Mandi Ehman's Blog, page 31

Why I’m scheduling rest in 2015

If I was going to choose a second word of the year—or replace my current one—my word would be rest.

Not just rest as in getting more sleep (although that sounds heavenly at this moment), but rest as in not trying to do it all, taking time off, being intentional about time away from the computer, etc.

As an entrepreneur, I can be a bit of workaholic. In some ways, I think that may be the hallmark of an entreprenuer. And the reality is you often do have to work your tail off to build a successful business from scratch (although I’ve seen the occasional entrepreneur who can successfully build a business slowly and steadily…a trait I admire). But at some point, it moves from being a necessity to being a bad habit that can affect your health and relationships.

Last year, my focus was on consolidating my various endeavors and not worrying about trying to make all the ideas happen. I’ve made peace with having good ideas and letting them go, and I’ve moved my focus from the fun of starting something new to the joy of building what already exists.

But…I still take on too much. Over and over again I say yes to opportunities or my own projects or silly tasks that don’t even accomplish much because I overestimate the amount of time I actually have. And because I’m really good at getting things done, I mostly get them done…but at great sacrifice—to my health, to my family, to my vision and to my creativity.

While there is certainly an effect on my family (and I’m not trying to minimize the importance of addressing that), the other thing I’ve seen again and again and again over the past 7 or 8 years is that when I spend time away from the computer and away from my to-do list, my vision and creativity thrive. Which means rest is actually really good for my business. And yet I continually end up back in a cycle of overcommitting, overworking and burning out. It’s a bit dysfunctional, in all honesty, and it probably also fits Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

In an effort to avoid the trap of overworking, overscheduling, and ignoring the need for rest this year, I’m trying two new strategies:

This week I am taking my first ever writing/planning retreat.

A planning/writing/vision retreat is something I’ve been wanting to do for several years now, and the perfect opportunity finally popped up.

As an introvert, I thrive with plenty of silence and time alone, but as the mom of five, including a toddler, my silence and time alone is limited to the morning hours when I’m cranking out as much work as possible. This retreat will be different. I am taking my computer, but my plan is to spend as little time in front of it as possible and leave lots of space for thinking, visioning and just being as I think and pray about the year ahead.

To that end, my plans include:

audiobooks on business and creativity continuing my daily walks carving time out for regular doodling and hand lettering Bible study journaling Michael Hyatt’s 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever course resting (including full night’s sleep for the first time in years)

I have never taken a personal retreat by myself, and it’s been many years since I’ve even taken a retreat at all, so I’m very much looking forward to this time and setting a course for my year. (I also realized that this will be the first time in my entire life that I’ll be completely alone for 3 days. That’s weird to think about!)

The other part is learning to be realistic about the amount of time I actually have.

I’ve seen continuous monthly calendars before (I’ve even recommended and given one away here on Life Your Way), but the struggle I’ve had is that they’re too big and I can’t keep them at my fingertips for easy reference and adjustments. This year, I searched for a printable continuous monthly calendar, and I absolutely love this one from Vertex42.com that you can edit in Excel. Using color coding, symbols and other formatting, I’ve filled in all of the important birthdays, holidays and project deadlines for the year.

A continuous calendar is unique because it allows you to see the year as a whole rather than separating each month onto its own piece of paper. For someone who tends to overbook, this is crucial because it keeps me from saying, “Oh, this will be done this month, but next month is free.” I can see exactly how full the calendar is without creating artificial breaks that don’t really exist.

More importantly, seeing the year as a whole allows me to schedule time off so that when new opportunities come up, I can protect that time and be realistic about what’s already on the calendar. I’ve blocked off vacations and birthdays and holidays as non-work days so that those are obvious when I’m trying to determine whether I can realistically get something done.

I know myself well enough to know that I’m not going to do these things perfectly from this moment forward, but I do hope that these two steps kick off 2015 as the year of rest and being realistic about my time!

Do you make time for rest? Do you think it’s important?

Why I’m scheduling rest in 2015

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved

     

How I’m simplifying my wardrobe with a personal uniform

I am not fashionable.

My mom and my sister both love fashion, and I just did not get that gene. But that doesn’t mean that I want to walk around feeling frumpy and unfashionable all the time either.

Figuring out my personal style and replacing the clothes in my wardrobe with clothes I love has been on my mind a lot over the last year.

It wasn’t until I started reading about the idea of a uniform as part of simplifying your personal style that it really clicked for me, though. I really love the idea of wearing different versions of the same outfit each day…not only because it makes those decisions simpler and lets me focus my mental energy elsewhere but also because it gives me freedom to wear what I love without feeling like I need more variety.

