Beth K. Vogt's Blog, page 76

In Others’ Words: Do You Hear What I Hear?

I wouldn’t say I never listen.

But there have been times when I haven’t listened. Sometimes it was a case of tuning someone out — yes, deliberately — because I didn’t want to hear what was being said. Sometimes it was exhaustion, pure and simple. And sometimes I didn’t realize my attention had wandered until something — a question maybe, or a long pause — pulled me back into the conversation.

Awkward.

The older I get, the more I value listening. Yes, being listened to — but even more, I want to hear what people are saying. I want to be present. I don’t want to be a long-winded, one-sided conversation.

For me, listening completely means I turn my back to my computer. Or I silence my iPhone or TV. Or I stop talking — plain and simple.

In Your Words: How do you ensure that you listen completely?

“Most People Never Listen.” Excuse me, what did you say? Click to Tweet

Are you listening completely? Click to Tweet 

 

 

In Others’ Words: Everything … or Nothing (& Contest Winner!)

I’m all for going for the win. For not giving up. For try, try, trying again.

But I’ve learned a hard lesson — a life lesson that’s shaped me even as it broke me — that all the “try” in the universe doesn’t always get you what you want. Or who you want.

And sometimes, along the way, you lose … yourself.

The great American dream of “having it all” can be a heart-wrenching myth.

Maybe we’re not meant to have it all this side of eternity. Maybe life is more about making choices than straddling virtual fences and trying to hang on to that elusive everything. And if a desire or dream or got-to-have-it longing is costing you every last ounce of you — maybe, just maybe — the price is too high.

Sometimes the answer is no.

And you walk away with tears in your eyes. A shattered heart.

But you still have something left: you.

And you are highly valuable.

In Your Words: When have you realized it was time to stop holding out for a yes and accept a no? How did you let go?

The winner of the Rafflecopter Celebrating Book Clubs, Readers & Romance Giveaway is: Barbara Anne Waite! 

Are you holding out for everything – and gaining nothing? Click to Tweet

Straddling virtual fences & grasping the elusive everything Click to Tweet 

Were you the winner of author Beth K. Vogt’s Celebrating Book Clubs, Readers & Romance Rafflecopter Giveaway? Click to Tweet 

In Others’ Words: Compassion

Let’s end the week with a bit of hope, shall we?

And there is an abundance of hope in Lisa Harper’s statement. Compassion encompassing mistakes … even more, Christ’s miraculous compassion obliterating my worst mistake.

So much hope. How can I grasp it?

Sometimes I forget this unfathomable truth. I forget the amazing should-bring-me-to-my-knees reality that I am forgiven. That I don’t have to live with my mistakes. I don’t have to live believing I am some sort of mistake.

When you read a truth like that — Christ’s compassion is greater than my worst mistake — maybe you’re tempted to drag that worst mistake out into the open and say, “Really? Greater than this?!”

But we’re not supposed to focus on our mistake. No and no and no. We’re supposed to focus on Christ’s compassion.

What a great way to end the week. Even better, what a great way to live each day: immersing ourselves in God’s compassion.

In Your Words: It’s not about your mistakes. It’s about his compassion. When have you been able to embrace Christ compassion most freely?

 

Are you focusing on your mistake or on Christ’s compassion? Click to Tweet 

The hope of Christ’s compassion Click to Tweet

 

In Others’ Words: Shortcuts

We all are looking for success of one type or another.

Maybe you’re focused on personal success, becoming a better version of yourself in some way. Run faster. Think smarter. Live kinder.

Or maybe now is all about professional success. Achieving your dream job. Or a promotion. Or recognition of some sort that says “You’ve done it” — whatever laudatory “it” you’re pursuing in your career field.

And then, of course, there’s relational success — perhaps the most challenging of all pursuits. Lasting love. Healing of a broken relationship. Seeking to understand — or to be understood.

Striving for success is a virtual journey of sorts, one that requires effort. And change. And time.

