M.R. Merrick's Blog, page 3

A Story is Born

The New Year came with some decisions to be made, and as such, I have made them. Sacred Cities is going on the back burner for a little while. After 15 months and over 200k words in drafts and rewrites, I need a break. There is something about this story that I cannot let go. I can’t just scrap it as a lost cause. The story is there, it wants to be told, and it’s wonderful. Unfortunately, at the moment there is a lot of crap on top of the wonderful, and I’m a little tired of digging through it. I’ll be taking some time to tackle the blank page with a new story that has been pulling at me for several months. A lot of the beginning outline has been done in my down time the last few months and I think I’m ready to take this day dream to the next level. Sacred Cities was very heavy and emotional for me. Not just because of the content within the story, but because of everything I had tried to deal with while writing it. That may be part of why it’s been such a cluster of crap throughout several drafts.

With the new story I’ll be working on, I’m going to bring the Fantasy, adventure, passion, and magic back to my world. I’m going to reach deep into my soul and just let it out. I want it to be exciting, fun, and something that pulls at my heart strings. I’m not setting any major goals or expectations for it. I’m just going to write. Unlike last year, I’m not setting writing goals or publication dates. I’m just going to hit the keyboard and see what happens. When I wrote The Protector series, that’s what I did. I just closed my eyes, opened up the story and wrote. I think that’s what Sacred Cities lacked, or is lacking. I took it too seriously. I didn’t let it evolve. I forced it into what I wanted it to be, and it ended up being too serious and often times dull. The scenes that were exciting, and the ones that will most likely remain once I tear it all down and rebuild it, were the ones I wrote when I just said “Fuck it!” and let the story go. That’s where I’m heading again. That’s where I need to go.

Screw the sales ranks. Disregard the sales figures. Forget the business of writing for a little while and just write. That’s the plan. That’s the only plan. Write a story I want to write because it’s the type of story I want to read. That’s what has been missing and that’s what needs to come back. I realize now that when you take things too seriously, when writing becomes a job instead of an outlet, or a cause instead of passion, it doesn’t succeed. Success, to me, is writing a story I am proud of. If even one person reads it, and if one person can find joy in it, that that is my success. I write for me, and if some people can find a place to escape in that, that’s a win.

The new book is not just a new book, it’s a new chapter in my life and my writing career. I veered off my path for a while…a long while. I wish it didn’t take me so long to get back. I wish it didn’t scare me now. I wish I didn’t make you wait so long. But it did and that time is gone. It’s never coming back. I was too busy trying to walk a path that was not my own, rather than blazing a new trail. With each new day comes new chances. Today I’ll take a chance and write a few words. From there? A whole new world could open up. Who knows, maybe a story will be born.

2015 and the loss of 2014

2014 was a difficult year of evolution for me. It was better than 2013, which was a horrible experience for the most part,but 2014 did not shape up to be what I thought it would. It’s not all completely wasted, but I definitely expected a more powerful year. Instead, it was a year of growth and learning, which in all honesty, can be painful.

At the end of 2013, I was ready for a new year. Boy, was I ready. I had published the final book in The Protector series, Endure, and I was moving on to bigger things after a year struggling through personal issues. Then 2014 came, and suddenly it was gone. I didn’t write as faithfully as I had in previous years. I can admit that much. My writing was sporadic at best. At first, and for most of the year, I thought it was me. I was recovering from major losses, my entire world had been changed, and I was trying to rediscover who I was and what I wanted out of life. I knew I wanted to keep writing, I just didn’t have it in me all the time. I thought one day I’d wake up and just be ready to get back at it. I wasn’t. Instead, I tried forcing it, regaining a little of my lost passion piece by piece, but even when I was sure I was ready, I still struggled.

