DOMA and Prop 8 rulings from the Supreme Court in the US to them and I enjoyed telling them about it. One person chuckled and said “this is really important to you, isn’t it? You’re certainly enthusiastic about it.”

Anyway, the day went beautifully, except for the part where I had to make a little speech and started crying 4 words into it. I can stand and sing in front of 500 strangers, but stand me in front of a group of friends and family and ask me to say a few words and I’m a blubbering mess. Crazy, isn’t it?

I remember when I was a kid and we’d have a family get together and I’d look around thinking that I had such a huge family and that I always would. Of course, now I know better. So many people are gone now and so many others have responsibilities that keep them away from these parties. I’ve learned to appreciate the time I do get to spend with these people because we never know how much time we have them for.

For my dad, this was the best present we could have given him. Being surrounded by family and friends means more to him than any gift that money could buy. He has a habit at holidays and big family functions of sitting down at the table to eat and then looking around at everyone. His eyes will get all teary and he’ll say “I wonder what the poor people are doing?” It never fails to bring tears to the eyes of all us kids. Things weren’t always this good for us and sometimes things were pretty harsh, but at that moment, for him, he was the richest man in the world because he had a good meal to eat with the people most important to him.

When mom turns 65, I think we will just have a small family only dinner and us kids can take turns taking her to the casino. She doesn’t like being the center of attention and we have been threatened with bodily harm if we try something like this for her. Trust me, we will heed her wishes.

Of course, that was just Saturday. Sunday was spent with just us…mom and dad, my sister and brother and their families and us. And one Aunt and Uncle with whom we didn’t get to spend enough time. It’s what we usually do after big gatherings we host. Get together, have leftovers for dinner and decompress. It’s always a good way to relax.

That was my weekend…cleaning, cooking and having a good time with people who matter to me. All in all, there’s worst ways to spend a couple of days.

And now on to my fic rec.

I’m going to rec a series today. The Shifter series by M.D. Grimm is a wonderful example of supernatural stories done right. All her characters are engaging and the hero’s are so lovable…even when they have to do not so nice things. I haven’t read the latest in the series but you can bet I will. If you want to get lost in another world for a while, give The Shifters a chance. Here’s the link on Dreamspinner: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=579

and here’s the link the M.D. Grimm on Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=M.D.%20Grimm&search-alias=digital-text&sort=relevancerank

Of course, while you’re there, you can check out my stories at Dreamspinner as well. http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=55_454

Baby it’s hot outside! And a fic rec…of course.

So, it’s gonna be a hot one out there today. Seems like a good day to write and I will, later…while hiding in my basement.

But first I’m going to ramble a little.

So, June was Pride month and I learn some things. First, I learned why June is Pride month, at least in North America. I looked it up and learned about some of the horrible things that led up to the Stonewall riots that took place on June 28th, 1969.

I also read about the Upstairs Fire, a horrible act of arson and murder that killed 32 people at a gay club in New Orleans in 1973. You can read about it here yourself but be warned, the picture that accompanies the article will haunt you. The article calls it a massacre and I completely agree. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/06/24/1218532/-Remembering-LGBT-History-The-New-Orleans-UpStairs-Fire-the-Largest-Gay-Massacre-in-U-S-History

I don’t know enough about LGBT issues and I admit that. As someone who writes gay romance novels, I sort of feel like it’s my responsibility to know as much about the people I write about as I can. That means the good and the bad and I’m really trying.

The good things that last month brought? I attended my first Pride celebration and fully intend to make it an annual event.

And I watched with breathless anticipation as the Supreme Court of the United States brought down two rulings that offered hope to millions of people who want nothing more than to be treated just like everyone else.

I was in tears as I watched the people standing on the steps of that courthouse when they read the first ruling striking down DOMA. Happiness warred with disbelief in so many faces, like they were afraid to believe it was really true. I saw pictures of Edie Windsor and she looked elated…but I bet in her heart she was wishing her beloved Thea Spyer could have witness that day.

Then the Prop 8 ruling came down and it was amazing. I would like to know how many marriage proposals those words prompted.

So yes, June was a big month and there was so much to be happy about…but there is still a long way to go.

There are still mountains to climb and oceans to cross. As my friend Ryan pointed out, those rulings were wonderful, but in the state he lives in, it doesn’t mean much. He still can’t get married where he lives and there are so many other states were the LGTB community is in the same boat. So enjoy your victories because you deserve it. You are all fighting so hard every day and you need to take the time to rejoice in the good so that you can find the strength to keep on going. But unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of time to rest.

I’m going to do what I can. I will keep promoting and donating. I’ll continue to talk about the issues with anyone who will listen (and even those who don’t want to listen). And I will celebrate with everyone in the LGTB community every time there is another victory.