There are days I feel like the kid stuck in the back seat of the car, watching the road signs pass by. You know, the one who keeps asking her parents, “Are we there yet?” And I keep hearing, “No. Not yet.”

There are no detours — no shortcuts — to success. I just have to do the work. Some days that’s easier than others (the days I see actual forward motion or some sort of tangible result of my efforts). Most days, though, I’m on a journey with no shortcuts. And the hardest part is staying the course and doing the work.

In Your Words: What’s the journey to success look like for you? Ever take any shortcuts or detours? How’d that work out for you?

Are we there yet? Success and Shortcuts Click to Tweet

The Myth of Shortcuts Click to Tweet

Ends 8/31/13 GIVEAWAY: Celebrating Book Clubs, Readers & Romance Click to Tweet  

In Others’ Words: Sometimes

You ever have a week that felt like seven Mondays in a row? Or are you staring down a lo-o-o-ng Monday?

Was last week filled to the brim with frustration … or discouragement … or sadness? And now it’s the beginning of a new week and, oh look! you’re still frustrated or discouraged or sad.

Sometimes that’s just how the days roll. It’s not one huge, heartbreaking event. Nope. It’s the daily-ness. The busy-ness. The unrelenting sadness.

Sometimes you just have to take a nap and get over it.

Really.

Forget the trying and the doing and the being and allow yourself to rest.

Rest.

Jesus invited weary people to rest (Matthew 11:28). The Message  says to “Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.”

Maybe, just maybe, choosing to find time to rest today would be the wisest decision you make.

In Your Words: I find naps restful. What does rest look like to you? How would you fill in the sentence: Sometimes you just need to ___________________ and get over it.

Where does rest fit into your day? Click to Tweet

Have you learned the unforced rhythms of grace? Click to Tweet 

Read the first chapter of Catch a Falling Star by Beth K. Vogt!  Click to Tweet

In Others’ Words: Attitude

I wonder what kinds of attitudes I’ve left strewn around this past week? Little bits of me, of remembrances … for better, for worse.

(Of course, I’m prepping this blog post early, with all sorts of good intentions … but I’ll reread it at the end of the week, with perspective and conviction.)

But I digress. (And let’s admit it: Sometimes the most interesting parts of a conversation are when we digress.)

Did it again, didn’t I?

Back to attitudes and how people will remember us: My husband Rob and I were walking and talking early one morning and he said, “People will remember your attitude.”

Wise man, my husband.

Yes, I know sometimes we never get past first impressions. Dare we blame that on our attitudes? And when we do experience the blessing of relationships, attitudes abound, for better and for worse.

We flavor our memories, if you will, with our attitudes.

I could let this thought drag me down, but today I choose to let this thought motivate me to choose my attitude more carefully. After all, I’m making a memory.

In Your Words: When has someone’s attitude influenced your memory of them — for better or for worse? 

The Power of Attitude Click to Tweet

I’ll Remember You — But Why? Click To Tweet

Entire “When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan” blog series archived Click to Tweet

In Others’ Words: Progress

Sometimes progress is hard.

It’s tears.

And throwing myself on the floor in a virtual old-fashioned wail of a temper tantrum.

And sitting in silence because there … are … no … words.

And venting the emotion that won’t be exhausted no matter how much I hash it out. Again and again and again.

But sometimes, oh hallelujah! Laughter is progress.

Realizing I’m no longer who I was. Realizing God was working in me — and loving me — when I was who I was back then.

Realizing letting go … and saying no … and believing I’m right no matter what someone else might be thinking … can be the very best choice.

Laughter is my favorite sound … but I love it even more now that I embrace it as a sign of progress.

In Your Words: When has laughter meant you were moving forward? 

When Laughter is More Click to Tweet

It’s Wednesday: Making progress this week? Click to Tweet

GIVEAWAY: Celebrating Book Clubs, Readers & Romance Click to Tweet 

In Others’ Words: Error

This quote by author George Saunders came from a college commencement speech he delivered at Syracuse University this past May. When I read Saunder’s speech, posted in the New York Times, I stumbled into this quote — and knew I’d be posting it on this blog.

