Simon Hall's Blog

Doubts

I'm good at doubts.  Lots of things in life I never really got the hang of - relationships, reverse parking, fashion sense, throwing the javelin, baking cakes, multiplying matrices, and many, many others - but doubts were never a problem.

Self doubts are a particular strength. And so I write to you today surrounded by a whole host of the carping crowd.

It's back to teaching again. Tomorrow, I embark upon the longest spell of the teaching of writing that I've ever attempted - almost a whole week, no less.  I've worked hard at the plans and ideas, the exercises and the interactive bits, and think I've come up with a passable series of moderately informative and even occasionally entertaining lectures...

...but now, as the moment to deliver them approaches, here come the doubts.

It's all back to the same old question, the one I've mentioned many a time before - who am I to try to teach?  What do I really know about writing?  Why should anyone listen to me?

I'm trying to reassure myself with the soothing whisper that such feelings are only natural, a sort of "first night nerves" thing, but nonetheless I'm feeling a tad on the wobbly side at the moment.

I know I'll get through, it's something I've experienced before.  In the run up to any big gig or talk, I'll commonly feel like this. It's only natural.

But that's not helping to ease the doubts away!

So, a curiously downbeat blog for a Friday.  I shall go take some of my special medicine, the fermented vegetable products type, courtesy of a nearby public house, and talk to some of my fine friends, and doubtless I shall feel better.

But the real point of this blog?  Just to ask you to occasionally spare a thought for the performer. 

As you sit at an event, a talk, a lecture, whatever, remember the person at the front there may not always be as calm and in control as it may seem... so, if you'd be so kind, smiling, nodding, appreciating and laughing at the right points is always very welcome for a fellow human being in a position that can often feel more than a little lonely...

Another journey

One thing I've said time and again in these blogs is how much you discover about yourself when you start writing.

For me, a key revelations is the trait that I have to continually challenge myself.  When I first thought about writing, the question was whether I had the discipline and ability to write a book? 

When I managed that, it was whether I could get the thing into a passable enough shape to be published.  And after reaching that rather surprising/alarming landmark, it was onto the nerve wracking business of going out and talking about the thing at libraries and literary festivals.

And then came the even more daunting prospect of writing another one...

The reason for this continual need to test myself goes back to my childhood I suspect, and feeling I always had to prove myself.  I don't think I'll go into any more of that here if you don't mind - I'm happy to say a fair bit in these blogs, but that might be a trespass too far into a very tender land.

Anyway, back to the point, and it was this.  I mentioned before about this play I'm writing, based on the tvdetective books.  I'm now looking back in amazement at how easily I agreed to do it, as if it were just the simplest of natural progressions from writing novels. Naive or what?!

I'm now well into planning the play, and have come to properly understand just what a mammoth task I'm taking on.  It's not just the plot and characters and writing, it's all the direction and lighting and scene changes and thinking about how to use the stage and so much!

I confess here to a very intense visit to the library, to look up some of the great playwrights and an attempt to crib tips from the masters.

Which isn't to say I'm not enjoying it - I very much am - but just a musing on what it seems to take to keep me entertained.  A continual need to break new ground, to challenge myself is, I've come to think, a welcome trait - mostly.  But the question that lingers in the darkness at the edge of my mind is - when do I ever rest and properly relax?

Well, I think I've said quite enough for this entry. That last question is not one I'm thinking about for now!  It's time to exit the online world stage left.  I need to get back to this play...

Sad songs

You kind folk who take time to be interested in my humble scribblings are certainly into your music.

It doesn't feel so long ago that I wrote in a blog of why I don't - unlike quite a few other authors - quote or mention songs in the tvdetective books (to recap - because I think it can be exclusive to those who don't know the works in question was the reason).

Well, another musically themed question has arrived, asking what my favourite sad songs are?  And as I'm in a kind of appropriate mood to answer it, here we go.

A quick aside (you're used to them by now, come on) - part of the reason is that I've been feeling a little nostalgic of late.  It's hard to say exactly why, but at least some of the explanation is a song I heard on the very fine BBC Radio Station Number Two. 

It was Roger Whittaker's The Last Farewell, and it took me straight back through the many intervening years, an instant transportation, to my childhood.  I recall my parents playing it in the car, back in what must have been 1975 or so, and thus suffered the old misty eyes syndrome for days long lost.

Anyhow, back to the question, and away from another of the familiar Hall digressions.  The answer is as follows -

Oh, first one more little caveat.  I might just be speaking for Dan and myself here, if you know what I mean - and I suspect you do.

