Pamela Davis's Blog, page 4

futuristic thinking

Today I crossed over the 27K word count in the new book, the third in the Gaiaverse series. The book finally seems to be settling down and not making me so crazy. It feels like I'm on the right track. This book is five years into the future and it has been harder to find my way, in part because of that five year difference in the circumstances and people.

It made me stop and think about the last five years of my life. Has anything changed? Yes, in fact, my life has gotten much better. Five years ago, Gaia Dreams was in a drawer with no thought of being published. Five years ago I was still slowly killing myself with cigarettes. Now I'm a three-year non-smoker. It feels good and my health is better for it. Back then I was stuck in a depression and now I'm not. A lot can change in five years–just look at your own life to see what I mean.

Taking a character in a story five years into the future is a curious mix of 'what if' and going beyond the limits. In this case, it isn't one character but numerous characters whose lives all have to be addressed in terms of growth, change, stagnation, challenges, achievements, problems, crises and more. Characters that I knew so well in books one and two are now different, and I have to get to know them all over again. When I started the five-year into the future time frame, I hadn't really thought it all out. It is not just people who will have changed, but the local environment, the places people work and live, will have changed as well.

So why do it, if it is this complicated? Well, because it is fun. Oh at first it was all head banging into the wall frustration, but it is now fun. It is neat to see where the characters have gone in their development. It is a challenge to figure out how changes in the world and the people impact the story. In the case of the third book, those changes drive certain main themes and events. And of course, since I am the writer, I have control over what has happened to everyone. Right. As usual, I only have a certain amount of control. I tried to set up something with one character and it wouldn't work no matter how hard I tried. That character just wasn't going there. Which is pretty much business as usual for me when it comes to writing.

Wondering why there is a pink castle for today's photo? It is from my castle collection, and I just felt like putting it up there.

after the storm

The good news is that Hurricane Irene did not impact my life, aside from spending way too many hours watching TV reporters stand in water. The bad news of course, is that so many millions are without power, many trees are down, rivers are up, and most of all, people died.

The experience was an important one I think, because who knows when we will be hit by an even bigger storm on the eastern seaboard. For some people it was more like a drill, for others it was life and death or loss of property. I think we'll see more of these storms in the future.

There seemed to be a feeling of letdown, almost disappointment, coming from some of the reporters yesterday. It was as if they wanted to see a bigger storm, more destruction in NYC. Did they really? I don't think so, but I do think it is human nature to enjoy the roller coaster. The fear, the dread, the thrill of danger is something many enjoy. When we hear a disaster is coming, there is that hidden little hope that we will be tested to our limits, that we will know the adrenalin spike of fear as we prove ourselves to ourselves.

Thankfully, most of us were not put in that kind of challenging position this past weekend. Instead, we let the water drain out of the tub, put away the candles and flashlights, saved the go-bag list on the computer, and stared at the gazillion bottles of water stored in the fridge. We dodged a bullet with this storm. Even with the damage that was done, it could have been so much worse.

disaster preparedness

I took today's photo off the cover of my book because I'm starting to feel like we are living in the story. The other day I suddenly felt an earthquake where no earthquake should be, and now I am waiting to see what the hurricane Irene will do to the eastern seaboard.

My best friend, Rachelle called me up and left me a voice mail saying, "Stop writing! And where's the nearest safe zone?" It does feel a bit odd as a disaster novelist to be watching this disaster unfold. Always that touch of guilt at having written something for fun that is now being played out for real in all its fear and devastation. When the earthquake happened I had a few seconds of believing the New Madrid fault had let go. In 1811 earthquakes on that fault caused church bells to ring in Boston. I was sitting there, feeling the shaking, thinking this is it! Because, folks, if that happens on the New Madrid, we are talking catastrophic damage.

My son is currently reading Gaia Dreams and he texted me after the earthquake telling me it was like the book. No, we aren't living out the disasters in my book–not specifically–but it feels like we are having some unusual things happening lately. In truth, natural disasters are happening all the time. Is it so strange that a hurricane would head up the eastern seaboard? No, we're due.

Here's the thing about hurricanes–they take forever to happen. I think this is why they cause the most panic and anxiety of any type of disaster, because there are hours and days to think about what is coming. Hours of hearing the same dire warnings on the television. So much time to freak out. So much time to realize we have no control whatsoever over this churning juggernaut of water and wind bearing down upon us.

I did my preparation, storing water in the fridge, finding my flashlight and candles, turning up my freezer and refrigerator so they are both colder than normal, going to the store and buying coffee since I had run out. I can't imagine sitting through the wind and rain without some coffee! I can only say how thankful I am that I don't live in one of the areas that will be harder hit. Western Mass will get some wind and rain and maybe a tornado, but it won't be anything like being in a major metropolis.

