Beth K. Vogt's Blog, page 96

In Others’ Words: Winning (& announcing the winner of the Beach Bag Giveaway!)

“Winning isn’t getting ahead of others. It’s getting ahead of yourself.” ~Roger Staubach (1942-), Hall of Fame former quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys

So often, we make life a competition.

Wait … I won’t speak for you. I’ll keep this post focused on the one person I can speak for: me.

Ahem.

So often, I make life a competition. In our family, we joke about how competitive we are. If you’re ever around for a Vogt family game night, you’ll learn board games are fun … to a point. Yes, we like to win.

Here’s the thing about winning: Somebody else has to lose.

I know — brilliant deduction, right?

Here’s what I’ve realized: Ensuring I’m a winner by climbing over other people is no fun. When I label myself a winner at the expense of someone else, I foster a negative mindset about the other person. And playing the “I’m a winner and you’re the loser” game is  exhausting. I’m constantly checking to see how I’m doing based on how everyone else is doing. My position changes daily — sometimes hourly.

Am I against competition? Nope. I even believe kids need to experience both winning and losing. Life is made up off both, after all.

But I like Staubach’s perspective: How am I doing — as a woman, a wife, a mom, a writer — compared to me … yesterday? Have I matured? Changed? Learned something new? The reality is, I’m my toughest opponent.

In Your Words: What are you doing to get ahead of yourself today?

**Lindsay Harrel won the Beach Bag giveaway! Thanks to everyone who shared a romantic moment story!**

Please join me at my friend Jessica R. Patch’s blog today where we’re talking about postcards, llamas, wedding dresses and the two things I need to make it through the day!

In Others’ Words: Smile

“All people smile in the same language.” Anonymous

It’s Friday.

Just saying those two words is enough to put a smile on a lot of people’s faces.

So tell me … what are you smiling about?

Are you remembering something you did this past week –or someone you got to spend time with?

Or are you looking forward to the weekend because you’ve got big plans? Are you counting the minutes until you see someone or head out to someplace special?

Have a great weekend — and share your smile with others.

 

In Your Words: Whatcha’ smiling about?

 

The Beach Bag Giveaway Contest Ends tomorrow!

Don’t forget: Go here to take part my Beach Bag Giveaway! Leave a comment sharing a Best, Worst and/or Funniest Romantic Moment Contest for a chance to win:

a beach bag with a beach towel,
a copy of Wish You Were Here (whichUSAToday.comcalled a “ fun novel (which) has “beach read” written all over it.”)
a $50 Visa gift card (for you to enjoy a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant with your sweetheart.)

I’ll announce the winner on Monday’s blog!

Let’s Talk Romance: Friendship & Dating

“Love is friendship set to music.” ~E. Joseph Cossmann, author & entrepreneur

I’ve often heard it said that you should marry your best friend.

That’s not how it happened for me.

Yes, I loved my husband Rob when we married … but we became best friends as the weeks, months and years passed. We’ve done life together through thick and through thin and Rob knows me better than anyone else in the entire world.

Best friends? Absolutely. We love each and we like each other.

In the book Lists to Live By, compiled by Alice Gray, Steve Stephens and John Van Diest (Multnomah 1999), there’s a list titled “How to Build a Friendship with Someone You’re Dating”:

Keep physical contact to a minimum. (Got that. You can get sidetracked pretty quickly with the physical stuff — even the constant need to resist temptation. And let’s admit it: There’s always’ temptation.)
Explore new interests and hobbies.
Do activities that are fun. (As opposed to being bored together…)
Be yourself — don’t put on an act just to get the other person to like you. (Easier said then done. There’s always a bit of posturing.)
Ask open-ended questions. (In other words, don’t just talk about yourself.)
Listen to the other person’s heart, not just to the words.
Talk with a godly older couple and discover how they built their friendship.
Read a good book together, and discuss how its content can help you foster your relationship. (Suggestion: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.)
Seek to understand the other person’s viewpoint.

Here’s why I like the list: It made me stop and realize relationships — friendships or falling-in-love relationships — don’t just happen. They take time. And effort. And intention.

