Jeff Goins's Blog, page 65
August 5, 2014
The Secret to Having a Marriage That Never Goes Stale
After a recent life-changing trip to Italy, I called my best friend to — well, let’s just be honest, I called to brag.
Photo Credit: antonychammond via Compfight cc
We had traveled together during college, and I wanted to relive some of those memories with him, while sharing my latest experiences in Europe. After finishing telling him about the trip, he said the saddest thing I had heard in a long time.
“That sounds awesome,” he sighed. “I’d love to do something like that… in ten years.”
“What?!” I said. “Ten years? Dude, are you kidding me?”
He went on to say a trip like that just wasn’t realistic. Not for him. Not now. It wasn’t financially feasible and not something he and his wife had time for.
What’s more, they were expecting their second child and were spending most of their energy preparing for that transition. I asked him when was the last time they had gone a vacation, just the two of them.
“Oh, I dunno… probably a few years.”
A few years?!
I had had enough.
“Do you remember what you told me right before I got married?”
Months before I got married, my friend gave me some important advice, something he had heard from a premarital counselor, I think.
They were seven sage words that I will never forget—the secret, I’ve found, to a happy marriage:
Always have something to look forward to
That’s it. That’s the secret. It sounds so simple and yet it can be the hardest part of a lifelong commitment. Here are two reasons why it works.
First, it breaks the monotony.
Marriage begins with excitement, but as with any emotional high, it has its boring moments. Times when you wake up next to the love of your life and the morning breath gets the best of you.
You may have vowed to experience the adventure of life together, but don’t be surprised when your story has a little taste of the mundane. That’s called life. However, this commitment can easily turn into begrudged obligation if you don’t have something disrupt the ordinary ongoings of matrimony.
Second, it gives you and your spouse a common goal.
When you have something that requires both of you to plan, you remember this is a partnership—something you agreed to do together.
And when you might otherwise be distracted by your own weekly activities and forget to spend quality time together, this shared project can unite you.
It’s something to talk about over dinner, something to text each other about in the middle of the day. A common goal, something to anticipate, can bring you together in ways that the daily grind won’t.
So what should you look forward to?
Always have a common goal
It could be anything, really: a vacation, home improvement project, even an upcoming move. As long as it’s something you both enjoy doing, it qualifies and should do the trick of breaking up the monotony and bringing you two together.
That’s why I had to remind my friend of the best advice he’d given me, advice I had taken to heart since marrying my wife six years before. And it has saved my marriage a few times.
A few months afterwards, not altogether surprisingly, my friend called me. He wanted to tell me about a recent trip he and his wife took to an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic.
Man, thanks for talking me into that. I’ve never seen my wife so relaxed. It was just what we needed before starting a new job and having baby number two.
My friend thanked me, but really I needed to thank him.
We all need little things to look forward to in life — small interruptions to our normal flow. Not because we have to escape from our lives, but so we can appreciate them.
Because without the gift of looking forward, even the most wonderful relationships can grow stale.
My friend Tyler Ward, author of Marriage Rebranded, recently asked 25 leaders for their single-best marriage advice. The level of insight and wisdom he received, compiled in a free eBook called Marriage Hacks, is guaranteed to help many navigate their own marriages. I was honored to share the above in the book. Click here to download the free eBook.
What are you looking forward to? Share in the comments.
July 30, 2014
015: Turning Obstacles into Opportunities: Counterintuitive Advice from Author Ryan Holiday [Podcast]
You know the feeling. You’ve just created something special, and you’re afraid to launch it out into the world.
What if no one cares? What if no one reads my blog post? What if no one buys my book?
Photo credit: John Lodder via cc
Ryan Holiday has been there.
Ryan always wanted to be a writer. But early on, he realized it wasn’t enough to just write well about a great idea. He knew he needed to understand how to present that message first to a publisher and then to an audience.
In this episode of the podcast, Ryan shares how he used what he didn’t know as an opportunity to grow.
Click to listen
To listen to the show, click the player below (if viewing this in email click here).
You can also download it at iTunes or on Stitcher.
The lost art of apprenticeship
Most of us think that to be a writer, we need to study writing. We imagine (or dread) going back to school to get an advanced degree in literature or storytelling. But Ryan Holiday chose another path.
He realized that he could learn a lot more about writing and marketing books by studying at the feet of the people doing exactly what he wanted to learn.
So Ryan packed up his pride and started reaching out. He met an author working on a book, and he saw an opportunity. Ryan loved to research, so he offered his help for free. He agreed to do whatever the author needed in return for the opportunity to learn.
He created an apprenticeship for himself.
Lessons learned
As Ryan worked with more and more successful people, including Tim Ferriss and Robert Greene, he began to study their approach to obstacles. Rarely did they get tripped up by impediments in their path. Instead, they invariably turned those barriers into opportunities.
We can do this, too. Every day, each of us faces the difference between how we want things to be and how they really are. What makes us succeed or fail is how we respond to those differences. (Tweet that)
After years of learning, Ryan offers the following advice:
Worried that no one will care about what you’re writing? Know your audience. Write the book that they want to read and they will buy it.
Afraid that your work isn’t worth what you’re charging? Be generous. Bundle content and offer great bonuses.
Scared that your message will get lost in the crowded Internet? Experiment with new things. Do what no one else is doing yet.
