Davalynn Spencer's Blog, page 44
February 13, 2017
And They Lived Happily Ever …
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
Chocolate and flowers abound in February because it’s the love month and romance is in the air. Greeting-card companies, candy manufacturers, and florists attribute much of their business to this short-on-days, long-on-love month.
However, it takes more than candy and flowers to make a good romance.
As a romance writer, February isn’t the only month I have love on the brain. I watch the Hallmark Channel all year long because I know I can find a romantic story there with a happy ending.
Happy endings are what qualify romance as romance and not simply love stories like Romeo and Juliet and the 1970 tear-jerker, Love Story.
However, many real-life people think they have the happy-ending equation figured out, and they spend their lives (and several broken relationships) trying to make their equation work:
Perfect + Perfect = Happy
Even Cupid’s arrow wouldn’t hit the mark with this philosophy.
In a well-written romance, the hero and heroine are not perfect people. They are flawed and they spend the majority of the story discovering that they love each other in spite of those flaws.
News flash: There is not a “perfect” man anywhere who is not flawed. Husband, boyfriend, son, father, brother—every single one of them carries wounds.
Women deal with the same condition, regardless of how much makeup is applied. We’re wounded, flawed, imperfect people.
A couple thousand years ago, the only Perfect Person to walk the planet stepped out of unapproachable light with His arms opened wide, headed straight for us. Jesus loves us beyond what we can imagine, and He always will.
So here’s my Valentine’s Day advice: If you are looking for a perfect someone, focus on Jesus. He will help you find the flawed person who is perfect for you and your flaws.
If you already have a special someone who is anything but perfect, Jesus will help you love that person in spite of his or her flaws—and yours.
Because it’s the flaws and how we deal with them that make a good romance.
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February 6, 2017
It’s a Give-and-Take World
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
My first year as a sixth-grade teacher, I sprinkled my classroom walls with quotes, pinning them around the room at student-eye level. One of my favorites was taken from a desktop calendar:
“Some people find fault like there is a reward for it.”
Zig Ziglar is credited with this witty play on the word “find.” I wanted my students to know that I wasn’t there to find fault with them, but to help them find improvement. There is a difference.
As children (and adults) we often take what we find. Remember the old adage, “Finders keepers, losers weepers”?
We remember it because it rhymes, which is one of the many reasons millions of dollars flow into ad agencies. If companies can get a pithy phrase to stick in consumers’ minds, those consumers are more likely to buy/use/talk about the product.
Words are like that—they stick. Have you noticed? Sometimes they stick like lint or a kiss. Sometimes like Velcro.
Or a dart.
The pointed words usually have a barb on the end that keeps us from brushing them off.
Maybe that’s why it’s so easy to take offense when we walk away from a conversation feeling like a dart board.
I’ve always been intrigued by the construction of the phrase “take offense.” It’s right up there with “find fault.” Our language constructs both phrases in the active voice, making them something that someone does.
So is it possible to not do either one? To not find fault or take offense?
I believe it is, but not doing something is like going on a diet or giving up a bad habit—it creates a vacuum that wants to suck in everything in sight.
It’s easier to not do one thing if we can actively do something else.
God gave us a great escape from the vacuum of not taking offense. The approach follows Jesus’ teaching that it is more blessed to give than to receive.
The New Testament teacher, Paul, told believers to “Let your conversation be always full of grace …” (Colossians 4:6 NIV).
Be gracious in your speech, The Message says.
So I guess we have a choice in our give-and-take world. We can give grace or we can take offense.
Let’s be grace-givers this week.
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January 30, 2017
The Potential of “Except”
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
No, you didn’t misread that title, nor did I use the wrong word—except rather than accept.
People frequently confuse these homophones (they sound alike). “Accept” means to receive; “except” means to exclude, make an exception. Everything except this or that.
An *Old Testament story tells of a widow facing serious debt and the loss of her sons. She went to the prophet Elisha for help, and he asked what she had in her house. “Nothing,” she said. “Nothing except a small jar of oil.”
Her “except” made all the difference. It was the catalyst to her obedience that resulted in changing her life and the lives of her children. In truth, all she had was the capacity to obey … and a little oil.
Aren’t we a lot like that widow when God asks what we have that He can work with?