In Your Words: What do you think of the “Marry your best friend” maxim? And would you add anything to the list to help someone build a friendship with someone they’re dating?

Don’t forget: Go here to take part my Beach Bag Giveaway! Leave a comment sharing a Best, Worst and/or Funniest Romantic Moment Contest for a chance to win:

a beach bag with a beach towel,
a copy of Wish You Were Here (which USAToday.comcalled a “ fun novel (which) has “beach read” written all over it.”)
a $50 Visa gift card (for you to enjoy a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant with your sweetheart.)

Contest ends June 16th!

In Others’ Words: Twins

Me and my twin sister, Brenda, at 3 1/2 years old

 

“There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins.” ~Josh Billings (1818-1885), American humorist

I am a twin.

I tend to forget that, while I know this — hey, I’ve been a twin all of my life! — lots of people who know me don’t know that I have a twin sister.

Let me state up front that I am a fraternal twin. This means that my sister and I don’t look alike. At. All. I mean, we are both female … and that’s about it. Growing up, we had a difficult time convincing people that we were sisters, much less twins. So we never got to do any of those “let’s switch places and pretend to be each other for the day” kind of things you read about.

A few facts:

I am four minutes older than my twin sister, Brenda. (We didn’t give our poor mother much of a breather, did we?)
We were six weeks premature. And, like the quote says, my parents weren’t prepared for twins. They had an 18-month-old at home — and no idea my mother was pregnant with twins!
I weighed in at about 4 lbs and my sister was less than that. We wore baby doll clothes.
My sister  spent a month in the hospital. When the hospital said my dad had to pay the bill in full before he could take me home ( I went home after a week), the story goes that he told them, ” I can’t pay the bill in full. You can keep them.” And then walked away. Yes, the billing department worked something out.
We were dressed alike when we were younger — same outfits, different colors. I didn’t wear red until I was 30 because that was my sister’s color.

Another favorite twin story is the time we locked my mother out of the house and unloaded all the kitchen cabinets while she banged on the back door for us to let her in. We were toddlers at the time. I don’t recall my brother being involved … and I also don’t recall what happened once my mom got inside.

 

Me & my siblings: My twin sister is standing next to me wearing the purple dress

 

 

In Your Words: Did you guess which one I was in the black and white photo? Any twins reading this blog? I’d love to hear some of your stories! Or if you have a relative that’s a twin or a friend that’s a twin … please join the conversation.

Don’t forget: Go here to take part my Beach Bag Giveaway! Leave a comment sharing a Best, Worst and/or Funniest Romantic Moment Contest for a chance to win:

a beach bag with a beach towel,
a copy of Wish You Were Here (which USAToday.comcalled a “ fun novel (which) has “beach read” written all over it.”)
a $50 Visa gift card (for you to enjoy a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant with your sweetheart.)

Contest ends June 16th!

Let’s Talk Romance: Love Don’t Come Easy

“… The course of true love never did run smooth …” Lysander in a A Midsummer Night’s Dream Act 1, scene 1, 132–140 by William Shakespeare, English playwright

There’s a universal truth that applies to both real-life romances and fictional ones: Falling in love don’t come easy.

Consider a few novels and movies with me:

Pride and Prejudice: Elisabeth and Mr. Darcy spend the better part of the book heartily disliking and misjuding one another. And when Mr. Darcy does declare his love for Elisabeth, he tells her, “In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” But Jane Austen goes on to write, “. . . His sense of her inferiority–of its being a degradation– . . . were dwelt on . . . ” Not wise, Mr. Darcy. No wonder Elisabeth rejected you.
Save the Date: Jenny B. Jones writes a novel where, once again, the hero (Alex) and the heroine (Lucy) dislike each other. Despite that — they need each other. Alex hopes Lucy can help him win votes for his Congressional bid and Alex promises to give Lucy the money she needs for her shelter. But are they using one another — or falling in love?

What about movies?