Are you struggling?
If you’re one of those people who struggles to reach your goals — if you feel like no one will read your blog or buy your book or fund your startup — then you might find some ideas to try. The suggestions might be counterintuitive, and they might take some effort, but I encourage you to pick up Ryan’s book The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph and try something different. You can get it here from Amazon, or get it free when you sign up for Audible, the audiobook resource I use (note: those are affiliate links).
As for me, I’m still finding ways to grow and learn, too. Ryan suggests that we go where there’s the least competition and be a pioneer.
That’s what I’m trying to do with this podcast. If you’re enjoying it, I’d love for you to leave an honest review, tweet about it, or share it with your friends on Facebook.
You can also subscribe by copying and pasting this URL into the podcast player of your choice: http://feeds.feedburner.com/ThePortfo...
What is standing in the way of your success? How could you turn that into an opportunity? Share in the comments below.
July 25, 2014
A Six-Part Framework for Writing Better Sales Copy
If you want to sell more of your products and services, or even simply sell more people on your ideas, you must learn the basics of the art of copywriting.
Photo Credit: ingirogiro via Compfight cc
But what is copywriting, really? One of my favorite definitions was given by a man named John E. Kennedy, back in 1904. Kennedy defined advertising (and copywriting) as: “salesmanship in print.”
If you can write effective sales copy, you can literally write your own paycheck. There really should be no such thing as a “broke copywriter”. By definition, good copywriters can create money out of thin air. So why does copy so often fail?
Copywriting fails when you ignore the principles
There are universal psychological triggers that help you sell more effectively. The problem is, the field of copywriting is strewn with misleading, manipulative, and even in some cases malicious techniques.
You can hardly “swing a cat” without hitting a copywriter who has a “formula” for writing copy. Most of these formulas are actually quite good. Many however, are based on tricks of manipulation and psychology that are more than a bit morally wonky.
The framework I’m going to share with you today, though, is intentionally based on universal principles that are focused on doing good, and helping people make decisions that are in their own best interest.
To sell more, P.A.S.T.O.R. your customers
Most people associate the term “pastor” with the preacher at church. While this is certainly true in most cases, the original meaning of the word “pastor” was actually “to shepherd.” And what does the shepherd do? He or she cares for, feeds, and protects the flock.
Now, before we go any further, I should address the habit that some marketers have of referring to their customers as their “herd.” It seems to paint an unflattering picture.
This kind of imagery is not what I am invoking here. The actual role of a shepherd is a loving, caring, and protective one. In fact, Jesus, who called himself the “good Shepherd” actually laid down his life for his flock.
I am not suggesting any religious overtones for your copy: what I am suggesting is that you adopt the same loving, caring, and protective role as you write copy for your prospects and customers.
And, as you might’ve guessed, P.A.S.T.O.R. is also an acronym for the major sections of your copy. Here is the explanation:
“P” is for PROBLEM
You must begin by identifying the problem that you are solving. The simplest, most effective way to do this is to describe the problem in great detail.
It’s a psychological principle: the more accurately you can describe your reader’s problem in terms they relate to, the more they instinctively feel that you must have an answer to that problem. Use the reader’s own language, the very words and phrases they use to describe the problem they want to solve.
For instance, if you are writing about fitness and weight loss, you might begin by describing their current situation this way:
You’ve tried every fad diet that’s come along. You’ve started and stopped a dozen different exercise programs, perhaps joined several different gyms, but the truth is you just can’t seem to take the weight off (or keep it off.) Perhaps you’re even feeling a little disgusted with yourself and your inability to control your eating and your weight. You feel like no matter what you try, it’s not going to work.
Remember, you’re not judging their behavior, rather you are describing their experience as it currently is. This means you have to understand their experience as it currently is. You have to know your audience and what they are thinking.
As the great copywriting legend Robert Collier said, you have to “join the conversation that is already taking place in the reader’s mind.”
“A” is for AMPLIFY
The next step is to amplify the consequences of not solving the problem. This is really the key to making sales, and it is probably the most neglected step in the process.
What will motivate people to buy your product, invest in your service, or accept your idea is usually not the beautiful outcome framed in a positive light. It is rather, realizing the cost of not attaining that outcome. In other words: what is it costing them to not solve this problem?
When I’m writing copy about a business improvement program, for instance, I may have the reader walk through a simple exercise like this:
Write down your average monthly income over the last 12 months. Then write down what you want your average monthly income to be. Let’s say that your average income is $5000 per month, and your goal is actually to make $15,000 per month in your business. That means the gap between where you are and where you want to be is $10,000 per month. You’re paying a cost of $10,000 every month you don’t solve this problem.
“S” is for STORY and SOLUTION
Once you have described the problem and amplified the consequences of not solving it, it’s time to share the story of how the problem can be solved.
This will be different depending on your situation. It might be the story of how you yourself finally solved this persistent problem. It might be the story of how you helped a client or customer discover the solution on their own.
It does need to be more than simply a description of what the solution is: telling the story of Bob, the frustrated business owner who was on the edge of bankruptcy, whose family had lost faith in him, and who, out of desperation tried one last idea that saved his business, is infinitely more powerful than simply saying, “One day, Bob figured out the answer.”
It should go without saying, but I will say it just in case: the story must absolutely be true. Don’t make these things up. And if you’re thinking, “But what if there is no story?” I would suggest you just haven’t looked closely enough.
