Cody Cook-Parrott's Blog, page 3
December 23, 2024
A New Chapter
Photo by Ellen RuttDear Reader,
Today marks the last day you’ll receive an email from me via Substack—a sentence I never imagined I’d write when I shifted here three years ago!
The best part? You don’t have to do a thing to keep reading. Seriously! If that’s all you need to know, feel free to close this email and go enjoy some fresh air. 🌿
But if you’d like a bit more context, read on:
What’s HappeningAll free and paid subscriptions have been seamlessly transitioned to a new email sending service, Buttondown. Starting Monday December 30, you’ll receive my newsletters just as you always have :
Free Subscribers: Monday Monday (Essay + Paying Attention) emails every week.
Paid Subscribers: My monthly Yes Yes Advice Column, Behind the Scenes of Business, along with all free content
Seasonal offerings will continue to appear as they always have—those aren’t going anywhere. A book club here and there, a special zoom event, a monthly creative challenge perhaps?
If you want to double check anything you can make a Buttondown account and check your subscription details here.
Otherwise everything has been migrated and should be all set to go and nothing for you to do.
The ArchiveThe entire archive has been moved to this link.
What’s ChangingThe biggest shift is that Monday Monday will return to its roots: A simple, email-only newsletter with the same paid elements many of you have enjoyed over the last few years.
For those of you who loved the community aspect of Substack, I encourage you to join Landscapes, where I’m active and engaged in the comments most days.
Why I’m LeavingI’m stepping away from Substack for two main reasons:
Social Media-Like Features: Substack has increasingly adopted social media elements (likes, metrics, Notes), which just don’t align with how I want to engage.
Alignment with Values: Some of Substack’s recent decisions as a company don’t reflect my values.
What I want is simple, functional tech—a platform where I can send my newsletter and advice column, keep it accessible, and focus on the work itself. I am looking forward to starting the year getting back to work and not spending so much time talking about the work.
Why Buttondown?
Buttondown on the back end is simple and easy to use. As a company they are not interested in becoming anything other than a tool for email sending. Their customer service on this migration was impeccable. I cannot say enough good things about my experience.
And best of all, there are no Notes. No reshares, no likes, and no orange check marks to “validate” success. No network effects.
It is also a solid and reliable way to stay connected with YOU.
Will your Substack account still exist?
No. I will be deleting my Substack account and reading my subscriptions in my email inbox.
Why upgrade to a paid subscription?
Free subscribers can upgrade to a paid subscription by clicking here
The Yes Yes Advice Column will continue to be my deep dive into creative business, personal life, and offering advice that’s tailored to the needs of artists and writers. I can’t wait to keep that conversation going with you.
Paying for a subscription allows me to be a working writer and produce my weekly podcast, Common Shapes. Paid subscribers get so much behind the scenes goodness of my business practices, most intimate essays, and more.
Common Shapes will no longer get its own email on Wednesdays but Season Three will continue on January 8 with a new episode! Make sure to follow the show on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to continue getting new interviews and my ideas each week. The links are a little wonky right now in the transition but if you want to listen they all exist right here safely :)
Thank YouI know many of you may not think much about these logistics and are simply happy to keep receiving my emails every Monday—and that makes my heart full. Others may miss certain features of Substack, and I honor that too.
I also want to acknowledge how many of you are here as publishers because of Newsletter Class or my Skillshare Course specifically on Substack.
It’s been incredible to see so many of you start newsletters, whether on Substack or elsewhere. I’ve been so grateful to share this space with you over the years and understand you may enjoy the simplicity of reading Monday Monday in the Substack app, my hope is that you’ll still read along in your email inbox. This email isn’t just about me telling you I am moving tech, but about continuing the journey we’ve started together (some of you since 2012!)
Thank you for being part of my digital ecosystem, wherever it takes us next. I’m excited for this new chapter and grateful to have you here.
As always, feel free to reach out if you have any questions about the transition. I’m here for it! And please remember I am a one guy show and will be handling this transition (with the support of Buttondown!) on my own. Another amazing detail - if anything happens like you get charged twice or there is a migration glitch, Buttondown will cover it.
If you have to unsubscribe twice, I am sorry. If you have to re-up your subscription, my sincere apologies. Transitions are hard. But I have done a few pivots in my life and they have always been worth it.
Here’s to being hard to find
Wildly available to the mystery
In solidarity and gratitude
info@codycookparrott.com
PO Box 252 Cedar, MI 49621
P.S A note to other writers who dream of leaving Substack but are afraid to lose all their money : This process took so much work and patience and strategizing, but it was possible. Take a look at my Creative Advising Offerings and see if one is right for you. I’d love to support you being in radical alignment with your business in 2025.