The Magic of Ordinary Days (one of my all-time favorite movies!): Ray marries Livy, who is pregnant with another man’s child. He tells her later that he married her because he thought it was God’s will. Livy, however, is still in love with the man who abandoned her — and she hates being married to a farmer and living in such an isolated location. Can an arranged marriage become a real marriage?
While You Were Sleeping: Lucy is in love with and engaged to Peter — and then she falls in love with Peter’s brother! (Hey — there’s a familiar plot line!) And Peter’s brother, Jack, falls in love with Lucy. What a mess!

Shakespeare had it right when he wrote “… The course of true love never did run smooth …” But then again, isn’t that half the fun of reading a romance novel or watching a romantic movie — seeing when and how the hero and heroine figure it all out and achieve their happily ever after?

In Your Words: What’s your favorite “love don’t come easy” romance novel or movie? Looking forward to you joining the conversation!

I’m visiting with Kathy Harris over at the Divine Detour blog today — talking about the detours in my life & what kind of song I’d be! I hope you drop by!

In Others’ Words: Best

“Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.” ~Jack Buck (1924-2002), American sportscaster

It’s Monday. If I’m not careful, I can drag the “should ofs” and “could ofs” from last week right into this week.

And that’s a lousy way to start a Monday. Or any day, for that matter.

Last week? D-O-N-E.

This week? Ahead of me. And as far as I know, I have today, tomorrow, and the days after that …

Did everything go according to my expectations last week?

Nope.

I bet if I asked you the same question, you’d give me the same answer. The real question is: What are we gonna do about it? Are we going to make the best of it — or are we going to make the worst of it?

And here’s another thing I just thought of: Why should I concentrate on the times when my expectations were disappointed? Why not laser in on the times when I was surprised by joy? Astounded by love? Taken out at the knees by grace? Bowled over by encouragement?

It’s Monday. Let’s make the best of it, shall we?

In Your Words: Are you a “make the best of it” kind of person? How do you embrace the best instead of focusing on the disappointments? And if you’re thinking, “Well, no, I’m not good at making the best of it,” — do you know someone who is? How do they do it?

In Others’ Words: Right

“Always do the right thing. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.” ~Mark Twain (1835-1910), American author & humorist

I know, I know. We do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.

But I do so like Mark Twain’s take on it: Isn’t it fun to think that by doing the right thing you might please someone? Or astonish someone?

And really, why are we so surprised when someone does the right thing? Is it such a rare commodity nowadays? (And remember, “nowadays” for Mark Twain was during the mid-1800s to early 1900s.)

It’s Friday. I really don’t want to wax philosophical. The end of the week isn’t made for philosophizing. Have a good weekend. Do the right thing. Please someone. Astonish others.

In Your Words: What “right thing” have you done during the past week? Who did you please? Who did you astonish?

Learn more about Daniel Rayner from Wish You Were Here over at author Margaret Daley’s blog today!

Beach Bag Giveaway: Leave a comment here sharing your best, worst or funniest romantic moment for a chance to win:

a beach bag with a beach towel,
a copy of Wish You Were Here (which USAToday.com called a “ fun novel (which) has “beach read” written all over it.”)
a $50 Visa gift card (for you to enjoy a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant with your sweetheart.)

In My Words: Romance & the “Meet Cute”

I blogged about the term  “Meet-Cute” back in October 2011. “Meet-cute” is a phrase from the romantic comedy “The Holiday” describing how the guy and girl meet — and the crazier the better, in many cases.

Some of you reading this blog know my “Meet-Cute” story: How my husband knocked me down … um, swept me off my feet at a karate studio. Author Rachel Hauck recently shared that story on her blog during her “Beautiful Brides” series.

Sometimes in a romance novel or movie, the hero and heroine manage to meet all on their own. Think of Nicky (Gary Grant) and Terry (Deborah Kerr) in “An Affair to Remember”: They meet on a cruise. No help needed. Or Shay Brandenberger and Travis McCoy in “The Accidental Bride” by Denise Hunter: They were high school sweethearts. Probably met walking to class.

Then there are the times when someone helps the hero and heroine meet. In “Gone with the Wind,” Scarlett didn’t invite Rhett Butler to Tara. And in Susan May Warren’s “My Foolish Heart,” a rambunctious dog helped Caleb and Izzy meet.