There is always a story to tell.
“T” is for TRANSFORMATION and TESTIMONY
The next key step in writing your copy is to remember that whatever you’re selling, whether it’s a home study program, a book, a seminar, your consulting services — anything at all — what people are buying is not the “stuff,” it’s the transformation.
When people buy the P90X workout program, they did not wake up one morning and say to themselves, “I sure hope today somebody tries to sell me a bunch of DVDs and a wall chart.”
Those things (the DVD’s, charts, etc) are the stuff. What buyers of P90X are actually purchasing is that lean, healthy, youthful physique they want for themselves. The transformation.
It’s also important that you offer testimony, real-life stories of people who have made the transformation that you are teaching, and who have done so successfully. Study the most successful infomercials, and you’ll discover that they consist of about 70% testimonials.
And while most of us will not be writing infomercials, it’s important to remember there are three questions people are asking when you sell them coaching, consulting, or instruction about anything. The questions are:
Has this person been able to do what they are describing for themselves?
Has this person been able to teach other people to achieve the results they are describing?
Will this person be able to teach me how to achieve these results?
“O” is for OFFER
So far, you have defined the problem, clarified the cost of not solving it, told the story of the solution, and helped your reader visualize the transformation through testimonials from others just like themselves.
Now is the time to describe exactly what you are offering for sale.
This is the section of your copy where you lay out your offer. You can even create a subheading for the section called something clever like, “Here’s Exactly What You Get.”
Make certain that you focus 80% of your copy on the transformation itself. You do have to talk about the deliverables (the class schedule, the DVDs, etc.), but that should only occupy about 20% of your copy in this section.
Just remember that as you describe the deliverables in the offer section, you must keep tying them back to the transformation and benefits your buyers will receive.
So instead of simply writing that the buyer will receive “8 DVDs, each containing a 45 minute workout session”, you might instead write that they will receive “8 DVDs that each contain a body-sculpting, fat-burning transformational work out that will help you craft the lean muscle you really want.”
“R” is for RESPONSE
This is one of the areas where copy tends to often be the weakest: the response request. We are asking the customer to buy.
At this point, you should not be shy about making this request. You should tell the customer exactly what to do in order to get your program, your consulting, your book, etc. You should remind them why it’s important o do so.
I often write copy similar to this:
You’re at the point of decision. You can either continue down the path of least resistance, the path you have already been traveling, or you can choose the road less traveled. The path of least resistance will probably result in you getting the same outcomes you’ve always received. But if you want something different to happen, if you want to change the direction of your health (or your relationships, or your finances, etc.) you’re going to have to do something different. Make a new choice, and pursue your new outcome.
And then I will write very specific, directive copy telling them exactly what to do next: “Click the button below, fill out the order form, and we will immediately ship your entire package to you. It will contain everything you need to get started.”
Some people shy away from strong language like this, but the fact is, if you truly believe that you have a solution that will solve a problem for people, why on earth would you not be as direct as possible in telling them how to get that solution? In fact, aren’t you doing them a disservice by not making the strongest case possible?
What to do now
My suggestion is that you use this framework to write or rewrite your sales copy. The key to making this approach to writing sales copy successful is the having the mindset of being a “pastor”.
If you apply the principles of being a shepherd to your readers, and you follow the sequence of the P.A.S.T.O.R formula, my prediction is you will experience more sales, more profits, and more happy customers… more often.
What area do you struggle with most when writing copy? Share in the comments.
A Five-Part Framework for Writing Better Sales Copy
If you want to sell more of your products and services, or even simply sell more people on your ideas, you must learn the basics of the art of copywriting.
Photo Credit: ingirogiro via Compfight cc
But what is copywriting, really? One of my favorite definitions was given by a man named John E. Kennedy, back in 1904. Kennedy defined advertising (and copywriting) as: “salesmanship in print.”
If you can write effective sales copy, you can literally write your own paycheck. There really should be no such thing as a “broke copywriter”. By definition, good copywriters can create money out of thin air. So why does copy so often fail?
Copywriting fails when you ignore the principles
There are universal psychological triggers that help you sell more effectively. The problem is, the field of copywriting is strewn with misleading, manipulative, and even in some cases malicious techniques.
You can hardly “swing a cat” without hitting a copywriter who has a “formula” for writing copy. Most of these formulas are actually quite good. Many however, are based on tricks of manipulation and psychology that are more than a bit morally wonky.
The framework I’m going to share with you today, though, is intentionally based on universal principles that are focused on doing good, and helping people make decisions that are in their own best interest.
To sell more, P.A.S.T.O.R. your customers
Most people associate the term “pastor” with the preacher at church. While this is certainly true in most cases, the original meaning of the word “pastor” was actually “to shepherd.” And what does the shepherd do? He or she cares for, feeds, and protects the flock.
Now, before we go any further, I should address the habit that some marketers have of referring to their customers as their “herd.” It seems to paint an unflattering picture.
This kind of imagery is not what I am invoking here. The actual role of a shepherd is a loving, caring, and protective one. In fact, Jesus, who called himself the “good Shepherd” actually laid down his life for his flock.
I am not suggesting any religious overtones for your copy: what I am suggesting is that you adopt the same loving, caring, and protective role as you write copy for your prospects and customers.