When the rain and wind start, that is when you have to dig deep and manage the anxiety. Because it will just go on and on and on. And there won't be a damn thing any of us can do about it then. Storms like this are always a big giant thump on the head from the planet, reminding us we have no control over the big things in life.

location, location, location

I've just finished writing an entire scene and I stop to re-read it. As I read, I become more and more puzzled. Why? Because there is no location! I have this great conversation taking place between three characters and I see no clue as to where they are when they are talking. I've completely forgotten to address their location.

The photo today is from my collection of castles. I've always loved castles. If I could, I'd put all my characters in castles. Unfortunately, I'm not writing in a genre where castles make sense as a location. But my characters do live somewhere. They have houses. They interact at work or play in other locations. I often see the interactions in my head and forget to write down the location and have to go back and add in those details. Without a location, the characters are not grounded. Their conversation may be fascinating, but without that grounding they are up there floating around in the ether. Their words are without the weight they should have if they were in a place, feet planted firmly. Their actions are taking place in empty space.

Describing a location can add so much to the scene, giving it a texture, a flavor that tells the reader even more about the characters. A bright sunny kitchen, a dark and dusty cellar, a lush lawn, a bustling city street, a town square–each of these evokes a particular mood before the characters even appear. How the conversation continues in that mood, or jarringly introduces another mood entirely, provides some of the drama of the scene. Choosing the location is important. Just plunking the characters down anywhere willy-nilly, is doing them and the story a disservice.

At some point, I am going to put a character in a castle, just for the fun of it. In fact, that might be the beginning of a new story…the castle setting. Hmm.

Do you find that location guides your dialogue or the other way round? Do you have to struggle to get details of location into your story? I'd be interested to hear how other writers deal with location.

patterns within chaos

Look at the photo to the left. This is my brain while writing lately. Not the smooth, even flow of creation but the random chaos that is me trying to work out the story ideas.

But is it really chaos? Or are there patterns within the chaos? At the beginning stage of writing a book do I tend to always feel overwhelmed? I'd have to say 'yes' even though this is only my third experience at it. Right now, my mind feels like there are random explosions of ideas going on. Some seem to pinwheel round in bright colors…and then burst into nothingness. Then there will be a dot of color that repeats itself, and repeats itself until I see there is a pattern to its madness. Some ideas will erupt fully realized, others will simmer in the stew pot, getting more flavorful as time goes on.

Here's what I know: I know that I have to go through this process even though it makes me want to bash my head against the wall repeatedly. I have to follow the elusive trails of thought to find out if they mean anything or are just red herrings. The birth of a story is not a clean and simple process. It is brightness and dark, explosions and whispers, chaos and patterns. Writing is a messy, painful business at times. But when it works–when it all comes together–oh my, it can be glorious.

the america of my time line

I'd like to thank Courtney Cantrell for posting this quote on facebook today. This is what we are living now.

"The America of my time line is a laboratory example of what can happen to democracies, what has eventually happened to all perfect democracies throughout all histories. A perfect democracy, a 'warm body' democracy in which every adult may vote and all votes count equally, has no internal feedback for self-correction. It depends solely on the wisdom and self-restraint of citizens… which is opposed by the folly and lack of self-restraint of other citizens. What is supposed to happen in a democracy is that each sovereign citizen will always vote in the public interest for the safety and welfare of all. But what does happen is that he votes his own self-interest as he sees it… which for the majority translates as 'Bread and Circuses.'

"'Bread and Circuses' is the cancer of democracy, the fatal disease for which there is no cure. Democracy often works beautifully at first. But once a state extends the franchise to every warm body, be he producer or parasite, that day marks the beginning of the end of the state. For when the plebs discover that they can vote themselves bread and circuses without limit and that the productive members of the body politic cannot stop them, they will do so, UNTIL THE STATE BLEEDS TO DEATH, or in its weakened condition the state succumbs to an invader—the barbarians enter Rome."

— Robert A. Heinlein

(emphasis added)

My question is, what comes next? What happens after democracy? For the barbarians are already within the gates–they are the ones addicted to the bread and circuses. Is anarchism next? Where do we go from here?

a recipe for balance

Cooking–the art of mixing together random ingredients to come up with something delicious. I glanced around my kitchen today and noticed my two hot pads hanging on the wall (I crocheted the yellow one) and realized it has been a while since I actually cooked. I've just been going for the fast fix, scrambling some eggs or opening a can or box of something to eat. I have not been following recipes lately, putting ingredients together to simmer so that the flavors come out and blend into an aroma heady to the senses.

And I know why–it is all about balance, or the lack thereof. When I was writing furiously on my second book, I cooked less and less. I would take a break from writing, gulp down pretty much anything at hand, then rush back to the computer to write some more until I was exhausted. I was like someone searching for the next high, and the high came when I was in 'the zone' writing. Since I finished that book, I've been looking for the next idea, not settling to anything, having trouble taking any kind of break. I lost my balance in the last book and I need to find it again.

