Beth K. Vogt's Blog, page 61

In Others’ Words: Encountering Defeat

 

One of these days I’m going to catalogue my quotes and tally how many posts I’ve written that deal with facing — and overcomng — defeat.

Quite a few, I’m thinking.

Sometimes when I find a quote about overcoming defeat and then I blog about it, I’m writing myself out of a funk. And then there are times I’m standing firm, walking strong and confident. But I figure someone else may need a reminder to push past whatever defeat they’re staring down.

Move on past the disappointment. The no. The emotional roadblock. The naysayer. Figure a way around, under, over, through the defeat.

I’m about to ask myself a question and you are invited to listen in:

Me: Ever experienced defeat?

Me: Oh yeah. You want an alphabetical list or a chronological list?

Me: No list needed.

Me: How about the time a book I … um, we … were passionate about got all the way to pub board and then one person — one person — said no. And that was the end of that. How about the time I tried to talk out a difficulty with a friend and she stonewalled me? How about when I did everything I could to avoid back surgery … and that became my only option to try and eradicate the pain? 

Me: That last one was a defeat and a success.

Me: Point taken.

(I’ll stop talking to myself now.)

I’m not going to continuing discussing my defeats. The point is: I’m still here. I’m still writing — and I’m published. No, not that one book I mentioned — and yes, I’m still passionate about the topic. And I’m still making and sustaining friendships. And after crying because I was backed into a virtual corner with surgery the only option for relief of my back pain … well, now I thank God surgery was an option.

In Your Words: I don’t even have to ask if you’ve faced defeats. if you’re living on planet Earth, defeat has chased you down — and caught you. The question for today is: How have you overcome it? I’d love to hear how you’ve refused to be defeated.

Encountering Defeats but Not Defeated #lifequotes #hope
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How do you push past defeat? #lifequotes #hope
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In Others’ Words: Direction and Focus

I select a quote for various reasons. A quote may:

make me laugh.
make me pause and realize, “Now there’s a new way to think about (fill in the blank).”
challenge my “I’ve got this all figured out” preconceived idea.
give me some practical ways to approach life.

 

Today’s quote is a bit of practical wisdom that, if heeded, would lead to more forward motion and less tripping over my verbal missteps. Each time I read it, I found myself nodding my head and thinking, “Got that right.”

And then I stopped and thought: But where do I direct my anger? Problems or people? Where do I focus my energies? Answers or excuses?

Because if I’m thinking “Got that right!” then the question is: Am I doing it right? Or am I fooling myself?

Last week I was angry about a certain situation. I stewed about it mentally — and yes, when I talked about it (and I did), I named the names of those who I held responsible for the situation. Guess what? Directing my anger at these people didn’t improve my attitude or what was going on at all.

But when I sat down with a trusted advisor and asked for counsel — when I stopped venting and listened — then, and only then did I start seeing a way to possibly change what was happening. Am I guaranteed a positive outcome? No. But one thing is certain: grumbling fueled by anger will get me nothing — except further discontent.

In Your Words: How do you determine your focus when anger trips you up? Any tips for avoiding excuses when what you really need is answers?

 

Direction and Focus: How It Makes a Difference #lifequotes
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Anger and Excuses vs. Direction and Focus #lifequotes
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In Others’ Words: On the dotted line

 I keep a basket on one of the shelves in my office closet. In that basket I keep cards I’ve received from friends or readers or other writers. Words of encouragement that have blessed me, sometimes at just the right moment, when doubt pressed in on my dream or my sense of self. People took the time to say something to me … and to sign it … and I’ve kept the cards because their words made a difference.

The power of words — it’s talked of, written about … and yet, the way our words can influence someone for good or bad can be so quickly forgotten.

But what if I had to write down everything I said today? And then sign my name on that document in a “Yes, I said all of this today. I meant every single word I spoke.”

That act would give me pause.

The words I spoke — every single one of them — would be weightier because they would be scripted in black and white, ink-bled onto paper, in a for better or for worse kind of way.

No disappearing into silence, supposedly forgotten.