And then there will be days that I’ll be sad and feel slightly guilty because all those things you’re fighting for come to me without a thought because I am a straight woman and I know it isn’t fair in the least.

I know, I know…life isn’t fair. In fact, a lot of the time it sucks. People who deserve so much more are constantly denied it and those who have way too much don’t appreciate it enough. I know it’s the way things are but I don’t have to like it.

My mom always told me I was too idealistic.

I keep seeing this quote all over my FB. “Gay Pride was not born out of a need to celebrate being gay, but instead our right to exist without prosecution. So instead of wondering why there isn’t a Straight Pride month or movement, straight people should be thankful they don’t need one.”

I am thankful. I can’t even begin to imagine how awful it much be to feel like I’m not welcome to be a member of the society I live in.

But as you look around my dear friends, I hope you see all the people who are there for you. People like me, a middle-aged straight woman from Canada that believes that everyone should be treated with equality and dignity and respect. (you can thank my parents for that) I see you all and acknowledge what you’ve been through and hope you know I stand beside you, humble and thankful that I can do what little bit I’m able to make things better for you.

I also live for the day that Gay Pride becomes something else. I would like to see it become Human Pride because at that time, we all stand as equals in every way.

That would be something to have Pride in.

Okay, enough of my rambling. How about something to read?

I recommend Purpose by Andrew Q Gordon. It’s a little different, kind of on the supernatural/sci-fi scale but I love the evolution of both main characters as they sort of meet in the middle and figure out how to live and love with each other. Ryan makes Will more human while Will makes Ryan stronger. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Find it here: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3902

And here: http://www.amazon.com/Purpose-ebook/dp/B00DIRNV2Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372779878&sr=8-1&keywords=Purpose+Andrew+Q+Gordon

Too long since I posted, I know. I’ve been writing…honest! And a fic rec…

So, I’ve been a bad blogger and neglected you all and I’m sorry. I see some changes have been made since I’ve been here last so I’m back to feeling my way around. Of course, in certain situations, that can be fun…

I did manage to finish my WIP and I have to say, it’s a relief to finish something. I have been a great starter the last few months but getting something finished has been tough.

Now the editing starts. I go back to the beginning and probably re-write a bunch and I still won’t be happy with it. If I didn’t submit until I was happy, I’d still be unpublished.

I’ll admit, I’m worried about submitting this one. It’s sort of stuck between genres and I’m afraid that it’s not enough of one or the other to keep people’s interest. I almost abandoned it a couple of times but like the premise too much to give up.

I might post an excerpt in a few months…I will see how it goes.

Now I have a fandom writing challenge to get finished for next month and three other fandom stories that are waiting in the wings. But I also have some ideas for something original and I think I will work on that too.

I still love writing, despite the fact that it’s not going where I would like it to go yet. I know I’m still a newbie at this and that I have to pay my dues and all that. In my head I know that it takes time to get ahead and that for most people, there is no overnight success…or success ever. But my heard hasn’t gotten the memo and keeps hoping my writing career takes off like a shot. My head laughs at my heart frequently, lol.

A recent first-time-published friend of mine is trying to figure out how much time he needs to put into promoting himself and asked my opinion. I told him I wished I knew. All the time I spend promoting myself is time I don’t spend writing and with two jobs, free time is hard to come by. But I think it’s worth it. I love coming here and seeing what people have to say and I love that my stats tell me where people are checking in from.

I also love telling others about the stories I have read. You can be assured that if I’m telling you about it, the story has captured my whole heart and I couldn’t put it down once I started it. So, without further ado, here’s the rec.

Amy Lane’s Racing for the Sun isn’t always the most comfortable story to read, but it is amazing. Sonny Daye is broken and thinks of himself as beyond repair, but Ace sees something beautiful when he looks at him. They save each other more than once and it takes them a long while to figure out that they both want the same thing out of life. Ace it loving and protective and willing to do anything to make Sonny understand that he is the only thing that Ace needs to get through life. Sonny is desperate and scared but shows just how brave he is by putting his heart in Ace’s capable hands. Amy takes you on a wild ride that ends up in the best place possible. I hope you love it as much as I did. http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3782&cPath=55_186

My First Pride…

So, I went to my first Pride celebration on Saturday and I have to say…I loved every second.

I loved the atmosphere…everyone was in a good mood, people I’d never met walking up and asking if I was having a good time. If something needed to be done, people rushed from everywhere to help. And it was wonderful to be amongst a group of people who were happy to be allowed to be themselves without having to worry what others thought, at least for a while.

I hope someday it’s like that all the time.

As I walked around, I was enchanted by the costumes and awed by the drag queens. How they were able to walk the parade route in 6 inch heels and in full drag is beyond me. They have my admiration for their determination and their willingness to suffer for the chance to show their Pride. I could have hugged every one of them.