I wrote 80k words of Sacred Cities when I realized it wasn’t working. I probably realized it earlier, but I didn’t want to admit it. When I finally accepted it, I knew I had to do something drastic, something I’d never had to do before: I would delete a major chunk of the book and start again. 50k words to be exact. Even if you’re not a writer, surely you can understand how heartbreaking it is to delete that much of your work. I didn’t let it drag me down though, I grabbed the silver lining and told myself how much better the book would be because of it. I worked my butt off from that point on, and when it was done (again!) at a monstrous 183k words, I knew cutting those words was for the best. With my knew novel in rough draft  I was ready to start editing. The problem was, the 183k I’d written had been spread out over half the year. I didn’t realize what poor shape my story was in.

Editing the book was painful. Very painful. I continued to tell myself I had to force my way through it to get back in the groove, but it wasn’t working. That’s when I realized that the book wasn’t done. Once again it wasn’t right, but this time I didn’t know why. I left it alone for a month, raking my brain over it. At this point, after 2 years of struggling, I was ready to call it quits. I had multiple other books in mind, a few of which were really exciting to me, and I’d start on one of those instead. As I prepared to write an all-together new book, I realized all this time it wasn’t  me finding my groove that was the problem, it was the book I had been writing. I was telling the wrong story. It wasn’t as powerful, adventurous, or fast-paced as it needed to be. You see,  Sacred Cities has huge potential. It’s a great idea, has great characters, and a great story. The problem is I hadn’t been approaching it the right way. I had forced it to be something it wasn’t and I had tried to do too much with one novel…as the 183 word count might have reflected. It made it messy, slow, and in all honesty, boring. That realization was more heartbreaking than deleting the first 50k, because it meant  I had to rewrite a lot of this book. Again. It meant I’d lied to myself again. I’d let it go too long knowing it wasn’t right, but instead of fixing it, I told myself to power through. I’d fooled myself again. All of this was an effect of the start/stop method my writing had become. Another thing I knew needed to change drastically.

Wow…it’s both difficult and a relief to say all of that. It’s hard to use the word boring when describing one of your own books. I think I hurt myself in the feelings a little…oh well. Onward and upward, right?

I feel like after all this I should apologize for the delay of this book, but I realize two things. The first is that I’ve already done that…a lot. At what point does it stop being sincere? I’m not sure, but I don’t want it to get there. The second reason is that I don’t think I should. Not again. I, more than anyone else, want to put out another book, but I won’t put out something I feel is sub-par. It’s not worth it, and it’s not right. I write what I write because I love it. I don’t hit publish because I should, I hit that button because I have a book I believe in, a story I love, and a world I think others will enjoy visiting. The Protector novels came to me all at once. I sat down and wrote them, edited them, and published them. They were done. I didn’t have hiccups or roadblocks like this. I didn’t have extensive rewrites and major flow issues. They just…were. 2014 was supposed to be a year of publishing 2 new novels in 2 new series. Instead, nothing was published, and nearly everything I did was scrapped to the side like last week’s meatloaf. It was 365 days of self-exploration, and learning a part of the craft I thought I didn’t need to learn. I had to defeat arrogance and unreal expectations. I thought I was the exception. I didn’t need to revise and rework. Stories came to me in one piece and they were great as is. That seems like such a silly thing to say now, but at the time of writing my first series, that was the way it was. I suppose that kind of self-blindness cannot last forever, and that’s a good thing. Instead, I fell out of sight in 2014, lacking confidence in myself and my writing. I watched my friends succeed with incredible stories, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel envy over that. While others found success and continued to power through and write great books, I struggled with a single novel that I couldn’t ship. I couldn’t get it done. But I did learn, and that’s as important as anything. Although I didn’t get to accomplish what I wanted in 2014, all of this has prepared me for what I will be able to do in 2015. Create and hopefully publish a truly great novel…or three.