Erring in the direction of kindness.

A beautiful thought, that.

At the time, I didn’t realize believers were debating the error of Saunder’s ways. Read about it if you want … this blog isn’t a forum for debates. It’s a place for conversation. You. Me. Talking about our lives. Our faith. Yes, even our doubts and struggles, because God’s in all that too.

But back to erring in the direction of kindness.

Why not err toward kindness?

Jesus did … when he told the woman caught in adultery “Neither do I condemn you” — and yes, I’m not forgetting that he also told her to stop sinning. (John 8:1-11)

Err toward kindness.

Jesus did … when he told a tax collector — of all people! — “I’d like to have dinner with you — at your house.” (Matthew 9:9-13)

Err toward kindness.

Jesus did … when, even in the very act of sacrificing his life for us on a rough-hewn wooden cross, he offered grace and mercy to a thief condemned to die on a cross next to him. (Luke 23:42-43)

In Your Words: When has someone’s kindness reflected God to you?  

The “Error” of Kindness Click to Tweet

How Kindness Reflects God Click to Tweet 

Read the first chapter of Catch a Falling Star by Beth K. Vogt!  Click to Tweet

 

In Others’ Words: Reflect

My friend, author Edie Melson, stopped me in my mental tracks this weekend.

In a post titled “Only Still Water Reflects,” posted this past Sunday on her blog The Write Conversation, Edie wrote of the busy-ness of life, and how a recent seven-day vacation at the beach helped her realize that only by slowing down, by living in God’s rhythm, can she  truly reflect His image to the world.

Life has been oh-so-busy for me of late. None of the busy-ness is bad. I’m enjoying my family, which includes a precious new granddaughter. I’m continuing to live my writing dream, having just sent another round of edits for book #3, Somebody Like You, back to my publisher. I’m walking in honesty in a way I never have before … and learning what that means as each day dawns.

And yet … in the doing of all this, I am losing track of the being. I am living not by God’s rhythm, but by some fast-paced — discordant — rhythm that blurs God’s image in my life.

And I want it to change.

It’s not a question of “what’s wrong?” No. It’s a question of “what now?”

And my answer is … I don’t know.

I’ve made one small change. When I wake up in the middle of the night — and this happens frequently — I will take those few serene moments and pray … read the Word. Ponder a favorite passage.

Me. God. And a middle of the night meeting. And maybe, after I go back to sleep and wake up in the morning, I’ll see His image more clearly in my life.

In Your Words: How’s the rhythm of your life? 

How’s the rhythm of your life? Click to Tweet 

Is busy-ness blurring your reflection? Click to Tweet 

Celebrating Book Clubs, Readers & Romance Click to Tweet 

In Others’ Words: Remain

Circumstances are powerful.

For all their changeability, circumstances have one steadfast quality: They can change me. 

I can start the day off feeling settled, self-assured, at peace with myself and others.

And then circumstances do an about-face … or maybe they do a complete end-over-end. And suddenly that oh-so-confident me has left the building.

The whole “Who am I?” question should never be rooted in the happenings or mishaps of any given 24 hour period. And I should never, ever, ever let someone else answer the “Who am I?” question for me.

I need to know who I am at the beginning of each day … and remain who I am throughout the day, all the way until I lay my head on my pillow and say, “Good night, Lord. I’m glad you’re staying up. I’m done in.”

I like me … and when I don’t, I’m probably tired or else I’ve fallen prey to comparing myself to someone else. (Dangerous trap, that.)

I know who I am … and when I forget, it’s because I’ve let someone else answer the question for me.

I know whose I am … and it was in embracing that truth that I learned to hold my ground, no matter what the circumstances.

In Your Words: What helps you remain yourself, no matter what the circumstances? 

Do you know who you are? Click to Tweet

How do you remain yourself no matter what the circumstances? Click to Tweet 

Read the first chapter of Catch a Falling Star by Beth K. Vogt! Click to Tweet