“I have nothing,” we say. “Well … nothing except a little money. A little time. A little talent. A little extra food in the freezer. A few extra clothes in the closet …”
What do we really have when we say we have nothing? What is the “except” in our lives that God can use if we give it to Him?
*To find out what happened to the widow and her sons, read this story in 2 Kings 4.
2 Kings 4:2
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January 23, 2017
Never Give Up
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
It had been several months—a season, in fact—since I’d bought coffee at our church’s in-house coffee shop, and I needed a cup of pumpkin-spice latte.
NEVER had I received an anti-splash sticker in the past. Maybe it was a new thing they’d started. But that Sunday morning, the sticker atop my black plastic lid said,
NEVER give up!
As an educator, I avoid the words “never” and “always” when teaching, for students will invariably come up with exceptions. It never fails. I mean … it seldom, if ever, fails.
But there it was, that word on my first sticker from the Connections Café, arriving at an iffy point in my life.
Coincidence?
I think not.
I think God was paying attention. The server could have given me a different sticker, one with a bird or a smiley face or whatever.
Rather than the one I needed.
I found a seat in the sanctuary, carefully removed the sticker, and applied it to the inside back cover of my Bible. And to my heart.
Thank you, God.
Have you ever received a surprising word or act of encouragement when you least expected it? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.
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January 16, 2017
A Light on My Path
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
Last week my son posted a video of his drive to work in Cripple Creek, Colorado, along what is known as Shelf Road. (I shared it on my Facebook page.)
There is a very good reason this byway is called Shelf Road, or The Shelf, by those hearty souls who travel it day in and day out.
Or nights, as the case may be.
The Shelf was a stage route from Canon City to Cripple Creek in the 1890s and early 1900s. At either end, the road is just that—a road with gorgeous mountain vistas—until you get to what locals call the “High Shelf.”
Sans guardrails, pavement, pull-outs, or a second lane, the High Shelf snakes along sheer cliffs like, well, a shelf.
Once a driver makes it to the High Shelf, commitment comes quite naturally. There is no turning around. No pulling over to the side of the road because, quite frankly, there is no side of the road.
When driven at night, the adventure reminds me of navigating life by faith.
As the video and photo above show, a vehicle’s headlights shoot out only so far in the dark, less than two hundred feet, but that’s enough to light the way. As the driver progresses, so do the lights, revealing what lies just ahead, but not what’s around the next bend or a hairpin turn.
The driver has to trust that when he reaches the next bend or turn, his headlights will show him the way.
Isn’t that similar to our faith-walk with the Lord? We want to know our life’s route. We want to see around those shadowy turns up ahead, but the Lord says, “Trust Me. I’ll get you there.”
The Psalmist wrote, “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” If we stop and think about it, that’s a pretty short beam, yet it shines onto the most critical part of our journey: where we are at the moment.
God’s word assures us of His presence, and His presence gives us peace and direction.
The next time we find ourselves navigating one of life’s High Shelf roads, let’s draw on His promises, remembering that Jesus is our Light. He’ll get us where we need to be if we trust Him.
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January 9, 2017
To Read or Not to Read
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
In 2016 I read several new-to-me authors along with my standby favorites. Not all their books were new releases; several were older.
Today I want to share twelve authors with you that I enjoyed last year. The list is a mix of contemporary and historical romance genres because I read both, though two books are not romances: the first and the last. Most of the authors are women except, yes, the first and the last.
This is by no means a comprehensive list of authors I enjoy, nor is it more than a sampling of the dozens of books I read during the year. There are many more because, as an author, when I’m not writing, wrangling words with my creative-writing students at the college, or traipsing back roads with Blue the Cow Dog, I’m reading.
I hope you’ll find a few new-to-you books in this pile for the coming year.
Happy reading!
Randomly listed in no particular order of enjoyment:
Louis L’Amour – Ride the River
Karen Witemeyer – No Other Will Do, A Worthy Pursuit
Cynthia Ruchti – Restoring Christmas
Laura Frantz – Courting Morrow Little, The Mistress of Tall Acre, The Colonel’s Lady
Liz Johnson – Where Two Hearts Meet
Deeanne Gist – A Bride Most Begrudging
Susan Meissner – The Girl in the Glass
Jen Turano – After a Fashion
Sarah Loudin Thomas – Until the Harvest
Becky Wade – Undeniably Yours
Beth Vogt – You Can’t Hurry Love
William Paul Young – Eve
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January 2, 2017
Resolution or Revolution?