And, as you might’ve guessed, P.A.S.T.O.R. is also an acronym for the major sections of your copy. Here is the explanation:
“P” is for PROBLEM
You must begin by identifying the problem that you are solving. The simplest, most effective way to do this is to describe the problem in great detail.
It’s a psychological principle: the more accurately you can describe your reader’s problem in terms they relate to, the more they instinctively feel that you must have an answer to that problem. Use the reader’s own language, the very words and phrases they use to describe the problem they want to solve.
For instance, if you are writing about fitness and weight loss, you might begin by describing their current situation this way: “You’ve tried every fad diet that’s come along.
You’ve started and stopped a dozen different exercise programs, perhaps joined several different gyms, but the truth is you just can’t seem to take the weight off (or keep it off.) Perhaps you’re even feeling a little disgusted with yourself and your inability to control your eating and your weight. You feel like no matter what you try, it’s not going to work.”
Remember, you’re not judging their behavior, rather you are describing their experience as it currently is. This means you have to understand their experience as it currently is. You have to know your audience and what they are thinking.
As the great copywriting legend Robert Collier said, you have to “join the conversation that is already taking place in the reader’s mind.”
“A” is for AMPLIFY
The next step is to amplify the consequences of not solving the problem. This is really the key to making sales, and it is probably the most neglected step in the process.
What will motivate people to buy your product, invest in your service, or accept your idea is usually not the beautiful outcome framed in a positive light. It is rather, realizing the cost of not attaining that outcome. In other words: what is it costing them to not solve this problem?
When I’m writing copy about a business improvement program, for instance, I may have the reader walk through a simple exercise like this:
Write down your average monthly income over the last 12 months. Then write down what you want your average monthly income to be. Let’s say that your average income is $5000 per month, and your goal is actually to make $15,000 per month in your business. That means the “gap” between where you are and where you want to be is $10,000 per month. You’re paying a cost of $10,000 every month you don’t solve this problem.
“S” is for STORY and SOLUTION
Once you have described the problem and amplified the consequences of not solving it, it’s time to share the story of how the problem can be solved.
This will be different depending on your situation. It might be the story of how you yourself finally solved this persistent problem. It might be the story of how you helped a client or customer discover the solution on their own.
It does need to be more than simply a description of what the solution is: telling the story of Bob, the frustrated business owner who was on the edge of bankruptcy, whose family had lost faith in him, and who, out of desperation tried one last idea that saved his business, is infinitely more powerful than simply saying, “One day, Bob figured out the answer.”
It should go without saying, but I will say it just in case: the story must absolutely be true. Don’t make these things up. And if you’re thinking, “But what if there is no story?” I would suggest you just haven’t looked closely enough.
There is always a story to tell.
“T” is for TRANSFORMATION and TESTIMONY
The next key step in writing your copy is to remember that whatever you’re selling, whether it’s a home study program, a book, a seminar, your consulting services — anything at all — what people are buying is not the “stuff,” it’s the transformation.
When people buy the P90X workout program, they did not wake up one morning and say to themselves, “I sure hope today somebody tries to sell me a bunch of DVDs and a wall chart.”
Those things (the DVD’s, charts, etc) are the stuff. What buyers of P90X are actually purchasing is that lean, healthy, youthful physique they want for themselves. The transformation.
It’s also important that you offer testimony, real-life stories of people who have made the transformation that you are teaching, and who have done so successfully. Study the most successful infomercials, and you’ll discover that they consist of about 70% testimonials.
And while most of us will not be writing infomercials, it’s important to remember there are three questions people are asking when you sell them coaching, consulting, or instruction about anything. The questions are:
Has this person been able to do what they are describing for themselves?
Has this person been able to teach other people to achieve the results they are describing?
Will this person be able to teach me how to achieve these results?
“O” is for OFFER
So far, you have defined the problem, clarified the cost of not solving it, told the story of the solution, and helped your reader visualize the transformation through testimonials from others just like themselves.
Now is the time to describe exactly what you are offering for sale.
This is the section of your copy where you lay out your offer. You can even create a subheading for the section called something clever like, “Here’s Exactly What You Get.”
Make certain that you focus 80% of your copy on the transformation itself. You do have to talk about the deliverables (the class schedule, the DVDs, etc.), but that should only occupy about 20% of your copy in this section.
Just remember that as you describe the deliverables in the offer section, you must keep tying them back to the transformation and benefits your buyers will receive.
So instead of simply writing that the buyer will receive “8 DVDs, each containing a 45 minute workout session”, you might instead write that they will receive “8 DVDs that each contain a body-sculpting, fat-burning transformational work out that will help you craft the lean muscle you really want.”
“R” is for RESPONSE
This is one of the areas where copy tends to often be the weakest: the response request. We are asking the customer to buy.
At this point, you should not be shy about making this request. You should tell the customer exactly what to do in order to get your program, your consulting, your book, etc. You should remind them why it’s important o do so.
I often write copy similar to this: “You’re at the point of decision. You can either continue down the path of least resistance, the path you have already been traveling, or you can choose the road less traveled.
The path of least resistance will probably result in you getting the same outcomes you’ve always received. But if you want something different to happen, if you want to change the direction of your health (or your relationships, or your finances, etc.) you’re going to have to do something different. Make a new choice, and pursue your new outcome.”