December 20, 2024
A Steady Decline : Monetizing the Practice
Dear reader,
Today I want to talk about staying committed to writing and art making and creativity even when your stats are plummeting. As the year comes to an end I reflect not on a year of business growth, but of decline.
I am reflecting on how this is my last essay of the year and what a gift it is to be in your inbox. I don’t take that space lightly.
I am reflecting on a year of knowing more about myself than ever before. A year without falling in love and no financial windfalls.
I am reflecting on what we choose to monetize and what it does to our creative practice when we chose to do so.I am reflecting on a year of being home a lot and transitioning into a year of being gone a lot.
The last 90 days of paid subscribersI am reflecting on what happens when we monetize the practice we must do to survive spiritually, and what happens when it becomes something we must do to survive in capitalism.
The Behind the Scenes of Business Series is for paid subscribers. You are also welcome to use the chat to ask your own business questions to pool answers from me and other readers. 1
Housekeeping before we keep going :
Save the Date (please note date change) : Jan 18 + 19 Mapping Your Creative Business : A year ahead planning retreat on zoom to support you in visioning each quarter of the year, designing your weeks, and dreaming up your offerings
Tomorrow Dec 21 is a special Solstice Cave Day in Landscapes which is still free to try this week. We meet 12-4pmEST with special solstice and year end writing prompts.
December 18, 2024
Creative Energy Outside of Instagram
Dear listener,
Welcome to our last episode of Common Shapes for the year! We will return with new episodes every Wednesday starting January 8
In today’s episode I share a series of practices, systems, and rituals I am doing in place of using Instagram.
Make sure you grab the free Creative Ideation Portal : A three day email guide to help you vision your projects and put them out into the world.
SOLSTICE SUPER SALE! $99 BUNDLE OF SIX CLASSES AND FIVE BONUSES!Reminder of where to go back to when building a channel off social media : The Art of Newsletter episode
ALL MY GUIDES :Creative Ideation Portal
Weaving in Our Values Toolkit
Note Taking Tools + Possibilities
Daily Writing Tracker
Marketing Calendar
Book Tracking
I also mention and our talk about money in !
Wild Letters The Life-Changing Magic of Being Honest About MoneyWelcome to the start of my research project and conversation series… Listen now3 months ago · 66 likes · 9 comments · Nic Antoinette and Cody Cook-ParrottAPPS Sublime - You can also subscribe to on Substack - grateful to for folding me in
Duolingo
OTHER THINGS I MENTION:Tiego Forte’s PARA method
how a photo and video-sharing social networking service gave me my best friends, true love, a beautiful career, and made me want to die - on sale for $5!
Make a list of five things you’re grateful for
Make a list of ten things you can do instead of reaching for your phone
Make a list of five friends to call in the next week
Make a list of your seventeen favorite words - hang these up
Make a list of the ten blessings social media gave you and then make a list of ten places where you can replace that
What has been working for you? Leave a comment!
Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
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info@codycookparrott.com
PO Box 252 Cedar, MI 49621
Landscapes : A writing group for all genres :
Meeting every M-F 5:30-7:30EST through Dec 20 and every Tue/Thu from 11-1EST - Also Solstice Cave Day is this Sat 12-4EST
December 16, 2024
Solstice Super Sale
THE TIME HAS COME! THE ANNUAL $99 SOLSTICE SUPER SALE BUNDLE IS HERE FOR YOU! Dear reader,
For the second year in a row, with totally new classes, I bring you the Solstice Super Sale Bundle. I will present the sale here and then tell you about why I do this, why I am retiring ALL recorded classes, and what to expect in the coming year.
Seven classes, Five Bonuses, Endless Inspiration
WHAT IS INCLUDED :NEWSLETTER CLASS : Purchased by over 2k students, this is perhaps the best and clearest class I have ever made on the power of email marketing and writing essays in a newsletter format
ECHOES OF SELF : My class all about how I research and organize my notes for a newsletter
TEACHING AS A PRACTICE : A course for visioning your own online course and putting it into the world
ORGANIZING A DAY : A class to help you organize your weeks, days, and take an inventory to make menus and lists of your gratitudes and to dos.
THE SHAPES OF OUR OFFERINGS : The ULTIMATE class in building and maintaining a creative ecosystem for your business
THE POETICS OF SQUARES : A QUILT IN A WEEKEND : Quilting 101 for the people! The only time a quilt class recording has ever been sold!
YOUR EVER CHANGING JOB : A guided template to help you pivot within your work
BONUS NOTION TEMPLATES :LEAD MAGNET TEMPLATE
CLASS OUTLINE TEMPLATE
SALES PAGE TEMPLATE
CRAFTING HIDDEN MARKETING GEMS
PROJECT DATABASE
COST : $99TOTAL VALUE IF PURCHASED SEPARATELY : $1,329ALL OTHER CLASS RECORDINGS WILL DISAPPEAR ON DECEMBER 31I have made the decision to retire all former classes. I loved teaching these courses and feel like their time has come to be tucked away!