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
Help—my plate runneth over! Anyone else feel the same way?
I don’t need
One.
More.
Thing.
To.
Do.
But neither do I need resolutions. I need a revolution—a change. A way to declutter, delete, and delegate some of the activities and obligations in my life that are crowding out more important commitments and responsibilities.
Remember the old slogan, “Just say no.” Easier said than done on many levels.
A resolution (saying) is a statement—a list of things I should do.
A revolution (doing) is an action, and the last time I checked, actions still speak louder than words.
So here’s my approach:
Pray about each activity I’m currently involved in.
Can I delete it or delegate it?
Be kind and professional about it either way.
Remember that God wants me to lighten up. That’s why He said to bring my burdens to Him.
Are you planning a resolution this year or a revolution?
Which would you prefer to see in your life?
Which will bring about the most change?
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December 26, 2016
Not here, not now.
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
Did Mary think,
“O God—not here, not now”?
Yet it was perfect.
The perfect place.
The perfect time.
When we cry out,
“O God—not here, not now”
may we remember that
a less than perfect place,
a less than perfect time
might be
the perfect opportunity
For His love to enfold us,
cradle us,
and shine into someone’s night.
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December 19, 2016
Tinsel or Tension Decking your Halls?
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
On cold mornings, I build a fire in our woodstove and sit in front of it with a hot cup of coffee. It’s become my wintertime place to meet with Jesus, the place where I share my heart, read His words, listen for His voice.
Not only does the woodstove offer a tangible warmth, it is companionable—an entity in the room, nearly living and breathing with its glass door that reveals the flickering, glowing flames.
It talks, too.
While the stove heats up, it ticks rapidly as the metal expands in response to the hot flames. But when it cools and the iron “shrinks,” the ticking sounds come slowly. Almost reluctantly.
Our language reflects this physical law—the metaphor has been built in for years. Things (and people) heat up quickly. Tempers flare. It takes longer to cool off. Settle down.
Jesus’ brother James encourages us to reverse the process where our natures are concerned. “Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath,” he writes.
This Christmas season as we gather with family and friends, in-laws and outlaws, let’s remember James’s instruction.
It is so easy to allow our tempers to flare, fueled by errant words that may be unintentional. Or not. It doesn’t matter.
May we instead bring the peace of Christ to our tables with ears and hearts open to listen and lips ready to smile and praise the King.
The driver passed behind her, smelling of leather and snow. A dark wool shirt hugged his broad shoulders, and the scarf still circled his neck. Without his hat, blond hair fell across his brow, and bright pink tipped his ears and nose. He stood with his back to the flame, and blue eyes swept her with bridled appreciation. He nodded once.
Rattled by his obvious assessment, she returned his nod as curtly as possible. She could be just as tight-lipped as he.
–from “The Snowbound Bride”
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December 12, 2016
Christmas is Messy
By Davalynn Spencer @davalynnspencer
Did you notice the flour on the kitchen flour, the wrapping-paper scraps on the dining table, the crowds at the mall?
Yes, Christmas is messy. Preparation for any important event is usually messy. And complicated. And stressful.
And if we allow it – exciting.
Somehow for me, Christmas excitement erupts in preparations for the big celebration. The decorating. The baking. The gift-wrapping.
I will admit, however, one thing I avoid with great intent is Black Friday shopping. I just don’t go there.
Otherwise, I love the whole getting-ready thing.
I think God enjoys the pre-event planning as well. He says He “prepares a table for me” and goes to “prepare a place” for us.
But when I consider Christmas, I see God’s preparation on a whole different level.
He prepared
a star.
A mother.
An earthly father to watch over His son.
A feed-trough bed.
Shepherds.
Kings.
He prepared for the Advent of Immanuel in all its blessed messiness.
I’m so glad He went to the trouble. A little bit of flour, sticky tape, and wrapping paper seems like so little in comparison.
May you have a very Merry messy Christmas!
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Twelve days until Christmas.
Perfect timing to read one Christmas-Bride novella each day!
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