And then I will write very specific, directive copy telling them exactly what to do next: “Click the button below, fill out the order form, and we will immediately ship your entire package to you. It will contain everything you need to get started.”
Some people shy away from strong language like this, but the fact is, if you truly believe that you have a solution that will solve a problem for people, why on earth would you not be as direct as possible in telling them how to get that solution? In fact, aren’t you doing them a disservice by not making the strongest case possible?
What to do now
My suggestion is that you use this framework to write or rewrite your sales copy. The key to making this approach to writing sales copy successful is the having the mindset of being a “pastor”.
If you apply the principles of being a shepherd to your readers, and you follow the sequence of the P.A.S.T.O.R formula, my prediction is you will experience more sales, more profits, and more happy customers… more often.
What area do you struggle with most when writing copy? Share in the comments.
July 24, 2014
014: Is Content Really King? [Podcast]
You’ve heard it before, repeated again and again all over the Internet, as if it were gospel truth: “Content is king.” The problem is it’s just not true.
Photo credit: Kevin Chang (Creative Commons)
Content is not king. Content is a fat, dethroned monarch, dis-empowered of his royal ability to influence. And he lost that power a long time ago.
In other words, your words aren’t enough. I almost wish they were. In this episode of the podcast, I’ll explain why.
Click to listen
To listen to the show, click the player below (or if viewing this in email, click here.)
You can also download it at iTunes or on Stitcher.
Even Hemingway’s words weren’t enough
Plenty of brilliant writers don’t get the attention their work deserves. I’m learning this as I read Hemingway: The Paris Years.
In the 1920s, Ernest Hemingway moved to Paris. Now, he knew Paris wasn’t a magical place. He knew the city itself wouldn’t make his writing better. He didn’t move there for the view; he moved to Paris to get better connected.
Hemingway realized the game of being a writer didn’t involve just writing. It involved knowing and learning from influential people. And that is just as true today as it was a hundred years ago.
Will all those brilliant writers eventually get noticed? Maybe… some day. But why not now? Why not today? Because we’ve been believing a lie.
I said I “almost” wished content was enough, because now I know the secret to why some writers flourish while others do not. It has to do with relationships.
Relationships rule the web
Think about it. This is the Inter-net. The World Wide Web. These are social networks. This whole stinking thing is predicated on the idea of relationships and connection.
So why in the world would little ol’ you on the couch with your laptop be able to make a difference without stepping one foot into the deep, scary waters of relationship?
Doesn’t make sense, does it?
Networking is the best marketing
I used to be terrible at relationships. I thought all I needed to do was write. But I was wrong.
Frankly, I was scared and lazy. I didn’t want to meet people; I just wanted to write. Unfortunately, that’s not how the world works. So why would I think for one minute the web might be different?
Even in “real life,” it’s not just what you know that matters, but who you know. In business, the best way to promote an idea, product, or service is through relationship.
We all know this, because in the Information Age, when we are all over-saturated with media messages, we don’t buy what advertising tell us to buy. We buy what our friends recommend.
What you know needs to be magnified by who you know. (Tweet that)
Relationship is why we write
Here’s the bottom line: Without putting yourself out there, your work doesn’t get found. You have to connect and converse. You must engage.
Although that may feel like a hassle for some, it’s not as bad as it sounds. After all, it’s why many of us got into the business in the first place. Wasn’t it? To relate? To connect? To influence?
If you’ve longed for your words to make a difference and been disappointed with the results, then you had better get started. It’s time to build some relationships. And please, let’s stop believing the lie that content is enough.
Sure, it’s a good start, but you’re going to need more than content.
Content is a given
Yes, you need to write. And yes, it needs to be good. But that’s the bare minimum, the prerequisite to making the kind of connections your work was intended for. You need to learn from the people you connect with. You need to serve and gain trust and earn opportunity.
Whatever you do after reading this, I hope you stop believing that sitting in a cabin somewhere with a pen and paper is enough to succeed. It’s not. It may be sufficient to feed your soul, but it’s not enough to sell books, make a living, or even get your words read by another human being.
What you need is attention. And the only way to do that is to get in front of people, to build relationships.
To put it in less savory terms, you are going to have to market your stuff. What does that look like? Simple:
Help as many people as you can.
Give away as much of your work as you can.
When the time is right, ask.
Doesn’t sound so bad, right? If you do those things, you will be on your way to earning an audience. People will read what you write, because you have taken the time to get your words out there. Because you did the tough, scary work of marketing.
And maybe that’s not such a terrible thing, after all.
Recommended resources and other news
For another perspective, read this article about design being king.
Check out the book, Hemingway: The Paris Years, on Amazon. Or get it free when you sign up for Audible, the audiobook resource I use (note: those are affiliate links).
This weekend, I’m speaking at a writing conference in Atlanta. If you’re in the area and would like to meet up, please come to my meetup on Friday.
What do you think? Is content king? Share in the comments.
July 22, 2014
How Being Mistaken for a Girl Made Me a Better Blogger
Everyone of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false self. We are not very good at recognizing illusions, least of all the ones we cherish about ourselves.
–Thomas Merton
The first job I ever had was as newspaper delivery boy. I was twelve years old and really into the grunge scene, which meant I spent most of my time sitting around the house listening to music. So my parents thought a job would do me some good.