So what am I to do with my new year? I’ve been working on Sacred Cities for 15 months now. Off and on of course, but I’ve written a total of 240k words in this universe in that time. I think I might need a break. I have another story in mind that I’m really excited about, and to be honest, the idea of reworking Sacred Cities again feels kind of overwhelming. It seems harder to rebuild the mountain you’ve already assembled and destroyed twice than it is to just find a new location and build a new mountain with new stones. That’s not to say I won’t rebuild right now, it’s just to say I’m not sure. Right now I’m all about finding my passion and pouring myself into a book. SC has me exhausted. As I flounder out the last few days of 2014 I have a big decision to make. Either I need to jump into SC and tackle it to the ground, disassemble it and put together something greater, or I need to explore something new. Maybe I need to rediscover passion by closing my eyes and just letting it go. Start with a blank page and see what comes out of this head of mine. I haven’t committed to one or the other yet. In all honesty, I’m scared. I’m sacred if I leave SC alone, it’ll be that much more work when I come back to it. It won’t be fresh in my mind. But a part of me wonders if that’s not the best thing for it. I’m also scared if I tackle another project I’ll realize I don’t have it, and I’ll be destined to relive this entire SC fiasco. Maybe I’m a one-series-wonder? This is all to say I’m scared of a lot of things right now. It’s also to say that I don’t care. I won’t quit. I won’t stop. One way or another I will write. Whether it’s crap or whether it’s gold, only time will tell, but one thing is for certain, good or bad, I have a lot more stories to tell. I just won’t publish them unless they truly capture my heart, and when that happens, I hope you’ll be there to turn the pages with me.

With all that said, 2014 hasn’t been all bad. It’s been a year of enlightenment, a year of growth, and a year of learning. At the very least, I’ve grown leaps and bounds as a writer and grown painfully aware of myself as a person. As hard as that was, it’s a good thing and I am thankful for it. So as 2014 rolls out and 2015 rolls in, I say Happy New Year to you. May your goals be reached, may your dreams grow, may you persevere through struggles, and demolish the demons in your path!

A Darkness Survived

The lovely Christine Nolfi was kind enough to invite me to share a brief essay on her blog about the long road back from my writing break. It’s been a long and sometimes difficult process, especially as the publishing world changes so rapidly. Sometimes it’s overwhelming just looking at it all again, especially when you’ve been away so long. The road back from any break can be tough to handle, but if you stick to it, you can power through anything. If you have a chance, swing by Christine’s website and check out my guest post. Leave some thoughts if you have the time, and check out the many wonderful guest post’s she has. There are–and will be–some great posts.

Holy Sh*t It’s Almost Done

Sacred Cities that is.

This draft is going to be completed within the week. I can’t believe it. I should be able to because I’ve already written four books, but this one was different. I started this book in November of last year, and I could have written it in six weeks, but I had such a struggle sitting down and getting it done that it seems like an eternity since I started it. It’s true that this book is fifty percent bigger than my others (at the moment), and so it did require a lot more writing time, but the majority of this book has been written since the middle of July. And now it’s almost here. What’s more is that over the last week, I’ve worked with my amazing cover designer, Parajunkee, and we have a cover. Not just a cover, of course, but an amazing work of art. One that makes me excited to release this story into the world.

Although this draft is nearly complete, that isn’t to say there isn’t a lot of work to be done. I have to rewrite some sections of the book, do some major hacking and slashing of non-necessary content, alter some timelines and enhance some characters, and then get this book off to the first round of betas. After that, I’ll do another rewrite, send it to another group of betas, self edit the hell out of it, and get it to my copy editor. After that it’s proofreaders and finally, format it for all publishing outlets. Will I make it before the end of the year? Yes. Will this book be out by the end of the year? I’m not sure.

I published Release in December of 2012, and I’m not sure that’s the best month to release a new novel. I haven’t committed to a date just yet, but I may hold onto it and do a January release. That part is still up for debate, but the fact of the matter is this book is coming at you, and I think you’re going to love it.

Over the next few months I’ll be releasing teasers, snippets, doing a cover reveal, and working with Stuck in Books on a blog tour. If you want to catch those teasers and sample chapters, as well as get the cover before the rest of the world, be sure to sign up for my newsletter. Those of you who have signed up already, you haven’t missed anything because I haven’t released my first newsletter yet. It’s been something I’ve talked about doing for a year and haven’t worked on, but with Sacred Cities wrapping up, my focus will be shifting and they’ll be special content coming, as well as a special giveaway exclusive to newsletter subscribers only. Oh, and with all of this is something else that’s exciting: a complete revamp of the website. Stayed tuned for the awesome.