I think having to go alone was probably a good thing for my first time. I got to concentrate on what was going on around me and I could feel free to talk to the people manning the information booths without having to worry that I was neglecting my companion.

One of the reasons I went was to see if it would be worth it to set up a booth to promote not only my books, but all the books that my Dreamspinner puts out. A lot of people seemed interested and that made me happy. One of the most popular topics I covered with people was Dreamspinner’s “Harmony Ink Press”. The people I talked to loved the idea of books that were geared toward teens and young adults, giving them somewhere to look for stories they could better relate to.

I will have to look into what it would cost but I think it might be worthwhile.

And the booths that I visited were wonderful. There was so much information that a person could have over-loaded if they weren’t careful. You could get information on HIV and that was next to a booth promoting Camp Firefly. Camp Firefly is a summer camp for LGBT youths and I think it’s an amazing idea. There was a booth for ARGRA, the Alberta Rockies Gay Rodeo Association, and one recruiting people to join the police force.

And there was more rainbow merchandise than I could ever have imagined, including one selling “anatomical” themed candy. That was a popular booth.

But my favorite thing about Pride was all the smiles. Everyone was so happy to be there and it felt like everyone was part of one big family. It was a humbling experience and I can’t wait to go next year. My daughter really wants to come with me and I think I will take her. It would be fun to share it with her.

It was also a very inspirational experience for me and I can see myself incorporating a Pride celebration into a story in the near future.

And now for a fic rec. “A Purrfect Match” by Chris T. Kat is a wonderful shifter story that shows how love can change your heart and your life. I fell in love with Jim and Andrew and Chris’s portrayal of Tony, a little boy who proves how accepting children can be, will steal your heart. Check out “A Purrfect Match” and all of Chris T. Kat’s other amazing stories at Dreamspinner, it’s a story that’s sure to leave you with a smile.

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3437&cPath=55_605

A little remembering…and a fic rec.

The story I’m reccing is called “Let’s Hear it for the Boy” by T.A. Webb. It tells the story of Auntie Social, a drag queen who has made raising money for HIV and AIDS research her top priority in life. It’s a free download on Amazon right now and it’s most definitely worth the read. Check it out here: http://www.amazon.com/Lets-Hear-Boy-ebook/dp/B00BXVLPJA/ref=sr_1_6?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1369677475&sr=1-6&keywords=ta+webb

After reading it, I did a lot of thinking. The story takes us back to the early 80′s when HIV and AIDS was discovered and the absolutely terrifying backlash the LGBT community faced. Gay cancer was one of the nicer things it was called and so many people were convinced that God had called it down upon the Sodomites to wipe them from existence.

It’s ridiculous of course. AIDS is just a disease…a horrible, terrible disease…but God really had nothing to do with it. Anyone can get it and no one is immune. Great strides have been taken and there’s hope on the horizon, I think, but it’s going to plague humanity for a long time.

One of the things that struck me after reading the story was that the whole awful situation back then was made so much worse by the fact that the gay community was mostly still forced into hiding. It occurred to me that so many of the lives that this disease has taken might have been saved if only people hadn’t been so afraid.

The governments who were afraid to admit that this was a problem that affected more than just the gay community. The men and women who were infected and died alone because they were afraid to tell their friends and loved ones what had happened to them. The members of the gay community who unwittingly made things worse with the lifestyle they were forced to live because they were so afraid of how they would be treated that they hid away in bathhouses and the back rooms of clubs.

And that’s what this post is about. The people we’ve lost. When I think of all the people who might have done something amazing if only they’d not had the chance snatched away from them it makes my head spin. They died before ever being given the chance to reach their full potential and the immense scope of that loss weighs me down sometimes.

The loss of those a little more ordinary is crushing as well. Mothers and fathers whose children never got to know them or who never got to be born. Or worse, moms and dads who no longer have children to parent. Friends whose deaths left gaping holes in the people who loved them and counted on them to make their lives better.

This was an epidemic born out of fear that has grown to a global pandemic and I wonder how many have died or will die that could have been saved with a little open-minded thinking and some courage on the part of the world’s leaders.

I remember the first time I saw the movie “And the Band Played On” in 1993. I was 24 years old and I remember being horrified by the stupidity of so many people involved. The meaning of the name of the movie escaped me until I watched it again recently.

I could be wrong but the first thing I think of when I hear the movie title is the sinking of the Titanic. The tragedy of the Titanic and the lives lost were the result of sheer arrogance. The people in charge were so sure that they were right, they didn’t bother to take the most basic of precautions. And as the ship sank, the band played on because there was nothing else they could do to save themselves.

And so it went. The government denied there was a problem and so refused to issue any warnings or take any precautions. So the disease spread and more people died.