Probably the saddest song in our limited scope of knowledge and floundering efforts of opinion is Fleetwood Mac's Man of the World.  It's that ruthless puncturing of an image - one of someone so successful they could never have a care.  It's pure Dan, who on the surface is doing so well, but scratch a little at the surface and....

Following that, and not in any particular order now - Elvis's I Just Can't Help Believin' (the live version) is tearful for its summation of forlorn, lovelorn hope. Then there's For the Good Times, the Perry Como recording (although Elvis also did a belter), for its lament of the end of a precious relationship.

Another which thuds the heart is Kevin Johnson's Rock and Roll I Gave You the Best Years of my Life, because of the way it captures the cold death of a dream.  And finally for this little roll call, Dan would always point you to the Stones' Paint it Black, for the way it portrays how we - sorry, he - can sometimes feel.

Cor, that was quite a blog, it just flowed out and felt remarkably cathartic to write.  I hope it provides some kind of passable answer for my questioner (you know who you are!).  I guess, as Elton John once memorably sang, Sad Songs say so Much.

Don't forget, if you've got a question about the tvdetective books, or any area of my writing, you can get in touch via the contact page of the site - www.thetvdetective.com/contact.html

An uplifting evening

My thanks to all who toddled along to Stoke Library in Plymouth on Thursday for the Murder Mystery evening. I had a splendid time, and I think from the reaction of the audience that they did too.

The Writers' Club plot was beautifully put together, supremely well performed, and kept everyone guessing as to who may have been the killer, myself included.

And who would ever suspect the vicar's wife, eh?!  Scandal!

But a particular thanks must go to all those who were kind enough to come have a chat and be so very warm and encouraging about my fledgling attempts at writing novels.

I've mentioned before - it's a recurring theme in fact, looking back - how lonely this writing lark can feel.  You sit there, day in and day out, tapping away on your computer, and often you wonder whether what you're doing is any good at all, worthy even of ever seeing the light of day.

And even when you have the reassurance of a book actually being published, then comes the angst of imagining people reading the thing and imagining what they're making of it.

So it was a great pleasure to hear so many of you seem to enjoy the tvdetective series - many thanks for telling me so, it is hugely appreciated.  Some days a man needs an uplift, and you certainly provided it.

I'll try to answer one question here that many of you raised.  Yes, a new tvdetective novel is in production, is mostly finished in fact - apart from needing some serious editing (as ever), which may take a while - and I'm sorry it's been so long in the making.  My only excuse is that emotionally it's been a bumpy year in my life, with some traumatic family issues which made writing difficult.

However! I'm feeling better now and think I can sense the muse returning, so readers beware what you wish for.  I'll hope to bring you news of a new book in the not too distant future...

A sparkle in the darkness

I was just looking through the plans and plot for tomorrow's Murder Mystery Night in Plymouth, and it started me musing on the subject of ideas and where they come from.

The title of this blog is the way I often think of the arrival of a new idea - as though you're looking into a great dark sky, searching for something, and suddenly comes this spray of light.  It's an instant transformation, from incomprehension to understanding, and can even leave me breathless. 

In the tvdetective books, Dan too sometimes marvels at that wonderful moment when he sees the solution to a case.  He calls it an epiphany, and sees it in much the same way.  It can be so powerful as to leave him unable to do anything for a while, apart from sit and come to terms with it.

Anyway, before we wandered off on one of the familiar Hall digressions, what I was saying was this - for me, ideas can come at any time and from anywhere.

I often get them from the newspapers, or seeing the proceedings of a court case, or just hearing or noticing something about the world as it flows around me.  But if you look at it ruthlessly, most books - well, certainly mine, simple creature that I am - usually come down to one basic premise upon which the great edifice is built.

For me, with The TV Detective it was the shock of the change of life for Dan and how he coped. In The Death Pictures, all revolved around that simple idea for how a code could work. Evil Valley was based on one very unbalanced man, The Judgement Book was all about the secrets we keep, and The Balance of Guilt was based on the unfolding horrors of terrorism and the extremes that some go to in order to fight it.

As with so much of life, for a humble scribbler the idea is all.  If that's right, then so much can flow from it.

The writers of Stoke Library have come up with a very good one and I'm looking forward to playing my part in it.  For now, I shall say no more so as not to risk giving anything away - you know how easily I can go on if I don't watch out!

If you're interested in coming along tomorrow, there are more details on the News and Events page - www.thetvdetective.com/news.html

Vengeance

Nothing too heavy for this fair Saturday morning, fear not, just a few thoughts to follow up last week's musings on Treasured Hates, my dear friend Adam, and his dislike of ill mannered behaviour.

Writing books is a wonderful way of taking revenge, or even vengeance on people in a suble, and commonly not so subtle manner.