In my own romance, my husband Rob and I had help with our first meeting. Another instructor, John D., asked Rob (dared, maybe?) to sneak attack me. And Rob agreed.

Hhhhhm. Did I ever thank John for arranging my Meet-Cute? Well, he was one of the groomsmen in our wedding … but sadly, we lost touch with John through the years.

Until … this week.

John tracked Rob and me down via Rachel’s blog post and we’ve been emailing back and forth, catching up on several decades of “how have you beens?” And, yes, I made sure that John remembered he was pivotal in my happily ever after.

In Your Words: Ah, Meet-Cutes. I love ‘em. And I’d love it if you’d share a favorite romantic Meet-Cute — one that required assistance or not, doesn’t matter.  Maybe it’s your story or one from a novel or movie. Join the conversation!

Casey Herringshaw reviews “Wish You Were Here” over at her blog today!

Wish You Were Here Litfuse Blog Tour: And the winner is …

The first Wish You Were Here sighting: Susan May Warren, me, & Rachel Hauck

My debut novel, Wish You Were Here, became a “real” book just over a month ago. I was with a group of close writing friends when best-selling author Rachel Hauck found the first official copy of WYWH at a Charleston, South Carolina Barnes and Noble.

I appreciate each reviewer who participated in the Litfuse blog tour for WYWH, and hope you take the time to read their thoughts about the book. I especially enjoyed it when blogger Michelle Sutton said WYWH “… was deep and at the same time it made me laugh out loud numerous times!” and that Amanda said WYWH “packs a punch and is loaded with wisdom.”

I had an overwhelming response to the iPad giveaway! The winner of the iPad2, a signed copy of Wish You Were Here, and a $15 iTunes gift card is:

Danielle Day

Thank you to everyone who participated in the giveaway! I had so much fun celebrating with y’all, I decided to keep the celebration going with another giveaway.

Leave a comment on my blog with your best, worst, or funniest romantic moment for a chance to win:

a beach bag with a beach towel,
a copy of Wish You Were Here (which USAToday.com called a “ fun novel (which) has “beach read” written all over it.”)
a $50 Visa gift card (for you to enjoy a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant with your sweetheart.)

I’m visiting over at Seekerville today, talking about The Writing Life: What’s It All About. I hope you drop by and join the conversation.

In My Words: The Power of a Kiss

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial one in any love story.”  ~Emil Ludwig (1881-1948), German author

My debut novel, Wish You Were Here, hangs on the question: Can the wrong kiss lead to Mr. Right?

Within the first 10 pages of the book, there’s an “oh no, we didn’t!” kiss between Allison, the bride-to-be, and Daniel, who just happens to be her fiance’s brother.

Their kiss — a mere moment in time — is enough to upend Allison’s longed for happily ever after. With that one kiss, life as she imagined it ends. The question is: Will Allison be able to find happy ever after again?

Can I be honest with you? When I first condensed Wish You Were Here down to the “Can the wrong kiss lead to Mr. Right?” question, I thought: This is one shallow book.

At the time, I was attending author Susan May Warren’s first ever pitch workshop (now called the Scrimmage). I sat and listened to other writers say what their books were about — and everyone else’s book seemed so much more meaningful than a book about a kiss gone awry.

It took me a while to realize the power of a kiss.

That kiss between Allison and Daniel? It was so much more than an “uh-oh” moment written to create tension or to surprise my readers.

Allison and Daniel’s kiss was a mistake.

I know what it’s like to make mistakes … and to be overwhelmed with “How could I have done that?” thoughts afterward. My faith also tells me that God can bring good out of my mistakes — that he can redeem them. But do I truly believe that? Or do I live like I am the sum total of my mistakes — and nothing more?

That’s the deeper question my characters wrestle with in Wish You Were Here. Yes, it’s an inspirational contemporary romance. Yes, there’s laughter (and llamas). But woven within the romance and the humor and the wrong kiss (and the right ones), there’s the question: Are mistakes irredeemable?

In Your Words: Do you believe there’s power in a kiss? Have you seen God bring good out of your mistakes?