I am in a great transition with my work and my job. I am still finding the language for it but after being in small groups in my MFA program I long for this kind of connection with my students and peers. I long for more 1:1 sessions, more small cohorts, figuring out how to do business in unusual and creative ways. I don’t have as much desire to reach the masses as I once did, I have a desire for intimacy and truly figuring out the pieces of the puzzle together.
So in this coming year keep an eye out for new offerings for smaller groups, more opportunities for creative advising, and more solid writing in this space.
I am really turning my energy toward Landscapes right now, the writing group I facilitate. In 2025 we have a lot of very special guest workshop teachers, guest hosts, and more. It is the place I want to pour the most of myself into, the place that I get the most back from, the place where I see people literally change from within.
“Landscapes is the sweetest, most supportive co-working space I have found. The group sincerely celebrates anything and everything you choose to do (or not do) with the time in a way that feels most true to the creative ebbs and flows and centers showing up as a win in and of itself. I’ve gotten so much done in Landscapes: novel chapters, residency applications, replying to neglected text messages, and (finally) closing all my browser tabs.”
Tamara Santibañez
This week Landscapes is free when you sign up for a free trial. We meet 5:30-7:30amEST M-F,our regular Tu/Thu 11-1EST and a special Solstice Cave Day from 12-4pm EST
I am offering these things this week because I find that the next few weeks can be hard. Holidays, family, our own expectations of how we were going to “do” this year. Measuring ourselves against other people’s year end lists etc.
So it is my hope that we can gather in Landscapes and be together though that, keeping the focus on our work and our practice. May we also use these spaces for rest, comfort, and connection. A place to do morning pages, throw in a load of laundry, and connect with the other freaks of the world.
With the Solstice Super Sale during these last few weeks of the year you have all the resources I could think of to self study for your creative practice, your small business, and your personal life.
While selling class recordings is a nice way of generating some passive income I have been inspired by others who write so beautifully about composting : this great post from , this from , and in general the great works of .
Some of the past class recordings I mention my former partner by name, refer to particular events that were happening in my life, and include specific details of that time. In part this is what makes them magic. I don’t teach from an evergreen place, I teach live because I like to be in the room with the mystery of what is present. Beholden to the unknown, attuned with what is lingering.
So much has changed in the last five years and it feels time to put these courses to bed. Developing classes and workshops is a foundational element of my creative practice, and keeping these around is feeling like I can’t quite see the future all the way. It is time to compost, time to risk losing some passive income, and continue to invent places for us to gather both in person and online.
The Solstice Super Sale and free week of Landscapes are for this week only. Then it is time to read Bernadette Mayer’s Midwinter Day and take a break from public facing work for a week while I tend to book writing.
Thank you for being a reader. If you missed last week’s episode of Common Shapes about creating a new suite of offerings give it a listen. I think in my visioning of MORE it helped me know how to clear out the dust of the past.
I’d love to hear how reimagining and archiving your own work has felt and what has opened up for you.
Happy full moon in Gemini from your favorite Gemini freak show
Book a 1:1 Creative Advising call
info@codycookparrott.com
PO Box 252 Cedar, MI 49621
Landscapes : A writing group for all genres :
Meeting every M-F 5:30EST through Dec 20 and every Tue/Thu from 11-1EST
Monday Monday is a reader-supported publication. To receive the Yes Yes Advice Column, Behind the Scenes of Business, and Friday Office Hours Chat become a paid subscriber.
December 14, 2024
TRY LANDSCAPES FOR FREE
Dear Reader,
Today we take a break from our usual programming for me to invite you to join for a FREE WEEK OF LANDSCAPES MON DEC 16 - FRI DEC 20
“There’s something magical happening in this corner of the internet. No joke. If you’re looking for a dose of inspiration, accountability and community into your writing days, you’ve found your spot. Landscapes is a no-judgement creative landing pad, an iterative safe space. It’s about making shit happen side-by-side. Cody’s delightful consistency, transparency and vision is icing on the cake.”
🌼 Perhaps you have been wondering what the fuss is all about and you want to see if you really are a 5:30am EST kind of writer without the financial commitment
🌼 Perhaps you want to feel out the vibe of the group before you join
🌼 Perhaps you want to see my style of facilitation before you commit to joining a monthly group
NOW YOU CAN!“Cody creates such a welcoming, inclusive, and inspiring space with Landscapes. Investing in it feels like a gift to my writing practice and a commitment to my own work. I love showing up and sharing space!”