It has been noted in the tvdetective series that I can descend into what the kinder readers describe as "social commentary", the more straightforward ones "a bit of a rant" about a particular subject, or group of people, who have the misfortune of attracting my ire at that moment.

Guilty as charged is my unavoidable response!

Petty officialdom is a common target, the legal profession also often feature, as do journalists who may not be in the Gifted and Talented set of the ignoble profession.

As ever, the question comes up; is this a reflection of my own views, and if so, what have these folk ever done to upset me?

And as ever, my answer is - no comment!  You must read into the novels what you will (it says this in my little book of How to be an Author - always be enigmatic, mystery sells, apparently.  And who am I to argue, a relative newcomer to this fascinating trade?)

But what I will add is this - if there's an issue that's bothering you, a hundred thousand words or so is a fantastic way of working it off!  It's like running a mental marathon, and you certainly feel better come the end, even if it takes a while, and a fair chunk of effort to get there.

Another common question posed of me is whether the newsroom characters in the tvdetective books are drawn of my colleagues?  I hope by now I don't need to tell you how I'm going to answer that point, except to say that for a writer, influences can come from all around, but some places more so than others...

Excuse me signing off now, but summer appears to have recalled her job description and there's a lesser spotted shining object in the sky, so I'm off for a run around the river, followed by a gym class. It's a Hall Saturday morning favourite, although I will confess that the best part remains the return home, the papers and a bacon sandwich!

Nostalgia

The fair city of Exeter has been full of beaming young faces and wonderfully proud parents this week.  It's graduation time, and very touching too.

It's drawn in my emotions for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, I'm lucky enough to be an occasional teacher at Exeter, passing on what scraps I know of the media and how to go about getting a job in this curious industry.  As part of that I mentor students, and it's always a delight to see them graduating and heading outwards and upwards for the career of their choice.

It all feels like a nervous step into a fascinating new world, and so very exciting for it.  Despite me now being twice their age, I still find myself sharing the thrill.  It's a wonderful sensation. 

In fact, the teaching and mentoring work I do is probably the area of my life of which I'm most proud.  Every Christmas, when I get cards from the young folk I've helped into the media, it makes it all so very worthwhile.  I suppose it's the old story of feeling you've made a difference in life, and actually achieved something.

The other reason the graduations have drawn me in is that they're always an instant transportation through time, twenty years and more, to my own day.  It was pure sunshine, surrounded by many friends who still endure and family who I've since lost.  I think I'd better stop this little passage now before the keyboard gets damp...

However, back to the eventual point of this blog, which was something to do with these tvdetective books that I churn out.  I've been asked a few times about Dan's history, of his upbringing and education, something which keen-eyed observers have noted doesn't much feature in the series.

It is a part of his life which is important, but in a way that makes it difficult for him to talk about.  Suffice to say, as with many matters concerning Dan, it's far from straightforward.

I can't go into too much now, as it'll spoil what you'll eventually come to learn towards the end of the series.  But I can tell you Dan did go through some very formative experiences when he went to university, and in the years afterwards, which will come to explain a fair amount about his character, and particularly why he can be such a coward.

Right, enough now, before I give it all away!  How come i always manage to say more than I intend in these little rambles?  Ah, maybe that's a question for another day.

Finally then, a reminder of the excellent Murder Mystery Night in Plymouth next week (Thurs 28th July), which I'm lucky enough to be compering.  It should be a highly entertaining evening (despite my input), so if you fancy coming along, there are more details on the News and Events page - www.thetvdetective.com/news.html

Treasured hates

I received an email this week; one which was mostly a comment on the tvdetective books, but contained a question too.  I liked it, and lots in fact, so here comes my answer...

My correspondent was kind enough to tell me of his enjoyment of the series, and his particular fondness for Adam. It's our detective friend's upright and moral ways which were most appealing, and importantly his dedicated dislike of ill manners.

Mobile phones, and their inconsiderate use was a key theme.  As you might expect, Adam has to have a mobile, but doesn't greatly care for it.  If he receives a call in a pub, or restaurant for example, he'll always answer it outside.  He regards people shouting (as they always seem to feel they must) into a mobile in the company of - and more to the point, to the annoyance of - others, a great discourtesy.

Do I, my correspondent enquires, share that view?

The answer is a very sizeable yes! It's incredibly annoying and utterly inconsiderate, when people are trying to relax and chat, to be forced to listen to half a conversation - and one which is invariably entirely tedious anyway.