The Darkness Within

It comes unexpected. A darkness that slips through the cracks. An oil that works its way through the crevices of your life, taking hold of the joy that thrives within you. It’s a beast that cannot be battled with magic and weapons. It’s a mental game with the demons within. One best not handled alone.

What is this monster and why does he control you? It leaves you feeling helpless in even the simplest situations, making every day tasks appear impossible. Getting out of bed is a chore. Waking up and knowing you have to continue on with your life as if there is nothing wrong makes you angry. It hurts. Your body begins to betray you. It aches when you’ve given it no reason to. You starve yourself because just the thought of eating makes you feel ill. Nothing is appealing. Forcing a smile is the equivalent to bench pressing a car, and you haven’t been to the gym in a decade. The cartoons you watched as a child where the black rainy cloud follows a character around everywhere he goes has become reality. It’s not humorous. There is no escape.

It’s a fickle thing, depression. A mountain that has to be climbed. You will think you’re near the top, only to find it’s a mere plateau, and you tumble back down to the bottom, somehow feeling like you’ve fallen even further than the base. You’ve gone deeper. You stumbled and found yourself not at the bottom of the mountain, but beneath it. Hell surrounds you. Fire on one side. ice on the other, and what seems like an insurmountable trek above you. The camera pans back, showing the path back to the light. It’s too far, it seems like too much. Why bother trying at all? You’re just going to fall back down or collapse on the way. What’s the point?

Depression is not something to take lightly. It isn’t something to be brushed aside, or taken with a grain of salt. There is no switch to flick. You can’t just “be happy” like your naive former-self believed. It’s an all-encompassing mammoth that swallows you entirely, leaving you barely a breath. It’s serious, and it affects so many people that you know, but you have no idea that they’re hurting. It hides beneath the surface and strikes from within. That’s why we need to take care in the people we deal with. We need to stop judging, and lashing out. It doesn’t matter whether we know their story or not. It’s not important whether they’re famous, or some person on the street. They are a person. You never know whose life you might change by offering a smile, or a brief set of kind words. Sometimes a simple “I hope you have a great day!” can make all the difference. Depression can claim any soul at any time, and it’s terrifying. You don’t understand how scary it is until you’re there, and when you’re there, you don’t realize it. You don’t know you need help because you don’t understand what you’re going through. You think your life has just taken a nasty, unexpected turn. A lot of the time, you don’t realize you were in a depression until you’ve come out of it. Sometimes you need medicine to help, sometimes you need other people, and on rare occasions, you break out of it by yourself. The important thing to remember is that you don’t have to. You don’t have to. You don’t have to be alone. You don’t have to break out of it on your own. There’s help to be had. Family, friends, groups, or counseling. As much as most people scoff at the latter, it’s there for you. It’s there to help you find the light in your darkness.

Words. Words are magic. Write it out, talk it out, meditate. Center yourself. Get lost in another universe. Let music soothe your soul. Don’t turn away from those that love you, as much as you might want to. Cling on to them, let them carry you for a little while. Friendship and love can lighten your load. Don’t let the pain consume you. Fight back. Ask for help. You are not alone. I’ll say it again: you, my friend, are not alone.

The world lot an amazing artist this week. A soul claimed by the darkness. A man who brought happiness and laughter to so many is gone. And many of us can’t believe it.  These recent events emphasize that just because you assume someone is happy, doesn’t mean they are. You never know what is going on inside someone, and that’s a dangerous thing. A quote I saw recently travelling among social media said “The world is full of good people. If you can’t find one, be one.” This resonated with me, because people don’t realize how a little kindness can go a long way. What might seem like a minor thing to you could change someone’s life. It could be the equivalent of a nuclear happy bomb that explodes through their life in the best, most effective way possible. Life is busy. Life is crazy. We’re attached to our televisions, our phones, and any digital device we can get our hands on. Sometimes…too many times…we forget to ask “How are you?” to the people that matter most to us. We forget to love them. We’re to busy getting upset that our Wi-Fi connection is slow, or our PVR recorded the wrong show. A lot of us have lost sight of what’s important, and only we can reclaim it. And we need to. We need to reconnect with life and the people we’ve chosen to share it with. We need to be there and share it with them, enjoying the beauty of what we have rather than focusing on everything that we don’t. Life is short. Don’t waste it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, don’t be afraid to say I love you, don’t hold back your laughter. Be goofy, do a random dance in the street, rock out in your underwear while you’re cooking bacon at 3:00am. Free yourself. Get rid of the pain, or the frustration, or whatever it is that holds you down. Let it go. And not just because Elsa told you to. Most importantly, be there. Show up for life, show up for the people in it, and experience it. Be there for them when they fall, and let them be there to catch you too.