The reality is, even when the words I speak are over and done with, the echoes of them — be they blessing or curse — linger in someone’s heart and mind. Words of encouragement may fuel someone for the rest of the day. Or the week. Or even linger on into years. Words dipped in anger or bitterness or unkindness? Those too can shape a person’s day — or their life.

In Your Words: If you were asked to sign a written transcript of all you said yesterday, what portions you would want to mark out with a black Sharpie? What parts would you want to highlight? Who can you bless today, “writing” a word of encouragement on their heart?

Sign on the Dotted Line: The Weight of Our Words #lifequotes
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Hearing the Echo of Our Words #lifequotes
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In Others’ Word: The Kindness of Truth

I’ve come back to this quote time and time again. Read Harriet Beecher Stowe’s words so many times that I’ve lost count. And then I always close down the blog post without writing a single word.

I’m conflicted about this idea of truth being kind. And I’m well aware of the admonition to speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15 NIV)

You have to understand that a while ago I risked a lot to speak the truth as kindly as I could.  With the hopes that relationships would be, for once, honest. I’d weighed my words, rewritten my words, for weeks. My hope? Truth. Honesty. Relationship.

Didn’t happen.

My efforts at speaking truth were a complete and utter fail. And I don’t think anyone involved would declare my actions a kindness — despite all my preparations and prayers and hopes and dreams.

So here I am on this side of the kindess of truth … leaving my words and my intentions and my longings in God’s hands. Trusting that he is working even when I see nothing happening.

Because God is kind.

God is truth.

And God is the end of all things.

I’ve done all I can … and he’s not done yet.

In Your Words: When has the truth been kind to you? What are your thoughts on Harriet Beecher Stowe’s words about truth being a kindness?

When Truth is a Kindness #lifequotes #truth
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When Has the #Truth Been Kind to You? #lifequotes
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In Others’ Words: Behave Yourself

I’m writing this blog post early.

Come Friday — today — I’ll be in Wichita, Kansas, visiting my “safe harbor” friend, Fran. Technically, I’m going to meet with Fran’s book club to discuss Somebody Like You, my lastest novel. But after that, well, it’s all about time with Fran.

I’ve known Fran for decades. Yes, decades. And I have so many memories where she’s front and center. But there’s one that defines Fran … it’s my “remembering” memory of her, if you will.

Both our families were stationed in Florida, thanks to Uncle Sam since both our husbands were in the air force. I was going through some tough times — dealing with my “stuff,” as I like to generalize it. I was having a particularly rough day and ended up leaving my husband at home with our three kiddos. Kind of an impromptu — and temporary — running away from home.

But in our small town of Niceville (yes, Niceville), there wasn’t any place to run. McDonald’s? No, thank you. Walk the aisles of K-Mart? Again, no thank you. I drove up and down the streets for quite a while until this strong urge started tugging me to Fran’s house. Not knowing why, I headed that way. When I pulled into her cul de sac, there was Fran, standing in her doorway, as if she was waiting for me. Watching for me.

Because she was.

My husband had called to tell her that I was having a rough day. And Fran, being Fran, had been praying for me. And one of her prayers was that I would come to her home so that she could encourage and comfort me.

And that’s why Fran is my “safe harbor” friend.

Fran didn’t pray for me, wait for me, to be remembered. But that day — and her compassion for me — will always be a treasured “I remember Fran” memory.

In Your Words: Did today’s quote make you pause and think? Maybe remember someone whose actions changed your life — so that you will always remember them? Or maybe you thought about your own actions and how they might make an indelible impression on someone else today. I’d love for you to join the conversation and share a memory of someone who touched your life in an unforgettable way.

The #1 Reason to Behave Yourself #lifequotes #DrSeuss
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When Our Actions Create Memories #lifequotes #DrSeuss
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In Others’ Words: The Best Thing About the Future

I’ve heard the “One day at a time” phrase until it’s so worn down it’s easily ignored.

Abraham Lincoln’s take on the “One day” adage made me stop and think. All those days? They add up to the future. Yep, that’s true.

But I can only take ‘em — I can only live them — one at a time.