For me, during the fall and winter, there’s no doubt that my uniform consists of tank tops with a cardigan. I love that you can dress them up or down depending on the style of the tank top and the jewelry and accessories you add. But there’s also a more practical reason: I am the kind of person who sweats when I’m embarrassed or excited or sad or nervous or…well, any time I experience pretty much any emotion. (I’m thinking this does not bode well for perimenopause and hot flashes.)

Wearing a cardigan over a tank top allows me to more easily regular my temperature by easily slipping the cardigan on and off and also prevents embarrassing pit stains.

Up until this year, though, all of my cardigans were hand-me-downs from my mom and sister. However, in light of this revelation, my Christmas wishlist this year included a few new cardigans:

Kimchi Blue Weekend Cardigan Sweater

Urban Outfitters | $79

AEO Chunky Cable Knit Cardigan

American Eagle Outfitters | $69.95 (on sale for $32.50 right now!)

AEO Feather Light Open Cardigan

American Eagle Outfitters | $34.95 (on sale for $15.99 right now!)

AEO Open Hooded Cardigan

American Eagle Outfitters | $49.95 (on sale for $23.49 right now!)

Now that I’m fully invested in this uniform idea, I’m ready to invest in a few more high quality tank tops as well.

That’s not to say that I only have cardigans and tanks; I’m not quite ready to go that far yet. I have a few beloved lightweight sweaters and I love the Sevenly sweatshirts with my pajamas. But for the most part, cardigans it is. Cardigans with jeans when we go out. Cardigans with leggings at home.

I also recently cleared out my closet and reorganized. Originally I had things categorized by long sleeve and short sleeve and then arranged by color, but I’ve decided that cardigans and tanks deserve their own categories at the front for easy selection.

Once I lose the rest of this weight I gained last year, I am going to work on researching nice jeans too. I’ve been buying clearance Mudd jeans at Kohls because they’re the only non-mom jeans that don’t slide off my Italian rear end when I sit down, but I’m ready to find and invest in 2 or 3 pairs of nicer jeans that fit really well.

I’m not entirely sure what my spring/summer uniform will consist of, but I have a feeling it might just be the same with the cardigan being carried more often than worn—another good reason to invest in nice tank tops!

Do you have a personal uniform? If not, do you like the idea of one, or do you find it too limiting?

How I’m simplifying my wardrobe with a personal uniform

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved

      CommentsI love love love this idea! I didn't realize it until you said ... by Kristina PattonI never thought of this but I guess I do, a tee shirt under a ... by Tammy Drouin 

Weekend reading: January 10, 2015

From Instagram: Not quite sure about this…

It has been so cold here this week. Not as cold as it’s been other places, but cold enough to make me wish for spring! I kept walking on the first day it snowed because it was so pretty out, but as the wind swept in and we had wind chills below 0, I kind of gave up. I’ve missed it, though, so I’ll definitely be making time for long walks this weekend.

Next week I am taking a 3-day writing/planning retreat and I could not be more excited. Our house is…busy, to say the least, and while most days I wouldn’t have it any other way, I’ve been wishing for a chance to get away and just think and rest and brainstorm for a long time. In fact, I realized yesterday that this will be the first time I’ll be truly alone in more than a year and the first time I will be truly alone for 3 days in my entire life. Sean will hold down the fort at home, and I’m going to try not to die from being separated from Jack for that long. Mostly I’m really excited, though, and excited to get 3 full nights sleep in a row too!

What I’m reading: For Such a Time by Kate Breslin and I ended up starting Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson rather than Robin Hood last week

What I cooked: beef & butternut squash stew, shrimp scampi zoodles, oven baked chicken fajitas

What I’m thinking about:

{Follow my personal Facebook feed for the things I’m thinking about and talking about all week.}

Stop playing the comparison game 2 reasons you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people. | Jon Acuff Inspiration vs. Comparison | Jon Acuff When Her Good News Makes You Feel Bad | Momastery Are you a maker? Maker’s Schedule, Manager’s Schedule | Paul Graham Why the World Needs the Makers to Say No Boldly | Nesting Place What healthy really means When Skinny Isn’t What You Think | Just Enjoy Food Is Your Paleo Challenge Justifying Disordered Eating | Paleo Parents (timely!) Depression Is Not A Scandal | Jamie the Very Worst Missionary

Have a great weekend!