Photo Credit: nep via Compfight cc
Every day, a truck from the Beacon News would drop off a large stack of newspapers at my front door. After school, I would spend about thirty minutes rolling the papers and wrapping them with rubber bands in preparation for my route.
Then I would spend the next hour, walking around town, delivering papers to people’s doorsteps.
When I first started this job, I envisioned myself riding a bike with a bag over my shoulder, tossing the newspapers at people’s doors. But when I tried this, they always ended up in the bushes or I almost crashed my bike. So I stuck with walking.
After the first month of doing this, I had to go around town, collecting dues. This was when customers were supposed to pay for their subscription, but it was also an opportunity for them to tip me.
So I put on my best concert T-shirt and flannel and set out to make some money.
The biggest embarrassment of my pre-adolescence
One of the last houses I came to was the house of an older gentleman whom I had never met before. I knocked on the door and had to wait a minute before he answered. We talked for a few minutes and after paying me, he said something that I’m sure he thought was a compliment but was anything but.
Well, aren’t you an enterprising young little lady! I’ll bet you’re going to be an entrepreneur some day.
Well, he was right about one thing.
In case you were unaware, I am in fact male, not female. Yes, I know that in my bio pic I look no older than thirteen years old, but I assure you: In spite of my inability to grow a mustache, I am a man!
Sadly, the preteen me didn’t just look young. He had long hair, was chubby without much body definition, and worn baggy T-shirts and lots of flannel (it was the 90s, everybody did it). And this wasn’t the first time I was mistaken for being a girl.
But that wasn’t the worst part.
I’m not sure if it was because I was embarrassed or shy or just because the man had given me money, but for some reason I didn’t feel the need to correct him. And for the rest of the time I delivered papers to his house, he mistook my for being a girl. I never corrected him.
Has this ever happened to you? Someone mistakes your name or something at a party, calling you John instead of Josh, or Katherine instead of Kathleen, and because you didn’t catch it the first time, you just kind of go with it?
Well, that’s what I did.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to live with this false identity as a little girl for long, because I quit the paper route after a few months. It only took a little rain and snow for me to realize there had to be easier ways to make a buck.
Unfortunately, this kind of thing kept happening to me for the next ten years. Not being mistaken for a girl — okay, that probably happened a few more times, too — but assuming an identity someone else gave me instead of my true self. And it didn’t end until I made an important choice.
An ongoing case of mistaken identity
According to Trappist monk Thomas Merton, we each have two selves: the true self and the false self. The true self is who you really are; the false self is the part you most often show people. It’s the safe self, the person you know others will approve of.
The problem is that if you live as your false self long enough, you start thinking it’s the real thing.
This was what I did for years as a writer. I tried copying what my idols did and what seemed to work for them. I tried to find an unexploited niche and only grew frustrated when every market I found was overcrowded.
I chased trends, followed formulas. None of it worked.
Looking around at the bloggers I was trying to imitate, I wondered: what were they doing that I wasn’t? Finally, it dawned on me. These people weren’t, in spite of what they sometimes claimed, only writing about one thing.
This is an important principle not just of writing, but of any kind of communication.
The world’s most powerful speakers, presenters, and artists aren’t stuck in a single genre or topic. They’re creating content based on a worldview.
What you say is only part of the equation. The other part is how you say it. It’s not enough to have a powerful message. You have to have a powerful way of communicating it.
And how do you do that? With a worldview that resonates.
How this applies to your message
Take my friend Pat Flynn, for instance. What do you think of when you hear his name? If you’re familiar with his work, you might think of passive income, and you would be right. But only half right.
Pat is not the only guy who talks about passive income — far from it. And he wasn’t the first person to make a claim on that niche. So how did he become such a popular voice in the subject? How did he become an expert? He shared his worldview.
Pat believes if you have a platform, it’s your responsibility to help as many people as possible, regardless of if they return the favor. And if you know him at all, you know that he practices what he preaches. He just might be the nicest guy on the Internet.
That’s why you’ll catch him not just talking about business, but his family and life and all the things that matter to him. And his tribe loves him for it. That’s the power of a worldview: it’s attractive.
A good communicator knows that what attracts people is not just niching down but targeting a specific worldview and making meaningful connections with what people believe.
So what do you write about?
Is it business? Or are you, in fact, helping people live freer lives? What do you really believe, and how can that permeate every word you share with your audience? Remember that what you say is only part of it. The other part is how.
Putting it all together
If this resonates, here’s what you need to do next to create powerful communication that changes the world:
Identify your worldview and pick a fight. Think in terms of what bugs you, of what you just can’t stand. Then take a stand.
Share your message with the world. I like the format of a manifesto, a short shareable document that moves people to action.
See what resonates. When you put your words out there, do people respond? If they do, you’ve got something special, a tribe that you can grow and lead. If not, you need to try all over again.
You know, it wasn’t that old man’s fault for calling me a girl. He made a mistake, sure. But after that first time, whose responsibility was it to correct the mistake? Mine. And if people are misunderstanding your message or just not listening, that’s your fault.
So one last time I want to ask you: What is it that you write about? What is your blog about? Is it what you’ve been saying? Or have you been trying to play somebody else’s game instead of the one you were born to play?
Remember: what you say is just as important as how you say it.
In spite of what your mom told you, you’re not that special. There are seven billion people in this world. So if you are one in a million, that means there are seven thousand people out there just like you. How will you lead them?
