Jess Macallan's Blog, page 3

The Death of My Routine

The day starts as any other. Get the kids off to school and hubby off to work. Write out a lengthy to-do list while juggling football practice and homework, with the hopes of actually getting it all done. Eat dinner, then herd the kids to the bath. Don't forget to schedule doctor's appointments and oops...I'll get to the yard work tomorrow. It's a regular routine. One repeated every week day. On the weekends, subtract school and appointments, and add football games, more chores, and family events. It's only one variation of a day in the life of a busy adult. I'm sure many of you can relate. We all have our busy days, our seemingly never-ending activities.

They quickly become routines, and even typing that word makes me cringe. For me, it's not the busy days that are awful. It's not the day that ends when the kids are in bed, the cleaning is done, the animals are fed, and the house is quiet. Although I do collapse into bed, exhausted.

Even that's not too bad.

The worst day I can imagine is unspectacular because it's routine. It's the day my needs fall by the wayside. No, I don't mean my desire for a pedicure and a vacation. I'm talking about the day I don't follow my passion and feed my soul. It's the day I made excuses and complained about a lack of time because I had so many tasks to do. I didn't make time to challenge myself and acknowledge the extraordinary chaos in my head (otherwise known as my creativity and muse).

My regular routine makes it easy for that nightmare of a day to come to fruition--the day my pen stays on the desk, untouched. My characters are forced to the back of my mind while I cook dinner and play chauffeur. I'm so focused on the inconsequential every day tasks--yes, I group dishes, laundry and such in this category--I forget what I love. The words sit idle and my story remains untold because I'm operating on auto-pilot.

I know better. I occasionally coach people to do the exact opposite of what I'm guilty of. It's all too easy to become stuck in a rut. We simply exist, go through the motions. I'd rather reach too high, fall hard, pick myself up, then eventually achieve. I want to learn, explore, taste, dance and try every creative endeavor that interests me. Especially writing. Dishes and laundry? Not so much.

I've been working hard to create ample time to write and be creative. It's not easy. I'm a mom first. My family's well-being is important to me. Yet so is mine. It's a constant battle to balance it all. Thankfully, I love a good challenge. I'm happy to go to war with my routine. It's great practice for my world domination plans, which have also been sitting on the back burner for too long... *grins*

What do you to get out of a rut?

My Crazy Monday

Happy Monday! Wait...has it been happy?

I'd say it's been a typical Monday at our house, which means it's been bizarre. My 8 year old stayed home from school with a temperature and sore throat. A few hours into our day he managed to run into the wall. He's now sporting a goose egg between his eyes, adding a headache to his list of symptoms. I have no idea how he did this. He claims he was crawling up the stairs, and ran into the wall. He must have been crawling pretty fast. It looks like he's trying to grow a unicorn horn.

After I got him settled with Mr. Happy (don't laugh--it's the name that came with the special ice pack), I sat in my favorite chair to take a breath. I admit I needed to laugh without him watching, because honestly, he ran into the wall. It was funny. But I digress... As I was catching my breath, I looked out the window and saw one of our hens mounting another hen. Yes, at this happy little farm, we raise our hens to explore life to the fullest. Actually, our rooster was literally henpecked, so he's chillin' in a separate pen while he heals. It's not the first time. We have him wrapped up in purple vet wrap and I've affectionately dubbed him the Henpecked Purple Cock. (This is the consequence of being a romance writer and living on a farm). The poor guy doesn't know that while the roo's away, the hens will play. Who knew the barnyard was so full of drama?

And in other Monday news, my husband has a few of his co-workers convinced he's the cover model on Stone Cold Seduction. I might be a bit biased, but my husband really is that buff. However, he's not the hot dude on the cover. Although now I'm giving serious consideration to making him gargoyle wings for Halloween...

How was your Monday?

Bookstore Confessions

This is a new feature I'll be doing regularly. I frequent a couple bookstores on a weekly basis--for writing, reading, coffee and general people watching. I've seen some crazy stuff. And crazier people . I thought it would be fun to chronicle some of the most hilarious or horrible things I've seen. The good stuff doesn't all happen in the books! I've enlisted the help of a few bookstore employees. I'm keeping their identities a secret to protect the innocent (and the guilty). These men and women are awesome, intelligent and impressively patient to put up with readers and writers behaving badly. *Sigh* Sadly, it happens.