Mandi Ehman is the blogger behind Life Your Way. She and her husband have four beautiful girls plus one baby boy, and together they live, work and homeschool on a little slice of heaven in wild, wonderful West Virginia. Mandi loves coffee, chocolate, easy meals, beautiful things and minimalist spaces.

Weekend reading: January 10, 2015

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved

     

Easy editorial calendar planning for bloggers

I don’t talk a lot about blogging, but I do share a few tips here and there, so if you’re not a blogger, this is one of those posts you may want to skip! For those of you who do blog, this one tip has made the biggest difference in my life and my blog over the past year, and I think about it often enough that I decided it was time to share it.

When I started blogging, the editorial calendar was king. It was important to post regularly, never miss a day, etc. To be organized—and out of fear of running out of post ideas—I used to fill my editorial calendar months in advance, writing down topics whenever inspiration hit and dutifully adding them to the calendar to try to balance topics across the month.

I would then jot notes for each topic as the post date got closer, eventually forcing myself to write a post that I couldn’t even remember wanting to write…just because it was on my calendar.

The more I did it, the more blogging started to feel like an obligation rather than a joy, and the dryer and duller my posts got.

Last year, when Sean broke his knee and I was suddenly juggling even more than usual, I started jotting down bits and pieces of actual posts—and not just topics—whenever inspiration hit. I would suddenly think of a lesson I was learning, or a tip that was making a difference in my life, and I’d write a paragraph (sometimes more) about it before going back to what I was originally doing. This wasn’t the first time I’d tried this method but this time I finally found a system that really worked for me: typing posts in the Evernote app on my phone, where they’d automatically sync to my computer.

Sometimes I start with just a few sentences, other times several paragraphs. But I always go back to it several times, adding more, deleting, tweaking, before I’m ready to hit publish—sometimes on my computer, often on my phone.

Once I have a pretty good draft, I’ll go ahead and add it to my calendar. But not before.

I discovered that the posts I wrote right when inspiration struck were not only easier and less painful to write but also resonated more with readers. I stopped feeling frustrated while trying to write a post I no longer cared about. And my writing time decreased significantly.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not typing a post on my phone one minute and hitting publish the next. I wish it were that easy, but it’s not. It still involves time and effort.

Even though writing still takes time, though, this practice has made a huge difference in my blogging. I’m able to write faster and more authentically, and I think these posts are higher quality than the ones I force myself to write just because they’re on my calendar.

It’s also brought the joy back to blogging because I almost always have a backlog of half written posts to choose from. Some of those will never get published because they already feel dry and boring to me. Others will take me weeks or months of tweaking. But knowing there is plenty to choose from makes it feel like fun again rather than drudgery, and that might be the biggest benefit of all.

How do you capture inspiration when it hits?

Easy editorial calendar planning for bloggers

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved

      CommentsLove this! I recently started blogging and have done something ... by KellyI've just started blogging and haven't actually tried Evernote ... by RhiannaI agree with this! I'm constantly taking notes for posts and ... by Tara SchillerThanks for sharing this so special tip by Tina Zani 

Have you bought new underwear this year?

When was the last time you bought new underwear? Not Dora underwear for the two-year-old or boxers for your husband, but new underwear for you.

I know that’s a pretty bold question to ask, but bear with me for a minute.

In some ways, this question has become an archetype for self care, an example of how women in general and moms specifically tend to put themselves last. And we’re going to talk about that in a minute. But first, let’s focus on the question itself:

When was the last time you bought new underwear for yourself? To take it further, when was the last time you bought new underwear that you actually like—underwear that you enjoy putting on, that makes you feel beautiful or spunky or sexy?

Maybe the type of underwear you wear shouldn’t affect your self-confidence or the way you approach life, but for most of it does, even if it’s subconsciously and even if it’s just a little bit. And that doesn’t mean you need to spend a ton on underwear, but there’s something to be said for having options that are fun or give you confidence rather than ratty, stretched out pairs that make you feel…well, ratty and stretched out.

Maybe you’re waiting to buy new underwear because it feels like the frugal thing to do. Maybe you’re waiting until you lose weight. Maybe you just can’t stand the thought of spending the time or money to think about and purchase new underwear that no one’s even going to see (which may be a whole ‘nother conversation).

If any of those maybes apply to you, here’s my challenge: Unless your budget is so tight that you really can’t afford anything other than food and your monthly bills, set aside a few dollars this month and buy yourself some new underwear. You can get a pack of Hanes at Walmart for $6 or 5 pairs at Victoria’s Secret for $25, with a million options in between.