I recommend starting with a worldview. Everyone has one. And it’s time to share yours.
To download the PDF notes from this talk, click this link. If that doesn’t work, right-click (control-click on a Mac) and select “save as.”
What is an example when what you said wasn’t as important as how you said it? Share in the comments.
July 18, 2014
013: How to Create Your Own Freedom, Live an Adventure, & Do Work That Matters: A Chat with Chris Guillebeau [Podcast]
Wherever you look, there are voices telling you to “live a better story” or do something “epic.” They make it sound easy. But it’s not so simple, is it? The truth is the epic life requires more than just blind courage.
Few people understand this better than Chris Guillebeau.
This is Chris, doing what he does: taking risks.
Chris is a friend, mentor, and patron to the work that I do (he graciously endorsed my book, Wrecked). What impresses me most about him is his ability to stay true to his values of generosity and adventurous living while wisely providing for himself so that he can sustain those passions.
I had a chance last year to sit down with Chris and chat about these ideas. I’m bringing it back for the podcast because he has pulled off what most of us think is impossible. He’s living a life full of adventurous experiences and creative endeavors without going broke.
That’s what we discuss in this interview.
Click to listen
To listen to the show, click the player below (or if viewing this in email, click here.)
You can also download it at iTunes or on Stitcher.
Around the world in eleven years
Chris has always loved adventure. In his mid-20’s, he set a goal to visit every country in the world. It’s taken over a decade (depending on how you count it), but he reached his goal last year.
As he approached the end of his journey, a funny thing happened. He started worrying about what was next. This had been his identity for so long time, that he wasn’t quite sure what to do next.
And as he reflected, he decided to do what he encourages others to do. Explore. Try something new. Seek out moments of inspiration or discovery. (Click here to tweet that.)
And it worked.
What do you want for your life?
Now, Chris doesn’t believe everyone has to travel the world. But he does believe we all should do things that stretch and challenge us.
For a long time, he wanted to be a writer instead of actually being a writer and just sitting down and doing it. Sound familiar?
We all have fears and misconceptions to overcome. But it’s important to think about what we really want for our lives. And it’s even more important to take the next step, to ask how we can structure our lives in a way that brings us closer to our goals.
In the interview we also talked about:
Balancing risk-taking with responsibilities
The entrepreneurial spirit
The obstacles to starting a business in a world where it’s easier than ever before
Why it’s important to start right now
Make sure you listen to the whole episode or download the full transcript here. (Special thanks to Eva P. Scott for her wonderful transcription wizardry!)
To find out more about Chris Guillebeau, check out his website and pre-order his upcoming book The Happiness of Pursuit . He also hosts the annual World Domination Summit (WDS), which I attended this past weekend. It’s a great place to get inspired and have a good time in Portland. I hope to see you there next year!
And if you want to catch up with me before the next WDS, check out my upcoming speaking events. I’m also hosting a meetup in Duluth, Georgia next weekend and another in New Orleans, Louisiana in September. Click the city names for details.
Have you considered the kind of life you want to live? What would it take? Share in the comments.
July 15, 2014
The Problem with Asking for Advice
Often, when asking for advice, a person isn’t really seeking something new. They’re just looking for validation, affirmation of a choice already made. And this is a problem.
Photo Credit: Major Clanger via Compfight cc
When someone asks another person’s advice, they’re usually asking two questions:
“What am I doing wrong?”
“What are you doing that I’m not doing?”
Sometimes, you get the same answer to both questions, and that can certainly be enlightening. But that’s not the hard part of the process.
The hard part comes when you have to do something, when you have to change your habits or adjust your attitude. When you have to get up at 5 a.m. or stop eating junk food.
For whatever reason, we resist this part. We ignore the hard work, hiding behind programs and fads that promise instantaneous results. No wonder we’re so jaded about living our dreams and finding work that matters. And no wonder these efforts so easily fail.
We don’t really want advice. We want to be right.
I don’t know why we think the rules of physics don’t apply to us or why we avoid the discomfort of change, but we do. This is why we beg mentors for “tricks” and gurus to share their “secrets.” We want help solving problems we already know the solutions to. And we want the answers to be easy.
Incidentally, this is also why sages of old are often found out in the desert, tucked away from society and technology and the distractions of the world.
They learned long ago that there is a big difference between talking about changing your life and actually doing it.
When it comes to solving our own problems, we usually know what must be done. Often, it’s the very thing we’re avoiding, the hard choice we’re simply afraid to make. And what’s required of us is that one choice we almost always refuse to make: We have to change.
In light of this, I’d like to propose a new question to ask ourselves before asking someone else’s advice. It’s a simple requisite that, I think, would change the conversation entirely.
Instead of asking what you should do, ask yourself this question first:
Am I willing to change what I’ve been doing to get different results?
If the answer is no, then the other questions don’t matter. You have your answer.
If everyone did this, the only advice given would be taken seriously. And what a wonderful world that would be where we wouldn’t have to waste each other’s time, talking about things we never had any intention of doing.
July 11, 2014
What to Do With Your One and Only Story
You know the ones.
The stories that keep you up at night, the ones that have you dog-earing pages and weeping in the margins for all these characters have gone through and you want to sleep but you want to read, more, because here’s the thing: these people are real.