This week, I'll start things off with my observations and a few guidelines. Nothing beats a trip to your local brick and mortar store. I'm a book store junkie. If you are too, or know someone who is, here are a few handy tips to assist you with the perfect book buying experience (all taken from real experiences):
Don't pitch your partially finished, unedited manuscript to the manager at your local bookstore. They sell books. They won't pimp yours. Remember, you're there to buy or browse, not sell. Besides, if you think this is a great place to sell your book, your book is probably nowhere near ready for publication. Head on over to the writing section, and pick up a few books for aspiring writers while you're there.
Do act appropriately. For example, if you're interested in a book about adults who stray from their marriage, that's your business. Please don't ask the staff if they would consider cheating on their significant other, or who they'd consider as potential cheating material. No really.

Don't piss off the baristas. This includes ordering a latte that no one has ever heard of just to sound important. If you ask for a white chocolate mocha without chocolate, but with a dash of caramel syrup, no foam, and make it a cappuccino it's poor form. And ridiculous. If you then come back to complain that the temperature of your latte was supposed to be 165 degrees, not 167, you look doubly foolish. Even other customers want to bean you in the head by this point.

Do be respectful of the other bookstore patrons. It's great that you were on the local news station because you witnessed a burglary and called 911. But if you have a conversation loud enough that people two counties over can hear it, we're not impressed, only annoyed. Likewise for your amazing interview skills with potential wedding photographers, and how you discovered your husband was cheating. And along those lines...

Do bring your iPod and headphones if you plan to sit and read or write. Some conversations are fascinating, but many are better left unheard.

And finally...

Don't come in and sit to read a "new" book while drinking coffee a few days in a row. I'll admit, I think it's awesome a retired man would make such an effort to read a Nora Roberts book, but that's what libraries are for. The purchase of a cup of coffee doesn't give you the right to read a book without purchase. From start to finish. Three days in a row.

So there you have it. My first list of helpful hints for a wonderful bookstore experience. What's your worst/best bookstore story?

Multiple Personalities

Okay, I admit it--I have multiple personalities. Writing personalities, that is. It's not much of a confession. I'm pretty open about writing in different genres. Only recently has it become an issue, however. It requires me to shift gears for more than simple head hopping (switching from character to character). I have to stop and think about who my reader will be, and what their expectations are. I'm writing for characters of all ages and backgrounds while working on urban fantasy and middle grade, and even being a yoga teacher (planning a class is a lot like writing a script). It's easier said than done.
Here are the issues I'm currently running into:
 I'm not present during conversations because all I can think about is how your dialogue might look if I wrote it down. How I might tweak it, punctuate it, and fix the grammar. Don't worry, I'm not really going to use it. Unless you say something interesting or off the wall, and then it's fair game.
 I watch and listen to as many kids' conversations as I can. For the life of me, I cannot figure out the path their minds take. It's equally fascinating and frustrating. My 9 year old says the craziest things some times. She's currently fascinated with the...er..actions of our rooster with the hens. Out of the blue, she'll discuss the mechanics of it in a very matter of fact way, while I try to figure out if this is where I talk about bees, since she's already covering the birds.
 I forget--and I mean completely forget--to cook dinner, at least 4 nights a week. I've started using my crock pot to circumvent this issue, because my poor kids have done "snacky dinner" too many times now. It quickly loses it's appeal. Who knew you could get sick of PB&J or a fridge free for all?
 The employees at the bookstore I frequent think I'm nuts because I'll buy a few middle grade books, a few steamy romances, and one or two urban fantasy. I'm happy to admit they're all for me, but I can see why people would get confused. The Strange Case of Origami Yoda isn't great company for The Very Virile Viking.
*Note* I highly recommend both of these books. Origami Yoda is my new favorite character, and Sandra Hill, author of the viking series, is hilarious.
Sometimes when I'm writing or reading about paranormal characters, I get the urge to put them through a few rounds of sun salutations. Only because it might relax them a bit. Seriously, Professor Snape wouldn't have been quite so testy if he'd had a little OM in his life.
What it boils down to is wearing a lot of hats, and remembering to keep them on straight. And only wearing one at a time. Which is prudent, but not always as much fun. *winks*

Does anyone else run into similar issues when writing or reading multiple genres?