I agree with Adam and his oft-aired view, that etiquette hasn't caught up with technology, but how I wish it would hurry up and do so.  I have a secret (not so secret now!) fantasy that mobile phone use in pubs and all public buildings will soon be treated in the same manner as the fate which befell smoking.

And while I'm in the familar rant mode - here's another keen Hall detestation regarding mobiles.  As frequent readers of my ramblings will know, I often take a walk around the river here for its beauty, enjoyment, inspiration, sense of tranquility, all that.  And how often do I suffer someone shouting into a mobile as they walk, and thus totally missing all those natural wonders, not to mention polluting the peace with their lack of consideration?!

Ok, deep breath, rant over.  But hey, that was cathartic and how I feel better for it.  These blogs can be so therapeutic.

One more thing to mention here, and it's a Murder Mystery night in Plymouth in a fortnight's time. The Stoke Writers' Group are plotting a bloody scenario which we're going to be invited to solve, and I've been asked to compere the night. 

It'll be my pleasure.  The last one was great fun, and I even picked up a few ideas for the tvdetective books!  If you fancy it, I know it'll be a mighty fine night out.  There are more details on the News and Events page, if you're interested - www.thetvdetective.com/news.html

Here's wishing you a fine - and mobile intrusion free! - weekend.

Time

I've always been dreadful at just whiling away time.  It's something I've never really got the hang of.

Don't get me wrong, I love moments of leisure.  Sitting by the river, watching a cormorant fishing, or the ducks swimming their endless circles, finding the corner of a pub for a quiet pint, or just strolling through the wonderful Devon countryside, they're all firm favourites.  It's just that while I'm doing any of that, I'm usually thinking about some idea for a new book, or how to write a particular scene, or maybe some element of teaching work.  My mind just doesn't idle well.

I was reminded of this at the weekend with a strange little quirk of my character.  I've made a resolution to get better to grips with this modern world thing, and try to use the new fangled internet and all its social media rather more effectively.

I am on Facebook, now have more than a hundred friends (which I'm very proud of - almost all of them I even know!), but am trying to get into the habit of using it more.  I don't think I'll ever be continually updating what I'm doing, as some people manage, but I have found a few little features which I fancy.

One is the quotations page, where you can leave a few words summing up your current thoughts, feelings, state of mind etc.  I've always been a sucker for some finely drafted lines, so I'm going to try to pop some on my profile.

I've never much used quotes in the tvdetective books - I think they can be a little exclusive, alienating more than bringing people in to the writing, and even too highbrow for my style - but now I see an opportunity to quote galore!

So, back to the point of this blog, which was my inability to waste time.  Up in my study is a dictionary of quotations, which has been fished off the shelf, dusted down and placed in the smallest room of the house, for me to peruse for long forgotten quotations while I go about my shaving, ablutions etc. 

Told you I was no good at wasting time!

Mind and body

It's Saturday morning, I'm up early after a kindly and refreshing night's sleep (the week was a 7, perhaps a little more on the Hall rush around like a fool/ get stressed scale), I'm in my study, looking out over a yellow sunlight Exeter, and I'm contemplating some exercise.

For me it comes in two forms.  There's the straightforward go to the gym, do a bit of running, some rowing and a few weights, or there's the jog around the river.  The latter is my favourite by far; it's much more interesting in terms of scenery, fresh air and variety and is wonderful for getting my mind going.

If I've got a problem to solve, either in life or one of the tvdetective books, it's remarkable how often the answer will come to me when running around the Exe. It can't be a coincidence, it must be to do with the body working hard also prompting the mind to get a shift on too.

Curiously, as an aside here, I've come to enjoy running most in the rain.  There's something about its cooling, atmospheric effect, that I enjoy more than sunlight. Or maybe that's more to do with my sometimes depressive and pessimistic personality?

Anyhow, before I went off on the traditional Hall meander, the point of the blog was this. An enjoyment - or at least, a sufferance - of exercise is something Dan and I share. We both find it great for working off the stresses of a day, or week, and more than useful for giving ourselves some effective thinking time. 

I've noticed in the tvdetective books that Dan can often make a breakthrough in a case when he's out on Dartmoor with Rutherford, or just running around Hartley Park.  Commonly I haven't planned that, it just feels the natural point for it to happen.  I got into the exercise habit almost 20 years ago now, just after my time at university (college days were too filled with DJing, drinking beer and chasing girls!), and am very glad I did.

So now it is I'm off for some exercise (after a cup of tea and a bacon sandwich of course - a true athelete's preparation!), with a range of things to think over.  I've got a week's teaching of writing at the Swanwick Writers' Summer School next month, and there are a few little exercises and some strange bits of fun I want to try out on the poor students.  Well, you know me... nothing's ever straightforward!