Join below for a free trial week of Landscapes and come see what we're all about :)
We meet this upcoming week Mon - Fri 5:30am-7:30am ESTAnd we have our usual Tue/Thu group from 11-1EST
Plus if you join today you can join facilitating the BIPOC writers circle TODAY SAT 12/14 at 12pm EST
Other members are hosting extra sessions this week as well!
Plus when you sign up you get immediate access to amazing recordings of workshops, writing tools, community and more!
Looking forward to welcoming some fresh faces this week and I’ll be in our digital hub if you have any questions about the layout of the space.
Book a 1:1 Creative Advising call
info@codycookparrott.com
PO Box 252 Cedar, MI 49621
Landscapes : A writing group for all genres :
Monday Monday is a reader-supported publication. To receive the Yes Yes Advice Column, Behind the Scenes of Business, and Friday Office Hours Chat become a paid subscriber.
December 11, 2024
Creating A New Suite of Offerings
In this week’s episode I bring us through both the process of creating a new suite of business offerings as well as presenting to you my very own.
I bring you through how I invented these and where I started and how I worked back from that space. A little glimpse inside of my brain.
But first : Make sure you download the free Creative Ideation Portal : A three day guide for visioning and planning your own work.
I present each offering in the suite, who I ran it by, how I stand firm in my prices, why I didn’t raise them, and so much more.
May this support you in your own offering ideation and dreaming and inspire you to book a session to vision the year ahead!
The best way to support the show is by becoming a paid subscriber for $5/mo or $35/year
CENTER Creative advising, visionary ideation, and personalized business support with Cody Cook-ParrottAll sessions are available over zoom or in my home studio in Cedar, MI
Want to go straight to the booking links : Go here. This includes a free 15 minute call you can book if you want to see if any of these are the right fit for you! I am always open to finding exchanges that are right for us together.
Thanks for coming along with me to check out these new offerings. I look forward to seeing what you bring into the world and supporting you on your journey.
This podcast is brought to you by paid readers of this podcast, those of you who share it on social media and in your own newsletter and the team :
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Music by
Podcast Art by
info@codycookparrott.com
PO Box 252 Cedar, MI 49621
Landscapes : A writing group for all genres :
Meeting every M-F 5:30EST through Dec 20 and every Tue/Thu from 11-1EST
December 9, 2024
Hidden Treasures
When me and were creating the design for Look About You we had a really hard time deciding between the cream with purple writing or the fully purple cover. In the end we went with the cream but I just loved the purple version so much that I decided to print a special edition of thirty five - just in time to ship them to you for all your holiday stocking stuffer needs. So today I present to you :
SPECIAL EDITION LOOK ABOUT YOU IN PURPLE!Dear reader,
I am feeling filled with ideas but have almost too many, worried I don’t have enough containers to put them in or enough people for the containers. I dream about my roadside stand, I dream about an analog newsletter idea, I dream about teleporting everyone from Landscapes and Writing the Personal into a big barn where we all gather in person and can spread out our markers and paper and pens and dream up all the things we are going to write about together.
I am on deadline for my next book and it feels a bit daunting, like I need to lock myself away for the next month and not talk to anyone or work on anything else until it is finished. I will find my own version of this up on the hill in the woods by the meadow.
I had perhaps the most thrilling experience yet of my spending ban and today I will tell you the story. I have really wanted to get into XC skiing as an activity. I know that Play It Again Sports has some for cheap so I considered going but I knew I needed to not break the ban, or at least wait for my spending ban reevaluation date (December 31). I don’t use any social media so I no longer have an easy way to shout out to the masses. So I texted a few of my favorite people and sure enough, Meg had a pair. So we met up and I got a free pair of skis AND boots in my size, but no poles.
I thought ok, spending $10 on second hand poles is worth it to have the whole set up. So I am en route to Play It Again Sports and then remember that the thrift store in Lake Leelanau might have some. I pop in and sure enough there is a set of poles, but way too tall. I turn around and there is my friend Lisa. I tell her of my debacle and she exclaims that she has poles in her garage up the road and I can just go and grab them! She is retiring from skiing because she doesn’t like being cold. I on the other hand love to be cold and long to adventure along the trails with my new hobby.
So I went over to Lisa’s, got the poles from the garage, and voila! I now have a full XC ski set up for free from my friends who were happy to rehome objects they were no longer using.
My spending ban continues to show me not only the ways I can consume less new products, but the ways I can lean on my beautiful friends and neighbors to get the things I need to live a vibrant life.
I look forward to continuing to see the surprises it brings into my world. There are so many hidden treasures just waiting to be found, waiting to be traded, waiting to be gifted. This spirit is bringing me back into myself and my core values. What a gift!
If you want to read more about my spending ban, check out last week’s post.