Eating Blues

Let me start this blog by saying I don't diet. Ever. I hate the word, and I hate what it stands for--deprivation. I love food far too much to ever deprive myself of it. Which is laughable, because I have so many food allergies and intolerances, my body has decided to deprive me of enjoying them instead.

I'm allergic to gluten. That's a big one. It's in every processed food you can imagine, and many you wouldn't think about--soda, dressings, anything in a box, chicken, latte syrup, medication and even body products like lotions and makeup. I'm a real drag to go out with because there are very few places I can eat. No beer (which is okay, because I hated it before I knew I was allergic to it), no pizza, no pasta, no fresh-baked breads. Those things I miss.

I also have an intolerance to dairy, broccoli, kiwi, and most other grains. The latest is corn. When your body won't tolerate most grains--including the ones normally used as a gluten substitute--guess what you're left with? Lean protein, nuts and seeds, veggies, fruit, and water. Everything nutritionists say we're supposed to eat.

I crave a cinnamon rolls and ice cream desperately. Corn chowder or pizza. I'd love to go out to dinner with my husband, or enjoy a pastry at a coffee shop. Instead I have to spend hours each week getting creative with modifying recipes. I have to make excuses to well meaning friends and family who want to help, but just don't have a clue how or what I can eat. Some days I don't either. I'd love to eat their cookies/pasta/bread/homemade ice cream, but I can't.

To make matters worse, two of my three kids have the same food issues along with a few of their own. School is a nightmare. I've made more than one teacher mad after blowing a gasket because they gave my child a treat that made her sick. Birthday parties and family get togethers are horribly stressful. Some relatives even try to sneak food to my kids when I'm not looking. It's a tough thing to live with. And let me also say we're very thankful to not be deathly allergic to these foods. My heart goes out to families who deal with the threat of anaphylactic shock.

I love eating healthy. This isn't much different than how I was eating before. But I miss the occasional treat. A lot. I'd love to have the luxury of cheating on a cookie or scone. Or half a pizza. When I hear someone complain about their current diet, I have to bite my tongue. Hard. I wish I could savor a cheat meal without getting sick.

Ah, well... I can't change it, so I roll with it. I'm currently in love with my crock pot. I throw in a bunch of stuff I can eat, add my fave herbs and spices, and I can trick myself into believing it's a cheat meal. Sure it's a far cry from Chinese take out or a juicy burger, but I'll take what I can get. My next goal is to find someone to do the dishes. *winks*

What's your biggest food complaint?

Things You Should Never Say To A Writer

Until I became a writer, I had no idea how mysterious the profession was for non-writers. For the most part, I'm happy to answer questions. I try to be gracious, but there are always a few people who throw out the most bizarre comments/questions you could imagine. They always take me by surprise, but I've crafted my responses to actual comments below with a little tongue-in-cheek humor:

1) How much do you make? I think this one makes the list for obvious reasons. I will happily tell you what I make if you'd like to whip out your tax returns from the last three years along with your debt to income ratio, current credit card statements, and balance of your checking and saving accounts. What? You don't want to because that's too personal? Huh. Go figure.

[image error] 2) Will you use me as a character? No. Because you're not that interesting. None of us are. That's why I write fiction. As I've mentioned previously, the only exception to this is if you make me angry.

3) It must be so nice to work from home. Um...sometimes it is. Actually go ahead and say this to a writer. Unless they have a day job, which most do. If that's the case, you should say, "Wow, you find time to write on top of a 40 hour a week job? That's amazing." Because it really is. Please don't follow it with anything related to ignoring their children.

4 & 5) Publishing must be easy, right? Followed quickly by, I should write a book. Sure it's easy. For those of us who can write. Just like singing is easy for those who have an amazing set of pipes. Or being a first draft NBA pick is easy for guys with phenomenal basketball skills. Writers work hard to master the art of story telling. Anyone who tells you it's easy is a liar.


6) Can't you stop writing long enough for the BBQ (movie/camping trip/meeting/etc.)? Absolutely. As soon as you clear it with my editor, publisher, publicist, and the other people waiting for me to make my deadline. Also, next time you have a big project due at work, I want you to skip it so we can get a mani/pedi and a latte. Sound good?

7) Said with a sneer, You write romance (urban fantasy/YA/books about Bigfoot)? Why yes, I do. Tell me again why you sell nuts and screws for a living/sit on a tractor/make sandwiches/defend criminals/answer phones/draw blood? To each their own, my friend.