The ones you’re reading about, they’re flesh and blood, and besides a few name changes there’s not much fabricated because it’s a memoir.
But the best memoir isn’t just about real people; it’s about the art and the sanctity of storytelling.
All of us have a story
But not all of us have a story that is ready to be published.
Think back to those books you love. What are the elements that make them not only readable, but enjoyable? How do they pull you in and hold you, like a strong pair of arms?
The most memorable and poignant of stories have:
Relatable characters
A strong, unique plot
A powerful, unified message
A believable journey
A satisfying ending
Tying these five elements together is the trembling humility of it all—like a long, torn ribbon—knowing that you need to write this because you have the gifts, but not knowing if you want to bare your soul to the world.
If there’s no trembling in your fingertips, if there’s no hesitation, it may be that you want your story out there for the wrong reasons. It’s valid to want to be seen and heard, but if you’re going into publishing to have those needs met, you will be sorely disappointed.
Though many writers may begin that way, the best memoirs cling to the sanctity of the story free of the undue demands of an author’s ego.
Sanctity is found in the calling
You need to ask yourself: Why am I writing this book? Is it to fulfill a childhood dream? Is it to pass down my story to future generations? Or is it because I feel God has asked me to share my story with the world?
The publishing journey is agonizing and hard and, for most, the rewards are few. There are some who strike it big and this may, in fact, be you—but be sure your motives are pure before heading into the arduous journey of exposing not only your own wounds, but your family’s as well.
I was standing outside by the woodshed one day, my boys playing around me, crying because my family was reading through the second draft of my memoir and they had a lot of changes they wanted me to make, and some hurts they wanted to express.
It’s a healing path, this writing about your life, but it’s a hard one. You will have stones thrown and even if you’re one of the few that makes it big, the journey will be painstaking and lonely.
So, how do you know what to do with your one and only story?
All of our stories matter
But, here’s the thing: Some stories need to be passed on to future generations. Some stories need to be preserved via tape recorder, in a journal or diary, as a keepsake for the family.
What were you put on earth to do? To pour your life into the radical act of living? Or to put words to your living? And where are those words to go? Into the hands of your children? Into the blogosphere? Or out into the world?
We’re all in a rush to be known.
Yet we’ve forgotten we’re already known by One who has counted the very hairs on our heads—and this truth needs to be the heart of all of our stories:
This desire to make God known, more than ourselves.
Now that’s a story worth telling.
Today we’re giving away five copies of Emily’s memoir, Atlas Girl . Leave a comment below for your chance to win a copy.
ALL proceeds from Atlas Girl will go towards The Lulu Tree. The Lulu Tree is dedicated to preventing tomorrow’s orphans by equipping today’s mothers. It is a grassroots organization bringing healing and hope to women and children in the slums of Uganda through the arts, community, and the gospel.
How are you sharing your story? Share in the comments.
July 8, 2014
Why Everyone Should Write a Book
Recently, I turned in my next book, thus beginning the painful process of editing. After hundreds of hours of research, dozens of interviews, and thirty-something books later, not to mention of course the writing, it made me wonder if all this work is worth the cost.
Photo Credit: Giandomenico Ricci via Compfight cc
As we begin to edit the book, I will undoubtedly see things I somehow missed. Some will be pleasant surprises, like an unexpected stroke of genius, while others will be difficult discoveries. As in, I wrote that? REALLY? Yuck.
But as I do this, as I put myself through massive scrutiny and subject my work to criticism, I realize something.
I think everyone should write a book.
Really? Everyone?
Yep. And here’s why:
Because it’s hard. And everyone should do something hard at some point. That’s what shapes our character and makes us appreciate the things worth doing.
Because it’ll humble you. Writing a book (which is hard) will make you see things in yourself – your writing, your worldview, your weird way of expressing ideas – that you didn’t otherwise notice.
Because it’ll kill your cynicism. It’ll give you a newfound respect for other authors and the work they do. In fact, if everyone became an author, we wouldn’t have professional critics. Just a community of people who cared enough to speak up.
Because it’ll teach you about yourself. Flannery O’Connor said she didn’t know what she thought about something until she read what she said. I’m inclined to agree.
Because it’s the best way to share an idea or story that matters. And if it matters to you, maybe it’ll matter to others.
Because the book you actually write is better than the one you dream of writing. Most people have a dream of writing a book but never realize it. Not because they can’t or don’t know how, but because they’re afraid. Because an unrealized dream is safer than an action that could fail.
As my friend Marion reminded me, once you’ve written the book, you’ve already won. You’ve done something that most people say they want to do, but don’t. You’ve shipped, which is more than most will do.
And once you’ve done that, you can go write another.
But everyone won’t write a book…
Of course, everyone won’t write a book. They’ll come up with plenty of good excuses, like “I’m not a writer” or “What would I have to say?” and so on. But deep down, they’ll still dream.
No, not everyone will write a book, but you could. And maybe you should. Not so you can become a best-selling author or get heaps of praise and money. But so you can make something important and share it with the world.
So you can say you did something hard, something that humbled you, that helped you care and become more self-aware, allowing you to share an important idea.
Because while there may be too much noise in this world, we can never have too many people who care.
(For more tips on writing a book, check out: 10 Ridiculously Simple Tips for Writing a Book.)
Have you ever thought of writing a book? Tell me about it in the comments.