You are not alone.

Even though you feel that way sometimes. Remember that, and remember that you can make sure nobody else in your life feels that way. Be the good you want to see in others. Be the good you want to see in the world. Don’t be afraid to be happy, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t have to live in the darkness. You are not alone.

The Power of Ideas

As I’ve made progress through the first draft of Sacred Cities, I find myself encountering a new problem. It’s a problem I’ve seen many writers face over the years, but not one that I have had up until recently. That problem is an overwhelming supply of ideas, of which I’ve found the power to be intense.

During the years I worked on The Protector series, I remained extremely focused. Sure, I had plenty of other ideas, but none that were in any form demanding. With Sacred Cities however, I’ve discovered a handful of stories that are not only screaming to be written, they’re tempting me away from my WIP. At this point in my writing venture, I haven’t given in. There have been times where I’ve taken writing breaks in order to write down brief scene outlines or ideas, but that is just to hush the voices…so to speak. Thus far that seems to be working, and I’ve made some impressive progress this last little while.

When I tackle a project, I commit to it entirely, and because of that Sacred Cities is almost complete. This story has been a long time coming, and with a few major breakthroughs the last few days, it’s really exciting to be at this point in a story again. The first draft will be done before the end of August, and because I’ve been working on this project off and on for the entire year, there is no reason to give it time to breathe afterwards. I’ll be jumping directly into revisions, and I’m pushing to get this book completed as soon as possible. I’ll have a cover ready at the end of August, and as I work through revisions and coordinate schedules with my editors, this book will *hopefully* be out before the end of the year. That all depends on other people’s schedules and timelines, which I have to respect. I’ll admit it’s a much later date than I had hoped, but it took me longer than I anticipated to get back in the driver’s seat with my writing. The good news is there will not be nearly as long of a wait for the next book. I’ll begin writing it the day I send Sacred Cities to the editors. My goal is have Sacred Cities out this year, and have at least two new books for you in 2015. It’ll require a lot of commitment, even more hours, and a lot of creative energy, but I think I can handle it, and I know you deserve it for the long wait between books this time around.

As I wind down on the first draft of this novel and begin revisions, I am excited to say that I’ll be putting out my first Newsletter with some teasers inside, so if you’re not signed up, make sure you do! I won’t be sending them out often, only a few times a year, but inside you’ll find exclusive content, teasers, and information about all my books. That is something you don’t want to miss!

Consuming Worlds Blogging Anniversary

So my fellow blogger and author, Danielle with Consuming Worlds is hosting her Blogging Anniversary today, and I can’t tell you how honored I am to be a part of it. She’s doing something special this year, and rather just promoting authors and books she enjoys, we’re digging a little deeper. Today we’re talking about ourselves as people, not just writers and creators who have uncontrollable alter-egos that like to make up stories. Today we get real, and I dig deep. I wanted to really contribute something true and honest to this post, and I had to go under the skin for it. There’s no fluffy sparkles or humor in today’s post, but it’s real, it’s honest, and it’s the side nobody gets to see from the other side of the monitor. So let’s head over to Consuming Worlds and check out my guest post in celebration of Danielle’s Blogoversary. And congratulations to her on how far she’s come in this short time. When I first met Danielle she didn’t have a blog, and now she’s celebrating an anniversary, as well as her first recently published book, Guided. Happy Blogoversary, Danielle!!!

I’m Still Here!