8) Will you recommend my book to your agent/editor/publisher? Nope. For two reasons. First, I have no idea how well or how poorly you write. When you ask me for a recommendation, you're asking me to put my reputation on the line. Second, published writers busted their butts to get where they are. Earn your own stripes. I'll happily recommend books and websites for you to get started.

9) Can I have a copy of your book? Of course. Feel free to purchase it at the nearest bookstore or online. I appreciate your support. Oh, you wanted a free copy? Wow, so do I. Guess we're both out of luck. Wait, don't you work on a car lot? How about I'll buy you a copy of my book, and you get me a newer car. Deal?

[image error] 10) How do you do your research? *wink, nudge* My ideas and research are all done via immaculate conception, of course. Wait, that's not a real thing in writing? *Sigh* I have a fertile...virile...er...*grabs thesaurus*...abundant imagination. I'm a story teller. The details are important, so I research. The process is no different than the research you'd do for your latest investment/surgery/machinery. Don't be crude.

11) How did so-and-so writer get a book deal? Their writing sucks. Good question. Go ask their editor and agent, and be sure to tell them that you think the author sucks. You should also ask the thousands--or millions--of fans who bought the book. By the way, disgruntled writers are easy to spot. Instead of insulting another writer, why don't you focus on getting your own book deal?

And that, my friends, is a brief list of things you should never say to a writer. Did I miss any?

Muse Motivation

We all need a little--or a big--nudge every now and then. When you're engaged in a creative endeavor, your muse can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Here are my top muse motivators:

1) Chocolate. Did you really think I'd start with anything else? *grins* On a serious note, my muse revels in anything indulgent, but chocolate is at the top of the list. We have a fabulous chocolate shop where I live. They carry every kind of chocolate (imported and local) you could imagine. This is my writer fuel. Yum.

2) Reading a book in the genre I'm writing. I have to be careful with this one, because my TBR pile has a variety of genres represented. My muse isn't interested in working if I get distracted with a historical novel, or a book on nutrition. It's not that I don't love these books, but they don't help me with gargoyles.

3) Sam and Dean Winchester from Supernatural. 'Nuff said.

4) Yoga. Or more specifically, handstands. When the words aren't flowing, I go upside down for a change in perspective. Works like magic.

5) Music. I don't always listen to music while writing, but I do when I need a break from writing. Here again, my tastes are eclectic. I listen to a little of everything. If I can dance to it, all the better. Right now my playlists have songs from David Garrett's Rock Symphonies and Maroon 5, with a little classical piano from Glenn Gould thrown in. Yes, it's really that random.

6) Mixed martial arts. I love watching a fight (GSP, Kenny Florian and Ryan Bader are my fave fighters). The precision and athleticism of the fighters makes me think about my characters' strengths and weaknesses. I wonder how Jax and MacLean would do in a cage match? Hmm...

7) Crafts. Yes, I'm a craft geek. Knitting, scrap booking, sewing, making bath and body products, origami, collages--you name it. I've even been known to steal...er...borrow one of my kid's coloring books. The projects don't always turn out perfect, but the repetitive process of knit/purl, or the task of coloring in the lines calms my muse and gets the creative juices flowing.

8) Pulling weeds. Seriously. If I'm frustrated with a scene or sick of looking at the computer (or both), I head out to my garden to weed. Much like my writing, it always needs to be done. For some reason I don't understand, I planted a huge garden. I mean huge. Thankfully, weeding is cathartic. I hated doing it when I was younger, but now it's strangely satisfying. I don't understand that either, but it works, so I'm not going to question it. *grins*

How do you recharge, inspire or otherwise motivate yourself?

Jess

Let the Countdown Begin...

I've been so busy with edits, writing and blogs, that I'm behind a few days or weeks. *hangs head in shame* However, when I emerged from my muse cave, I checked the calendar and noticed STONE COLD SEDUCTION is out in 20 days! September 6th, to be exact. Here's a peek:


Available for purchase at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Diesel, and Books on Board
I'll be a guest on numerous blogs and review sites in the weeks surrounding the release, so check my Facebook and Twitter pages for links to win a copy. I'm kicking things off early at Badass Book Reviews on August 26th, so please stop by to comment.
I'm also part of the Qwillery 2011 Debut Author Challenge.
~and~
Parajunkee's Supernatural Smackdown starting in September. Stop by and vote for Jax! Hot gargoyles need love too. ;-)

Whew, that's all I have for now. I have to get back to those guest blogs and finishing STONE COLD DESTINY. Thank you for your support. It means the world to me.
Jess

My Reading Style

I am, first and foremost, a reader. I think all writers are. With the first book in my recent trilogy out for reviews, I've been thinking a lot about the kind of reader I am. I'm not picky, I'm loyal to my favorite authors and...