I am also curious if people are interested in having support with their own spending bans? I am considering sharing the spreadsheet tool for mine and perhaps leading some sort of workshop for paid subscribers to design your own spending fast / ban / no spend challenge. Just an idea! Feel free to let me know if you’re interested.
I am a huge Simone Weil head and could not be more excited to take class coming up in a few weeks about her. Check it out here - attend live or watch the recording.
My friend and novelist wrote this amazing workbook about the therapeutic importance of expressive writing. Packed with so many amazing prompts for when you are stuck - I highly recommend. I love its focus on “non toxic positivity”
Counting down the minutes til my copy of As Ever, Miriam by arrives in the mail! Grab a copy here if you’re into untold queer love stories from the archives. You can also check out Faith being interviewed by the iconic in her newsletter
This excerpt about The Mutual Aid Chart by Dean Spade
Need more context and support for your own spending ban? Consider weaving it in with your values with the Consumer Strike for Palestine through the end of the year.
The World Needs Your Next Quilt by Zak Foster is now available and it is so beautiful! My copy is already getting banged up floating around my studio.
One of the coolest late night performances I’ve seen
Even though I am on my own spending ban I loved gift guide all about quilts over at
Our girl has infiltrated the mainstream! really shined on this one
Emahoy was my top artist for the second year in a row. What can I say my brain is at its best when her piano sounds are filling it.
Book a 1:1 Creative Advising call
info@codycookparrott.com
PO Box 252 Cedar, MI 49621
Landscapes : A writing group for all genres :
Meeting every M-F 5:30EST through Dec 20 and every Tue/Thu from 11-1EST
Monday Monday is a reader-supported publication. To receive the Yes Yes Advice Column, Behind the Scenes of Business, and Friday Office Hours Chat become a paid subscriber.
December 6, 2024
Can I Teach Writing?
Joan Didion at her deskHappenings : Writing the personal with yours truly, , and starts THIS SUNDAY at 12pm EST - the perfect place to bring all your questions about writing, newsletters, books, organizing your research notes, how the hell to put it all into practice, and more!
We meet three Sundays in a row (Dec 8, 15, and 22) with two bonus Office Hours / Co-Working days on Wed Dec 11 + 18
Class is recorded if you can’t make it live and two and three part payment plans are available for all - plus two sliding scale and trade spots left
Landscapes is meeting every early morning Mon - Fri at 5:30am EST through Dec 20 and at our regular times Tue/Thu 11-1 EST :)
REQUEST : Past, present, and potential members of Landscapes : I’d love your feedback - I am looking for testimonials and desires for the space :)
Lastly : Friday Office Hours are open in the Monday Monday chat for paid subscribers. Ask a question and me and the community will pop into support you!
Welcome to Yes Yes - my advice column tucked into the Monday Monday newsletter.
I am writing from early morning Landscapes, where Carter’s Christmas tree lights the zoom room and Catherine works on her novel and everyone cozies up with their morning pages. It really is my favorite place to be, amongst others dedicated to the craft of writing.
The world outside my window is covered in feet of snow and June is still sleeping under the covers. The days keep getting shorter and I’m amazed at how early I can go to bed.
Today’s question hits on writing but it also really hits on permission granting. How do I know I am qualified enough to do a thing? How do I know when it is time to step into the role of teacher? Let’s find out!
I am not a therapist and I have no training in advice giving. I am an artist, a writer, and a teacher of creative practice with a devotion to how we live. These are my opinions, my best shot at hope, and what I know from 36 years on the planet. As always, may you hold a gentle spirit while reading, take what you like, and leave the rest. Let’s dive in!
Dear Cody,
My mom received an inheritance when my grandfather died a decade ago. No one in my immediate family has worked a job since, and in some ways I'm happy for them—disability and mental illness would have made consistent work difficult—but in other ways I'm finding it really frustrating. I feel a lot of shame in holding this but I don't think I actually know how to work hard. I myself have only held sporadic part-time gigs for the past decade because my partner was until recently a high-wage earner in tech and my mom has been able to give me a supplemental allowance to support me.
Cut to last year when my partner burned out, hard, in their job and we were forced out of our apartment five months early by our landlords who wanted to sell. I know we both need jobs because we're in debt and we'll be entirely broke in the next two months (what my mom was able to give us all went to the move), but despite a couple of interviews neither of us are landing any work at all.
I don't know what to do! I want to start my own business teaching writing but don't think I'm qualified—what do I know??—and I feel deep shame that, when push comes to shove, I genuinely don't have what it takes to earn my own keep.
Dear reader,
There are so many layers here woven together, it makes sense you’d be in some discomfort and confusion. I also hear in you a clear desire : To start your own business teaching writing.
This brings up all the questions :What makes someone qualified to teach?