This is one of those things that almost overwhelms me with feelings and I have so much to say, but can’t seem to find the words to express myself in the way that I want. The thrum of anger and sadness and frustration runs under my skin when I allow myself to think about it too much.

I don’t know anyone who is HIV positive. At least, not that I’m aware of. It’s another one of those issues that’s personal for me because it should be seen as personal for everyone. It can happen to anyone.

One in five people who are HIV positive are unaware they are infected.

Every 9.5 minutes someone in the US is infected.

More than one million people in the US are HIV positive.

50,000 people are infected every year.

Since 1981 619,000 people have died in the US alone as a result of contracting HIV. The loss of life is staggering.

27% of new infections in 2009 were from heterosexual contact.

61% of new infections in 2009 were in MSM (men who have sex with men)

Injection drug user’s made up the rest of the new infections in 2009.

Sobering statistics indeed from http://www.aids.gov/.

I think somewhere along the way people fell under the impression that the crisis is over. We became complacent and because of that, it somehow seem less important to find ways to educate people so that we could stop the spread of this killer.

It’s still so important. As long as people are dying from HIV related infections, we are losing something that can’t be replaced.

Somewhere along the way, the focus of this post changed direction a little for me. I started writing about fear, but now I want to talk about hope.

Most importantly, keep yourself safe…always. You are the only one who can every single time.

If you need help, look for it. I know that’s easier said than done, but please don’t let fear kill you.

Do what you can to help others. Support HIV initiatives, get involved in fundraising and awareness campaigns. Let people know that this issue hadn’t gone away or gotten better.

In Canada, go here to offer your support and to educate yourself. http://www.cdnaids.ca/welcome

So, this is my Monday Rant. I’m trying to spend less time focusing on making things better for me and spend more time focusing on making things better for others. I have a feeling that it will help me more in the long run.

Reader to writer…a long road. with bonus giveaway!

So, I promised a giveaway today and I’ll get to that, but first I have to ramble a bit.

A lot of people who talk to writers want to ask the same questions. Where do you get your ideas? What’s the hardest part about writing? And of course, how did you get to be a writer?

That’s a good question actually. Not sure my answer makes any sense but here it goes.

As I’ve stated on here before, I was a reader long before I was a writer. I read books like a starving person attacks a free buffet. I love books. They’ve taken me to more places than I will ever get to in real life. I will probably never leave North America, but in my head I’ve already travelled the world.

Some friends and I were talking about the reasons we read the kind of stories we do and for me it’s all about an escape. I love getting lost in a story and being transported to another world. The places I visit aren’t always good and sometimes they’re downright scary but it’s all a part of the adventure.

I didn’t always want to be a writer. I was happy to read, and in fact when I was younger I would have considered writing as one of those things that got in the way of more reading time.

I’d go through bouts of reading romance novels, the trashier the better, and then move on to something historical. I’d read Beatrice Small and then steal my dad’s Bernard Cornwell book. I’d read Clive Cussler and fall in love with Louisa May Alcott.

I adore Dean Koontz and I fell in love with Stephen King twice in my life. The first time when in my early teens, when it was all about having the crap scared out of me. The second time was in my mid-twenties when I discovered that so many of his books were connected to each other. I went back and re-read ever story in a matter of months, looking for those connections and it added a new element of excitement for me.

As a teen, I wrote poetry, but never with any kind of concentration or intent. In my early twenties I started to get the urge to try getting some of the thoughts in my head down on paper. It never went anywhere though. I couldn’t seem to organize all the ideas running through my brain into anything with any sort of order.

It wasn’t until I was forty that I found a way to finally put words into sentences and have them make sense. It started out of pure frustration with a show I loved. The characters were amazing but the writing sucked and all I could think about what “I could do better than that.”

All my first stories are short little missing moments from the show or alternate scenes describing how I thought it should go.

But then I started getting ideas about completely different directions my characters could go and I started putting those down as well.

My first novella, Cowboy Way, was only supposed to be a few chapters and somehow ended up being 26. Once I got started, I found that the characters started to take themselves to new places and I was sort of just along for the ride.

So the “writer” part of my life was born, but I’m still a reader. My reading material is a little different now. Mary Calmes and C. Cardeno top my list of favorite authors, but of course, anything can (and usually does) catch my attention. I can find myself half way through a novel when all I intended was a quick look at the first couple of pages. Doesn’t take much and I’m completely gone for hours.

I hope there’s someone out there who feels the same way about my stories.

So, speaking of my stories, here’s the promised giveaway. Take a look at my stories on Dreamspinner and then comment below with the one you’d like to win. I’ll choose the winner Saturday morning.

Here is the link to my stories at Dreamspinner Press. http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=55_454