Wow, okay, so it’s been over two months since I posted, and a month since I was able to add any wordage to Sacred Cities, but I’m back up and running. With a brand new computer glowing on my desk, I’m ready to go. It’s not that my other computer was broken or inoperable, it’s just that I hated it. I’d given a serious and honest effort to the Mac, but I just couldn’t do it. I’m back to PC and I’m loving it. Now, before all the Mac junkies come out and bite me, the computer itself was great. It’s incredibly fast, even after 18 months, but the OS just isn’t for me. It’s nothing against the Mac product, just that it isn’t what I am looking for. Now I’m sporting a new Toshiba all-in-one that makes my inner geek really happy, and I’m ready to get back to work.

In the midst of my computer change, there was also a job change, and a trip to Seattle where I attended the Emerald City Author Event for my first group signing. Seattle was a really cool city. We did all the touristy things we could do, and I learned Seattle has quite the history, one that was shared with us by probably the coolest tour guide ever. But more on that later in a separate Seattle-only post. Right now is update time.

The first draft of Sacred Cities is nearly complete. I’m hoping that by the end of next month I’ll be deep into revisions. I’m currently working with the incredible Parajunkee on the cover, and all-in-all I’m hoping to have it all available for you late this Fall. Much later than I had anticipated, of course, but the first book in the series requires a bit more attention to lay the groundwork for what’s to come. I apologize for the wait on the book, and the blog silence, but it’ll all be worth it!

Now, what’s to come? I’m going to be revamping the blog design here in the next month or two, revealing the cover for Sacred Cities once I have it, posting some new short stories up on the website, and working on two different standalone novels as well. Aside from the short stories, the blog posts are going to change a little too. Right now they’re very much just updates, teasers, etc. I won’t tell you exactly how they’re going to change yet, but the changes are going to be awesome and take a big turn toward creative writing and sharing some different things with you! Prepare for the fun!

First Signing Jitters

Last Saturday I had my first ever book signing. It was a terribly intimidating event. A fear of being that guy at the table that nobody comes to see replayed over and over in my head leading up to the event. I would sit there for five hours growing increasingly sweaty and gross, until eventually I was just that slobby wet dude that the store manager kicked out. In my head, it wasn’t a pretty event. In my head there was a soul-crushing amount of pressure about to crumble me. When I got there however, it wasn’t so bad.

It started out a little rocky and fairly quiet. I’m pretty sure I looked like that guy completely out of his element, but one of the girls that worked there came over and chatted me up, got me to sign her book, and made me feel a lot better about how nervous I was. I’m fairly certain she won’t be able to read anything I wrote though, my hands were sweating which made it hard to grip the pen, and then of course my hands were also shaking. On a good day, my penmanship is horrid, on a sweaty-hand-shaky-hand day, it’s…well let’s just say I should’ve brought my seven-year-old in as a replacement. She has nice writing.

As the day progressed, the store grew busier and for every person that came up to talk to me, I shed a little bit of that nervous skin. Not literally though, that’d be gross. Also, with how nervous I was there’d have been a pile of dead skin the size of me and…yeah, gross. Anyways, I started to get more comfortable as I found my rhythm, and I talked to a ton of great people. I received some book recommendations I’m excited to jump into, and I think I made a lot of connections. I even met a few actual fan’s in the fourteen – sixteen year range and two of them had a little trouble speaking to me. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who was nervous. That made me feel a little better. To sit and chat with someone in my target audience and listen to them gush about my book was a humbling experience.

On a bit of different note, I realize my elevator pitch needs a little work, but I did get some people really excited for Sacred Cities, which is awesome. That book is going to kick ass, and right now the redraft is going great! I know you’re wondering so I thought I’d just tell you. So overall my first book signing was a success. I met fans, new readers, received some exciting book recommendations, and learned a lot about myself in the process. I have another one coming up this Saturday in Edmonton, so if you’re in the area and able to make it over to the Chapters Indigo South Common Store on 99th street then come on by!