Are you qualified to teach writing?
Do you know enough?
Are you ready to teach writing?
Are you ready to start a business?
But I also dare to ask - are these even the right questions to be asking? Under capitalism and institutions we are lead to believe we need a certain kind of training to excel at a certain level, but is this true? Let’s dig in!
December 4, 2024
Self Publishing, Quitting Social Media, and Alternative Biz Frameworks with Nic Antoinette
Welcome to another episode of Common Shapes. I am delighted today to share this interview with where we talk about doing business differently, unhooking from the loops of social media, self publishing our books, anti capitalist business frameworks, and so much more
If you want to support the show become a paid subscriber and jump in the comments and let us know what resonated!
You can find more of Nic’s work by subscribing to
You can check out her website here
And her hiking memoirs here
Don’t forget to download the free three day Creative Ideation Portal to vision all of your beautiful projects as well as the new Daily Writing Tracker
Coming up this week:
Landscapes meets every morning M-F 5:30-7:30am EST through December 20 and our regular times Tue/Thu 11-1EST
Writing the Personal starts this Sunday December 8 with guest teachers and - if this episode resonates and you want to dig deeper into writing personal essays this is the class for you!
Thanks for listening!
Book a 1:1 Creative Advising call
info@codycookparrott.com
PO Box 252 Cedar, MI 49621
Landscapes : A writing group for all genres
December 2, 2024
The Great Spending Ban
To begin today I want to share with you a free Daily Writing Tracker I have been using in the early mornings of Landscapes to track my progress on my newsletter essays and my next book. Landscapes meets this month at its normal time of Tue/Thu 11-1EST and also M-F 5:30-7:30amEST Dec 2- 20
That’s right! Three weeks of our Early Morning Writing Retreat are in session. Quiet mornings before the sun comes up.
Monday Monday is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
The daily writing tracker also includes prompts to get you closer to knowing what it is you want to write about, organize your ideas, and more. It’s a bit of a sneak peek into the more robust google sheet template we will be using together in Week One of Writing the Personal - the class I am teaching with and that starts this upcoming Sunday December 8 and runs through December 22 when the light returns.
The tracker is also great if you want to do an advent sort of writing challenge for yourself, like twenty days of writing every day leading up to the Solstice.
A little over two weeks ago I mapped out a spending ban for myself to take part in through the end of the year. To say this assignment has changed me would be almost too light. I have been truly transformed in a way I did not expect. I was tempted to not even start because I feared that I would fail, alas, I carried on.
An Acknowledgment Talking about money is really hard and weird. I ask that you read this in your own energetic sovereignty and apply what works and leave the rest. Perhaps you are struggling to make rent this month, or you are a millionaire with a strong investment portfolio. I admire and acknowledge that my readers are coming at this from all different angles. What I know is that at any income bracket we can experience chaotic spending and not having systems in place. You can always start sweeping up the mess today, even if it is in small ways.
What is a spending ban?A spending ban (also known as a spending fast, a spending diet, a no spend challenge : find the words that are right for you) is a pre determined amount of time where you will not buy certain things that fall outside of necessities.
It is generally recommended to try this for a minimum of 1-3 months, but of course you could test it over a weekend if you wanted to. My plan is to revaluate at the end of the year and continue the spending ban for all of next year. One of my tweaks is I have an interest in taking the Trauma of Money course this Spring and I want to see if I can work it into my spending plan. Thank you to those of you who suggested it to me.
Why do a spending ban?For me the spending ban emerged when I hit bottom and at my therapist’s insistence read the book Spent: Break the Buying Obsession and Discover Your True Worth, which incorporates many of the principles of Debtors Anonymous and healing patterns of money addiction.
While many things lead me to this bottom, a place I have been before, no solution was making its way through my brain until I read this book. It just clicked everything into place for me. I love god and twelve step language so it really rang true, although it doesn’t lean too heavily into those places. I also asked a friend to read it with me, this was a big step : Both in asking for support and having the accountability to check in with someone else about what it was bringing up.
The spending ban was out of a desire to pay down my debt, get caught up with back taxes, and start saving for the first time ever. I had become a high earner for a self employed artist but was still living paycheck to paycheck and this was both embarrassing and outside of my values. I had experienced lifestyle creep, spending addiction, and mismanagement of my money.
Today I have robust spreadsheets, clear systems, a bookkeeper and accountant that are attentive and helpful, and friends and fellows who I can share my struggles with without fear of shame or judgement.While I still have so much debt and a long way to go, my anxiety is in a new and different place having these systems set up.
Even a one month spending ban is a way to get clear on what your values are, take a cold hard look at where your money is going, and find out more about yourself in the process.
Making a spending plan will help you get clear on your needs vs wants list, something only you can define for yourself.