I read for the story.

We all do, right? Wrong. Some people live to find plot holes. Others love the technical stuff--sentence structure, punctuation, and pacing. While others want a character driven story. You might want all of the above. I'm mostly interested in the story. Sure I fall in love with characters, but my favorite kind of story sucks in me into the entire world. I want to fall in love with all of it. I rarely pay attention to typos and punctuation. Nor do I care abut plot holes (unless I can drive my SUV through them). I'm a forgiving reader, which would make me a horrible reviewer. I can count on one hand the number of books I've been unable to finish.

When I read, it's for the experience of the story. Of course, when I critique, it's a different matter (and another topic). I have a hard time rating books when I'm reading for pure enjoyment. If I can't give it 4 or 5 stars, I don't leave a review.

I simply want to read a book and be entertained, horrified, educated, or enchanted.

Books are magical. I don't want to ruin the magic by focusing on typos or dangling modifiers. That takes away all the fun. And by magical I mean the most moving, sweet, funny, scary, educational or powerful book you have on your shelves. We all experience the magic in different ways. It might be the characters, the writer's technical proficiency or something else.

What is the most magical book you've ever read and why?

Apologies To An Editor

I feel the need to post a broad, sweeping apology to my past, present, and future editors. Why, you might ask? Editors put up with a lot. As a writer, it's easy for me to slap words together and call it a story. An editor has to take those words and make them sparkle. It's a messy, sometimes thankless process--and that's being generous. Editors have to deal with divas, whiners, and OCD authors on top of making the book beautiful. I don't envy them, but I sure do appreciate them. I'm convinced they all possess a magic wand, a thick skin, and some serious coping methods. So without further ado...

1) I'm sorry for my irritating writing habits, such as multiple instances of eyes rolling. No, not on the floor, just with attitude. I can't seem to stop with just one character. Or two. Or five. They all have to do it. I try to catch the worst of it, but the rolling eyeballs are a compulsion. Same goes for characters drinking coffee. And sitting at a table. And...sigh...you know the rest. If it helps, please know I started an Editing No-No Notebook. I might need a second one soon.

2) I'm sorry for the plot holes big enough to swallow a town of 20,000 people. It's not intentional. The holes don't exist in my head. Don't laugh--what I mean is, those plot holes don't exist in my mind as the story unfolds. There seems to be an occasional 5 second delay from my brain to my typing fingers, during which some information seems to get...um...what was I saying?

3) I'm sorry for joking about hemorrhoid cream. No really, I am. On the bright side, at least I didn't try to write a poem or a song verse to plug into the story. That would be far more painful to read, trust me. Your brain would need serious exfoliation after that.

4) I'm sorry for my bad habit of mixing up "me" and "my." I really do know the difference--cross me heart and hope...ahem...cross MY heart and hope to die.

5) I'm sorry for my dyslexic tendencies. In the 5th grade, I missed getting 100% on my periodic table test by one question. I put "5" instead of "F" for iron. The teacher made fun of me for such a "stupid" mistake. He was a rat bastard, but fortunately, you are far more understanding. Funny enough, the character I killed off in Ch. F...er...5, bears a striking resemblance to him.

6) I'm sorry for the late nights you spend fixing my mistakes. I feel like I should buy you a monthly subscription to a wine club. Or coffee club. I guess it depends on whether you need to dull the pain, or barrel your way through it.

7) And last but not least, I'm sorry I twitch whenever I read or hear the phrases, "Revise," "Please revise," "Cliche, please revise." and "Not another &*%! cliche!" I'm also sorry you have to type it.

Editors don't get the credit they're due (though they're very popular at writing conferences). With my apology, I'll also extend a heartfelt THANK YOU to the hard working editors out there--especially mine. And for the record, I received my first pass edits BEFORE I wrote this, so this shouldn't be considered a bribe. *cough*

Jess