And while you’re at it…buy yourself a new bra or two too!

***

With that out of the way, the bigger question this leads us to is this:

When was the last time you did something just for you?

I’m not talking about some entitlement mindset where you whine and complain that you haven’t had any time to yourself just because “me time” has become a buzz word, because frankly I think “me time” is overrated and often looks like wasting time rather than intentional rest. No, I’m talking about setting aside time to read books that make you think, pursue something creative, or take a moment to just be without really doing anything.

And you know what? The hard truth is that most of us can easily carve out 30 or 60 minutes a day for those things. We can turn off our phones and shut Facebook in favor of a good book, institute an afternoon quiet time for our kids to give us time to rest, use the morning or evening hours to learn something or create something rather than watching TV.

But—in one of those great paradigms of life—it takes a little work to make time and space for the things that feed our souls, and we have to decide that those things—that we ourselves—are worth the effort. We have to force ourselves to close the laptop when we’re too exhausted to think because it draws us in as a place to zone out even though a bubble bath would be a hundred times more relaxing than the latest celebrity gossip. We have to spend two weeks training our kids to stay in their rooms at quiet time just for the chance at an actual quiet time at some point in the future. We have to be willing to try something new, even if it means we might not be great at it.

So your second challenge is this: Find an hour for yourself this week. Wake up early, put on a movie for the kids, turn off the TV in the evenings. Use that hour to do something for you. Not something temporary that will just leave you feeling more exhausted and discontent—Facebook and Pinterest, I’m looking at you—but something that’s truly an investment in yourself. Read a book. Do a craft just for the pleasure of it without worrying about the end result. Pick up your instrument.

And stop feeling guilty about it.

Have you bought new underwear this year?

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved

     

Organizing Versus Simplifying

Andrea Dekker is our expert contributor for this month’s Live course module: Simplify.

When I read these words in one of her posts, I immediately copied them down because they are so true and illuminating:

“ORGANIZING is very different than SIMPLIFYING.



ORGANIZING is a temporary fix while SIMPLIFYING is a completely different way of doing life.



Organizing is MOVING things around.



Simplifying is REMOVING anything we don’t need, use, want or love.”

Where have you been organizing and reorganizing when what you probably need to do is a little bit of simplifying first?

P.S. Want to learn how your priorities and values affect your decisions to simplify? Join us for that and more in this month’s module!

Organizing Versus Simplifying

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved

      CommentsHi Kate! Thanks for your comment. This is definitely something ... by Mandi @ Life Your WayI 100 percent understand the need for bloggers to make a ... by Kate 

How do you measure the state of your life?

How do you measure the state of your life?

For me, it can really be measured by two things: how many books I read in a week and when I last organized.

As we ended 2014 and life began to calm down, the number of books I read skyrocketed relative to the previous 6 months, and I tackled my neglected drawers and cabinets with excitement.

I hadn’t realized until then that the lack of time for those two things was affecting me as much as it was, and the relief I felt was almost immediate.

Of course, I’m not saying these are the only signs that things are out of control. There are plenty of other signs as well: snapping at the kids, not getting consistent sleep, gaining weight, eating junk, not wanting to leave the house (although this is fairly normal for me), etc.

But it’s those first two objective measurements that really tell me the most because they’re both things I love and both things that have been a regular part of my life, not just goals I’ve set for myself or aspirations I’m trying to meet.

When I shared this realization on Facebook, I was shocked by the interaction on the post. I expected a few likes from fellow bibliophiles or organizing junkies, but several people shared their litmus tests as well and I realized we all have those things that really tell us how we’re doing.

Stephanie said hers are the cheese to veggie ratio in their diet and how long it takes her to return calls and texts.

My friend Shannon said, in her life, it’s how much time she spends at the gym and how much she spends on eating out.

Like anything, these will be different for everyone, but knowing what they are can help you evaluate things moving forward.

Now I know that when the drawers are bothering me but I can’t find the time or motivation to clean them out…or when I’m barely picking up my Kindle…that it’s a good sign that I need to reevaluate my time and commitments and make plans to pull things back into balance.

What about you? What is your litmus test for how you’re life’s really going?

How do you measure the state of your life?

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved

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My most important goal for 2015

As I was thinking about my enthusiasm for things like eating healthy, exercising regularly, reading a variety of books and being more intentional about family time as we kick off the new year, I realized that my most important goal for 2015 is one that I’ve neglected in the past: monthly evaluations.