Making a spending planPart of a spending ban is also making a spending plan. I did this by doing all of my categorizing by hand line by line in YNAB for at least three months. I was so eager that to speed the process up I went back through three months of bank statements and entered everything in. This way you can get a really clear sense of what is coming in and what is going out. You can also do this by hand in a ledger, using google sheets, or any other money tracking app that suits you. Pick what makes sense to YOU, not what other people are doing. This was really important for me.
I made my spending plan based on my enough number, something I learned about from - who I continue to deeply credit for much of my money support and healing. (They are also the guest on Common Shapes this week!!!)
My current spending plan doesn’t include things like travel, which I will need to adjust a bit for next year. I just ran my numbers for November and am happy to say I was literally within $1 of my personal spending plan. This is a huge accomplishment for me. My business and tax numbers need a little bit of tweaking but I have come to accept the spending plan will always need some tweaking, especially as I am learning my own new systems.
The spending ban started part way through the month, so I am even more excited to see how much I can save and put toward my debt for December.
My advice is to keep your categories simple when starting out, but if you are like NO I want to be very specific and have a category just for Zoom, that could work for you too! Again - it’s so important to make this work so that you’ll actually do it.
Decide what goes and what staysThere are clear needs : food, shelter, transportation, insurance, dog food, etc. I decided I would continue to take my meds and pay for therapy, things that keep me alive. You know what you need to stay.
What was clearest in my no spend categories were : No books, no plants, no clothes, no home decor. Those are my four biggest shopping triggers. One of the last things I bought before the spending ban was a Kindle which has been so helpful in getting library books straight to the device.
I made three categories in a spreadsheet : ALLOWED, NOT ALLOWED, ALLOWED TO TRADE. I also made a “questions” category and require things to sit there for a minimum of one night if not a few weeks. That is currently where Trauma of Money is sitting being considered to purchase.
The Allowed List is a bit longer per my spending plan spreadsheet but these were things more that could fall under wants I wanted to be clear I would allow for myself.
So far I haven’t slipped once on my spending ban, and Black Friday didn’t even test me that much. I did unsubscribe from a few of my favorite shop’s newsletters and that felt good. Those Online Ceramics new drop texts will really get me window shopping.
Gift economy, trading, and spending hacksOne of the most delightful parts of the spending ban is that it hasn’t stopped me from acquiring things I desire outside of my spending plan - many of them cold pitches with people I don’t have pre existing relationships with.
Things I am trading people for for Writing the Personal :
Guest teaching at Landscapes
Private Spanish Lessons
Somatic coaching session
Ceramics
Things I am trading for with my own services :
A workshop
A spreadsheet template
Other 1:1 sessions
Sending my book to a friend who also just put a book out and is sending it to me
I also believe in the magic of passing a gift on. For instance I had a colleague teach in Landscapes as a trade for a 1:1 Creative Advising session, but instead of taking the session for herself she passed it on to someone else. Magic!
One hack I did was used an old email address to start a new Audible account and got two free credits. I also went through and lowered a bunch of my bills using my Naropa student ID! Spotify is now only 5.99/mo and Hulu is 1.99. I also lowered my phone bill. These are things on my want list that stayed in the spending ban. My playlists and my shows are a big part of my quality of life and a minimal enough cost a month that I decided to keep them.
Using Hoopla I get to borrow four audio books a month for free and Libby lets me borrow five Kindle books at a time. And then of course regular library book checkouts. And now Spotify Premium gives you 15 hrs of audiobook listening a month (huge!)
I am also sinking my teeth into a lot of old audio books I read before but didn’t fully understand yet because I didn’t have my money systems in place.
More on some of my exact money systems here : Some of the books I read this week to continue my financial independence inspiration⚬ Work Optional : Retire Early the Non-Penny-Pinching Way by Tanja Hester
⚬ I Survived Capitalism and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt: Everything I Wish I Never Had to Learn about Money by Madeline Pendleton
⚬ The Art of Money: A Life-Changing Guide to Financial Happiness by Bari Tessler
⚬ The Spender's Guide to Debt-Free Living: How a Spending Fast Helped Me Get from Broke to Badass in Record Time by Anna Newell Jones
For the most part I try to stay off Substack Notes as I don’t currently participate in any social media, but when I login to write my little newsletter I noticed this year everyone has a gift guide. I only clicked through on one and it almost got me to buy some fabric, but I took a deep breath and paused and stayed committed to the spending fast and pictured just how much fabric I already have. Plus it’s very clearly written in the NOT ALLOWED category in my spreadsheet.
