James Delingpole's Blog, page 21

Times Atlas To Print New World Map Without Tuvalu, Maldives, Manhattan etc

Following its controversial decision to produce a map suggesting that Greenland has lost 15 per cent of its ice cover in the last twelve years – a loss rate disputed by most credible scientists: and even, amazingly, the Guardian agrees on this – the Times Comprehensive Atlas Of The World has decided to take its new role as cheerleader for Climate Change alarmism a step further. In its upcoming 14th edition, unconfirmed rumours suggest, it will completely omit Tuvalu, the Maldives and major parts of Bangladesh in order to convey the "emotional truth" about "man made climate change."

"All right, it may not be strictly geographically accurate to say the Maldives and Tuvalu will definitely have disappeared in about ten years time when our next edition appears," said Times Atlas spokesman…

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Rogue trader in $38.6 billion 'green jobs' fraud

A rogue trader at one of the world's largest banks (USA Inc., second in economic power only to China Inc.) has been exposed as the biggest fraudster in the history of mankind. The fraud – conservatively estimated at $38.6 billion, though others believe it could be at least 20 times bigger once his secret trading accounts in a file mysteriously marked "Stimulus Package" are fully investigated – comfortably exceeds the paltry $2.3 billion losses run up by UBS trader Kweku Adoboli.

Though full details of the Uber Rogue Trader – known only by his initials B.O. – have yet to be released, he is believed to be either of Hawaiian or Kenyan birth, with a plausible speaking manner and a deceptive aura of competence and gravitas. He is said to be "coolly unrepentant" about his crime, which, he…

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'War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength' claims Osborne

"A successful Euro is massively in Britain's interests" Chancellor George Osborne said today.

He could equally well have said: "A cute puppy and/or crazy calendar kitten-in-a-basket for every working family is massively in Britain's interests". Or: "TV series which are at least as good as Das Boot, Band of Brothers, The Simpsons, The Sopranos and South Park combined are massively in Britain's interests." Or: "Eternal youth, endless peace and permanent full-employment in lovely jobs that everyone loves doing are massively in Britain's interests." And made just about as much sense.

Sure a "successful Euro" would be massively in Britain's interests if we lived in a parallel universe where: the EU were a democratic entity which prized, above all else, the sovereign rights of its constituent states; the EU were not a two-speed economy where the interests of heavily socialised, terminally…

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Led Zep's favourite folkie

In 1970, shortly before the release of Led Zeppelin III, guitarist Jimmy Page invited his folk-singing chum Roy Harper up to his Oxford Street offices to have a look at the new album. 'What do you think?' asked Page. 'It's nice,' replied Harper, toying with the amusing picture wheel built into the sleeve. 'Look at it!' said Page. 'Yes, it's nice,' said Harper. 'No. Look at it!' said Page, growing exasperated. And then Harper noticed the title of track five, side two. 'Oh. Oh! Thanks! I don't know what to say.'

And this is the reason I'm sitting here with Harper 41 years on, in a café near Paddington station. As a long-standing Led Zep fan, I'd often wondered about the identity of the man namechecked in that song title 'Hats Off to (Roy) Harper'. Just how good is his music? Can he really have been that important and influential? Now here's my chance to find out.

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When the music stops, blame environmental madness

Even if, like me, you scarcely know the first thing about electric guitars, you'll definitely be familiar with the Gibson. It's the legendary American brand you can hear Jack Bruce and Eric Clapton playing on Cream's 'White Room', and Mark Knopfler on Dire Straits' 'Money For Nothing', and Dave Grohl on 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'.

Paul McCartney uses a left-handed Les Paul Standard as his main stage guitar; John Lennon wrote most of his songs on The White Album on a Gibson he borrowed in India from Donovan; Bob Marley's Les Paul Special is buried with him; U2's The Edge is a fan, as is Bob Dylan, as were Muddy Waters and Robert Johnson. Yep, and it almost goes without saying, Jimmy Page played 'Stairway To Heaven' on one too.

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24 Hours of ManBearPig

South Park: The Attack of Global Warming

Today is ManBearPig day. World renowned carbon trader and masseuse enthusiast Al Gore will be kicking off the celebrations by showing wall-to-wall eco-porn videos of weather doing scary things; stock markets across Europe will be collapsing in sympathy with the Prince of Wales's recent claims that economic growth is unhealthy and we must all live more "sustainably" (ie in abject poverty); and here on this blog we plan to commemorate this glorious event with fun, games and some of our favourite South Park, Futurama and Eco-loon propaganda videos.

Altogether now: "GLOBAL WARMING! WE DIDN'T LISTEN!!!!"

Here is a Futurama… (to see more, click here)

Money for nothing

When future historians sift through the wreckage of Western Civilisation to try to find out where it all went wrong, I do hope they chance upon at least one episode of The World's Strictest Parents (BBC3) and one of Deal or No Deal (Channel 4).

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Sarah Palin totally gets it

Yes I too am excited about Rick Perry's "welfare is a Ponzi scheme" speech. Even more so over the fact that, far from frightening off the voters, his honesty appears to be making them more enthusiastic. The problem for Rick is that his stout words are in severe danger of being eclipsed by an even finer speech by Sarah Palin at Indianola, Iowa. (Thanks to Richard North for drawing it to my attention). It was so inspirational, so true that it prompted even her traditional enemy the New York Times to ask:

Is there a hint of a political breakthrough hiding in there?

I think there is. I think if she goes on like this, all bets for Perry, Bachmann, Paul are off. I think President Palin…

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Traveller 'slaves': Vanessa Redgrave can surely explain…

Let's get one thing absolutely clear about the "slaves" who have been discovered by police imprisoned at a traveller's site in Bedfordshire: we must not to be quick to judge.

Which of us can say, hand on heart, that we have not at some time in our lives felt the urge to kidnap one or two stray migrant workers or alcoholics, shave their heads, steal their mobile phones, keep them in a shed or a dog kennel at the bottom of our gardens and force them to perform menial tasks for starvation rations and no money, beating them if they fail to measure up or try to escape?

And even those of us who haven't actually acted on this urge ought surely to be aware that…

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The Nobel Prize: way deadlier, more damaging and evil than dynamite

The Swedish chemist Alfred Nobel famously created his various prizes (Peace; Literature, etc) in a fit of a remorse at having invented dynamite. But from our precarious position at the beginning of the 21st Century, I think it's now pretty clear to most of us which of his inventions has done the most damage. And it certainly ain't those innocent explosives.

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