In fact, this is the only measurable goal I’m setting.

What?!

Yep, despite popular advice—advice I’ve even given—on the importance of measurable, achievable goals, most of the goals on my list aren’t necessarily measurable. The idea of committing to family game nights once a week, for example, feels more like a chore than just practicing the art of suggesting them spontaneously, and the same can be said for exercising, reading aloud, etc. I know I’m not going to do them perfectly, and I don’t want them to turn into a source of guilt rather than joy, so I’m hesitant to attach measurable goals to the overall value.

But taking time to think about the kind of life I want to live is motivating, and I think setting a goal to evaluate how well I’ve practiced each of those values each month—and stoke my commitment to working toward them—will be incredibly motivating.

I’m not quite ready to commit to sharing that progress here each month because the last thing I want to do is regurgitate a boring post each month out of obligation, but I do think I’ll set aside a page in my new Choose Gratitude journal that Crystal sent me to spend some time reflecting on the successes and failures for each month.

I have a feeling that that practice will be more valuable in creating a life I love than all the SMART goals I could possibly imagine!

Do you set measurable goals for the New Year? Do you evaluate your progress monthly?

My most important goal for 2015

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved

      CommentsI totally get you with this. As a teacher I encourage my ... by Inger CuthbertVery interesting post. Sorry to tell that although I ... by MacaronI make goals with actionable steps to reach them. I check ... by LoriYes, I totally relate. I value setting goals, but this year ... by Lindsay S. 

Weekend reading: January 3, 2015

From Instagram: Y’all, who am I? I actually *look forward* to walking all day long. Wha?! Audiobooks are my new favorite!

I am kicking off 2015 with an effort to get healthy. (Aren’t we all?) For me, that means my third Whole 30 and a Diet Bet for a little extra motivation. I’ve also been walking daily, and I wish I would have tried audiobooks years ago because I am enjoying that daily walk so much now that I have something to distract me from how much I hate exercising!

For me, weight is a byproduct of being unhealthy for 6 stressful months, and while my main goal is to get healthy, I’m hoping that some weight loss will be a natural byproduct of that as well.

What I’m reading: The Adventures of Robin Hood by Howard Pyle, 41: A Portrait of My Father by George W. Bush and For Such a Time by Kate Breslin (on sale for $1.99 for Kindle)

What I’m cooking: I’m still planning for my Whole30, but I can guarantee it will include lots of eggs and roasted veggies.

What I’m thinking about:

{Follow my personal Facebook feed for the things I’m thinking about and talking about all week…like this spirited Lego Friends debate!}

Make 2015 awesome 25 Kick-In-The-Butt Inspiring Posts To Get You Motivated For 2015 | The Happiest Home 13 Suggestions for Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions | Gretchen Rubin 5 Tips for Setting Goals | One Little Momma Reading resolutions How to read more | Austin Kleon The 2015 Reading Challenge | Modern Mrs. Darcy Home resolutions Ditch the Life Coach and Do the Daily Chores | New Urban Habitat 7 Tips to Help Keep Your Resolution to Declutter | Becoming Minimalist 101 Simple, Healthy Changes to Make in 2015 | Keeper of the Home

Have a great weekend!

P.S. Is your goal to simplify this month? You don’t have to do it alone. Join us!

Mandi Ehman is the blogger behind Life Your Way. She and her husband have four beautiful girls plus one baby boy, and together they live, work and homeschool on a little slice of heaven in wild, wonderful West Virginia. Mandi loves coffee, chocolate, easy meals, beautiful things and minimalist spaces.

Weekend reading: January 3, 2015

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved

      CommentsOhhh, I loved “For Such a Time!” I hope you do too! I hate ... by Kristen 

The procrastinator {ouch!}

I recently downloaded the StayFocusd app for Chrome, and this paragraph (which is a challenge exercise before you can change any of your settings) rings painfully true:

The procrastinator is often remarkably optimistic about his ability to complete a task on a tight deadline; this is usually accompanied by expressions of reassurance that everything is under control. (Therefore, there is no need to start.) Lulled by a false sense of security, time passes. At some point, he crosses over an imaginary starting time and suddenly realizes, “Oh no! I am not in control! There isn’t enough time!”

I believe the original source is a Cal Poly document on procrastination, but wherever it came from, it’s a convicting paragraph for me!

Are you a procrastinator? Does this describe your thought process when you procrastinate?

The procrastinator {ouch!}

© 2010-2015 Purple Martin Press, LLC | All rights reserved