Having everything clearly mapped out in the spreadsheet has been a huge asset to this experiment.Another rule on my spending ban is : drum roll please : no more Target. Target is a huge trigger for me. Both in my money story all the way back to childhood to now. It is a place I overspend and they gave me a credit card. I am happy to share I paid off that credit card this week and threw it away! It is the prettiest place to buy toilet paper, but I can also get that at any old CVS, a place that does not delight me in the same ways. When I was reading Work Optional this was also one of Tanja Hester’s triggers and that made me feel much less alone.
Another strange experience was that I go to Costco twice a year - to get my winter tires put on and taken off. I scheduled my appointment for the day after Black Friday, not considering I would be beholden to this store for two hours on a day filled with sales. The good thing is that Costco deeply stresses me out so I brought my noise cancelling headphones (thank you for the tip ) and sat with my pizza slice in the corner and knit the whole time. I did one lap around the store to get some steps in and the Apple Watches caught my eye. Hmmm maybe I would be on my phone less if it was on a watch? I walked away unscathed.
Also I have noticed the boys who work at the tire department at Costco are extremely hot, I don’t make the rules!
No holiday gifts :My family members aren’t huge gift givers but we usually thrift little things or make each other objects for the holidays. I let my family know I wouldn’t be buying gifts this year but I would love to make some food. I watched this give permission to my family to share their own desires - my dad stating that he did not want to cook at all this year and wanted me and my brother to. I feel like it is easy for our family to just sort of “figure it out” when we’re all together. It felt like such a loving request for him to say - ok if you’re going to say what you want I would like to say what I want.
I have plenty of pot holder making materials if I change my mind and want to make some gifts.
Being off Instagram :I think that social media has been a huge part of my consumerism addiction, lifestyle creep, and quick purchasing actions. Being deactivated during my spending ban has been a huge help and blessing of not seeing very many sales at this time.
I think it can be another embarrassing thing to feel like Instagram has its hold on me but, it does. And the more honest I am about how it continues to affect me the better I feel.
Going forward :Some considerations going forward would be adding a travel budget to my January spending plan as I’ll be guest teaching at Bates College for a few days at the end of January and traveling to Boulder for school in March. I’ll need to add some line items for eating out and I’m also considering allowing myself one book at a bookstore when in another city. This is a huge piece of being a writer for me - I love scouring a new bookstore and seeing what sparks my fancy. I am going to spend the next month leaning into how this feels or if it goes against my hopes for the spending ban.
Filling the Time :Something that the spending ban and no longer being on social media has given me is : Time. Not just time but the spaciousness to fill my time with less stress. I have been wanting to find something outside of my work to put my energy toward and I live across from a horse farm and look at horses every day when I walk June. Sadly this horse farm flies their Trump flag high, but a friend who is a holistic vet and chiropractor told me about another farm around the corner from my house : Sea2Stable. From walking by horses every day I got it in my head I needed to be touching horses and hanging out with them.
I have my first official shift there Wednesday morning where I’ll learn to clean up the barn and do chores and eventually be trained in giving energetic healing to the traumatized horses who are being rehabilitated at the same time that they are paired with at risk kids who could use the bond of a horse to heal their nervous systems.
I don’t know anything about horses and they kind of scare the shit out of me but Wendy told me I would get the hang of it. I brushed Shrubs for awhile when I went for my visit last week and he has two different color eyes and is a baby and massive and perfect.
Transformation :I have felt my relationships strengthen, my values get clearer, and the number in my bank account grow. I have a lot of fear and doubt still but I take it all one day at a time.
I feel less anxious and more present. I feel more excited about school and less distracted by packages coming to the door. I am walking and outside more than ever and consuming less.
I have even less desire to use social media for my business or personally, and I am feeling my mood improve in ways I did not expect.
There is so much mystery to life and so much out of our control, it feels amazing to regain some of the unknown with clear and sharp systems and rules. I am clear on what I am devoted to, which leads me to greater discipline.
I do my books in YNAB first thing every morning after I sit down with my coffee and light my candle. The coffee stacks on the match strike which stacks on the candle being lit which stacks onto opening YNAB and my bank account and my spreadsheet. No negotiating! Once this is finished I turn toward my writing with ease and pleasure.
I feel like a baby horse in my own ways, unsteady legs learning to walk, figuring out how to be a part of the herd. The lessons are their own gifts and I am grateful.
Thank you for coming on this journey with me today. I’d love to hear in the comments if you have ever done a no spend challenge or a spending fast of your own, what systems have worked for you, or what sorts of things are up for you right now with money!
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Landscapes : A writing group for all genres
If you loved today’s essays and want to lean into writing about your own life I’d love to invite you to Writing the Personal Dec 8-22 taught by myself, and
I am so excited for class this weekend, for being in the room together, for finding our ways through the personal and political and poetic. To weave in our values and reframe what it means to write about the self. I’d love to see you there.
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