The Magic of a Child

Yesterday my daughter brought home a…well, I’m not entirely sure what it was. It was like a tiny leaf all rolled up, but it wasn’t a leaf. It was completely enclosed. Her friend told her that it was a fairy cocoon. Whoever touched it, the fairy belonged to. This was explained to me in great detail. You cannot even give them as gifts, because when the fairy hatches, it’ll fly back to whoever picked it up first. My oldest daughter, Peyton, who is seven, picked one up and brought it home. She explained how important it was, and that the fairy needed a nice home. So it began.

With a little digging, I found a shoe box and a few pieces of cardboard and let her get to work. She built a bed, a couch, drew pictures on post-it notes to decorate (after coloring aka painting the walls), and of course the fairy needed books, so she wrote a few short stories, stapled them together, and laid them on the floor for her. She even wrote on  the outside “The Fairy House,” should anybody else be confused about whose house it truly was. The light in her eyes was priceless, and this came after a particularly rough patch her and I have been having.

She is very much like me. Too much in fact. Because of this, she has a love of electronics: iPhones, iPods, computers, Television, tablets, the list can go on. I’ve noticed however, that she spends a lot of time with these things. Too much in fact. Lately I’ve been cutting back on the time she’s been allowed to watch TV, or play with any of the other devices. She doesn’t like this, and she sees it as punishment. I can understand that, but I truly believe it’s important. It’s important for her to learn to play with her toys and use her imagination. It’s important for her to learn to create. I never had all the gadgets growing up. I had dirt, and skipping ropes, and some roller blades. I had to make the fun happen.  I understand kids now and days grow up differently than my generation did, but I think there are valuable lessons to be learned by creating your own entertainment and not looking to someone else to do it for you. This is all to say I was thrilled to see her excitement in something that wasn’t powered by electricity, but by her mind! I had to capitalize on this. And so it continued.

After I tucked her in, I carefully split open this leaf-shell thing she had brought home. Once it had a nice little cut in it, I pulled it open, tore the edges slightly so it looked as though something had broke out of it, and laid it back upon the fairy’s cardboard bed (which Peyton had lined in tissue paper for style and comfort). I then went through the disaster zone known as the craft bin, found a glue stick and some glitter, and went to work. I wrote “Thank You!” and drew a smiley face with the glue stick, then doused it with glitter. I sprinkled more within the house, and opened the books to make it look like she had read them. As a clean freak, the next part was difficult for me, but completely worth it to pull off a wonderful surprise and add fuel to the fire which is a growing imagination. I had already poked holes in the surface of the box for her to ‘breath,’ and since we seemingly forgot to build her a door, I tore a hole in the roof where the fairy got out. I then proceeded to sprinkle glitter all over the counter, some on the floor, and a small path in the direction the fairy had left. And then I left a dollar beneath the broken shell of her cocoon.

In my house, at 6:30am, you might have thought there was an intruder, or perhaps a little girl had just seen her most-wanted gift by the fireplace on Christmas day. She screamed and rambled and ran around the house with excitement. Such excitement, in fact, that she spoke too fast for me to understand. It was incredible, inspiring, and reminded me that even though we butt heads sometimes on how much TV is too much, those struggles can be worth it for the magic that can be created elsewhere.

Sacred Cities, my current WIP, took a bit of a turn last week and I haven’t written since. I realized I had to cut about 30k-40k words and take a different direction. Things weren’t working the way they were supposed do, and I refused to acknowledge that I was heading in the wrong direction. I denied it for longer than I should have. So I took a break, letting the new direction I had planned marinate in my mind. After seeing all this magic within my child’s eyes, it reminded me what it’s like to pick up a new book and dive into a new world. It reminded me what real magic really is.

Having to scrap 40k words is depressing. Especially when you were over three-quarters done your book. But this reminded me how worth it things can be. It might be painful, occasionally dreary and completely anti-fun, but the end result can be amazing. Sometimes you have to walk through the mud and battle your way through the brush to get to the oasis. So if you’re in that place where things seem difficult, or something is frustrating you, just remember that the journey isn’t always perfect, but the destinations you get to visit can be.

Don’t believe me? A fight over television, iPad, and computer time can turn into a shoe box and some glitter that has your child screaming with excitement. If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.