The times I get tripped up by worry and fear? When I’ve grabbed fistfuls of those days-in-the-future and tried to answer all the what-ifs.

There’s no doing that.

And if I stop long enough, and think like honest Abe, I’d realize the best thing about the future is the singleness of its approach.

One day at a time.

The only thing I can do about tomorrow? The things I am doing today. The choices I am making today.

In Your Words: When you read or hear the word “future,” how do you feel? Do you think, “Bring it on! I can’t wait to run and meet what’s ’round the bend!” Or do you dread tomorrow — or the slew of tomorrows you’re imagining? How do your prepare for the future?

What's the Best Thing About the Future? #lifequotes  #AbrahamLincoln
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The One Thing I Can Do About Tomorrow #lifequotes
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In Others’ Words: Brokenhearted

 

So my daughter, CJ, has been doing the graphics for my quotes the past six weeks or so. I find the photos, I find the quotes … and she puts the two together for me in a creative way. She enjoys being creative and she’s good at it. And letting her combine the quote and the graphic frees up my time and was a tremendous help when I was on deadline.

As I gave her the information for today’s post, she said, “You’ve used this quote already, Mom.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve used this quote already — To love is to be vulnerable.”

Okay then. My reply was something like “Well, I haven’t used the entire quote yet, so we’re going with it.”

Ahem.

My favorite line of the entire quote? Love anything and your heart will be wrung and quite possibly broken. And to that:  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. 

I still remember my family huddling around our golden lab, Midas, as we struggled to say goodbye to him. The tears we shed. The sobs that filled the room once he was gone. And that was two and a half years ago.

We love our pets fiercely.

We love people fiercely too. With abandon. Hearts become entangled … and hurt. Because what C.S. Lewsi says is true: While love is sometimes a many splendored thing, it is also a powerful force … a choice that leaves us open to hurt. To betrayal. To loss.

But if I had to choose a safe, dark casket or a life fully available to love well, I’d accept that love is risky business. And I’d risk.

In Your Words: What’s your favorite line from C.S. Lewis’s quote about love? And if you had to fill in the blank, how would you finish the sentence “To love is to be _______________?”

 

Is love worth a broken heart? #lifequotes #CSLewis
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Love anything ... and your heart will be wrung and possibly be broken. #lifequotes #risk
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LAST DAY TO ENTER THE I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY!

THE I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY ENDS TONIGHT AT MIDNIGHT! Click on the image or enter here for a chance to win one of the three sets of three books from authors Deborah Raney, Becky Wade, and Beth Vogt (me!). The books: Silver Bells, Undeniably Yours, and Catch a Falling Star, are all finalists in the 2014 ACFW Carol Awards romance category.

LAST DAY TO ENTER the I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY: Win books from authors @bethvogt @beckywadewriter...
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In Others’ Words: The Comfort of Love

 

Sometimes loving someone means not saying anything.

Sometimes silence is sacrificial … you give up all your right answers for the sake of someone else’s need to be valued. You choose not to stifle their pain with words, words, and more words.

Love should always be safe. When you tell someone you love them, in a very real sense you are telling them, “You can trust me. With me, you are safe.”

But in the real world, that’s not how it goes. It’s true, as the song says, that you always hurt the one you love.

But here’s the thing: You can change. You can learn to be safe. Safer than you were before. You can learn to be trustworthy. You can learn to love someone better than you did today.

And sometimes the best kind of love — from a friend or a spouse or a family member — is the kind that does nothing more than sit down beside you. Allow you to be where you are at that moment. And, in the silence, you know you are not alone.

In Your Words: We’ve been talking about romance this week, looking at quotes from authors Deborah Raney’s and Becky Wade’s books — and now mine. There are many facets to romance, and one of those facets is friendship — caring that goes beyond the “I’m falling in love with you” feeling. So tell me, where does friendship fit in romance? At the beginning? The middle? Before you fall in love? Or somewhere along the way? And here’s another question for you: How does love equal safety?