I need to take the time to really cook. To pick the herbs, to chop crunchy veggies, to slice meat, to stir or whisk, to simmer or boil. When cooking is done in a leisurely fashion, it opens up the mind to fresh new ideas. It is relaxing yet still creative, in a wholly different way from writing. I think my goal with this next book is to find and keep my balance. Take the time for a walk every day. Let myself sleep before I fall over exhausted. Talk to friends in a relaxed rather than manic manner. Carve out the space and time for meals that are actually cooked. Enjoy the process of cooking as well as eating. Let my brain take some breaks even if I have to make it do so. Then go back to the writing. Stir. Repeat. Until well done.

the real thing

It finally arrived! My very own copy of my very own book. I can actually hold it in my hands and feel the weight of all those wonderful 190,000 words. Even though I've seen it up on the Amazon and Barnes and Noble websites, touching the book today made it seem like reality to me. I wrote a book and here it is, the real thing.

Here's one aspect of writing my first book. Or even my second. The whole time I was writing it, it didn't seem quite possible to me that all these words would turn into a book. Then when I finished, I began to believe it a little. I visualized it as an ebook. Words, like digital bits and bytes floating around in the ether of the internet, this I believed. But a book, a real honest-to-God book that has paper and printing and a cover…didn't seem real until I saw it today sitting on a shelf or held it in my hands. I don't believe we will ever lose that need to touch a book, turn the pages, feel the cover beneath our hands. No matter how many ebooks we may own, there will always be a need to keep a few books around with the printed page on real paper.

I have plenty of ebooks on my Kindle, but I also have plenty in paper. The idea of getting rid of any of my 'real' books feels like a betrayal of those books. They are my friends! Look how worn that one is, the cover barely still on, or the one beside it that had a cup of tea spilled on its pages. I've lived with these books and they show the marks of that existence. Now I have duplicates of so many of them on my Kindle, yet I still hold onto them, these long-time paper companions. Ebook or paper, each serves a purpose for me still.

inspiration

I want to talk about inspiration today. What inspires us? So many things can. The photo here, badly taken, of a piece of artwork shows one of my touchstones for inspiration. It was done by Courtney Cantrell, author and artist, whose blog Court Can Write is one I visit regularly.

I am not sure what exactly makes this picture so helpful to me, but I know that when I gaze upon it, I feel peacefulness and calm. I think I need those two things to find inspiration. I need to clear away all the detritus of the day, find a calm center, and let my mind open up to the possibilities in the universe. So many times feelings and thoughts clutter up my mind, enclosing me in my own little world, a solitary place. Inspiration comes from connections. Connections to the world all around us. My job is to break free of my box where rules and expectations about what to write keep me from writing at all. Opening up my mind to the cosmos at large is to free myself of all constraining tethers and float among the world of ideas.

I realized today that I have been forcing myself to come up with the next story idea. I've been listening to the 'shoulds' and the expectations from without and within. Things like, I should write a short book, a short story, or I shouldn't write anything else in the Gaiaverse for a while. I should take a break.

But you know, I don't really feel like taking a break. And I don't know if I want to leave the Gaiaverse just yet, when my head is bubbling with ideas for a third book there. I started writing longhand last night, just notes, and I had three pages without trying on a third book in the series.

Where does inspiration come from? Sometimes it comes from staring at a favorite piece of art and letting myself open up and fly into the realm of possibilities. Sometimes it comes from a dream, a song, a conversation, a look, a laugh, a smile. It can come from anywhere, as long as we are open to it. Finding inspiration is less about searching for it and more about just letting it happen.

cycles

This bunch of yarn will soon be used to make a winter-warm afghan for curling under with a good book as the snow flies. It is hard to imagine, when we have the temperatures from hell this summer. Extreme weather phenomena are featured in my book, Gaia Dreams, and it is hard sometimes to keep my imagination in check.

There is no getting around the fact that the weather has changed since I was young. Some people say it is due to global warming. There are times when I believe that. At other times, I am not so sure. I think the planet goes through cycles and we happen to have entered one that is different than the one we were in before when our weather was more stable.

What does this have to with writing? Writing has cycles too. There is the beginning with the flash of an idea and the rush to get it down on paper. The work of finding the meat of the idea and developing the story. The wonderful feeling of being in the zone when it all is going well. The days when it is an effort to just slog through another page. The excitement heading into the climax of the book, seeing the finish line. The joy and sense of accomplishment that follow 'The End.' Then the let-down feeling, of being rather lost and at loose ends. The days (or weeks or months) of trying to find that next idea. Until one day it is there and the cycle begins again. That may not be every writer's cycle, but that is mine.

Right now I'm in the phase of looking for an idea. I have things bouncing around in my head for my next project, but nothing yet is screaming to be put down on the page. Soon, I hope. You may notice that I neglected to put in the whole editing part of the cycle above. That is because I don't like to think about that part, lol. And because it has its own mini-cycle. We'll save that for another day, when I'm tearing my hair out while editing. For now, I'll think of my future afghan…and how it is keeping a woman warm on a cold lonely night during a snowstorm when there is a knock on her door…aha!