Love should always be safe #lifquotes #iheartromance
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The comfort of love #lifequotes #iheartromance
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ENTER THE I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY!

THE I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY runs from August 18 – August 25 at midnight. Click on the image or enter here for a chance to win one of the three sets of three books from authors Deborah Raney, Becky Wade, and Beth Vogt (me!). The books: Silver Bells, Undeniably Yours, and Catch a Falling Star, are all finalists in the 2014 ACFW Carol Awards romance category.

I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY: 3 Winners/3 books from authors @bethvogt beckywadewriter @authordebraney...
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In Others’ Words: So This Is Love (and giveaway)

There’s so much I love about this quote from author Becky Wade’s novel, Undeniably Yours. (And yes, there is a cowboy in the story. His name is Bo.)

But I digress. Back to the quote.

At some point, we are all are knocked off kilter by love. Love for another person. Love for our country. Love for a family pet — or maybe an abandoned animal in need of a home. Love for God, as we grapple with who he is and what he’s done for us — after first wrestling with the question do we believe that he is?

People do write books about love (me, included). And people write songs about love. And those books and songs help us understand … comprehend … the emotion that overtakes us. And changes us.

And another part of the quote I like? The “God help him” phrase. Because when it comes to loving well … loving at all … I’ve needed God’s help so, so many times.

In Your Words: When has love knocked you off kilter? And if you had to fill in the sentence: So this is love: ______________________________” — how would you finish it? 

When has #love knocked you off-kilter? #lifequotes @beckwadewriter
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So this is #love #lifquotes @beckwadewriter
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ENTER THE I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY!

THE I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY runs from August 18 – August 25 at midnight. Click on the image or enter here for a chance to win one of the three sets of three books from authors Deborah Raney, Becky Wade, and Beth Vogt (me!). The books: Silver Bells, Undeniably Yours, and Catch a Falling Star, are all finalists in the 2014 ACFW Carol Awards romance category.

I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY: 3 Winners/3 books each from authors @bethvogt @beckywadewriter...
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In Others’ Words: First Love

I’m having fun here this week — not that I don’t have fun every week.

But I’m celebrating the upcoming ACFW Carol Awards with two of my author friends: Deb Raney and Becky Wade. It just so happens that the three of us are finalists in the contemporary romance category. And we’re launching a week-long I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY where three different winners can win a trio of our books. (More about the giveaway below)

Today’s quote is from Silver Bells, Deborah’s novel that finaled in the ACFW Carol Awards. The words captured me because they speak of first love.

Ah, first love. That one-of-a-kind memory of someone who stole your heart in a way no one else ever will because they were the first. The first person you fell in love with. The first person you gave your heart to … and really, can that first love ever be recanted? And would you want to?

We’re so trusting, so brave with our first loves — so all in. We hold nothing back because our hearts haven’t been wounded yet and we still think happily ever after comes without a cost, without the shedding of tears, without loss.

Such is the beauty — the joy — of first love. We’re fearless because we don’t yet know what we have to be afraid of. We don’t know the full risk of loving another person — or of asking another person to love us in return.

And sometimes first loves become our happy endings. And sometimes they help us become who we need to be to discover our happy endings. But always, always, the memories of first loves linger in our minds, and in our hearts — the sweet and the bitter — to be remembered every now and again.

In Your Words: When you think of first love, what words come to mind? What lessons did you learn from your first love? Was your first love your happy ever after — or did it help you discover who you needed to be on your way to your happy ever after? 

The Fearlessness of First Love #lifequotes @authordebraney
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Do You Remember Your First Love? #lifequotes @authordebraney
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ENTER THE I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY!

THE I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY runs from August 18 – August 25 at midnight. Click on the image or enter here for a chance to win one of the three sets of three books from authors Deborah Raney, Becky Wade, and Beth Vogt (me!). The books: Silver Bells, Undeniably Yours, and Catch a Falling Star, are all finalists in the 2014 ACFW Carol Awards romance category.

I ♡ ROMANCE GIVEAWAY: 3 winners/3 books from authors @bethvogt @beckywadewriter @authordebraney...
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